ASDF Story

by Brony_Falcon

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia, Main 6, Princess Luna
Length: 1755

A completely random set of events based off of ASDFMovie. Twilight and friends do crazy shenanigans that have absolutely nothing to do with anything.

Based off of ASDFmovie.

Twilight and friends perform completely pointless shenanigans that make absolutely no sense. Prepare for a crazy story.

Published 2014-01-03 07:20:13 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-09 02:50:08 UTC

Chapter 1

Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle were sitting in the library. Both of them were bored and couldn't think of anything to do. After ten minutes of silence and boredom, an idea came to Rainbow Dash. "Hey Twilight, wanna play a game? It's called 'What I'm Gonna Do.' You up for it?"

Twilight stared at her friend for a moment. "Uh, sure, whatever will help lift the mood in this dull library."

Rainbow Dash then walked to a computer in a corner of the room. "I'm gonna do an internet," she yelled. She then pressed the 'enter' button on the keyboard with her hoof, then the fun began. "WHOAAH!!" Rainbow Dash clung to the desk as a rainbow that came from the screen filled the room and tried to force her back.

Twilight stood there, mouth agape. She couldn't believe her eyes. After the rainbow died down, she yelled, "Well, I'm gonna do a book!" She touched the word 'enter' in one of the Daring Do books. They waited. And waited. And waited some more. "Aww," Twilight said in disappointment.

"Well, that didn't last long. I'm gonna head over to Sugarcube Corner to see what Pinkie's doing," Rainbow Dash said. "Probably planning another party."

"Knock, knock!"

Fluttershy approached the door cautiously. "Who's there?"

*WHACK!* "The Door!"

"I can't throw a party in this condition! It's all your fault!" Pinkie exclaimed. "DIE, POTATO!"

"Noooooo!" Potato exclaimed in his small voice.

*splat*

Pinkie got rid of the potato that would possibly ruin one of her recipes for party food. Then she realized something. "OHMYGOSHIFORGOTABOUTTHECHIPS! ICAN'TTHROWAPARTYWITHOUTCHIPS!! Oh, hi Rainbow Dash!"

Rainbow Dash entered the sweets shop, wondering what in the world Pinkie was flipping out over. "Uhh, hi Pinkie. Whatcha doin'?"

"Just killing potatoes and pulling pranks," Pinkie stated. "Look, Dashie, it says 'gullible' on the ceiling."

Rainbow Dash looked up, and sure enough, the word 'gullible' was printed on the ceiling. "Wow, Pinkie, you're righ-" She stopped herself mid-sentence when she looked at Pinkie. Her facial expression went blank. After a few minutes of silence, Rainbow Dash asked, "Uhh, did you have a long moustache before?"

Pinkie took a deep breath, and said only one word: "Nope."

Dashie kept her blank expression as she walked out of the building.

Pinkie then proceeded to find her ingredients when she spotted another potato. "Not again! DIE, POTATO!"

Potato then pulled out a gun, and spoke in a deep voice. "Not today."

Pinkie gasped. "I ALMOST FORGOT! I need you for the chips! Can you help me, Potato?"

"You killed my best friend, why should I help you?"

"Well, if you're gonna be that way..."

*splat*

Rainbow Dash walked for a few minutes with the same blank look on her face as before. Then she noticed Rarity walking over to Sugarcube Corner. Her facial expression finally changed. "Pfft, screw gravity." She then flapped her wings and took to the sky.

"Ugh, just like Rainbow Dash," Rarity moaned with a hoof on her face.

Derpy stared at her picture for about five minutes, before finally saying "I have no idea how to breathe" to nopony in particular.

Rainbow Dash passed by Derpy on the way to Fluttershy's cottage. She knocked on the door twice. "Knock, knock!" she said.

"Please go away!" Fluttershy exclaimed. "I fell for it the first time, I won't fall for it again!"

"Sheesh, relax, Fluttershy. It's me, Rainbow Dash." She opened the door and invited herself inside. She then noticed a strange animal in the room. "What kind of animal is that?"

Fluttershy turned to see what she meant. "That? It's just a mine turtle. Be careful, though. I don't know what the button does, but I know he's so adorable!"

"Hello!" the mine turtle said.

"Oh, hello mine turtle," Rainbow Dash said. She then pressed the button on the turtle's back.

*BOOM!*

The explosion wasn't huge; it was just enough to knock the two against the wall. "I told you to be careful, Rainbow Dash."

"Oh hey, Scootaloo, I-"

*POW!*

"Ow, what the hay is wrong with you?" Sweetie Belle exclaimed while holding her cheek.

{Level Up!}

"Kitten fight!" Derpy exclaimed.

"No way, dweeb. I'm allergic to adorableness," Gilda exclaimed.

Not heeding her warning, Derpy threw a kitten to Gilda in mid-flight. Gilda caught it, then her wings stopped flapping, her eyes shut involuntarily, and she plummeted toward the ground.

Princess Celestia and Princess Luna stood in their throne room. Outside of the throne room, two guards were guarding the door. One of the guards had a convenient immunity to stab wounds. Sure, he could get stabbed, but he would always be able to heal himself within a few minutes. The other guard was the best in defensive spells.

