Reconstruction

Discord leaned against the mountain he had formed to resemble Fluttershy’s face. “I wonder what kind of pony I should make,” he mused.

The mountain had no reply.

“Shall I create the three separate pony races? Or perhaps bless every pony with both wings and a horn?” He scratched his chin. “What I really need to avoid is the pitfall of the monarchy.” He looked up to the mountain. “Twilight Sparkle gets wings and absolutely nothing else changes, and now she’s a princess all of a sudden!” He shook his head and chuckled. “Some society that is. Your power should depend on whether or not you’re Discord, not how many biological bells and whistles you have.” He ran his eyes down his own motley body, gazing at each distinct part appreciatively. “Of course, being me, I have both the worth of a deity and the most bells and whistles!”

He paced along the ground beside the mountain’s literal face. “Unlike Celestia, I’ll make plans for the long-term. There won’t be any unanticipated cataclysms when I’m at the helm!” He stroked his beard. “I don’t imagine society will go anywhere if I make Earth ponies. Not only would they have no magic; for all intents and purposes, you see, they’d only be able to move in two dimensions! Ponies with no wings can’t move up and down!”

He glanced back up at the mountain and frowned. “Now, I know what you’re thinking; ‘But Discord, you extremely handsome and all-powerful little devil you! Earth ponies do have magic!’”

Had the mountain possessed the necessary biological faculties, it might have felt incredulous at the accusation of having contradicted the mighty Discord and vehemently defended itself. However, as it had no faculties whatsoever, it was all the mountain could do to stand there, unmoving, unfeeling, and unable to change the fact that it was now the first entity in the new universe to contradict its ruler.

Discord folded his arms. “They might have latent magic, but they can’t harness it like unicorns can. Then again,” he deliberated, “I don’t want my ponies to get too confident in their own power, so making a society of ponies with Celestia’s power might not be wise either…”

He brought his claw up to stroke his beard before raising it before his eyes in admiration. “Come to think of it, these might come in handy. Pegasi and Earth ponies have nothing on these.” He resumed his stroking. “Can I even give ponies hands? The little quadrupeds probably won’t get much use out of them…”

After several minutes of thought, he nodded resolutely. “I’m thinking too narrowly. I don’t need ponies; I need subjects! I can give them any kind of anatomy I want.” He glanced to his side, seeing a flock of birds soaring in the distance. “No matter how things work out, they’ll eventually either drive all of these animals to extinction or remove their capacity for independence.” He looked back up at the mountain. “You never believed me when I told you, Flutters, but it can’t be good for ponies to act as nature’s caregivers.”

Inspiration struck, and he laughed. “I know! I’ll make a creature even better than ponies! And I know just how to do it!” With a loud snap, a brand new creature stood before him. It was almost six feet tall and stood on two legs. Its body lacked fur, claws, fangs, or anything of the sort, but it did have hands and an unusually large head. The creature looked about in confusion.

Discord laughed. “There! Now that I’ve--” He leaned in close to the creature, scrutinizing as it fidgeted nervously.

With another snap, the creature ceased to exist. “No, no,” Discord muttered. “Not quite.” He chuckled despite himself. “What was I thinking? That thing had no way to defend itself. It wouldn’t last a day out by itself.” He shook his head. “I’m sticking to ponies. For all their foibles, ponies work. As if a society of big-headed, hairless apes could possibly sustain itself!” He laughed at length at this ridiculous idea.

Wiping a teary eye, he came to his conclusion. “A society of alicorns, less powerful than Twilight Sparkle but more powerful than Mi Amore Cadenza-- the building blocks to a society that Celestia’s won’t even match.” He rubbed his palms together eagerly. “So, who’s going to be the lucky pony, the first pony to exist in the greatest civilization ever?” He covered his eyes with his paw and snapped his talons, focusing his magic on creating an alicorn yet not concentrating on what its appearance would be. Shortly, he uncovered his eyes and looked at his first subject.

Before him stood a small alicorn filly with a coat of pink and a mane of green. Its mint-colored mane sat messily atop its head and ran down the side of its neck just far enough to reach its body. Its eyes shone with a deep emerald green. It had no cutie mark.

The filly’s eyes grew wide and its tiny pink wings flared up. It looked around itself, surveying its surroundings with clear confusion, before finally setting its eyes on the monstrous, grinning creature before it.

“Hello,” Discord said.

The filly said nothing.

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

Silence.

“Can you speak?”

The filly cocked its head and furrowed its eyebrows.

Discord frowned. “Do you understand me?”

The filly hesitated, and then nodded slowly.

“Do you know where you are?”

It shook its head.

Discord began to hover slightly above the ground, gesturing widely with his arms. “I’d like to welcome you, the first citizen of the glorious planet of…” He drew out his last word for dramatic effect. When he opened his mouth to finish, though, he froze. High into the sky, multicolored fireworks exploded nonetheless, the explosions all taking the shape of Discord’s face.

He gently set his feet back on the ground and cupped his chin. “I haven’t actually decided what to call this place.” He looked again to the filly, which was now sitting down looking just as confused as before. He brought his head down to its eye level and coiled over its shoulder.

