Trixie At the Royal Wedding

by Mooncalf

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Trixie, Spike, Random, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6
Length: 9885

While touring Canterlot with her new magic act, the Great and Powerful Trixie finds herself invited to the royal wedding at the castle. But who's getting married? Why did they invite Trixie? And why are those ponies from Ponyville attending?

While touring Canterlot with her new magic act, the Great and Powerful Trixie finds herself invited to the royal wedding at the castle.

But who's getting married? Why did they invite Trixie? And why are those ponies from Ponyville attending?

The story art is drawn by the talented Amenoo at Deviant Art, originally commissioned by EvanKestral. Used with permission.

Published 2013-12-28 00:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-28 00:30:02 UTC

The Royal Wedding

Boredom.

There are plenty of ways for a pony to be bored. There's the classic 'horribly dull class that just won't ever end', or the adult version, 'the never-ending business meeting that nopony cares about'. There's the boredom of a long train trip when you realize you forgot to bring a book or a deck of cards or anything at all to keep you occupied. And there's the boredom you experience when you've done most things you can do that you actually like and need to pass the time in some way.

Trixie, AKA the Great and Powerful Trixie, was desperately in need of amusement. Of course, an impartial pony observer could argue that a professional show mare should be able to provide plenty of entertainment of her own, and they would be correct. All morning, Trixie had been putting on magic performances in Canterlot's market district for the pleasure of the crowds. No, it didn't rake in the big bits, but it paid well enough for food and board and minor luxuries, and the rest she put aside for important purchases, such as new clothes and – she really hoped – a new wagon.

After all, Trixie wasn't in the business for the money. She was in it for the performing life. To stand on the stage, to hear the cheering of the audience, to perform feats of magic that amazed and astounded, that was what she wanted to do more than anything. Trixie would admit that she wasn't the greatest unicorn in all of Equestria – that title belonged to a certain other pony – but she knew that she was great in her own way, and she wanted to share it as much as possible.

The first Ponyville visit had crushed her dream, at least for a time. And blinded by anger directed at the most obvious scapegoat, she had wasted over a year doing debasing manual labor to fund her second Ponyville visit. It had gone about as well as you'd expect. She had at least found some amount of closure in the end, and buried the hatchet with her former rival. Judging from the fact that she had yet to be arrested and brought to trial for the aggressive usurpation of a small town, a certain somepony must have pulled a few strings. Trixie clearly wasn't the only pony to want to put the past to rest.

At the very least, Trixie tried to learn from her mistakes. With her sanity and sense back properly from wherever that horrible amulet had sequestered it, she had returned to the stage. It had not been easy. Her name was still a joke among many ponies, but she persevered. She struggled. She did everything she could to win the crowd back. When she wasn't performing, she was practicing new and amazing acts. This time she wouldn't rely on empty boasts and false claims. She had enough skill to stand on, and she would stand tall.

There had been hecklers, of course, and there always would be. Curiously, for once some of her bad reputation worked in her favor; more than a few times a troublemaker had backed down when they realized they were hassling "The Tyrant of Ponyville". Although Trixie would very much prefer that they didn’t. It was not a title she was proud of.

Now? Her show was finally starting to develop some recognition as ponies were phasing out "Trixie the Failure" in favor of "Trixie the Fairly Good Magician". Not nearly the level of fame she was aiming for, but getting there. She was making well enough money to support her frugal lifestyle. She could travel anywhere she liked, perform in any town. One week in Canterlot, the next in Manehattan. Maybe next she'd go to Baltimare, or Detrot, or Appleloosa.

Or maybe Ponyville. She wondered what that pony would say if Trixie returned. Would she be angry? Would she be afraid? Or would she be happy?

Actually, Canterlot was beginning to wear out its welcome. She'd exhausted most of the cheaper forms of entertainment: the scenic parks, the museums, the libraries (in case some of the books held some exciting kinds of magic she didn't know yet). She'd done plenty of window shopping in the fine shopping districts until the clerks realized she wasn't buying anything and chased her out. There were of course plenty of places to go for fun if you had the bits, but Trixie was saving up for important things. Besides, last time Trixie had gone clubbing things had ended up badly. That probably wouldn't happen if she went to the opera or some other upscale locale, but she couldn't stand the snooty elite crowd. And they charged even more.

So Trixie was bored and had no place to go. She had expended a good deal of her magic reserves on the morning performance, so another act was right out, unless she resorted to simple tricks and sleight-of-hoof only. It was too early to go home and sleep, and she had no real inspiration for a new act she could practice on. She was bored. Bored, bored, bored.

She was desperately wishing for some kind of excitement when she collided with a pegasus coming the other way at high speed, and collapsed in a pile of flailing limbs.

"Oops, my bad," the pegasus said, disentangling herself and helping Trixie back on her hooves. "I guess I wasn't looking where I was going!"

Trixie could certainly tell why that was so; the blonde pony's left eye was aimed left and down at a storm drain, while the other was pointed right and skyward. Clearly she had a huge blind spot right in front of her. Still, Trixie tried to be a little nicer to other ponies these days (as long as they weren't heckling her) and she certainly didn't have the heart to mock a disabled pony. "Trixie forgives you," she said gregariously. "After all, nopony was hurt."

"Oh, thank you!" the pegasus exclaimed with a huge smile. Her mouth suddenly formed an 'o' and her eyes momentarily snapped into focus, before rolling aside again. "Wait! You're the Great and Powerful Trixie? I have a letter for you!"

"You have?" Trixie asked with surprise (and a sudden burst of happiness at hearing somepony use her full title). "But Trixie doesn't have a mailing address."

"I have! See?" The pegasus fished out an oblong piece of paper from her saddle bag, which Trixie now noticed carried the emblem of the Equestria Mail Service. "'The. Trixie, Great and Powerful, Corner of Starswirl Avenue and Puddinghead Lane, Canterlot'. Right there."

Trixie took the letter in her magic and checked the address, which was exactly what the curious mailmare had said. With a sinking feeling in her gut, she glanced at the nearby street signs. Sure enough, she was on Starswirl Avenue. And intersecting was Puddinghead Lane. "But Trixie doesn't actually live here!" she protested.

"Can't help you there, Miss Great and Powerful," the mailmare said blithely. "I just deliver the mail to the name and address submitted. And this looks to be your letter, so..."

"Fair enough," Trixie conceded. The pony looked far too sincere to be playing a trick on her. "Is Trixie supposed to tip you now?"

"No, I'm a governmentally salaried worker," the pegasus said. She paused a moment and added, "I'll take any muffins you'd like to offer, though."

