Something Unexpected This Way Comes or: THE MADNESS
Darkness.
Evening.
Fluttershy stared into the mirror in shock, startled by her own appearance. A thousand questions raced through her mind, freezing her in place.
Twilight’s magic slowly wrapped it’s way around her, and with a flash, Fluttershy dropped to the ground, finally returned to normal.
All five of the brightly-colored friends turned to look as Fluttershy began to stir. "Oh my.. what happened?"
Some careful explanation later, Fluttershy was no more enlightened than before. "I just want to be clear, did I or did I not try to eat ponies?"
Before anypony could react, however, they were all blasted by a sudden gust of wind, and the air filled with blinding light as something appeared overhead.
"WHAT IS THAT!?" Twilight screamed, trying to comprehend what her eyes were telling her. Applejack, for her part, stood mouth agape staring up at the shining object. The others commenced panicking.
A huge silver disc hung overhead, beaming lights down at the group of friends.
Suddenly, several beams of light fixed themselves on Rainbow Dash.
"Hey! I can't move!" shouted the blue pony, slowly being pulled up towards the strange craft. "HEY! HELP! HELP!"
Rainbow Dash floated up, disappearing into the light emanating from the disc. As soon as she was gone, the lights and wind disappeared, and the craft with it, leaving all in dark stillness.
"What just happened?" Fluttershy asked in a panic, "Twilight, what just happened?"
"The Quarnozians.." Applejack breathed, "damn them."
Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy all slowly turned to look at the pony in the hat.
"Come again?" asked Twilight.
Applejack sighed. "I guess it's time y'all knew. I hated to lie to you for so long, but there really wasn't any way around it." She took off her hat and fiddled with it in her hooves. "I'm not exactly from around here, ya see, and I think I know who took Rainbow Dash.. and why."
"Applejack, darling, what are you talking about?" Rarity asked, frowning.
"The Quarnozians are an intergalactic race of conquerors, if they're here, they've come to send me a message by stealing one of my friends. I'm sorry, but I must go; my planet needs me."
Applejack's friends stared in shock as a third eye raised itself out of her mane on a narrow stalk. The eye glowed briefly, and suddenly a tremendous ~~ruckus~~ fracas came from across the farm.
The Sweet Apple Acres barn glided through the air overhead and turned to hover low to the ground just behind Applejack. "I'll bring her back, I promise."
Mooriella stood illuminated in the open door of the flying barn. "Come on, Applejack! We have to get a MOOve on!"
Applejack floated silently into the waiting doorway. She nodded once, and then the doors slammed closed, and the barn shot into the sky, rapidly turning into a speck of light in the sky before disappearing altogether.
Twilight was the first to recover enough to speak.
"WHAT THE H-"
Space.
Dark and black, it surrounded the unlikely sight of a red wooden barn hurtling at warp speed. Inside sat an orange three eyed pony, surrounded by cows who were fussing over a variety of blinking instrument panels set into hay bales.
If there's one thing I have learned
Living with mah pony friends
It's that friendship will always come through
And because Rainbow's mah friend
I will defend her till the end
And I know she'd do the same for me too
Now I'll travel all the stars
And I'll bring mah old guitar
To find where those varmints have gone!
We'll be there in a flash
To rescue Rainbow Dash
So why don't you sing along?
Why those nasty little critters
The thought just makes me bitter
That they'd think to commit such a terrible deed
That is why we cannot fail
We're coming right up on their tail
With this barn as our noble steed
Now I'll travel all the stars
And I'll bring mah old guitar
To find where those varmints have gone!
We'll be there in a flash
To rescue Rainbow Dash
Our friendship won't be overcome!
For if there's one thing I know
Through the wind and rain and snow
Friendship always finds a way you see
Cuz when you get right down to it
I really must admit
That there's no place I'd rather be
So now let's go set Rainbow Dash free! YEEHAW!
The magical flying space barn shot through the darkness of space, searching for Rainbow Dash's abductors. Suddenly, a warning sounded in one of the hay bales. "Oh, Applejack, we've got something on the applescan, don't cha know?"
"Onscreen!" Applejack shouted, turning towards the barn doors as they slowly swung open.
There it was.
The mother ship.
It hung in space, big and round, with bigness and roundness, looking for all the world like a giant turtle shell, but in space.
