Dr. Dash's Sing-Along Blogby TechnoBronyChaptersAct 1, Part 1Act 1, Part 2Act 2, Part 1Act 1, Part 1I do not own My Little Pony, or Dr. Horrible, or any aforementioned wonderfloniums. This fiction is solely based on LM1313’s Dr. Horrible Songs done by ponies. This is mainly for those interested in bridging the crack between the songs. ACT 1, Part 1 “Muhahahahaha! Ahhhah! Hah!” She maniacally laughed. She looked at the eye, the eye of her audience, the internet audience. It was how the world saw her. She had goggles on, now a form of head protection, keeping her rainbow-mane out of her face. While the cyan pegasus was not very fond of any form of hemming in her mane, she wore the goggles so that no one could identify her VERY identifiable hair. “So, that’s, you know, coming along. I am working with a vocal coach,” she nodded her head at this. “Strengthening the,” pats her chest, “HA!” “A lot of guys ignore the laugh and that’s about standards. I mean, if you’re gonna get into the Evil League of Evil, you have to have a memorable laugh. What, do you think Bad Horse didn’t work on her whinny? Terrible… Death whinny?” “No response, b-t-w, from the league yet, but my application is strong this year. A letter of condemnation from the deputy mayor,” She nods, “that’s gotta have some weight, so, hooves crossed.” She crossed her hooves in front of the camera on top of her computer and made a face that’s… indescribable. “EMAILS!” She suddenly interjected, reaching offshoot to grab a stack of papers. “TooSlyForYou writes: ‘Hey Genius,’ Wow, sarcasm! That’s original!” She scoffed at the screen. “‘Where are the gold bars you were supposed to pull out of that bank vault with your trans-matter ray? Obviously it failed, or it would be in the papers.’ Well, no, they’re not gonna say anything in the press, but, behold, transported from there to here!” She holds up a small plastic bag and it’s clearly visible that whatever was in the bag was NOT a solid gold bar. “The… molecules tend to shift… uh… during the trans-matter event,” She said, poking the liquid substance. “But… They were transported, in bar form, and they clearly… were… And by the way, it’s not about making money, it’s about taking money. Destroying the status quo, because the status is not quo. The world is a mess and I just… need to rule it. I am gonna…” Sniff sniff. “Smells like ramen.” “So, trans-matter is 75%, and, more importantly, the freeze ray is almost up. This is the one,” she said, nodding matter-of-factly. “Stops time. Freeze ray. Tell your friends.” She rifles through a bunch of the papers, pulling out one in particular. “Oh, here’s one from our good friend Johnny Snow.” She rolls her eyes and returns to the paper. “‘Dr. Horrible, I see once again you are afraid to do battle with your nemesis. I waited at Dewly Park for forty-five minutes.’ Okay, dude, you’re not my nemesis. My nemesis… is Captain Hammer. Captain Hammer, corporate tool. Dislocated my shoulder. Again. Last week. Look, I’m just trying to change the world, okay?” She fidgeted with her goggles, “I don’t have time for a grudge match with every poser in a parka. Besides, there are fillies at that park. So…” She shuffled with her papers, finding a particular entry. “Here’s one from DeadNotSleeping: ‘Long time watcher, first time writer,’ blah blah blah blah, ‘You always say in your blog that you will show her the way, show her you’re a true villain. Who is her, and… Does she even know that you’re…” Freeze Ray. Laundry day See you there Under things Tumbling Wanna say Love your hair Here I go Mumbling With my freeze ray I will stop the world With my freeze ray I will find the time to find the words to Tell you how How you make Make me feel What’s the phrase? Like a fool Kinda sick Special needs Anyways With my freeze ray I will stop the pain It’s not a death ray or an ice beam That’s all Johnny Snow I just think you need time to know That I’m the guy to make it real The feelings you don’t dare to feel I’ll bend the world to our will And we’ll make time stand still That’s the plan Rule the world You and me Any day Love your hair “What?” “Oh I, eh, love the… Air. Heh. Anyway…” With my freeze ray I will stop Crunch… “Hey Dash,” a gryphon said as she came into the room. Dash quickly turned off the computer, shutting out her fan-base and turned back to her friend. “Gilda! My evil… talon… buddy. What’s going on?” Dr. Horrible said, bro-hoofing her ‘buddy’. “You know, life of crime. Got your mail.” The gryphon said, handing her some ripped up papers. Dash looked at these, then back at Gilda, “Hey, didn’t you… uh… didn’t you go on a date last night? Rarity told me you were doubling with Pinkie and Derpy.” “Yah.” “Yah?” Dash asked, interested. “It was alright. I kinda thought I was supposed to end up with Pinkie. But…” “I hear yah.” Dash said, pained immediately by the thought. “I saw Twilight today.” “You