Equestria Diaries

by The Good Doctor K

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 1555

An average human discovers a new world...and the ponies that come with it. Hoo, boy.

Elijah [REDACTED] was an average teenager. He had friends, a YouTube channel, a Tumblr–all the essentials he need to be a nerd. One day, during the making of a video, a strange portal appeared. This portal takes him to a strange world…full of talking light-colored ponies, some with horns, some with wings, all with tattoos on their butts.

This was an earlier story that I quit working on. I decided to take up the project again, because I felt it had a lot of potential.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-19 02:50:01 UTC

Prologue: A Strange New World

Elijah climbed out of his grandmother's car, clutching his backpack, and charged to the side door of his house. He threw the door open and charged into his house. He pulled his notebook out of his backpack and nearly squealed in delight. Finally! He had finished the script for his Black Butler review. His first scripted review!

He walked into his bedroom, closing the door behind him. He went to turn on his camera when he noticed a dull hum coming from his TV, indicating that it was on. He looked at it and noticed a slight grayish tone to the TV, as opposed to its normal black. He pressed the power button, but the grey still remained. In fact, it got brighter.

Elijah was starting to get a little creeped out. He quickly excited the room, slamming the door behind him. He decided to wait to review and decided to go on his computer. He went to turn it on, but was shocked to see that it had the same shade of grey as the TV. He then ran over to his 3DS to make sure that it wasn't as weird when he noticed something. His entire vision was slowly glowing brighter, not just the screens.

He lied down on his couch and closed his eyes, yet the light continued to grow. His head also started to hurt. He clutched his forehead as it started to burn and the light grew brighter. Unlike the like, however, the headache didn't gradually get more painful; it immediately exploded into pain.

Elijah rolled off of the couch, still clutching his head. His vision was now completely white, even when he opened his eyes. He struggled to his knees, then felt his way towards the front door. He threw it open and climbed outside. He began trying to get to the front yard. "Someone, help me!" he yelled. He tripped over a stick in his drive way and started to fall. He braced himself for the pain of hitting the cobblestone.

However, that pain never came. Suddenly, he was floating. The light behind his eyes had disappeared. He opened his eyes and saw that he was surrounded by darkness. He tried to feel if anything was around him, but his arms wouldn't move from his side.

After what felt like of ages of floating around in darkness, Elijah's body started burning. It wasn't as bad as before; he just felt sore. He felt his arms and scalp tingle, as well as his backside.

When the tingling stopped, the world began to form around him. After the entire area came into view, he found himself lying on a couch, a blanket covering him. He could barely move his limbs, and when he tried to move his head, it felt like his brain was rolling around like a marble.

"Wh-where am I?" he asked himself.

"Oh, good," a tiny feminine voice said. "You're awake." Elijah couldn't turn to face the woman that spoke because his head hurt, so he just lay on the couch. He heard the woman walking over to him.

At that moment, a yellow horse with pink hair came into sight. Elijah blinked. What was going on? His eyes went to its body and noticed that it had wings. He continued down and saw what appeared to be butterflies tattooed on her butt.

"Okay, now I know I'm dreaming," he said to himself.

"You're not dreaming," the feminine voice said as the horse's mouth moved. "I found you on the edge of the Everfree forest. It's really dangerous there, so I brought you back here."

"Did...you just talk?" Elijah asked, feeling slightly stupid for talking to a horse.

"Of course," the horse said.

"Talking horses," Elijah said out loud. "Freaking fantastic."

"Oh, I'm not a horse," the horse said. "I'm a pony, like you."

"Like...me?" Elijah said. He looked in a mirror at the far side of the room and saw a dark green horse-er, pony-with a horn lying on the couch with the other pony standing in front of him. The pony's hair was a dark blue with dark green highlights. Elijah blinked and so did the pony. "I'm a pony," he said, more to himself than to the other pony. He closed his and sucked in a deep breath.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

When Elijah was done screaming, his head was hurting even worse. He forced himself to look at the other pony, who was hiding under a table. "Sorry," he said. "It's just...I'm not supposed to be a pony. I'm supposed to be a human."

