Creationism of a Sort

Twilight woke to the banging of pots and lots of shouting. Groggily getting out of bed, she cursed her marefriend’s name.

“Rainbow! What are you doing?” she shouted, stumbling towards the stairs.

“SORRY TWI! I JUST FOUND SOMETHING AWESOME! C’MERE!”

Twilight groaned, wondering what could possibly get Dash as excited as she was. A new Daring Do novel, perhaps? One of Pinkie’s new cupcakes? Both? She slowly made her way downstairs, regretting the previous night’s... lateness.

“Rainbow, there’s no need to shout. I can hear you! What is this ‘something awesome’?”

“Oh, it’s just the BEST TV SHOW EVER!”

“Oh. Really?” Twilight asked, being a curious pony. Dash had a new favourite show every week, but she never quite got this excited over them.

“Yeah! It’s called ‘My Friendly Human’, and despite being slightly childish, and probably aimed at young fillies, it’s brilliant!”

“Wow… The girls will love this! Rainbow Dash watches a show for young fillies! I can’t wait to te-”

“NO! DON’T TELL ANYPONY!”

“Why? Are you afraid of being laughed at?” Twilight giggled evilly.

“No… I just want to keep it to myself. Yeah… That’s why…”

“Okay. I won’t tell anypony, but I want to see why you’re so excited about this programme that you were banging pots in the kitchen. Show me it please.”

“Fiiiine. I’ll show you my new favourite TV programme, and you will love it. I kinda… fell over a bit when I saw the end of the first episode. It reminded me of your first time in Ponyville, with Nightmare Moon, but it had a slightly… eh…”

“Altered?”

“Yeah. Altewhatevered version of her. It was great!”

“Okay. That’s not a hard word, Dash. That is interesting though.” Twilight said, and the two walked towards the television. “I was joking about telling the others. I wouldn’t do that to you!”

“Oh… Okay. I knew that! Yeah...”

“Luna! What have you done?”

“Oh! Whatever doth thou mean, Celly?”

“Don’t you ‘Celly’ me! You know what you did! Why did you decide to run a programme for the television based on the lives of my student and her friends? What could posssibl-”

“Now Celestia, I doth knoweth wha- Screw this! I know what I’m doing, and I have a good reason for it! The royal coffers have run low on bits, and using Twilight Sparkle’s adventures as a baseline for a TV show is easier than making something original. It also means that I can alert the ponies of Equestria to the possibility of human life and, in case we ever meet them, show those same ponies that they’re not horrible monsters! I can also make toys for the fans of the show to buy, meaning we can rake even more bits in. I even made a fake company called ‘Hoovesbro’ to disguise the fact that it’s run by me! It can only benefit Equestria!”

“Ah. I, eh, see your point, LuLu. I’m sorry for getting annoyed.”

“Don’t worry, Celly. It’s fine. I only wish I hadn’t designed them with such thin legs. The laws of physics, at least in Equestria, make it impossible for them to move. Their legs would be unable to support their weight. Ah well… Willing suspense of disbelief will do for now. I can cl- Hoovesbro can claim that it’s in a different universe with different physics, meaning all complaints and observations are invalid.”

“Oh Luna…” Celestia sighed.

“I didn’t expect this to be nearly as good as you thought, but THIS IS AMAZING! The humans are CUTE! Like, really, really CUTE!”

“Okay, Twilight! I’m worrying about our relationship here!” Rainbow laughed, watching Twilight freak out. “There’s no need to shout. I can hear you!”

“I know, but it’s well animated, has a brilliant plot, hehe, great voice actors and has cute characters! What’s not to love? This is truly the best TV show EVER! I see what you meant about the similarities between our lives and the show’s plot though. Lunar Nightmare has to have been based off Nightmare Moon, and her personality is identical. At first I was skeptical, it seemingly being a high school drama, but I was blown away when they added monsters!”

“I know! They’re awesome! I didn’t expect the either!”

“My only problem is that their legs are too thin to support their body weight. It’s just a minor thing, but it would be nice if television programmes followed the laws of physics. It actually reminds me a bit of my time in the mirror.”

“But Twi, it’s not in our world. They could have different laws! Pon- people might be allowed walk with thin legs in their world!”

“That’s not what the laws of physics are. They physically can’t walk on those legs because…” She trailed off, looking at Dash. “You’re not listening, are you?”

“Nope!”

“Fine. Willing suspension of disbelief it is. I vow to never question a TV show again.”

“Aha! I knew it wouldn’t matter!”

“What are you talking about, Luna?” grumbled Celestia.

“Both of my predictions have come to pass! Somepony, somewhere questioned the physics of my show, but was disproved by somepony else who said that it doesn’t matter, seeing as it’s not based in our world! The first then conceded and put it down to willing suspension of disbelief! I WAS RIGHT!”

