Fluttershy was crying.
Crying wasn't exactly a foreign concept for her. Ever since she had started to get more depressed, crying was a daily occurrence. She sobbed harder and looked at the clock. Nine-thirty.
"Rainbow should b-be here soon," she managed to choke out. Nopony heard her, save Angel. She loved that little bunny, even if he was a bit mean to her sometimes. Okay, a lot of the time. She sniffed. "Even my own rabbit thinks I'm a nuisance."
It was raining hard. The weather pegasi usually weren't terribly organized without Rainbow Dash, but they had done a good job. Rain. Lots and lots of rain. It poured down her window, mimicking her tears. She glanced at her nightstand. Two things sat on top of it.
A battered music player, and a tissue box. She took a tissue and wiped her face and eyes. Rainbow was normally here by now, sitting with her and giving her a shoulder to cry on. She let Rainbow cry on her shoulder, too. They would talk for hours about their lives, the gossip floating through town, or in the case of one night, debating the merits of alcoholic versus non-alcoholic cider, which had made her laugh. Thinking back, that was the first time in a few weeks that she had laughed, and it wasn't forced. Another deep sigh and a glance at the clock revealed that it was nearly ten. Maybe she was running late.
Rainbow had suffered a falling-out with her father. Only Fluttershy knew why; she had come out and told her brother and father that she was into mares. One long shouting match later, Rainbow had ran out of the house, came back to Ponyville, and told Fluttershy everything. It was one of the only times Rainbow needed her shoulder more than Fluttershy needed hers. Since then, her father had hauled her off to a family counselor, and Rainbow had to go and visit with her father, try to "talk things out", once a month at the very least. This was the first visit.
Sitting next to her bed was an old red saddlebag with the names of various metal bands scrawled on it in black ink. It was a memoir from high school, and she could distinctly make out the long-since-faded names that had also been written on it, smiling as she saw the little lightning bolt Rainbow Dash used to dot her "I's" with.
She picked up the bag, tossing a few bits as well as her music into it. Maybe if she was lucky, she could meet Rainbow at the train station, and they could walk to her house together. The thought gave her a little bit of hope.
She stuck a note to the door for Derpy or some salespony. Gone out. Be back later. -Fluttershy. As she stepped out from under the little roof above her front door, she instantly became soaked. She heaved a sigh and headed into town, not bothering to get an umbrella. Feeling resigned to her rain-drenched fate, she trudged along, until she was jolted out of her reverie by the fierce knocking of a pony's hoof on glass.
"Fluttershy, what are you doing out here without an umbrella? Come in here!" The words on Pinkie Pie's large sign blared. Pinkie opened the door and gestured for Fluttershy to enter, waving one hoof wildly. Fluttershy ran in, glad for an escape from the free shower, and shook herself dry, soaking Pinkie in the process. "Sorry, Pinkie."
"No problem! Let me get you something to eat." Pinkie bounced off into the kitchen. "Sit down! When was the last decent meal you had?" Fluttershy settled down at the bar. A job as an animal caretaker did not pay much, and she often had to be thrifty in order to make the cheap groceries she could buy last. This thought made her heart sink further. "I don't know, I think a few days ago."
Pinkie let out a loud gasp. "That simply won't do at all! I swear, you can be so proud about some things." She tutted and served up a sandwich. It wasn't sugary, it didn't have any form of candy in it. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash had both worked hard to keep Fluttershy on her hooves since her parents had died, and she had sunk into depression. The three ponies had formed a kind of family by now, and little gestures like these showed Flutters how much Pinkie truly cared. Tears started to form in the corners of her eyes.
"Don't cry, my Fluttershy." Pinkie patted her on the shoulder, her aqua blue orbs staring into Fluttershy's own.
"Isn't Dashie coming back from Cloudsdale today?"
Fluttershy sniffed and nodded. "Mhm. I was going to head to the train station and pick her up, then we could go to my house together." She took a bite of her sandwich.
