My Little Danganronpa: Your Motive is Despair!

by ClickClackTheBrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Alternate Universe, Dark, Comedy
Length: 36974

Sixteen ponies wake up in Hope's Peak Academy, a high school cut off from the rest of world. None of them know how they got there, but the enigmatic Headmaster Monokuma is there to tell them how to escape: get away with murder.

Fourteen ponies, one zebra, and one griffon find themselves trapped in a school where there are no teachers or classes, the headmaster is an animatronic teddy bear named Monokuma, and the only way to get out alive is by murdering one of your classmates. With emotions running high and Monokuma piling on pressure to turn on each other, it's only a matter of time until a body turns up, and when it does, Monokuma forces the surviving students to discover the culprit or be executed as well!

This fic is based on the Danganronpa mystery games. It requires no knowledge of Danganronpa, nor does it contain spoilers. The famous Let's Play of the original game can be read here and the official English version is currently available on the PS Vita. All characters are aged up or down to the 16-18 range. OCs are included for the sake of diversifying the cast and will receive no preferential treatment.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-09 23:47:39 UTC

Alma Mater

"Ooh, this room looks fun!" Yoyo said, tossing the doors open and bouncing in. Derpy and True Heart were following behind her.

"You've said that about three ordinary classrooms and a broom closet so far," True Heart said, though when he actually got inside he privately conceded that she might have been right about this one. The room was smaller than most of the classrooms, but filled to the brim with all kinds of knick knacks and decorations piled up on shelves. From toys to posters to full sized suits of armor, the place had almost anything a pony could think of. At the center of it all was a counter with a capsule vending machine on it. "Wait, what kind of room is this? It's nothing like I'd expect in a school."

"That's because this is no normal school," said the voice that the group had learned to hate even after only a single meeting. The ponies turned around to see Monokuma sitting on Derpy's back as she walked in.

When she saw Monokuma, Derpy shrieked and reflexively tried to buck him off, but he kept on surprisingly well, eventually quieting her down with a smack upside the head. "Quit it, you bastard, I'm about to provide important exposition!" Once she stopped, he continued. "Thank you. This room is the school shop. Since you will be living here for the rest of your lives, I figured you'll probably want to decorate your rooms and stuff. Therefore, I have invented this," he gestured to the vending machine, "The Monomono Machine! Inside each capsule is a piece of paper showing what you've won. As for money, the Monomono Machine only takes these." He reached into who-knows-where and pulled out a small bronze coin with a picture of his face on it. "This is a Monocoin. I've scattered them about the school in drawers and under tables and stuff for you to find, plus I give them out as rewards on occasion." He turned and offered the coin to Derpy. "Here, Cross-Eyes, since you made such a comfy chair, you get your first try free."

Derpy took the coin, though from the look on her face she didn't exactly like the new nickname Monokuma had come up with. She put the coin in and twisted the knob on the front, causing a little capsule to pop out. Inside was a small piece of paper bearing a picture of a star chart.

"Ooh, that's a good one," said Monokuma. "Now just look for the star chart in here, and you can take it to your room. There's a special enchantment here that prevents items from being taken by anypony other than the one who won it, by the way, so none of you better get any ideas about stealing!"

"Okay, but what if I don't want a star chart?" asked Derpy.

"Well... tough shit I guess. Maybe you could trade it to somepony, or give it as a gift? Honestly, I don't care about you all enough to really put much thought into making sure you get what you want."

"At least he's honest..." True Heart muttered.

"That sounds like so much fun!" Yoyo squealed. "It's just like collecting trading cards, except you can win stuff that's more than glorified paper!"

"I'll take the star chart if you don't want it, Ditzy. We'll just say I owe you one," True Heart said. "I'm kind of a night person, and I've always thought the stars were pretty cool."

"Alright," she nodded. "If you could get me some muffins, that'd be great. That's it on the top shelf up there, right? Let me just get it..."

As she grabbed it, however, she accidentally bumped into a VHS tape, which tipped over a framed and signed portrait of Sapphire Shores, which fell into a Cloptimus Prime action figure, which hit a Neightendo Wii, which then somewhat fittingly knocked over a replica of the Goddess's Harp from Legend of Zelda, which collided with a giant novelty domino, which fell off the shelf and hit a suit of armor, causing it to drop its sword, which fell directly onto Monokuma, slicing off a good chunk of his head. Fluff and sparks began flying out of the wound, and he collapsed.

"Oh my... I... I just killed him! Why does this keep happening to me?" Derpy cried.

"What do you mean it 'keeps happening?'" asked True Heart.

"Wait," said Yoyo, "He was the bad guy, right? So was that a good thing?"

Just then Monokuma's red M eye began to pulse, and a strange beeping began to emanate from his body, gradually getting faster and faster.

"Oh crap, that can't be good!" True Heart yelled.

Derpy was the first to react, grabbing the body and chucking it out the door. No sooner did she get it closed again than an explosion was heard from the outside.

"He was a bomb! I can't believe he was a freaking bomb!" she yelled.

"Wait, what if somepony was out there? Open the door again!" True Heart said.

She did so, revealing soot and shrapnel everywhere, but thankfully nopony caught in the blast.

Yoyo bounced with joy. "Yay! Nopony died! It would suck if I lost somepony before I got to have any real fun with them!

"Yeah, it would be awful if the first murder was committed by accident!" cried Monokuma. "Plus with two witnesses, Cross-Eyes would be in direct violation of rule 7!"

Everypony's jaws hit the floor.

"You just died!" True Heart yelled.

"Oh, that? Nah, my bodies are all artificial, the perfect marriage of magic and technology! If one breaks, another pops right up in its place." Two more Monokumas emerged from behind the shop's counter, and all three spoke at once. "I could die a thousand times and never be killed. I have literally nothing to worry about!" Each of the two new Monokumas demonstrated this by pulling out machine guns and shooting each other to pieces. Thankfully, these two didn't explode. "Keep in mind, however, that that doesn't give you license to destroy them willy nilly," continued the remaining one. "Attacking any of my bodies is still a violation of rule 5. These things cost hundreds of millions of bits apiece you know!"

"But you just destroyed two of them to prove a point that had already been made," said True Heart.

"Oh, don't you worry about that! If I get low on cash I'll just raise tuition to compensate!"

"But we never paid any tuition! And earlier you said this place had an unlimited budget!"

"Just shut up and accept my statements without question like a good student already, you bastard! Anyway, that's all I have to say for now. Oh, and FYI, I figured not all of you would have the best of luck with the Monomono Machine, so if you go to your dormitories you'll each find a unique gift on your beds. I picked them out special." With a last chuckle, he disappeared.

*** *** ***

Sunset screamed in frustration, firing bolts of lightning at the vaultlike door where the entrance to the school should have been. Her lockpick spell had failed miserably, even when she was sure she'd done it perfectly. She'd even tested it on a few other doors with some success, but found that the rooms in the dormitory were somehow enchanted against picking. She hadn't quite remastered being a pony again, and many of the bolts flew wildly off target or fizzled out mid-spell.

"Damn it..." she muttered.  "First that Monokuma drags me all the way back to Equestria somehow, then my magic won't work right, and now there's no way to open this stupid door!" She bucked a nearby wall and laid down, finally too tired to fight off the day's frustration. For the first time since she settled into the human world, she was genuinely at a loss for what to do next. She needed some time to cool off and get her thoughts together. "Alright, Sunset, you can handle this... You just need to adapt, like before... maybe get a couple of willing cronies. Once you get some followers, that'll give you power, and when you have power, you can protect yourself from murderers and even possibly commit one easier, though you'd better save that for a last resort. All you need to do is find another couple ponies as easy to control as Snips and Snails were in the human world. Those morons would do anything for a pretty face."

"Did someone say 'human?'” Lyra asked, suddenly at her left. Sunset hadn't seen her come in.

"Did someone say 'pretty face'?" Frostbite said, at Sunset's right.

Sunset stood up and yelped. "H-how much did you hear?"

"I came in at 'last resort,' but didn't catch the first part of that sentence," said Lyra.

"I followed you in from the beginning, but I was too distracted  and didn't hear anything," answered Frostbite. "You have an amazing plot by the way, hence the distraction."

An instant later, a bolt of lightning coursed through him from Sunset's horn. It was a bit more intense than she intended, but those are the risks of shooting lightening when one is out of practice.

"Hey! I only deserved like half of that..." Frostbite objected before falling on his side, twitching.

Lyra looked at him with a mixture of sympathy and disdain, then wrapped a foreleg around Sunset and led her a little ways away. "So, anyway, I think I was putting my wrong hoof forward with you earlier... you mentioned a world full of humans?"

"Oh! Yeah, that's quite an interesting story," Sunset said. "And I'll be happy to tell you all about it... if you're willing to do a few things for me."

"Anything!"

"I can do a few things for ya too," offered Frostbite. "If ya get my drift."

"Take a hint!" Sunset sent a hoof into his nose. However, a second too late for Frostbite, she had another idea. "Actually... I wouldn't mind having you as a helper too." She picked him up with her levitation and set him next to Lyra so she could speak to both at once. "Listen, I've been thinking about our situation here. Monokuma seriously wants us to kill each other, and I don't think anyone wants that to happen. However, there are a lot of ponies here, and a lot of opportunities for someone to crack. As I see it, the best way to deal with this is to have someone in control, a leader, a... well, a class president, if we wanna continue Monokuma's  high-school theme. Personally, I think I would be the best candidate for that, as I do have a certain amount of experience. If the two of you will do whatever I ask to make that happen, not only will everyone be a lot safer, but you, Lyra, will get to hear about everything I learned in the human world, and you, Frostbite, will be allowed to work under the delusion that helping me will slightly boost your chances of getting some."

"Yes Ma'am!" Lyra said, standing straight up on her hind legs and saluting.

"This may be the fried brain talking, but that sounds good to me!" agreed Frostbite, slurring his speech a little.

"Alright! Now listen up, I'm going to tell you exactly how this is gonna work..."

*** *** ***

"So, seeing as you're the strongest pony I've ever seen, I was wondering: is it actually possible for somepony to use a sword as big as their own body, like in Pony Fantasy 7, or is that just a video game thing?" Button asked Bulk Biceps.

"YEAH! ... To the second part," clarified the bodybuilder as he twisted at one of the bolts attaching the metal plates to the windows.

"Oh..." Button looked like he'd just found out Santa wasn't real. "Are you really sure?"

"YEAH! ... I mean, the weight's one thing, the problem's with the leverage," he added, mentally blaming leverage for his inability to loosen the bolt as well. Bulk didn't have a lot going for him in the brains department, but most of what he did know all revolved around strength and how to apply it.