The stab wound man decided to start a conversation. "Hey, you know who's gay?" The defensive spell man didn't respond. "You." The stab wound man looked down to see a sword in his chest. "Aww, COME ON!" The defensive spell man sheathed his sword, and the stab wound man fell silent.

Derpy checked out a book from the library and headed toward a cloud. She opened the book and let her eyes explore the words on each page. She didn't know that she checked out an educational book, something that was Twilight's area of expertise. After she finished exploring the book, she let out a small chuckle. "I can't read," she said.

A completely white boy with a thick black outline and slightly messy hair is riding a train to Ponyville. "I like trains," he said in a monotone voice. He smiled as the train sped up.

Chapter 2

"Ah'm sorry, Applebloom, but this recipe calls fer apples, not oranges. Get it outta mah farm," Applejack stated.

~meanwhile~

"no, no, no, No, No, No NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!"

"Hey apple! Apple! Hey! Hey, apple!"

"Not listening! Lalalala!"

"Apple, hey! Hey apple!"

"SHUT UP!!!!!"

*ten seconds later*

"Hey apple!"

"WHAT?!!"

"Knife!"

~back to the farm~

Applejack searched through the drawers for a knife to dice her apple. "Ah reckon this'll do." So she started slicing and dicing until the apple was turned into cubes. "Applebloom, ah thought ah told ya to get rid of this orange!"

"Sorry, Applejack!" Applebloom said.

Pinkie Pie finished making a special pie for Scootaloo, and started heading for the CMC clubhouse. "Hey Scootaloo, I baked you a pie!"

Scootaloo rushed out of the clubhouse. "Oh boy, smells delicious! What flavor is it?"

Pinkie then glared at Scootaloo. "Pie flavored."

Then a pie hopped out of the pie and landed on Scootaloo's face.

Princess Luna walked toward her room, and she noticed a strange box with a button on it. When she approached the box, she could read the words inscribed.

POINTLESS BUTTON
warning: pointless

Curiosity got the better of her, and she pushed the button. Little did she know that it did absolutely nothing. It was a completely irrelevant button that was conveniently placed beside her room. She waited. And waited. And waited. Then she shrugged and walked past it into her room to set the sun.

"I am sooo depressed," Chrysalis whined.

{suddenly, pineapples.}

"This does not make me feel better."

-Vinyl in the past-

"Welcome to 'Standing Up School'," Ms. Cheerilee greeted.

Then Vinyl landed face first on the floor.

"Aaaaand you fail."

"You almost ruined my pie last time! DIE, POTATO!"

"Nooooo--"

"I like trains," the white boy with black outlines stated.

Everyone stood silent for a few minutes. "Uhh, was that supposed to be more random than me?" Pinkie asked.

Then a train appeared out of nowhere and hit the 'I like trains' kid.

"Yep, he's close to breaking the eighth wall."

Twilight Sparkle accidentally cast a spell that made the sun, moon, and other planets talk. It was a catastrophic turn of events.

"Hey, guys! Look over here!"

Then everypony looked up.

"Ha! Now you're all blind!"

While it orbited the sun, a planet intervened with the small conversation. "You're fat!"

The sun then smiled, proud to be fat. That only means he can prank more civilians from other planets.

Celestia immediately took notice of this, and reversed the spell.

All the apple trees on Sweet Apple Acres were flattened, torn, and beaten. One boy started toward the farm.

"What in tarnation is all that ruckus?!!" Applejack exclaimed. "WHAT IS THE MEANIN' OF THIS? Y'ALL DESTROYED ALL THE APPLE TREES ON THE ORCHARD!"

The boy replied, "I like trains."

Once again, a train hit him and he was off once more.

Applejack stood there, eyes wide, mouth agape, and on the verge of passing out. "He squashed mah trees. He's more random than Pinkie," she said softly. She then fainted.

"Hey, I thought Pinkie was the only one who could do that stuff," some closet brony said, reading the story. "Hey, Dave! Someone else is trying to break the eighth wall!"

"Chad, only Pinkie can come close to that. You're being ridiculous," Dave stated.

Chad paused for a moment. 'whatever, back to the story...' He shook his head and focused his attention on the computer screen.

Everypony in Ponyville was strolling through town on a beautiful day.

{suddenly, pineapples.}

Everypony stopped for a moment, puzzled at the fact that pineapples appeared out of nowhere.

"EVERYBODY DO THE FLOP!" Vinyl exclaimed.

All the ponies in Ponyville fell on their faces. *flop*

A rainbow-maned pegasus was being attacked by a barrage of muffins. And it hasn't stopped yet. She's been at it for two days straight, and she's still going! "Are you ever gonna run out of muffins?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"No," Derpy replied bluntly. Then she paused for a moment. "Because I work at the muffin factory." Then she continued throwing her muffins.

"Wait, I thought you were a mailmare."

"I work two different jobs. You don't think I can hold them?"

"Heheheh, very good, boy," Discord said. "I have no problem with trains, but this boy makes them much better! HA! Now, I just have to get the rest of them. Oh, this will be a really funny time! Ah, I think we're due for another random appearance of pineapples." And with that, Discord snapped his finger.

{suddenly, pineapples.}

"I imagine that mine turtle is going to explode. I always love pulling these pranks! Twilight's probably second best at pranks, even though she made the sun talk. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now, back to pranking!"