“Do you have any ideas, young one?”

The filly raised a protective hoof before shaking its head.

Discord stroked his beard and hovered again, keeping his head at the filly’s height. “I suppose I’ll have to come up with something clever, then. And it won’t be a pun. Do you know how many places in Equestria were named after different ways to say ‘pony’? It’d be like me naming this place ‘Draconequopia’!” He paused. “Actually, that’s not too bad…”

The filly stared at her creator, dumbfounded.

Discord shook his head. “Oh, the name of the place doesn’t matter right now. Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life!” He gestured again, his arms inexplicably lengthening and extending high into the sky, noodling their way into coils and circles before finally ending in a pair of outstretched hands.

The filly said nothing.

The air audibly whizzed as Discord quickly retracted his arms. “You’re very quiet; you know that?” he asked his creation, gently tapping her on her horn. “That’s alright. I like the quiet types. They’re always much less irritating than the outspoken ones.” He chuckled. “Oh, if I had a kingdom for every time Twilight launched into one of her interminable ramblings concerning a dire this or a fascinating that or an explanation about how harmful it is for me to turn all of Ponyville’s water into fizzy soda, even though personally I find the carbonation very pleasant to the skin when bathing.”

The filly remained silent. The two stared at each other, she sitting on the ground with her indelible look of confusion, and he hovering gently, his mismatched wings flapping out of tandem.

“Do you have a name?”

The question seemed to shock the filly, whose eyes fell to the ground and moved about rapidly, as if she were searching her newly-formed mind for an answer that surely should have been there. After several minutes, she looked back up at Discord and sadly shook her head.

“Would you like me to name you?”

Her eyes instantly brightened, and for the first time, she smiled. She nodded her head emphatically.

Discord laughed. “So that got a reaction out of you, at least!” He laughed still harder as she looked to the ground and blushed. “No worries, my dear; I’ll soon set you up with a name to be remembered for generations!” He straightened himself and set his feet on the ground, putting a claw to his chin. “Now… what to call you…”

The filly waited, sitting patiently before him, still grinning, her wings occasionally fluttering in anticipation.

Discord snapped before bending down to the filly’s height. “How about ‘Discord Jr.’?”

She seemed unimpressed.

“‘Number zero-zero-zero-zero-one’?”

Her lips quivered, as if she were close to tears.

“Perhaps not the most dignified, that.” He considered further. “How about ‘Eris’? Would you like that?”

She thought for a moment, and then met his gaze, nodding excitedly.

“Excellent!” he cackled.

Suddenly, Eris froze. Her pupils dilated to huge proportions. Discord gently waved his claw in front of her face.

“Eris? Hello? Unnamed-astrological-body to Eris; come in, Eris!”

In her eyes shone a small white spark. She closed her eyes and shook her head, bringing a hoof to her temple.

“Are you alright? I don’t want my first creation to die so suddenly on me.”

Eris brought her hoof to the ground and nodded slowly. Discord scooped her into his hands and stood up again, holding her in front of his face.

“So it appears that receiving a name is quite important for ponies,” he observed, rotating her to get a look at her every angle. “Doesn’t make much sense, that. I didn’t get a name until I conquered Equestria, and even that was less of a name until I took a liking to it.” He patted her on the head roughly and chuckled. “I’ll never understand it, you ponies’ inability to have a sense of identity without labeling yourselves.”

He met Eris’s eyes and grinned. “Want to go have some fun?”

She gasped and smiled back at him, nodding once again.

“Perfect!” He hefted Eris above his head and began running across the landscape at a great speed, taking long, springing strides with his legs. He and Eris exchanged looks and laughed, his gruff cackling masking her quiet, high-pitched giggles. In the middle of one of his strides, however, he froze.

“I think I’m getting a little bit off task,” Discord said, looking up at her. She gave him an inquisitive look. “I need to make a society of ponies,” he explained. “And that requires quite a few more than a single bubblegum-colored filly.”

She shrugged and looked downcast.

“Oh, don’t worry,” he said, his body slowly rotating so that he now stood mid-stride, facing the mountain that had been behind him. “This is going to take a while, but we can have a fun break every once in a while!” His body began to float horizontally back to the mountain, still posed as if he were in the middle of a stride.

Eris cocked her head questioningly.

“I suppose I’ll need to give names to each individual pony,” Discord thought aloud, his white beard blowing. “To start up a self-sustaining population, I think I’ll need at least a few hundred. That might take a while.”

Eris frowned.

Discord gave her midsection a gentle squeeze. “How about this-- we’ll take a break every three days.”

She gasped.

“Oh, that’s right; time seems a little different to mortals. A few thousand years is like a time-out for me,” he said, meeting her gaze. “But I guess a few days is unbearable to you, huh?”

She nodded meekly.

“How about a break every couple hours?”

Eris’s frown remained, but she nodded her head anyway; Discord presumed that compared to a few days, a couple hours, while still unbearable, seemed quite a bit better. He chuckled. “I’m going to need to teach you how to be a better negotiator.”