Button was more concerned about video game realism, it seemed. "I guess Monokuma already got to you. You just murdered my childhood. Well, I think that's all the windows in this room anyway. Next one I guess..."

Meanwhile, just outside, two other students were making their rounds. "This hallway... it's all normal classrooms, right?" Snowdrop asked Soarin, who was trotting beside her. The two of them had been taking a less thorough approach to exploring the school than some of the other students. Rather than figuring everything out and looking for escape routes, Soarin was helping Snowdrop memorize her way around. The only place they didn't go in were the occasional rooms they found locked, and the upper floors, the staircase to which was blocked off by a metal gate. Even though they passed over some rooms, like the Store, without realizing their significance, they were able to go through the whole school several times, cementing the routes and locations of each room in Snowdrop's memory. Fortunately, like most schools, this one had Braille signs near most of the doors. By now, Snowdrop felt she was ready to navigate on her own, and Soarin turned out to be really surprised by her capabilities. She'd only erred once or twice, and that was early on.

"It's like you've got 20/20 vision, girl!" Soarin said.

"Thank you. Really though, you don't need to feel sorry for me about anything, or worry about me. You'd be surprised at what I can still do without vision. Even my assistant Helping Hoof doesn't need to do much for me. She's mostly there to take care of the house and my brother while I'm busy sculpti- Ow!" As she was talking, Button and Bulk left their classroom, opening the door right into her face, knocking her onto her haunches.

"Oh crap! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Button said as he and Soarin rushed to help her up.

"It's alright. I was just being careless," she said. "I was just walking much too close to the wall, it's not your fault."

"Er, alright. You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, it was just a little bump," she said, smiling. In truth, the door wasn't nearly as bad as the looks of pity that she just knew they were all giving her. "Anyway, what were you two doing in there? This hallway has nothing but classrooms, right?" she said, changing the subject.

"Oh, me and Bulk here were trying to get those metal plates off the windows... well, mostly Bulk, since he's the strongest, but I'm keeping him company. It's a boring job without somepony there, and he's been at it for a couple of hours."

"YEAH!" said Bulk. "So far they're all on pretty tight though. Can't loosen any of the bolts with just my hooves."

"Oh, that's too bad..." said Snowdrop. “But you should probably try a different route. After all, you said the plates were bolted on, right? In order to remove any of the plates, all of the bolts would have to come off. Even if you got one bolt, all of the others on that window would have to be loose too, or it wouldn't matter."

If Snowdrop could have seen the look on their faces, she probably would have regretted telling them that. "W-we wasted two hours on a one in a million shot?" Button muttered.

"Well, who knows, maybe it would have worked," Soarin suggested, trying to soften the blow just a little bit.

"Definitely worth a shot," said Snowdrop, nodding. Now was her turn to pity someone, though she tried to hide it.

"Uh... YEAH!" said Bulk. "But still, I think now might be a good time for a break, right Button Mash?"

"Yeah, that sounds perfect," he said. "But since you're here, Snowdrop, I do have one question: Does being blind really give you super senses, or is that only in comic books?"

She rolled her eyes. She'd heard it all before. "Sort of. Mostly I just pay attention to my surroundings more, so my hearing sense of touch are more acute. It doesn't get anywhere near the levels you see in fiction."

Button squeaked and cringed like he'd woken up to see his mom swapping a lost tooth for a quarter. The four of them continued to talk for a while, during which time they moved on to other topics, ones which had no risk of making Button cry.

*** *** ***

"Sweet, they got a soft serve machine!" Vinyl said before dispensing the treat directly into her mouth. She, Octavia, Click Clack, and Rook had managed to find the cafeteria.

"Vinyl, stop that. You're getting your mane on the machine," said Octavia, but the way she smiled and laughed made it clear that she didn't mind her antics all too much.

Rook sighed. "What does it matter? A little stray hair never killed anybody. Such things are better left to our fellow students, it seems."

Octavia placed a hoof on his shoulder. "Rook, don't talk like that. Nopony here is mad enough to do such a thing. It's only a matter of waiting in this gilded cage until we can escape."

"And boy is it gilded! Just look at this pantry!" Vinyl said, digging through it. "They have Coke and Pepsi!" She drank some of the latter warm and straight from the bottle. "Carrying different brands of the same product shows just how much they care about our individual tastes."

"See Rook? The worst the other captives are going to do is not use a glass. I'm sure we'll all get along just fine."

He sighed. "If you say so. Though, to be honest, I get the feeling that you're jinxing yourself, saying that. You might end up first..."

"From what I've read in TVTropes, noticed through extensive reading and movie-watching, the first ones to die in fiction tend to be the black guys, actually. So by that logic the first would be you or Zihiri, depending on how one interprets black in the ponyverse. Plus with the way you've gone on about how death is inevitable, you might be the one jinxing yourself," Click added.

"No, my pessimism will cause me to somehow survive the whole ordeal, albeit with severe PTSD, giving me even more severe depression than I have now. That's how irony works." Click knew due to creating the character had a hunch that that was Rook's warped way of hoping to survive.

"Come on you two! Ironic twists don't happen in real life! What do you think this is, some cheap amateur fanfiction?" said Octavia.

"Yeah, if that were the case, Octi and I would be back in one of our rooms, making sweet, lovely music together," added Vinyl. "Wait... Come to think of it, that actually sounds like a good idea! Er... In the literal sense, I mean: checking out our rooms and maybe doing some songs later. Come on, let's go!"

"What? But what about investigating the school?"

"We're still doing that, just focusing more closely on our rooms," she bounded to the door, practically dragging Octavia behind her. "Click, Rook, ya coming?" she called back.

"I suppose so I might as well see where I'll be doing most of my brooding for the duration of my stay," Rook said, following slowly.

Click seemed a bit stunned at first. "... Amateur?" he said with teary eyes. Whatever it was though, he got over it and followed them.

They soon arrived at the dormitories, where they saw Featherweight ringing the doorbell to one of the doors, which bore a nameplate for 'Zihiri,' as well as a pixel art portrait of her. "Come on! You can't just lock yourself in there forever! What are you hiding? You can't keep secrets from the Ultimate Investigative Reporter! The truth will be revealed!!"

Octavia approached him and pulled him away. "Featherweight, let her be. If she doesn't want to talk, she doesn't have to. This is a very stressful environment and making it worse on her won't help anypony."

"But it's so suspicious!" He pulled at his mane. "What if she's in there chatting it up with Monokuma, or Discord, or Nightmare Moon?"

"Featherweight, Princess Luna turned good again."

"Yeah, that's the official story."

Octavia rolled her eyes. "Well, all that aside, clearly Zihiri's not answering her door. Poor thing's probably terrified... Come on, it would be much better to check out our own rooms."

Yoyo appeared seemingly out of howhere behind them. True Heart and Derpy were following behind her, though at a much more relaxed pace. "Oh, did you guys come to see that too?" Yoyo asked Octavia. "Monokuma said he put some cool, fun stuff in our rooms for us! I hope mine has a disco ball, or a party ball, or a yoga ball, or a party-disco-yoga ball that can be all three at once! Oh my gosh I can't wait to see!" She zipped away to her room as soon as she appeared.

"Wait... Why a yoga ball?" Octavia pondered.

"Yoga balls are fun," said Vinyl as she passed by on the way to her own room. "At least if you use them for anything but yoga."

Octavia just shrugged and went to investigate her room. Featherweight looked uncomfortable leaving Zihiri's supposed evil machinations unchecked, but eventually followed Octavia's example, conceding that there was nothing he could do about it now.

Each room was identical in layout, with a table, a chair, a bed, a nightstand, a wardrobe, and a personal bathroom with little more than a toilet, sink, and shower. Each wardrobe contained a few sets of clothes, mainly school uniforms but there were a few more unique garments for the ponies to change their styles a bit. The most significant thing in each room though were the little presents left on the foot of each bed: individualized gifts for each pony, with little red bows placed on each.

"Yahoo!" Yoyo squealed as she ran out of her room. I got a Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Pony set!" She bounded out of the room, holding a fake tail.

"He gave me a laptop," said Click Clack. "But I think it's only got a word processor on it. Funny thing is it's really heavy for something with such minor software."

Rook stepped out of his room, looking disappointed. "He gave me a bunch of razor blades. Ha. Ha."

Octavia came out, holding the bow to a cello and looking rather irritated. "I think I can see why we all got what we did." She took the bow and jammed it into one of the walls: the end of it had been sharpened to the point that it penetrated easily. "These things are thinly disguised murder weapons."

Her theory ended up proving true for all of Monokuma's gifts: Yoyo's pins were far longer and sharper than were necessary for her game, but just right for stabbing; Click Clack's laptop as well as Vinyl's and True Heart's gifts (a portable synthesizer and a telescope, respectively) were all given hard, sharp edges and meant to be swung at ponies; Derpy's weapon was a miniature oven, the kind meant as a toy for fillies, but it was so full of sharp metal parts that it may as well have been a knife set; the application of Rook's razors was obvious; lastly, Featherweight had for some odd reason received a sharpened screwdriver. Obviously the other ponies had probably all received things in the same vein.

"So, what do we do with this stuff then?" asked Derpy. "Get rid of it?"

"I don't think we need to do that," said Click. "After all, would you throw away all of you kitchen knives on the off chance that they might be used for murder? This stuff is still useful for their normal purposes too. Besides, all the precautions in the world won't change the genre of this fic  stop a determined murderer. What's really important is that we all trust each other and peacefully wait for a rescue."

"I agree," said Octavia. "Anyway, we should be heading back now. It's almost eleven."

"What about Zihiri?" asked Rook. "She wasn't there to hear you tell us when to regroup. She is alone, isolated from the simple social interactions that we all so callously take for granted. Even now, she gradually falls into despair until a murderous escape becomes the only solution she can see..."

"There's not much we can do about her now. Let's just wait until we get a chance to speak to her again and make sure she feels welcome."

With that, she led the group back to the gym. The only one apart from the group was Featherweight, who lagged behind a bit, smiling thoughtfully as he looked over his screwdriver...

*** *** ***

Once 11:00 arrived, everypony aside from Zihiri reunited in the auditorium to review what they'd found.

Sunset, eagerly taking the initiative, started the conversation. "I combed over every possible escape. There was a big vault door where I would expect the exit, but there's no way to open it, and it was immune to lockpicking magic. Everything else was a dead end. However, I did find out that the dormitory rooms can't be picked either, so we can at least feel safe in there."

"Me and Bulk Biceps tried to find a way out too... kinda," said Button. "We tried getting the plates off the windows. It didn't pan out."

"But in order for that to work, all of the bolts would have to be-"

"We know that now!" Button said, nipping that line of thought in the bud.