talk to her?” “So close…” Dash whispered. “Just a few weeks away from a real, audible connection. I’m gonna ask… Oh my god.” Dash pulled out a peculiar looking envelope with a crescent moon on it. “Is that from the league?” “Its from her, that’s her seal isn’t it?” “The leader! Oh my god…” “I got a letter from Bad Horse!” “That’s so hardcore. Bad Horse is a legend, she rules the league with an iron hoof. Are you sure you want to-.” Bad Horse Letter Bad Horse! Bad Horse! Bad Horse! Bad Horse! She rides across Equestria, the thoroughbred of sin! She got the application that you just sent in! It needs evaluation, so let the games begin! A heinous crime, a show of force, a murder would be nice of course. Bad Horse! Bad Horse! Bad Horse! She’s Bad! The Evil League of Evil is watching so beware! The grade that you receive will be your last we swear! So make the Bad Horse gleeful, Or she’ll make you her mare! You’re saddled up; there’s no recourse. It’s ‘High ho, Silver!’ Signed Bad Horse. “Its not a no…” Gilda said, looking at Dash. “Are you kidding? This is great! I am about to pull a major heist! You know the milk-o-phlonium that I need for the Freeze Ray? It’s being transported tomorrow.” “Armored car?” “Cowrier van. Candy from a baby.” “You need anything ripped or… made torn?” “Thanks but… the league is watching. I gotta do this alone.” Act 1, Part 2Twilight, a lavender unicorn mare, stood with her papers on the side of the street, trying to get people to sign them. It was obvious that she wasn’t getting very far, as more ponies just passed her by. Caring Hooves. Will you lend a caring hand, to shelter those who need it? Only have to sign your name. Don’t even have to read it. Would you help? No? How about you? Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash is hiding, looking over at the pasteurizing Cowrier truckers. The Trucker, a brown maned pony, leaves behind her cattle. Dash throws a device and it sticks to one of the cattle, who was chewing cud and barely noticed its presence. This cow was carrying something in its saddle bags. Dash fishes out a hoof usable radio controller. She attempts to start it when, suddenly, a mare appears behind her. It was Twilight. Will you lend a caring hand-. “Ah! Ah. Ah.” Dash said, intelligently. “What?” “Oh, um, I was just wondering if, um, if I could just… Hey, I know you.” “Hello, you know me, cool. I mean, yah, you do. Do you?” “From the Laundromat.” “Wednesdays and Saturdays, except twice last month, you skipped the weekend.” Twilight looked at Dash incredulously. “Or if that was you. Could have been someone else. I mean I have seen you. Dash is my name.” “I’m Twilight. I am out here volunteering for the Caring Hooves Homeless Shelter. Can you spare a minute?” Dash looks back at the cattle, and, after noticing the guard is still vacant, turned back to Twilight. “Okay, go.” She unrolled a paper. “Okay, um, we are hoping to open up a new location soon, to expand our efforts. There is this great building nearby that the cities just going to demolish and turn into a parking lot. But if we get enough signatures-.” “Signatures,” Dash scoffed. Twilight glowered at him. She took the second to look back to check on the cowrier van. “Yah.” “I’m sorry. Go on.” She said, turning back to Twilight. “As I was saying, um, if we get enough signatures, we can get the city to donate the building to our cause. We would be able to provide ponies with 250 new beds, get people off the streets and into job training.” Dash snuck a peek again at the cowrier van, noticing that the trucker had started to return. Twilight noticed. “So they could buy rocket packs and go to the moon and become forests. You’re not really interested in the homeless are you?” “No, I am, but they are a symptom. Your treating a symptom, and the disease rages on, consumes the pony race. The fish rots from the head, as they say. So my thinking is that why not cut off the head.” “Of the pony race.” “It’s not a perfect metaphor, but I am talking about an overhaul of the system. Putting the power in… different hands.” She looked around sheepishly, seeing if just maybe the mare saw through her ruse. “I am all for that,” Twilight said, smiling and nodding. “This petition about the building…” “I would love to sign it.” “Thank you.” “Sorry, I come off strong.” “But you signed!” “Wouldn’t want to turn my back on a fellow… laundry pony.” Dash smiled, knowing that was the weakest joke ever. “If we can’t be seen together, I don’t…” beep beep beep. Dash turned back to the cowrier van, where the trucker was loading up a silver briefcase marked ‘Milkophlonium’. This took his attention from Twilight. “I will probably see you there,” she said, walking away from the now preoccupied Rainbow. “No, I will. I’ll-.” Dash turned back to see that Twilight had left. She mentally hit herself, knowing he had failed in his first time talking to