So Sweet and Tasty

by Mayclore

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie
Length: 2176

Cupcakes...cupcakes, cupcakes, cupcakes!

Rainbow Dash is invited by Pinkie Pie to come over to Sugarcube Corner, but it all goes horribly, horribly wrong. A one-shot that also serves as something of a writing exercise (and a fun change of pace, to boot).

Published 2012-03-15 14:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-15 14:54:01 UTC

So Sweet and Tasty

It had been bothering Rainbow Dash for days, but she was good at hiding stuff like this. The way Pinkie Pie was acting...it wasn't right. Something was off about her friend, but every time she asked, she'd get deflected by an 'oh Dashie' or a 'you're being a silly filly'. After a week of trying, Rainbow finally gave up, figuring that if it were a big deal she'd have told someone. Then again, she had managed to conceal some pretty serious stuff before – Rainbow's mind immediately wandered to the birthday party incident, the worst example. It was a peek into the dark recesses of Pinkie's mind that still disquieted her on occasion.

But today held the promise of answers. The earth pony wanted Rainbow to drop by after she was done shuffling clouds. Praying this would be the end of her worries, she tore through her work. She was going so fast, it attracted a crowd on the ground below her. Naturally, she had to show off for the audience, inserting unnecessary flips and banking turns into her usual cloud-herding routine. When she was done hauling around the fluffy puffs in one area, the crowd below would follow behind her as she moved on to the next, like the gallery following a golfer. Soon, the airspace of Ponyville was empty of clouds, and Rainbow rocketed toward the ponies below. She came to a screeching halt just a few feet above them, drawing a loud collective gasp before a rousing round of cheers.

“Thank you, thank you,” she bowed with a flourish of her wings. “I'll be here all week if you wanna catch another show!”

Rainbow landed as the crowd dispersed, leaving her wings open to ensure they wouldn't get stiff. The workout had left her a bit winded, so she decided to rest for a moment. Coincidence, however, had put her at the other end of the street from Sugarcube Corner. She looked upon the brightly-colored bakery with uncharacteristic anxiety.

“R-right...let's go get this over with,” she whispered to herself, starting off in that direction. She had hoped the extra effort in her work routine would have burned off her nervousness, but it grew with every step she took toward Sugarcube Corner. As she drew ever nearer, her mind began to race.

What if it's serious?

She dismissed that thought with a shake of her head. If it were truly bad, she would definitely tell someone about it.

Right?

What if she's mad at me or something?

Now Rainbow's thoughts concentrated on recalling her interactions with the pink pony, desperately searching for any sort of offensive or hurtful act. Lately, she had been doing her best to think before she spoke – it was Applejack who had tipped her off to her unintentional jerkiness, chiding her powerfully for the way she would talk to Scootaloo. She never meant to be mean, but there were some things she just couldn't get, like the pegasus filly's inability to fly. It seemed to have been working. Even Rarity commented on her new-found decorum, during one of those insufferably long living mannequin sessions she would drag Rainbow into. This possibility upset her so much, she began to think out loud.

“No way she wouldn't tell me if I stepped out of line,” she mumbled. “I even told her to tell me...I told everypony to tell me.”

Bon Bon and Lyra, walking the opposite way down the street, looked oddly at the muttering Rainbow as they passed. Once by her, the two of them exchanged a confused glance.

“...what if I was so mean she was scared to tell me?” she looked up with a gasp, nearly running right into the door of Sugarcube Corner. “Guess I'll find out in a minute...”

She walked in and instantly felt that something wasn't right. The lights inside were all off, and it was eerily quiet. Mrs. Cake would usually meet a new arrival at the glass counter case, but she was nowhere to be found. What bothered Rainbow the most was the lack of smell; the air inside here was usually thick with the aroma of confections being made. The pegasus took a few uncertain steps forward, the noise of her hooves on the floor echoing slightly.

“Uh...Pinkie? You wanted to see me?” she called, not even sure her friend was here. There was no reply, so Rainbow continued walking. “Pinkie? Hey, are you there?”

“Upstairs,” her voice rang out, bouncing around down the stairway. After almost jumping out of her skin with fright, Rainbow became concerned; Pinkie sounded...strained. It was a tone she hadn't heard from the pink pony often. She went around the counter and gingerly began scaling the steps, ascending past the bathroom. As she reached the top, she found that the loft was equally as gloomy. Pinkie had all the curtains drawn – the only light came from the funky lantern on the night table that Twilight had gotten her for her birthday last year. The pony herself was sitting in the middle of her bed, looking slightly pensive. The whole scene made a lump of nervousness catch in Rainbow's throat.

“H-hey,” she waved a little, emerging up from the stairway. “How's it going?”

“Hi, Dashie,” Pinkie replied. She smiled wide, but it didn't serve to make Rainbow feel any better. “I'm glad you came.”

“I wouldn't leave you hangin',” Rainbow assured her, rubbing the back of her neck. “So...uh...you wanted to talk to me?”

Pinkie's smile faded, but it didn't completely disappear. “I need your help.”

Rainbow was simultaneously relieved and terrified. She wasn't mad at her...but she was in trouble? The pegasus took a split-second to steady her nerves with a quick breath. “Sure, what's up?”

She watched Pinkie's hoof as it moved to the night table. Next to the lantern was a small dish with a cupcake. It had rainbow frosting on it in carefully arranged stripes.

Rainbow stared at it as she picked it up and got off the bed, carrying it in her mouth as she walked over.

What the heck...wait. Is this a peace offering? I did do something bad! Shoot! I can't even remember what it is! She got so lost in her thoughts that Pinkie had to nudge her to get her attention.

