A Foal Puts Quill to Paper
Hello book thing. My name is Dreaming Blue, most ponies call me Blue or DB.
Sorry if I do this wrong, I’m new to the whole writing thing. But one of my caregivers said it could help me remember things better. I have something called ~~afa unmi shor~~ I can’t remember. But it’s really hard for me to remember names and other words.
Oh, I should tell you about me! I live in an orphanage in ~~Cama canon~~ the city with the big castel. I’ve been here since I was really really small. Most ponies think I should be sad cause~~-I-never knew-my-pants-calfs?~~ cause I didn’t know some ponies. But if I never knew them I don’t know why I should be sad by that, I don’t know lots of ponies.
My days are pretty normal I guess. I get taught things by some teachers and spend the rest of the time playing with my friends. They think it’s funny I don’t know their names. I’m just amazed they remember mine!
They’re orphans like me. There’s one with a red mane, another with a yellow coat and my best friend has green eyes. Greeneyes already has a cutie mark. It has something to do with ice-cream, I just can’t remember if it’s of an ice-cream scoop or popsicle. I’ll double check tomorrow and let you know.
At the start I said one of my caregivers told me to write in here (in you?). The reason I worded it like that is because there’s three, maybe four ponies that take care of us, I just can’t tell them apart easily. I do know that one is nice, one is really silly and one is a bit grouchy (Maybe nice and silly are the same pony?). The one telling me to write might be the grouchy one or the fourth one I don’t know how to identify. Maybe tomorrow I should ask?
I’m getting sleepy so I’m going to stop writing now. I promise to write in you (to you? on you?) again soon.
***
Hi again! Are you a diary or a journal? I asked my friends what the difference was but I didn’t understand their answers. That happens a lot, I call it white nose. It’s when a pony is talking to me, but the words just sound kind of fuzzy and out of focus. I used to think everypony heard white noise, but I was wrong.
Redmane wants to know what I’m writing, but I don’t think I’ll share. A caregiver told me you were private and that I didn’t have to show you to anypony I didn’t want to. Redmane’s bed is next to mine is why I bring it up. Hold on, I’m gonna throw a pillow at my friend.
Okay, I’m back.
I almost forgot, I told you I’d check Greeneyes’ cutie mark! It IS an ice-cream scoop. Greeneyes explained it was vanilla ice-cream, but it had rainbow sprinkles. It means that Greeneyes can make amazing ice-cream, even inventing new kinds! That is such a cool special talent!
Umm, I’m gonna be honest with you book thing (I need to give you a name) I’m a little jealous of Greeneyes. It must be so great to know where you belong in the world. I don’t know where I belong. I’m not good at anything.
Redmane is great at sports and will probably get a cutie mark of something to do with athletics. Yellowcoat always has the best drawing in arts class and everypony says a paintbrush will be Yellowcoat’s cutie mark.
All I can do is forget or not understand. A bully once told me I already had my cutie mark and that it was of nothing. That bully got in trouble, but I can’t remember anything else about the bully. No name or color. Maybe that’s for the best.
I have to go, I accidentally started crying a little and Redmane wants to know what’s wrong
I don’t feel like writing anymore tonight.
***
Hello journal/diary.
I’m sorry about last night, the cutie mark talk just got me sad. But I’m better today, I promise!
I learned some new things today! Apparently there used to be two alicorns that ruled over us, not just one! But the younger alicorn did some bad stuff and the older one sent the younger alicorn to the moon!
I’m looking out the window now and I CAN see a pony’s face on the moon! It must be true, the alicorn must be there!
I wonder if the alicorn is looking back at me
***
I’m sorry
I know I haven’t written to you in a while. Please don’t be mad at me. Since I’m in trouble I think you are the only pony I can talk to (even though you aren’t a pony)
In class today the history teacher got mad at me. Greeneyes said the teacher was a substitute. That means we didn’t know the teacher and the teacher didn’t know us. The normal teachers never got mad at me before.
‘Who is our benevolent ruler?’ That’s all that was asked and I couldn’t answer. I told the teacher that but they demanded I answer anyway. I tried I SWEAR I tried. I don’t even remember what I said but it made the teacher mad. I was called a brat, told sarcasm wouldn’t be tolerated and held after school.
It only got worse. The teacher began to ask me questions, questions I didn’t understand. The white noise got so bad and I started to cry.