Twilight. She walked over to a staircase. A Mare's Gotta Do “She talked to me,” Dash said, increduosly. “Why did she talk to me now.” “Maybe I should…” Dash scoffed at herself. A mares got to do what a mares got to do. Don’t plan the plan if you can’t follow through. She then dawns her goggles and white lab coat. All that matters is taking matters into your own hands. Soon I’ll control everything. As Dash presses the button on the controller and the cow starts to move, galloping away from the trucker. My wish is your command. Stand back everyone, nothing here to see. A mare had jumped onto the top of the cow, trying to get it to stop, and, evidently, failing. Just imminent danger, and in the middle of it ME! Yes, Captain Jackhammer’s here, hair flowing in the breeze. The day needs my saving expertiiiiise! She grabbed for the metallic item on the cow, punching her hoof straight into it, making the cow start waving uncontrollably. A maaaare’s gotta do what a maaare’s gotta do. Applejack jumped off the vehicle, making goggle eyes at one of the mares on the side of the road. It seems destiny ends with me saving you.The cow continues down the road, turning sharply into an alleyway. Twilight walks out, unnoticing of the danger. When she see’s it, she is shocked still. The only doom that’s looming is you loving me to death. Applejack, seemingly out of nowhere, pushes the mare into a load of garbage bags, as if to save her from imminent peril. So I will give you a second to catch your breath. At the same time, Dash is attempting to stop the cow by the remote, unsuccessful thus far because Applejack had smashed the transmitter. Then, all of a sudden, it responded, coming to halt right in front of Applejack. Jack patted it, as if she had been the one to stop it. Dash huffed, knowing that she had actually stopped it. “You idiot!” She said, rushing up to the cow and Twilight. “Dr. Horrible, I should have known you were behind this.” “You almost killed her.” Dash said, rushing up to Applejack. “I remember it differently.” “Is she-.” “It’s curtains for you Dr. Horrible,” AJ said, grabbing Dash’s neck. “Lacy and gently walked in curls.” Dash looked confused at this statement. Thank you, Hammer-Mare. I don’t think I can strain to you how important it was that you stopped the cow. She struggled to get out of the garbage pile she was in. I would be splattered, I would be struck to third degree. Thank you, sir, for saving me. “Don’t worry about it,” AJ replied, releasing Dash. A mare’s got to do what a mares got to. You came from above. Are you kidding? It seems destiny ends with me saving you. What heist were you watching. I wonder what you’re Captain of. Stop looking at her like that. When you’re the best, you can’t let yourself fail. Did you notice that he threw you in the garbage. My heart is beating like a drum. If ass needs kicking, something I can defuse. I stopped the cow. The remote control was in my hand. The only doom that’s looming is you loving me to death. I can’t believe that I am loving you to death. Waaateeevvver. Dash proceeded to grab the Milkophlonium from the cow. So please give me a sec to catch my breath. BALLS. Act 2, Part 1Dr. Dash’s Sing-Along Blog By TechnoBrony Dash was at a loss for words. She was lost. Twilight was lost to her. That Captain Jackhammer stole her freind from her, even if Twilight didn’t see them as friends. Even though Twi couldn’t figure out that Jackhammer was going to just toss her aside, Dash could see it! On the Rise Any colt with half a brain, Can see that ponykind has gone insane To the point where I don’t know If I’ll upset the status quo If I throw poison in the water main Listen close to everypony's heart And hear that breaking sound, Hopes and dreams are shattering apart And crashing to the ground I cannot believe my eyes How the worlds filled with filth and lies But its plain to see The evil inside of me Is On the Rise. Look around We’re living with the lost and found Just when you feel you have almost drowned You find yourself on solid ground And when you believe there’s good in everyponies heart Keep it safe and sound With hope, you can do your part To turn a life around I cannot believe my eyes Is the world finally growing wise? Because it seems to me some kind of harmony Is On the Rise Dash: Anypony with half a brain Twilight: Take it slow Dash: Could spend their whole life howling in pain Twilight: She looks at me and seems to know Dash: Because the dark is everywhere and Twilight: the things that I'm afraid to show Dash: Twilight doesn't seem to care that soon the dark in me is all that will remain Twilight: and suddenly I feel this glow Dash: Listen close to everypony's heart Twilight: And I believe there's good in everypony's heart Dash: Hear that breaking sound Twilight: Keep it safe and sound Dash: Hope and dreams are shattering apart Twilight: With hope, you can do your