Fluttershy Goes to the Dentist

by housedoc

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Colgate, Comedy, Fluttershy
Length: 1421

Fluttershy goes to Colgate to get her remaining bat fang filed down after some traumatic experiences.

Fluttershy goes to Colgate to get her remaining bat fang filed down after some traumatic experiences. Colgate sort of becomes a therapist.

Written for EQD's Writer's Training Grounds #001: ”Bats!”

Published 2013-12-31 22:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-31 22:00:03 UTC

Chapter 1

Fluttershy sat in a dull, grey couch in the dentist's waiting room. She was bored.

To pass the time, she picked up a well-read fashion magazine from a pile on the side table, and started leafing through it. The first article she came across caused her to do a double-take. It was a full spread photo of herself in a weird dress, looking as shy and uncomfortable as she felt right then by looking at the picture. The photo was from the time she had worked as a model for Photo Finish. Fluttershy looked at the cover of the magazine. It was well over a year old. She sighed and placed the magazine back on the pile of equally non-current issues.

She remembered the horrors of her brief fame. To this day, she still had to suffer from it at times. Occasionally, somepony would recognize her on the streets, or send her fan mail asking for autographed photos of her. Sometimes the letters she got were quite... straight-forward. She always felt rude when she neglected them, though. Once, she now recalled, she even got a fan letter from... Oh, no! Not him. That fact just makes my current problems even worse.

“Fluttershy?” a voice called from across the room.

“Eeek!!” Fluttershy, suddenly torn from her thoughts, jumped out of the couch.

“Uh, sorry, but... the doctor will see you now,” the nurse said with a worried look.

Fluttershy was still catching her breath.

“Oh... OH! Uh... yes, of course. Sorry,” Fluttershy said meekly, and followed the nurse through a corridor.

As they were opening the door to the dentist's office, a pink pony wearing a huge grin emerged from the room.

“Oh, hi there Pinkie Pie!” Fluttershy said after spotting her friend.

“Teeheehe! Hi Fluttershy! Hahahah!” Pinkie said with an insane smile, and continued towards the exit. Had it been any other pony, Fluttershy would have questioned the behavior. Instead, she just shrugged and entered the office.

“Hello there, Miss Fluttershy! How are you today?” Colgate cheerfully smiled with her perfectly white set of teeth. She was still finishing up from her previous patient. She was levitating a gas mask connected with a tube to a large tank.

“I'm fine thank you. Well, apart from a few problems with...” Fluttershy answered.

“Glad to hear! Please take a seat and tell me all about it.”

Fluttershy sat down on the dental chair in the middle of the room. Colgate hung the mask on a hook.

“Uhm, well I... I don't know where to begin...”

“How about you begin with your teeth?”

“Oh, right. Well, that is also a bit... weird.”

“Well, it won't be any worse than my last patient.”

“You mean Pinkie Pie?”

“Ah yes, you're her friend, right? Well, I'm sorry to say this but she has horrible teeth, way too much sugar! Looots of cavities. I had to put her under the laughing gas to work on her. With Pinkie, it's hard to know if it's taking effect, though. So don't worry. I've seen it all when it comes to dental issues, trust me.”

Fluttershy was not so sure she had. Well, here goes...

“I want to get my fang filed down.”

Colgate stared with confusion at Fluttershy.

“Y- your fang?”

“Yes, I've got a fang, and I want it filed down, because I believe it is causing me a lot of problems.”

“But Fluttershy, ponies don't have fangs. Do you mean your hook tooth, or canines? I never forget a set of teeth, and the last time I checked your mouth you didn't have a fang in there. Do you mean you've chipped a tooth or something?”

Fluttershy opened wide. Colgate peered in, and saw something unbelievable. She levitated a small mirror into Fluttershy's oral cavity.

“I've never seen anything like it. What did this to you?!”

“It was only by accident. A spell that backfired.”

Colgate sighed, still staring into Fluttershy's mouth. “Well, that figures. You know, magic is a pain in the flank for us in the field of medicine. Makes diagnosing hell. But I shouldn't complain, being a unicorn sure makes the hygiene easier.” She levitated the mirror in front of Fluttershy's eyes to demonstrate. “But anyway, what sort of spell was it, if I may ask?”

