Like any story worth listening to, this one begins with a trip to the spa.
I was there with my dear friend Fluttershy. A wonderful mare, really. It had been far too long since she’d been able to join me for a spa day—raising her daughter naturally took priority over an active social life. Especially since she was forced to handle more of the foal-raising duties than normal on account of her wife’s work. Her Highness’ Royal Guard could not afford to spare Major Cloud Kicker indefinitely.
Thankfully, little Bunny had finally reached an age where Fluttershy could afford to take a little ‘me’ time again. Thus, our long-overdue trip to the spa. Sadly, it wasn’t proving as relaxing for her as I’d hoped.
“Oh, I do hope Bunny’s alright,” Fluttershy fretted, her hooves nervously pawing at the water. “I’ve never been gone this long. What if she thinks I’m not coming back? She would be terrified!”
I patiently put a hoof on her shoulder, keeping my voice as even and reassuring as I could. “I’m sure Cloud has things well in hoof, darling.”
“But what if something goes wrong?” A note of budding panic crept into Fluttershy’s voice. “What if Cloud needs my help with something? What if my baby needs me and I’m not there?” She clambered to her hooves, her sodden wings frantically twitching. “I’m so sorry to leave you like this, Rarity, but I have to go home and make sure my baby’s—”
“Fluttershy, sit down.” I tried to make my voice firm enough to get her attention, but not so much that it would look like I was browbeating the poor dear. With how gentle and sensitive she was, it could be far too easy to push a bit too far and unintentionally upset her. Still, I didn’t want her to work herself up into a state and ruin her first day out since Bunny’s birth. “Now, Ditzy and her husband did mention that they might be coming over a bit later to keep Cloud company, didn’t they?” Fluttershy slowly nodded. “And didn’t the two of them give you a great deal of advice about taking care of a newborn foal?” She nodded again, seeming a bit less concerned now that I’d reminded her of those facts. “That’s not to mention that Cloud Kicker has her parents, aunt and uncle, and plenty of other ponies who could help close at hoof.”
“Well, I suppose that’s true.” Fluttershy reluctantly conceded, calming slightly. “They have been a huge help in taking care of her. It’s just that, well, you see...” Fluttershy turned from me, intently studying the bubbles in the water for a few seconds before whispering, “She’s my baby.”
I offered a reluctant sigh and slowly moved to the edge of the water. Much as I’d been looking forward to a spa day with Fluttershy, it was clear that she wasn’t going to be able to relax and enjoy herself. It would seem she was going to need a bit longer before she was ready to let Bunny out of her sight for more than five minutes. “That was lovely, but I think I’ve had quite enough spa time.”
Fluttershy shrank down into the water, her ears flat and guilt lacing her voice. “Thank you, Rarity, but you really don’t need to cut things short on my account. I know how much you like your trips to the spa, and it has been so long since we’ve gotten to spend any time together. I feel just awful about the fact that I haven’t been able to spend more time with you since your di—”
“I appreciate the sentiment, Fluttershy, but it’s quite alright.” I felt slightly guilty over cutting her off, but the last thing I wanted was to be reminded of that again. Better to keep the discussion on more pleasant topics. Luckily, there was one topic I was certain could catch Fluttershy’s interest. “So, how have things been with Bunny?” She had, of course, informed me of everything about young Bunny within moments of arriving at the spa, but I expected she would be happy to tell me once more.
That suspicion proved quite accurate. “She's the perfect little addition to our family!” Fluttershy gushed. “She doesn't cry at all! Oh, well except when she's hungry, or when her diaper needs changing, or when she wants to be held. And once in a while in the middle of the night—but it's probably very scary for a foal to be in the dark, so that's understandable. And occasionally in the day, because shadows can be very scary too. Though that seems a bit rude to say considering how important Shadow Kicker was, but...” She paused and shifted around a bit, briefly derailed from her gushing. It didn’t take her long to get right back to it though. “But that's all right; her aunties and grandparents are so, so happy to have her around, and they're such wonderful help with her—under proper supervision of course, because my baby deserves to have the best of everything because she’s just so wonderful and beautiful and...”
Needless to say, she continued along that particular line of thought for some time.
“... and then she touched my nose with her tiny little hoofsie and it was just the most adorable thing ever!” Fluttershy gushed as the two of us approached her home. While I hate to sound ungracious, I must say I was rather looking forward to her return. Though I was naturally quite delighted for my dear friend and thought Bunny an absolutely charming addition to her family, being subjected to several hours of Fluttershy telling me every little detail of her new foal did eventually become just a tad bit ... wearing.
Fluttershy and Cloud Kicker’s house in the Kicker Compound is a most welcome bit of artistry in the midst of a rather uninspired setting. Don’t misunderstand me, the red granite they used for the compound is quite charming, and gives the compound a very unique character compared to all the white marble you normally see in Canterlot. It’s just that ... well, the compound is so horribly drab.
Not that I’m criticizing the ponies here, of course. I quite understand that they’re busy in the Guard, and can’t afford too much time for things like landscaping and decoration. Still, there was so much potential here. Give me a month to work and a big enough budget to provide for the proper staff and materials, and I could make the Compound one of the highlights of Canterlot. Unfortunately, Cloud’s parents didn’t seem to share my vision for what the Compound could become. Granted, my initial proposal might have been a tad excessive, but a million bits is a small price to pay for eternal beauty.
Ah, but I’m getting a bit distracted. I do apologize for that. Now, where was I? Ah, yes, Fluttershy and her home. Now then, while the clan compound was still bogged down in drab mundanity, Fluttershy had managed to prevail upon Cloud Kicker to make a few much-needed improvements to their own home. She’s always had an excellent sense of style, and I flatter myself to think that I’ve helped her develop that over the years of our friendship.
That’s not to say her particular tastes are always suitable; I’m rather glad Cloud put her hoof down at turning their home into a menagerie. Fluttershy does wonderful work at the animal shelter, but that’s really not the sort of thing a pony should take home with them. I shudder to imagine how Fluttershy could hope to raise a foal if there were dozens of wild animals scampering about the place.
Fluttershy led the way through the front door, managing to exercise enough self-control to suppress the urge to charge into the room screaming that she needed to see her baby at once, but still moving with unseemly haste. I barely had any time to appreciate the decor—Fluttershy had redecorated since the last time I’d visited—before we were in the living room. She immediately cantered to the couch, where Cloud Kicker sat cradling their daughter.
I will grant Fluttershy’s point: Bunny was an absolutely darling little foal, and I’m not just saying so because she’s my best friend’s daughter. Her coat was much the same color as Cloud’s, though perhaps a shade lighter, and she had the most delightful strawberry blonde mane. Then there were those charming blue eyes and her tiny little wings...
Goodness, at this rate I might start fawning over her like Fluttershy.
Speaking of whom, Fluttershy gently but insistently took her foal from Cloud Kicker, planting a kiss on the baby’s forehead. “Hello, sweetie. Mommy’s back now.”
The foal met her eyes and smiled, letting out a happy little gurgle. “Flummy!” Bunny pressed her face into Fluttershy’s chest, wrapping her tiny little hooves around her in a gentle hug. “Wrrrrm Flummy.”
Whilst Fluttershy was occupied tending to her foal, Cloud stepped to my side, speaking quietly so as not to disturb the two of them. “I thought you weren’t supposed to be back for a couple hours? Derpy hasn’t even shown up yet.”
“Well, yes, but...” I waved a hoof towards Fluttershy, who was currently in the midst of nuzzling her daughter and softly promising to never leave her sight again. The scene rather spoke for itself as to why we’d returned earlier than planned.
Cloud Kicker took in the scene and let out a patient little sigh. “I suppose a bit of separation anxiety isn’t surprising.”
“Especially with Fluttershy,” I agreed. Though she’s always seemed quietly sure of herself, from what I’ve been told, she was a horribly shy and anxious filly before she met and married Cloud. It would seem that the usual stresses of new motherhood were drawing those old tendencies out again.
“Mmm.” Cloud gave me a quick, evaluating look. “Want something to drink?”
I was, of course, quite aware of what was left unsaid in the question. That’s not to say Cloud wasn’t just offering in order to be a good hostess, but the manner in which she asked the question made it plain that there was other matters she wished to discuss in privacy. “Thank you, that sounds lovely.”
Cloud led the way to the kitchen, taking a bottle of carrot wine out of her refrigerator and pouring two small glasses. “It was a gift from Uncle Typhoon,” she explained as she held up the bottle. “Guess it figures, with his mom being a Carrot.”
I took a sip of the wine, which was rather nice. A bit sweeter and heavier than traditional wine, but not in a displeasing way. I let the flavor play along my palette as I patiently waited for Cloud to begin. It didn’t take her long to begin speaking her mind. “I’m a bit worried about Fluttershy. She’s barely left the house since we brought Bunny home. I understand wanting time with Bunny and all, I want as much as I can get too, but ... it’s been three months, and today was the first time I’ve gotten her out of the house at all. Even then, her afternoon out turned into her only being out for an hour before she came rushing back. I mean, it’s great that she cares that much about Bunny, but...”
“She does need a social life too,” I finished for her, taking another sip of my wine. “Her devotion to Bunny is admirable, but we can’t have her turning into a complete shut-in over the matter.”
“Exactly,” Cloud agreed. “She needs some time out of the house.” She let out a troubled sigh. “I haven’t had much luck talking to her about it. Every time I try, she...”
“Persuades you otherwise?” I diplomatically finished for her. You wouldn’t think Fluttershy was capable of it, but more than once I’ve seen my soft-spoken friend wrap her guardpony spouse around her hoof.
