Pain.

Mind numbing pain was all I felt.

"uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggghhhh" I appropriately stated as I started to get up and look around.

I was in the middle of a startlingly large field with small patches of bushes and trees dotted around my vision. "that is the last time I let someone else give me drugs". I said to myself in a calm manner. Normal people would freak out if they woke up in the middle of nowhere, but for one, this isn't the first time this has happened to me, and two, I can easily survive by myself because I have lived with a half country family all my life. Half because we live in the ghetto. But lets not draw on that. At some point I decided to look somewhere besides directly in front of me, what i saw was probably the most beautiful thing i have ever seen in my life.

A glimmering white and shiny castle. Now, I LOVE architecture so this was really exciting. The castle was at least 30 stories high and it was built in a mountain, it looked like there was some city surrounding it, but I have seen enough cities to have the effect wear out on me, But a castle! "sweet" I said to myself. "well I have no idea where I am so I might as well explore the place". Yet as I said that, I couldn't help but feel like I had seen it before. "meh" I mumbled to myself as I started walking.

TWO HOURS LATER
*GASP*INHALES DEEPLY*

"Thats....a....long....fucking....walk" I breathed between gasps of air, kneeling down and cupping my hands on my knees. As my pudgy outline suggested, I didn't exercise that much. Not to say I don't get out though.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MONSTER!!!!!" someone yelled.

"WHAT WHERE" I shot up, looking around. Nothing. Hell I didn't even see who screamed.

"IT TALKS!?" the woman shouted again.

Realizing my mistake I looked a bit further down and saw something I never could have been prepared for.

A pony.

"Whoa, last time I take drugs this hard" I said mostly to myself. I looked at the pony in greater detail. obviously I already knew she was a mare, she had light brown fur, A black main and tail, And a cutie mark depicting 5 rocks being hit by a hammer.

"d-d-drugs?" asked the mare. "are y-you gonna drug me?"

"what? no, I mean why should I?"

"b-because your a monster and are going to eat my organs" At this point the mare looked like she was going to piss herself, so I had to find a way to make myself look less intimidating. I decided that the best way to do that would be to kneel on the ground and seem smaller, after all I was twice as tall as her. Halfway down she flipped out and ran of screaming "NOOOO its gonna eat me"...... Could have gone better.

I got up and started walking towards the city, which I can now assume is canterlot. Obviously I am tripping balls so might as well enjoy it.

"VILE CREATURE! WHY HAVE YOU COME TO MY LANDS!?" a mare screamed from the air, landing rather heavily, and burned her a hole through my soul with a VERY angry glare. Now, I still think i am in some lala land so the reality of the situation doesn't quite reach me. So know that my next statement was the first thing to come to mind, and that it wasn't. the best way to introduce myself.

"Sup Princess Sunbutt, Wheres lulu?"
Fucking. Genius.

If she was mad before, now she was fucking furious. he ethereal hair grew a bit.... redder, her eyes grew darker, her coat started shimmering with a faint golden taint. And her horn began to charge. Before I could react, a ray of light hit me straight in my chest, effectively launching me FAR across the field, probably back to where I started. The ray also managed to cause me a great deal of pain so I was screaming the entire "trip". Landing, I grabbed my chest and educated some fillies in a clubhouse nearby on how to properly speak in kind. "GOD FUCKING DAMMIT THAT HURT! WHAT THE MOTHER FUCKING COCK SUCKING WHORE MONGERING BITCH OF A REASON DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?!?!? FUCK!!!"

Looking over I saw Celestia flying toward me at extreme speeds. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU SHOOT ME". She got to me and immediately uppercut me with her front right hoof. "DON'T!" she slammed both her front hooves on my head, throwing me into the ground. "CALL!" She used her magic to lift me out of the ground and electrocute me. "HER!" and to end it, she turned around, reared her back legs, and sent me off using a buck that would put applejack's to shame. "THAT!" she howled, starting to calm down.

but after that last buck, I was out. Gone. Knocked cold. I don't really know what happened next. Or who saved me. Could have been luck. Could have been discord, or that black thing that sent me here.All I know is that when I came to, I was deep in the forest......lodged in a tree.

Author's Note

any ideas for the future? TELL ME!?!?! im open to suggestions.