My name is Lunar Hem and this is the story of how I died. It's not a terribly long story. You're not going to get a run-down of my backstory or a detailed analysis of why I do the things I do. It's just the story leading up to how I died. As the Danish prince said, "Report me and my cause aright to the misatisfied. The rest is silence."

I will not make excuses for my life. I was a thief by trade. I stole from other ponies. Sometimes ponies who deserved it. Usually ponies who didn't. Alot of ponies have probably suffered for my intervention, but I never cared. All that mattered was the next big score. I traveled all over Equestria, from Cloudsdale to Manehattan, working my trade. The polizia dogged me every step of the way, but I am a Ventasso Pegasus; I would not be so easily captured.

I had pulled off a job or two in Canterlot before. Never quite managed to work up the courage to try a job in the Royal Palace. They say Princess Celestia knows everything. I never believed it, of course, but we thieves are a superstitious bunch and the better part of valor is discretion. It's saved my life more than once. It would have saved it that night as well.

"Lunar, baby, darling, my love, my life, my reason for being, hear me out." My partner in crime, a rather audacious stallion named Crystal Measure, said as he followed me around the room. He was the go-to-pony for jobs in central Equestria. He was a very well connected pony; always seemed to know a pony who knew a pony who knew the mark.

I stopped and turned towards him. "I told you already, Picket, there's nothing in Canterlot Castle worth risking the Princess' wrath over." He'd always hated the nickname I had given him; Picket, because he was a fence. But he tolerated it; I was his best client after all.

"I bet I could prove you wrong with three words, Lunar." He said with a knowing smirk.

"Try me."

"The Platinum Crown."

I stared at him like he'd grown two heads. "You've actually got a buyer lined up for the Platinum Crown? The actual Platinum Crown?"

The Platinum Crown was nothing special. A relic of the Unicorn Kingdom, it was passed down from parent to child since the time of Princess Platinum, in whose honor the crown had been made. Officially those who wore it were royalty, prince or princess on equal footing with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. It was actually mostly a figurehead position, and the crown hadn't been worn since the incumbent, a foppish stallion named Blueblood, had worn it at his coronation.

But it was a unique artifact, filled with history and sentimental value. More than a few private collectors would pay handsomely for it.

"You bet yer britches, hot stuff. All I need is someone to retrieve it. If only I knew a pegasus in the business. Possibly a mare. Say, a Ventasso." Picket batted his fake eye-lashes at me, laying it on as thick as he could.

I sighed and asked, "How much are they offering?"

"That's the best part!" Picket said giddily. "They're offering five hundred!"

"You're joking." I said with shock. Five hundred million Bits was alot of scratch.

"Nooooooope." He said as he pranced around with glee. "So what do you say?"

"Fifty-fifty?" I asked. I didn't really need to; Crystal Measure was a very generous pony and always honored his agreements, but in our business it never hurt to be sure. Picket knew this and wasn't offended.

"Of course. Now let's work out a plan."

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It was night when I finally made it into the castle. Princess Luna was on the prowl but her attentions were focused on those of her subjects who lay abed, guarding their dreams from such threats as may find them, and wouldn't be looking for a waking thief. The guards were usually a bit more attentive, but I'm an old hoof at this. I timed my arrival in the Tower of Canterlot to coincide with shift changes.

"Who are you?" Someone asked all of a sudden.

I nearly jumped out of my skin. I could have sworn I'd been the only one here. I looked around. There was a patch of darkness in the corner, much deeper than the simple shadows The owner was shrouded in darkness. And I had thought I wouldn't need my night vision goggles.

"I'm one of the maids." I said, improvising. This was the first time this sort of thing ever happened. "Princess Luna sent me up here to retrieve something."

"Is that why you came in through the window?" The voice asked. "You know what I think? I think you're a spy."

The owner of the voice stepped out of the shadows and my heart skipped a beat. It was Discord. Former ruler of Equestria, erstwhile prisoner of Canterlot gardens. After escaping he'd briefly taken up residence in Ponyville, a village a few miles south of Canterlot, before being sealed away again by Celestia's prize pupil. I forget her name. Shinelight Marble or something like that.

Rumor had it he'd been released again not too long ago, but I'd never believed it. More fool me, as my concentration was suddenly broken by being lifted into the air.

"Now what shall I do with you, my little pony?" Discord asked as he waved his lion's paw back and forth, causing me to float through the air.

"Discord." A new voice said in a "He better not be doing that" tone. A large grey pegasus mare had entered the room and was glaring at Discord.

Discord was suddenly the picture of innocence, his mismatched eyes growing incongruously large and a halo appearing over his head. "Enbarr, you're just in time. I was just helping this poor little pony get her bearing."

