Life of a DJ

I finally had contact to Octy today. It's weird, she made the first step, though I am the one who should contact her, and of course I tried, but you know how that ended. I mean, I wasn't even able to do the first step, but still I feel bad that she had to. So after I gave up trying to visit her every day, I found this letter in my mailbox today. A letter from her, telling me about her feelings and thoughts, and... nevermind, I'll just add it here:

Dear Vinyl,
First of all: Please, please, stop showing up here almost every day, you have no idea how much it makes me hate myself to make Beauty sent you away every time. You must know, I really want to talk to you, I know how you must be feeling, but you have to understand that I can't just brush aside what happened. You were the pony I trusted more than anypony else, and you deceived me, destroyed my trust in you. I just need more time to be ready to meet you, and don't think I wouldn't know we have to meet and talk. I'm aware we have to do this, and we will, just give me more time. You still are one of the most important parts of my life, but I don't know if we can keep this up like we used to. I honestly hope, but the way you treated me won't make it easy for me to decide.
Please don't reply to this letter, I'll soon tell you place and time to meet. I hope you'll find time for it.
Love,

Octavia

Can you believe it? 'I hope you'll find time for it.'? Of course I'll find time for it! I'll always find time for her! No matter what would be happening, I wouldn't dare to say no to her offer, no matter when and where!

This one sentence is killing me. 'You deceived me'. I did. I deceived the most wonderful mare in Equestria, I cheated on the love of my life. But maybe there is still hope for us. Though she said she doesn't know if we could keep it up, she also said I'm still important to her. I know what she means with this, she still loves me, just like I still love her. Love is a feeling you can't just blow away when you feel like doing it, it's strong enough to remain even after a serious incident like the one I caused, and that's the good thing about it. I still have the chance to get everything fixed, to get Octy back here. I don't know how, but I know I can. No, I will! I won't let this chance fade away unused. Whenever she wants to meet me, I'll be prepared to fight for our relationship. No matter the costs, I won't give up. And maybe, hopefully, I will succeed.

Octy is intelligent. I'm sure she will understand how much I need her in my life, the question is just if she still needs me just as much. I really hope so, I wish for it more than anything else... But still I have some doubts. And I have no idea how I would react if he ends our relationship once and for all. Would we stay friends even after it? Would she even want us to stay friends? To be honest, I don't hope so. If she decides to end our relationship, I know I won't be able to stay just friends with her. But where should I go? Our apartment I mostly paid by her, so I'd have to move out. I can't live with her after I lost her, this would break me, it would be my end.

Do I have any options where to go? Not much. My parents? No way. I'm sure they don't even want me show up at there house, living with them would be more difficult than getting Princess Celestia to wear a banana suit. Maybe I can move in with this other DJ, Electra. She's great, we met in Club Canterlot two years ago and stayed friends since then, I'm sure she'd provide me shelter for a time. Actually we haven't seen each other for a few weeks, maybe I should take a visit there to get my thoughts away from Octy and those things I can't do anything about but waiting.

Well, that sounds like a good idea. Getting a bit time off my mind sure will be nice.