"That so?" Pinkie shot Fluttershy a sultry glance. "You two come up with a safe word yet?"
Fluttershy coughed and her face turned red. "Pinkie, get your mind out of the gutter! You know what I mean!"
Pinkie giggled. "I do. I'm sorry. How's about we both go, and we could all have a little mini-party down here at the Corner?" She jumped for joy.
"That sounds wonderful, Pinks. Let's go."
Fluttershy slipped her saddlebag on, and Pinkie got an umbrella. Flutters had to run to catch up with Pinkie's fast and cheerful bouncing. She was amazed Pinkie didn't seem to be tired either, considering it was past ten thirty at night. Pinkie skidded to a stop a few feet from the station and started bouncing up and down and waving. "Dash! Dashie! We're over here!"
Fluttershy could see the tired cyan pegasus leave the station and spot Pinkie. Rainbow's eyes rested on hers for a moment, then she ran over to Fluttershy and Pinkie. "Hi, guys!" They group hugged.
"How was Cloudsdale, Dashie?" Pinkie bounced alongside Rainbow Dash as the three made their way back to Sugarcube Corner.
"What started as a civilized conversation turned into another shouting match, and I got kicked out of the cafe." Rainbow stated flatly.
Pinkie stopped bouncing. "Oh. Well, me and Flutters have planned the perfect thing to lift your spirits! Didn't we, 'Shy?" She glanced at Flutters.
"Pinkie thought we could have a mini-party at Sugarcube Corner to celebrate you coming back. It isn't the same without one member of our family." Fluttershy wore a small smile.
"Sounds good to me. I feel like loosening up a bit. I've missed my girls." Rainbow walked a little closer to Fluttershy, who snuggled up against her. Pinkie pushed open the door.
"Guess what I have?" She sang. "In this refrigerator, I have...." She did her best to make drumroll noises with her mouth, and when that failed, she just took a bottle out of the fridge and held it up in triumph. "Apple family cider!" She crowed.
"Where are you at?!" Rainbow Dash took the bottle and cradled it with reverence, as if it were the most divine of nectars.
Pinkie Pie winked. "Connections. Granny Smith gave it to me! Lemme get some cups..." She rummaged around in a cupboard and produced three glasses, each of which she filled with a generous measure of the honey-colored liquid. "Now I shall make sammiches." She put away the bottle and busied herself with making sandwiches for herself and the other two mares.
Rainbow studied Fluttershy. "Pinkie Pie been treating you well?"
Fluttershy nodded. "She's been feeding me." Pinkie set a sandwich down in front of her and gave her a hug.
"Good thing I was, too. She's been leaning less toward skinny and more toward malnourished." Fluttershy glanced at herself in the window. She didn't think she was that thin.....
"I'm sure she didn't get that skinny." Rainbow waved off Pinkie's comment and sat closer to 'Shy. "You wouldn't let her."
Pinkie's expression turned serious. "Speaking of Fluttershy, there's something I want to talk to you about." She sat down at the little table they were using, and passed Fluttershy a little rectangle of parchment. Flutters read it.
"Ocean Waves, professional therapist, located at 289 Chestnut Road." She glanced up at Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. Rainbow was biting her lip, and Pinkie Pie was wearing a concerned smile.
"I haven't been able to make you smile a whole lot ever since the thing happened. I've met Ocean, and she's really nice. I think it would be good for you to go see her. If you want me or Rainbow to come with you to your first meeting with her, then I'd be happy to."
Fluttershy stared at the card. She'd never considered a therapist.... Truth be told, she was too shy to talk to anypony outside of her friends. She glanced back up at Pinkie and Rainbow.... They wanted what was best for her, and they had done so much to try and make her happy, even on the worst of days. When she had a good day, they would celebrate. When she had a bad one, they were there for her. She knew everypony out of their six cared for one another equally, but these two seemed more like her family and less like her friends. She would do it. For them.
"I'll do it, I'll talk to this Ocean Waves. I'd like to go by myself, though. Thanks for giving me her card, Pinkie."
