Calmare Nightmare

An old cart stopped alongside the isolated town of Calmare, the drop-off point being a small area paved out with cobblestone.   A unicorn mare, a Ponyville citizen by the name of Rarity, gracefully descended from the cart, luggage strapped to her saddle bags or being carried by magic.   Rarity had three travel bags, one for apparel, personal items and food, respectively.   The journey had been quite extensive as it took three and a half days just to get to the reclusive town.   She had whittled down her food supply to half a pie she had received from Applejack before her lengthy departure.

“Thank you gentlecolts, I can take it from here,” Rarity said, giving enough girth for the cart to turn around.   Instead of a reply, as any reasonable pony would have expected, the two stallions quickly galloped away.   Rarity stood confusedly at the scene, wondering why they could’ve taken off so quickly without so much as a farewell.   Regardless of the minor lapse of manners on their part it was quite cold out and judging by the overcast above, Calmare was scheduled to have heavy rainfall.

Rarity trotted forward, regarding the iron gate before her.   Why any town needed to have such a large gate and fence around it baffled her.   Calmare was surrounded by forests and hills, perhaps the needed the fences to keep out predators?   While this was a logical assumption, it raised further questions.   Firstly, if it was so dangerous to settle there, why bother settling there?   Secondly, if it was dangerous enough to warrant the construction of an iron fence around the perimeter, why not go one step further in safety and build a defendable wall?   Thirdly, being bordered on the Everfree, why didn’t Ponyville have a wall or a fence?   These questions were given little thought as Rarity passed through the opened gate, but still bothered her.

The town, from what she could see at that time, was relatively small.   No bigger than Ponyville, unless there was more over the hill.   Perhaps it was good that the town was so small, Twilight had written that there were roughly two hundred ponies with only three or four family trees.   Rarity shuddered momentarily at the connotations behind that statement and started looking for an inn to take residence in.   She glanced to her left across the river, noticing an old temple along with the wooden bridge that led to it.   Continuing to pan her vision to the right, she noticed a very small dock for boats and what was easily some of the ugliest buildings that she had ever seen.

“Obviously nopony here has any passion for design…” Rarity muttered as she approached the nearest building.   Everything in town looked exactly the same, with only subtle differences in height and width.   Chimneys and general structure were practically identical to the untrained eye.   The ponies of Calmare were in dire need of a skilled architect, as they apparently had the blueprints for only one building.

The front of it was absolutely horrendous.   Though, that seemed to apply for everything else she could see.   The walls were quite shabby and the particular structure Rarity was observing looked to be rotting.   Moss and vines grew out of any cracks and the nails appeared to be rusted through.   The windows were so filthy she couldn’t even see through them.   What she gazed upon was not a house, but a hole with a grovel built atop of it.   Hoping to harmony that what she just looked at was not the inn, she looked to the building across the street.

Evidently, the concept of cleanliness, or sanitation in general, was a completely foreign concept to the ponies of Calmare.   Why Twilight would ever decide to go and teach in a town so repulsive baffled Rarity more than the town’s condition.   She was almost regretting coming to visit her friend.   Almost.   Rarity hadn’t seen Twilight in just over a year.   Unfortunately none of her other friends couldn’t have come along for the visit with their schedules, but Rarity was able to put off time to come and visit her studious comrade.   Before she could do that, she’d have to sign in at the inn first.   Twilight was most likely sleeping at her home anyways, it would be rude to disturb her so late at night.

The second building she observed was in slightly better condition.   It didn’t look like it was about to collapse, so that wasn’t an issue like the first building.   Additionally, the second story above was slightly forward, giving a small roof overhead of the extended porch.   Pushing her luck, Rarity trotted forward and examined the sign hanging from the front door.

C lm re  nn

Several of the letters had faded off of the sign, but there wasn’t a doubt in Rarity’s heart that said that the building in front of her was not the inn.   Though she would have to tell the manager inside to get some black paint to go over the sign.   The pale light of a candle was still visible from outside, so somepony must still have been inside and still awake.

Rarity hesitantly entered through the doorway to be bombarded with one of the most horrifying stenches she had ever smelled.   It was as if one had left a dead fish out in the middle of a compost pile, then defecated on it.   Her eyes teared up from the horrid stench, yet bravely continued.   She approached the stallion that was tending to the small bar.   The smell was coming from upstairs, possibly the attic, but it wouldn’t have killed the stallion to take a bath in the river.

“Excuse me,” Rarity began, “I’d like to rent a room for the week.”   The stallion looked up from the bar and stared directly into her eyes.   It was a miracle that Rarity didn’t throw up right then and there.   His muzzle was stretched out irregularly, flattened slightly and noticeably wider than a normal pony’s.   It was as if a hammer smashed his muzzle inwards by several centimetres.   His eyes were smaller too, and his coat just seemed to be a tad greyer than what was normal.   To say he was ugly, would be an insult to the ugly.   Despite his appearance Rarity kept her composure and charming smile on, if only to stop herself from screaming.

“Why d’yo want t’ave a rum?”   replied the stallion in a gravelly and husky voice.   Yet again, Rarity nearly gagged.   This time, it was from his breath instead.   One would assume that he’d be happy, maybe even joyous, that his old inn would have had a customer.   Instead, his gaze was harsh and apathetic.   The white unicorn could feel sweat form under her coat as she practically wilted under his watch.

“I-“ Rarity stuttered briefly, “I came to Calmare to visit a friend of mine.   I assumed she’d like to see a friendly face after so much time…”

The stallion, who looked to be fairly old as well, scanned Rarity with his eyes.   There was an uncomfortable silence as he looked her over.   Rarity’s eyes looked in every direction, her heart racing under his scrutiny.   The horrid smell of the inn still permeated her muzzle.   Whatever it was, it seemed to be getting stronger from the stairwell she had passed on the way in.   She focused on the nearby candle, watching the wax melt away under the heat of the flame.   For a few seconds, she found peace while watching the fire.   Her heart rate jumped again as the innkeeper grunted, apparently focusing on her cutie mark.   His face contorted slightly before looking back into Rarity’s eyes to speak again.

“Fine, here’s a key.   Y’rums upstairs.   Only one, y’can’t miss it.”   The stallion tossed a key at Rarity then continued to wipe down the wooden bar.   Apparently he already had the key at hoof, as he didn’t make a motion to actually pick up a key.

Rarity grasped the key with her magic and then looked back to the stallion.   “Sir, you didn’t tell me how much to pay for the room.”   Even if one would have to pay her to even look at an inn so run down under normal circumstances, Rarity still felt compelled to pay the innkeeper.   After all, she was the Element of Generosity.   Besides, maybe he just never had enough bits to maintain the in.   Calmare seemed like a slum if she had ever seen one.

The stallion didn’t even look up as he replied, “Don matter none.   Y’won’t b’here long anyways.”

The white unicorn’s jaw opened and closed repeatedly, before turning around and heading to the staircase by the doorway.   It was going to be a looong week for her.