That Which I Hold Dear

When I fall, I fall hard. I wouldn't say I'm the clumsiest pony in town, but I have my moments. At least it wasn't my fault this time. I only groaned a little as I clambered back onto my hooves and lifted my forehoof off of the tangled tail of a picnic blanket. Following it to the pegasus who'd been dragging it in her mouth I found Ditzy Doo resting facedown in the grass with her legs up in the air, not yet recovered from her sudden landing. She fell sideways and rolled onto her rump off to the side of the path, pulling her face out of the dirt and rubbing at her nose with both hooves. “Omigosh, sorry, I'm so sorry!” she babbled through them. The feeling was fleeting, apparently, because when she turned to me half a second later her eye lit up in recognition and a wide smile broke her muzzle open. “Time Turner!” she squeed.

“What happened to you?” She was wearing an eyepatch. That explained why she hadn't seen me when she buzzed across the path like a madpony.

Ditzy just shrugged. “I made a bad call,” she said.

It was probably an embarrassing story, then. Who could've guessed? “Are you going to be okay?”

A giggle shook her wingtips. “Don't worry about it!” She pulled herself to her hooves and staggered closer, still a little disoriented from the crash. “How've you been? I haven't seen you in forever!”

“It's only been two days,” I replied. “We bumped into each other at Sugarcube Corner.”

“That doesn't count,” she countered. “I didn't even get to say hi.”

It was true. Every time we met, she and I exchanged smiles and parted ways with nary a word beyond a simple greeting. “Well, in that case, hello,” I said with a chuckle.

She laughed with me and pulled me into a hug. “Hi!”

Not altogether unwelcome, I must say. We'd still only spoken the one time and it'd been a fairly brief conversation, but she'd left me wondering about her. I figured she was a pony whose friendship would be worth the hassle. The problem was that once I decided that, she pulled another of her disappearing acts and didn't resurface for a week, and when she finally got back either she or I was always busy. Usually she. It seemed she led a surprisingly productive life.

Still, I was the one to pull away first. “So how was your game?” I tried to ask.

Atop my words she started, “I never thanked you for–” She smiled as we both hesitated. “It worked out, thanks to you.”

“I barely did anything,” I said dismissively.

“But what you did was very important. It would have ended in disaster if not for your help!” I shrugged. “So I was thinking maybe you would like to join me for a picnic? If you're not busy?”

My heart swelled with excitement. “That sounds like fun! Where at?”

“I was going to head out to White Tail Woods, but since you can't fly we can stay closer to home.”

“There's always the park,” I offered.

“Or the Everfree Forest!” she suggested, beaming like that wasn't the worst idea ever.

“Or not!” I'd only been living in Ponyville for a two and a half months and even I knew to avoid that place unless I absolutely had to go in.

My look of horror was enough to make her give up on the idea. “Okay, we can stick to the park... But can we at least go to the edge of the forest?”

“It's your picnic,” I shrugged. “But what about your friends?”

She shrugged. "It was just me."

Oh. I tried to keep the pity I felt from my face, and I think I succeeded. "Maybe we should stop and get some more food before we head out, now that I'm coming along.”

“Oh, that's right!” she agreed. “Well, I tend to pack a little extra just in case I need it. I should have enough salad and fruits and fruit salad and hay fries to go around.”

An afternoon in the park with Ditzy Doo... “That sounds perfect.”

,',

Let's skip ahead a bit. Autumn was in full swing, as was a close, if occasionally rocky, friendship. Starting two days after our picnic I saw Ditzy – I managed to stop calling her Miss Doo about halfway through our picnic – for at least a few hours almost every day. It was as if her usual busy routine was thrown out the window just to make time for... for us, really. Now, I've had friends, close ones, but nothing like this before. Nopony that couldn't wait a couple of days to see me. Ditzy? I'm ashamed to admit it, but I had to dodge her a few times. It was a bit much, you know? I've never been a socialite. I need my me-time. I loved spending time with her, I really did, even when she was at her ditsiest. I think I loved not just the time we spent together, but... her. The mare. I loved her already. At the very least I had a crush. A picnic in the park was like a date at the symphony. When we'd go to the cafe (We avoided Star Buck's after Faraday and the other baristas had unofficially banned Ditzy) she had a habit of feeding me some of her hay fries. I had to restrain myself from leaning into her hoof. A special mare, that Ditzy.