"Sorry, Trixie is all out of muffins."

"Aww…” The blonde pony looked crestfallen for a moment. “Oh well. Bye, Miss Great and Powerful!" The pegasus beat her wings and took off into the sky, soaring unsteadily and bumping into a lamp post on the way. Trixie could only stare in bemusement at the spectacle until the flier vanished among the roof tops.

Trixie's attention turned to the mystery letter. There was no indication of who had sent it. It was stiff, and slim, probably a single piece of paper and nothing else. She had received nasty hate letters in the past, though they had abated of late. After considering the possibilities for a moment, she tore it open to reveal the contents.

It was a single piece of stiff, high-quality paper, with gold leaf decoration and marked with the royal crest of Equestria. The text read:

Dear Trixie Lulamoon,

Your presence is greatly appreciated at the Royal Canterlot Palace this Friday the 24th, 4 p.m. to attend the royal wedding. Please dress appropriately for the occasion.

There was nothing more, not even on the back. Trixie had hoped for answers, but the invitation only raised more questions, and Trixie had been in a state of confusion since the moment the strange-eyed pony had showed up.

To begin with, who would invite Trixie to an exclusive event like this? Despite what some ponies thought, Trixie didn't actually buy her own act entirely. She knew that she was still a nopony among the highest echelons of Canterlot's social circles; as far as she knew, she hadn't made herself visible to anypony with the acumen to get her invited to anything like a royal wedding. The closest thing she could think of was when she had provided some magic fireworks to help that particular pony's little display, and Princess Celestia had shown up for some inexplicable reason. Trixie's magnificent display might possibly have caught her eye then, but she'd expect an offer to perform from something like that, not an invitation to attend as a guest.

The other important question was, whose wedding? Surely Celestia or Luna weren't getting married? They were both incredibly attractive, obviously. Those magnificent wings, long imposing horns, slender limbs, and the power, oh the power... Trixie quickly reined in her excitement before she caused a scene. The problem with the royal sisters was that they were immortal, which tended to cause a few problems when your spouse wasn't. Some stories said they still mourned their old lovers.

There was Princess Mi Amore Cadenza of the Crystal Empire, of course. But she had gotten married half a year ago, and the invitation looked too fresh for it to have been lying around in somepony's mail bag for that long. Unless she had gotten divorced and then remarried. Or something. Trixie wasn't really aware of any other royalty who could be involved, unless you counted some foreign noble from the griffons or minotaurs or something. There was a Prince Bluesomething who had been a hot topic in the magazines for a while, but after some disaster at a big event a few years back, he'd dropped off the social scene completely. Trixie sympathized a bit, seeing as a similar thing had happened to her once.

Of course, why should these things matter to Trixie? She had the invitation, with her name on and everything, which meant that she'd be guaranteed to get in, regardless of the actual ponies involved. She'd get to meet important ponies, enjoy some top-notch party food... she might even have a chance to impress some real big-wigs with her magic, get signed up for some real acts, get into the serious shows... it could be a golden opportunity. And if it was a trap, well, she could always escape. She still had enough magic for some distractions and smoke bombs, probably.

Trixie would have to dip into her funds to afford better clothes, of course. All she had right now was her beloved cloak and hat, which she wore almost all the time. Perhaps put on a few extra performances to raise more money. How many days did she have, anyway? She looked at the invitation again. Four o'clock, Friday the 24th. And today was... Friday, the 24th, one o'clock.

Trixie felt her heart stop for a moment.

"It's today?" she cried. "No, no, no, the wedding cannot be today, Trixie cannot allow it! Trixie won't have time to find a dress!"

"Trixie? Darling, is that you?" a voice said behind her. It was a voice that filled her with dread. "Oh, how exciting!"

As Trixie turned around to see a lavender-maned white unicorn approach, she admitted that she may have been guilty of hyperbole. The Ponyville fashionista was not nearly as terrifying as, say, a rampaging star-bear, or a flight of dragons, or an angry mob throwing rocks and rotten fruit. She was nonetheless not a pony Trixie felt entirely comfortable to see. She put on her best and grandest smile. "What a pleasure, it's Miss..." She wracked her brain for a name. "...Miss Charity of Ponyville."

"That's 'Rarity', darling," the white pony graciously corrected. "But I suppose I can forgive you seeing as how we've never been formally introduced. What brings you to the capital, if I may be so bold as to ask?"

"Well." Trixie puffed out her chest a little. "If you're so interested, Trixie will tell you that she has been entertaining the ponies of Canterlot with her amazing magic for the past week!"

"Why, that's wonderful to hear!" Rarity exclaimed, clapping her hooves against the cobblestones in appreciation. "Twilight said earlier that she hoped you'd be able to get back to your old life, and I agree."

"Really?" Trixie asked, feeling excited all of a sudden. "Twilight Sparkle said that?"

"Oh, yes," Rarity said. "She'll be so happy to hear about your success! You know..." She lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Recently, for a while, I too was deprived of what I wanted to do most of all, and it was the worst possible thing ever. So, for what it's worth, I apologize for the part I played in... all that."

Trixie was surprised by this, to say the least. But Rarity at least seemed contrite. Maybe returning to Ponyville was an option after all? "In that case, Trixie accepts your apology. And... um... Trixie apologizes for ruining your mane."

"Oh, that was ages ago," Rarity said, waving a hoof dismissively. "Anyway, I could... oh my goodness." Her gaze was no longer on Trixie, but rather on the paper Trixie was still holding, which she had half forgotten about. "Is that an invitation to the royal wedding?"

"Why, yes," Trixie said smugly. "Trixie is very popular in Canterlot, so naturally she gets invited to all the big events.” She winced inwards as she realized that she had once again lied in an attempt to impress. Old instincts were hard to get rid of. “Are... you going as well?" she added, when Rarity brought out a nearly identical invitation.

"It was a real surprise when it showed up," Rarity said. "So what will you be wearing?"

"Ah." Trixie blanched. She had managed to forget that little issue when the mare had surprised her. "Um. Trixie was thinking of going as she is. Make a statement, as it were."

Rarity's face paled. Or it would have, had she been more colorful to begin with. "Oh, no. Trixie, no. You simply cannot wear that outfit to a wedding!"

Trixie's eyes narrowed in clear hostility. "Are you insulting Trixie's clothes?"

"No, Trixie, your outfit actually looks good when you're performing," Rarity said, just a little nervously. "Certainly better than that grey cloak you wore earlier. Seriously. That horrid thing, with your colors?" She snorted derisively. "All the more reason to be glad we're rid of that stupid amulet. Corrupts your mind and your fashion sense? Keep it far away from me! Anyway, this is a really important event, so you really need to wear something special. You don't want to humiliate yourself by coming in underdressed, do you?"

