Rediscovery

by NeverEatTheLemonsAlone

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure
Length: 3969

Life has changed for Twilight Sparkle, and not in a good way. Everything she's ever built her life on is gone, and none of it is ever coming back.

After a failed confrontation with Discord, Twilight Sparkle makes a deal with him to preserve Equestria. To save the land, she abandons her special talent and is forever barred from using magic. Her only shot at living a normal life again is to find something else that makes her special, and realize her hidden dreams as the mask of magic is torn away.
Also, sorry about the lack of tags. I don't really know where I'm going with this yet, so I'm just going to try to hit the ground running, or should I say galloping.

Cover art coming soon!

And finally, at the risk of sounding cliched and just annoying in general, rate, comment, favorite!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-05 09:49:06 UTC

Prologue - To Dance With The Devil

Rediscovery – By Cstgeorge

Prologue – To Dance With The Devil

Twilight moaned, utterly stricken and beaten to the ground. Defeat. Pure, utter defeat. The monstrous draconequus loomed over her, cackling wickedly and gleefully at her pain. She looked about wildly for her friends. Nothing. There was nopony there to help her.

Discord leaned down at her menacingly, his face split with an insane smile. “Awwwww, wooks wike widdle Twiwight needs to take a widdle nap…!” he cooed. His eyes suddenly narrowed and his expression turned to that of hatred as he whispered out a word menacingly. “…Forever…”

The unicorn mare struggled to get to her hooves, but with a quick snap of the claws looming above her, the ground beneath her quaked horribly and she tumbled to the ground again. Discord yanked at his head, popping it off and letting it roll to Twilight’s ear, where it sat with disconcerting calmness.

“You know, Twi-Twi,” —Twilight grimaced, despite the circumstances— “If you would just let go of that stubborn pride, I might be willing to cut you…How shall I say it?...A deal.”

Twilight simply stared at him, obvious distrust in her eyes. Well, you couldn’t really blame her, could you? Last time they made any sort of deal, her friends had gone full loony on her and nearly plunged Equestria into eternal chaos.

The disembodied head began to grow the rest of Discord’s body…

…Somehow…

And rolled its yellow-and-red eyes. “Oh, come now, Twilight, in all seriousness, this is a deal with no strings attached. Just give me one itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny little thing, and you and Equestria get a free pass this time. No more chaos for at least a few more centuries. Like I said, all I need is for you to do a single…TINY…thing.”

Twilight finally spoke, her voice unsteady from the constant shaking. “W-w-what d-d-d-do you w-w-w-w-w-want?”

All at once, the earth stopped moving. Twilight fell to the ground, moaning. The horrifying amalgamation smiled like a wolf moving in for the kill. “Oh, that’s very simple, Twilight. All you need to do is give up your special talent. You get to become a blank-flank and experience the thrill of finding yourself AGAIN!” he chuckled sarcastically before transforming into a jeering image of a familiar pink filly. “Won’t that be fuuun?” Conjuring up a monocle and top hat, he began to read off a sheaf of paper that he had also conjured up. After the first few sentences, everything seemed to blur together for Twilight. She didn’t even have the will to get up, let along wield her Element, even if it hadn’t been completely shattered, and even if her friends were here with her.

She was alone in the dark.

Discord cleared his throat and muttered something under his breath. The unicorn blearily turned towards him. He smiled the wolf-smile again. “So, Twilight III of the House of Sparkle, do you accept my terms?”

Twilight’s mind sluggishly compared the pros and cons of each choice. On one hoof, eternal chaos reigning. On the other hoof, peace in Equestria and a lack in magic, which she could just earn back anyway. She smiled to herself. Obviously, Discord hadn’t thought of that. Outwardly, though, she sighed.

“Fine. I accept.”

The draconequus instantly banished all of the summoned objects and returned the area to a natural state, bowing deeply. “Very well, Twilight Sparkle. As per our agreement, you may never practice magic again—“

Twilight nearly choked. “But…You never said anything about that! I—“

Discord chuckled maliciously, briefly reforming the sheaf of paper before floating it over to Twilight. As she read it, her eyes grew wider and wider, until finally they simply rolled back into her head and she collapsed into a faint. The ethereal papers floated down in the still air.