But as I'd pointed out, sometimes I have to be alone. Ditzy, on the other hand, had been quite alone for years. She couldn't understand why I enjoyed solitude. Not that I told her, but you'd think she'd have picked up on it. She knew the joy of standing perfectly still with your ears turned into the breeze, smelling the leaves as they rushed by, but she could only enjoy it if I was there with her. Ponies have told me time and again that she looked for me when we were apart for too long. A few of my friends were concerned that she was getting a little too attached a little too quickly. Well, I think they'd do the same if they hadn't had any real friends for as long as Ditzy went without.

So, all tangents aside, it was a surprise when Ditzy came crashing through my front door while I was reading. I was on my hooves, adrenaline turning my blood to fire, before she even finished rolling into the room. The only thing that stopped me from threatening her with a table lamp was that she cried my name as she fell.

Shock melted into rage. “Ditzy!” I barked after I set the improvised weapon down. I'd gotten a bit of melted wax on my carpet, too. “What kind of–”

She sprang onto three hooves, the fourth caught up in the straps of her satchel, and spread her wings wide for balance. “Listen!” she shouted.

I'd never heard her shout before. I stood there for a second just trying to process it. As my brain worked my eyes began to notice what they should've seen as soon as she'd come in. .Her hoof wasn't tangled in her straps; she was carrying her right forehoof off of the ground, and the left side of her face was swollen. She was gasping for breath; judging by her posture it was as much from pain as from fatigue. “Did you do this to yourself?” I had to ask.

“Listen!” she repeated. “The train... departed from Canterlot... two days ago... with six cars. One car never arrived... in Vanhoover. Nopony at any station has seen it. Nopony noticed its disappearance. I need you to help me figure out... where it could have gone.”

“Er...” Trains? What? “How should I know?”

Without pausing as she dragged a cylindrical scroll case from her bag, Ditzy glared at me. “Use your feathering brain!” she snapped.

By the Princess's mane, this was serious.

She snarled at herself as she rolled the parchment out on the floor. “I need you to focus,” she said a little more pleasantly. “Help me hold this flat.” The parchment was a map of all of Equestria's rail lines. A quality one, too; very clear, very good condition, and there were plenty of rail lines on it that I hadn't even heard of before. Where had she come by it? For that matter, why did she need it? Why was she wrapped up in this hunt for... what, a missing train car?

“Look here,” she ordered, tapping her free hoof on the length of tracks extending from the capital to the west coast. “This is the rail line the train took. It left Canterlot with six cars and by the time it reached Vanhoover, the fourth one back was missing. We have to find that car.”

“But how could it have disappeared without anyone noticing?” I asked.

She grimaced. “We don't know for sure.”

“The other cars would have had to stop–”

“I said we don't know!" she interrupted angrily. "We're questioning the conductor and the engineers right now. Last I heard, nopony was admitting to anything.”

I cocked my head and pondered. “Magic?”

“Magic,” she nodded.

“But who's strong enough to do that? The Princess is the only one I can think of, and if she–”

Ditzy lifted a hoof to stop me. “It wasn't Princess Celestia,” she said certainly.

“Then who?”

“Don't worry about it.”

Never would there be another phrase that could make me worry as much as that. “But–”

“Please, Time Turner, this is important!” she insisted. “Just help me figure out where the bucking car went. I need your help, for everypony's sake. Okay?”

Everypony... What was on that car? “O-okay?”

“Okay. Now, look at this line.” Her hooftip traced over the rails once more. “If you were going to hide a railcar somewhere along this line, where would you hide it?”

That was easy. “The gorge,” I answered.

“But isn't that a little too obvious?”

I shook my head. “Yes, but there's nowhere else to hide one. Once you leave the Canterlot region, it's nothing but farmlands from there to the Gorge, and once you pass the gorge you start getting into the Unicorn Mountains. A train car can't be moved in the mountains to reach a hiding place.” I poked the peaks at the nation's northwestern side. “I was thinking it might be in the forest, but something the size of a train car would leave an obvious trail that would have been found by now. That means it has to be Galloping Gorge.”