"Of course not! But..." Trixie hesitated. This would hurt to admit. "But... unfortunately Trixie has... all her best dresses were lost! When she moved here from Manehattan!"

"Really?" Rarity said, sounding not entirely convinced.

"Yes, apparently the luggage with all Trixie’s fine dresses was put on another train for some reason," Trixie lied. "Never saw them again."

"How dreadful," Rarity said. Trixie didn't think Rarity was buying it at all. "In that case, I'll have to help you. Because I'm not going to attend an event with a fashion emergency going on. To the boutique!"

The boutique looked quite similar to Rarity's own, with the minor exceptions of it being located in Canterlot and not Ponyville, having a different name, and being presided over by an olive-coated, rather metrosexual earth pony stallion. Said stallion was at the moment babbling gossip while styling the mane on a pink-maned pegasus in a fabulous green dress.

"...and that's what she said. I swear, Fleur is an absolute darling, but if she starts an actual trend, she'll put us all out of business... Rarity!" he suddenly cried, seeing the two unicorns enter. "Where have you been? You are so late! We're really going to have to work fast if we're going to get you ready! Who's your friend? And oh my stars, fashion emergency!" The stallion suddenly dashed over to Trixie and started fussing with her cloak. "Girl, what are you wearing? How unstylish! You look like you should be doing magic tricks on a stage or something!"

Trixie's voice could have given a Windigo frostbite. "That happens to be Trixie's chosen profession."

"Oh." He let go of the cloth. "In that case, I guess you're dressing just right. Hmm, yes, the colors look good on you. I'd love to make a few adjustments though, tuck it in a little to better show your curves, you'll have all the stallions after you. And the mares, if you prefer..."

"On the other hoof, she's supposed to attend the wedding with us," Rarity said, snapping the designer out of his inspiration trance. "Haute Couture, Trixie desperately needs your help."

"Trixie wouldn't say she's desperate..." Trixie tried to interject, but she was ignored.

"I understand perfectly," Haute said. "Fluttershy, darling, could I possibly impose on you to help Rarity get ready? We're pressed for time, so..."

"Oh, of course," the pink-maned pegasus said. She fluttered over to Rarity, moving freely despite her dress. She looked at Trixie. "Oh, um... hello again, Miss Trixie."

"Trixie remembers you..." Trixie said, looking Fluttershy up and down. "You're the sneaky one, who managed to get past Trixie's magic barrier somehow."

"Um, yes," Fluttershy said, shying back from Trixie's intense gaze. "I'm sorry about that."

Trixie shook her head. "No, you deserve Trixie's thanks for that. Trixie may have done something truly terrible if she hadn't been freed from that amulet in time."

"Well, in that case..." Fluttershy smiled a little. "As long as you feel better, then."

Dresses started flying out of a nearby storage room, by way of being thrown by Haute Couture. "No. No. Definitely not. Not on her. No. Oh, why did I even make this one? No. Hmm... no." There was a long pause. "Oh, YES!"

Rarity grinned widely. "Haute, do you still have... that one?"

"Sweet serendipity, I do!" Haute cried joyfully from inside. A few seconds later he emerged with a dress on a rack. "Behold!"

The dress was an eye-catching, yet surprisingly tasteful affair. Its colors were lavender and navy blue, with silver trimming and light blue accents. Silvery stars and crescents were placed over the fabric with perfect precision. There was even a matching hat.

Trixie stared at the outfit, mouth agape. She felt underdressed very suddenly. "Trixie... thinks she's experiencing déjà vu."

"Hardly surprising, dear," Rarity said as she was helped into her own dress by Fluttershy. "After all, it was inspired by you, after your first visit."

"Really?" Trixie asked. She could hardly take her eyes off the magnificent dress.

"I'll admit, at first I was just venting my irritation on some perfectly innocent fabric," Rarity explained. "But then I felt inspired. I wanted to make a dress that captured... well, the kind of pony you tried to be."

"Great. Powerful. Magnificent," Trixie mumbled as if in trance. She ran a hoof across the soft fabric, feeling a slight spark of static electricity. She giggled.

"Exactly," Rarity said. She examined her own dress in the mirror. "But I couldn't find a buyer, and then it kept reminding me of, well, you, so I shipped it here in case Haute could find a buyer."

"No such luck," Haute scoffed. "I would not sell a dress that wasn't suited for the wearer, and no such customer presented themselves for this particular one. Until today. So let's put it on, girl!"

"But Trixie can't afford something this nice!" Trixie protested. A second later she realized she'd admitted the shameful truth of her situation, but she didn't care.

"I'm sure we can arrange something," Rarity suggested.

"But..." Trixie began.

Haute suddenly grabbed Trixie's face between his hooves and looked her straight in the eyes. "Look here, girlfriend. I don't care if you're a bean farmer or a stage magician or the princess herself. You are not, I repeat NOT going to make me hang up this dress again now that I've finally found a girl who can wear it properly. Do I make myself CLEAR?"

"...Crystal," Trixie managed to squeak.

"Excellent." He rubbed his hooves together. "Now let's get you suited up, and we'll make adjustments on the fly! Time's a-wasting, girls!"

Trixie stared at her reflection with a sense of wonder. She looked amazing. She FELT amazing. The dress – her dress – fit like a sock. Haute Couture had hardly needed to make any adjustments at all; it was as though it had been made just for her. Which, in a roundabout way, it apparently had been.

The dress was only the beginning, of course. Haute and his two allies had styled her mane perfectly, touched up her face with just the slightest dash of makeup to bring out her natural beauty, and even picked out matching jewelry. A set of silver shoes hugged her hooves, and the hat completed the ensemble. The result was stunning. Had Trixie been only slightly more narcissistic, she would have fallen in love with her own reflection.

"I... Trixie looks beautiful." She turned to the trio behind her. Rarity and Haute grinned with satisfaction over a job well done, while Fluttershy looked beatific as usual. Rarity and Fluttershy were done up just as nicely as herself, but Trixie found that she just couldn't be envious, not when she looked this good. She found herself forced to reevaluate her opinion of the unicorn fashionista; surely nopony who wished her ill would go this far to make her look good? "Thank you. Thank you, everypony."

"Was there ever any doubt?" Rarity said with a wink, echoing one of Trixie's favorite lines. "Haute, we'll settle the bill for this at a later time, yes? Excellent job as usual, dear."