Terms and Conditions

Whosoever agrees to this contract is henceforth bound to these terms. They may never practice magic again, nor shall they be permitted to gain their previous special talent again. They must successfully rediscover themselves and find a new calling within one year, or their soul will crumple in on itself and they will die.

It went on, but none of it concerned Twilight, her mind already struggling with an inevitable truth, and the purple starburst on her flank slowly fading into nothing, its place taken by undisturbed lavender fur.

/-/-/-/-/

Twilight wanders through the familiar halls of Canterlot Castle, waving at ponies she passes. Suddenly, she notices that none of them are even taking any notice at all. She looks down at herself and staggers backwards when she realizes that she is completely incorporeal; She passes through ponies and pillars alike as her transparent form glides among them. Finally, she ends up in a familiar room, the room where she took her test and where she got her Cutie Mark, and sees a familiar filly crouched in front of a dragon egg. She smiles to herself. She knows how his plays out.

A rainbow blast splits the sky and she looks for the magic surge that brought out her potential, but nothing happens. No Spike. No Princess Celestia. Not even a purple star. Suddenly, she remembers the deal she made with Discord. Staring straight ahead in shock, she notices an unpleasant feeling in her hooves and looks down, starting backwards as she sees her hooves gradually fading away. Now it’s up to the middle of her legs, now her barrel. She takes off running in terror as the not-existence reaches her withers. Her entire body is numb now, barring her neck and head, and eventually, even they fade.

She is left staring into eternal blackness, her eyes gone. She hears shouting, but instead of turning to find where it’s coming from, she allows her eyelids to grow heavy. The numbness is being replaced by a calming warmth and she smiles sleepily. She yearns to sink into the comfort like a nice hot bath. Just as she begins to drift away, a flash of light blazes in front of her, and the darkness pulls back. She smiles again, this time more happily than sleepily. The waking world awaits.

Chapter One - Broken

Chapter One – Broken

“Twi?"

“Come on, sugarcube, get up! What happened here?”

Twilight groaned, her head pounding like nothing she had ever felt before. She felt like her mind had been reduced to a swarm of bees and, for some reason, her flank hurt like a manticore had stung her.

“I…I don’t…remember. Where are we?”

Applejack frowned nervously. She ran her eyes over the unicorn’s body, starting at the head. Horn, hair, face, neck, withers, torso, flank—

She yelped in surprise and Twilight jerked her head up, her eyes wide with sudden fear. “W-what is it?”

Applejack’s voice was a terrified whisper.

“T-twi, your…cutie mark. It’s g-g…gone!”

Suddenly, a series of visions flashed rapidly before Twilight’s eyes, only taking perhaps half of a second and then moving on to the next one. Discord breaking free. Twilight fighting him. Failing and collapsing to the ground. Discord shuffling around some papers. And finally, her cutie mark disappearing, never to be restored. She let loose a terrified sob and closed her eyes tightly, but to no avail. The scenes kept playing over and over on an endless repeat. Finally, her mind broke from the stress and she shut down, passing out completely.

/-/-/-/-/

Somepony is crying.

I moan loudly, rolling over and clutching my head. The stinging on my flank is fading gradually, but if anything, the headache is worsening. For some reason, my eyes seem to sting as well. A high whimper escapes my lips as my mind begins to think of excruciating scenes and plays them in my mind.

“No…Noooooo…I didn’t…This wasn’t…I’m sorry…”

I curl up into a small ball of agony and rock gently on the hard wooden floor, wailing quietly. The headache is still getting worse. I don’t know why.

Somewhere, a door opens and shuts rapidly, and hooves clatter towards me on the wood. My moaning escalates as the noise drives spikes of pain into my head.

“No…just…leave…’lone…”

Somepony throws warm forelegs around my, and I open my eyes for long enough to catch a glimpse of butter yellow and pale pink before the light sears my retinas and I yelp in pain, closing them tightly. Faintly, as if from a distance, I hear somepony cooing gently to me.

“There there, Twilight, don’t cry. Applejack brought me here to help you. Are you okay? Are you hurt? She didn’t say what was wrong…”

Mustering up my strength, I open my eyes a crack, leaving the warm embrace of the darkness to look at the pegasus in front of me. She looks…oddly familiar through the tears and with a jolt, I realize that I’m the one crying. I shake off the feeling of familiarity and stared at the pony embracing me. I’ve never seen her before. I finally speak, my voice dry and raspy. “Who…are you? Where’s…Moondancer…?” Then, with no warning, everything goes crazy. The ceiling is the floor. The walls are made of red crystal. The pony in front of me flashes black and smiles menacingly, fangs clearly jutting from her jaw. My mind displays horrors to my eyes, and they blur together with the waking world until I can’t even comprehending what I’m seeing.