“One that... turned me into a vampire fruit bat,” Fluttershy said, blushing.

Colgate just stared blankly with an open mouth. She had to really focus all her inner strength to keep herself from laughing uncontrollably.

“Whooho- ahem... who... who did it?”

“Twilight Sparkle...”

“The princess?! But she is so orderly and smart. She has such cute... I mean, clean teeth! Always brushes very rigorously morning and night.”

“It was only an accident! And she reversed the spell later.”

Colgate frowned. “You mean, tried to reverse the spell?”

“Yes, it seems like... it didn't quite work.” Fluttershy sighed deeply.

“Well, no worries! We can file down that tooth in a jiffy.”

That didn't manage to cheer Fluttershy up. “That's great, but... it goes beyond just the tooth. In fact, the tooth is the least of my problems.” She now looked sadder than before.

Colgate frowned. She lowered the back rest of the dental chair to make Fluttershy more comfortable, and sat herself on a stool beside it.

“Go on, tell me about it. It's all confidential in here.”

Fluttershy yet again sighed deeply. Just then, her heightened sense of hearing made her ears perk up. “Wait, what's that hissing sound?”

“Hm? I can't hear anything. Maybe it's just the dental engine... or perhaps it's another bat calling for you? Now, tell me what's bothering you.”

“I've had these... cravings. Uncontrollable cravings,” Fluttershy said, staring into the ceiling.

“For what? Sorry, maybe it's... delicate? It's okay if you don't want to tell me...”

“Apples!”

“Apples?”

“Yes, apples. You know, because of the fruit bat thing.”

“Ah, I see... But, is that really such big of an issue? You just really love apples now.”

“Yes! It's horrible!” Fluttershy's eyes started to water. “A few days ago, I was at the market to buy some groceries. But as soon as I noticed the scent of the apple stand, I started to lose my mind! I had to run off to another part of town, so I wouldn't suck the juice out of AJ's entire apple stock!”

“Wow, it's that bad huh?” Colgate tried hard not to smirk. Somehow, she found this entire story quite amusing.

“It's gets even WORSE! I ran off, far away from any apples, I thought. But when I stopped to catch my breath and gather my senses, guess who happens to walk by?”

“I don...”

“Big Macintosh!”

“Oh, yes, Big Mac, I know him. The apple farmer. His teeth are quite... rustic?”

“Well, his entire body reeked of apples! My mind went crazy! I couldn't control myself! I ran up to him and... bit him! In the flank!”

Fluttershy started crying.

Just then, Colgate gave up, and caved in.

“Pffff- Ahahahahahahaaah!! I'm so sorry, this is very unprofessional of me! I don't mean any disrespect for your personal issues, but they are just so... funny! Please, go on. You bit him in the flank!?”

Fluttershy glared at Colgate with wet eyes. She did not find the story quite as funny herself. “Yes! Straight on his cutie mark!”

“Haha! Oh no! Wait... B- because it looks like an apple?!”

“Yes!”

“BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!” Colgate almost fell off her chair.

Fluttershy tried to ignore Colgate's roaring laughter. “And well... he sort of... took my bite the wrong way, so now he keeps chasing after me! He won't leave me alone! This morning he sent me a bouquet of roses with a lewd greeting card.”

Colgate was now on the floor, rolling around, laughing like a madpony.

Fluttershy felt her annoyance melting away.

“Teehee... I guess it is kind of funny, isn't it? Hahaha...”

The two ponies shared a good laugh, which escalated for several minutes. Finally, Fluttershy managed to say something.

“Hahaha, you know what, Colgate? You should be a therapist instead. I feel so much better now. Thank you,” she said with a big smile, all her worries gone...

...until the nitrous oxide tank was empty.

END

Author's Note

You've just read my first ever finished and published fanfic. Thank you!

This was written for Equestria Daily's Writer's Training Grounds #001: ”Bats!”
I learned two things from writing this: 1,500 words is not very much, and two days is not a lot of time to write.