"Of course, girlfriend." Haute rolled his eyes. "It's really going to cost you, though. Now, I think your chariot is waiting, so hurry!"

"Chariot?" Trixie asked.

"But of course!" Rarity said with a tone of exaggerated disbelief. "Did you think we'd walk to the castle in these outfits?"

The following trip was one Trixie would remember for a long time. It wasn't just any old chariot, but a royal one, pulled by two actual pegasus guards. Waiting for just them, to bring them to the castle. As they soared along the streets, everypony – the well-to-do and the commoners alike – turned to look. And though a timid soul like Fluttershy hid from everypony's eyes, Trixie, the veterate stage pony, soaked it all up, basking in the attention. She was beautiful, she was important, and everypony knew it.

The feeling abated when they arrived at the castle grounds, and was replaced with trepidation. Somehow, neither Rarity nor even Fluttershy shared this feeling; they walked past the magnificent sights of the royal castle as though it may have been their own backyard, and the stalwart guards had been so much empty air. Once again Trixie wondered about these curious ponies, and rushed to keep up.

The uncanny duo led Trixie down hallways that Trixie had only seen as part of a carefully regulated tour group (with strict instructions not to touch or steal anything, which Trixie always felt as though it was directed at her), until they reached a small chapel. It was... underwhelming, at least compared to Trixie's expectations. It looked barely large enough to hold more than a few dozen guests, and surely a royal wedding would have hundreds of attendees? It was obviously set up for some kind of event, though, with rows of pews and a large lectern placed below a stained glass window depicting the union of the Founders of Equestria. Faint organ music was coming from somewhere nearby.

There was also a clear absence of guests. The only pony other than themselves was... oh no... that rainbow-maned bully from Ponyville, who was flitting around near the lectern, chatting with the dragon lizard kid who had been so mouthy during her first Ponyville visit. They waved. Rarity and Fluttershy headed for their friends, while Trixie reluctantly followed. She took some satisfaction in the fact that the obnoxious pegasus wasn't nearly as well-dressed as herself, although she had clearly made some kind of effort. The dragon looked absurdly overdressed, in a vest, suit jacket, and top hat, and he scowled at Trixie.

"Hey, check it out, it's Trixie!" the pegasus crooned. She raised a hoof toward Trixie, who flinched. "Hey, whoa, chill! I'm not gonna hassle you on a day like this." She chuckled. "But I'm totally gonna get you back someday, and it'll be sweet. Not today, though." She nudged Fluttershy playfully. "Guess you had to pick up a stray, huh?"

"Trixie doesn't like you," Trixie muttered frostily.

Rainbow snorted. "Your loss. I'm awesome."

"Actually, Rainbow Dash," Rarity interjected, "Trixie had her own invitation. I was so surprised!"

"Awesome!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "Can't wait to see the look on Twilight's face!"

“I can’t believe this,” the dragon muttered.

“Now, Spike, you promised to behave,” Rarity chided. She rubbed his head affectionately, though it seemed to do little to improve his mood. “I know you don’t like Trixie, but as long as she behaves, I expect you to be every part the gentledragon.” Spike muttered something that sounded unhappy, but nodded.

"Um, girls?" Fluttershy said. "We should probably take our places. The ceremony will begin any moment."

"Really?" Trixie looked around in bewilderment. "Shouldn't there be more guests? Trixie thinks this is odd."

"Oh, there’s nothing to worry about," Rarity said. She and Fluttershy shuffled off to the left side, while Rainbow Dash landed and headed over to the right side, taking Spike with her. Trixie made an attempt to follow Rarity, but was nudged back. "No, no, you stay where you are, it'll be fine."

"In the middle of the aisle?" Trixie asked. "Won't Trixie be in the way?"

"You'll be fine," Rarity reassured her. "You're the guest of honor, so you deserve the best position, after all."

"That's true," Trixie said, not at all certain. Something was beginning to feel very, very wrong, although the entire event was bafflingly odd in itself. Trixie was still too curious about it to just leave, but she made sure she had her escape plan ready.

The organ increased in volume, starting a classic wedding march. And over the music, Trixie could hear the faint voice of an approaching guest. "...tell me what's going on, Applejack? Who's getting married? Why didn't you tell me about this earlier? If I had been informed, I wouldn't have had to cancel all my plans. And where's Spike?"

Trixie turned her head slightly and caught a glimpse of two ponies entering the room at the far end. An orange pony in some kind of rodeo outfit, and... her. Twilight Sparkle. In a lovely blue dress that for some inexplicable reason included a pair of false wings. Trixie's heart beat faster at the sight of her onetime nemesis, and she started to sweat heavily. Trixie had expected Sparkle to show up, of course, but seeing her actual self…

The latest arrivals made their way down the aisle, Twilight still agitated at her friend's unwillingness to reveal anything. Applejack joined Rainbow Dash on the side, while Twilight was stranded in the aisle. Right next to Trixie.

"Seriously, girls, what is this?" Twilight complained. "Why am I invited to a wedding when nopony will tell me who's actually getting married? Spike? Pinkie, do you—" Twilight boggled as she realized just who she was standing next to. "Trixie?!"

"Um, hello, Sparkle," Trixie said with a forced smile.

"Trixie, what are you—" Twilight began, when she was cut off be a deafening chord from the organ. On cue, Pinkie Pie – as pink and frizzly-maned as usual – burst out from behind the lectern. Unlike the other ponies, Pinkie wasn't wearing a dress, but instead a black coat with a white collar.

"Dearly beloved!" Pinkie announced loudly. "Friends, ponies, Equestrians! We have gathered here today, under Celestia's blessed sun, to bear witness to a most joyous occasion, for today our beloved princess Twilight Sparkle will join her beloved Trixie in beloved matrimony!"

"Wait, what?!?" Twilight cried. She whirled around and stared at Trixie, who looked back with no more comprehension.

"Marriage is a sacred institution," Pinkie rambled on. "Why, the very foundation of Equestria is founded on the union of disparate souls, and..."

"Oh, I always cry at weddings," Rarity said, dabbing a lace hoofkerchief to her eyes. "They look so nice together, don't they?"

"Oh my gosh, this is priceless," Rainbow Dash chortled. Pinkie was still plodding through her speech.

"What's going on?" Twilight asked, staring in disbelief at everypony in turn. "Is this some kind of joke?" She turned to Trixie, with fire and fury in her eyes. Magic gathered around her horn. "Trixie..."

If Trixie had been nervous about seeing Twilight before, she was now terrified. And maybe a little bit turned on. Instinctively she reached for a spell to help her flee... and realized that her magic reserves were too low to do anything. Still, running was always an option. Maybe if she could distract Twilight, she'd have enough of a head start...