Suddenly, my eyes snap fully open and I look at the pegasus. It was all her fault, it must be. I snarl and levitate her with magic, throwing her against the wall. She doesn’t budge an inch and my head abruptly worsens. I cover my eyes with my hooves. Agony. Sheer, total mental agony. That’s all I feel.

“Oh…dear…Applejack? Rarity? I need some help…She’s not reacting well…So could you help me? f you don’t mind…?”

More clattering hooves. Escalating agony. A sweet, prissy voice plays, barely audible over the pounding in our head. I think something about gems, then I start yelling at myself in my head. I’ve never heard that voice. Regardless, we hear a different voice, a cowgirl twang, asking something. Our right ear twitches. The pulsing in our head hurts too much to think, too much to remain. I let myself slip again, fading into blackness as the voices soften and blur around me.

We find ourselves in a green field, staring at each other. You stare back, your cutie mark a purple star. You whisper to me, “They are our friends. They want to help us. Listen to me.”

The agony floods back with full force, driving me to the ground as I clamp my hooves around my head, my mouth open in a silent scream. You quietly clop over to me, holding out a lavender hoof. I stare at it, uncomprehending. She sighs. “I’m sorry, I really am. I didn’t think. I made this happen. I made you by mistake.” Her eyes narrow. “You shouln’t exist. You DON’T exist. You can’t exist. I will make you not exist.” Your horn glows the same color as blood, your coat taking on a shade of dark red, and the feeling of not-existing takes hold of me again. I tearfully clench my head, sobbing. I don’t want to go, I want to exist. I exist. You exist. We exist. But I don’t know who you are. Where’s Moondancer? Where’s Lyra? Who are all of you? Where’s Spike? Spike? Who’s Spike? Who am I? Am I you? Are you me? Are we us? What is this place? Is it a library or a field? A library in a field? Who would put a library in a field? A field in a library? But libraries are buildings, right? But maybe this library is a field?

Looking down. I see that the ground is not grass, but an endless expanse of green books. One opens under me, and then they all begin to open. White and black. Black and white. Words and paper, paper and words. What is this place? Why are there so many books?

The books fold open underneath me, and I begin to sink. Fighting does nothing. I can’t swim in books. I can’t swim in water. Can I? Can you? I don’t know. The endless green, black and white fades into nothing but black and I’m falling. I can see a barrier of books above me. Suddenly a rusty manacle clamps down on my hoof. Then another. Then another. Then another. All of my hooves are bound. A final manacle clamps down on my head. The chains begin to move, making me gallop in place, making me jump, making me move however they want. I’m a puppet. I’m YOUR puppet. Who is in control? You? Me? Us? What is this place? Is this my mind? My mind hurts. Everything hurts. Nothing hurts. Everything and nothing both hurt. No escape. Too much hurt. Hurt everywhere. All the time.

The manacles come loose and I fall again, hitting the ground. Monstrosities loom over me. A black alicorn. A monstrous draconequus. A bug pony. Then nothing. I don’t see anything else. I cough up blood. Who’s blood is it? It’s my blood. I know it’s mine. Is anything else mine? Is my body mine? Is my mind mine? Am I mine? Or am I yours? Am I a puppet?

You appear behind me in a flash of light. Teleporting. Why can’t I? I try. I fail. I can’t magic. Magic hates me. Why can’t magic? What is…Who are…Magic…Broken…I…

I fall unconscious and appear in Canterlot Castle. Nopony’s there. You’re there. You’re not a pony if nopony’s there. You can’t be. What are you? Are you broken too? Is that why you’re angry?

The world around me explodes in a huge roiling nightmare of not-existence and sickly shades of color. A tiny stone, just one stone, is left for me to stand on. One is left for you. Your horn glows red. My head hurts. I fall. Into the not-existence. It swallows me and I sigh.

Thinking…hard.

Am I…Alive? Are we?