I don’t know where the teacher is now. I was left alone in the classroom and that’s when I started writing to you. I’m glad you’re here with me. If you aren’t mad at me too then I promise to write in you more! I promise I won’t forget about you again.
I’m sorry
-Dreaming Blue
***
I am still so confused! One of the caregivers, the nice one I think, came to get me. After talking to the teacher for some time, the teacher apologized to me, saying they had not been told about my problem.
I asked the caregiver what I had done wrong, I explained I didn’t mean to be bad. But I was told I did nothing wrong! How can somepony be mad at me but I did nothing wrong? And I don’t understand what problem the teacher meant. Did the teacher mean my problem of remembering things?
When I was first told I was different, I was also told it wasn’t bad. Even though I was different from other ponies, it just meant I was special; that I had to try harder and be braver than other ponies.
If that was true then why did me being different make another pony mad?
I know you can’t answer but I wish you could.
My bed doesn’t feel good tonight and I don’t want to sleep. I think I’ll look at the moon for a while. Maybe the alicorn there doesn’t know why everypony got mad at them too.
-Dreaming Blue
***
Hi! I know it’s been almost a week, but I promise I didn’t forget about you! I’ve just been so busy!
There was an explosion! AND LIGHTS! Pretty ones, all different colors! And then a dragon! I swear I’m not lying! Yellowcoat and Redmane saw it too! It was so amazing!
Some of the city started to panic, but soon the dragon disappeared and then those ponies in armor announced everything was okay and there had just been a burst of uncontrolled magic at the unicorn school. Apparently it was harmless but still the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen!
And then things got weirder! Greeneyes had been there! That night Greeneyes told us that there was going to be a test for hir-hem a test to take for a scholarship, but it got canceled cause of the explosions and dragon.
See where I’m going with this!?
Greeneyes is a unicorn! I’ve always known about the three tribes, but I didn’t really understand how to see the differences. But since Greeneyes has a horn, that means my friend is a unicorn I honestly don’t remember seeing the horn before, but Greeneyes tells me it was always there.
I asked Redmane and Yellowcoat if they were unicorns too. They just looked at each other and laughed like they do when they know I’m being different again.
But it did lead me to another new discovery! I think I’m an earth pony. I had to study myself in the mirror for awhile to fully understand. Now I’m certain I don’t have a horn or any wings. Also my coat is a dark blue! I never noticed before; maybe that’s why I’m named Dreaming Blue?
My mane color is a dark gray apparently. I think I like it, even though gray isn’t technically a color. I still don’t understand my eyes. I looked at them a long time but it was like how it is with white noise. Only seeing it, not hearing it. Maybe tomorrow I’ll ask my friends what my eyes are like. If I remember what they say I’ll tell you.
I really should go to sleep now but I’m not tired. After the last time I talked to you I hardly sleep anymore. I just don’t feel like it
Do you sleep? Is that what happens when I close you? It’s a silly question cause you aren’t real but I like to think that’s true.
-Dreaming Blue
***
Two adult ponies came and took away Yellowcoat. I don’t think they’re coming back. I miss Yellowcoat.
-DB
***
Why am I supposed to be happy!? The caregivers keep telling me Yellowcoat has a home now. That makes no sense! The orphanage is our home! I’m not homeless! Saying Yellowcoat has a home means I don’t and I know that’s a lie!
What’s worse is I’m not allowed to visit Yellowcoat either because this ‘home’ is in some place earth ponies aren’t allowed. I don’t remember the name of the place, something to do with clouds. But I hate it if I’m not allowed there.
Also I thought Yellowcoat was an earth pony like me! I know Yellowcoat wasn’t a unicorn. I’m so mad I cou
Sorry I left for awhile. Greeneyes was sad so we walked together. We had to be careful cause it’s past our bedtime but I think we both feel better now. Well Greeneyes feels better, I’m just scared.
Greeneyes explained that even though it was said, we should still be happy for Yellowcoat because he has new ~~pants~~ THE WORD ISN’T PANTS!!! I know it isn’t! Why can’t I remember the word used!!!
He has new something okay! And that’s supposed to be good!
But what scared me was that Greeneyes said one day adults would come get us too. I don’t want that! I don’t want to be taken from my home and my friends. Even worse, I don’t want my friends to be taken and me left here alone.