"Snowdrop and I focused more on mapping the place out. It's exactly what you'd expect in a school, lots of classrooms and bathrooms in every hallway. A few of the rooms were locked, like the storage room, the nurse's office, and these strange red double doors. There was also staircase that was blocked off with a metal gate. Did you see that too?" Soarin asked Sunset.

"Yes. Again, couldn't pick the lock on any of those, or even teleport past them."

"I suppose whoever's controlling Monokuma must be in one of those places..." mused True Heart.

"Wait, 'controlling Monokuma?'" Octavia asked.

"Oh! Yeah, we forgot to tell you. Yoyo, Ditzy, and I met Monokuma again. Ditzy accidentally destroyed him, but it turned out that his body was basically a glorified toy. A new Monokuma jumped right out to take his place. Somepony is controlling him from behind the scenes, and whoever they are, they have some serious magical ability, not to mention they're obviously rich if they can afford this place and all those Monokumas."

Featherweight stomped a hoof "I knew it! Magic, money, this has the Templars written all over it!"

"Um... I think you've been playing too much Assassin's Creed. That means a lot coming from me," said Button Mash.

"That game was made to inspire just that kind of thought. 'It's just a game, it isn't real.' But just replace 'Abstercolt' with 'Canterlot Medical Inc.' and you start to notice a lot of strange coincidences."

"Uh, moving on," said True Heart. "We also found a few other things. Namely, there's a machine here that gives you things if you put these little Monocoins into it. Some of the prizes looked kinda cool, but they're given randomly and a lot of them are the kind of thing that only have niche appeal."

"And we got stuff in our rooms," interrupted Yoyo. "They're a little better because they're meant specifically for us. The thing is they were all meant to be usable as murder weapons."

"I see... Well we have to get rid of them then," said Sunset.

"I don't think so," said Octavia. "Mine was a cello that had the bow sharpened. I can just file that down, and most of the other stuff is only dangerous if you really try. Like Click said earlier, you may as well destroy all the kitchen knives."

The two mares locked eyes for a moment. Octavia did her best to smile and look friendly, but Sunset had marked her rival, and nothing could change that. Already she was thinking of ways to top what she did to Rarity at the last Fall Formal.

Click Clack sensed her emotion and got between them. "So anyway, the only other thing to talk about is the cafeteria. Basically it's just like any school cafeteria, except we have to make the food ourselves. Fortunately they have everything we could ever need there, so no worries about variety."

"Yeah. Incidentally, if we ever meet up again, let's do it there," said Vinyl. "They have chairs, and more importantly, ice cream."

"Alright, but there's a few things I think we might as well discuss now, while we're here," interrupted Lyra, eager to put Sunset's plan into action.

Frostbite perked up. What he wanted to say wasn't related to Sunset, but he felt he might as well test the water for his own adjenda.  "Like a breeding program? Because we really do need a backup plan in case we really are trapped forever, and-"

Lyra offhoofedly punched him in the face. "I'm talking about leadership. I think we need to elect somepony to be in charge. Monokuma is trying to coerce us into killing each other after all, so I think we need somepony we can all rally around and who can keep us organized. They could probably lay down some ground rules too, maybe in regards to sexually suggestive language," she gestured toward Frostbite. Sunset hadn't told her to add that part, but Lyra figured a bit of improvisation wouldn't hurt. From the approving look her new boss was giving her, it seemed Lyra had figured right.

Before anypony could respond, Monokuma crashed the party yet again. "An excellent suggestion! Clearly what you kids need is a Class President! And yes, I was listening in on everything you were saying!" He gave a subtle sideways glace at Sunset and Lyra. "A Class President... what a unique twist! Just think of the possibilities! You have my wholehearted support!"

Featherweight yelled back up at Monokuma, "Well, now that you're in favor, I for one think it sounds a lot less appealing."

"Well, too bad!" Monokuma roared. "Because I happen to like this new idea! In fact, I'm adding a new rule!"

9. A Class President must be elected for this class by the end of the third day of school, and all students must vote. The Class President will have the ability to create rules and set punishments for breaking those rules. The Headmaster will assist in dealing punishments, however it is the President's responsibility to investigate whether or not their rules were broken at all. Also, the President may not make any rule or punishment which will directly result in the death of another student.

"There! Now hurry up and nominate a couple of ponies so I can subject you all to the despair inducing experience of politics." He seemed to be relishing the idea.

"So... I guess my suggestion is getting a little more traction than I expected..." said Lyra.

Rook sighed. "Such irony. An attempt to pave a road to peace and safety twisted by a devil's whim into a path of assured disaster."

Soarin just shrugged. "Hey, he's only forcing us to elect a leader, it's not like he's forcing us to elect a bad one, even if he wants us to."

"You say that now, but you forget about the lack of limits Monokuma gave. To bear the weight of unlimited power is to set your very soul on the precipice. The greatest of saints cannot avoid having their hearts defiled by the acquisition of power. What hope do us common wretches have? We cannot hope for a good leader, but merely a lenient tyrant."

Now Frostbite took his turn to help Sunset. "Aw, don't be so melodramatic. We'll just elect somepony who doesn't want all that power! And the best way to do that is to pick them at random." He pointed to Button Mash, then started counting around the room clockwise. "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Catch a griffon by the toe..." He went around the whole room until he finally stopped on Sunset Shimmer. "Her. She'll do just fine." He mentally chuckled over his trick. Figuring who to start with to make sure he ended on Sunset was easy, especially for someone with a head for math like his.

"Me? Well, I guess I could. I do have a little bit of experience from back at my old school," Sunset said, putting on the perfect mask.

"Actually," Vinyl interrupted. "I think the best way to do it would be to pick somepony we know we can trust. The only two ponies here who knew each other really well before today are me and Octavia, and I can say that Octavia is one of the best friends I've had. I'd trust her with anything. Besides, if we're looking for somepony who doesn't want power, shouldn't we remember that she was asking us to all follow her earlier?"

"Oh, well, that was just me trying to be protective. I was part of the Student Safety Team back at my old school, plus I worked as a counselor's assistant at summer camp last year," Sunset lied. She didn't even know what a 'Student Safety Team' would actually do, assuming one really existed somewhere.

"You know, I think it would be better to choose somepony based on what they planned to do more than anything else," suggested Button.

"A very good point," agreed Frostbite. "Sunset, if you were elected president, what would you do? Aside from look gorgeous, that is."

She gave a faux-modest look. "Well, just a few basic things. I'd probably make sure everyone knows where everyone else is, so no one can go off and secretly commit murder, and we'll keep a closer eye on all the weapons. You know, common sense stuff."

"I don't know if that's necessary," said Octavia. "We're all sensible ponies, and giving up privacy and access to potentially useful tools isn't going to help us at all. Whoever the President is probably shouldn't use their power except in an emergency. I think Monokuma is just trying to make us stress ourselves out with an extra source of rules."

Vinyl thrust a hoof into the air. "Yeah! No rules, no regulations! That's not what I expected from you, Octi, but I like the way it sounds! Now I can vote for you for more reasons than just friendship!"

"Wha- uh... I never said I was going to run myself..." Octavia protested, but Vinyl wouldn't have any of it.

"Come on, Octi, you know you'd be great."

"But I..."

"Come on," she said, politely but annoyingly.

"Bu-"

"Come oooooonnnn!"

"Okay, fine," she said. She'd learned years ago that Vinyl could keep that up for hours. "If I can lead my band, I can lead us, I suppose," Octavia said, sounding a bit more confidant then even she expected of herself.

Sunset's eye twitched ever so slightly before returning to her sweet, sincere look. "But how do we know the others are as sensible as you think they are? We need to be as sure as possible if our lives are at stake."

The rest of the ponies began murmuring between themselves. It was a freedom/security conflict straight out of a philosophy textbook.

"Well, I think it's safe to say we have our candidates!" declared Monokuma. "Then it's settled. In three days, one of these young mares will be your class president! Choose carefully now! In the meantime, I need to start working on something for the election. Bye-bye!" With that, he vanished again.

"Ugh, I don't think I've ever hated someone this much... "Octavia shuddered.

"Hmph. That's one thing we agree on at least," said Sunset.

Before anyone else could comment on the situation, a loud gurgling noise echoed throughout the room. Everyone instinctively turned to the source, a certain Wonderbolt, who placed his hoof over his stomach, embarrassed. "I haven't eaten all day," he admitted.

"Oh yeah, me neither. I guess we have three days to think about electing somepony. Didn't somepony mention a cafeteria?" asked Button Mash.

"Oh yeah! I'm kinda thirsty too, hey, Vinyl, did you say they had Coke or Pepsi back there? I forgot and I'm too lazy to scroll back up to see what I wrote about that." Click asked.

"Both, but that's just the big two. They had Mountain Dew, Dr. Pepper, Sprite..."

"Pibb Xtra?"

"Yup, I think so."

"Why are we not there right now?"

"Sounds good to me. Besides, I owe Derpy some muffins," said True Heart.

"YEAH!" By now I shouldn't have to tell you who said that.

The group soon departed to the cafeteria, the topic of a Class President set aside for the moment. Only Sunset Shimmer refused to let it leave her mind.

*** *** ***

Zihiri too was beginning to feel pangs of hunger, but she chose to ignore them, at least for a little bit. She could eat later; now, she only wanted to learn.

Zihiri was a markedly introverted zebra. She didn't have any friends outside of Hope's Peak Academy, and she didn't care one way or the other if it turned out any different inside. All she needed normally was a quiet place to practice her craft, or at the very least read a good book. As it happened, immediately upon entering her room she'd found a very interesting little tome resting on her bed...

Your Motive is... Actually a Bit More Specific Than Just 'Despair'

*Ding dong, bing bong*

"Good morning, everypony! It is now 7 a.m. and nighttime is officialy over! Time to rise and shine! Get ready to greet another beee-yutiful day!" As polite as the wake-up call tried to be, Monokuma's faux saccharine voice just made it annoying. An airhorn would have been more welcome.

Click Clack woke up, his body and mind resisting every notion of actually getting out of bed. It took him a few minutes, but finally he muttered "Great. Yesterday wasn't a dream... Well, I'm not gonna get any less kidnapped by staying in bed. Besides, I might as well give the readers what they came here for..."

He went out to the cafeteria, where he saw Snowdrop,  Octavia, Sunset, Lyra, Derpy, and Bulk already there eating. Soon after, Rook and Soarin came in, followed by True Heart and Vinyl. Judging from the looks on their faces, none of the latecomers were 'morning' ponies.

Next came Yoyo and Frostbite, the latter wearing the former's jacket and looking extremely satisfied. Yoyo herself had replaced her jacket with a school uniform one from her room's wardrobe. They took their seats next to Sunset and Lyra.

"We looked for you all over! Where the hell were you yesterday?" Sunset whispered to him angrily.