“Dashie? Are you okay?” she tilted her head. Seeing that her nervousness was making Pinkie even more uneasy, she mentally slapped herself to regain her composure.

“Yeah! I'm all good!” Rainbow replied with far more enthusiasm than necessary.

“If you say so...” Pinkie eyed her with suspicion. “Like I was saying, I could use your help.”

“Sure! Anything for my best buddy!” Rainbow grinned, completely ready to atone for some horrible sin she couldn't even remember committing.

Pinkie pointed down at the confection that sat between them. “Would you try this cupcake?”

Rainbow also looked down, relieved and confused all at once. After blinking a couple of times, she looked back up and nodded. “Absolutely!” She began dropping her head to take a bite out of the cupcake, but Pinkie's behavior distracted her. The pink pony became increasingly nervous as Rainbow's mouth approached the treat. Her eyes grew wide and her lips parted slightly, revealing that her teeth were clenched. An inch away from the cupcake, Rainbow stopped.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, her eyes looking up at Pinkie.

“Nope! Not a thing! Please, go ahead! Please?” she replied forcefully, the squeaky inflection in that last 'please' making Rainbow feel suddenly unsettled.

“Yeah...okay, then,” she blinked. Finally, she took a bite out of the cupcake, lifting her head up again.

If the look on Pinkie's face had been odd on the way down, it was ten times worse now that they were eye to eye. She leaned forward, staring as though her very life hung in the balance of every chewing motion. Rainbow felt utterly terrified, because the cupcake wasn't very good.

I can't tell her the truth, it'll make her mad at me again...I haven't even made up for the first thing I did or didn't do!

“It's delicious!” she lied happily, exaggerating her chews in the hopes that Pinkie would get happy and bounce around, giving her a chance to spit the awful thing out.

The pink pony saw right through her almost instantaneously. “Then why aren't you swallowing it?”

Oh Celestia, I am completely screwed. “Uh...because it's so great, I want to savor it!” she lied again, adding a huge smile for effect. When Pinkie began to glare at her, she actually started to tremble a little.

“I can't believe you'd lie to me, Dashie!” she huffed, stomping a hoof on the floor. “Tell me how it tastes, really!”

Rainbow could no longer bear the strain. She decided to throw herself on the mercies of her hyperactive friend. With a loud gulp to clear her mouth, Rainbow dropped to the floor and unleashed a tidal wave of words that took Pinkie by surprise.

“It tastes like paint thinner and tree sap and milk that's gone bad but I'm glad that you made it for me and I accept it and I'm really really really sorry for that thing that I did to you that I can't remember and I hope you're not mad at me for this new thing but I promise you I'll make up for both of them so please please forgive me!” she wailed, partially shocked that she could even store that much air in her lungs.

Pinkie had to take a few seconds to process all that. Rainbow took her silence as denial of her apology, and stared at her with pleading eyes while she collected her thoughts.

“What thing that you did to me that you can't remember?” she finally asked, blinking down at the pegasus.

“The thing!” Rainbow said, waving a hoof around wildly. “The thing that's made you act all weird for the past week!”

Pinkie tapped her chin. “I don't remember it either!”

Rainbow felt safe enough to stand, blinking with confusion. “...what? Then...then why is it so gloomy in here? Why have you been so edgy? Why were you freaking out while you watched me trying this cupcake?”

“Becaaaaaaause,” Pinkie began, charging up for her own verbal tsunami, “I've been thinking up a new cupcake recipe but if it was bad I'd get in huge trouble again so I was really nervous about not screwing up and I got all weird and...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.”

“Why didn't you just tell me that?” Rainbow said, her foreleg colliding with her forehead. “I was seriously freaking out!”

“I didn't think it was important...” Pinkie replied, shifting around on her hooves uncomfortably.

“You're my friend, everything that bothers you is important,” Rainbow smiled, throwing a hoof around her shoulder. “But...uh...that was an awful cupcake.”

Pinkie giggled. “At least I caught it before it got to the customers this time!”

“This time?” Rainbow looked at her, curious.

“...remember the baked bads?”

“That was Sleepyjack's fault,” Rainbow said, smirking at the memory.

“I know, but I got in huge trouble because I sorta kinda possibly may not have actually checked after her work like I was supposed to before we started baking them?” Pinkie giggled nervously. “So...yeah. I was super nervous about this one. This is kind of my livelihood I'm talking about here.”

“That's why you were so nervous?” Rainbow asked, moving to stand in front of the pink pony again. Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. “You sure are serious about baking.”

A frown spread across her face. “But I failed at it...does it really taste that bad?”

“Yeah...it's...terrible,” Rainbow nodded, making a face at the partially-eaten treat.

“Oh well, I can just try again!” Pinkie blurted out happily, bouncing around so she could open all the curtains. As she descended the stairs, Rainbow fell in behind to follow her.

“So, where are the Cakes?” she asked, once they'd reached the shop floor.

“It's Sunday, silly! We're closed. I just left the front door open 'cause I saw you walking here and not flying.”

“Oh...right,” she sighed at herself.

Pinkie suddenly stopped just before reaching the kitchen, turning to face her friend.

“Dashie...how do you even know what paint thinner tastes like?”

The pegasus stared blankly at her for a while as that story appeared and was dismissed in her mind.

“Don't ask.”

Author's Note

This was an idea that would not go away until I wrote it down, so here it is. It's me poking fun at the opening of the infamous 'Cupcakes' fanfic, adding all of the ominousness I thought that story lacked (I hope). It was my intention to have a sort of reverse effect, causing the reader to be unsettled and then yanking the rug out from under them with a mundane, anti-climatic punchline.

Anyway, it's a nice change of pace from my other work (which is all Extremely Serious), and I hope you got a chuckle out of reading it as I did writing it.