Trixie was unexpectedly saved by Rarity, who placed a calming hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Actually, Trixie's innocent this time. This was, ah, our idea, really." She had the good grace to look ashamed, at least.

"You girls are behind this?" Twilight stared at them in disbelief, and then gasped. "Oh, Trixie! I'm so sorry!"

"Um, you're forgiven?" Trixie said. She was too relieved that the terrifying pony wouldn't actually unleash her full magical might on Trixie's poor blue hide to consider taking advantage of the situation.

"And you girls..." Twilight facehoofed. "What? Seriously, what? Stage a wedding, of all things? What were you thinking?"

"Well, I admit that we may not have thought this through completely," Rarity said. She scuffed her hoof distractedly. "I suppose it might all seem a bit in bad taste.”

"Ah toldja so," Applejack muttered. "But nopony ever listen ta AJ."

"Talk for yourselves," Rainbow said with a big grin. "I personally thought it was hilarious." She nudged Applejack. "'Sides, we all went along with this, so you can't talk.”

“Sorry, Twilight,” Spike said, twirling his claws nervously. “I tried to talk them out of it, I really tried. I said that this is incredibly stupid and rude to you, but they just wouldn’t listen.”

"You knew?" Twilight asked, looking distraught and betrayed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I convinced him not to," Rarity said, looking a little bashful. "Really, we only wanted to have a little fun."

"...until the word 'Maudlin' is almost completely obscured," Pinkie Pie finished, suddenly drawing everypony's attention. "Now! Do you, Princess Twilight Sparkle, take Trixie 'The Great and Powerful' Lulamoon to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"What? No!" Twilight cried in panic. "Stop that!"

"Aww," Pinkie said, looking disappointed. "But you look so nice together."

"Uh, no we don't," Twilight protested. She was feeling the approach of another Pinkie headache. "Don't be silly, Pinkie."

"But you talk about her all the time!" Pinkie said. She started to count on her hooves. "About those magic tricks Trixie did, and is Trixie going to come back to Ponyville anytime, and where did Trixie learn her magic, and is Trixie's magician outfit traditional or her own design?" She then fell to the ground, having used up all her hooves.

"You do?" Trixie asked, baffled. This was all incredibly confusing. She wondered if she'd prefer if these ponies just hated her like before; at least that was something she could comprehend.

"Um... may...be?" She was beginning to look nervous. "So what? Do you know how few unicorns I know who actually do anything special with their magic? Maybe I just want a friend who is interested in magic for its own sake? No offense, Rarity."

"None taken, darling," Rarity said sweetly. "But consider how she feels about you. Trixie spent, what, a whole year to gather the resources to confront you again? She'd hardly do that if she didn't think very much of you."

"Yes," Twilight said slowly. "Because she hated me. You were there, remember?"

"Um," Trixie said.

"Indeed. And then we got rid of that tacky amulet, and she became sane again, and she apologized for everything." Rarity grinned like a gambler about to reveal four aces. "So she clearly doesn't hate you anymore. But oh, feelings just don't vanish into thin air, do they? Since you've made nice, I'm willing to believe that dear Trixie has all sorts of nice feelings about you, Twilight."

"Actually..." Trixie began.

"Maybe!" Twilight yelled. "But even if she likes me in any way doesn't mean you can just mess around with her! How do you think she feels, with you lying and tricking her into this stupid prank?"

"Sparkle!" Trixie yelled. All eyes turned to her. "Trixie appreciates that you're standing up for her, but she is hardly a little filly. Furthermore, Trixie has been enjoying herself greatly thanks to your friends."

"You have?" Twilight asked in an incredulous tone.

Trixie rubbed the hem of her dress affectionately. "Trixie has been dressed and styled and made to look pretty. And Rarity and Fluttershy have been treating Trixie far nicer than she expected to be treated. For once Trixie felt like she was... special."

Fluttershy wrapped Trixie into a soft hug. "Oh, Trixie. Of course you're special. Maybe you've been a bit of a jerk those times, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve to be treated properly."

“Ugh,” Spike groaned. Rarity put a hoof on his shoulder and shook her head disapprovingly. Spike rolled his eyes but decided to stay quiet for the time.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Oh, fair enough, Trixie. We'll let them have their fun, nopony gets to feel hurt, and then we'll move on to the inevitable party."

"Oh, you bet it's going to be all kinds of inevitable!" Pinkie gushed. "Whatever that means. So..."

"Ugh. You're going to make us go through each step, aren't you?" Twilight rubbed her head. Yes indeed, the Pinkie headache was still there, biding its time.

"Of course!" Pinkie laughed. "I almost never get to wear this outfit! Ahem. Do you, Princess Twilight Sparkle, take the Great and Powerful Trixie to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Twilight nodded. "Sure."

"And do you, the Great and Powerful Trixie, take Princess Twilight Sparkle as your lawfully wedded wife?" Pinkie continued.

Trixie smiled and puffed herself up. "The Great and Powerful Trixie vows to take her rival and love, Twilight Sparkle, for her own, to love and hold her, in sickness and in health, 'til death do us part," she said.

Applejack chuckled. "Showoff." Trixie just smirked.

"All right!" Pinkie said giddily. "Now, if anypony objects to these ponies being joined together, speak now or forever hold your peace." She tapped her hoof for a few seconds. "This is usually when the romantic lead runs in and interrupts everything."

"Trixie is pretty sure we don't have one of those," Trixie said. She looked furtively around anyway. With these ponies, you never really knew. "What's next?"

"No objections?" Pinkie asked. "Then by the powers invested in me, I pronounce you wife and... other wife. You may kiss the bride."

Pause.

"Uh, kiss?" Twilight asked.

"It is traditional," Rarity said. She was looking quite excited for some reason. Fluttershy was blushing deep red, as you would assume. As did Rainbow Dash, which was less expected. Spike, having evidently decided that he wanted no more part of this, tried to pull his hat over his head.

"Well, come on then," Applejack said, looking fairly unperturbed compared to the rest of their friends. "Just smooch 'er and we can be done with this nonsense."

Twilight turned to see what her unexpected wife thought about this. "Trixie, I—"

Whatever she was going to say was lost as Trixie took hold of her and kissed her right on the lips.

"Or you can just let Trixie do the job, since she seems to know," Applejack said. "Whoa Nelly."

"Nelly indeed," Rarity said. She felt herself heating up a little just from the sight. Trixie was evidently getting as much out of the occasion as possible, while Twilight seemed to have gone into mild shock. "Girls, save some for later."