"In Yoyo's bed. Sorry, I only got like half the info you wanted and blabbed everything about your plans to her during pillow talk, but personally I think that overall that afternoon was well spent."

"You two did it all day?" Lyra asked, amazed. "What is this, a fanfic written by  some nerdy virgin with unrealistic expectations?"

"Hey, I'm just waiting 'til marriage!" Click yelled from across the room. "And will everypony stop bashing fanfics already?"

Frostbite shrugged. "Well, we took breaks now and then, plus I've had a lot of experience to build my stamina. Why, are you curious? Yoyo agreed to an open relationship."

"Because Celestia knows one pony isn't enough for me either!" Yoyo agreed.

Lyra blushed. "No, I have a marefriend back home."

"I can't believe you, you little letch!" Sunset seethed at Frostbite while looking around to make sure nopony else was listening.

"Relax, I earned Yoyo's vote for ya," said Frostbite, to which Yoyo nodded in affirmation.

"Just don't do anything to make things boring and I'm A-Okay!" she said.

Sunset looked like she wanted to be angry, but even one switched vote was a lot among sixteen ponies. She sighed and accepted it as a win.

Zihiri walked into the room next next, serving herself and sitting down far from the other students.

Next came Featherweight, looking more than a little angry. "Zihiri! What the hell did you do? I just woke up in a broom closet and found out it's tomorrow! Also, can someone please tell me why my hooves are covered in gumdrop goo and where I got a bottle of bleach and this golden cup?"

"Also, you should probably explain the female underclothes on your head," added Zihiri nonchalantly.

"So that's where those went," noted Yoyo, though she didn't seem to mind.

Featherweight blushed and tore them off, throwing them toward their owner. "Ew..." He took a few deep breaths and calmed down. "Anyway, since we're on the topic of putting this stuff back, where's Button Mash? I feel like I'm supposed to give the bleach to him for some reason."

"Yeah, where is he? I mean, lots of us were late getting here, but it's almost time for that assembly thing," asked Vinyl.

As her friend spoke, a small, dark speck of unease rose up inside Octavia, which soon began to grow very quickly. "I'm going to check on him." She trotted out immediately.

A few moments later, the group heard a scream coming from the dormitories.

Everypony dropped what they were doing and ran towards the sound. However, as they got closer, they began hearing other things... gunshots, explosions, different screams... When they reached the room, they looked inside and realized that all the sounds were coming from a video game system with the volume turned up loud (notably, the controller cords looked a lot like piano wire). Button was sitting dazed in front of the TV screen, dark circles under his eyes as he watched the virtual carnage on his screen. Apparently, he'd been in this room the whole time, and they'd only been able to hear the screams when Octavia opened the door.

Click burst into laughter, perhaps a bit harder than was warranted.

Octavia was inside the room, trying to get Button's attention. It took actually touching and shaking him to get him to glance at her for a moment. "Have you been playing that game all night?" she asked.

"Yeah, don't worry, the scissors are in the lamp," Button said, slurring his speech.

"Did you even hear Monokuma's announcement?"

"He didn't swim with the three brass monkeys..."

"Well, he's clearly fine... er, unharmed, at least," said Soarin.

Suddenly Monokuma popped out of Button's wardrobe, dancing excitedly. "Is he a serial killer yet? Is he? Is he? According to this instructional essay I found by Jack Clopson about creating murderers, Button should be stabbing hookers and stealing chariots by now. That's the whole reason I gave him that game!"

"Jack Clopson didn't write instructional essays, you idiot..." said a facehoofing Featherweight. "He wrote anti new-media propaganda so that parents would force their foals to read books, which, unbeknownst to the public, contained subliminal messages to encourage complacency and blind trust in the increasingly authoritarian government."

Zihiri rolled her eyes. "The sad part is that the Mushroom Powder he inhaled has most certainly worn off by now."

Monokuma rolled onto the floor laughing. "Oh yeah, I knew giving you that spellbook full of Advanced Dark Alchemy was a good idea! That was some funny stuff yesterday! He was wearing panties on his head the whole damn night! Did I leave enough ingredients for you, by the way? I'm not much of a potion guy myself, so I wasn't sure how much you'd need."

"I could use more aconite and rainbow juice, but overall I should be fine for a while, thank you," Zihiri answered politely.

Button spoke up again as if he were still part of the conversation. Or at least, some conversation. "You can't be balsawood if turquoise snickerdoodle elephant."

Monokuma ripped the game's cord out of the wall and brandished his claws threateningly. "Anyway, isn't it about time you ponies got to the gym? Let's go, let's go, move it!" Even Button snapped out of his trance as Monokuma started using the cord as a whip.

When the ponies all arrived at the gym, they saw sixteen desks arranged in the middle of the room, each one with a portable DVD player and headphones sitting on top of it. Meanwhile, another Monokuma was waiting for them on the stage. "Well, it's about time! Do you realize that it's almost 7:56? Another few minutes and I would have had to punish you all!"

"Just shut up and tell us what we're here for," demanded Sunset.

"Two things: first, I would like to inform you all that I have set up a voting booth here." He pointed to the wall on the left side of the room, where there was a wooden voting booth. It was very simple in design: two boards made up the side walls, and the front wall was made of a bigger board to accommodate a mural of several Monokumas dressed up with American symbols of democracy. The back of the booth was simply the wall of the gym, and there was no roof. "It's very simple; inside, there are two buttons, one for Octavia and one for Sunset, since they were the only ones nominated. You may use it any time before the voting period ends. However, for the sake of privacy (and because I half-assed the construction and doubt it'll stand up to a good basketball hit), any playing in the gym is forbidden for the duration of the election. Second, and more importantly, I've realized that I made a terrible mistake when I told you all to kill each other."

"You're letting us go?" Soarin was the first to respond, but the other ponies all had similar ideas.

"What? Of course not! Will you stop barking up that tree already? I meant that when I was setting up the pieces of this game, I left out one of the most important parts! You have weapons, you've all had an opportunity I'm sure, but you don't have any motive, at least not a pressing one. So let me sweeten the deal to really light a fire under your plots! Take note of the desks in front of you. Each one has a name written on it. Find yours, press play, and use the information on it to inspire equicide!"

Reluctantly, the students obeyed. The only one who couldn't immediately follow through was Snowdrop, who just looked at Monokuma like he was a jerk.

"I said find your desk!" Monokuma yelled at her. Soarin rushed to help Snowdrop out, not that she could see the screen anyway.

She was about to put on her headphones, but before she could she was treated to the sounds of her fellow students as they saw their DVDs.

Button Mash- "No! Oh Celestia please, no!"

Sunset Shimmer- "That... That's not real. This is fake. It's fake!"

Vinyl Scratch- "Mom! Dad!"

Rook- "I think I'm gonna be sick..."

Zihiri- "Well, that's disconcerting."

The rest of the ponies answered much the same. Derpy couldn't say anything; she just screamed in absolute horror and broke started sobbing. Yoyo gasped loudly and the sound of a shattering screen could be heard after.

"S-Soarin!" Snowdrop called. This was no time for pride. "Soarin, what's on mine?"

She felt him at her side, placing a wing around her. "It... It's nothing, they're just fake videos Monokuma's trying to scare us with." He sounded like he could barely talk, and he seemed to be holding close to her for his own comfort as much for hers.

"Soarin, I'm serious, I need to know!"

Reluctantly, he hit the play button on her player again. "It's a color photo of two ponies... a batpony mare and a pegasus colt. He's kind of gaunt and bedridden, but both are smiling at the camera." Soarin swallowed... this couldn't be good... "Now... I-I can't say it."

She wrapped a hoof around his, tears falling down her cheeks. "I can take it."

"It's another picture, this time black and white. The room they were in is trashed. There's scratches on the walls and dark stains everywhere. Both of the ponies are... missing." He lied about the fact that the thin colt was actually curled up completely under the covers, still there, but hidden aside from a bit of his tail sticking out. The covers had the same dark stains that the walls did. "There's one more screen shift. It's a message that says 'Helping Hoof and Hail Storm: The gentle assistant and her sickly charge. What happened? Where are they? What can you do to save them? All will be revealed upon graduation.'"

Snowdrop pulled Soarin close to her and wept into his neck.

"Well, I think you all have enough motive to get down to some good old murder now, right?" Monokuma asked between bouts of laughter. He stepped to the left just in time to avoid the DVD player Bulk chucked at his head. "Wow, nice one, but you're supposed to go for other students, and try not to be seen, alright?"

"What's wrong with you?" True Heart yelled. "What did you do to our families?"

"Okay, I'll tell you... as soon as you murder somepony! Didn't you watch the video?"

"This doesn't change anything, Monokuma," said Octavia. "We refuse to give in to your threats."

"My, what a brave act! I guess we'll just have to wait and see, won't we? I'd better get going though. I'll come back once the first murder happens... so I guess in about five minutes. Tootles!" With that, he hopped out of sight.

"Damn it!" Octavia shouted, throwing a desk to the ground. Vinyl put a foreleg around her, rubbing her back until she calmed down. "Sorry, I just... I wasn't ready for that."

"Alright, everypony settle down!" Sunset shouted. "This is not a cause for panic. We already decided that all of us being kidnapped would be hard enough for Monokuma to hide from the authorities. Adding our friends and families to that, it'd be impossible."

"But we also said that he was powerful," Rook said, no longer just depressed but thoroughly distraught. "He is no normal criminal, he is a dark god throwing us about like dolls! Even without his graduation, there's nothing we can do but wait until he tires of us and we are left here to rot in his toy chest forever. Our only hope is what we feared the most! To be saved through murde-"

Sunset slapped him. "Shut up already! Nopony is going to die!"

"I see... No pony... Just me, the griffon..." he slumped to the ground.

She ignored him. "You ponies panicking is exactly what he wants! I happen to know plenty of tricks that could have been used to fake those pictures, and all of them are easily within Monokuma's abilities considering what we know of him. We should all just forget this ever happened!"

Yoyo leaned back in her desk. "Yeah, you're right. I just wish he'd done something more fun with it than what he did. He could have made a photo of Celestia with a moustache and polka dots instead!"

Those who were still scared or crying all stopped and looked to her. Few things can disrupt fear and sadness like the stupidest remark you've ever heard.

"Well, let's hope you're right," said True Heart. "Come on, Ditzy Doo, let's go find something to take our minds of this." The mare in question nodded silently, still crying.

"I'm going back to my room. I need to sleep this off..." Button said, sniffling a bit.

"Me too," said Yoyo, who actually seemed to be over it. "Wanna join me?" she asked Frostbite seductively.

"Alright. I need somepony to snuggle the bad thoughts away," he said, his head hanging low.