“She uses that look on me,” Cloud explained. “You know, the ‘I’m utterly heartbroken you would ask me to do something like this, but I’ll do it anyway because I love you so much’ look. Nopony can stand up to that. Celestia and Shadow themselves would crumble.”
As I said, she’s wrapped around Fluttershy’s hoof.
“Anyway,” Cloud continued, “the Equestrian Military Ball is coming up in a couple weeks, and I’m really hoping I can get Fluttershy to come with me. It’s pretty much the social event of the season for anypony in the Guard.” She sighed, and her ears fell flat against her head. “But that’s the other problem: even if I can get Fluttershy out of the house at all, the list of ponies she would trust to foalsit for Bunny is pretty short, and almost all of them are in my family. Which is pretty much synonymous with being in the Guard.”
“That would be something of an issue,” I agreed. “I assume Derpy will be accompanying her husband to the ball as well?”
“Not like he could miss it,” Cloud answered. “That’s a problem, since she’d be our go-to choice for foalsitter when my family’s busy. As it is, she’s going to be looking for somepony to keep an eye on Dinky.”
“That would complicate matters.” I’m sure Dinky would be happy to volunteer to look after Bunny if asked, but she was a bit young to be trusted with the responsibility of looking after a newborn. Still, there had to be somepony suitable. “What about Sparkler?” Cloud’s adopted sister had experience with younger foals from her time in foster care, and she was certainly old enough to be trusted with Bunny.
Cloud reluctantly shook her head. “Sparkler’s gonna be starting at West Hoof next year. The ball’s her chance to do some preliminary meet-and-greet and get a hoof up on things. Same deal for Star, except she’s getting close to graduating and needs to start getting ready for her career. Alula tried to volunteer, but she’s still at an age where she needs a foalsitter too.”
“Mmm. Well that is something of a problem.” I was about to set my mind to thinking of other possible foalsitters, when I noticed that Cloud seemed to be looking a bit too intently at me. It wasn’t hard to guess at her train of thought.
Unfortunately, she had to go and actually ask me. “Rarity? I don’t suppose you have any plans?”
I offered a polite smile, but emphatically shook my head. “You want me to foalsit? Oh nonononono. I’m flattered you would ask, but ... no.”
Don’t misunderstand, I quite love Bunny. She’s a delightful little foal, and visiting her is a true joy. However, the key word in that statement is visiting. Foals are an absolute delight when you just need to hold them for a bit and make baby noises. However, as I learned to my horror whilst foalsitting my little sister, there is another, far darker side to them. The adorable exterior of a foal hides the fact that they are small, highly efficient factories for consuming food and producing astounding amounts of filth.
In my youth, I unsuspectingly foalsat for young Sweetie Belle. In the ensuing two hours, I was subjected to every single variety of nastiness the equine body was capable of producing. There was urine. There was feces. There was vomit. There was goo dripping from her nose. And I had to deal with all of it. At the same time. Really, I was the one who should have been crying and wailing at the top of her lungs.
Well, putting aside those traumatic memories for the moment, there had to be something I could do to make up for my inability to foalsit. “I know! I could make an absolutely lovely dress for Fluttershy! I have several ideas I’ve just been dying to try out, and this is the perfect chance for it!”
Cloud smiled and gave a slight shake of her head. “No offense, Rarity, but Fluttershy already has plenty of your dresses.”
“Well of course, but she’s already worn them.” To my utter bewilderment, Cloud didn’t seem to understand my point. “You can’t really expect her to wear the same dress twice! And to a major social event, no less!”
Cloud grumbled and put a hoof on her forehead. “Right. Because spending a hundred bits on a dress you’ll only ever wear once makes so much sense.”
“Cloud, you know I don’t charge Fluttershy for her dresses.” Perhaps that wasn’t the best choice for how to do business, but one advantage of being a successful businessmare is not needing to worry about bits. I don’t mean to brag, but being one of the top designers in Canterlot has made me a modestly wealthy mare. Though really, what’s the point of even having a dressmaking business if I can’t make a few nice dresses for my best friends?
Cloud waved a hoof in a vaguely apologetic gesture. “Right, of course, I didn’t mean...” She fell silent for a few brief moments as she gathered her thoughts. “Look, I appreciate everything you’ve done for Fluttershy, really. You’ve been a friend to her, and I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s quite alright, Cloud.” I gently interrupted her. I knew the Kickers, like most guardponies, have a bit too much of a practical streak to understand the workings of high society. If I’m entirely honest, some of the rules could be quite silly at times. However, that was the nature of the game, and part of succeeding in Canterlot society was following the silly rules those ponies lived by. Besides, I rather liked the whole thing about not wearing a dress twice. What it did for my profit margins aside, it meant I always needed to test myself as a designer. I couldn’t afford to let myself grow complacent when there was a constant demand for new designs. Not that I minded the pressure in the slightest; I am an artist, after all, and like any artist I always felt the urge to create.
Cloud offered me a second glass of wine, and I politely declined. Not that I didn’t appreciate the offer, but a second glass could easily lead to a third, and from there matters might continue until complications arose. I’d experienced a few close brushes with having a bit too much to drink after some recent unfortunate events. Nothing too serious, but I’d gone from having the odd glass of wine with dinner to ... a bit more than just that. Not that I became a sot or anything, but I’ve been a bit more careful since then.
“So,” Cloud Kicker asked one final time, “there’s no way I could possibly convince you to foalsit?”
“I’m afraid not.” I quickly checked my reflection in my empty glass to make sure everything was still in its proper place. It was, of course, but one should always make certain of such things. “I consider you and Fluttershy to both be very close personal friends, but ... I just don’t do foalsitting.”
“Well then...” Cloud offered me a smile that was entirely too knowing and devious. “One of the first rules Dad taught me: if you can’t win a fair fight, start fighting dirty.” Before I could even begin to formulate a proper response to that, she raised her voice and called into the living room. “Fluttershy? I think Rarity would like to hold Bunny for a bit.”
Oh, you horrible, manipulative, devious, evil mare! I must say, I was impressed.
Fluttershy soon joined us, Bunny still cradled within her forehooves. For a brief moment I dared to hope that she wouldn’t allow herself to be parted from her daughter, but then she approached me and very carefully extended her legs towards me. “Be very careful,” she gently instructed me, “and make sure you hold her the right way. Don’t forget to support her head, and keep her close to your chest.”
Well, I certainly couldn’t refuse the offer with Fluttershy standing right there in front of me, waiting for me to take hold of her daughter. I knew exactly what Cloud Kicker was trying to do, and the worst part was that I had a terrible feeling it just might work. I gingerly took the foal in my hooves, supplementing my efforts with a bit of subtle telekinesis to make absolutely certain that I had the baby perfectly supported. I certainly wouldn’t want to risk dropping dear little Bunny.
As I carefully cradled the foal in my legs, young Bunny stared up at me, seeming fascinated by my face. After allowing us a few moments, Fluttershy gently spoke to her daughter. “Bunny? This is my very good friend, Rarity. She’s a very nice and generous pony, so you should love her just as much as I do.”
Bunny considered this for a moment, then slowly reached out with one of her tiny little hooves and tapped my nose. “Raree.”
Oh, how absolutely precious!
No! I must not give in! This was exactly what Cloud Kicker wanted. To use Bunny’s innocence and adorability to weaken my resolve until I agreed to foalsit her. I could not allow myself to fall for such a simple ploy. I must resist! I must! I must!
Bunny met my own eyes with her innocent sapphire orbs, then closed them and nuzzled my chest, pressing her tiny little body against me. “Wrrrrm Raree.”
Blast.
“...and don’t forget to warm up her formula when you take it out of the refrigerator, she doesn’t like it cold.” Fluttershy nervously paced about, while Cloud patiently waited for her in the doorway. “But don’t warm her formula up too much, or it’ll get hot and she doesn’t like that. Just warm. And make sure she has her blanket and her toys—her favorite is the seal.” Fluttershy took a few steps back into the house. “Oh, and don’t forget—”
Cloud Kicker moved forward and gently put a wing over her wife’s back. “I think she heard you the first twenty times, love.”
“Sorry.” Fluttershy’s ears wilted, and she gave me an apologetic little smile. “I just...”
“It’s quite alright, darling.” I reassured her. To be frank, Cloud and I had budgeted at least half an hour to actually get Fluttershy out the door. We both knew that convincing her to leave her daughter in my care, even for a single evening, was going to be a task. To be honest, I suspect Fluttershy would always be a bit of a clingy mother no matter how much we tried to persuade her not to hover over her daughter too much. No doubt there would be much wailing and sobbing when Bunny left for college.
“The ball starts in fifteen minutes,” Cloud gently prompted. She was naturally wearing one of the Guard’s dress uniforms, which I will admit have a certain timeless style to them, while Fluttershy was wearing my latest work of art, a lovely green dress that was quite a bit sleeker than her normal outfits. Such was a necessity of circumstances: though I would never be so crude as to say such to her, Fluttershy still had a bit of foal flab left over. Thus, I had needed to design the dress to compensate for that fact and conceal it from the public eye.
“Alright, so I have fifteen more minutes,” Fluttershy promptly concluded. She directed a faint smile towards me. “After all, we should be fashionably late.”
Cloud chuckled and shook her head. “Unfortunately, it’s a Guard event. That means there’s no such thing as fashionably late; just ordinary late.”
“Which is never fashionable,” I agreed. I might have offered a witticism of my own had I not been interrupted by somepony knocking at the door.