part Dash: And crashing to the ground Twilight: To turn a life around Dash: I cannot believe my eyes, how the world's filled with filth and lies Twilight: I cannot believe my eyes, how the world's finally growing wise Dash: But it's plain to see evil inside of me Twilight: And it's plain to see rapture inside of me Is On the Rise The Laundromat is usually quite busy on Saturdays. The humming of washing machines and the chu-chunk of turning clothing arise in the background as two ponies wait for their clothes to dry. "It is so dumb that we have been doing this for so long and never spoke," Twilight said, folding clothing with a part of her magic. "I know," Dash responded, "All those months doing this stunningly boring chore." "I am a fan of laundry," Twilight replied, laughing at herself. "Psych! I love it," Dash cried, trying to save face with the purple mare. "The feel of fabric softener." Dash grunts in agreement. "The feel of warm clothes in your hooves." "So good," Rainbow emphasizes. Rainbow picks up a bag with her teeth and sets it atop the dryers where they were standing. "Hey, this is weird. I ordered one frozen yogurt and they gave me two. You wouldn't happen to like frozen yogurt, do you?" "I love it," Twilight cries, smiling. "Your kidding! What a crazy random happenstance, here." Dash passed over one of the two Yogurt cups, contenting on taking a bite of her own. "How was your weekend? You spend the whole time hunting for wild signatures?" Twilight smiles sheepishly, "Uhm, actually, I went on a date." Dash managed to smile despite herself. "Get right out of town, How was that?" "Unexpected," Twilight replied, nodding, again with a sheepish smile. "She's a real good looking gal and I kinda thought she was cheesy at first." "You should trust your instincts," Dash muttered quietly, shoveling another spoonful of yogurt into her maw. "But, she turned out to be totally sweet. Sometimes ponies are layered like that. There's something totally different underneath then whats on the surface." "Sometimes there's a third, even deeper, level, and that one is the same as the surface one..." Rainbow trailed off, noticing the blank stare that Twilight was giving her. "Huh?" Twilight said, not completely sure what Dash had meant. "Like with Pie. You gonna see her again?" "I think I will." "Oh," Dash responded, smiling. "Rainbow?" "Yah?" "Your driving a spork into your hoof." "So I am!" She said, taking notice of what her hoof had voluntarily done to itself to keep her from screaming. "Hilarious!" Twilight giggled. It turned akward soon after, as the spork stayed firmly planted into her fur. "Alright!" Bad Horse Reprise Dash said, again at the internet audience. "The wait is over! This, my friends, is my freeze ray. Which, with the edition of the Milkophlonium I obtained, at my famously successful heist last week. I say successful in that I achieved my objective. It was less successful, in that I inadvertantly introduced my arch enemy to the mare of my dreams. And now she is taking her on dates, and there probably going to french kiss or something..." "RIGHT! Freeze Ray. So as of tonight, I am in the Evil League of Evil, if all goes according to plan, which it will because I hold a P.H.D. in Awsomeness." There is a crash as the camera comes back online, and Dash stumbles into the shot. Her mane is disheveled and her goggles are cracked. Her body aches as she swoons back and forth to stay upright. "Um, em. Woaah, freeze ray needs work. And I also need to be a little more careful as to what I say on this blog apparently, the Royal Guards and Captain Jackhammer are among our viewers. They were waiting for me at the mayors dedication to the Superhero Memorial Bridge and the Freeze Ray takes a few seconds to warm up and I wasn't... Captain Jackhammer threw a wagon at my head." "Not to worry though, because I'm..." a sound of music starts to come off in the background... She saw the operation you tried to pull today But your humiliation means she still votes neigh. And now assassination is just the only way, There will be blood It might be yours So go kill someone Signed Bad Horse "Kill someone," Gilda asked, incredulously. She was having trouble opening a can of tuna with her claws. "Would you do it?" Dash asked. "To get into the Evil League of Evil?" "Look at me, mare, I am Gilda. The most badass I get is when I am your paper shredder. I am not killing material." "Killing is not elegant or creative, its not my style." "You have more than enough evil hours to get the henchmen you need." " Pfft. I don't need a henchman, I am Dr. Dash. I have a PhD in Awsomeness!" "That the new catchphrase?" She got a look from Dash as a response. "I deserve to get in, you know I do. Its just, killing, really?" "Hooves says he knows a filly in Manehatten who grows up to become Princess. That would be big!" "I am not gonna kill a little foal." "Smother an old lady?" "Do I even know you?"