Soon, everypony began leaving to find whatever comforts they could cling to. The only two who remained were Sunset and Lyra.

"You don't think he really got to them, do you? If he's telling the truth, then... my whole family..." Lyra could barely hold back tears.

Sunset shook her head."He's faking it. He knows us well enough to have kidnapped us and given us those Ultimate titles, remember? He knows what our families look like." She was speaking to reassure herself more than Lyra, but ironically it probably helped Lyra more. Snips, Snails, and Sunset's parents were all on her motive, once as ponies, and once as humans before the final image of them critically injured in the pony world. Monokuma was really driving home the fact that he could cross through the mirror somehow. Whether or not it was real, that bear was bad news. "Come on. These ponies are going to need a leader now more than ever. Let's give me my first votes."

*** *** ***

Snowdrop trotted to her room. She heard wings behind her the whole way there and knew they belonged  to Soarin, so she wasn't surprised when he spoke.

"Snowdrop, do you wanna talk about it at all?" he asked.

"If you want. I don't know what else to do... come in." She took out her room key and felt around the door a bit. Soarin was about to help her when she got it in the lock herself. She trotted inside and took a seat on the bed. Soarin took the chair.

"So..." Soarin wracked his brain for something to say to her, but all he could think about was the picture of Snowdrop's family, but he didn't want to mention the gruesome second picture. "I... uh... I didn't see your parents in that picture, maybe that means they're fine!"

"My parents died years ago."

Way to cheer her up, idiot, Soarin thought to himself, cringing. "Sorry, that was... not well thought out."

"It's okay. It was a long time ago. My dad was killed  by a mugger when I was five. Mom was hit by a sky chariot on the way to the pet store when she was going to buy me a pet bird."

"Again, I'm so sorry. They must have been really nice though."

"Oh, they were. The main reason my mom was out getting the bird was to cheer me up after my first bird died of cancer."

Tears started forming in Soarin's eyes. "That's terrible... I didn't know birds could get cancer."

"Yeah, you don't hear about it as much as ponies, obviously, but they do. It was the same kind of cancer my brother Hail Storm was diagnosed with a year ago."

Shut up, Soarin! The more you talk the worse her backstory gets! Soarin scolded himself, but he continued anyway. "Oh my gosh... How's he doing now?"

"He was getting better, but now Monokuma..." her eyes filled with tears as she let out a small whine of fear.

Soarin facehoofed so hard he thought he might have bruised himself. He immediately went to her side and wrapped a wing around her. "Snowdrop, I am so sorry, I just... I don't know, I want to help but I keep screwing up..."

She couldn't say anything through her tears, but when she felt his tears fall on her mane, she nuzzled him. It seemed to get the message across.

They stayed there for a little while, crying together as he petted her mane. Finally, Snowdrop found the strength to speak again. "Thank you, Soarin. I know it didn't work the way you thought it would, but you did help me."

"I'm glad I did something right then. The last thing I wanted was to make things worse like that."

"You couldn't have known. "

"I guess. I really do think you're brother and Helping Hoof are going to be safe though. Sunset was completely right when she said those pictures could have been faked."

"I suppose so. What's your family like?"

"Oh, it actually wasn't my family that was on my picture. It was the other Wonderbolts. They're like family though."

"I see. I have been curious about them, ever since you mentioned them when we met."

"Alright. Well for one, there's Spitfire, our captain. It's kinda weird, normally she's one of the most laid back mares you'll ever meet, but then when it's time for practice or training recruits, she turns into the world's biggest hardass. Then there's Surprise. She's really fun to be with, but she doesn't like being in the public eye. Fortunately, our uniforms hide our faces, so she just keeps it on whenever she has to make a Wonderbolt appearance. That way, if she wants to enjoy the civilian life, she just takes it off in secret and nopony can recognize her. Also, there's Fleetfoot, textbook 'hopeless romantic.' When she sets her sights on a guy, she'd move the sun and moon to get his attention. I'm not even exaggerating, the Princesses were pissed."

Soarin sighed as he reminisced. His Motive had shown all of his teammates, yet those three most prominently, lying unconscious next to a brick building, each looking like they'd crashed - or been thrown - against it. Surprise even had a compound fracture in her wing. Somehow even worse than their injuries was the teddy-bear shaped shadow looming over them. Then there was that message: 'You can help these ponies taste the sky again. You graduated from the Wonderbolts Academy, how much harder could Hope's Peak be?'

He shook his head before he could start entertaining such thoughts. "You know, when I think about it, there's no way Monokuma caught the Wonderbolts. Just me? Sure, if I'm like, asleep or something. All of them? Impossible. The way I see it, if my picture was faked, they're all faked."

Snowdrop hugged him, her tears coming much slower now. Thanks for that. I feel so much better when you put it that way. I just... it's so hard to think of Hail Storm in danger. I'd give anything to know he was safe. Anyway, you're right, the motives weren't real, so we should move on to other things. You know, I didn't really get to eat much before Monokuma bothered us. You still hungry?"

"As a horse," he said with a smile.

"Great! Let's go get some more food then."

"All right. Lead the way." He almost chastised himself again for saying that to a blind mare, but when he saw the smile on her face as she started walking and recalled how independent she liked to be. In passing, he noticed that there was a large marble block in the corner of her room, a hammer and sharp chisel on the ground in front of it.

I'd give anything to know he was safe.

The thought passed through his mind for just a moment before he had to repress his laughter at such an impossible thing.

*** *** ***

"Where are you, Mr. Pony Butt? I'm gonna pin your tail on!" Yoyo said as she stumbled about. Much to Frostbite's dismay, Yoyo didn't find 'sad sex' as fun as he did, so she'd left after one try. She'd taken her Pin the Tail on the Pony game out of her room and set it up in the cafeteria. Unfortunately, Frostbite wasn't up for playing, so she was going solo and thus had nopony to set her in the right direction after she spun around. The end result was a dizzy mare walking around trying to stab a giant pin into what she assumed was a wall. Understandably, Vinyl Scratch wasn't quite comfortable when she almost pinned the tail on her lung.

"Hey! Watch it!" Vinyl swatted the pin away, deflecting it into a wall.

"Did I get it? Did I get it?" Yoyo said, pulling off her blindfold. As it turned out, she was nowhere close to the poster she was supposed to stab. In fact, she actually hit the pixelart portrait Button Mash's door, far outside the cafeteria. Even she wasn't sure how she'd gotten out the doors without realizing it.

"No, you didn't get it. You're not supposed to play that game alone, you know. You can take out somepony's eye with that thing."

"Oh, sorry Skippy -that's my name for you, because scratched records skip sometimes- I know I should have had somepony watching, but it looked so fun, I just couldn't wait for somepony else!"

Vinyl rolled her eyes. "Alright, I'll play with you. Fair warning though, I never lose. Not even to Pinkie Pie, and she's a master at this."

"Oh really?" Yoyo said, gesturing for Vinyl to follow her. "I've heard all about that ol' Pinkie Pie. Ponies say she's the mother of all party animals... Or at least, ponies that haven't met me say it."

Vinyl paused for a moment in surprise. She was proud of her partying prowess, but even DJ Pon3 had to admit that she was only a close second to the Element of Laughter. "You have no idea how impossible it is to outdo Pinkie. Nopony can match her fun and intensity, 'cept this one Cheese guy I sometimes DJ for."

Yoyo seemed almost indignant. "Well, yeah, sure she's intense, and I love games and dancing as much as the next filly, but Pinkie is just flat out straight-edge! Everypony knows that a party isn't a party until somepony gets drunk, high, or laid, and I've heard time and time again that that stuff doesn't happen with her."

Vinyl grimaced a little. Pinkie was her standard of greatness, now according to this mare she wasn't a real partier? "Well sure, she tries to keep things family friendly, but she's served alcohol before, and even though she'd never intentionally set ponies up for sex, she's never cockblocked anypony either. Just being straight-edge doesn't make her any less of a partier."

"Well, I hate to break your worldview or anything, but fun and inhibitions just don't go together. Fun is cutting loose, ditching your responsibilities, and seizing the day with no regard for tomorrow! I always say that if you remember the party, you might as well have not done it!"

"Well, I guess that's one way to look at it..." Vinyl pretended to see her point. "But I for one have never had more fun than I've had with her."

A smile flashed across Yoyo's face. "Oh, then you are missing out! Soon as we can, we're getting you drunk, and I'm sure Zihiri will give us some of whatever she gave to Featherweight. And even if those two fail, I know a certain pony right here in this school who will take you on the ride of your life."

"Thanks, but I'm not going to do any of that, 'cept maybe a drink or two."

"Fair enough. I'll turn ya sooner or later."

At that time they reached the cafeteria again and began playing. Their encounter that day taught them two very important things: the first was that even if two ponies seek the same goal, they may have dramatically different ways of doing it; the second was that Vinyl was without a doubt the unparalleled master of Pin the Tail on the Pony.

*** *** ***

"Darn!" Bulk said, stomping in annoyance as the Monomono Machine awarded him a long, black trenchcoat that wouldn't have fit a pony half his size. He went and grabbed it, tossing it haphazardly in a pile with his other unneeded winnings. The barbells he was after stood leaning in the corner, gathering dust.

"Wow, you just have the worst luck with this thing. Let me or Zihiri try a few times, maybe one of us will get it for you," Click said, he and the zebra each waiting patiently with their own small collections of Monocoins.

"After you. Just leave that uranium for me," Zihiri said, looking up at a glowing green lump in a thick plastic case on one of the top shelves.

"Alright, but why?" Click asked.

"It's for a potion I'm making. This one's going to be glow in the dark nail polish."

"If you say so..." Click spent his entire collection, winning several new additions to the 'unwanted' pile, a couple of books that he really had wanted, and last of all, the uranium. "Sorry, Bulk, looks like all the luck's going to Zihiri today."

As Click went to grab the uranium with his magic, Bulk stopped him. "Actually, let me get that. If I want my wing strength back, I'll have to work them out every now and then."

"Okay. You sure though?"

"YEAH! It's not that far up, this'll be nothing for me!" Bulk took to the air and slowly but surely made his way up, having to flap like a hummingbird just to keep himself aloft. "YEAH! YEAHYEAHYEAH!!!" he shouted from a mixture of strain and celebration at his meager progress. He was quickly getting winded though, and looked like he could fall at any time. As soon as he grabbed the uranium, that time arrived. He fell to the ground, the sheer force of impact rattling every shelf in the room. This caused a row of DVDs to topple over, the last of which hit a miniature statue of Venus de Marelo, which fell over onto a foam dart gun, setting it off and causing it to shoot down a small crystal chandelier, which fell into a barrel full of magical scrolls, including a Scroll of Magic Missile that activated and shot at a small box of roman candles, which detonated right behind Zihiri, igniting the entire back half of her cloak.

