You Wouldn't Happen To Be The Jarl Would You?

by SCP Pinkamena

Rating: teen
Tags: Gore, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Dark, Human, Anthro, Main 6, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 3404

They say that the greastest people are in the greastest compony. But with the Dragonborn, this is not the case.

It's not everyday that the Dragonborn goes out and about. O' course, last time he did he dropped by my home. Literally. A dragon knocked him from the mountain and he crashed through the roof an onto the bed. He killed the dragon, and gave me about 1,000 septims for ruining my house.

The Dragonborn? Yeah, I've seen him. He's an odd fellow, but a... giddy one. He's easily excitable, can carry a burden or two, and he's a fine worker and warrior. The only problem? He always comes back either unscathed or near-dead. Always patched him up for what it was worth though.

The last time I saw the Dragonborn was around Morthal. Yeah, he took up Benor and after a good fight, he decided to tag along with him. It's not everyday you see a man in all types of Dwarfish, Orkish, and Elven armor running around killing dragons... Although, I wonder what happened to the Dragonborn fellow? What I heard is that he up and disappeared one night, no hair nor hide of him. The only thing we found was a small note saying that someone needed him in a far off land. The only place I can think of is Elsweyr, but then again, maybe it's not that far away.

Published 2014-01-02 21:40:10 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-01 13:31:18 UTC

Prologue: Going To Hell In A Casket

*SPLASH!*

"Oh great... you're stuck in a coffin in the middle of river. Way to go, Jerry. What could be worse?" His ear perked a bit when he heard a rumbling roar.

"BY TALOS! WHEN WILL MY BAD LUCK END!"

One Hour Earlier...

"You'll be so much easier to rob when you're— Oh, it's just you." The bandit said putting away her axe.

"What do mean 'It's just me'? Do bandits really not want to mess with anymore?" The man complained.

"Yes, actually." The bandit told him before walking away into the mountain side. He was stunned to say the least, a bandit not wanting to do anything to him? Well, yeah he defeated Alduin but other than that he was just another normal guy! He sighed and took off Volsung, a mask that he acquired by involuntarily killing a Dragon Priest, and rubbed his forehead. He replaced his mask and made his way towards... somewhere.

Ever since the defeat of Alduin, no one wanted to pick a fight with him. Not even the Brotherhood and their assassins wanted anything to do anything with him. It was... unusual. Normally, he would laugh off things like this. But now...

He didn't like it. At all.

When ever he went to do small mercenary work, he felt the thrill again, but only for a little bit. There were times where he called out her name and when he didn't see her...

"Hahahaha! Lydia, when you said you were a Thane, I didn't know you meant, 'Give me an axe and make me angry, see what happens' type of girl!" the Dragonborn called from over his shoulder.

"Well, it's not everyday that—HeeeRAGH!— one finds herself in the middle of a Vampire cave!" Lydia called back, blocking the incoming sword and swiping back with her battle axe. The Vampire fell limp and fell to the ground, as he and Lydia sheathed there weapons.

"Hmmm... Lydia, do me a favor and find anything of value. I'll look around and make sure that there's no one else in here." He said and after a 'sure' and a nod he looked in the other rooms of the cave. He found one Vampire sitting in his chair reading a book. Taking out a small iron dagger, he began slowly creeping towards him he turned his knife pommel up and plunged in down into the Vampires head, killing him instantly.

When he stood up he reached inside of his pockets grabbing an amount of 50 gold septims. He turned his attention to the table to see what books he had, and it had turned out that 'The Lusty Argonian Maid' was a very popular book. With a bright red face that was thankfully hidden behind his mask, he turned around to leave.

"Lydia! C'mon we're going to White—"

"AHHHGG!!"

He eyes widened. "Lydia!" He ran back to the main chamber and fast as he could before the horrible sight met his eyes. Lydia stood with a blade poking out of her chest and the one responsible was still clinging to the grip. The Dragonborn ran towards the Vampire with his own sword and stabbed her through and and through killing her almost instantly. Lydia whimpered and fell too, but was caught as he launched his out and grabbed her.

"Some adventure hey?" She said with a smile, albeit a painful one. "Jericho—"

"Don't call me that... you know not to..." He said as she pulled his mask off and tears fell from his and landed on her face.

"As... as a T-thane... I'm sworn to pr-protect you no matter what..." She was right, but he wanted her to be wrong. Her hand found his and guided it back to the blade's handle. "Pull it out." She said.