"Did you have anything to do with this?" the mare asked calmly.

"Absolutely not. No. Nu uh. Nyet. Nein. Maybe. A little. Look, what do you want from me, she was poking her nose around where it didn't belong. She's a thief, here to steal from our dearest Princess Celestia."

"I do not care about the activities of ponies before they come to me. It is not for me to make moral judgements, but I will draw the line at allowing you to tamper with my domain."

"You have the audacity to talk to me, Discord, the master of chaos, like that?" Discord reared up in an exaggerated manner, growing extremely large and surrounding himself with flames. It was all quite ridiculous. He clearly didn't take this Enbarr mare seriously.

Enbarr's eyes narrowed, clearly not appreciating Discord's frivolity. "You are interfering with my duties, Discord. Release that mare and begone." She didn't say "or else" but the threat was implicit. I have no idea what she could have done to Discord - According to legend he was stronger than Celestia and Luna put together - but clearly he didn't feel like taking his chances as he pouted, stuck out his tongue and disappeared in a flash of light. Without Discord's magic to hold me up I began to fall. I spread my wings to catch my fall, but they didn't seem to catch the air like they normally would and I hit the ground headfirst. Strangely, I felt no pain.

As I flopped down onto my back I just lay there for awhile, trying to make sense of what had just happened.

After recovering some sense I took a look at the mare who'd saved me. She was large, as tall as Princess Celestia at least, but more heavily built. Not an alicorn, just a pegasus. She looked awfully familiar, though I couldn't place her.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" I asked as a rolled over and moved to a sitting position.

The mare gave a sort of half shrug. "It is not impossible, though I do not make a point of socializing while on the job. My name is Enbarr of the Flowing Mane."

"But it doesn't." I said, the fact that this was Death, capital D and everything, being shoved to the back of my mind as a totally unimportant observation forced its way out of my muzzle.

She was taken aback by this. "What?"

"Your mane." I said. "It doesn't flow. It's all done up in a braid."

Enbarr smiled amusedly. "You know, I believe you may be the first person to take notice of that."

"It pays to be observant in my line of work." I said. "If you're not then...well...you know."

Enbarr nodded. "I have met many thieves. It is a dangerous career. Few live to old age."

We were both silent for a minute or two after that. I got the impression that Enbarr was waiting for me to say something.

She seemed like the kind of pony who was fine with waiting however long it took.

"I know you probably get asked this alot, but, what's waiting for me? You know. On the other side?"

As I expected she would, Enbarr was shaking her head before I even finished the sentence. "It is not for me to say what awaits you. I am merely a guide."

More silence.

On a whim, I quoted an old play, "'When beggars die, there are no comets seen; The heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes.' I haven't got anyone to mourn my passing."

"Crystal Measure will mourn you." Enbarr said matter-of-factly. "He loves you."

I snorted. "Crystal Measure loves what I can do for him. He tolerates me because I'm his best client, but I can assure you we aren't remotely close enough for him to love me, or I guess wouldn't be even if he weren't gay."

Another one of those half-shrugs. "Believe or don't." She said."When you are ready, I will guide you onwards."

I stared at Enbarr for maybe a minute, trying to guess what she was thinking, but she was clearly an old hoof at this. Her startlingly blue eyes gave away no hint of anything other than patience.

I finally broke down and asked, "You really think Picket - Crystal Measure that is - you really think he loves me? But he's gay!" And rather notoriously so at that; he had brazenly propositioned the groom at the royal wedding of Princess Cadance. It had been quite the scandal. Many of Canterlot's higher-ups had practically been out for blood, though the three Princesses seemed unanimous in finding the event utterly hilarious.

Enbarr nodded. "There are many different types of love, Lunar Hem. Crystal Measure treasured his time spent with you, though you may not have realized it. "

I thought about this for awhile. Picket had always been there for me, ready with a job, or a place to lay low while the polizia were after me. It never occurred to me that he was doing it for reasons other than good business. I chuckled. "I guess I can live with that." I said wryly as I climbed to my hooves. "Take me to what's next, guide."

Enbarr nodded, then turned and walked towards the door. I followed her, stopping for just a moment at the window. I could see into Canterlot from here, though it was a long way off I could easily pick out Crystal Measure's townhouse. I would miss him, and resolved to do better by him if ever given the chance.

Then I turned and followed Enbarr to face whatever fate awaited me next.

Author's Note

Just sorta threw this together. Didn't want to end the month without putting anything up. :P

Have no idea how to continue Lead Crown Factions. Probly be switching over to Dusk Shine, Timide and/or Vestige for now. Finish LCF later.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed Lunar Hem's short tale. I hope Capn_Chryssalid won't begrudge me the reference to his excellent work. ;)