She didn't waste any time once she realized what happened, and immediately stopped, dropped, and rolled. Click Clack grabbed an inactive lava lamp off of a shelf, broke open the top, and tossed it on her, dousing the flames.

Realizing the fire was out, she stopped and got to her hooves again, taking off what was left of her cloak. "Thank you. That was quick thinking."

"Uh, sorry about your cloak," said Bulk, grabbing a beach towel off the shelf and handing it to her to dry herself with.

"It's fine. It's just fabric," she said as she took off what was left of the cloak, stopping briefly to salvage the star brooch from it. Now that they could see her whole body, they couldn't help but notice that she was very odd looking, even for a zebra. Her mane did not stand up straight, instead flowing more like a pony's mane, and rather than simple black and white, her stripes had a red tint to them. Her cutie mark was... actually, she didn't have one anymore. The flames had burned away all of the fur and tail hair, leaving nothing but a bright pink butt.

As Click and Bulk took in the way this bare patch contrasted with her otherwise exotic form, they had to literally bite their tongues to keep from bursting into laughter. Zihiri noticed them of course, and turned even more red when she looked back and saw the damage. She immediately put on the trenchcoat from the 'unwanted' pile, a perfect fit for her, and tucked her brooch and uranium into her saddlebags. Looking back to the two stallions, she bellowed "I swear by each of the Great Old Ones that if either of you so much as chuckle once, Monokuma will be sending me home within the hour."

"Are you gonna be okay?" Click asked, forcing himself to think about dead pets and depressing Disney movie openings to stop himself from giggling.

"It's nothing. I can make a hair growth potion in minutes. Just don't tell anypony about this, and we'll pretend it never happened. Thanks for the uranium." Without another word, she trotted out.

"You think she can still hear if we laugh now?" asked Bulk through clenched teeth.

"I dunno," said Click. "Just don't do it. Try thinking about the opening from Up, where Ellie comes into his life and makes everything perfect and they get married, but then she has the miscarriage, and..." His voice cracks.

"Oh yeah, that would do it for ya," Bulk agreed. "Not to mention the part where he's about to take her to Peru, and then when she's walking up the hill and she falls down..."

"And then she's in the hospital and... and then he had to walk home all alone!" Then he lost control and started sobbing, wrapping his forelegs around Bulk to stop himself from collapsing in sadness. Bulk broke down as well, returning the hug, and the two cried together with a sadness only made possible by the emotionally sadistic writers of Disney and Pixar.

Sh-Shut up! Real men aren't afraid of their emotions! Especially emotions about Up!

They were so wrapped up in their sadness that they failed to notice Featherweight peeking into the room. Now he hadn't heard their conversation, all he knew was that there were two grown stallions who'd been somehow reduced to crying like foals in a room that Zihiri had just walked out of. He immediately took off after her. "Hey! What did you do to them, you monster? Are your misdeeds so foul that even a pony like Bulk Biceps can't handle it? And what's with the cloak and dagger getup, and the glowing thing in your bags? Explain yourself!"

Without even looking back, Zihiri reached into her bag and pulled out a small vial of liquid, uncorked it, and tossed it in his eyes before walking away even faster. "Sorry, that's all I got, no drugs this time."

"Ah! My eyes!" Featherweight collapsed to the ground. "I'm blind! Somepony help me!"

"Relax, it'll wear off in an hour!" she called back.

Once again, Featherweight found himself impaired by one of Zihiri's tricks. As the initial shock wore off, he found that there wasn't even any pain, just blackness. "Okay... if she was telling the truth about it wearing off, then this shouldn't be that big a deal.  I guess I'd better go find Click and Bulk. A little blindness never got in the way in an interview... now which way were they again?"

Carefully, he began feeling his way around, looking for the door to the Monomono Machine room, unaware that he had gone completely in the wrong direction. He searched in vain for any kind of landmark, until his hoof managed to touch something other than wall.

"Huh? What's this?" he wondered aloud. Whatever it was was slender and hairy, and upon further examination he found that it was attached to something warm, furry, and butt-shaped. It took him a full five seconds of feeling around it before he realized what it was. "Oh my gosh I am so sorry!" He immediately let go. "It's just that Zihiri's potion made me-"

"It's all right, I don't mind," replied a familiar voice. "While some ponies might hae overreacted, I know how to take a compliment. Now, where do we go from here?"

"F-Frostbite! Hey, listen, don't read too much in to this! I'm just bli-" He suddenly found it incredibly hard to talk on account of an extra tongue in his mouth. As soon as he realized what was happening, he shoved Frostbite away and took off as fast as he could.

"Oh! Sorry, was that too strong? I know it can be a little intimidating if you're new at this... Well, if you get your nerve back, you know who to call!"

*** *** ***

For most of the students, hearing their motives had been among their most terrifying experiences. However, it was not impossible to cope with it. As the day passed on, more and more students decided that the pictures on the DVDs had been faked. A couple, however, were harder to convince than others.

True Heart hadn't left Ditzy Doo's side all that day. The poor mare had taken the motives harder than anyone, and needed constant reassurance that everything would be all right. The anxiety had only been amplified by the sheer boredom in the school. With the gym closed for the election, the only source of entertainment was talking and baking more muffins. The two remained generally in the kitchen and cafeteria the whole time, until they heard the same chime from the night before.

*Ding dong, bing bong*

"Mm, ahem, this is a school announcement. It is now 10 p.m. As such, it is officially nighttime. Soon the doors to the dining hall will be locked, and entry at that point is strictly prohibited. Okay then... sweet dreams, everypony! Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite..."

"I think that bear's voice somehow got even more annoying since last night..." griped True Heart.

"But I think it's a recording..." said Derpy, whose mind had been elsewhere for much of the day. She still sounded rather out of it.

"Well, either way, we should leave before he gets on our case. Come on, we can't stay here."

"Yeah, I guess so. It's hard to believe it's only our second day here, huh?" Derpy asked as they trotted out.

"I'll say. You want me to walk you back to your room? I'll probably stay up for a couple more hours, but you've looked like you've needed to sleep all day."

"Nah, I'm good for now. I'd rather stay up with you, if that's okay."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure. I know I've been a bit zoned out today, but it's just because I'm just worried about the motives from this morning."

"Just keep telling yourself everything's gonna be fine. You are Ultimate Hope, remember?"

"That's true I guess. At least Monokuma didn't get him too..."

"What's that?"

"Oh, nothing. There was just someone who was missing from my motive, that's all."

"Really? Who?" True Heart asked. He hadn't wanted to pry about the motives, but he figured thinking about someone who was still safe would be good for her morale.

"Oh, just this stallion I used to travel a lot with." Her voice sounded distant, even dreamy.

"Like an ex-coltfriend or something?"

"Yes. Er, no... It's complicated. Either way I've written off any thoughts of romance toward him after the Whale Incident."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Wait, 'Whale Incident?'"

She blushed. "Actually, come to think of it, that'd be harder to explain than the coltfriend thing. He's forgiven me since then, but I didn't take him up on his offer to go back with him. I loved what we did together, but after spending some time in Ponyville, especially with my family, I realized that that's where I belonged." She looked toward the ground. "It was the one thing worth giving him up for."

True Heart immediately went to comfort her. "Don't worry, you just have to keep telling yourself that you'll see them again."

She nodded. "You're right. There's no way it's all gonna end in this school." She had swung between these moments of resolution and episodes of depression several times throughout the day, but each time she had a high point she sounded more and more sure of herself. This time, thankfully, she was able to stay positive. The two spent a few more hours together talking, and while they were up decided to go to the gym to cast their votes for Octavia. At last, they went to their rooms a little after midnight.

*** *** ***

"I can't believe you're eating that..." Octavia said, watching in awe as Vinyl chowed down on the bowl of unrecognizable 'food' she'd made for lunch. It was about 1:00 PM the day after they received their motives. Thankfully, aside from the morning announcement, nopony had seen even the slightest sign of Monokuma.

"You know, it's actually pretty good," Vinyl said. "It tastes kinda like bananas and cinnamon."

"But you were making a grilled cheese."

"True, it didn't exactly go as planned. Where do you think I went wrong? Did I pick the wrong blender setting or something? Or maybe I put too much baking soda..."

"Possibly." Octavia rolled her eyes.

"Well, anyway, you shouldn't knock it 'til you try it. On a side note, how's the election coming?"

"To be honest, I haven't been doing all that much for it. I've just been getting to know the others better, since it does seem that we'll be staying here for a while. I think they'll be able to make the best decision if they get to see the real me. If we're lucky, they'll judge me as the best leader. Otherwise, what's the worst that could happen under Sunset?"

"She breathes down our necks for the entire time we're here and baby-proofs the whole school," Vinyl stated flatly. "Seriously, I don't want that. How much longer do you have to campaign?"

"The deadline to vote is nighttime today. It wasn't a long race at all."

Vinyl nearly choked on her 'food.' "What? Today? Crap, I need to stop putting it off then!"

"Wait, you haven't voted yet and I'm the one who's not taking it seriously enough?"

"Yes, two very big problems that both need fixing right now! I'll go vote, you start handing out flyers and 'Vote for Octi' buttons. I'll be right back." Vinyl stood up and trotted away to the gym.

"We didn't make any of those!" Octavia called after her, but she was already out of earshot. "Oh well. Most ponies have probably voted already anyway."

She noticed that she was now alone in the cafeteria, and Vinyl hadn't finished her 'food.' It couldn't be that bad, could it?

Cautiously, she tried just a little bit of it, only to start gagging. She would later claim that it tasted something like watermelon and shoe polish.

*** *** ***

Vinyl hoped for the best as she made her way to the gym. Sure, Octavia wasn't treating the election with the significance it deserved, but she was a smart mare and the other students probably saw that. After all, even if Sunset won, she might not be as bad as Vinyl thought. She'd been thinking of the worst case scenario before, but what were the odds of that actually happening?

As she began thinking about more realistic outcomes, she reached the gym. Once inside, what she saw was so surreal that it took her a moment to realize something was wrong.

Click Clack was lying on his side in front of the voting booth, his body haloed with a pool of blood.

"Wh-what the hell?" Her voice shook. "There's no way..."

She ran up to him, thoughts racing. This is probably just a bad joke. He poured some paint on the ground and laid in it for a prank. That's all.

When she reached him, it was all too clear that what she saw was no prank. The source of the blood was a wound on the top-right of his skull, which appeared to have been actually knocked concave.

Her body and mind both went numb, and for a moment it seemed as if she wasn't going to react at all. Then the full weight of the situation set in, and all her pent up fear released itself in a primal scream as she ran from the gym in tears.

