Law and Disorder: The Alicornian Blade
Chapter One: Training Day
Written by: Fluttashift and Shimmering Honor
The sun shone down on the beautiful town of Ponyville. The dew-ridden grass glistened as birds flew by chirping. Ponies of all races trotted around going about their daily routines. To most, this would seem like the most peaceful day. To me, however, well let’s just say things never go the way I plan them.
I trotted out of my small wooden house and began trotting up to the town square. Various stands selling food and other merchandise were set up all over town. I stopped by one with an orange earth pony working it. She had a yellow mane and tail tied at the ends and wore a cowpony hat.
“Well, howdy there Crimson!” She greeted me with a southern twang.
“Hey, Applejack. One apple please.” I replied my stomach growling.
Applejack snatched an apple in her mouth and set it on the counter.
“How much do I owe you?” Reaching back, I went to pull some bits from the brown saddlebags on my back.
“For ma third favorite unicorn? On the house!” The mare smiled at me.
“Thanks AJ. Have you seen Pinkie?” I took a bite out of the apple.
This made her giggle. “Yer marefriend is where she always is. Sugarcube Corner.”
I nodded and began trotting toward the large gingerbread house looking structure. Turning my head, I waved a goodbye to Applejack.Then out of the sky fell a blue pegasus. He landed on me causing my apple to fly forward and smack somepony in the back of the head.
“Ow, hey!” I groaned rubbing my head with a hoof.
“Sorry, didn’t see you there, lassy.” The pegasus said in a Trottingham accent getting to his hooves. He brushed himself off as I got up. “Now, did you see the pony I was chasing? Where did he go? And did you see my stetson?”
“Nope, no pony but here’s your hat.” I handed it to him and he placed it upon his head. I noticed the dark sunglasses he was wearing. Why are you chasing a pony?” I asked curiously.
“He’s a bounty and I’m a bounty hunter.” The pegasus answered simply.
My eyes widened in joy. “A bounty hunter?! I always wanted to to be a hunter but then I shot somepony’s ear off cause he stole my cupcake and I got my weapon taken away.”
“Right. I gotta get going…” He trailed off turning to leave.
“What’s your name!” I said in a sing-songy voice.
“Shimmering Honor. Yours?” Shimmering turned back around to face me.
“Crimson Blaze!” I announced happily. “So, you like a spy? Catching ponies for the princess?”
He began laughing. “Work for the princess? Lassy, it don't work like that. The local governing pony and authorities will put up a wanted poster with a amount of bits, bounty hunters go and collect, either dead or alive.” Shimmering explained.
“What’s a lassy?” I tilted my head in confusion.
“A mare.”
“I’m a stallion.” I gave him an annoyed look.
Shimmering coughed. “...Stallion. Oh, sorry I wasn’t paying attention.”
I waved a dismissive hoof. “It’s fine! I get it all the time!”
“What’s your talent, then? I told you mine.”
“Oh, I don’t have a cutie mark. I know it sounds weird but I lived in the Everfree most of my life.” Lowering my head, I noticed he didn’t have one either.
“I lost mine and forgot who I was, not weird at all laddy.” He gave me a reassuring smile.
I leapt up in excitement. “So, are we going after the Princess?” I cocked an eyebrow.
“No! What?” Shimmering looked angry then confused.
“Nevermind.” There goes my disorder acting up again. The only pony who understands me is Pinkie.
“Don’t joke like that. So, you wanna be a hunter?” He asked changing the subject.
I shrugged. “Why not?” I decided to give it a go. I hadn’t found my talent yet and this seemed like an opportunity.
“Well, since Ravage, the pony I was chasing escaped I guess we should find another bounty to get you started.” Shimmering looked around. “Uhh...where's the nearest guard post?”
“Guard Post? Oh well yeah there’s one over there!” I pointed a hoof north. “I got arrested three times last week so I know the route by heart!”
“Three times? For what?” He asked sounding worried.
“Having sex in public.” I smiled and said excitedly.
“Right, yeah.” Shimmering just laughed stupidly wondering what was wrong with me most likely.
We came up to a large bulletin board with many posters tacked onto it. Next to the board was two guards. One was a pegasus while the other an earth pony. Both wore gold armor and had the same gray coat color. Their manes were covered by their armor but, their protruding tails gave away one was purple and the other was yellow.
“Who goes there?” The pegasus guard turned to us and asked.
“You want some?” I said pushing him.
Shimmering practically threw me backward as he ran up to the guard in wide-eyed worry. “I’m sorry. He’s my new apprentice and an idiot at that. So, we’re just picking a bounty,” Shimmering explained shooting me a glare.
I saluted and stared at the board filled with possible targets. There was one pegasus pony named Knife Shank who only killed about eight ponies. The reward for him being dead wasn’t as high as I wanted it to be so I scanned for another. It seemed as if the bounties being alive earned more bits but killing them seems much easier and efficient. Shrugging, I grabbed a poster off the wall that said Creeper Trotslaughter was wanted only dead for a couple hundred thousand bits.