“Ugh, gross!” Spike made an exaggerated gagging display.

“What’s the matter, Spikey dear?” Rarity asked, impishly. “Does a little kissing bother you?”

“Yeah… no… but…” He gestured at the couple. “Twilight’s like my sister or… mom, or something! And Trixie’s… Trixie!”

“I don’t know, they seem to enjoy themselves,” Rarity said. She suddenly bent down and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, causing him to turn bright red. “And you don’t seem to mind getting kissed yourself, dearie.”

“Ah… hehehe… maybe not...” he chuckled in embarrassment.

Finally, after several intense seconds, Trixie broke off and allowed Twilight to regain her senses. She licked her lips. "Mmm, nice."

Twilight slowly rubbed her face with one hoof, smearing it with Trixie's blue lipstick. She couldn't stop grinning for some reason. "What happened...?"

"Just a little sample of the exclusive Trixie experience," Trixie said, beaming imperiously. "And no, you can't buy that kind of experience for money, because Trixie is not that kind of showpony." She tapped her hoof on Twilight's chest. "Such a pity you're not actually married to the Great and Powerful Trixie, or you might convince her to give you another."

Twilight giggled as she tried to get up. Somehow she'd lost all strength in her legs for the moment. "Yeah, a real pity this wedding wasn't legal. We'd need a real minister to do that, though."

"What, I'm not good enough for you?" Pinkie Pie said. She snorted disdainfully. "I'm insulted!"

Twilight shook her head. "I know you like to dress up, Pinkie, but putting on a white collar doesn't actually make you an ordained minister."

"Oh, I know that, silly filly," Pinkie said blithely. "That's what my diploma is for."

Trixie suddenly felt a shiver down her spine. "...what diploma?"

"My diploma saying I'm an ordained minister, of course!" Pinkie said.

There was a moment of silence. Then Twilight said, very carefully, "Pinkie. Explain what you're talking about. Now."

"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie sat down and rubbed her chin for a moment, thinking back. "Remember when Mister Cake kinda accidentally put a couple of buns in his marefriend’s oven? Wait, that was before you came to Ponyville. Anyway, they were kinda worried other ponies might get upset that they weren't married, so they wanted to tie the knot and make it look like they had been official all along. First they thought of making a trip to Las Pegasus, but instead they paid for a correspondence course to have me ordained so I could do it for them, because it'd mean fewer witnesses and I promised not to tell anypony. ...which I just did. Oops! Good thing it was just a regular promise..." she added, looking frightened very suddenly.

“Hooves up, anypony who saw this coming,” Spike muttered. “No plan survives contact with Pinkie Pie.”

"Oh my goodness!" Rarity cried. "Do you mean the Cakes had their kids out of wedlock? Oh, this is gossip gold!"

"That's what you got out of this?" Twilight said in disbelief. "This means that... that..."

"That you and Trixie are actually married for real?" Fluttershy suggested.

"No, no, no, no, no," Trixie protested over and over, shaking her head all the while. "This can't be happening. It can't be! Trixie has a career, she can't get tied down! Not to you!"

"What's that supposed to mean, huh?" Rainbow Dash took to the air and flew at Trixie, who shied away. "Something wrong with Twilight, huh? She's not good enough for you? You didn't mind doing some tongue jousting with her a minute ago!"

"It's Trixie's fault now?" Trixie said, her voice full of anger and disbelief. "This is just like that Ursa thing! Everypony blames Trixie for things that aren't her fault! Nopony likes Trixie, nopony cares what happens to Trixie, Trixie is the perfect scapegoat!"

"Now hold on, girl, no need to tear up old wounds..." Applejack began.

"Shut up!" Trixie cried. "Shut up! Trixie hates you all! Trixie thought you liked her! Leave Trixie alone!" A cloud of smoke burst around her, and when it dissipated a few seconds later, she was gone without a trace.

The restrained sobbing coming from behind the lectern was a good clue, though.

"Well, this is quite a mess," Rarity said.

"Oh, you haven't seen anything yet," Rainbow Dash said, stalking up to the lectern. "Trixie, you're gonna come out of there or WHOA!" A raspberry aura had sprung up around her and dragged her back.

"That's enough of that," Twilight said, dropping Rainbow on the floor. "Get out, now. In fact, I want all of you to step outside for a while." Rainbow started to speak, but a stern look from Twilight silenced her. Cowed, the five mares left the room.

“Uh…” Spike began.

“Yes, that means you too,” Twilight said.

“I knew this would go bad,” he said as he reluctantly walked towards the door. “Just give a shout if… if you need assistance, okay? I only went along with this to help when it all fell apart.”

“Thanks, Spike.” Twilight smiled faintly. “But we’ll need to be alone right now.”

Twilight slumped down in front of the lectern. Sure, she could just have removed it and confronted Trixie directly, but that wouldn't have helped at all. If Trixie wanted to hide, she might as well get to keep her cover. "Trixie? They're gone now."

"...Good." Trixie's voice was still thick with tears. "Hopefully forever."

"You don't mean that, do you?" Twilight said. "You know they weren't meaning to hurt you. Pinkie would never pull a prank that she knew could hurt anypony. I suspect she just forgot about that particular little qualification."

"You have such faith in your friends," Trixie said bitterly. "Forgive Trixie for withholding her enthusiasm."

"Come on, is getting married by accident a big deal for the Great and Powerful Trixie?" Twilight asked, trying to make light of the situation. "We can annul the whole thing in a matter of seconds."

"That's not the point!" Trixie cried from above. Twilight looked upward. Trixie was glaring at her from the top of the lectern, her face full of misery and tears and ruined makeup. "It's... it's... they were nice to Trixie. Trixie had been mean to them before, but they were nice. Rarity gave Trixie a dress, Fluttershy was kind, Pinkie Pie said we could go to a party... you said nice things about Trixie, too. And now it turns out it’s all a big joke and they hate Trixie. Applejack is angry, and Rainbow Dash wants to beat Trixie."

"Trixie... you know that's not true. They're not angry, they don't hate you, and Rainbow may act big and tough, but she'd never hurt a defenseless pony." Twilight gently lifted Trixie down and started mopping up her tears with a tissue. "I know Rarity gave you that dress because she wanted you to look good. Which you really do," she added. "Fluttershy is the kindest pony I've ever known. And Pinkie just wants everypony to have fun and be happy, and that includes you. And I really am happy to see you." Twilight put down the tissue and admired her work. Trixie looked quite a bit better once the tears and the runny makeup were gone. The natural look was better on her, Twilight thought.

"Was it true what Pinkie said?" Trixie asked. "About you talking a lot about Trixie?"