Hopeless Cram Session

Before long, every student was gathered in the gym around the body. The only one missing, for whatever reason, was Button Mash. At first Vinyl had only been able to find Octavia and a few other students who came when they heard her screaming, but once she brought them back to the gym, Monokuma had made an announcement.

*Ding dong, bing bong*

"A body has been discovered! After a certain amount of time, which you may use however you like, the class trial will begin!"

After that, the other students came from wherever they were in the school, and were able to find the rest of the group.

"Wow! I can't believe it! He's really dead?" Yoyo said when she saw the body. "Alas, poor Yorclick! I knew him, Frostbite." Frostbite gave her a 'now's not the time' glare.

Rook could barely stand he was so distraught. "I knew it... it was only a matter of time. Soon everyone will be trying to kill before they meet their demise themselves, and we will fall into anarchy..."

"This... this is... dammit! Are you telling me we couldn't last one fucking week?" Sunset yelled.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up!" Monokuma's voice echoed through the room. "It was bound to happen sooner or later." The students turned and saw him standing on his podium, like he had on the first day.

"Monokuma! What happened here! Tell us right now!" Octavia shouted furiously. "Are you the one responsible for this?"

"What? Me?" Monokuma gave an innocent look. "Of course not. The rules only allow for students to kill one another. I can't dirty my little paws unless someone breaks a rule, and Clicky didn't do anything like that. However, I was watching the murder on my cameras, and I saw plain as day that it was one of you students that did it."

"It was Button Mash, wasn't it?" asked Featherweight. "A murderer becomes -what was that word you made up for it? - 'blackened,' and gets set free. He's not here right now, so you must have let him go, right?"

"What? You think it's that simple? That all you need to do was become blackened?" Monokuma burst into laughter. "Look at the rule again, dum-dum!"

7. Anyone who kills a fellow student and becomes "blackened" will graduate, unless they are discovered.

"You're forgetting the second part: 'unless they are discovered.' And you all haven't even gotten the chance to prove his guilt!" Monokuma pointed out. "Not that I'm saying whether Button's guilty or not. I don't know why he hasn't shown up yet."

"I see. Then that's what you meant in that announcement when you mentioned a 'class trial.'" observed Sunset. "You want us to solve the crime."

"Bingo! You identify the blackened, and I'll execute them for ya and get revenge on your poor friend Click Clack."

Yoyo actually smiled. "I see, it's a game! It's just like Hide-and-Seek, and 'blackened' is the word for 'it!'"

"Yoyo, have you ever actually played Hide-and-Seek? Or do you just need a refresher course on the rules?" asked Soarin.

"But why should we play your game at all?" Zihiri asked Monokuma curiously. She was wearing the trenchcoat from the day before, though rather than using the sleeves, she'd used her brooch to fasten it around her neck like a cape. "Suppose we do not care for revenge, then what's in it for us? What if we choose not to entertain your demands even if it means letting the blackened get away?"

"Well, you could if you want to, I suppose..." Monokuma mused. "Of course you wouldn't live that long if you did. After all, if you can't catch the perp, I'll have no choice but to execute the rest of you instead."

"What?" Zihiri gasped. The rest of the students all reacted likewise.

"You never said everypony had to die, just the one victim!" Derpy accused.

"Well, I didn't say it, but it was heavily implied." Monokuma said casually.

"No it wasn't! You just completely pulled that out of your ass!" Vinyl yelled.

"I get it," said Sunset. "You didn't tell us that until now because you wanted to make it easier for somepony to give in and commit murder. Sacrificing one life to save your whole family... it almost sounds reasonable, right? The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. But killing fifteen? I don't think anypony here had that many others relying on them. Am I on the right track?"

Monokuma scratched his head. "Wow... that's a brilliant idea! Er- I mean yes, that was exactly what I planned, hence its brilliance! Regardless, if you guys wanna see tomorrow, you'd better start looking for evidence before the class trial starts! Here, just to show you I'm not completely against you, I'll even get you started. This is your first piece of evidence: the Monokuma File!" He held up a black folder marked with a 1. "This contains all the information I can give you about Click Clack's death!"

Monokuma File 1: The victim was Click Clack. The time of death is estimated to be sometime between 11:00 a.m. and 1:00 p.m. The body was discovered in front of the voting booth in the gymnasium. The cause of death was a single blow to the top and back of the skull, behind the right ear. The victim's  shoulder was also completely shattered.

He passed out a copy of the Monokuma File to each one of the students. "Well, that's all for me until the class trial starts. Happy investigating!" Monokuma said before disappearing again.

"I can't believe this is happening..." Snowdrop said, on the verge of tears.

"I know, it's utterly horrible, but we have no choice in the matter. We'll just have to figure it out and hope this doesn't happen again. Let's check the scene of the crime first," Sunset said, making a beeline for the voting booth.

The floor in front of the booth, as well as a good portion of the inside, was covered with Click's blood. This kept most of the other students away, but Sunset decided that there was no alternative but to risk getting her hooves a dirty. Lyra was the only other one to get close, standing on her hind legs to minimize contact.

The second Sunset stepped inside, she saw that something was odd. The first thing she noticed was a foam sword dangling in front of her. She looked up and saw it duct taped by the handle to a trombone that somepony had laid across the booth's roofless walls. It was set up so that when someone opened the door, the door would push the sword, moving the trombone forward. The second thing she noticed was a bowling ball that had rolled into the front corner of the booth.

"I get it...!" Lyra said, looking in over her shoulder. "It's the bucket of water above the door trick. They wedged the bowling ball between the trombone and the front board of the voting booth. When Click opened the door, it fell on him!"

"That sounds about right..." said Sunset. "Of course, if Click had opened the door with magic like a normal unicorn, this wouldn't have worked, but clearly the blackened's gamble paid off."

She levitated the trombone down and examined it more closely... that's when she saw something stuck in the duct tape, a piece of dead-givaway evidence.

Lyra gasped, but before she could go out and tell the others, Sunset stopped her. "Don't say anything just yet," she said, subtly moving the evidence into her saddlebags. "Trust me on this."

She looked at her oddly, but decided to bear with her for the time being.

Sunset levitated the trap pieces out of the voting booth and set them on a clean area of the ground before explaining her deductions to the other students.

"Those are some of the things I got from the Monomono Machine," Bulk said, pointing to the murder weapons. When some other ponies looked toward him he immediately clarified, "Not that I did it or anything. I was putting all of them in one of the classrooms, remember? And I told plenty of ponies where they were, so anypony could have went in and took them."

"That's true. Maybe the culprit left some evidence in there," True Heart suggested. "Somepony should go check. I'll do it."

"Take someone else with you. Remember, one of us can't be trusted, so when we search anywhere, we need to be at least in pairs, probably more, so they don't tamper with any evidence," said Sunset.

"Fair enough. Ditzy, wanna come?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, okay..." she said, shaking.

"I'll go too, since I know that room pretty well," said Bulk.

"Count me in too," said Frostbite.

"Other than that, the room that'll likely have the most evidence in it is this one. I'll stay here and search some more, I'm still not sure we have all the pieces to this..." said Octavia.

"I'll stay as well. Click was one of the ponies here I got along better with here, I might as well stand vigil over him while I wait for the investigation to fail and my life to end," Rook said.

"Dude, not a cool way to think right now," said Vinyl. "Anyway, what else is there to do? Whatever my job is, I don't want it to be in this room."

"It's possible that the culprit hid some evidence in their room thinking it was safe. You can come check there with me," said Featherweight. "But I want Zihiri to come too, so I can keep a closer eye on her. After all, letting a murderer get away with their crime... odd suggestion, isn't it?"

"I simply meant that we should refuse to let Monokuma command us further, but if you want my company, you shall have it."

"Aww, you guys are digging through everyone's drawers? I picked the wrong group..." muttered Frostbite.

"I wanna go look for Spinny-Head, (That's my nickname for Button, cuz of the hat)," said Yoyo. "Whatever he's been doing must be fun to keep him away from a murder mystery game!"

"I should do that too," said Snowdrop. "I might be able to hear him if he's nearby."

"Me too. I'm worried about him, what if he was a witness and the blackened killed him to keep him quiet?" added Soarin.

"I guess I will too," said Soarin. "That's the thing that's bugging me the most here."

"Alright then. That just leaves me and Lyra. We'll go wash this blood off our hooves, then meet up with the ones searching the rooms, since they have the most ground to cover. Everyone else, give Featherweight your room keys. Soarin, when your group finds Button, get his key too and bring it to us. Alright, let's move out!"

*** *** ***

"So Sunset, why didn't you show anypony the thing?" Lyra asked, once the two were out of earshot of the rest of the group.

"I'll let everyone know, when the time comes," said Sunset. "But first I want to see what the other students can do. I mean, what if a second murder happens? I'd rest a lot easier knowing if the others were capable investigators." Or incapable, should I choose to be the next blackened, she thought to herself.

She reached the nearest mare's bathroom and walked in to wash her hooves off, with Lyra following right behind.

*** *** ***

"So, you see anything that sticks out?" Rook asked Octavia as she looked over the pieces of the trap.

She didn't know what exactly she was looking for, so she took in everything, though nothing seemed to jump out at her. "Nothing at the moment... I mean, something does seem strange, but I can't quite place it..." Octavia answered.

First she looked at the bowling ball. It was blue, marked as 14 pounds, and it looked brand new aside from a small scratch (most likely from when it hit the ground) and a small red spot from where it had been touching the bloody floor. There were also three holes in it, but she'd seen them on other bowling balls before, not that she knew what purpose they could possibly serve.

Next she went to examine the trombone and sword. Carefully, she unwrapped the tape from the two and looked over it on its own. She'd hoped that she could find a hair or something stuck to it, but no such luck.

The sword was made of firm, stiff foam, but had a hard inner core. It was about three feet long and had a handle that was made from a soft material meant to be easy on a wielder's teeth. The whole thing was dark grey. "That's the kind used for Live Action Role Playing," pointed out Rook. "I have some friends back home who were into it. It's a lot sturdier than the ones you find at foals' toy stores."

Next she examined the trombone. Regardless of her specialty, she was familiar with most common musical instruments and knew enough to see that there wasn't anything structurally unordinary about this one. The sword had been taped between the slide braces, and there was a small scratch on the bell, which was probably where the bowling ball had been leaning. There were also scratches on the main slide and tuning slide from where it had scraped against the boards from the voting booth.

"Figured anything out?" Rook asked.

"Nothing in particular..." Octavia sighed. "How they did it is clear, but who it was is impossible to figure out from just this... Maybe we could check the body?"

"We might as well. Perhaps a friendly touch will be good for Click's restless spirit."

"I want to look at that shoulder, at least. It was the only thing on the body besides the head injury."