“Speaking of ponies being fashionably late...” Cloud murmured as she opened the door. I knew the pegasus standing on the other side of the door only vaguely by acquaintance and reputation. We’d met a few times in passing, but aside from our mutual friendship with Cloud and Fluttershy I had never found any common ground with Rainbow Dash.
“Hey. Sorry I’m late, Cloud, Shy.” Rainbow slowly limped into the room, offering the two of them a shaky wave. “Work stuff. The ‘Bolts wanted to put in a last-minute training session.” She shuffled over the couch and settled her hindquarters onto it, taking the weight off of her hooves for a moment. I would never be so crass as to ask her directly, but I suspect she has some problems in that area on account of her missing hind leg.
Needless to say, I was curious as to why she was visiting, especially since Cloud’s comment indicated that she’d been expected. After a few moments of rest, Rainbow made her way over to Bunny, who was currently settled on the floor, playing with one of her dolls. “Hey, squirt.” She leaned down and gave the foal a kiss on the forehead. “I can’t wait to spend some time with my favorite goddaughter.”
“Boe!” Bunny grinned up at the mare, then toddled over and attached herself to one of Rainbow’s forelegs. Rainbow sat down next to her, putting her other foreleg over Bunny’s back.
So Rainbow was going to be staying for a time, rather than this being a simple social call? Curiouser and curiouser. I turned to Fluttershy and raised a single inquiring eyebrow, not even needing to put my question into words. After a second, Fluttershy gave a self-conscious blush and answered me. “Well, I remembered you saying that you had some difficulty the last time you tried foalsitting, so I thought maybe Rainbow Dash could come over to help out. I hope you don’t mind.”
“A bit of company is always welcome,” I diplomatically allowed. I was a bit miffed at the implication that I needed help to take care of a foal, but I knew Fluttershy far too well to think she’d meant to convey such an impression. Besides, even a pony who wasn’t a part of my normal social circle would make a far better conversationalist than Bunny. Furthermore, now was an excellent opportunity to become better acquainted with her.
Rainbow cast an evaluating look my way, then offered an uncaring shrug. “Yeah, sure; the more the merrier, and all that.” Having said her piece, she scooped Bunny up in her forelegs and pulled her up for a proper nuzzle, much to the foal’s delight.
“Okay, then.” Fluttershy looked between the two of us, a faint smile on her lips. “I’ll just leave the two of you here with her then. Alone. Together. With each other.”
Was she ... ? No, surely Fluttershy wouldn’t be trying to make arrangements for me? Would she?
“So...” Fluttershy announced with awkwardly forced casualness, “I suppose Cloud and I will be leaving now. Soon it’ll just be the two of you keeping each other company. Talking. Getting to know each other. You’ll have all night, the Equestrian Military Ball can take a long time. I hope you have a good time here. Alone. Together. With each other.”
She was! Oh, I never would have expected something so devious from her. How absolutely fascinating.
Fluttershy gave the two of us a tiny, hopeful little smile. “And, um, this benefits both of you as well because you're looking after a foal and maybe you want a foal someday. Maybe you two want the same foal ... or maybe you don't want a foal at all. It's up to you really...”
I must say, I was rather amused that Fluttershy would be trying arrange a liaison between myself and one of her other friends. I was rather flattered she would make the effort for my sake, but arranging romance requires a certain delicate touch that she seemed to be lacking at the moment. I blame the fact that she married her fillyhood sweetheart: as lovely and romantic as that was, it did leave her with a rather unfortunate lack of knowledge about the intricacies of courtship. When one finds the mare or stallion of one’s dreams at such an early age, there is little reason to develop a matchmaking skillset.
Perhaps that wasn’t an entirely fair assessment, though. Judging from the way her face was currently buried in her hooves, Cloud Kicker quite grasped her wife’s rather severe lack of subtlety. Sadly, the fact seemed to have eluded Fluttershy herself, who was currently looking between myself and Rainbow Dash with a small, hopeful smile on her face. When neither of us leapt into the other’s hooves, she focused her attention on Rainbow Dash. “So, Rainbow, did you know that Rarity makes dresses that are, um, really cool and awesome and amazing, and they totally push the limits of modern fashion? They have ... er ... um ... epic swag, dawg.”
For her part, Rainbow Dash looked askance at Fluttershy. “Why are you talking like that? It’s weird. In fact, you’re acting really weird all around.” Rainbow turned to Cloud Kicker. “I think you were right: she really needs to get out more.”
Well, apparently diplomacy and tact were not among Rainbow Dash’s virtues.
Upon realizing that her initial effort had not met with success, Fluttershy naturally shifted her attention to me. “Rarity, did you know that Rainbow Dash has helped the Wonderbolts come up with all kind of dazzling and elegant stunts that demonstrate incredible artistic talent?”
I decided to humor Fluttershy, if only to spare her feelings. “Well, that sounds most intriguing. Hopefully we can have an enjoyable discussion on the matter.”
Rainbow Dash’s ears perked up as she realized we were discussing her. “You wanna know about the stunts I’ve had the ‘Bolts working on? Awesome! I’ve got this one in the works right now that’s gonna blow everypony’s minds when they see it. It starts with Spitfire going like this, and then Soarin’...” Rainbow Dash began wearing her hooves in a long, complex pattern that nopony could possibly hope to follow for the next several minutes, attaching equally incomprehensible explanations. “...and then we get to the big finish and bam!” She leapt into the air, giving a few excited flaps of her wings before quickly returning to the ground with a flinch, rubbing the limbs in question. Whatever troubled her regarding her wings, she recovered from it quickly enough and returned to expounding upon her planned stunt. “I’m gonna call it ‘The Supercoolawesomeazing Rainbow Death Spiral Nine Thousand.’”
“You definitely need to add ‘of Doooooooooom’ onto the end of that name, Dash,” Cloud Kicker commented dryly. “It’s just not complete without it.”
Rainbow Dash thought that over for a moment, then shook her head. “Nah, I don’t wanna overdo it.”
“Anyway...” Cloud Kicker settled a wing over Fluttershy’s back. “The missus and I need to get going. We’ll be back when we’re back.”
“Wait.” Fluttershy carefully shrugged her way out from under Cloud’s wing. “I haven’t said goodbye to Bunny yet.”
“Yes you have,” Cloud countered patiently. “Four times.”
“Oh.” Fluttershy turned to her wife, her eyes wide and pleading. “Well, maybe I should say goodbye to her one more time? Just to be safe?”
Cloud let out a long-suffering sigh. “Yeah, okay. Just try not to take too long.” Fluttershy immediately flew to her child’s side, gently kissing the foal and whispering to her. Bunny’s eyes were half-closed, and the foal looked to be on the verge of a nap. Let us hope she spent most of the time sleeping; it would certainly make tending to her needs simpler.
While Fluttershy's attention was on her foal, Rainbow snapped a foreleg forward, mimicking a whip being cracked and providing a sound effect to match the action. Honestly, how gauche. There is hardly anything wrong with bowing to the wishes of a mare who wishes to kiss her foal one more time.
Or perhaps she was making a suggestion for activities once Cloud and her wife had returned to their chambers? Fluttershy didn’t seem the type to enjoy that sort of thing, but one can never tell...
Cloud met Rainbow’s commentary with a roll of her eyes, not even dignifying it with a verbal response. Once Fluttershy finished bidding her napping foal farewell, the happy couple departed, leaving me alone with Rainbow Dash and a sleeping baby. Not ideal companions, but I suppose it couldn’t be helped.
There was a brief and somewhat awkward silence as the two of us tried to take each others’ measure. I must say, I was rather mystified by Fluttershy’s apparent belief that the two of us would be romantically compatible. That’s not to say Rainbow Dash was unattractive—she had several appealing physical qualities—but there’s far more to a relationship than that. In terms of personality and outlook, I just didn’t see anything about her that gave me reason to consider her as a romantic partner.
Rainbow met my gaze with a faintly confused frown. “What’s with the staring? Do I have something stuck in my teeth?” She promptly opened her mouth and started poking about with a hoof, attempting to dislodge any food that might be there.
What had Fluttershy been thinking? Perhaps this was just another symptom of her being cooped up with her daughter for entirely too long.
Once she’s ascertained that there was nothing in her teeth, Rainbow flopped down onto the couch, then settled the sleeping foal onto her belly. She kept her attention entirely on young Bunny, which left me at something of a loss for what to do with myself. I suppose I could always start working on a new dress design...
I was just about to start mentally sketching a new design out when Rainbow Dash spoke, jarring me out of my thoughts. “So, you agree that Cloud’s so Flutter-whipped, right?”
“I beg your pardon?” It’s not that I failed to grasp her meaning, I just hadn’t expected to hear such a crude declaration. Especially not from a mare who was, at best, a casual acquaintance.
Rainbow obviously did not grasp the distinction. “Y’know ... she’s whipped.” She once more performed the whip crack gesture and sound. Apparently concluding that this was not sufficient explanation, she shifted to a grossly exaggerated mockery of Fluttershy’s voice. “Um, Cloud Kicker? I was just wondering if you could give all your bits to the animal shelter? Pretty please? If you don’t I’ll be sad, and we both know you can’t handle that.”
I felt the need to speak up in defense of my best friend. “She’s not quite that bad about it.” I tapped a hoof against my chin, and decided there was no harm in continuing the current line of conversation. “Still, she does rather have Cloud wrapped around her hoof when she wants to.”
“Exactly!” Rainbow offered an emphatic nod, then let out an amused snort. “Gotta wonder what Cloud’s soldiers would think if they saw her being bossed around by her wife like that.”