He choked back a sob closed his eyes tight before he pulled the sword out of her and watched as she slowly went pale. He moved her hair out of the way and gave her a kiss on the forehead and put her own sword into her hands. "May you have a safe journey to Sovngarde."

She gave a little laugh. "I'm going to Sovngarde? I thought I already was!" Then she closed her eyes and her chest stopped rising... He finally couldn't hold back any longer. He cried long and hard at her death, yelling and screaming that it should of been him and not her. He had lost a good friend that day, and no one could replace her.

He suddenly had to fight back tears and continued his way. He ran into a few Forsworn caravans, which he decimated. He ran into a few Trolls and he killed them without a second though.

Twas a normal day for Jericho, also known as the Dragonborn.

He sighed deeply and before he even noticed it an arrow struck his side. I didn't go very deep, but deep enough to something. Slowly, he pulled out the arrow and noticed a small white substance on it. The only thing he remembered was what said substance was before he fell over unconscious.

"Hehehe... Even the Dragonborn has a few weaknesses," A clearly male voice said, "And to think, all it took was just a mixture of slow poison and paralysis poison?" He picked up Jericho and put him in a horse drawn cart before he took off with him.

Summer Sun Celebration: Equestria

"Today's Summer Sun Celebration will be canceled until further notice." Celestia said earning a mix of shock, confusion, and disappointment. "But," and a pinch of hope, "You may still enjoy the festivities. Just keep in mind that celebration will continue when the matter is dealt with." She said before winking out and popping back into the castle. Her brow furrowed and her palms were sweaty as she looked at the coffin in front of her and her guards.

As she was ordering the guards, a sudden thump resounded from the coffin. Everyone stopped and stared at it and it jumped again. Everyone watched closely as a small blade, most likely a dagger, popped out from the side and traveled its way up to find the first nail. It traveled more downwards to find the second one.

The blade retracted itself and then there was silence once again.

FUS RO DAH!

An amazing shout and wave of energy destroyed the lid of the coffin and a strange creature covered in black armor and a weird bronze mask covered by a hood stood up out of it. He sheathed his dagger and looked at the guards who had their spears and swords pointed at him. Jericho turned around to see Princess Celestia staring at him with a shocked expression. He cleared his throat.

"You... wouldn't happen to be the Jarl would you?"

Author's Note

What's funny is that some of this stuff is true. Had I known that Volsung was a dragon priest I would have fought him on a higher level. But then again, I should get props for killing a Dragon Priest on level 13.

Chapter 1: Be At Peace Beast

"What?" Celestia asked with genuine confusion. Never once had she'd seen a creature like this. It walked with a soft step, almost detectible to the trained ear, it's mask was that of a bronze, but at this close of a distance, looked more like corundum. A surprisingly large bag was hefted on its back, with various weapons and armors sticking out. The garb it was in was all black, not counting the hood and its fingers were sticking out from the gloves.

If it had shown its face, it would've been mistaken for the common pony. Its just that Celestia knew this wasn't a pony because she had never seen the Royal Canterlot Voice used that powerfully. Even Luna, who was a master at it, wouldn't compare to it. Jericho sighed and went to one of the tables and pulled up two chairs and sat in one. He gestured towards the other chair.

"Zu'u tinvaak fin sahkren se Dovah." He said in an odd language. Celestia knew it sounded familiar, but yet, she could not put her finger on it. He spoke again. "I said, 'I speak the tongue of dragonkind'. Are there not Dragons here?" He asked crossing his arms with his head tilted in a confused position. Despite the awkward situation, he could still smile behind his mask and make all sorts of faces while the others only saw a blank piece of metal.

"Oh, no there are Dragons here, it's just I could not place your dialect. Please, stay seated as I get my—"

"Sister!" Luna screamed out as the doors flew open. "What, pray tell, is this creature We happen to gaze upon? It is not of Dragon decent nor of Griffon. Explain thyself beast or lest you face the Moon Goddesses wrath!"

After his cape stopped blowing, he cleared his throat and gasped a breath of air.

"KAAN DREM OV!"

A sudden feeling of peace washed over everybody in the room. Luna's rage dwindled down to nothing but a smolder, Celestia's fears were quashed by relief. Even the guards who had swords and spears up suddenly found themselves sheathing them away.

He cleared his throat again and pulled another chair from the table and once again gestured to them. Once they were seated, Jericho spoke. "Now," His voice showed no signs of hostility whatsoever. "What's with all the shouting?"

The sisters looked at him. "Shouting? I wasn't shouting at you." Celestia confirmed while crossing her arms.

