Books and Hats

by Featherheart

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Other, Adventure, Daring Do, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2250

Twilight Sparkle and the Quest for Daring Do and the Quest for the Chameleon Crystal

Twilight has a long history reading Daring Do; one that we don't know about. When her copy of her favorite book of the series goes missing, she remembers that reading, just like friendship, is magic.

Published 2012-03-16 16:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-16 16:54:01 UTC

Chapter 1: Missing Pieces

Twilight couldn't find her favorite book.

She misplaced books all the time, such was the hazard of having so many, but she knew where this one was. Or rather where it should be.

"SPIKE!" she yelled. Twilight knew that he wouldn't know where the book was either, but sometimes it was nice to have an outlet for her anger. She felt a little guilty for using him as a punching bag; but wasn't the point of having an assistant so he could assist her in every way possible? She heard his timid footsteps on the stairs. Without turning, she waited for him to respond.

"Y-yes, Twilight?"

"Spike, do you know where my copy of 'The Chameleon Caper' is?"

Twilight could practically hear him scratch his scaly head. "The what-y what-er?"

Stamping impatiently, she turned. "'Daring Do and the Chameleon Caper!' The best one of the series! My favorite book ever!"

"Ohhh. Umm… no, I haven't seen it… but…" He scratched his head again, blinking. "Hey, I thought that 'A History of Obscure Magicks' was your favorite book."

"SPIKE!" Twilight yelled. He never saw the point it seemed, always worrying about the wrong thing. "Do you have any idea how important that book is to me?"

"Yeah, I mean, you always talk about Starswirl and how great –"

"No, Spike! I mean 'The Chameleon Caper!' Twilight pawed at the ground anxiously and then turned to survey her collection of Daring Do adventure novels. Maybe she had overlooked it…

There was "The Bear's Bride," an adventure-romance, which Twilight had read after her first heartbreak. "The Griffon's Goblet," an adventure-comedy that had taught Twilight how to act around Gilda when she met her. "The Forbidden Fortress," Twilight remembered crying at the end of that one because she thought Daring had died. And, of course, "The Sapphire Stone," the first in the series, and the one that Twilight leant to…

"Rainbow Dash." Twilight growled.

Daring Do couldn't find her favorite hat.

Sure, she had tons of hats, and they all looked identical. But there was one that stood out to her, one that got her through every scrape. A lucky hat of sorts, if Daring believed in luck. In her line of business, though, it was all skill.

"Indy!" Daring called to her assistant. She kept her eyes riveted on the open closet. She heard the patter of tiny feet behind her, but didn't turn. "Do you know where my hat is, Indy?"

No response. Not that she was expecting one. Daring turned to face her companion and received a lick to the face. "Awww, my wittle Indy," she cooed at her pet dog. "You didn't take momma's hat, didja?" Indy straightened up and cocked his head to the side. "Didja, didja?" she giggled, scratching him with her hoof.

A noise in the doorway startled Daring. Whirling around, she reached for her bullwhip, only to realize that she was unarmed. The source of the noise turned out to be friendly, though. An older purple unicorn stood in the doorway of Daring's room, awkwardly shuffling on his hooves.

"Hey Professor Plum." Daring wasn't phased by his intrusion. She'd been caught in much more awkward situations than baby talking her dog. "How can I help ya?"

The stallion cleared his throat, obviously trying to command respect. Unfortunately for him, respect had never been Daring's forte. "Professor Do. It has come to our attention. That the Neighzis. Are closing in on. The elusive. Chameleon crystal." Daring wondered if his staccato way of talking was also a way to garner attention. She could never tell when he was done speaking, so she usually just went ahead and talked.

"Let me guess. The Society for Equestrian Culture wants me to go and 'use whatever force necessary to preserve this priceless artifact.'" Plum nodded and Daring sighed. "You all do know that archaeology and treasure hunting aren't the same thing, right?"

"Professor Do. We've discussed this before. If these artifacts. Are not acquired. They will be used. For evil. Furthermore…"

"Furthermore, potential harm may come to the artifacts, which will surely lower their archaeological, anthropological, historical, and cultural value even more than displacing them," Daring recited. "Yeah, yeah. I remember." She turned to her closet, signifying the end of the discussion.

"Meet me. In the library. In one hour." Plum barked. Indy barked right back, making Daring giggle. With a huff, the old professor was gone.