The two had arrived back at the mountain. Discord summoned a large strandkorb and laid down, setting Eris beside him. “Let’s start the clock.” He snapped, and beside the strandkorb appeared a grey box with a black display on the front and a large button on the top. Red digits, 2:00:00, appeared on the display. “Would you like to do the honors?”

Eris nodded enthusiastically, hopped off her seat, and gave the button a hard whack. The clock began to count down, and her wings buzzed in anticipation as she set herself back down on the seat. She grinned at him.

He grinned back at his new friend. “How about a stallion this time?” Eris nodded. “I just need to make him a little bit older than you…” He snapped.

In front of the lounging duo appeared an alicorn stallion quite a bit older than Discord had anticipated; his brown skin sagged, and a scruffy grey beard, the only mane on his body, adorned his muzzle. Even his horn seemed old, appearing to have been dulled through a course of years he hadn’t lived. His entire body shook with the effort of standing; in mere seconds, his legs collapsed under him and he fell to the ground, hacking and wheezing all the while. Eris covered her mouth with a hoof and looked to Discord, her pleading eyes threatening to leak tears.

Discord grimaced and looked at his hand. “That doesn’t make any sense. That’s the second time now that that’s happened,” he said to Eris.

The filly could have sworn that Discord’s face briefly flashed with fear, but he warded off the emotion with a meager chuckle. “Why don’t we clean this up and start over, eh?” He readied his hand to snap, only for Eris to jump up and grab it in her hooves. She shook her head frantically.

“What?” he asked. “You don’t…” He looked to the struggling stallion. “You don’t want me to erase him?”

Eris nodded.

“He can’t very well be used for a sustained population,” Discord explained. “He doesn’t have much of a use.”

Eris thought for a moment. Her eyes brightened and she opened her mouth as if to speak, but quickly shrank back with a blush. She hopped off the seat and pointed to the clock.

Discord looked back and forth between the clock and the stallion before the epiphany hit him. He leaned forward and mussed Eris’s mane. “You’re quite a smart filly,” he praised.

He looked back to the stallion and snapped. The stallion’s body was engulfed by a golden glow, and his body began to morph. Eris looked on in amazement as the golden shape changed from that of a frail geriatric to a young, virile colt (about the age, Discord figured, of Fluttershy). The golden aura dissipated, and before the pair now stood a young alicorn stallion with a light brown coat and a black mane. He rubbed his head, clearly dazed, before eyeing his surroundings with confusion.

Eris exhaled deeply, relieved.

“Welcome to life,” Discord said with a smirk. “I hope you enjoy your stay.”

The stallion simply nodded. “...Thanks?”

“Oh!” Discord exclaimed. “You spoke!”

“Should I… not have?”

“No no, you’re fine.” He levitated Eris and presented her to the stallion. “This one doesn’t speak to me at all.” Eris blushed and waved timidly.

“So, do you have a name?” Discord asked, setting her down beside him.

“No, I… I don’t think so.”

“Would you like me to name you?”

“S-sure?”

Discord touched his fingertips together. “You’re the first stallion.”

“...Oh.” The stallion looked around him once more, noticing the lack of other ponies. “That’s kind of messed up.”

“There’ll be others.” Discord teleported next to him, wrapping his arm around the stallion’s shoulder. “And there’ll be some mares, too.” He bumped the stallion with his elbow and wiggled his eyebrows seductively.

He noticeably brightened at this.

With a flash, Discord lounged on the strandkorb again. “I think I’ll call you ‘Wiggle Woggle’.”

The stallion blushed. “Wiggle-what?”

“Oh, come on now. It’s a wonderful name!”

“No!”

“When I make more ponies, your friends can call you ‘Wiggly’!”

“I don’t--”

“My decision is made. Your name is Wiggle Woggle. Please stand aside.”

Wiggle Woggle opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it and sulked off. Finding no destination, however, he took his place beside the strandkorb and laid on the ground.

Discord laughed maniacally, choosing to ignore Eris’s pleading look. “Oh, come on, Eris! It’s a perfectly suitable name!”

Her expression hardened to one of indignation. Discord’s laughed petered out until the two sat silently. He sighed. “Alright, fine. Wiggle,” he called, “step forward.”

Wiggle Woggle stood in front of the duo. “Yes?”

“My associate feels my treatment toward you has been dissatisfactory,” Discord said, with an irritated glance at Eris.

“You mean--”

“Yeah, yeah.” Discord blew a raspberry. “You can have a different name.”

The now-unnamed Stallion grinned. “Thank you so much!”

“Please, don’t mention it.”

“I was talking to the filly.”

Discord crossed his arms and grumbled as Eris blushed. “So what do you want to be named?”

The stallion brought a hoof to his chin. “I don’t really know, actually. I don’t know any names.”

“Well, back in Equestria--”

“Where?”

“--the ponies’ names were often just…” He raised a hand and gestured absently. “Just amalgamations of different words.”

“How do you choose the words?”

Discord shrugged. “I don’t really know. But maybe we can choose something fitting. What kind of things do you like to do?”

“I haven’t really… done anything.”

The two said nothing for a time.

Finally, Discord brought his paw to his face in exasperation. “This is going to be harder than I thought…”