Act 1, Part 1I do not own My Little Pony, or Dr. Horrible, or any aforementioned wonderfloniums. This fiction is solely based on LM1313’s Dr. Horrible Songs done by ponies. This is mainly for those interested in bridging the crack between the songs. ACT 1, Part 1 “Muhahahahaha! Ahhhah! Hah!” She maniacally laughed. She looked at the eye, the eye of her audience, the internet audience. It was how the world saw her. She had goggles on, now a form of head protection, keeping her rainbow-mane out of her face. While the cyan pegasus was not very fond of any form of hemming in her mane, she wore the goggles so that no one could identify her VERY identifiable hair. “So, that’s, you know, coming along. I am working with a vocal coach,” she nodded her head at this. “Strengthening the,” pats her chest, “HA!” “A lot of guys ignore the laugh and that’s about standards. I mean, if you’re gonna get into the Evil League of Evil, you have to have a memorable laugh. What, do you think Bad Horse didn’t work on her whinny? Terrible… Death whinny?” “No response, b-t-w, from the league yet, but my application is strong this year. A letter of condemnation from the deputy mayor,” She nods, “that’s gotta have some weight, so, hooves crossed.” She crossed her hooves in front of the camera on top of her computer and made a face that’s… indescribable. “EMAILS!” She suddenly interjected, reaching offshoot to grab a stack of papers. “TooSlyForYou writes: ‘Hey Genius,’ Wow, sarcasm! That’s original!” She scoffed at the screen. “‘Where are the gold bars you were supposed to pull out of that bank vault with your trans-matter ray? Obviously it failed, or it would be in the papers.’ Well, no, they’re not gonna say anything in the press, but, behold, transported from there to here!” She holds up a small plastic bag and it’s clearly visible that whatever was in the bag was NOT a solid gold bar. “The… molecules tend to shift… uh… during the trans-matter event,” She said, poking the liquid substance. “But… They were transported, in bar form, and they clearly… were… And by the way, it’s not about making money, it’s about taking money. Destroying the status quo, because the status is not quo. The world is a mess and I just… need to rule it. I am gonna…” Sniff sniff. “Smells like ramen.” “So, trans-matter is 75%, and, more importantly, the freeze ray is almost up. This is the one,” she said, nodding matter-of-factly. “Stops time. Freeze ray. Tell your friends.” She rifles through a bunch of the papers, pulling out one in particular. “Oh, here’s one from our good friend Johnny Snow.” She rolls her eyes and returns to the paper. “‘Dr. Horrible, I see once again you are afraid to do battle with your nemesis. I waited at Dewly Park for forty-five minutes.’ Okay, dude, you’re not my nemesis. My nemesis… is Captain Hammer. Captain Hammer, corporate tool. Dislocated my shoulder. Again. Last week. Look, I’m just trying to change the world, okay?” She fidgeted with her goggles, “I don’t have time for a grudge match with every poser in a parka. Besides, there are fillies at that park. So…” She shuffled with her papers, finding a particular entry. “Here’s one from DeadNotSleeping: ‘Long time watcher, first time writer,’ blah blah blah blah, ‘You always say in your blog that you will show her the way, show her you’re a true villain. Who is her, and… Does she even know that you’re…” Freeze Ray. Laundry day See you there Under things Tumbling Wanna say Love your hair Here I go Mumbling With my freeze ray I will stop the world With my freeze ray I will find the time to find the words to Tell you how How you make Make me feel What’s the phrase? Like a fool Kinda sick Special needs Anyways With my freeze ray I will stop the pain It’s not a death ray or an ice beam That’s all Johnny Snow I just think you need time to know That I’m the guy to make it real The feelings you don’t dare to feel I’ll bend the world to our will And we’ll make time stand still That’s the plan Rule the world You and me Any day Love your hair “What?” “Oh I, eh, love the… Air. Heh. Anyway…” With my freeze ray I will stop Crunch… “Hey Dash,” a gryphon said as she came into the room. Dash quickly turned off the computer, shutting out her fan-base and turned back to her friend. “Gilda! My evil… talon… buddy. What’s going on?” Dr. Horrible said, bro-hoofing her ‘buddy’. “You know, life of crime. Got your mail.” The gryphon said, handing her some ripped up papers. Dash looked at these, then back at Gilda, “Hey, didn’t you… uh… didn’t you go on a date last night? Rarity told me you were doubling with Pinkie and Derpy.” “Yah.” “Yah?” Dash asked, interested. “It was alright. I kinda thought I was supposed to end up with Pinkie. But…” “I hear yah.” Dash said, pained immediately by the thought. “I saw Twilight today.” “You talk to her?” “So close…” Dash whispered. “Just