"Battle stations!!" Applejack shouted, leaping to her feet. Mooriella and the cows stared in confusion. "GIT ALONG YOU SLACKERS!"
The barn became a flurry of activity as the cattle proceeded to overturn hay bales and prepare for the battle.
"Activate radio!" A megaphone was tossed to Applejack, and she turned it towards the turtlecraft. "Attention warriors of Quarnoz! Release my friend or face the consequences, ya hear?"
Silence was the only answer returned.
"Fine then! I warned y'all!" She motioned to Mooriella. "Open fire!!"
"MOOOOOOooooooooooo!" a cow cried out as it rocketed out of the barn in a ball of fire, finally plinking off the turtle ship's hull with a muffled ping.
"Prepare to fire again!"
Before the cow crew could react, though, a figure suddenly materialized in the barn. It appeared to be a stubby bipedal tortoise wearing glasses, holding a very confused looking Rainbow Dash.
"ALRIGHT ALREADY! Have your pony back!" He grouched, tossing Rainbow roughly to the ground. "Fish sticks, if I'd known you'd be this much trouble.." he continued grumbling as he faded from view, teleported back to the alien ship.
"APPLEJACK!" Shouted Rainbow Dash, "It was awful, they locked me in a room with nothing but jenga to entertain myself with, and I couldn't keep it from falling because it's not made for hooves and there was no room for flying and... and..." she paused. "Are we in your barn?" glanced out the front doors. "..in space.." she slowly looked back at Applejack. "...and since when do you have a third eye!?"
"Well, um, that's not important right now, sugar cube. What we need to worry about is stopping the Quarnozians from destroying mah home planet. And there's only one way to do that." Applejack sighed. "We have to use the Elements of Harmony."
"..home planet?" Rainbow was still having trouble getting her thoughts into gear. "Elements.. is everypony even here? And didn't we put those into the Tree of Harmony like 5 episodes ago?"
"Not in person, but y'all should know that we only have to be connected in spirit to summon the powers of Harmony, Rainbow." Applejack held out a hoof to Dash. "We have to try."
Rainbow Dash sighed but nodded. Together they turned towards the alien mother ship and closed their eyes.
"Wow.." said Applejack
"Such harmony" added Rainbow Dash
Far away, back in Equestria, Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy were still trying to make sense of what had happened when they felt a pull in their spirit. Together they looked up to the sky.
"...very friendship" said Twilight
"many element" added Fluttershy
"WAHAHA!" Rarity laughed
MEANWHILE IN OUTER SPACE
A powerful energy gathered around the rickety wooden barn improbably flying through space. Focusing together and being shaped by the will of the ponies supplying it, the energy took physical shape.
An enormous rainbow fired forth from the Apple barn, tearing the Quarnozian's turtle ship in two.
"Whoo hoo!" Cheered Applejack, leaping up in joy.
"Applejack, what's happening?" asked Rainbow Dash, pointing outside, as the rainbow beam turned and headed back towards them.
Before she could respond, they were wrapped up in rainbow energy, and vanished from sight.
BACK IN EQUESTRIA
The Tree of Harmony sat silently, overseeing the forgotten box of doom. Suddenly, a crackle filled the air, and a ball of blue energy appeared, then just as suddenly disappeared, leaving behind two very confused ponies.
Before them were laid out six silver keys.
"Should we..?" Rainbow Dash asked cautiously.
"Might as well." Applejack declared.
Together they fit all six keys into their slots and turned them. There was a sound of whirring gears, clanking metal, and then the box opened, light pouring out of it, blindingly bright.
There was....
There was a figure standing in the light.
It stepped forward, becoming clearer through the haze of illumination.
"OH WOW YOU GUYS I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER GET ME OUT OF THERE IT WAS GETTING REALLY CRAMPED AND THERE WASN'T ANY CUPCAKES OR TREATS OR ANYTHING AND IT WAS REALLY BORING EXCEPT FOR-"
"PINKIE!?" Applejack and Rainbow Dash shouted in unison
"Well, duh, of course it's me. What, did you expect some kind of Equestrian Inquisition?"
As if on cue, three figures in red capes leapt out from behind Pinkie Pie.
"NOPONY EXPECTS THE EQUESTRIAN INQUISITION!!"
End.