Various Tales of the Night Shift

It was the night before I had an eight page paper due on a historical figure. Princess Celestia tried to entice me into not doing Star Swirl the bearded for the ninth time in a row by making it extra credit to do any other pony from history but him, but I just couldn't resist. I had planned to do it after dinner that day, but I had stay up late because I had to find a spell for Pinkie's new flaming cupcake recipe.

Oh yeah! I remember that!

I'm STILL trying to get the hot sauce out of my mane...

In hindsight, not the best idea.

Understatement of the century.

Anyway, it was around witching hour when Spike woke up.

     Spike slowly walked down the stairs, yawning, "Twilight? I thought you were gonna to bed a few hours ago"

     "Oops," Twilight giggled, "Sorry, Spike, time flies when you're having fun I suppose!"

     "Right. 'Fun' is staying up until it's pitch black outside to write about some dead guy," Spike rolled his eyes, "I'll make you some peanut butter crackers. You could use some brain food"

     Twilight narrowed her vision, but went back to her writing as soon as he was gone, reading aloud what she wrote to see if it sounded right, "Contrary to popular belief, Star Swirl the bearded's taste in oats grew weary over time"

     "...no, that doesn't sound right" she muttered as she violently scratched out the last part of the sentence in her intense concentration.

I love the sound of a quill scratching against a paper. It always means I'm closer to getting an A. Sometimes I write so hard I break the end of the quill. That's when things started to get a little weird.

     Scrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrt- snap!

     Twilight frowned and stared at the splintered end of her broken quill in dismay.

     "Darn. I'm getting too excited. Maybe I should..." she said as she trailed off.

Scrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtch

     Her ears twitched slightly as she focused intently to confirm that she could actually hear the strange noise.

     The noise was so faint that she barely noticed it, but it wasn't like any normal noise, like a branch scraping against the window outside. It was a diligent and consistent scratching sound that could have only been made by something living, like the sound of a saw moving back and forth across a log.

     Raising an eyebrow, Twilight turned to the kitchen and shouted, "Spike, is that you making that scratching noise?"

     The scratching got louder and, as she looked over to one of her bookcases, she could have SWORN that it was moving. She moved closer to it curiously and was about to pull the books from the shelf.

     "What did you want, Twilight?" Spike said as peeked his head into the room.

     And with that, the noise vanished.

     Perplexed, Twilight pulled the books from the shelf carefully, but found nothing behind them.

     "Er, nothing, Spike," she said as she turned back to him, "I just thought I heard something is all"

     Spike raised his eyebrow and opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it at the last second, shrugged, and wordlessly went back to the kitchen. Twilight went back to her desk, and it was a few seconds after he left as Twilight searched for a new quill that the noise returned, louder this time.

Scrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtchscrtch

     This time it was coming from the bookcase on the other side of the room.

     Twilight decided to investigate. She slowly tiptoed to the bookcase and, with one quick (and possibly even a little overly-dramatic, like she had seen in the movies) motion, removed the shuffling books with her magic.

     Behind them she saw several small, grey, ugly creatures with tiny fangs sticking just outside of their lips due to their monkey-like overbite. Their rough, elephant-like skin had a few odd grey hairs sticking out at various places across their bodies, and a few had thick warts tacked onto their faces like nails. Their posture and appearance as they squatted down made them look strikingly similar to overgrown rats, bar the long, lanky arms and legs.

     "Er, hello," Twilight tried, "Can you talk, uh...whatever you are?"

     "Nope" one replied conclusively in a gravely voice.

     The others put their claws over their mouths to suppress their snickers.

     Confused, Twilight tried again, "But you just-"

     "We can't talk, stupid pony must be going crazy" the creature replied conclusively, apparently losing hold of its straight face as his comrades behind it openly giggled.

     Twilight raised an eyebrow, then decided to apply logic, "If you can't talk, then how can I understand you?"