a few weeks away from a real, audible connection. I’m gonna ask… Oh my god.” Dash pulled out a peculiar looking envelope with a crescent moon on it. “Is that from the league?” “Its from her, that’s her seal isn’t it?” “The leader! Oh my god…” “I got a letter from Bad Horse!” “That’s so hardcore. Bad Horse is a legend, she rules the league with an iron hoof. Are you sure you want to-.” Bad Horse Letter Bad Horse! Bad Horse! Bad Horse! Bad Horse! She rides across Equestria, the thoroughbred of sin! She got the application that you just sent in! It needs evaluation, so let the games begin! A heinous crime, a show of force, a murder would be nice of course. Bad Horse! Bad Horse! Bad Horse! She’s Bad! The Evil League of Evil is watching so beware! The grade that you receive will be your last we swear! So make the Bad Horse gleeful, Or she’ll make you her mare! You’re saddled up; there’s no recourse. It’s ‘High ho, Silver!’ Signed Bad Horse. “Its not a no…” Gilda said, looking at Dash. “Are you kidding? This is great! I am about to pull a major heist! You know the milk-o-phlonium that I need for the Freeze Ray? It’s being transported tomorrow.” “Armored car?” “Cowrier van. Candy from a baby.” “You need anything ripped or… made torn?” “Thanks but… the league is watching. I gotta do this alone.”
Act 1, Part 2Twilight, a lavender unicorn mare, stood with her papers on the side of the street, trying to get people to sign them. It was obvious that she wasn’t getting very far, as more ponies just passed her by. Caring Hooves. Will you lend a caring hand, to shelter those who need it? Only have to sign your name. Don’t even have to read it. Would you help? No? How about you? Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash is hiding, looking over at the pasteurizing Cowrier truckers. The Trucker, a brown maned pony, leaves behind her cattle. Dash throws a device and it sticks to one of the cattle, who was chewing cud and barely noticed its presence. This cow was carrying something in its saddle bags. Dash fishes out a hoof usable radio controller. She attempts to start it when, suddenly, a mare appears behind her. It was Twilight. Will you lend a caring hand-. “Ah! Ah. Ah.” Dash said, intelligently. “What?” “Oh, um, I was just wondering if, um, if I could just… Hey, I know you.” “Hello, you know me, cool. I mean, yah, you do. Do you?” “From the Laundromat.” “Wednesdays and Saturdays, except twice last month, you skipped the weekend.” Twilight looked at Dash incredulously. “Or if that was you. Could have been someone else. I mean I have seen you. Dash is my name.” “I’m Twilight. I am out here volunteering for the Caring Hooves Homeless Shelter. Can you spare a minute?” Dash looks back at the cattle, and, after noticing the guard is still vacant, turned back to Twilight. “Okay, go.” She unrolled a paper. “Okay, um, we are hoping to open up a new location soon, to expand our efforts. There is this great building nearby that the cities just going to demolish and turn into a parking lot. But if we get enough signatures-.” “Signatures,” Dash scoffed. Twilight glowered at him. She took the second to look back to check on the cowrier van. “Yah.” “I’m sorry. Go on.” She said, turning back to Twilight. “As I was saying, um, if we get enough signatures, we can get the city to donate the building to our cause. We would be able to provide ponies with 250 new beds, get people off the streets and into job training.” Dash snuck a peek again at the cowrier van, noticing that the trucker had started to return. Twilight noticed. “So they could buy rocket packs and go to the moon and become forests. You’re not really interested in the homeless are you?” “No, I am, but they are a symptom. Your treating a symptom, and the disease rages on, consumes the pony race. The fish rots from the head, as they say. So my thinking is that why not cut off the head.” “Of the pony race.” “It’s not a perfect metaphor, but I am talking about an overhaul of the system. Putting the power in… different hands.” She looked around sheepishly, seeing if just maybe the mare saw through her ruse. “I am all for that,” Twilight said, smiling and nodding. “This petition about the building…” “I would love to sign it.” “Thank you.” “Sorry, I come off strong.” “But you signed!” “Wouldn’t want to turn my back on a fellow… laundry pony.” Dash smiled, knowing that was the weakest joke ever. “If we can’t be seen together, I don’t…” beep beep beep. Dash turned back to the cowrier van, where the trucker was loading up a silver briefcase marked ‘Milkophlonium’. This took his attention from Twilight. “I will probably see you there,” she said, walking away from the now preoccupied Rainbow. “No, I will. I’ll-.” Dash turned back to see that Twilight had left. She mentally hit herself, knowing he had failed in his first time talking to Twilight. She walked over to a staircase. A