I’m not going to sleep now, but I just don’t think I have anything else to say.
-Dreaming Blue
***
Something is wrong with me, the floor seems farther away and everything seems a little shorter. I need to figure out why.
***
I feel so silly! I grew a little and didn’t even know it! I guess I forgot that one day I’ll be big like the adult ponies.
-DB
***
Do you have any idea what it’s like to get a cutie mark!? Heh, I guess you don’t because you’re a book (do books get cutie marks?)
I asked Greeneyes once and was told it’s the most amazing thing ever! It’s like your mind is clear for the first time, you understand who you are, where you belong in the world and a passion is lit within your heart that no one else can understand.
Maybe getting a cutie mark isn’t the same for everypony?
But even if that’s not how I feel, I’m still really happy!
This morning I got my cutie mark! I couldn’t sleep again. But instead of just staring at the moon until I fell asleep, this time I stayed awake! Before I knew it the sun was coming up which worried me. But then realized I didn’t feel tired! I went to get out of bed and that’s when I saw it!
It’s different than I would of thought, it’s not a picture of anything, but bold, white letters. My cutie Mark reads:
‘Z?’
I know it’s a little weird but still so cool! I’m so happy not to be a blank flank anymore and now have a place in the world. Who knew my special talent would be not sleeping!
Gotta hurry and show it off to everypony now, I just wanted you to be the first one to know.
-Dreaming Blue
***
Not sleeping isn’t my special talent.
The grumpy caregiver explained that to me. Their voice was trying to be nice, but I could tell my ideas were starting to annoy. I was told growing ponies still need their sleep and I was expected to sleep regardless of what I thought my cutie mark meant.
I was able to ignore the grumpy caregiver easy enough. Redmane and Greeneyes were both happy for me and both thought me not needing sleep was really cool!
But then later I asked the nice caregiver about my cutie mark, just to be sure. Again I was told staying awake wasn’t a special talent a pony could have. Explained to me was that my cutie mark probably meant something else.
Suggestions ranged from Night Guard to Private Detective. But those just don’t sound right to me.
If my cutie mark is supposed to finally help me understand where I belong in the world then why do I still not know?
***
I’ve been awake for three days now. The caregivers don’t know that. For several weeks I have attempted to force sleep upon myself; but I think maybe I just laid there with eyes closed. Before my cutie mark I used to dream.
I don’t dream anymore.
I’ve been thinking a lot while I don’t sleep. About you, me, the alicorn in the moon. I know I should have wrote in you more during these nights; but I needed the time to think and to understand.
I’m going to name you Book because that’s what you are and you look like a Book.
So let’s start this over
Dear Book,
I’ve been awake for three days and the world is changing. There is much I still do not understand, ponies use words I can not hear, my eyes have no color, form or shape when I look at them. When I was very young this did not bother me, I thought it was the same with everypony. When I learned the truth, I still did not care, it was what made me special.
More recently, I have found a growing fear in me regarding these facts. I did not tell you about it because it was so subtle I did not realize it myself. But with these past three nights of pondering, I realize I now except what I am.
My cutie mark is clear to me. I know now why I am different. My special talent is that my thinking is not like everypony else. I do not see the world with the same rules and the same harmonious gaze as the rest. My thinking challenges their rules and defies their norm. A z with a question mark. The question, the challenge to why I must do what they all do.
So now I understand the why, but not the what. What do I do with such a talent? I guess we can find that out together.
-Your Friend
PS: I hate the name Dreaming Blue. I used to like it, but I don’t dream anymore. My name is now a lie. Help me think of a new one?
***
Dear Book,
Nonsense is my name.
Author's Note
Alrighty, chapter one is up! I'm pretty excited about this. Nonsense is a character I've been wanting to write about a long time now, hopefully I can do the idea justice.
Honestly I'm a little critical of this first chapter, it just feels to simple...but then again it is supposed to be written by a foal. I'm planning for later chapters to be a bit more weighty.
To anyone reading, please let me know what you did or did not like. Constrictive criticism is always welcome.
What My Cutie Mark is Telling Me
Dear Book,
It has been some time since we last spoke. I guess that’s good, it means I have a lot to share.