She nodded. “Come on,” she said, jerking the map out from under my hoof. It tore a little at one corner, but she didn't seem to notice and I didn't care to mention it. “I've got the Princess's chariot waiting outside.”

I nearly bit my tongue. “What?!”

“Just come on!” she whined. She locked her teeth around my pastern and tugged me toward the door.

I let myself be pulled to the front door and outside, stammering all the way. “How in the Princess's name did you get your hooves on her chariot?” Lo and behold, there it was in my front yard, glittering in under the afternoon sunlight. A mare and a stallion, both gray pegasi with blue manes, raised their eyebrows at me in perfect tandem from where they stood hitched to the cart.

With her goal in sight Ditzy finally released my leg. “She gave it to me, duh,” Ditzy replied as she nudged me from behind.

“She what?!”

She roared in exasperation, making me jump again. “Just get in the bucking cart!” She pushed me in front of her and I stepped into the vehicle. It was built to be rather spacious even for an alicorn, so if need be Ditzy and I had room for a couple more ponies before we'd be crowded. I shuffled to the front, not just to get away from her hooves. All I'd wanted was a quiet evening...

“Ready for liftoff?” she asked our drivers.

I felt my tongue go dry in my muzzle. “We're... We're going to fly?” I asked.

“Oh, Time Turner, you are so clever,” Ditzy muttered. “Of course we're flying!” The pegasi bunched up their leg muscles and sprang from the earth, towing us and our little cart behind them.

Sadly, that was the exact moment at which I learned that I am terrified, absolutely terrified, of flying.

“Wait!” I yelped.

“What?!” the mare asked, not bothering to slow her ascent. The stallion followed her lead.

Both of my knuckles were turning white where they gripped the chariot. “What if we fall off?”

“You will not fall,” the stallion assured me. “The chariot is enchanted with a minor gravity spell.”

More magic. Lovely. “But what if we crash?”

“We won't.” The mare shook her head and glanced sideways at her companion. “Look, Atlas and I have been doing this for a long time. You're safe in our hooves.”

“But aren't there supposed to be four of you?”

“You're light,” the mare replied.

“We can carry the two of you ourselves,” added her counterpart.

“But–”

“Time Turner, if you don't stop insulting these pegasi I'm going to throw you out of the chariot myself!”

I couldn't help it. My gaze followed Ditzy's extended hoof the whole way down to the ground. It was the worst idea I ever had. Well, second-worst. “I'm not insulting them!” I shrilled. “I don't want to die!”

Something changed in Ditzy's eyes. They looked softer. She let go of the front of the cart – positively mad, if you ask me – and slid closer to me, close enough that she could wrap her forelegs around me. “We're not going to crash,” she said certainly. “You're safe with me.”

Her kind words in my ear helped a little, but not enough. “Are you sure?” I whimpered. Now that I had somepony warm and soft against me, I could feel myself trembling against her.

She hugged me tight. “I promise we won't fall.” Her voice was strained. I didn't notice until later. Much later.

“Cute,” the blue-maned mare said. I blushed, but I couldn't think of anything snappy to say. All I could think about was the distance between my hooves and the earth.

I swear, I felt like a foal in her hooves. I was clinging to her like she was the only thing holding me to the boards beneath me. “Promise?”

The fur on our cheeks rubbed together as she nodded. She sat and I followed her, resting on one of her legs and leaning into her shoulder to hide from the clouds rushing past.

Forever later I felt the chariot touch down. It was a much smoother landing than even the best of the scenarios I'd imagined. I wanted to leap away from the cart and feel soft, safe soil beneath my hooves, but my legs didn't want to move as directed. Ditzy had to push me to my hooves and hold me while I tried to get my knees to stop shaking. I sagged against her shoulder for a moment – it was surprisingly damp where my face had rested – and opened first one eye, then the other; turns out my body didn't believe that we'd actually made it safely.

“Please don't ever make me fly again,” I chattered as we stumbled off of the chariot.

“I'm sorry, Time Turner,” a pleasant voice apologized from our left. That voice! There's no mistaking it.

Ditzy pressed her shoulder into mine as I straightened and peered over her in surprise. “He's never flown before.”

I was right. A lithe white giant of a pony was only two yards away, and was walking closer. Her mane blew in a breeze not felt by the rest of us, waving its sunrise hues of green and pink and blue. “Princess Celestia?” I breathed.