“Most likely, they would realize that Cloud Kicker is a loving and considerate spouse who cares about her partner’s happiness. Certainly the married ones would understand the importance of tending to the needs of one’s spouse.” Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t quite contain a flinch as that line of thought called some painful memories to mind.
While she was clearly not the most subtle of social operators, Rainbow Dash was not blind. She frowned thoughtfully at me. “What’s up? You look like you just tried one of Derpy’s spinach, cream cheese and thyme muffins.”
Oh, I most certainly did not want to discuss this with her. “It’s ... nothing important.”
Rainbow cocked her head to the side, and her frown deepened. “Well if it’s not important, then why’re you getting all grouchy over it?”
I was saved from having to answer her question by Bunny stirring on Rainbow’s chest. The foal’s eyes sleepily blinked open, looking around the room. Her gaze naturally turned to the mare she was currently using as a mattress first. “Wrrm Boe.”
Rainbow grinned at Bunny and gently rubbed her back. “Hey, kid. How’d you like the nap?”
Bunny’s face screwed up in childish ponderance, and in lieu of an answer, used one of her tiny wings to cover her face. Rainbow immediately let out a loud gasp. “Ohmigosh! Where did Bunny go? One minute she was here, and the next ... gone!” Bunny gave a delighted little giggle at Rainbow’s apparent inability to find her as the mare set her down on the couch and began searching all about the house for her, looking under seat cushions and inside closets. “I don’t get it! Where could she have gone?”
Naturally, I had to play along. “I haven’t the foggiest idea where she could have gone! You were the one holding her.”
“Well we gotta find her!” There was a carefully faked note of panic in Rainbow’s voice now. “If we lose Bunny, Fluttershy’s gonna bend us over and spank our butts until they’re redder than tomatoes!”
I couldn’t really imagine Fluttershy doing something like that. She’s normally far too gentle of a soul to even consider physical punishment. On the other hoof, if we let something happen to her baby, I suspect we would need to update our wills rather than worry about a mere spanking.
However, apparently the image of Rainbow and I sporting cherry-red derrieres as a result of Fluttershy’s maternal wrath was too much for young Bunny, and she fell onto her side, giggling madly. That lasted for a good five seconds before something else caught her attention—specifically, her own wing. As foals are wont to do, she proceeded to make a valiant attempt to get the entire thing into her mouth.
Rainbow Dash let out a most un-ladylike snort at the sight, while I opted for a slightly more sophisticated approach. “Bunny, darling? What are you doing?”
Bunny paused and looked up at me, her mouth stuffed with her own feathers. “Gloobah.”
Rainbow gave another snort, and settled down on the couch next to Bunny. “Gloobah, huh? Well, let’s not do any more gloobah-ing today, squirt.” Rainbow tried to gently pry Bunny’s wing out of her mouth, and though she succeeded the foal promptly started fussing.
Well, that wouldn’t do at all. “Rainbow, perhaps it would be best to leave her to her ... gloobah.” I could certainly think of worse things for a foal to put into her mouth than her own wing. Sweetie Belle had found several during the one and only time I looked after her when she was a foal.
Rainbow Dash ignored my own suggestion and Bunny’s discontent, and prevented her from returning her wing to its prior location. “No, Bunny.” I was a little surprised by how gentle Rainbow’s normally rough and somewhat abrasive voice sounded. “No more gloobah. You’re just a baby, and you’ve got a lotta pinfeathers coming in. No messing around with your wings, or you could hurt yourself. And if that happens, then your mom will hurt me.” Rainbow gave a melodramatic shiver. “So can ya do me a favor and not get your mom mad at me? Please?”
I’m not sure how much of that Bunny understood, but something must have communicated because she stopped trying to suck on her wing. She was still pouting over the matter though, so Rainbow scooped her up and settled her on her lap. “There ya go, kid. Hugs are way better than that gloobah stuff anyway. Especially when they’re Dash-hugs.”
Bunny seemed to agree with the sentiment, snuggling up against Rainbow’s chest. “Wrrrm Boe.”
Apparently even a rough around the edges mare like Rainbow Dash couldn’t resist Bunny’s charms for long. “Awww, aren’t you just the best filly ever?” She wrapped her wings around the foal, and started gently rubbing her back and mane. “You're a good little Bunny, aren’tcha?”
Bunny let out a massive yawn, stretching her tiny little hooves and wings. “Goobun.” She curled up on herself, putting her tail just a hoof’s width away from her muzzle. “Wrrmbun.”
I couldn’t contain myself at such an adorable sight. “Oh, isn't she just precious?!”
Bunny gave a tiny little blink, and began looking about the room. “Raree?”
I took a few steps so that I was well within her line of sight, then leaned down and gave her a quick little nuzzle. “I'm here, darling.”
Bunny returned the gesture, then gave a satisfied little nod. “Raree.” She began looking around once more. “Flummy?”
Oh dear. Here was where things could be a bit tricky. I cast a worried look to Rainbow Dash, trying to decide how best to inform the foal that her mother wasn’t here. Before I could come up with a diplomatic way to explain the issue with foal-appropriate terms, Rainbow Dash spoke up. “Uh, Fluttershy went out for a little bit. She'll be back soon, okay?”
Bunny fidgeted and let out a long whine. “Flummyyyyyyyyy!” She searched the room once more, no doubt hoping that her cry might have somehow made her mother return. When no results were forthcoming, her voice took on a strident, demanding tone. “Clom!”
“Cloud’s not here either darling,” I gently explained to her. “But you’re not alone. Rainbow and I are both here to keep you company.”
Bunny fidgeted and squirmed off of Rainbow Dash’s lap, pattering about the couch and putting some distance between us and her. I suppose that made matters plain enough—though she enjoyed our company, we were not her mothers. “Flummy! Clom!” When her parents still failed to materialize, she began casting about for other family members. “Pooky? Goopa? Gooma?”
Rainbow slowly shifted down the couch to get closer to the increasingly upset foal, and tried to break the news as gently as possible. “Sparkler and your grandparents aren’t here either. But hey—it's okay. You got me, your awesome godmom!” After a moment, she added, “And Rarity’s here too.”
While I would like to think I rated as a bit more than afterthought to dear Bunny, now was hardly the time to quibble over the matter. “Quite so. You're not alone, darling.”
Bunny stubbornly crossed her forelegs over her chest and turned away from us. “Flummy! Clom!” Her voice took on a louder and more insistent quality. “Flummy! Flummy! Flummmmy!”
Rainbow and I shared a look of mounting dread. Bunny was clearly building up to a full-on tantrum, and short of conjuring Fluttershy or Cloud up from the aether, there was nothing we could do to stop her. Rainbow took a deep breath, and braced herself for impending unpleasantness. “Whoo boy.” She reached out and began gently rubbing Bunny’s back. “Hey, c'mon kiddo, calm down. Everything’s okay.” I supplemented Rainbow’s efforts by giving Bunny a quick nuzzle and a kiss on the forehead.
Sadly, our best combined efforts did nothing to make up for the fact that we were not Bunny’s parents. “Clooom! Flummyyy!!!” She began tearing up as her voice took on the first notes of panic.
Though by now I suspected it was a doomed effort, I continued my efforts to calm the upset foal. “She’s only out for a bit, darling. She’ll be back before you know it.”
I made an effort to pick Bunny up, the instant I touched her she began flailing her limbs wildly, and she graduated from crying to wailing. “Flummy! Clom! Flummyyyyyyy!”
Oh dear. How could such tiny lungs produce such loud and painful noises? I think under the circumstances, panic was quite called for. I looked about for something and spotted the toy seal Bunny had been playing with earlier. I quickly used my magic to retrieve it and offer the toy to her. “Look, darling, it’s ... Mister Seal. He’s your favorite, right?”
Bunny grabbed the toy, only to toss it to the ground. “FLUMMYYYYY!!!”
Dear Celestia, any louder and she would be using the Traditional Royal Canterlot Voice.
Under the circumstances, I can hardly be blamed for fretting a bit. To be quite honest, I was at a complete loss for how to salvage the situation. Clearly she wouldn’t be calmed by something as simple as a toy or a bit of affection; she wanted her mother, and nothing less would satisfy her.
Rainbow wasn’t quite ready to abandon all hope. “Hey, come on—look at this!” She began making all manner of silly faces and ridiculous noises in the hopes of distracting the foal. Her efforts were only met with more crying and howling, but she valiantly persisted.
Well, to the extent that a grown mare simulating the sound of flatulence can be called ‘valiant.’
Thankfully, after a few minutes Bunny began to reach the point where she’d cried herself out. Speaking from personal experience, wailing and sobbing becomes very tiring after a few minutes. As her tears dried up, she finally noticed Rainbow’s continuing efforts to amuse her. She sniffled, and a tiny hint of a smile emerged on her face. “Buh-Buh-Buh-Boooe...”
Rainbow met her tentative smile with a huge grin. “Yep, thaaaat's me!”
I leaned down to give her cheek a quick nuzzle. “I’m still here too, darling.”
Sadly, the effect of that particular gesture was somewhat diminished when Rainbow opted to hit me on the head with a pillow. It wasn’t hard, and she did use a pillow, but I still didn’t particularly care for it. Unfortunately, physical comedy has a great appeal to the young, and Bunny let out a faint giggle at my misfortune.
Rainbow let out a faint chuckle of her own. “Oh, so you like seeing Rarity get bopped?” She then unapologetically struck me again.
Bunny let out another, slightly louder giggle. Then she reached out and gently tapped a hoof on my muzzle. “Bah-preh-ree?”