Do you remember my last entry? I have found a new name, one that is not a lie like my old one. The caregivers did not like it and my friends found it odd. But it’s who I am now, Nonsense. I offered no explanation as to why I chose that name...sorry about that.
It’s simple if you think about it. So often when ponies talk to me, I hear the white noise. It makes no sense, they speak to me in nonsense. Equally, I’m beginning to suspect I sound just as nonsensical when I share my thoughts and ideas. It would explain why I can make my friends laugh so easily when I never remember telling a joke.
Greeneyes has been the only one to embrace my new name. At first, my best friend seemed sad, voicing that it sounded like I was being insulted. I explained my reasons just as I told you. Greeneyes did not understand, but excepted.
Redmane takes the opportunity of my new name to make fun of me. In fact, I’m starting to think Redmane makes fun of me a lot, I just never noticed before. Could Redmane be the bully I once mentioned? I didn’t think so, but it is a possibility. I would ask if I thought I’d get a honest answer. Maybe I’ll ask anyway?
The caregivers, how ever many there are, (I find myself no longer caring) have steadfastly refused to call me Nonsense. But with weeks of refusing to respond to Dreaming Blue, they eventually gave in.
I still do not understand what I should do with my special talent. The idea of speaking my mind and thoughts to anypony save Greeneyes is unpleasant. I keep remembering the teacher, how upset that pony was at me. It might be wrong to share how I think?
Greeneyes likes the things I have to say, telling me it’s different, interesting, funny. I don’t think I’m funny. I know you don’t...maybe I’ll share some more of my ideas with you, see what you think?
I hope you understand if I don’t and just keep telling you things that happen.
-Nonsense
***
You know what’s funny about dreaming, Book? It’s that so often we never remember our dreams when we wake. Sometimes I would have fleeting memories, but they would soon fade. It was never a loss for we always have more dreams, don’t we?
I still don’t dream. And now I feel ashamed for having forgotten all the dreams that came before my cutie mark. I’m not bitter or regret earning my cutie mark. It’s just, I would have liked to enjoyed my dreams more had I known they would end.
At night, I still watch the moon, pretending the alicorn in it is watching me. I can’t remember when I last slept. I don’t even lay down anymore. Sitting upright, hind legs tucked underneath me, that’s my nightly stance until the sun rises. I suspect I drift to sleep sometimes as I will experience lapses in time. But it is a dark, empty sleep.
I hope you can dream for me
-Nonsense
***
Hi Book,
Today was the last day of school. I’m glad, classes have been getting hard, more confusing. While it is thrilling to be free, I am also sad. When school starts again, Greeneyes will be attending the school for unicorns. That means I will see Greeneyes less.
But I don’t think it’ll keep me to down. It is the summer and I intend to spend as much time playing with Greeneyes and Redmane as possible.
Did I tell you Redmane got a cutie mark? It was just the other day in a game of hoofball. I already forgot what it is, but it is sports related! Just like I thought it would be
Now all of us have our cutie marks. Well everyone except...
I just looked back in the older entries you have. I had almost forgotten about Yellowcoat...why would I forget about Yellowcoat? Wasn’t Yellowcoat my friend?
Anyway, like I was saying, I don’t know if Yellowcoat has a cutie mark yet. But the rest of us now do. I guess that really does mean we’re growing up. I wonder what adult ponies do? The ones I see are always busy doing something. I don’t know if I want to be busy like that.
***
It’s been awhile Book.
The summer is almost up. I don’t want it to end even though I think I hate summers.
OH! That’s perfect! Remember I said I had ideas that aren’t funny but Greeneyes finds them funny? I’m gonna share one with you now
I hate summers. They are hot unless you’re in the water and it’s just too easy to start sweating. I had told Greeneyes this.
“So do you like winter better?” My friend asked.
That’s when I explained that no, no I did not like winters ether. It is much too cold and if you tried to go swimming you would freeze. I don’t like not being able to swim.
This brought a look of confusion to Greeneyes’ face. “So you hate winter because you can’t swim and you hate summer because...you can?”
“Exactly!” I had yelled that, thrilled thinking I finally got through to somepony. But that’s when Greeneyes laughed, commenting that I was being silly again.
What do you think Book? That wasn’t funny! I guess I’m glad Greeneyes thought it was. But I wasn’t trying to be funny.