“Hello, Time Turner,” she smiled. “I am happy to finally meet you.”

“U-um... Likewise.” I wished my legs would stop shaking, but seeing her there only made it worse.

“Thank you for volunteering, Misty Breeze and Atlas,” the Princess told our drivers. “You can head back to camp with the others now.”

Our drivers nodded to her, then to Ditzy. The mare, Misty, looked my way. “Everypony gets nervous their first time,” she said, striking a confident pose with two hooves off of the ground. She cocked an eyebrow and lifted a hoof to her chin. “Well, they don't usually cry the whole time... That'll be our little secret, eh, farmer?” She laughed as I scrubbed at my cheeks with a hoof.

Atlas bumped her with a shoulder. Caught off guard, she stumbled and had to flap her wings to keep her balance. “Be polite, Misty,” he muttered, glancing at Princess Celestia. “He's just an earth pony.”

I looked to Ditzy for support, but her eyes were on the ground between her hooves. Maybe I was a little self-conscious about being the only pony in the vicinity who didn't have wings. Maybe it was just because I was being treated like a foal in front of the ruler of Equestria. Either way, I couldn't let it slide. “I could fly circles around you if I had wings!” I barked. I knew it was a silly thing to say. My cheeks turned red even as the words left my tongue.

Misty looked back with a faint smile, but she too eyed the Princess and decided to hold her tongue. The two pegasi walked a few paces to the southeast, whispering to each other, before they took to their wings and disappeared.

I looked up at Princess Celestia, who had been watching them go. Her expression hadn't changed. Her posture hadn't changed. Somehow, though, she managed to emit a practically tangible aura of disapproval. When she saw me staring at her, though, her smile widened almost insignificantly and the aura popped like a soap bubble. “Don't pay her any mind,” she apologized. “Misty has faced more than her share of hardships over the last few days. She didn't mean what she said.”

I blushed even brighter. “Um, thank you, Princess.”

“Are you feeling well enough to begin?”

“Sure...” I looked past her. “What exactly am I supposed to be doing?”

“Did Ditzy explain the situation to you?”

“Yes, sort of. A train car has gone missing and I have to help find it.”

“Did she tell you why it's important?”

“No.” I heard the tone of anger in my own words.

The Princess, however, simply nodded and turned to Ditzy. “Thank you. Please, come with me, both of you.”

“But what are we doing?”

“Have patience, Time Turner,” the Princess advised as we marched toward the railroad tracks. Ditzy flew to keep pace with the alicorn, but I was left jogging to keep up with those long limbs of hers. “Ditzy has told me about you,” she continued. “She said you helped her with a small math problem a few months ago.”

The golem thing? “That? That was nothing!”

“You showed promise,” the Princess argued. “There are times, such as this, that I need the aid of a pony with similar skills. Sometimes, when faced with a problem as large as this one, the answer cannot be seen except from the perspective of another pony.”

“Is Ditzy one of your problem-solvers?”

“Don't sound so surprised, Time Turner,” Princess Celestia laughed. “Her talents may lie in other fields, but Ditzy is one of my most trusted operatives.”

My jaw dropped. “Did you just call her an operative?” I exclaimed.

“Yes, I did,” she said firmly. “And it was by her request that you were given this opportunity. She considers you a good friend. Perhaps you should think about what your words might mean to her before you say them.”

Ditzy hid her hurting eyes well, but not before I caught a glimpse. “It's not a big deal,” she muttered.

“I'm sorry, Princess,” I replied. “Ditzy, I didn't mean any disrespect.”

“I know,” she sighed. “I'm used to it.”

“But you shouldn't have to be.”

“Now that we've cleared the air, let us get back to the matter at hoof,” the Princess cut in. I was distracted enough that I hadn't seen the track approaching fast. “We are almost ready to begin our search. Remember, though, that the promise you made to Ditzy is a promise made to me. If she feels that we can trust you, then I believe her, but I must remind you of the ripples caused by even a single careless word of our investigation.”

I was looking at Ditzy the whole time the Princess spoke, and the pegasus's face was getting redder and redder. “What promise?” I asked.

“I forgot to make him take the oath,” she squeaked.

Princess Celestia's eyes swept from the poor pegasus to me.