"Maybe?" Twilight ventured. "I haven't actually thought about it. You've just kind of... made an impression on me. I've wanted to see more of you, but you're hard to track down. Although my friends seem to have done better, apparently."

"Trixie was considering returning to Ponyville someday," Trixie said. "No stupid tricks or revenge plots or anything. Just show everypony who Trixie the traveling magician really is and what she can do."

Twilight smiled. "I would like that. We could start over fresh."

"Yeah..." Trixie said. A long silence descended. Both ponies just sat and thought, staring at their hooves or the room's decoration, not looking at each other. "You're a good kisser, Twilight."

"I am?" Twilight felt her cheeks heat up. "I don't know... it was my first."

Trixie blinked in surprise. "Really? A pretty mare like you doesn't get kissed all the time? Trixie finds that very surprising."

"No, really," Twilight said. "I'm not very social. Not like an out and about pony like you."

"Pfft. Like anypony would want to be with an unliked and plain pony like Trixie," Trixie scoffed.

"What?" Twilight said. "I can sort of understand the first bit, what with your bad reputation, but you're..." Twilight felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment. "You're really beautiful."

"Twilight, do you..." Trixie began, but Twilight interrupted her.

"You know," Twilight said, "last time you kind of caught me by surprise. Would you mind if I... if I kissed you again?"

Trixie smiled happily and nodded.

This time, Twilight was prepared for the whole thing and could better appreciate the experience when her lips met Trixie's. It still caught her off guard a bit. For one thing, there was the soft, giving feeling of the lips. Somehow this felt more exhilarating than the act of touching a rubbery body part should have been. Then there was the taste. Trixie's mouth tasted just faintly sweet and salty, and there was a slight feeling of electricity, a sensation she usually associated with casting spells. Was this sensation because Trixie was a magically gifted unicorn, like herself? All she knew was that she loved it.

And then there was the feeling of intimacy, much like how she felt when she was with her friends yet... different. Special. Exclusive. She just wanted the feeling to go on for as long as possible; she couldn't bear to break contact. Her hooves instinctively wrapped themselves around the other pony, and she could feel Trixie doing the same, rubbing her hooves along Twilight's sides and sending unfamiliar but exciting signals up her spine. Her wings flared open, the eternal pegasus instinct to take flight at the first sign of excitement.

Twilight wasn't sure how long it was before they finally let each other go to get some air. Probably a few minutes, though Twilight thought it might have lasted hours. "Wow," was all she managed to say. She was too exhausted to do anything but lie on the carpet and breathe.

"Trixie stands corrected," Trixie said. She was grinning and running her hoof gently across Twilight's barrel. "Twilight Sparkle is a great kisser."

"I have a great teacher," Twilight said. They both laughed. "Feeling better, Trixie?"

"...Yes," Trixie said after some consideration. "It's hard for Trixie to stay mad at your friends after that. Trixie was a bit foalish, wasn't she?"

"No, I think you had reason to be upset," Twilight said. "It's easy to forget that you're lonely. The girls and I know where our limits are, but..."

"Trixie isn't feeling very lonely right now." She nuzzled Twilight's neck affectionately.

Twilight relaxed, enjoying the unusual but very enjoyable sensation of having another pony close. An idea occurred to her. A really crazy idea that felt very exciting all of a sudden. "You know, we don't have to annul the marriage right away."

"What?" Trixie sat up, giving Twilight a questioning look. "You mean... stay married? Stay together?"

"I'd like that." Twilight hugged Trixie close. "I want to get to know you really well, Trixie, and... see where we can go with this."

"Hmm..." Trixie considered it, but shook her head. "No, it wouldn't work. Trixie loves being with you, but how could we be together when Trixie travels as a magician while you stay in Ponyville?"

"You could move to Ponyville," Twilight suggested. "Be our local stage magician, put on performances every night. Live with me."

"But Trixie likes to go to new places," Trixie protested. "Keeps everything exciting, and Trixie's act never gets stale."

"We'll just have to keep improving your act then," Twilight said. "I'm sure we can find all sorts of exciting spells and tricks to keep it from getting stale. I wouldn't mind doing some... magical research with you."

"Well..." Trixie smiled impishly. "Oh, what the hay. Let's give married life a try. Trixie supposes she won't be bored in a long time, will she?"

"Life in Ponyville is never boring, Trixie. This will be so much fun!" Twilight exclaimed, clapping her hooves.

Trixie ran a hoof along Twilight's back. "You know, married ponies do more things besides kiss..."

"Oh?" Twilight made an 'o' face as realization sank in. "Ooh!" Her wings flared open again.

"Stop that!" Trixie poked the offending appendage in irritation. "Trixie is trying to be serious here, you know. It was fun at first, but Trixie is getting very tired of you playing with your fake wings all the time. Your gorgeousness will only avail you so much, Twilight."

Twilight looked confused. "What do you mean, 'fake'?"

The others chose a rather opportune moment to decide to return, as they walked in just in time to see Trixie busily trying to pull off Twilight's dress and fondle her wings.

"Well, looks like some ponies are feeling better," Applejack observed. "You gals need more time to yourselves?"

"Trixie doesn't believe it! You're an alicorn now?" The blue unicorn had successfully pinned her lawfully married wife to the floor and was rubbing her muzzle against the feathery wings, causing Twilight to feel both aroused and uncomfortable at the same time. "Mmm. This will change things."

"You're seriously saying that you missed my coronation and everything?" Twilight yelled. "It was in every newspaper!"

"Oh dear," Fluttershy said. "Should I get a bucket of water?"

"Whatever for?" Rarity asked.

"Oh, it's perfect for dogs and other animals when they get excited," Fluttershy said, blushing a little.

"Trixie only reads important news, such as events involving Trixie," Trixie explained. "Oh, hi girls. And Spike."

Twilight finally dislodged Trixie with her magic. She got up and gave Trixie a peck on the cheek before setting her down again. "Hi, everyone. We're feeling much better now. And we've decided to..." She giggled nervously. "...to stay together."

“What?” Spike said, looking exasperated. “Seriously? Seriously? You’re… she… aaargh!” He started banging his head against the floor until Applejack stopped him.

"Oh, that's so sweet," Fluttershy said. "You two look so cute together when you're not fighting."

Pinkie emptied a bag of confetti over Trixie. "This is great! I get to do a wedding party, a 'Welcome to Ponyville' party, a 'Congratulations For Not Being A Big Meanie-Pants Anymore' party..."

"Actually, Trixie has some reservations now," Trixie said. "Marriage may not be such a good idea after all."