-Nonsens
***
Dear Book,
Something strange happened today. Redmane, Greeneyes and I had all been playing, but then Greeneyes wanted to go on a walk with me. Redmane seemed annoyed, saying something that was just white noise. Whatever it was it had caused Greeneyes to blush.
I don’t remember most of what we talked about, different random stuff mostly. But I do remember Greeneyes bringing up about adults coming to get us. She had used one of the words I don’t understand again, but I’ve learned that when that word is used, whatever it is, it means adult ponies come and take you away.
Apparently, since she was now at the unicorn school (I found out it’s for gifted pony. But in a different way, not gifted like me) there was a bigger chance of adults taking her away from our home. This upset me and I almost started to cry, telling my friend I didn’t want them to be taken.
That’s when Greeneyes hugged me and made me a promise
“Even if (white noise kicked in, but it was basically ‘adults come and take me away’) I promise to still come visit you as much as I can. We can still play and hang out.”
That had made me smile. I felt happy in knowing even if Greeneyes left, I wouldn’t be forgotten and being allowed to still see my friend meant I wouldn’t forget Greeneyes.
It was really perfect until the strange thing happened. Mine and Greeneyes’ lips touched. It wasn’t an accident, of that I’m sure. It was deliberate but I don’t know why. It only lasted a moment and I remember Greeneyes blushing terribly when it was over. Nothing was said as the dinner bell was rung and we had to go back inside.
I know about hugs and nuzzles. My friends and I would do them all the time. Not so much anymore though. This lip thing, it felt similar but different. Like a closer connection was being made between myself and Greeneyes...I don’t think I like it.
Something inside me feels uneasy. Whatever connection was trying to be made, I don’t want it. I’m going to have to explain that to Greeneyes tomorrow.
-Nonsense
***
Today was uneventful.
I just wanted to let you know things went fine with Greeneyes. I explained how the connection we have is the way it’s supposed to be. Any bad connections needed to be avoided so we could remain close.
Greeneyes seemed happy and understood.
-Nonsense
***
Hello Book,
I’ve come to a revelation. I HATE school. I never minded it much before, but now ECK!!! The white noise is so horrible now. Nearly every time a teacher opens their mouth it’s all I hear. I try to fill in the blanks best I can and seem to do a good job at it. But then the tests come.
Those damn tests that make no sense and ask me question I don’t understand. It makes me see the white noise! I don’t like seeing the white noise. Hearing it is fine but seeing it is a no! Before it was easy to avoid, I just didn’t look at my eyes in the mirror.
But with all the tests and lessons it feels like the majority of my day is spent staring at white noise.
Night, I like nights. Nights have no white noise to hear or see. It’s quiet and I can look at the moon. I wish I could remember the alicorn’s name, I recall it being pretty.
No
No the name isn’t pretty, the name was changed to be scary. Why would the moon alicorn have a scary name?
Stupid history, I should just start making up my own so I can at least fill in the blanks on those tests.
Another thought for another time I guess.
So Night and when I talk to Greeneyes. Those are the only times I enjoy myself. Night is peaceful and Greeneyes lets me talk about all the weird ideas in my head. It’s a great way to clear my mind. But sometimes Greeneyes wants to talk about other things like the unicorn school or a lot of white noise talk. I don’t like that.
In fact I’ve noticed more white noise talk coming from Greeneyes. Whenever my friend stands too close to me or holds my hoof. I can’t figure out what’s trying to be said. Though I highly doubt it matters.
I’m going to go look at the moon now. Maybe even make up a song for the moon alicorn.
-Nonsens
***
Hahaha! I am in so much trouble! And I don’t even care! In fact it’s...it’s funny! Remember when I got in trouble before and how scared and sad I was? Well not anymore!
I feel...good! You know why Book!? Because I openly used my special talent!
Hold on, let me get my test paper and I’ll share with you.
Okay, I’m gonna share with you one of my questions and answers. I’m sorry if the question is nonsense (Heh, see what I did there?) There’s a lot of white noise on it so I’ll fill in the blanks best I can
Question. In what war did our (ruler?) lay down the treaty between the (flying lion birds) and (something mic something or other) to thereby establish that (bla bla bla my eyes hurt from the noise!)