Daring surveyed her hats, hoping that she had overlooked her favorite one. Still no luck. "I could really use you," she muttered to it, wherever it was. With a sigh she reached for another hat. As she lowered it to her head, a piece of paper fluttered to the ground. Furrowing her brow, Daring read the hastily scrawled words on it:

"IOU one hat. – A."

"Ahuitzotl." Daring growled.

Dead Ends

The sun beat down on Twilight as if Celestia herself was against this mission. Each hoof beat against the hard ground echoed her heart, longing for the one thing that could bring her solace…
“What thing?”
Twilight jumped at the voice that interrupted her reverie. “WAHHHH!” she shouted, leaping into the air. She landed on her back, facing the speaker. “Pinkie Pie! You scared me half to death!”
Pinkie examined Twilight, poking behind her ears, under her eyes, in her mouth. “Neh, only about a quarter I’d say. If you were half dead you’d look like this.” She lolled her tongue out and fluttered her eyes.
Twilight groaned and turned away from the earth pony. Unperturbed, Pinkie bounced behind the unicorn as she restarted towards the main part of Ponyville, slower this time.
“So, Twilight.”
Twilight didn’t respond.
“Twilight. Hey, Twilight. Twilighttttt. Twiligghttt Sparrrrkleeee. Twiiiiiiiiiii—”
“WHAT?!” Twilight growled, flipping around to face the earth pony. She blinked in surprised; Pinkie was nowhere to be found. Breathing a sigh of relief, she turned around to continue her trek to Ponyville.
Only to be met by the face of the pink pony.
Twilight gave another yelp, but didn’t jump this time. Pinkie grinned.
“You must be getting used to me! That’s awesome.” Twilight started trotting again with Pinkie Pie hot on her heels, still chattering. “Of course, it means I’ll have to start switching it up. And I do love switching it up. Oh! I know! Maybe I’ll start acting like Fluttershy. Wouldn’t that be funny?! Could you imagine me being all ‘Um… well…?’ Could you? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s just soooo un-Pinkie! But anyway Twilight, you didn’t answer my question.”
“What question, Pinkie?” Twilight asked in a monotone voice.
“What thing?”
“What thing what?” Twilight didn’t even bother stopping. The sooner she got to Ponyville the sooner she could get rid of Pinkie.
“What thing can bring you solace?”
At this, Twilight actually did come to a halt. “My book,” she muttered. She had almost forgotten about it, as eager as she was to shake Pinkie. “Wait, how did you know about that?”
“You were narrating again. You do that sometimes.”
“Narrating?”
“Yeah, under your breath. You were saying that you were ‘longing for the one thing that could bring her solace.’ In the third person and everything.”
Twilight brought a hoof to her face. “Do I do that a lot, Pinkie?”
“Honestly?”
Twilight nodded, cringing.
“Yeah. But it’s no big deal! Everypony thinks out loud sometimes. Very few do it so… eloquently!”
Twilight smiled at her friend. “Thanks, Pinkie. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a book to find.” She cantered off as Pinkie bounced in the opposite direction, probably heading to get into some shenanigans with Rainbow Dash.
“Now to find that book!” Twilight muttered to herself, suddenly very conscious about all the words that left her mouth. As she passed Rarity’s boutique, something hit her. “I’ve missed something.” Sitting down, she closed her eyes and reviewed everything that had just happened.
She had set out from the library to head to the middle of town. Spike had told her to be careful and to watch out for zombie ponies. She had almost run over the Cutie Mark Crusaders as she galloped off. Pinkie Pie delayed her, told her about her bad habit of muttering under her breath and then had bounced off as suddenly as she had come. Then she had come here and remembered… something.
“There’s something… something…” she muttered to herself.
“Something is right, darling.” Rarity’s voice caused Twilight’s eyes to snap open.
“Rarity! I didn’t see you there!”
“Quite alright, dear. I hope I didn’t interrupt…?”
Twilight’s face fell in disappointment. “Was I thinking out loud?”
Rarity nodded. “But it’s quite alright dear! I was as well.” She gestured towards Twilight’s left. “Those two are up to something.”
Twilight followed Rarity’s hoof to see Pinkie Pie smiling up at a blue pegasus.
Pinkie Pie was always hanging out with Rainbow Dash!
“That’s it!” Twilight shouted, leaping up and bolting towards the duo. As she neared, Rainbow Dash nervously glanced at her and raced off.
With a groan of frustration, Twilight skidded to a stop beside Pinkie Pie.
“Shoot.”
“What’s wrong, Twi?” Pinkie asked, the picture of innocence.
Twilight turned accusing eyes to the pink pony. “Do you know where Rainbow’s off to? Why she sped away so fast?”
“Yep.”
Twilight blinked at Pinkie as the earth pony smiled politely. A moment of silence passed between the two.
“Well… can you tell me?”
“Nope.”
Twilight gave her friend an exasperated look. “Pinkie Pie.”
“Twilight, I made a Pinkie Promise! Nopony breaks a Pinkie Promise. Not even Pinkie Pie!”
“Please, Pinkie Pie, this is really important.” Twilight pawed at the ground, her anger slowly turning into despair.
“I know Twilight, but losing a friend’s trust is the…”
“The fastest way to lose a friend.”
“FOREVER!” Pinkie cried. She smiled apologetically at Twilight. “Sorry, but it’s true.”
Twilight nodded. “I’m not mad. You stick to your principles.” She bowed her head and walked off mournfully.
“Looks like this is a dead end…”