Though I was happy to see Bunny in a more cheerful mood, I was less than pleased by the means used to bring it about. I met Rainbow’s eyes and attempted to convey as much with my glower.
Rainbow met my entirely understandable displeasure with a shameless shrug and a proud smile. “Hey, she's not crying anymore, is she?”
Well, if that was how things were going to be... Rainbow’s smile slipped a bit when I magically grasped a pillow and promptly returned the favor.
As slapstick knows no loyalty, Bunny found Rainbow’s misfortune every bit as amusing as she did mine, letting out a happy giggle at the sight. “Boebahp!”
Whilst Rainbow rubbed her head and no doubt plotted her counter-strike, I leaned down and with the utmost care very gently tapped Bunny on the muzzle with a hoof. The foal’s eyes all but crossed themselves as she tried to watch my approaching hoof. “Ooooohhh ... Bunbahp?”
“Yes, darling. You can be bopped too.” Just to ensure that she understood it was all in good fun, I kissed her on the muzzle right where I’d tapped her a few moments previously. Bunny let out a happy little coo at the kiss, then leaned up slightly so she could rub her tiny little cheeks against mine. I could quite literally feel my heart melting at the sheer preciousness of her. She was just so ... adorable! I know it was just the sentimentality of the moment affecting me, but right then I desperately wished I had a foal of my own to come home to.
Bunny stared at me for several seconds, then slowly reached up and tapped a hoof on her own nose. “Bunbahp,” she announced, seeming quite happy with herself.
Rainbow Dash chuckled at the sight. “Silly Bunny.”
“Zillybun,” the foal dutifully repeated.
Rainbow grinned at the foal, then took her in hoof and began pretending to gnaw on her ear. Bunny squaled in delight. “No numme, Boe!” She latched her hooves onto my face, no doubt hoping I would protect her from the horrid prospect of being eaten alive by Rainbow Dash. Granted, that would be somewhat difficult with a filly firmly attached to my face, so in lieu of a rescue I opted to snuggle with the little dear.
Though it wasn’t a rescue, the cuddling still seemed to meet with Bunny’s full approval, She relaxed her hold around my muzzle, allowing me to get a bit more comfortable whilst still providing her with an equal level of equine contact. Rainbow shifted her own focus to rubbing the foal’s back, drawing a contented little murmur out of her. “Wrrrm Boe'n'Raree.”
Rainbow chuckled and very gently ruffled the foal’s mane. “You're too cute, squirt.”
Bunny looked up at Rainbow, pondering the word. “Gyooot?”
“Yes,” I agreed, speaking slowly for the foal’s benefit. “You are very cute, Bunny.”
Bunny took several more seconds to consider this new fact, her face screwing up in concentration as if she were pondering the deepest mysteries of the universe. After giving the matter a great deal of very careful thought, she presented conclusions. “Gyootbun. Goobun. Wrrrmbun.” After letting that thought mull about in her head for a bit longer, her attention shifted to one of her wings. “Gloobah?”
“Nope.” Rainbow quickly tucked the wing back against Bunny’s body. “No gloobah-ing for you.” She turned to me, a faint smile on her face. “We’re gonna have to keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn’t do any of that. Guess it figures; pinfeathers coming in is kinda itchy. So, we just gotta keep her distracted so she doesn’t mess around with her wings too much.” Rainbow grinned and rolled Bunny onto her back, then blew a massive raspberry on the foal’s tummy.
Bunny initially responded with a gleeful little squeal, but a second later her face scrunched up, and then she was frowning. “Iggee.”
A second later the smell hit our nostrils. Rainbow summarized the situation quite aptly. “Aw horseapples. Literally.”
Well, at least we were here to commence the cleanup immediately. When I had attempted to foalsit Sweetie Belle, I made the terrible mistake of leaving her unattended for a few minutes while I powdered my nose. I returned to find that she had messed her diaper, and somehow managed to remove said diaper and make quite a bit of progress towards distributing its contents all around the house. That was ... not a pleasant experience.
Now was hardly the time to be lost in memory, though. After all, I might have to clean up the current mess if I did not act quickly, and that wouldn’t do at all. “Oh dear, she’s gone and made a mess. I'll get the supplies; you take care of her.” I beat a hasty retreat to the nursery before Rainbow Dash could offer any commentary on the matter. One does not become a master socialite without learning when to remain, and when to conveniently fade to the background. I have found that it is a surprisingly versatile skill, useful in far more than the crowded ballrooms and garden parties where I normally plied my trade.
Rainbow Dash vainly attempted to call out after me as I made my exit. “Hang on, you have magic! Come back here, you—”
Thankfully, Bunny cut in before Rainbow Dash could use any language that wouldn’t be suitable for young ears. “Iggeeee, Boe!” the foal cried out insistently.
As I had hoped might happen, Rainbow chose to attend Bunny’s needs rather than pursue me. Don’t misunderstand, had I been alone I would have dealt with the matter without a moment’s hesitation. I might be a tad fastidious, but I would never leave a child in distress. However, given the choice to between dealing with such matters myself or leaving them in another pair of equally capable hooves...
Well, suffice to say that I was in the nursery trying to determine where Fluttershy kept the clean diapers and baby powder whilst Rainbow saw to Bunny—a decision that was thoroughly vindicated a few moments later when I heard Rainbow loudly gagging in the other room. “Geeze, kid, what the hay have you been eating?”
Thankfully, Fluttershy had already set out everything we might need to get Bunny through a changing—along with a rather long note explaining exactly how Bunny should be changed—so gathering the supplies proved an easy enough task. I returned to the living room to find Rainbow Dash in the process of disposing of the soiled diaper while an un-clad but still quite messy Bunny attempted to scamper her way to freedom. I quickly set my supplies down and made an effort to immobilize her with my magic, but the foal immediately began squirming within my telekinetic grasp. It is extremely difficult to use telekinesis on a living pony, especially one who was resisting the effort, but all I needed to do was slow Bunny down for a second so Rainbow Dash could catch up with her. That much was certainly within my capabilities.
Rainbow quickly limped over to the wayward foal, scooping her up before she could make any further progress towards escaping. “Whoa, whoa whoa, not so fast kiddo.” She took note of the supplies I had obtained, and quickly retrieved several wipes and got to work on cleaning Bunny’s rather messy bum. I supervised Rainbow’s effort from a safe distance away. For her part, Bunny tolerated the cleaning quite easily, giggling at Rainbow’s numerous distressed expressions as she went about the business of cleaning Bunny of all filth.
Rainbow paused in her efforts to direct a particularly baleful glare in my direction. “You know, you have magic—you wouldn't have to actually touch anything.” She returned her attention to Bunny, though now she grumbled under her breath as she worked. “Prissy fancy-pants wuss...”
Like any proper lady would, I regally ignored Rainbow’s crude remarks, instead focusing my attention on assisting her with Bunny. I might not be involving myself in the messier aspect of Bunny’s changing, but Rainbow still needed fresh wipes and other supplies to do her part. Honestly, I was helping quite a bit, even if I was avoiding the worst part of the entire process. Rainbow could be a touch more grateful.
Bunny stared at the two of us, her mouth opening and closing a few times as she pondered the new words Rainbow Dash had no doubt introduced her to. “Wuuz?”
“Yep,” Rainbow confirmed. “Rarity is a wuss. I can’t believe she’s afraid of a little thing like a messy diaper. Talk about a scaredy-cat.”
Oh, it is on! While I would normally have just ignored Rainbow’s rather crude attempts to rile me, a lady has a right to defend her honor when it is being unfairly slandered. “Oh, and I suppose that whenever she soils herself whilst Cloud and Fluttershy are present, you happily volunteer to attend to the matter and save them the trouble?”
Rainbow grimaced at my barb, but was not long in responding. “Well, no, but that’s completely different ‘cause they’re her parents.”
“And aren’t you her godmother?” I countered. “Surely that title conveys an added level of responsibility for her health and wellbeing beyond that of a mere friend who has agreed to look after her for an evening? So, that being the case...”
“Oh, whatever,” she grumbled, presumably realizing that my point was rather hard to refute. “You’re just looking for an excuse to stick me with all the icky stuff so you don’t have to deal with it.” She snatched up the baby powder and began liberally applying it to Bunny’s bum. Whether through accident or design, she powdered the foal so thoroughly that soon her tiny little nose was twitching. I spotted the warning signs of an impending sneeze and promptly took shelter behind Rainbow Dash. Unfortunately, my strategy had been anticipated, and right before the sneeze struck Rainbow stepped aside, leaving me to take the full force of the blast.
Thankfully I was far enough away to be safe from flying mucus. Unfortunately, powder goes quite a bit further than that. Rainbow directed a victorious smirk towards me, then turned to Bunny. “Gesundheit, squirt.”
I quickly cleansed myself of the baby powder, opting to offer no commentary on the matter. After all, if I had taken Rainbow’s measure correctly, any perfectly legitimate complaints I offered would only encourage her to continue. Best to just pretend I had noticed nothing, and hope the matter dropped. She had her ‘vengeance’ for being left with the messier side of foalcare, and let that be the end of it.
As it was, the strategy proved quite effective thanks to Bunny’s needs. Though she was now freshly cleaned and powdered, the foal was still lacking a fresh diaper. Rainbow turned her attention to the unclad baby. “Almost done, kiddo. Now just hold still while I—”
Needless to say, few things make a foal less inclined to remain still than asking them to do so. Bunny looked over herself, and happily declared, “Eee! Nuhiggee.” The foal happily babbled some nonsense words at the two of us, her hooves twitching about in half-trotting motions that no doubt made it considerably more difficult for Rainbow to put a diaper on her.