“Luna, nopony cares. Go to sleep; you have work tonight.”

“Oh, yeah… Damn.”

“So… you agree that this is awesome?”

“How could I not? This is brilliant! We need to find out if anypony else likes it.”

“Could we organise a meetup?”

“That’s it! A convention! We need a name for it though…”

“How about… AWESOMECON?"

“Hmmm… I think that’s a bit…”

“Awesome?”

“No. Loud?”

“Yeah… How about… AWESOMECON?"

“I meant the name, not how loud you said it.” Twilight laughed. “Maybe… HumanCON?”

“Nah. Too boring. HUMANCON?"

“Maybe not… How about...”

“Twi! Stop. Let me come up with the name! I can choose a cool, but not loud name for this. Trust me.”

“Bu-”

“No. I can do this! You never let me organise things! Gimme a chance!”

“Okay… I guess you can decide. Just choose something good.”

“Don’t worry. It’ll be awesome!”

“Okay, but it needs to have the word human in it. Nopony will know what it’s about otherwise.”

“Got it! Later Twi!”

“Bye Dash.”

-TWO MONTHS LATER-

“So, care to tell me what you named our convention?”

“Nah. It’s a surprise. I did get these cool fake hands though! Pinkie baked them for me, and I got AB to put stuff in them to make them move! They go on my wings!”

“That is quite smart, actually. What did she do with them?”

“I dunno. Ask her. She was kinda annoyed afterwards though. Something about a cutiemark and hands…”

“Oh… Celestia’s beard! She got a hand cutiemark? That would be funny if it weren’t so… bad. As cutiemarks go, that’s not a great one. At least we can understand ours, mine being a magic star and yours a rainbow lightning bolt, but hers will be awkward to explain.”

“Yeah… I almost feel bad. Almost.”

“Hmmm… I feel the need to get a pair though. Can pinkie do them in lavender?”

“Probably.”

“Hey Twi! Look!”

“What is it, Rainbow?”

“I have hands!”

“Wow… You do remember telling me a few weeks ago, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but I thought you might have forgot, so I told you again!”

“Rainbow, I have a pair. Why did you feel the need to tell me?”

“‘Cause the Con’s tomorrow!”

“WHAT? HOW DID I FORGET THE DATE?"

“Relax Twi! It’s cool!”

“But the checklist!”

“What about it?”

“There isn’t one! I need to get to work! Okay,

Step one - Make Checklist

Step two - Pick Name for-

“TWI! STOP! It’s fine! You just need to relax and let me handle this.”

“BU-”

“Nope. You’re not doing any work on this. It’s my thing.”

“Rainbow! I said you could pick the name, not organise the whole convention! Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“‘Cause it’s fine. I got everything sorted ages ago. It’s done!”

“Oh… but how?”

“Easy. I got our friends to help! All I said was that I needed help setting up a thing, and they helped! They still don’t know what it’s about!”

“Dash! You need to tell them!”

“Why?”

“Because you can’t get help from friends without telling them what they’re helping with! I read it in a book on friendship!”

“Okay. I’ll tell them, but you have to be there.”

“Why?”

“So they know you like the show as well.”

“Dash, they already know I like the show. I told them a week after I started watching it.”

“Oh. Well… fine. I’ll tell them. I can probably make it look cool and it’ll get new viewers. That’s definitely how things work in the real world… Yeah…”

“HA! Dashie watches a show for fillies! That’s priceless!” shouted Pinkie.

“Hay! Watch it before you decide it’s bad! I’m being serious! Watch it!”

“If ya say so, Sugarcube…”

“AJ! At least try it. Please?”

“Okay, Darling. We promise to watch this show of yours. We might even like it!”

“Ah guess…”

“AWESOMEHUMANCON? Really, Dash?”

“It’s not bad, Twi. It’s awesome, has human in the name and it’s a convention! It’s the best name for it!”

“Okay, from now on, I come up with the names.”

“But Twi!”

“No, Dash. It’s not bad, and I can see that you put a lot of thought into it, but it’s not catchy enough.”

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s just not long enough!”

“No. It’s definitely long enough. Anyway, we’re going to enjoy this. I sent a letter to Hoovesbro, asking if they could send a representative for a panel, and they agreed. They’re sending their CEO!”

“Awesome!”

“Yes. It will be awesome…”

“That was great! I’m confused as to why Princess Luna would create a programme for television though. Are the Princesses running low on bits? It doesn’t make sense. I’ll send a letter to Princess Celestia. She’s got to know why!”

“It doesn’t matter, Twilight. It’s a great show!”

“I know, but why did L-”

“Don’t question it! It might go away!”

“Okay. I won’t ask.”

“CELESTIA!” exclaimed Princess Luna.

“What is it, Luna?”

“I have fake hands! They go on my wings, and they move!”

“Wow… amazing…”