“Looks like this is a dead end, Daring Do!”
“You wish, Ahuitzotl!”
It was a wall covered in snakes. Why did it have to be snakes? But Daring could get out of it somehow. She turned around to see Ahuitzotl’s pack of cats coming towards her. Snakes or cats. Which one, Daring?
A break in the pack opened up as the tiny kitten charged forward. They’ll never learn. With a coy smile, Daring leapt for the hole. As she opened her wings to sail through the gap, a hand reached down and caught her. Struggling against the grasp, Daring kicked and squirmed.
Ahuitzotl laughed maniacally at her efforts. “Try all you want, Daring Do! You will not escape me this time!” He threw her down into a waiting cage, and banged the door shut. “Now, Daring Do. Tell me why you so rudely invaded my home and ruined my afternoon.”
Daring glared up at Ahuitzotl in defiance. “You know why I came Ahuitzotl!”
The monstrous villain blinked at her as she stared at him accusingly. “Actually, I have no idea. Please, enlighten me.” He leaned back on his giant throne.
Daring banged her hooves against the bars. “You stole my hat, you nasty-smelling son of a –”
“A hat? All this about a hat?” Ahuitzotl laughed, writhing on his seat. The cats gathered around him stared at him as he giggled. When he straightened up, he had tears in his eyes. “Daring Do, the famous adventurer. I would think that a treasure hunter like you could find your hat!”
“I’m not a treasure hunter… I’m an archaeologist.” Daring grumbled as her archenemy was struck by another fit of chuckling.
“Well then maybe that’s your problem! You couldn’t dig up what’s already on your head!”
Any further laughing was interrupted by a blow to the head. Daring had found a rock in her cage and had pelted Ahuitzotl with it.
“Or maybe I couldn’t find my favorite hat because you had stolen it!” she growled.
Ahuitzotl glared down at Daring Do with contempt. The tense moment seemed to last a lifetime. It ended as Ahuitzotl snapped his fingers, summoning the tiny white kitten to him. He stroked it as he stared down at the adventurer.
“I’ve stolen a lot of things from you, Daring Do, but I have never taken your hat.” He stood up. “However,” he started, sticking his face close to the bars. Daring could smell his foul breath. “Since you are so passionate about this… hat, I think I’ll set you free to find it.” With his tail hand, Ahuitzotl drew a key and unlocked the cage.
Daring blinked up at him as he opened the door. “You’re just letting me go?”
Ahuitzotl shrugged. “This was all just a misunderstanding. Although I am very offended that you assumed that it was I who had stolen it.” He huffed dramatically.
“No, Ahuitzotl. You hate me. I’m Daring Do, your archenemy.”
“And I am letting you free. You should take this opportunity before I change my mind.”
Without another word, Daring spread her wings and took off for the skies and freedom. As she flew off, she heard Ahuitzotl’s maniacal laugh.
“He’s up to something…” she muttered. But she couldn’t dwell on it now. She had a crystal to save from the Neighzis, and a hat to find.
“Let’s do this.” With a final adjustment to her slightly-less-lucky hat, Daring Do dashed off into the sunset.