"I-I sorry that yo-you're a pony," the pony stuttered, her voice shaking terribly. "I-I don't know what happened."

Elijah sighed. "It's not your fault," he said. "I'm just...shocked." He threw off his blanket, feeling better, then climbed off of the couch.

"Um...what are you doing?" the pony asked, coming out from under the table.

"What do you mean?" Elijah asked.

"Everypony stands on four legs," the pony said.

Elijah looked down and noticed his was standing on his hind legs. "Oh," he said. He slowly got on all fours. "So, uh, do you think you could teach me how to be a pony?"

"Sure," the pony said. "So, what's your name?"

Elijah almost said what his name was, but then, a thought occurred to him. He didn't have to be the same Elijah he was in the human world. Here, he could start a new life and become a new person. Perhaps this society would appreciate what he contributed.

"My name is...Pixel," Elijah said.

"That's a neat name," the pony said. "My name's Fluttershy. So, um, how about we start out with all the types of ponies in Equestria?" She turned and walked to a bookcase. She pulled out a book and lay it down on the table.

"'Equestria for Foals'," Pixel read. He opened the book and began to read. He noticed that it was a book that was for younger ponies, most likely ponies that were still drinking milk from their mom's nipples, but, considering that he was new to this world, it made sense to him.

When he was done reading, which took 52 seconds, he closed the book and looked at Fluttershy. "So, you're a pegasus," he said. "And I'm a unicorn. So, I should be able to do magic, right?"

"Well, you can only do basic levitation at this point, from what I can tell," Fluttershy said.

Pixel looked at the book, then laid it on the table. He tried to focus his energy to his horn, attempting to levitate the book. Right before he gave up, a teal aura surrounded the book. Pixel smiled, then attempted to get the book to float higher, and it worked. He tried to lower it, and the book lowered.

The aura disappeared and the book hit the table. Pixel noticed the sweat on his brow. "Doing magic is hard," he said. "I should probably get some practice. Is there a town near by?"

"Um...yes," Fluttershy said. "I don't really think that you should go to the town yet. At least until you've learned everything about Equestrian society. I'll get some magic books from the library for you."

"'Equestrian' society?" Pixel asked.

"Our kingdom is called Equestria," Fluttershy said.

"I guess that makes sense," Pixel said. "I'll stay here until I learn how to fit in."

"I'll go get the magic books," Fluttershy said. "Stay here, okay?"

"Okay, ma'am," Pixel said.

Fluttershy smiled, then turned and left. Pixel walked over to Fluttershy's bookshelf, still trying to get used to walking on all fours, and put the book back on the shelf.

Suddenly, he heard a thump. Pixel, being a certified pussy, turned around in fear. "H-hello?" he asked. "Is anyone there?" He slowly walked away from the bookshelf and towards the door. He started to open it, but noticed that Fluttershy had locked it. "Oh, crap," he said to himself.

A sequencing of the thumps came from behind Pixel. He turned around in fear and saw...a bunny. The bunny looked at Pixel, noticed the fear on his face, and started laughing.

Pixel got furious. He approached the bunny and glared down at it. "Oh, hardy-freaking-har," he said. "So, you live with Fluttershy? I can tell we're gonna be good friends."

The bunny looked worked at the last two words and Pixel's creepy smile. Pixel knelt down to the bunny's level. "Now, listen," he said. "I'm probably going to be staying here for a while. And I don't want to kill you. So, for your safety, DON'T SCREW WITH ME."

At that moment, the door opened and Fluttershy walked in, her saddlebags stuffed with books. "I'm back," she said. She noticed the bunny standing in front of Pixel. "Oh, I've seen you met Angel," she said. "Isn't he adorable?"

"Very adorable," Pixel said in a disturbingly soft voice. "I could just eat...him..up."

Angel ran away, squealing in fear.

"What was that about?" Fluttershy asked.

"I dunno," Pixel said, shrugging. "Probably the shock of meeting a new person. So, let's get to studying."

Fluttershy nodded, and sat the books on the table. Pixel said down and picked up the one closest to him. He had a lot of reading to do if this was his new life.