Mare's Gotta Do “She talked to me,” Dash said, increduosly. “Why did she talk to me now.” “Maybe I should…” Dash scoffed at herself. A mares got to do what a mares got to do. Don’t plan the plan if you can’t follow through. She then dawns her goggles and white lab coat. All that matters is taking matters into your own hands. Soon I’ll control everything. As Dash presses the button on the controller and the cow starts to move, galloping away from the trucker. My wish is your command. Stand back everyone, nothing here to see. A mare had jumped onto the top of the cow, trying to get it to stop, and, evidently, failing. Just imminent danger, and in the middle of it ME! Yes, Captain Jackhammer’s here, hair flowing in the breeze. The day needs my saving expertiiiiise! She grabbed for the metallic item on the cow, punching her hoof straight into it, making the cow start waving uncontrollably. A maaaare’s gotta do what a maaare’s gotta do. Applejack jumped off the vehicle, making goggle eyes at one of the mares on the side of the road. It seems destiny ends with me saving you.The cow continues down the road, turning sharply into an alleyway. Twilight walks out, unnoticing of the danger. When she see’s it, she is shocked still. The only doom that’s looming is you loving me to death. Applejack, seemingly out of nowhere, pushes the mare into a load of garbage bags, as if to save her from imminent peril. So I will give you a second to catch your breath. At the same time, Dash is attempting to stop the cow by the remote, unsuccessful thus far because Applejack had smashed the transmitter. Then, all of a sudden, it responded, coming to halt right in front of Applejack. Jack patted it, as if she had been the one to stop it. Dash huffed, knowing that she had actually stopped it. “You idiot!” She said, rushing up to the cow and Twilight. “Dr. Horrible, I should have known you were behind this.” “You almost killed her.” Dash said, rushing up to Applejack. “I remember it differently.” “Is she-.” “It’s curtains for you Dr. Horrible,” AJ said, grabbing Dash’s neck. “Lacy and gently walked in curls.” Dash looked confused at this statement. Thank you, Hammer-Mare. I don’t think I can strain to you how important it was that you stopped the cow. She struggled to get out of the garbage pile she was in. I would be splattered, I would be struck to third degree. Thank you, sir, for saving me. “Don’t worry about it,” AJ replied, releasing Dash. A mare’s got to do what a mares got to. You came from above. Are you kidding? It seems destiny ends with me saving you. What heist were you watching. I wonder what you’re Captain of. Stop looking at her like that. When you’re the best, you can’t let yourself fail. Did you notice that he threw you in the garbage. My heart is beating like a drum. If ass needs kicking, something I can defuse. I stopped the cow. The remote control was in my hand. The only doom that’s looming is you loving me to death. I can’t believe that I am loving you to death. Waaateeevvver. Dash proceeded to grab the Milkophlonium from the cow. So please give me a sec to catch my breath. BALLS.
Act 2, Part 1Dr. Dash’s Sing-Along Blog By TechnoBrony Dash was at a loss for words. She was lost. Twilight was lost to her. That Captain Jackhammer stole her freind from her, even if Twilight didn’t see them as friends. Even though Twi couldn’t figure out that Jackhammer was going to just toss her aside, Dash could see it! On the Rise Any colt with half a brain, Can see that ponykind has gone insane To the point where I don’t know If I’ll upset the status quo If I throw poison in the water main Listen close to everypony's heart And hear that breaking sound, Hopes and dreams are shattering apart And crashing to the ground I cannot believe my eyes How the worlds filled with filth and lies But its plain to see The evil inside of me Is On the Rise. Look around We’re living with the lost and found Just when you feel you have almost drowned You find yourself on solid ground And when you believe there’s good in everyponies heart Keep it safe and sound With hope, you can do your part To turn a life around I cannot believe my eyes Is the world finally growing wise? Because it seems to me some kind of harmony Is On the Rise Dash: Anypony with half a brain Twilight: Take it slow Dash: Could spend their whole life howling in pain Twilight: She looks at me and seems to know Dash: Because the dark is everywhere and Twilight: the things that I'm afraid to show Dash: Twilight doesn't seem to care that soon the dark in me is all that will remain Twilight: and suddenly I feel this glow Dash: Listen close to everypony's heart Twilight: And I believe there's good in everypony's heart Dash: Hear that breaking sound Twilight: Keep it safe and sound Dash: Hope and dreams are shattering apart Twilight: With hope, you can do your part Dash: And crashing to the ground Twilight: