A Month of Safety

"No, I'm serious!" Jake continued. "There's plenty of proof! Just look around! Haven't you ever wondered why Equestria hasn't had a major war in centuries? They can't have that kind of violence in a kid's show, that's why!"

"Gee, with all these conspiracy theories, you're startin' to sound like Lucky Strike." Applejack replied with a laugh.

Meanwhile, about 20 miles away, a certain pegasus stroked his goatee, pondering why he'd experienced such a sudden wave of indigence.

Jake sighed. "So basically you think my theory's just a bunch of-"

Suddenly a train pulled up to the station with a loud hiss, cutting off his thought.

He blinked in surprise, but quickly recovered.

"See?" He exclaimed triumphantly. "Now the show's censoring me!"

Applejack rolled her eyes.

"Fine. Still not convinced? Let me try again. What the--"

Jake was promptly interrupted by a cat to the face.

"Opalescence, no!" Rarity exclaimed.

"Get this thing off me!!" Jake yelled. "Where the hay did you come from, anyway?"

Cartoon violence, cartoon logic. Jake was more sure of his theory than ever.