     It shook its head sharply, "Nope. Stupid pony's going crazy. Gremlins can't talk to stupid ponies. Gremlins don't even understand stupid ponies"

     Every time it said 'stupid pony,' its colleagues' laughter would get louder until Twilight got frustrated and tried to quiet them down, "Then what are you doing in my house?"

WORK IN PROGRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

     "Well, uh, alright," Twilight said awkwardly as she tried to change the subject, "What are you all doing in my house, then?"

     She smiled in hopes of winning the creature's heart over with its stomach, "Well, my friend Spike is coming back soon with some peanut butter crackers. Maybe we could-"

     Without warning, the creature jumped onto her face and bit her horn.

     Twilight screamed and tried ripping the thing off in a panic, "Eeeeek! Get it off! Get it off!"

     Spike ran into the room, "Twilight! What's wrong!?"

     She turned to Spike and pointed to her face, but the creature had vanished.

     "What? What?" Spike yelled, circling her a few times to see if he had missed something.

     Twilight tried explaining in the three seconds she had to think, "Th-there was this little grey thing that- And then it- And it just..."

     "Twilight, Twilight, just take a deep breath and calm down. Whatever you were reading about isn't going to hurt you. It's all in your head" he said as he stroked her mane gently.

     "But- But I-" she stuttered before stopping and sighing deeply, "Oh, nevermind..."

     Spike gave her a funny look, "I'm almost done with the peanut butter crackers...don't freak out in the time that I'm gone"

     When he left, she took a sweeping look around the room before slowly returning to her desk. She felt her horn and, sure enough, it was wet with a sticky liquid, as if something had licked it.

     "How could I possibly have imagined that?" she muttered to herself.

     Once back to her desk, she continued looking for a quill to replace her old one. A grey claw reached over her shoulder and handed her one.

     She grabbed it appreciatively, "Thanks, Spi-"

     Twilight spun around quickly and readied her horn but, to her surprise, nothing was there. She heard several snickers and even a high-give in the shadows, but they were gone as soon as they came. Turning around slowly and dipping her quill in her ink pot, she opted to ignore that last one since it was helpful.

     Shaking it off, she dawned her game face and got back in the moment, "Oats didn't interest-"

Snap! sploossshhh...

     The brittle tip of the qull immediately snapped when it made contact with the paper and ink hidden inside the quill spilled out onto her paper. It quickly soaked through her first page and down the stack, ruining her entire draft. It was a prank quill!

     Taking a few moments to realize what had just happened, Twilight's eyes grew sinister, "Nopony..."

     Just then, Spike walked into the room with a plate full of peanut butter crackers, "All fin-"

     "NOPONY RUINS MY ASSIGNMENT AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!" Twilight screamed, breathing heavily through her nose.

     Steam poured out of each nostril like a bull with each breath she took as she scanned the bookshelves for any sign of movement.

     Spike, awe-struck, nearly dropped the snack plate in surprise, "Woah! Geez, Twilight, don't scare me like that..."

     She turned to Spike in a rage, "Look what the little punks did to my paper! They RUINED it!"

     Holding her dripping stack of papers up for Spike to see, he tilted his head in confusion, "Uh...is this an art assignment, Twilight?"

     "No, I-" Twilight stopped as she saw one sneaking up on Spike.

     "Spike, freeze!" She said, readying a spell, "There's one behind you..."

     "Wuh-what?" Spike gasped, tensing up, "Twilight, what's wrong?"

     Just then, the creature knocked the platter out of his claw and onto the ground. Scurrying back into the shadows as it dodged several magical blasts from Twilight.

     One grazed Spike's shoulder, "Ow! What are you doing, Twilight!?"

     "Oh no!" Twilight said, pausing and running up to Spike, "Did I hit you?"

     He cupped his small wound, but wouldn't let her see, "Uh, no! I-I'll get myself a bandaid. You just...stay here"

     Without another word he ran into the kitchen as fast as his little legs could take him.

     Twilight growled, "Where are you!? Show yourselves!"

     Just then, a pack of the tiny beasts dove onto the peanut butter crackers on the ground. Demolishing the pile in ten seconds flat, the group of hungry beasts turned their attention to Twilight.