"Forgive us, We normally do not see creatures such thyself. Tis the way we respond to... 'New' things." Luna said shyly, totally the opposite of what she was just a few seconds ago. "But, We heard a thunderous voice and we quickly came to aid her... We— I now see that this was not the case..." She said putting her head down in shame.

A cough escaped Jericho's throat as he adjusted himself in the seat. "I understand seeing something new," he said nodding at her. "Only two things confused me more than anything. A talking dog by the name of Barbas back home in Skyrim, and... whatever you all are..." He said pointing at the two sisters.

"We are Equestrians, but you can call us Ponies for short or if you can't remember." Celestia said sitting down in her seat followed by Luna. "Guards," They all stood at attention. "Please leave us, my sister and I will speak to... I'm sorry I didn't really get your name?"

"Oh, it's..."

"Think quickly Jerry, quickly!"

"Romeas. Telchio Romeas."

"Oh? Quiet a strange name if you don't mind me saying? Please leave us and my sister and I will speak to Telchio." She said. The guards, both Day and Night, saluted and exited the room. As soon as the door closed, Luna was the first to speak.

"My sister may not of seen it, but I did. While your face may hide behind the barrier of a mask, we can still see through your lies. Tell us your real name or I will call the guards back inside." She said with a furrowed brow. Behind his mask, his eyes shot wide open and his eyebrows along with them. She saw through him? But how?

He sighed in defeat. "Fine," his voice suddenly grow more bitter. "But what is said never leaves this room. My name is Jericho, and I'm someone special. For I have been gifted with the blood of Akatosh. Because of this, I became someone known in my world as the Dragonborn.

Over the Dragon Badlands, otherwise known as Dragonia, a rift similar to an aurora opened in the middle of a field.

"AAAHHH!!!"

*THOOM*

In the newly formed crater of the field lied a jet-black dragon, with dangerous glowing red eyes and torn wings. "Duraal Dovahkiin." He said as he struggled to push himself upwards. "I am the First-Born of Akatosh... I cannot be defeated so easily..." He growled as he took his first step forward. He the cracking of bones and looked down at the skeletal remains of a Dragon. If he could, he would smile at this opportunity.

"SLEN! TIID! VO!"

Inside an ancient ruin long since forgotten, a lone figure sat inside praying on his knees silently. His eyes opened suddenly, and inside a spark that he hasn't had in quiet some time.

"Dovahkiin..." He whispered to himself before standing up with renewed vigor. He quickly ran outside with a mighty shout to the heavens.

"DOVAHKIIN!! You return to the land of Equestria in it's time of need!" He laughed as he ran faster to an ancient altar. When he threw open the doors, several others in the same garb looked stunned at his sudden appearance. "My brothers, he has returned. The Dragonborn has returned to us."

Author's Note

Very sorry for the wait, I'm getting lazy again...
Kaan Drem Ov = Kyne's Peace
Free Thu'um translation site!

Chapter 2: Nothing Says Bad Like A Flaming Bush

"...After going to Sovngarde, I met someone by the name Tsun. He was a giant compared to the men I've seen. He stood over me at least three heads higher, and he carried with him a large axe similar to the Ancient Nord weapons I used before I go these."

He gestured to his sword on his back and the dagger on his hip. "These weapons have helped me in more ways one can imagine. Mehrunes Razor, I found, has an incredibly small chance to kill on the first strike, however, I also found depending the strength of your enemy, the less likely the effect will happen. I've faced Dragons with this blade alone, and I've even seen some cower in fear by the sight of this little dagger."

Celestia was not too fond of killing. Yes, she has done it before, but only for the good of her people. Luna was more squeamish to killing. While she remembers being in wars with her sister killing countless Griffons or whatever they may have been facing, she was not comfortable knowing that a small little knife could be so deceiving and destroy with only a single touch.

"The sword on back is called the Ebony Blade. According to Mephala, the Daedric Prince of Whispers, this blade not only gives back vitality to the wielder but also is strengthened by the blood of deceit. Now, at first I thought that meant killing people like assassins, thieves, bandits and highwaymen. But no..."

Jericho sat silent for a moment before speaking again. "It feeds off of your deceit..." He left that sentence hang before it dawned on the sisters.

"If you don't mind me asking... who?" Celestia asked.

He sighed. "It was... someone who I would rather not speak about... All I know is that he wanted to destroy the sun. Regardless if he was someone like me, I would not let him do that."

"Harkon you fool... While we may have came to a compromise by mixing the two bloods together, you would've destroyed everything..."