To turn a life around Dash: I cannot believe my eyes, how the world's filled with filth and lies Twilight: I cannot believe my eyes, how the world's finally growing wise Dash: But it's plain to see evil inside of me Twilight: And it's plain to see rapture inside of me Is On the Rise The Laundromat is usually quite busy on Saturdays. The humming of washing machines and the chu-chunk of turning clothing arise in the background as two ponies wait for their clothes to dry. "It is so dumb that we have been doing this for so long and never spoke," Twilight said, folding clothing with a part of her magic. "I know," Dash responded, "All those months doing this stunningly boring chore." "I am a fan of laundry," Twilight replied, laughing at herself. "Psych! I love it," Dash cried, trying to save face with the purple mare. "The feel of fabric softener." Dash grunts in agreement. "The feel of warm clothes in your hooves." "So good," Rainbow emphasizes. Rainbow picks up a bag with her teeth and sets it atop the dryers where they were standing. "Hey, this is weird. I ordered one frozen yogurt and they gave me two. You wouldn't happen to like frozen yogurt, do you?" "I love it," Twilight cries, smiling. "Your kidding! What a crazy random happenstance, here." Dash passed over one of the two Yogurt cups, contenting on taking a bite of her own. "How was your weekend? You spend the whole time hunting for wild signatures?" Twilight smiles sheepishly, "Uhm, actually, I went on a date." Dash managed to smile despite herself. "Get right out of town, How was that?" "Unexpected," Twilight replied, nodding, again with a sheepish smile. "She's a real good looking gal and I kinda thought she was cheesy at first." "You should trust your instincts," Dash muttered quietly, shoveling another spoonful of yogurt into her maw. "But, she turned out to be totally sweet. Sometimes ponies are layered like that. There's something totally different underneath then whats on the surface." "Sometimes there's a third, even deeper, level, and that one is the same as the surface one..." Rainbow trailed off, noticing the blank stare that Twilight was giving her. "Huh?" Twilight said, not completely sure what Dash had meant. "Like with Pie. You gonna see her again?" "I think I will." "Oh," Dash responded, smiling. "Rainbow?" "Yah?" "Your driving a spork into your hoof." "So I am!" She said, taking notice of what her hoof had voluntarily done to itself to keep her from screaming. "Hilarious!" Twilight giggled. It turned akward soon after, as the spork stayed firmly planted into her fur. "Alright!" Bad Horse Reprise Dash said, again at the internet audience. "The wait is over! This, my friends, is my freeze ray. Which, with the edition of the Milkophlonium I obtained, at my famously successful heist last week. I say successful in that I achieved my objective. It was less successful, in that I inadvertantly introduced my arch enemy to the mare of my dreams. And now she is taking her on dates, and there probably going to french kiss or something..." "RIGHT! Freeze Ray. So as of tonight, I am in the Evil League of Evil, if all goes according to plan, which it will because I hold a P.H.D. in Awsomeness." There is a crash as the camera comes back online, and Dash stumbles into the shot. Her mane is disheveled and her goggles are cracked. Her body aches as she swoons back and forth to stay upright. "Um, em. Woaah, freeze ray needs work. And I also need to be a little more careful as to what I say on this blog apparently, the Royal Guards and Captain Jackhammer are among our viewers. They were waiting for me at the mayors dedication to the Superhero Memorial Bridge and the Freeze Ray takes a few seconds to warm up and I wasn't... Captain Jackhammer threw a wagon at my head." "Not to worry though, because I'm..." a sound of music starts to come off in the background... She saw the operation you tried to pull today But your humiliation means she still votes neigh. And now assassination is just the only way, There will be blood It might be yours So go kill someone Signed Bad Horse "Kill someone," Gilda asked, incredulously. She was having trouble opening a can of tuna with her claws. "Would you do it?" Dash asked. "To get into the Evil League of Evil?" "Look at me, mare, I am Gilda. The most badass I get is when I am your paper shredder. I am not killing material." "Killing is not elegant or creative, its not my style." "You have more than enough evil hours to get the henchmen you need." " Pfft. I don't need a henchman, I am Dr. Dash. I have a PhD in Awsomeness!" "That the new catchphrase?" She got a look from Dash as a response. "I deserve to get in, you know I do. Its just, killing, really?" "Hooves says he knows a filly in Manehatten who grows up to become Princess. That would be big!" "I am not gonna kill a little foal." "Smother an old lady?" "Do I even know you?"