     They hissed at her before one spoke up with a toothy grin, "Huuungry! Feeding time!"

     She flared up her horn, "Stay back! I'm warning you! I'm not afraid to toast you little beasts!"

     Just then, the power went out, and she heard cackles in the darkness. They tried to seize her moment of confusion and pounced on her all at once, bt she blasted them off. It was then that Twilight heard Spike scream from the kitchen.

     "Spike!" she yelled back as a hoarde of the beasts descended on her.

     But it was no use, there were too many. They chased her out of her own house and down the street.

It was a good thing I read up on running for the Running of the Leaves Celebration, because I had to run all the way to Fluttershy's.

I don't care if hungry creatures are running after me; I simply couldn't run that distance. I'd RUIN my pedicure, not to mention what the sweat would do to my mane!

You'd rather be eaten alive than mess up your mane?

One should look good no matter what they're doing.

It don't matter how good you look when you're in another creature's stomach, sugarcube.

Ahem. Anyway, they chased me all the way to Fluttershy's cottage.

You went in my house?

Sorry Fluttershy, but in a choice between death and trespassing, I'll take the misdemeanor any day.

Oh, right, good point...

I pounded on the door, "Fluttershy! Open up! I'm being chased by a bunch of little monsters!"

She didn't answer, so I let myself in and slammed the door behind me.

     The creatures scratched at the door and windows for a few moments before stopping. The sudden silence was unsettling to Twilight. She heard them moving through the bushes around the house, looking for a way in.

     It was then that she heard them going single-file up the downspout and into the gutter on the roof.

     She heard maniacal laughter as they neared the chimney. Her heart pounded as they started to chant,

"Oh little pony, please don't run!

You're going to miss out on all the fun!

We saw you working and had to meet you,

Now we're tired and want to EAT YOU!"

     Twilight gasped and backed away from the fireplace in horror before bumping into a bookshelf. Several heavy books fell on her before one massive encyclopedia hit her directly on the head.

     Shaking it off, she looked down at the title and read it aloud without thinking, "The Encyclopedia of Cryptids"

     Blinking, she turned back to the fireplace to hear their second verse as they climbed down,

"Safe in this house, you thought you would be,

but no pony is safe from the scourge of we!

For WE fight, claw, and leave you trembling,

because we are, and are proud to be, GREMLINS!

     It clicked on Twilight and she looked back down at the book that had hit her on the head. She flipped through the pages as fast as she could looking for gremlins, hoping desperately that the book knew how to stop them.

     "Aha! Gremlins! Found them!" she exclaimed as one peaked his head out of the firecase.

     She ignored it and focused on the one thing she knew how to do; read.

     Skimming the introduction, she moved onto the lore surrounding them. The gremlins crept closer. They went slowly to build fear in her, but she was too focused on the book to notice.

Luckily, I found a story about a young colt who had bested gremlins when he was skipping school. He had killed them by giving them a riddle that they couldn't solve.

     Looking up from the book, she noticed the gremlins were but a foot away from her.

    She swallowed hard, gathered some courage, and said, "I have a riddle for you, gremlins"

     They stopped, drool dripping from their jaws, and scowleded, "What does that matter? We're about to eat you!"

     "Gremlin law says that if you gremlins are presented with a riddle, they MUST answer it," Twilight said shaking her head as she pointed to a paragraph in the book.

    Frowning, a gremlin crossed his arms and tapped his foot, "I hate it when they know their constitutional rights...fine, fine, but make it quick. We have never been given a riddle that we haven't been able to solve, anyway"

    "Thank you," Twilight smiled slyly, "Ahem...this is something that's more complex than a super computer but simpler than a circle. It can be sabotaged or damaged like any machine, but has the ability to patch itself back up if it really tries. It's not a physical object, but I treasure it more than all the money in Equestria. What is it?"

     The gremlins, drawing a blank, huddled up. Several of them peaked out

     FRIENDSHIP BIATCHESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!