“I know he won't say anything!” the pegasus continued. “He's not that kind of pony.”

Her head was lifted high and her stare had the full weight of the throne behind it. “Can I trust you, Time Turner?” she asked.

Despite the stare and everything, it wasn't that I was intimidated that made me say it. It wasn't me trying to impress the Princess, or Ditzy even. There's only one thing you can say when the Princess of Equestria asks you for a favor, and that's...

“Princess Celestia, you can trust me with anything.”

She smiled again, and so did Ditzy. So did I.

“Then please, Time Turner, don't breathe a word of the events that transpire here to anypony.”

I lifted a hoof to my brow. I don't know if that was the right time for a salute or not, but it seemed like the thing to do at the time. “I promise.”

That was that, I guess, because the Princess just looked at Ditzy and then back at me again. “Tell me what you think of the situation,” she asked.

“It's in the gorge. Yes, it's too obvious to be a good hiding place,” I repeated, “but there's absolutely nowhere else to hide it. Whoever stole the train car had no other choice.”

“That makes them dangerous,” she pointed out. “Are you sure you're willing to take the risk? The thieves are likely in the gorge, and they must be powerful sorcerers if they managed a theft of this caliber. I will do everything I can to keep you and Ditzy safe, but there have been times when even I could not move quickly enough.”

I opened my mouth to brush her worries aside, but... but then again...

They might still be down there.

I nodded. The Princess and her operative exchanged a look, but they led the way.

I tried to say it as we walked over the track and into the forest between us and the gorge. I tried to say yes so many times, but every muscle in my body twitched at the thought. The shadows cast by the trees became ponies in my mind's eye, thieves and wizards and who knows what else. Every twig we broke made my heart leap into my throat. I caught myself trembling, but who was there to hold me?

They might still be down there! Why hadn't I thought of that? And they're spellcasters, too. Bloody magic! The only magic-wielder we had was the Princess, but she had said herself that she wasn't always able to save everypony. How many had she lost?

We broke through the treeline. Warm sunlight caressed my shoulders once more, its touch putting an end to my shivering. I looked at Ditzy Doo, who stared down into the gorge with determination, and at the Princess. She was peering down at me with worry in her eyes. The sun shone through her ever-flowing mane, creating sparkling highlights of pink and teal upon her cheekbone. Looking up at her, I realized something that washed away all doubt.

“Time Turner?”

Princess Celestia needed me.

I set my hooves. “It can't be any worse than flying!”

The Princess nodded her head and together the three of us stepped into Galloping Gorge.

An uneventful hour and a half later we reached the far side, and all we'd seen was dirt, rocks, and more dirt. Not a single track of any kind was to be found. “I'm sure it's here. It has to be!” I muttered, scraping a hoof along the ground in frustration. I only managed to scratch my nail.

“My guards have scoured the land around this line,” the Princess agreed. “The unicorns and earth ponies checked the forest and found nothing.”

“I helped the pegasi search the farmlands and mountains too.” Ditzy rubbed the back of her leg with the opposite hoof. “We didn't see anything.”

“Maybe somepony cast an invisibility spell on it,” I suggested.

“Nopony I know of could render something as large as a railcar invisible.”

“Could you?” I asked.

The princess allowed herself a little satisfied grin. “Levitating it this far would be nearly as difficult,” she continued. “I can't imagine that they would have lifted it much farther than the mouth of the gorge. Either they are very skilled at hiding their tracks or it didn't go very far.”

I looked over my shoulder and sighed. “So we walk the whole way back?”

Yep, and it was about as fun as it sounds. It didn't help that the sun was low enough on the horizon that its light didn't reach the bottom of the gorge. Ditzy and the Princess checked the walls on the way back and I scoured the ground for some mark other than our own hoofprints. The whole time we flew or cantered, respectively, there was only one thought bouncing around in my head: Where were the thieves? Surely they wouldn't have left their prize behind. If they weren't here, maybe they'd already collected their loot, disposed of the car somehow and left.

“What if we're too late?” I asked the Princess when she flew within range.

“We would know,” she replied with a frown.

Well, that was unsettling.

“As long as the skies remain clear, we know that we have a chance,” she clarified. “Keep looking for any sign of the car. We're nearly back where we started.”