"I have personally used this effect only two times. One time with a royal who sent me to assassinate a dearly loved ruler, and I already told you the second time..."

The room fell eerily silent as he told his tales and the two sisters listened intently. Tales of the living dead known in Skyrim as the "Draugr", tales of how he used his voice to render enemies helpless. All of these tales alarmed the princesses greatly, but yet they did not let show, however.

After he finished some of his tales, Celestia asked the question. The question he dreaded and feared to hear.

"Why is it you wear a mask?"

His chair flew out from under him because he stood so fast. "Never! NEVER! Ask that question again!" The Razor was out and he threateningly pointed it at her. "Some tales are never to be told twice..." Jericho's voice was low and dangerous, as if he were a mother bear protecting her cubs.

He breathed heavily, and with a sigh he picked the chair back up and sat down.

"Forgive me, I'm... sensitive about the mask. It was just a simple question, so I shall answer it. It... happened around three years ago..."

Three Years Prior: Ancient Volskygge Tombs, Skyrim

"How was I supposed to know what it was! I thought it would be another Draugr!" Jericho screamed as the long since dead Dragon Priest, Volsung the Cold, shot ice spike after ice spike at him and Lydia. "All I did was read the word! which turns out to be "Nah", for the Whirlwind Sprint shout!"

"That's real nice, Jeric—"

"I told you not to call me by my name! I only give it to important people! Like Meridia!" Jericho called back, interrupting Lydia as they kept fighting Volsung.

"If we survive this, you're taking me out to dinner!" Lydia called back striking the priest with her sword.

"It's a date!" He yelled, jumping on the priests back.

"YOL TOOR SHUL!"

"...And then after being treated for frostbite, Lydia and went over to the Winking Skeever in Solitude, and spent almost all of our septims on mead!" He finished with a laugh. "But... All in all, we had a good time together. Had I not been sloshed worse then boat captain, I would've proposed right then and there..."

"Oh?" Luna's eyebrow jumped at this. "You wanted to be wedded to your companion?" Celestia smirked a bit at Jericho's reaction of turning his head away quickly.

"Yes? Is there something wrong with wedding a friend here in... What was this place called again?"

"Equestria."

"Equestria? Thank you... Uhh..." Celestia and Luna held a playful smile on their faces, threatening to burst from laughing. "Oh, shut up! I've been in this place for what? Eleven minutes? And you expect me to remember your names? Her's I can remember, it's Luna, but yours?" He said making a few wild gestures at Celestia.

Finally the dam burst in both princesses as they laughed at Jericho's forgetfulness.

"At least they don't how I can read a map wrong..."

They both suddenly laughed even harder than before, with Luna falling to the floor and Celestia laughing "No more".

"Okay, okay," Jericho said getting up. "Why can't we all just calm down, and do things like normal adults?" He said getting up from his walking over towards them.

"Princess Celestia! Princess Luna!" A random burst through the door, kneeled and took off his helmet before looking back up to them. "A dragon is attacking Ponyville!"

While Jericho tried not to snicker at the name of the town, Celestia and Luna both ceased their laughing. "What kind of dragon, so we know what we are against?" Celestia said.

"A dragon as black as night..."

The guard was lifted in the air by Jericho. "Where is this, 'Ponyville'?"

Author's Note

I am aware that the priest's name is only Volsung, but I out "Volsung the Cold" because of his ice magic and ice cloak.
Fun Fact: For those that don't know, "Volsung" means "Horror".

No One Escapes Cidhna Mine...

2 Years Ago: Cidhna Mine, Markarth: Skyrim; 3:45PM

They took everything.

The clothes from his back, the weapons from pack, the potions, poisons, everything. They gave him in return some worn clothes and a pick axe.

Jericho sat in self-pity, the pickaxe laying at his crossed legs. Had he known that the Imperial spy had died already, he would've ran out of town as fast as possible. When the guards of Markarth came and took him away into Cidhna Mine, the guard told him one thing.

"No one escapes Cidhna Mine... No one."

Cidnha Mine, Markarth: Skyrim; 6:14AM

"Hey, buddy?"

Jericho looked up from his dirt bed, seeing Borkul the Beast.

"C'mon, we need to get working." He said before picking up a pickaxe and walking towards the nearest ore vein. As Jericho stood up to work, he heard it. The small little sound that made him suddenly get invigorated.

*Tkt, Tkt, Tkt*

He smiled and did something he thought he'd never do in so many years. He began to sing...

Author's Note

replace "trucks" with "trunks"