Twilight facehoofed again. "Trixie, what are you going on about this time? I swear, between you and Pinkie..."

"Well, you're an alicorn princess," Trixie pointed out. "So you're probably going to act as though you're superior to Trixie, and that is hardly a good basis for an equitable relationship."

"Uh, hate to tell you," Rainbow said, "but being a princess makes her a pretty big deal. She's way out of your league, really."

"Nonsense!" Trixie scoffed. "There's, what, a whole four princesses in Equestria now? They're practically everywhere. Whereas there is only one Trixie. Simple mathematics establishes that Trixie is several orders of magnitude more important." She puffed herself up vainly. "But Trixie is willing to rein in her greatness and humble herself if it can make this relationship work."

"You're pulling my leg," Twilight said flatly.

"Yes." Trixie sidled up to Twilight. "Now kiss Trixie again, love." Twilight wasted no time to do so.

Applejack shook her head ruefully. "Rainbow, did you ever ask your parents if they had another kid?"

"Don't even joke about that," Rainbow Dash said. She shuddered all over. "So are we gonna have a party today or what?"

"Ooh, wedding party!" Pinkie cried. "Actually, we should move it to Ponyville now that all of us will live there! And we can have Trixie's welcome party at the same time! And Twilight can have her wedding night in the comfort of her own home!"

“Oh, great,” Spike groaned. “There goes my peace and quiet. And no way in Tartarus am I gonna sleep in the same room as them. Maybe I can soundproof the basement.”

“Don’t be a huffy dragon, Spike,” Pinkie said, patting him on the head. “Look on the bright side, you’re getting another mom!”

“Erk!” Trixie said, unpleasantly surprised. “Hold on a moment, Trixie isn’t that eager to be a mother! Or eager at all, really!” At this reaction, even Spike couldn’t help but laugh.

“Don’t worry,” Twilight said, hugging Trixie with one wing. “He’s more like a brother. An obnoxious little brother you still just have to love.” She suddenly realized something. "Oh, Shiny and Cadence are going to be so upset when they hear they missed my wedding."

"Who are they?" Trixie asked. "More of your friends?"

"My brother and sister-in-law," Twilight said. She sighed. "I was so angry the time when I found out he was getting married without telling me. And now I've done the same thing. He'll probably think I'm snubbing him on purpose or something."

"Then have another wedding!" Pinkie suggested. "A big one, with lots of guests! And another party! Yay, more parties! Now I wanna get hitched too!"

"That's a wonderful idea!" Rarity said. "The first one, that is. No offense, Pinkie dear, but I dread to consider what will happen to Equestria when you find your soul mate."

"None taken!" Pinkie said cheerfully.

"Great idea!" Twilight said. "We'll invite my parents, Shiny and Cadence…” She smiled wickedly. “Oh, I know just how I’ll tell them. And there’s the princesses, and all our friends in Ponyville... what do you think, Trixie? We'll invite your family too, of course."

Trixie shook her head. "You really don't want to do that. They're horrid, unpleasant ponies. The less Trixie has to deal with them, the better. Jerks, the bunch of them."

"Somepony rotten even by your standards, Trixie?" Rainbow Dash said with a smirk. "No offense, but I find that hard to believe."

Trixie rolled her eyes. "'No offense', but you look like you were assaulted by a legion of foals with hoof paint kits, Rainbow Dash."

“Oh, that is so a challenge,” Rainbow Dash said, grinning even wider. “Don’t believe for a second I’m gonna back down from that.”

“Yeah, yeah, yer competitive, we all know that,” Applejack said, interrupting the fight in the making. “Seriously, Twi, you sure ya wanna go along with this? Ya could jus’ date her, ya don’t have ta bring legal matters into it ‘til yer certain.”

“Hmm…” Twilight looked Trixie up and down, and grinned. “...nah. Sorry, but I’m taking the chance. And I kind of like the idea of having her completely to myself.”

“Trixie is as exclusive as anything you can get,” Trixie said. She nuzzled Twilight against her neck, sighing happily. “Besides, deciding to hate Twilight was one of the stupidest things Trixie ever did. Loving her feels much better.”

“Yer both crazy.” Applejack chuckled. “Well, maybe ya can make it work anyway.”

"Hmm… on second thought, Trixie should maybe inform her cousins," Trixie continued. "They were always so proud of having married important business ponies and pillars of community, and loved to tell Trixie that she would never find anypony and that Trixie would be alone for all her life." She nuzzled Twilight again and hugged her close, beaming with pride. "Trixie can just imagine the looks on their faces when they see what she's got. We’ll have to put our pictures in every paper. Ooh, and Trixie needs a nice, expensive wedding ring, just in case. Everypony should know that Trixie caught only the very best."

Twilight gave her a skeptical look. "You're not going to be a gold digger now, are you?"

Trixie put on a mock offended face. "Oh please. Trixie hasn't been digging for gold since she left the rock farm." She grinned. "But seriously, Trixie isn't that high in maintenance. All she wants in life is a stage to stand on, a pretty mare to keep her bed warm, and..." She leaned in and whispered something in Twilight's ear. Twilight's wings immediately sprang up again.

"Good gracious," Applejack muttered. "Let's just get you lovebirds home before Fluttershy has ta get her bucket, yeah?"

Dear diary,

A famous writer once said, "The best laid plans of mice and ponies often go astray". Sometimes you think you have a great idea, only for things to go wrong. The important thing, then, is to make the best of the situation. As long as nopony is hurt and you remember that you're friends, everything will be fine.

And sometimes, a plan gone astray can have some wonderful results you'd never have thought of in the first place. Sometimes you just have to take the chance.

-Twilight Sparkle

Far to the north, in the frozen realm on the border of Equestria, lies the Crystal Empire. An oasis of warmth and hope in the cold. Populated by the magnificent crystal ponies, and ruled over by the lovely Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and her husband, Shining Armor. Together they safeguard the Empire and oversee its many day to day matters. Including a lot of paperwork.

"Hey, we have a letter from Twily!"

"Oh, that's wonderful. What's it say?"

"Knowing her, it's probably about the Equestrian Games. Hold on, let me open it."

"..."

"Well, what is it?"

"Cadence?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Pack your bags. We're getting on the first train to Ponyville."

Author's Note

Believe it or not, but this story was inspired by the Wedding Invitation Trixie Lulamoon Toyset. How I went from "Trixie Lulamoon is invited to the royal wedding!" to "Trixie gets roped into marrying Twilight as part of an elaborate and stupid prank" is a mystery.

Many thanks to Talon and Thorn for prereading and useful feedback.