Rainbow nodded along with Bunny’s happy babbling while making a valiant effort to fit the diaper onto her. “Uh, yeah you're not icky anymore and...” She managed to get the diaper halfway on, only for Bunny to twitch her hind legs and kick it back off. “Can you hold still for a bit, Bunny?” She frowned, then turned back to me. “Actually, better idea: as long as you’re here and theoretically helping me with the foalsitting, think you could lend a hoof?”
Despite the less than cordial tone, Rainbow’s request was quite reasonable. I will confess that despite my initial misgivings, I was quite happy for Fluttershy’s apparent matchmaking scheme. Not that I cared for the notion of Rainbow Dash as a romantic partner in the slightest, but a second pair of hooves in dealing with Bunny was quite welcome. After all, if not for Rainbow Dash, I would’ve had no choice but to deal with messy diapers myself.
Bunny continued her wriggling and squirming about, but between the two of us we managed to corral her easily enough. Once we’d cut off any hope of escape and I gently held her in place for Rainbow to place the diaper on her, Bunny promptly began fussing again. Thankfully, Rainbow was quick to act before we had a full-fledged tantrum on our hooves. “Bunny, look!” She began wagging her wings above Bunny’s head in the hopes of distracting the foal.
The trick proved quite effective, and Bunny was easily captivated by this fascinating new distraction. “Oooohhhhh... Wingaboe... GloobahBoe. GlooBoe?” Her attention now fully captured, she stretched out to try and grasp the wings, entirely forgetting about the matter of her diaper. Now that her struggles had ceased, Rainbow had little difficulty sliding the diaper on with my assistance.
“There, done!” She offered a quick triumphant grin, then lowered her upraised wings down to tickle Bunny’s face and exposed belly. The foal squealed in delight, trying to cover her own tummy or grab one of Rainbow’s wings. After a short bit of this I thought to join in on the fun, but when Rainbow spotted my approach she quickly snatched the foal, wavering precariously on the two legs not occupied with holding Bunny for a moment before she found her balance.
If Bunny noticed Rainbow’s near loss of balance, the foal paid it no mind. Instead she pressed against Rainbow’s coat, nuzzling her chest. “Wrrrmm Boe...” She turned to me, offering a smile. “Wrrrm Boe, Raree,” she explained, offering a strangely serious nod. Obviously, which ponies were warm was a matter of utmost importance to her.
Rainbow chuckled and planted a kiss on Bunny’s forehead. “Yeah, I'm so cool that I'm warm too.”
So cool that she’s warm? That doesn’t even make any sense. Then again, I doubt Bunny would be bothered by such a contradiction. I looked over the assembled changing supplies, then turned to Rainbow and asked, “So, it seems her needs have been attended to. I suppose I should put everything up now.”
Rainbow turned and directed an annoyed look to me. “Yeah, sure, whatever. Thanks so much for running out on me as soon as she pooped herself.”
“I was getting the supplies,” I answered rather testily.
She scoffed at me. “Yeah, sure, whatever you say. Soon as you realized we had to deal with a dirty diaper, you bolted outta here so fast you left skid marks on the floor.”
“Well, the situation was rather urgent,” I offered in my own defense. Rainbow’s glower showed that she was singularly unimpressed by my statement. To be honest, even I had to confess that it did not entirely justify my actions. I reluctantly conceded as much. “Perhaps I was a bit hasty in volunteering for the less strenuous of the two tasks involved. My apologies.”
Rainbow considered that for a moment, then let out a grunt I took as a sign of acceptance. “Fine, but you have to take care of changing her next time, while I gather the supplies.’”
“I ... suppose that’s fair.” I fervently prayed that Bunny would not mess her diaper again before Fluttershy and Cloud returned.
That tentative agreement reached, the small bit of tension in the room since my rather precipitous departure dissipated. Though Fluttershy’s aspirations for the two of us were clearly never going to come to fruition, I quite preferred not to quarrel with Rainbow Dash. We did have several friends in common, after all. A feud would make things rather awkward, not to mention that her position with the Wonderbolts could complicate some business matters for me.
For a time we fell into companionable silence, until Bunny stirred once more and brought a new matter to our attention. “Ungee.”
Well, I suppose she would be after she’d emptied herself. As Rainbow was no doubt still a bit displeased over my perceived lack of equal contribution in the changing, I quickly volunteered to attend to the matter and earn a bit more goodwill. “I'll go get her some formula.”
Rainbow met my eyes and offered a barely perceptible nod. “Alright. Thanks.” She settled down onto the couch with Bunny, snuggling the foal and swapping silly nonsense words with her.
I left the two of them to that and made my way to the kitchen. Fluttershy had left a bottle of milk in the fridge, along with a note reminding me to warm it up before giving it to Bunny. But not warm it up too much, just enough so that it wouldn’t be cold. She was a bit of a worrier, at times. I had to wonder if Cloud had suggested the idea of pairing me with Rainbow Dash as a way to get her to leave Bunny in our care for the evening, given her clear reluctance to do so. I suppose that made as much sense as her believing the two of us would actually be a suitable couple.
After warming up Bunny’s milk (but not too much), I returned to the living room. Rainbow and the foal were still curled up on the couch, snuggled up with one another. Rainbow’s ears perked up at my approach, and she gently picked up the foal. “Hey, Bunny. Time for you num-nums.”
Bunny’s ears perked up, and she began looking around. “Flummy?” A moment later she spotted the bottle, and her smile faded. After a moment’s consideration, she started pouting. “Flummy!” Clearly, she felt that a bottle of formula was a poor substitute for her mother’s milk.
Rainbow and I shared a worried look—the last thing we needed was for her to start crying over her mother’s absence once more. Rainbow snatched the bottle from my magical grasp and gently held it in front of Bunny. “I know you want your mom’s stuff, but she isn't here. I promise this is just as good!” She tipped the bottle up and pretended to drink some of it. “Mmm! Good! You want some?”
I forced some teasing cheer into my voice. “You’d best hurry and drink up before Rainbow gets it!” I pressed the bottle to her lips. Though Bunny was clearly still less than ecstatic about the prospect, hunger and the fear of losing her meal to Rainbow Dash soon overrode her discontent, and she began feeding from the bottle. Rainbow shifted the foal in her grasp to give her a better angle whilst she fed, while I helped her support the bottle itself.
Bunny was not long in finishing her meal, greedily sucking the bottle dry despite her initial reluctance to accept it. When she finally finished, the bottle itself was quite empty, and two small lines of milk dribbled down her cheeks and onto Rainbow’s chest. “Mmm. Nummee.”
“See? Told you it was good.” Rainbow lifted the foal up and set her over her shoulder, gently burping her. “Okay, here we go...” I took a few steps back from the two of them as a purely precautionary measure. As I learned to my misfortune, more than simply air sometimes comes up when burping a baby.
Thankfully, such did not prove to be the case with little Bunny. After a few pats on the back, she let out a tiny little burp which, strange as it might seem, was actually quite charming. I couldn’t restrain myself from letting out a soft little coo at the sound.
Rainbow let out a snort and chuckled at the foal. “That burp ... you are so Fluttershy's kid.” Then she turned to me and smirked. “But seriously, Rarity? Getting all gooey-eyed over a burp? What’s next, fawning over her farts?” She shifted to a grossly exaggerated and completely inaccurate parody of my way of speaking. “Oh, what an absolutely darling little fart from the little darling. Don’t you agree that it was quite darling, darling?”
I took a slight bit of offense at her remark. “Well you can’t deny that it was a rather charming little sound, now can you?”
“Well yeah, but...” Rainbow rolled her eyes and let out a faint snort. “You’re still getting all mushy over a burp. S’just weird.”
Once more, Bunny put an end to the potential discussion by snuggling against Rainbow’s chest, thoroughly distracting the mare from her previous topic of conversation. Rainbow looked down at the foal, and I could see her heart melting at the sight. “Aww ... hey Rarity, can you get a blanket or something? Bunny’s gotta have a fuzzy blanket or something lying around...”
Knowing Fluttershy, I would be quite amazed if there were not a dozen fuzzy foal blankets scattered about the house so that one would always be close at hoof. “Of course, it would be my pleasure.” A quick search not only uncovered a blanket, but also another note from Fluttershy explaining that this particular blanket was Bunny’s favorite.
I returned to find Bunny in the process of rubbing her milk-stained muzzle over Rainbow’s chest, which the older pony did not seem to mind in the slightest. When Rainbow noticed my approach she gave the foal a gentle nudge to get her attention, then pointed to me. “Hey squirt, look what Rarity’s got for you.”
Bunny beamed at the sight, stretching her hooves out towards the blanket at letting out a tiny little squeak as she reached. “Bunbunkee” She nodded, then pointed to herself. “Bun.” She pointed to the blanket. “Bunkee. Bunbunkee.”
I passed the blanket into Bunny’s care, who promptly snatched it up and pressed it against her cheeks. Rainbow took the corners of the blanket and gently wrapped the foal up, getting her nice and comfortable. Bunny beamed and snuggled into her blanket. “Wrrrm Bunbunkee.”
Rainbow shifted to make enough room on the couch for me to join her. I settled into place, and gave Bunny a quick kiss on the forehead. “Well don’t you look very happy and cozy? Oh, yes you do!”
My pegasus companion let out a faint snort. “Hey, I’m all for bonding with the kid, but don’t get all gushy baby-talk with her, Rares.”