Yes. If we’re not alive, then we’re dead. And if we’re dead, then there’s no reason for you to be mad at me. I think.

Then I’m back on the field. No. This is wrong. I’m supposed to be down in the not-ness, right? Things are supposed to hurt. I hit my head, trying to bring the pain back. Nothing. I look pleadingly at you. You don’t look. I want hurt. You should hurt me. That’s good, right? Hurt good. I mumble out a few weak words. I don’t understand them. Pictures pour out of your mouth as you soundlessly open and close it. That’s right. Pictures are mouth things. Words are things you see. Right?

/-/-/-/-/

I wake up, mumbling. Why are words coming out of their mouths? They should be pictures. The Yellow-Pink-Pegapony sees my eyes open and trots over to me. I don’t have headache. Bad. Bad bad bad! Hurt is good, right?

There’s a Purple-White-Unipony too. And an Orange-Yellow-Applepony. Applepony? Why applepony? Hatpony. No apples. Apples are a dream. Don’t exist. Yellow-Pink-Pegapony looks at me.

“Twilight?”

“NO! No Twilight! What…I…” Don’t trust. No trust. Bad pegapony. Bad yellow. Yellow bad. Yellow bad? Or yellow good? Pink. Pink good. No bad. Trust pink? Yellow. Don’t trust yellow. Yellow is bigger than pink. Purple-White-Unipony slowly walks up. White hurts. Eyes hurt. Bright, too bright. Good. Hurt.

There’s a sudden blast of pain and I’m looking through the eyes and moving the hooves. So is you. We move together. I move one way, you move the other. We fall. We look up at the Yellow-Pink-Flutterpony. Fluttershy. What? It’s not Fluttershy. Yes. Is Fluttershy. No. Yellow-Pink-Pegapony. Flutterpinkapegapony?

Rarity.

Applejack.

Good white hurt coat purple unipony?

Orange coat evil yellow mane applepony? Hatpony? Applehatpony?

We take a deep, shuddering breath. Fluttershy. Rarity. Applejack.

Chapter Two - Dreamscape

Chapter Two – Dreamscape

We toss and turn in the bed, our forehead coated in a sheen of sweat. Yellow-Pink-Pegapony—I mean Fluttershy—is with us, sleeping soundly on the ground near our bed. We let out a frustrated moan and I jerk upwards. You remain tossing under the covers. The resulting bodily strain produces nothing but a pulled muscle in our right forehoof. Joy. We end up falling off the bed straight onto Yellowshy and she yelps loudly. OW OW OW MY HEAD OH SWEET CELESTIA IT HURTS

The exclamation awakens in our cranium a mental agony nearly on par with yesterday’s, and we fall to the ground, each rolling a different way and the same way at once. Fluttersus quickly and quietly flutters—Ha ha ow—over to us, gently massaging our temples. After almost an hour of uneventful anguished moaning and gentle massages, we manage to scramble to our hooves. Still. Still is good. Move bad.

I shake my head ever-so-gently to clear the cobwebs. Finally capable of intelligent thought, more or less. No reg—regreso—going back. You whisper “Regression…” in my ear and I groan as we flop down on the bed again. Our eyes gradually fall closed as you give in to sleep. I’m stuck.

Some time later, a pressing need presents itself. Trying my hardest to overcome your sleep, I whisper hoarsely to Yellow-Pink-Pegapony. More head shaking. Fluttershy. Fluttershy Fluttershy Fluttershy! “Please…drink…need…” The effort defeats me and I allow myself to relax, slumping down as cool water is slowly poured down my throat. I savor it, a drunken smile on my face. A hysterical giggle escapes from my throat. If I had the energy, I would break out in song. My thirst sated for the moment, I allow myself to slip off to sleep and join you.

We’re on the book-field again. This time, you look less angry. You look sad. You look like me, but you can’t be, because I’m me. I still don’t know who you are. Our eyes meet.

I suddenly remember you saying something in our fever-dream. ‘”I made you by mistake’” was what you said. I stare into your eyes. You stare into mine. Two identical pairs, meeting each other. Finding myself unable to look away, I suddenly yell out a rambling series of questions, “What did you mean when you said you made me? And where are we? The last thing I remember is the month before the Summer Sun Celebration. Did the Princess take Nightmare Moon seriously? Who are all these other ponies?”