What did the skies have to do with it? Maybe I didn't want to know.

A few rocks and a bunch of dirt later, we were back where we'd started. “Nothing!” I growled. “Are you sure your team didn't miss anything?”

“Yes,” Ditzy replied. She sounded as frustrated as I felt.

The Princess just looked at me from the corner of one eye.

“It should have entered right there! But there are no marks.” Nothing but the dents made by our own hooves. “The earth isn't even compressed from impact!” I kicked at the dirt, and it was loose enough for me to dig up a clod that nearly hit the Princess.

“What do you think, Time Turner?”

“I think it had to have been here.” I lifted my eyes from the stubbornly flat earth and gazed over the walls. “I don't know how they hid its trail, but–” I was hit by a bolt of revelation. “Oh!”

“What is it?” Ditzy asked.

It was so brilliant I had to laugh. “It's still here. It has to be! The canyon walls look too flat to be natural, and the ground beneath our hooves is too loosely packed. I think whoever stole the train must have levitated it into the gorge and scraped soil free from the walls to bury it!”

The pegasus's frown turned upside-down. “You could be right,” she said excitedly. “How do we find out?”

“He's right,” the Princess said. She was pointing her horn at the ground, and a faint yellow haze surrounded it. “The car is beneath our hooves, as is the object of our search... and possibly the thieves themselves.” Her tone of wonder made me so proud of myself. “Time Turner, I cannot thank you enough for your aid.”

“Glad to be of service,” I said, and I meant it.

She smiled, but it looked false. She turned away from me for a moment. “Be on your guard,” the Princess ordered the pegasus. Ditzy nodded and set her hooves with a determined glare. Princess Celestia nudged me with a shoulder, and before I'd even gotten over the fact that Princess Celestia herself was touching me with her very own shoulder, the world disappeared.

I'd never been teleported before. If I had it my way, that'd've been the first and last time I ever had to go through it. The air, if you can call it that, reeks with this sharp scent; I like to think that it's what the very first spark of a fresh fire on green wood would smell like, if a pony's nose could process such a thing. Warmth. Pressure from all sides, and lack of pressure. It's... It's not really something you can put into words, but it's unpleasant. Maybe it's just me, but I truly think the only thing that kept me safe was the Princess.

When the air cleared and the world returned, the shock of it all knocked me to the earth. “W-what..?” I stammered, looking to the Princess for comfort.

Her gaze from above was both loving and stern. “Wait for the train,” she ordered. “It will take you to Canterlot.”

I looked around, only then realizing what had been done. I was lying in a potato field. Some distance away I saw a railroad track. It was not where it should have been. We stood between the track and the mountains of the Unicorn Range to the south, and the rainbow falls of Cloudsdale were so close I swore I could almost feel their mist. “Did we... What about Ditzy?” I said, when I managed to find the words.

“Go to the castle. The guards will be suspicious; tell them that you will wait in the second suite and ask for a chocolate-chip muffin and a cold glass of lemon water. Do you understand?”

“Second suite... lemon water...” No. No, she couldn't mean... I jumped to my hooves. “Wait, Princess! I can help you!”

She smiled faintly, but I could see that her mind was focused upon that which awaited her at the gorge. “You already have, Time Turner. Thank you for all that you have done for Ditzy and me. We will see you at the castle.”

“No, Princess!” I screamed, but I screamed at the ether. Where the alicorn had stood was nothing but a quickly-dissipating cloud of burnt oxygen.

Well, I caught the train to Canterlot, as I was told. I waited and watched her glass sweat beads of water onto the saucer, as I was told. By the time they finally arrived it had nearly melted to the point of flowing over and I'd worked myself into a fury. I said some things that make me wonder why the Princess, with all of her power, didn't strike me. I suppose it's because she's a better pony than I am. When I was finished I tossed myself onto a sofa and stared at the intricate embroidery that gave its cushions the look of marble with gold etching, unable to look at either of the mares from mixed feelings of shame and blame and disrespect. I wish I could say that Ditzy's hug made everything better, or that the news of the Princess's victory soothed the beating of my heart, but honestly I didn't find any joy in their kindnesses. I didn't want to feel happy. I'd been pushed aside, again. I'd been used.

Why was everypony running circles around me, leaving me rooted to the spot?

Didn't you trust me?