She was hardly in any position to complain about excessive baby-talk after she’d done so much of it with the foal. However, a lady does not complain about such things. Instead, I bestowed a final kiss upon Bunny’s cheek, then turned to Rainbow and commented on something far more interesting. “So I have gone from Rarity to Rares, have I?”
Rainbow frowned at me. “Yeah. What about it?”
I hastily clarified my intentions. “It’s not that I find the name objectionable in the slightest, it is simply that I was not expecting to be given a nickname by you. Let us hope it does not give Fluttershy the wrong idea about where things stand between us.”
She blinked, then let out an amused snort. “Still can’t believe that happened. I mean, I guess you’re alright and stuff, but can you imagine her trying to pair us up? No idea what Fluttershy was thinking.”
“It is a rather mystifying choice,” I agreed. “That is not to say you are entirely lacking in fanciable qualities, but I cannot imagine the two of us engaging in a romantic liaison.”
Before we could speak further on the matter, Bunny interrupted us with a loud yawn, her eyes slowly shutting as she snuggled deeper into her blankets. “Fluummyyyyyy...” Apparently, a full belly and a warm blanket was enough to, thankfully, coax the foal back to sleep.
I smiled at the foal as sleep took her. “What a darling.”
Rainbow nodded, smiling down at her as well. “Yeah she really is the coolest kid ever.”
The two of us watched as Bunny’s eyes closed completely, and she began letting out very tiny little snores. Like everything else about her, the snoring was cute too.
Rainbow shifted her hold on the foal and slowly set her down, watching carefully to see if she showed and signs of waking. Thankfully, Bunny did not. “Aaaand she's out.”
I let out a relieved breath at the confirmation. “She's an utter delight, but...”
“Yeah.” Rainbow agreed, leaning back against the couch. “Now I know why Derpy always joked about how foals are tiny little vamponies sucking all the energy out of the adults taking care of them.”
“She was rather a hooffull, even when she was being well-behaved.” I shudder to think how much trouble Bunny might be if she were in a mood. Though I suppose Fluttershy and Cloud would have something of an advantage in that regard, given that a fair portion of our difficulties with Bunny came as a result of her parents’ absence and the fact that as far as she was concerned we made a poor substitute for them.
Still, now that Bunny had been put to bed—at least for the moment—I was at something of a loss for what to do with myself. I had planned to find a good book or work on some designs, but Rainbow Dash’s presence complicated that. It seemed rather rude to just ignore her entirely, but I doubt we shared many common interests that would make for a stimulating discussion.
I turned to the pegasus, idly studying her. As I’ve said before, she was not uncomely. Fit and trim, without being excessively so. However, crass as it might seem, I felt my gaze inexorably drawn towards her missing limb. I knew it was rude to stare, but it was rather hard not to. Just seeing that spot where her hind leg should have been, and instead there was just blank spot of smooth, unbroken skin. I suppose her coat must be covering the scars. Or maybe the surgeons and medical mages had done something for them?
Rainbow rather loudly cleared her throat, and I removed my eyes from her missing limb. The other mare glowered at me, one ear flicking in irritation. “Just go ahead and ask already.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“About the leg,” Rainbow explained, her ear flicking once more as her voice grew terse. “Everypony asks about it eventually. Might as well get it over with.”
Well, clearly it was something of a sore subject. I was tempted to let the matter drop entirely, but I suspect that would do more harm than good. As Rainbow’s reaction and my own natural curiosity had shown, her injuries were something of an elephant in the room, as it were. Leaving it undiscussed would only make matters more difficult for the both of us.
I took a moment to consider the most diplomatic way to make my request. “I have heard the essentials of what happened from Fluttershy, but a more detailed account coming directly from you would be appreciated, if you don’t mind.” I decided to soften the request a bit by adding a compliment. “I must say, you seem quite capable despite your ... disability.”
“‘Capable’?” Rainbow let out an angry snort. “I wouldn't be here helping my friends if I weren't capable. S'all there is to it. I'm not some filly who constantly needs looking after. And it’s an old war wound, not a disability. Got it?”
I flinched back from her on instinct. “I am terribly sorry, I meant no offense. I was trying to pay you a compliment.”
Rainbow paused, took a deep breath, and deflated. “Yeah, I know. Sorry if I bit your head off a bit, just kinda bugs me when ponies get all pitying and horseapples.” She paused and shook her head, seeming to put the matter out of her mind for the moment. “Anyway, yeah, you wanna hear the story of how it happened, right? Well, sit back and get comfortable, ‘cause like any story involving me, it’s a pretty awesome one.”
That was a rather unexpected point of view on the matter. “The story of how you lost your leg is ... awesome?” Was she trying to put on a brave front for me?
She nodded, seeming entirely sincere. “Yeah. I mean, I did end up getting the Shadow Star for it. They don’t give those out unless a pony does something utterly badflank.”
“You won the Shadow Star?” I was no expert on military matters, but even I recognized the name of the most prestigious medal the Royal Guard could award a pony.
“Sure did,” she answered with a proud smile. “So, guess I oughta start from the start. I’d just finished up with school, and I was trying to work out how to get into the Wonderbolts. I’d done all the usual stuff—junior speedsters, amateur competitions, all that. But that was just the problem: I’d done the usual stuff a pony does to try and get their attention. If I wanted to stand out, I needed to do something more than that.”
“And that lead to you joining the Guard?” I prompted.
“Yeah.” She nodded, tossing a quick look at little Bunny. “Kinda figures, what with Cloud being in the Guard, plus Fluttershy and Derpy both married to guardponies. I mean, I was practically half-enlisted already. So yeah, I wound up joining the Long Patrol ‘cause I figured a couple years of beating up monsters and a ton of medals would be the coolest thing ever to put on my Wonderbolts application.”
She paused for a moment, and her ears folded back slightly. “So, I was three years into my four-year enlistment when we hear there’s this village in trouble. We get there, and it turns out we’ve got a big pissed-off dragon on the way, and he’s planning to eat everypony in the town. There was no way my squad could handle a dragon on our own, so I sent the rest of them off to get backup while I bought time for everypony to get to safety.”
She let out a quiet little snort. “Geeze, sounds so boring when I say it like that. ‘Bought time.’ You wanna know what I really did? I went right up to that big stupid dragon, kicked him the schnoz, and said, ‘Is it true that dragon meat tastes like chicken? Don’t answer that; I'd rather find out for myself.’”
“How would you know what chicken tastes like?” I asked.
“Long Patrol initiation,” Dash grumbled. “Now stop messing up my story. So yeah, I kicked him in the face, said my awesome one liner, and then we duked it out. By the time Celestia showed up I totally had him on the ropes, but...” her gaze flicked down to her missing limb. “Well, he got some hits in too, and dragons hit pretty hard.”
I reached forward and put a sympathetic hoof on her shoulder. “I am terribly sorry for your loss, Rainbow.”
“I’m not.” Once more, Rainbow’s answer caught me completely by surprise. She looked up, meeting my eyes with fierce determination. “Don’t get me wrong, losing a leg and having my wings not work as good as they used to sucks, but there were over a hundred ponies in the village that dragon was headed for. If I’d cut and run, all of them would’ve been toast. The way I figure it, one leg to save a hundred lives is a good trade.”
I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised that she didn’t care for my sympathy. Rainbow struck me as the type who clung fiercely to her independence and strength. “Be that as it may, you still suffered a terrible loss.”
“Yeah, guess I did,” Rainbow conceded. “There were times when I got a bit down about that.” There was a slightly haunted quality to her voice, but a moment later she shook her head, and was shortly back to her normal self. “But whenever that happened, I just remembered all the ponies who’re alive ‘cause of what I did. Kinda puts things back in perspective, y’know? Besides, not like it was the end of the world or anything. Hay, while I was in the hospital Spitfire came and visited. We got to talking, and she said I could come visit the Wonderbolts whenever I wanted. I started hanging around with them, then started helping out a bit, and pretty soon I had a job as their new trainer and stunt coordinator.” She offered a slightly shaky smile. “So, it didn’t work out exactly the way I figured it would, but being a guardpony totally got me into the Wonderbolts. Gonna have call that a win.”
Bunny shifted about in her sleep and murmured. “WundaBoe.”
I stared at Rainbow Dash for a time, trying to fit all these new facts into my existing mental image of her. In the end, it required a bit of adjusting. The somewhat vain and bratty mare I’d known thus far seemed quite at odds with the brave war hero. I suppose that was the way of things, though. Ponies are complicated, and can rarely be summed up by a quick phrase and a shallow first impression.
Rainbow Dash looked me over, then matter-of-factly said, “Your turn now.”
“My turn?” I stared at her, utterly perplexed. “My turn for what?”
She shrugged. “Hey, if you wanna know all about my leg, I figure I’m allowed to pry into your life a bit too. So ... what’s up with you being divorced?”
I flinched at that. I suppose there was a certain element of turnabout is fair play in her inquiry, but did she have to put things so bluntly? “I’d really rather not discuss it, Rainbow. It’s a rather sensitive and painful subject.”
Rainbow answered my perfectly reasonable request with a derisive snort. “Yeah, but me losing a leg was a totally fair thing to ask about.”
Loathe as I was to admit it, she had a point. “Oh, very well then.” I confess my concession was not made with a level of grace and dignity befitting a proper lady, but I think that quite excusable in light of the circumstances. Still, a proper lady should strive to always be at her best, even in trying circumstances.
I took a deep breath and got down to it. “Well, I suppose we should begin from the beginning, shouldn’t we? One can hardly be divorced if one is not married, after all. We were both rather young, and perhaps a bit foolish, but very much in love.” I let out a chuckle tinged with a measure of sadness at the situation and my own young foolishness. “I can still scarcely believe it, sometimes. I married a farmer of all things. But love is, as they say, blind. And love was never the problem for us.”