You take a deep, almost sobbing breath, tears beading in your eyes, and look away in shame. “I…I made…I made a deal with Discord.” Before I can interrupt, you keep going. “He’s the evil spirit of mischief and chaos. Celestia told us to stop reading books for a while and to make some friends, so she sent us to Ponyville. Nightmare Moon attacked, and we made friends with five other ponies and stopped her with the Elements of Harmony. So, back to Discord. I made a deal with him. He would leave Equestria alone for another few centuries, but in exchange, I had to give up not only magic, but also…” You motion at my unmarked flank “…I had to give up my special talent. I agreed, and things quickly spun out of control. The massive shock fractured—“

A sudden blast of pain sizzles through my head, searing my neurons like a thousand suns, and I crumple soundlessly to the floor of the dreamscape. The last thing I see is the book-ground shattering into millions of shards of razor-sharp green glass. Waves of pain crash over me as I surge back into consciousness, screaming.

We arch our back in agony, hooves kicking feebly at the air as we wrench our head around, clinging to a desperate hope that it will hurt less if it’s wrapped in a pillow. We faintly hear panicking voices, but they might as well be on the other side of the moon for how much we understand. We feel like Celestia painstakingly inserted the sun into our skull and then made it explode. But more than anything, I want to cry because I didn’t get to hear the rest of your explanation. What did the shock fracture? Just as it did the day before, then pain forces us out of consciousness. This time, however, there’s no green-book field. I’m just falling, endlessly falling. You’re there too, blood pouring from cuts all over your body. My mouth is sewn shut. There is green glass everywhere.

The wind rushes by me, buffeting my face and toying with my mane and tail. I can’t see any ground below me, just you falling and an endless black abyss. What is this? There’s absolutely nothing in sight, and we keep falling.

After some time, I realize with a jolt that I’m no longer falling. Nor are you. We’re both simply floating, castaways shipwrecked in an endless velvet sea. Is this your mind? My mind? Or is it our mind, the joining of us? Is this the space between our souls?

Finally, after days, months, years of waiting in the nothing, I see twin glimmers beneath me. You’ve opened your eyes, and they’re glowing, burning with a brilliant white light. It grows, feeds like a fire, until it’s so bright it hurts my eyes. As I look away, the wave of light washes over me, and the headache recedes somewhat. Another wave of light, more relief. Finally, the last wave rolls over me and I feel as if a house is lifted off of my mind, looking at our surroundings for the first the first time.

Breathtaking walls of translucent walls of crystal soar around me, sparkling with blue light. The magic finally fizzles out from your horn and your eyes take on their normal color. You open your mouth to say something, and everything goes black. There’s an ear-wrenching shriek and an image flashes before my eyes, an image of blood and darkness, for just a split second, and then the dreamscape returns to normal. We lower gently to the floor, looking at each other. You look at me sadly.

“Sorry about last time,” you murmur softly, “I did some poking around our head and found out that if you know exactly what happened to us once Discord…changed…us, it could literally break our mind. We can’t have that, so for right now, you’re on your own.”

I sigh. Of course. Whitewind The Warlock’s theories on cross-memoric mind break return to my mind, clearly highlighting the consequences. I wince involuntarily at the mental image before quickly shaking my head to be rid of it.

“So, in other words, you’ll have no idea what’s wrong with your head. Oh, and one more thing. If you don’t, as Discord put it, “rediscover” yourself within a year, your soul will collapse and we’ll…um…well, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.”

You avert your eyes. I sigh. I’m pretty sure I know what you’re talking about at this point, and it isn’t pretty. Suddenly, the blue crystal floor begins to shake, starting as a gentle tremble until escalating into a full shake that shakes us awake. We groan. “Just five more minutes, Mom…” As we realize what we just said, we catch our breath. Mom? I guess the lines between memories are already starting to blur. Hurry up, me. We need to rediscover fast. Despite everything, I blearily chuckle to myself. If only it were that easy.

The door slams open, a rainbow-maned cyan pegasus—Rainbow Dash, you quickly tell me—bolting through it and nearly landing on me, looking like she can’t decide whether or not to hug me or smack me. Luckily, she chooses the former, and I feel the warm embrace before the other ponies even arrive. Maybe, as you assure me, she really is the fastest flyer ever.

Hmmm. I wonder…