My Answer: War comes about for a desire to have peace, because if you don’t go to war then the other team will attack first. Those are the rules. And if the sun says otherwise it means the sun is a liar! Also who cares about lion birds? Dip them in hot sauce and feed them to the something mic something or others. Also if our ruler, whatever the sun’s name is, is supposed to be about harmony and peace, why aren’t more wars going on!? I guess royal sun butt is too busy having a royal cake baked on the royal flank.
I don’t even remember writing half of that but it’s all true! Normally I’d only say things like that to Greeneyes but today, wow! I just let it out!
Caregivers (I’m starting to suspect there’s really only one, not four) said I got no dessert (I hate desert) and had to go to bed early (HA! I don’t sleep!)
Guess they didn’t find my ideas funny like Greeneyes….good! They aren’t supposed to be funny and that’s why I’m laughing.
-Nonsens
***
Wow, sorry Book. I hope I didn’t freak you out last time I wrote.
I just got really excited about my answers. I wrote a lot more than that one I showed you! But I’m calmer now, the thrill has worn off I guess. Can you believe the caregiver(s?) still won’t let me have dessert? I hate not getting dessert.
Also I feel really bad now. See I was thinking that I spend so much time with moon that sun might get jealous! So tomorrow I’m skipping school and going to spend the whole day looking at sun. You think there’s an alicorn in sun just like moon?
***
I’m sorry. I know I disappeared again. Please don’t be made Book. Let me explain
I was in the hospital. Remember when I was going to look at the sun all day...for some reason? That ended pretty badly. I don’t remember clearly what happened. Something hit me or...I hit something.
One of my legs was broken, don’t remember which one. Other stuff was wrong with me, but it was all white noise. I was given drugs to make me sleep. I think I dreamed.
It was nice to dream again. You were there as well as Greeneyes. Others ponies were there too, but I don’t know who they are. One had a yellow coat and another had a red mane. Something familiar about them but...friends of yours Book?
It doesn’t matter.
Dreaming was nice, it was more calming than sitting and staring all night. But now that I’m back home I won’t be dreaming again.
The caregiver says I have to take some pills. I’m not going to though. One kind takes the pain out of my leg, why would I want that? The other kind is for me head. But I didn’t hurt my head so why take them?
Greeneyes has been the most worried about me...I don’t know why. I explained why everything is fine. Greeneyes doesn’t find my ideas as funny anymore. Now they just make a worry look come on Greeneyes’ face..
Silly Greeneyes, doesn’t my friend understand it’s only Nonsense?
***
Dear Friend Book,
I’ve been keeping ideas to myself again. Others seem more happy that way. I’m not though, I like how happy and funny everything is when I share my ideas. But I also don’t want to take pills and not sharing ideas means no pills.
My leg is all better, I think, let me check.
No, I still have a cast on. That’s weird, I could of sworn it was off. Oh no wait, I took it off but then they put it back on. Right
I asked Greeneyes about the other two ponies from my last dream. Apparently I used to know them! Why didn’t you tell me Book!? I tried looking back but you’re starting to have white noise in some spots….don’t do that. You know how much I hate seeing white noise
Anyway their names were...something. I’ll ask Greeneyes again tomorrow. Apparently one was taken away into the clouds! Isn’t that a terrifying idea! Sure hope the yellow pony was a pegasus or else they fell to a splatting death.
The red one was taken in by a school. Or lives at a school now. Eck, white noise white noise! Point is, something to do with sports and school! Two things I hate.
No wait, I like sports in the fall but hate school year round...my mind is drifting again. Also stop tricking my into sharing my ideas with you. I used to not do that with you, only Greeneyes heard my ideas.
But Greeneyes doesn’t like my ideas anymore
…..you’re making me sad! I’m leaving!
-Nonsens
***
Dear Book,
Greeneyes and I talked today. There was a lot of white noise. I don’t remember what I...
Greeneyes cried, was I mean?
My cutie mark, Greeneyes said it..
Can’t remember.
…
…
…
I’m scared.
~~-Dreaming Bl~~ NONSENSE!!!
Author's Note
Well that got written fast o.O. Don't expect this to be a normal trend for updates.
Anyway, had lots of fun with this chapter. With Nonsense getting older and stranger, I found the writing to be a bit easier. Hopefully you enjoyed reading. I read over this chapter more than once, hopefully spelling and grammar issues are tolerable.
As before, please comment on what you did or did not like.