“So what was the problem?” Rainbow asked, seeming far more interested in the story I would have expected.
“Money,” I answered simply.
“Money?” Rainbow stared at me, her jaw hanging slightly open. “But ... that doesn’t ... how could you break up with the pony you love, the pony who you promised to be loyal to forever, over money? It’s just ... just stuff!” She actually sounded rather angry about the matter. Did I detect the heart of a romantic beneath that rough-and-tumble exterior?
“Yes. Money.” Clearly that would not suffice as an explanation, so I elaborated. “Her family farm was experiencing a long period of financial difficulty, to the point where it wasn’t even a viable business anymore.”
“So why didn’t you help her out?” Rainbow demanded, tail and ears twitching in aggravation. “I’ve been to enough events with the ‘Bolts to know that your stuff’s all the rage with the fancy high society types. Don’t try to tell me you’re not swimming in bits.”
“I didhelp her,” I answered testily. “Several times. If the farm were simply experiencing a brief period of financial difficulty, there would not have been any trouble at all. Unfortunately, the problem lay far deeper than that. To be frank, the farm was not profitable and showed no sign of ever being so. There were pest problems, a feud with the local weathermare, and just a host of little issues that all resulted in larger problems. And yet, every time I attempted to discuss the matter, I received the same assurances: that the farm was merely experiencing a ‘rough patch’ and things would quickly turn around.”
I let out a heavy, resigned sigh. “I wanted to believe it, but after three years of funding the farm, love and hope lost out to business sense. You must understand, my own business was not nearly so large or profitable then as it is now. The cause for that lay entirely in the farm: expanding and developing a business requires spending money, and everything I could spare went into keeping her family farm operational. Investments went unmade and opportunities unseized because my own business had to shoulder the expenses of her farm, and there was simply no end in sight. My own business was no less important to me than her farm was to her, and yet...”
I took a slightly shaky breath. “Things finally reached a point where I had to put my hoof down.” I couldn’t bring myself to look Rainbow in the eyes as the memories played over my mind. “She wanted the largest loan yet, to install a brand-new irrigation system that would cover all the orchards. I told her no. She did not take my refusal well. I then told her that the farm would never be financially viable and that she should sell it. She took that ... even less well. It was a family farm, you see. One that had been in the family since her grandmother was a blank-flanked filly. She wouldn’t see reason about selling it.”
“‘Cause of the whole family legacy thing,” Rainbow filled in. “I know a lot about that. Comes from being friends with Kickers. So your ex felt like if she’d sold the farm, she’d be letting all her ancestors down and stuff.”
“Precisely.” I dabbed at my eyes, finding a slight bit of moisture there. “We quarreled over the matter. Terribly. At the end of it I moved out. It was only supposed to be for a few days, until we’d both calmed down. However, every time we tried to set things right ... there was just no way to reconcile the matter. She couldn’t give up the farm, and I could not continue to support it. After two months of separation, a new business opportunity arose that could only be pursued if I moved to Canterlot.”
“And that was it?” Rainbow asked, worrying at her lower lip.
“Yes.” I procured a hoofkerchief and wiped my eyes. “I visited her a final time, and we made an official end of things. Handled all the legal paperwork and such.”
Rainbow wordlessly extended a single wing, and pulled me into a gentle, friendly embrace. For a time she simply held me, then at last offered some words of comfort. “That sucks.”
They were not particularly good words of comfort, but the sentiment was still appreciated. “Thank you, Rainbow Dash. You ... I think I would be pleased to call you my friend, from now on.”
She blinked in surprise at my declaration, then grinned and bumped hooves with me. “Yeah, we’re totally gal-pals now.”
Clearly some adjustments would need to be made on both our parts. Still, I was glad for the opportunity. I suppose I owed Fluttershy some thanks for her scheme. Though I had no interest in pursuing the mare romantically, a true friend is a thing to be treasured.
There was really nothing more to be said after confirming our friendship. Bunny was still sleeping, and for the moment both of us seemed quite content with silently enjoying one another’s company. Rainbow’s wing was still around me from the earlier hug. She seemed to be in no great hurry to remove it, and I had no intention of asking her to do so.
Such was our position when Fluttershy and Cloud Kicker returned home. Needless to say, the two of them took one look at our relative positions and immediately leaped to the wrong conclusions. “Well, don’t you two look cozy?” Cloud gave us a knowing grin, then turned to her wife.
Thankfully, Fluttershy had several hours of separation anxiety to contend with, and had far greater concerns than her ongoing plans to make a couple of myself and Rainbow Dash. “Where’s Bunny? Where’s my baby? Is she okay?! Did you remember to feed her and change her and burp her after you fed and give her a blanket and when you fed her did you remember to warm her milk up but not make it too warm and when you held her did you remember to support her neck and—”
Cloud gently cut her off with a hoof on her lips. “Fluttershy? Sweetie? Relax. I’m sure she’s fine. Rarity and Rainbow know how to take care of her.”
Fluttershy took a few deep breaths, and when she continued she was a bit less on the verge of a panicked meltdown. “Oh, I’m sure they took good care of her.” Something about the way she said that carried just the slightest ominous tone to it. Apparently, violent overprotectiveness and anxiety were rather closely linked.
Still, prudence dictated that we show her that her foal was okay before she worked herself up into a state. Well, more of a state. Fortunately, she was still happily snoozing, so levitating her was a simple matter compared to my earlier efforts when she’d been squirming about and generally being uncooperative. The instant she laid eyes on her foal, Fluttershy took wing and flew to her side, then gently picked the sleeping baby up and gently cradled her. “Hello, Bunny. Flummy’s back now, and she’s never, ever, ever going to leave you again!”
The sound of Cloud’s hoof meeting her own face was audible.
Clearly, her efforts to make her wife get out a bit more were still something of a work in progress. Cloud Kicker stepped up, and put a hoof on her wife’s shoulder. “Look, Fluttershy, we were out for most of the evening, right?”
Fluttershy paused, her hold of Bunny tightening ever so slightly. “Yes?”
“And when we came back, Bunny was fine, right?”
A slight frown appeared on Fluttershy’s lips. “Well, yes, I suppose, but...”
“So,” Cloud continued her calm but relentless train of logic. “It seems to me like there’s no problem with us getting out of the house some, as long as we have a good foalsitter keeping an eye on her for us.”
“But...” Fluttershy let out a small, distressed whimper. “But she’s my baby!” Fluttershy unleashed the full force of her sad, pleading eyes on Cloud Kicker.
“She’s my daughter too, Fluttershy,” Cloud answered her. “But I don’t spend all day, every day cooped up in the house with her. You need some balance in your life.” Cloud cleared her throat, then turned to face myself and Rainbow Dash. “So, there’s an opera I was hoping to take Fluttershy to next week. Are either of you free?”
Well, there was only one opera in Canterlot that a pony of good taste and sophistication would be going to next week. “You will be attending the performance of Die Neighbelung as well?” I asked, quite enthused by the prospect. “I reserved my seat a month ago.”
Rainbow flushed a bit, and mumbled, “I’m actually kinda-sorta going to that too.” Everypony stared at her in surprise, and her blush deepened a shade. “Storm had an extra ticket, and she asked, so...”
“Well, in that case I guess we won’t be able to go after all,” Fluttershy declared, sounding not in the least upset by that. “So, I’ll just—”
“Sparkler’s free,” Cloud gently cut her off. “It’s a school night, so she won’t be up to anything too crazy.”
“Oh. Right.” Fluttershy deflated a bit, then took a deep breath. “Okay.” She turned to the foal in her arms, smiling gently down at her. “Sweetie? Sometimes Flummy might need to go out for a bit to have a social life. She still loves you very very much, and she’ll make sure there’s always a good pony here to take care of you, but Flummy needs some time for herself too.”
Bunny shifted in her forelegs, rubbing her cheek against Fluttershy’s chest. “Wrrrm Flummy.”
Cloud smiled approvingly at her wife and child, then trotted up to Rainbow’s side and murmured, “And you said I was whipped.”
“You are whipped,” Rainbow shot right back. “But maybe you’re not completely whipped.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Cloud rolled her eyes and nudged her friend with a wing. “So ... you’re going to the opera with my cousin, are you?”
“Shut up,” Rainbow grumbled.
Cloud turned to me, a teasing grin in place. “Looks like you might have some competition, Rarity.”
“We’re just friends,” Rainbow growled. “Me and Rares, and me and Storm. Also, shut up.”
Cloud turned to me, her smile still firmly in place. “So, Rarity, did you have a date for the opera? Since Rainbow and Storm are just going as friends, maybe you could pry her away from—”
“As Rainbow said, we are nothing more than friendly acquaintances.” I glanced at my new friend and shared a quick smile with her. “As she also said: shut up.”
Rainbow snorted and offered me a hoof bump, which I graciously accepted. Once more she unleashed her terrible imitation of my own manner of speaking, but this time it was lacking the bitter mockery of its previous iteration. “I must say, darling, you make an absolutely delightful companion.”
“Yeah,” I responded, imitating her rougher manner of speaking. “You’re pretty cool too.”
Author's Note
As always, due thanks to my pre-reading team of Comma-Kazie, Ponibius, Jake The Ginger, Trinary, Incidental Pegasus No. 5, Luminary, Swiftest Shadow, Blue Paladin 42, Infinion, Mrjerrio, Rodinga, Merlin O' Cloudsdale, and CloudFangHammerWarden.