"No trouble, Fluttershy." Pinkie gave her a nuzzle.
Rainbow Dash let out a loud yawn. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to clock out. It was awesome being able to see you two again." She nuzzled them both, lingering a little longer with Fluttershy's, then took off for her cloud home.
Pinkie waved enthusiastically. "Bye, Dashie!" She turned to Fluttershy. "You going too?"
"Mhm. Bye, Pinkie."
She waved to Pinkie, and headed home, the rain having left by now. It was almost dawn, a smudge of indigo along the horizon. She set off home at a light jog, shivering a bit once she was inside. She poured food into each of her animals' bowls, then headed upstairs. She sighed, collapsing on her bed, then looking out the window at the night sky, Dash's cloud home barely back-lit by the moon. As she closed her eyes, her last thought before falling asleep was;
"I've taken my friends for granted over the past few months. As I've grown more depressed, they've still stuck by me. And now Pinkie gave me that card....They're wonderful friends, please Luna, don't make them leave me. My parents are gone, I don't think I could bear it if I lost them."
Author's Note
I was originally going to have a razor sit on Fluttershy's nightstand, but I decided that would start this story down a long rabbit hole of darkfic territory. Comment if you do want me to add a dark tag and teen rating, though. Also, why is the Sad tag pink?
Fluttershy stood in front of the door. She checked the address for the third time. This was the right house. She took a deep breath and rapped on the door. A pale blue unicorn with a floaty mane in light blues and purples answered it. Her cutie mark was a purple peace symbol, and her eyes were kind. A clipboard floated beside her, enveloped in purple magic.
"Hello, my name is Ocean Waves, and you must be Fluttershy. Pinkie Pie told me about you."
"Yes, she recommended that I come see you." Fluttershy stepped inside. There were two comfortable-looking chairs with a small table in between them. Ocean Waves sat down in one of them, and Fluttershy took the other.
"Now, I understand that you've been very depressed as of late since your mother recently passed?" Ocean's voice was kind, but it still ripped open a gash in Fluttershy's heart, and tears began to form. She nodded. Ocean took the invitation to shut up about the topic. "So, how have you been dealing with this on your own?"
In a small voice, Fluttershy responded. "Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie both work hard to take care of me, make sure I don't harm myself, or do something equally stupid because I'm so sad. We have a kind of little family together, and it's nice. And there's also my music." She closed her eyes and allowed a fleeting smile to cross her face. "Along with my 'family', my music keeps me sane."
"Interesting." Ocean scribbled a little note on her clipboard.
"What kind of music?"
"Calm, wordless easy-listening music is nice, some country, and punk music. Punk, metal, grunge. I don't know why I like it, I just do." Fluttershy blushed at Ocean's pleasantly surprised expression.
"I didn't take you for a metal fan, Fluttershy." Ocean Waves smiled. "Can you tell me more about your relationship with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie?"
"Rainbow Dash was my friend since flight camp, and Pinkie Pie I met around the time I first moved to Ponyville." Fluttershy answered, starting to open up a little more.
"Okay. So, on a scale of one to ten, how would you describe your life, ten being going along perfectly, and one being the worst it's ever been?"
"I think....four or five, six on a really good day."
Ocean nodded and made another little scribble. "What tends to make you feel better, other than your music?"
Fluttershy attempted to hide behind her mane. In a quiet, shuddering voice, she said "My evening talks with Rainbow Dash."
Ocean raised one eyebrow. "Evening talks?"
Flutters nodded. "She comes over to my house in the evenings, and we'll spend hours talking, sometimes we'll even have impromptu sleepovers." She blushed and smiled.
"So, I take it Rainbow Dash makes you very happy."
Fluttershy nodded again.
"How about, starting tonight, you maybe talk about your depression with Rainbow Dash a little more, and see if she can help you. I think you'd be more willing to talk with her than with me." More nodding.
"So...I guess I'll be leaving now, then?"