“Woah!” Shimmering nabbed the poster out of my hand and began reading the crimes aloud. “Robbery, Assault, Rape, Murder, Murder of royal guard, Arsen?” No! Out of the question! This is way too tough for a first assignment!” He snapped smacking me on the back of the head. “Listen to me proby, pick somepony else. Preferably one who hasn’t raped anypony.” He motioned a hoof back to the board.
“Naw, I got this one! Mr. Creeper Mcrapist will be dead in no time. Just picture it fresh blood of a murdered corpse stinking of rotting disease as it slowly decomposes. Maggots begin infesting and feeding. It’s some pretty deep, emotional stuff.” I reassured him with a beautiful image of death.
“The hell are you talking about? You can’t take this guy down! Pick another bounty.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine!” I moaned as I looked back to the board. Scanning the board, I soon came across a real scumbag. I snatched it with a hoof and handed it to Shimmering. He began to read it aloud.
“Name Foal Freaker.” He began laughing. “Who would name their foal that?” Shimmering cleared his throat and continued. “Crimes: Foalnapping, robbery. Alive is one thousand bits and dead is five hundred bits. Let’s try to keep him alive then.” He rolled the poster up and placed it in his saddlebag.
We began trotting toward the Everfree Forest passing Fluttershy’s cottage. I waved at her as she tended to the animals. She returned it with a bright, beaming smile as she continued to try and force feed a certain pesky rabbit. Soon, the large trees could be seen lining the entrance as the smell of sap and pine hit the air.
“Why are we here again?” I asked breaking the awkward silence.
“The handbill says he usually hangs around the Everfree,” Shimmering answered simply not turning to look at me.
“Cause that’s not creepy.” I giggled at my sarcastic comment.
“He kidnaps foals for Celestia’s sake. Of course he’s creepy.” Shimmering rolled his eyes.
Gesturing me to go inside, I hesitated looking into the forest. I shrugged and began trotting along the dirt-ridden pathway. Shimmering followed closely behind scanning the area. Bushes with all types of flowers lay in between the lengthy trees. Small rays of sun shone in between the swaying leaves.
A loud crack of branches was heard and I was suddenly grabbed. Shimmering lowered himself behind a bush as I was dragged with him. Peering in between the branches, a small foal could be seen talking to the creeper on the poster.
“That’s Applebloom! Wonder who would wanna kidnap her she’s annoying.” I whispered.
“Foalnappers don’t have preferences, Crimson.” The pegasus shook his head.
“Well why not? I’d at least set standards. I could totally kidnap a foal way hotter than Applebloom.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?!” He snapped at me quietly.
“I.. uhh.. well.. ya see.. funny story..” I couldn’t find the words I was searching for. “..I have a uhh.. disorder. It doesn’t have an official name so most call it PPD.” I finished hoping he wouldn’t hate me.
“What’s PPD?” HE asked tilting his head in confusion.
“Pinkie Pie disorder. I kinda have a small tendency to be completely random and even idiotic and it’s out of my control so Twilight calls it PPD.” I explained.
Suddenly, a yell came from the distance. “Help! Ah’m bein’ foalnapped!” It was Applebloom. The creeper was trying to drag her away.
“Now!” Shimmering ordered as he rushed toward the creeper.
“Aye Aye!” I saluted snatching a massive ninja star from out of nowhere. I tossed it forward and it stabbed the creeper in the head. Blood dribbled down as some splattered on Applebloom who was now screeching in terror.The creeper fell to his side as the life left his eyes.
I ran up to the scene. Shimmering stood there staring down at the dead bounty. Applebloom kept screaming in fear. A pool of blood surrounded the dead body as the massive ninja star remained stuck in his head.
“I said alive!” Shimmering screamed slapping me.
“We could still get the bounty.” I said reassuring him with a smile.
“How? He’s dead?”
“You sure?” I raised an eyebrow.
He pointed to the pool of blood. “Yes, I’m sure! There’s a damn ninja star sticking out of the side of his head!”
“Well then we will need a spell, something to contain a zombie in as well as food for a zombie, and lynching rope. Oh and a map of the prison he’s being held in.”
“How will… No! We aren’t resurrecting this guy! I’m scared to see what you can do with magic.” He shook his head.
“I mostly make really pretty light shows.”
“Of course you do.” Shimmering shook his head once more as he lifted the lifeless corpse on his back. “Now, we have to go back to the guard post.”
I glanced at the still screaming Applebloom. “Should I off the kid? She’s seen too much.” I pulled out a machete. “Come here little Applebloom. You want your cutie mark in being a victim?” I said with a sinister smile.
“Crimson? What’s a victim?” Applebloom ceased her yelling and asked cocking a brow.
“It’s uhh.. a.. job where you are only required to die.”
Shimmering slapped me again knocking the machete out of my hoof. “No killing kids!” He yelled and looked to Applebloom. “Go along.” He waved her away and she galloped toward Ponyville.
We set off back toward the guard post. My first bounty was ready to be collected. A rustling in the bushes ceased my thoughts. Two colts leaped out of the bushes holding knives. They were twins who had green manes and red coats.
“You mess with one of us you mess with all of us! Time to die!” They began to close in. I gulped in fear.
Is this it? The end of my bounty hunting career? Already?