Ocean Waves nodded. "See you next week, Fluttershy." She waved.
Fluttershy waved back, then headed out the door with subtle haste. As she closed the door and leaned up against it, Fluttershy was overwhelmed with a sense of victory.
"I did it. I went to a therapist. And I survived. Yay!"
She headed up to Rainbow Dash's house to tell her the news. She loved Rainbow's house. It looked like a sculpture, rainbow waterfalls spurting into the air and collecting in pools around her front door. Rainbow opened the door before Fluttershy even knocked. "Hi, Shy." They hugged. "Did you survive the therapist?"
Fluttershy nodded. "That's what I came here to tell you. The only thing is...." She pressed her face against Rainbow's chest, tears starting to form.
"Ripped open painful memories, am I right?" Rainbow soothed the yellow pegasus, slowly bringing her inside, then easing her onto a cloud sofa, letting Fluttershy cry into her cyan coat.
Flutters was full-on sobbing by now, Rainbow slowly stroking her wings and the area between them. "Shhh, shhh, it's okay, it'll be okay now, I've got you. You're safe."
Fluttershy sniffed and sat up. "S-she said t-that she understood I was d-depressed because of my mommy.....I know she didn't mean for that to hurt, but..."
"It still hurts." Rainbow sat next to Fluttershy and let her lean against her, gently stroking her side now. Fluttershy closed her eyes and briefly let her mind revisit that terrible night.....
"I'm sorry, Miss Fluttershy, but Dewdrop didn't make it."
Fluttershy could still remember that feeling of hollow emptiness. She had been visiting Cloudsdale with Rainbow Dash when the accident had happened. Her mother was at work, and they were supposed to go see her later.....No, she wanted to say, this can't be happening....But nopony would hear her over the clamor of bells and the yells of the workers trying to get other injured ponies to safety. But it didn't matter. She was so angry. They could save all the others, but they couldn't save the only pony who mattered!? Then she felt sad.
Now that mommy was gone....She had no parents. She slumped against the wall, her legs tucked underneath her. She buried her face in her wings and sobbed, barely listening to the platitudes Rainbow Dash was spewing in order to try and make her feel better.
Fluttershy coughed and choked out the last of her tears (For now, she thought.) and looked up at Rainbow Dash.
"What if I can never get over this? What if I'm doomed to being depressed forever?" She sniffled.
"Never say never, Shy." Rainbow gently whispered. "Me and Pinkie will be here for you. So will the rest of the girls. We won't let you hurt yourself, Flutters. I love you. In an entirely platonic way."
Fluttershy let out a half-sob, half-laugh kind of noise. "Same here."
They platonically cuddled on the sofa for a little bit, before Rainbow broke the silence. "You want a little something to drink, or eat?"
Fluttershy gave one last little sniff before nodding. "Sure. I'd really like a little cider or something right about now."
Rainbow gently eased off the sofa and headed to her kitchen, getting a small bottle of cider and pouring two measures of it, holding one out for Flutters. Fluttershy took it and sipped some, savoring the feel of the cool liquid tumbling down her throat. "Mmm."
They went back to the sofa after having their drinks, and resumed talking. Pinkie Pie had been working on a new flavor of Golden Delicious frosting that she wanted to use on dark chocolate cupcakes, Rainbow herself was trying to pull of a new trick she called the Aurora Starburst, and Fluttershy told Rainbow about the new litter of bouncing baby bunnies, her tales of their antics made Rainbow Dash laugh.
As they cuddled some more, saying nothing, just enjoying the feel of each other, Fluttershy whispered softly, "Are you certain that you'll never, ever leave me?"
"I'm certain, Fluttershy." Rainbow was half-asleep.
"Good. Because whatever you do, please, oh please, oh please, don't leave me. I need you, Rainbow Dash."
The last expression on both their faces before falling asleep was a contented smile.
Author's Note
Won't be platonic too much longer, Rainbow Dash....
Also, the Aurora Starburst. Remember that. It'll be important later.