"I'll do it. The better to avoid more contact with blood," Rook said, eyeing the trail that Lyra and Sunset had left on their way out.

He hovered above Click's body and carefully examined his shoulder. Fortunately, Click was lying on his right side and the broken shoulder was on his left, so it wasn't in his blood.

It was instantly clear that the shoulder was broken. There was a huge lump where a bone fragment was protruding, but nothing had broken the skin. When Rook parted the fur out of the way, the entire area was horrifically discolored by internal bleeding. He wasn't an expert by any stretch, but he reported everything he saw to Octavia to the best of his abilities.

"I see... I'm really hoping that the others find more evidence, because this isn't helping much at all," Octavia said. "Curse that bear! First he forces one of us to commit murder, then he expects the rest, with no training, to figure out who! Nothing about this is fair!"

"It certainly isn't," Rook said. "But when is life ever?"

*** *** ***

"Stay in the air here, Snowdrop. Sunset and Lyra got blood everywhere on their way down here," Soarin said as he escorted Snowdrop and Yoyo through the hallway. The Unicorns had been so messy that a couple of drops splashed in front of the stallions' bathroom, and there was even a dainty little hoofprint on the mare's bathroom door.

Speaking of the bathrooms, the group only had to go that far before finding Button. "He's in there." Snowdrop said, pointing to the stallions' bathroom. "I can hear the music from that game thing of his. I think it's actually a remake of a tune from one I heard Luna playing one time."

When Soarin and Yoyo listened in too, they could hear it as well. It was quiet, but definitely there.

"He's been in the bathroom this whole time?" Soarin said, almost offended.

"Well, let's get him out!" Yoyo chirped, opening the door.

"Wait, that's the stallions'... aw screw it," Soarin said, deciding that worse things had already happened than ignoring gender segregation. He followed her in as well, Snowdrop alone opting to stay outside.

"Ooh! Soarin, what's this thing?" Yoyo asked, examining a urinal.

"It's... just don't touch it. Stallions pee in 'em," Soarin said, a little exasperated that she was being so ridiculous so soon after a death. The only saving grace to the situation was that Button Mash's hooves were hanging visibly in one of the stalls, his game's music playing loudly.

"Wait, you pee in this thing? ... How?" she asked. "Come to think of it... how do toilets work for us too? Especially for stallions!" She looked back at her hind legs' anatomy, baffled at the prospect of sitting in a way that would let her hind hooves hang down like Button's did (even though she did have regular experience using a toilet herself). "Maybe I'll ask Lyra. She's good at doing weird stuff with her joints. Heh heh. Joints. Like with pot. Speaking of which, after this I'm gonna need to de-stress a bit. You got any on you, High-Flyer? (That's my nickname for you, cuz you like to fly and look like a stoner)."

"Yoyo, stay focused!" Soarin said. "We're only in here for Button." Soarin went and knocked on the stall door. "Button? Hello?"

"Come on out, Spinny-Head!" added Yoyo, pounding on the door as well.

Button didn't seem to hear them or react at all, even when they knocked and called louder. "Wow, it's as if he wasn't even alive back there..." said Yoyo.

"I know. Honestly, I might actually be nervous if he hadn't done this once before already," said Soarin.

"Regardless, forget knocking! Time for the easy way!" Yoyo said. Before Soarin could stop her, she rolled onto her back and shimmied under the stall door.

And then she screamed in terror.

... Oh, wait, did I say 'she?' I meant 'he.' Button screamed. Though Yoyo did give a little yelp as he literally kicked her out from under the door.

"What just happened?" Snowdrop asked, running in.

"It's nothin'. Basically Button's fine." Soarin explained.

The sound of flushing could be heard before Button opened the door and stepped out, his game now stored in his saddlebags."Yoyo, what's wrong with you? This is the boy's bathroom, and that is not how you tell somepony to hurry up!"

"Button, how long have you been in there? There's been a death!" Soarin said.

"Wh-what?" Button's eyes widened. He was sure he'd misheard.

"Click Clack's been murdered, and if we don't find out who did it, Monokuma's going to kill the rest of us," Soarin summarized the situation. "You didn't even hear the announcement?"

"N-no! You know how I am when I'm in the zone! I've been in here for the last couple hours or so. I went to go vote, but once I was in the gym I started having second thoughts on who I wanted, plus I had to go to the bathroom. So instead I came in here to think about it and work in some play time, but then while I was on the toilet I got to the boss level. Then once I beat him there was this big plot twist, so of course I had to watch it play out a little longer, and then... well, you get the point. And don't act like you've never wasted time on the toilet yourself!"

"Not for two hours," Soarin groaned. "Well, come on and help us look for clues. I'll fill you in on the way," Soarin said, leading him out.

"And fill me in on those pee things!" Yoyo said, following after.

"Pee things?" Snowdrop wondered aloud, though she decided that she was better off not knowing.

*** *** ***

Bulk Biceps, Derpy Hooves, Frostbite, and True Heart found the prize room in complete disarray. Bulk had been placing the items he won into a pile on the teacher's desk at the front of the room, but somepony had scattered many of the items around all over the floor.

"Huh, it looks like whoever was in here didn't know where to find the parts for their deathtrap," observed Frostbite. "Anypony who was wouldn't have had to dig through the pile like this."

"However, the sword and the trombone were more than big enough to protrude from the pile. Perhaps the blackened saw them immediately and just pulled them out, spilling the pile in the process," True Heart interjected. "If that were the case, even Bulk, who should know these things perfectly, could have done it."

"YEAH!" Bulk said. "Er, not that I did it, I mean, but I remember the trombone was buried about halfway down. The bowling ball was actually on the bottom. I remember it because I had trouble getting it to stop rolling around, so I put a bunch of other things around it. See, there's a hole in the pile still on the desk right there."

"Hm... What about the sword?" asked True Heart.

"It was one of the last things I got. I left it leaning up against the side, so the blackened would have seen it straight away."

"I remember that," said Frostbite. "I was in here yesterday and found that sexy pinup calendar you won. Thanks for that, by the way!"

"It was nothing. Hey, wait a minute..." Bulk said, picking something up off the ground. It was a partly used roll of duct tape. "Look at this. I think this is what the blackened used to make that trap. Think it's a clue or something?"

"Maybe. Wait, was it just another thing in the pile, or did they bring it from somewhere else?" asked True Heart.

"It was in the pile, why?"

"Because this could be proof that the blackened has been in here before! Otherwise, the culprit would just have to come here hoping that there was a big T shaped object instead of the sword and trombone! Whoever the culprit was had to have known about the tape!"

"Hey, yeah! So you're saying the blackened must have been one of the ponies who took something from here before!" said Frostbite. "I wouldn't say that's conclusive, but it's the best we got so far, right?"

"YEAH!" added Bulk.

Ditzy, who still looked incredibly nervous, just nodded.

*** *** ***

*Ding dong, bing bong*

"Erm, so ah... I'm getting tired of waiting. Shall we just plunge right in? It's the moment you've all been waiting for... the class trial! Please go through the red door on the first floor of the school. See you soon!"

Monokuma's words set shivers down the students' spines.

"So, I guess that's it then, and not a second later than we needed..." said Featherweight. His group, which had been joined by Soarin's and Sunset's groups, had only just finished searching the last room. He'd wanted to do a second sweep, but now it looked like that was impossible. "So, are we sure nopony found anything useful?" he pressed his hoof against his forehead in frustration. They'd found out each pony's weapon from Monokuma, but none of them seemed relevant to the crime at hand. Other than that, the only thing that stuck out about each room was the personal effects that some of them got from the Monomono Machine.

"Ugh... I got nothing!" yelled Vinyl. "This can't be happening!"

"M-maybe Octavia's or True Heart's group found something..." suggested Snowdrop. "We can't give up hope now!"

"Oh no, we're dead!" Button wailed. "That's it! I'm just gonna cram in all the playtime I can before I die!" He pulled his game out of his saddlebags and started playing.

"Now, now, my beloved students..." Monokuma's voice came over the intercom again. "Failure to give the class trial your undivided attention is a violation of the school rules. Please turn off all personal electronics and report to the elevator on the first floor next to the gym. Any further failure to comply is punishable by detention, in-school suspension, and/or death, and I'm feeling in a 'deathy' mood today."

Button reluctantly put the game away and slowly marched to the gym along with the other students. They found Octavia and Rook already there, and True Heart's group came shortly after.

"Did you guys find anything?" True Heart asked.

"Not much, you?" responded Featherweight.

"YEAH! We figured out that the blackened is probably someone who's been to the room where I kept my unwanted prizes," said Bulk.

"I see. As a matter of fact, our group found out which ponies had prizes from that room," said Zihiri. "As far as we can tell, the list includes Button Mash, Derpy Hooves, Frostbite, Sunset, Yoyo Yolo, and myself, plus Bulk obviously knew that room inside and out. It's not perfect, but it's something. At the very least, we can improve our odds from one in fifteen to one in seven if we have to guess."

"Guessing... yeah, the blackened would really like that I bet," Featherweight griped.

"It won't come to that. Everypony calm down and we can get through this," said Sunset. "Whoever betrayed us will be found out, I swear. They're the only one who's going to die today."

"That's the spirit, ponies!" said Monokuma, still on the intercom. "You just gotta be positive! That goes double for you, Miss 'Ultimate Hope!' You're supposed a symbol of perseverance and optimism, but you're shaking in your horseshoes! Shape up! Do you want the blackened to win?"

She just shook more, tears falling from her eyes.

"It's okay, Ditzy. Just ignore him," True Heart said, hugging her tightly. "We can do this."

She hugged back, crying freely now.

As the elevator began descending to the school's basement, Rook took the moment to say one last pre-trial poem.

"And so the curtain on our final day closes.

A deadly judgment,

A deadly deception,

A deadly betrayal,

A deadly riddle,

A deadly defe-"

Sunset swatted him. "Will you just shut up?"

First Final Exam!

The elevator opened up, revealing a large, circular room with formal looking wooden walls (though on closer inspection, it was clear that they were nothing but fancy wallpaper.) Sixteen podiums were arranged in a circle in the middle. To the left was a large door with a giant TV screen over it, and an identical screen stood on the far right. On the far side of the room, there was a throne which Monokuma was already sitting on in proud anticipation. "So, how do you like my courtroom? Pretty classy, huh? Don't spend too long gawking though, we have a lot of evidence to cover, I'm sure! Find your place and get ready!"

The students made their way around the podiums until they each found one that had their name inscribed on it. Closest to the entrance was one labeled  "Derpy Hooves," and going clockwise from there were podiums for Vinyl Scratch, True Heart, Bulk Biceps, Click Clack, Sunset Shimmer, Snowdrop, Featherweight, Frostbite (Monokuma's throne was just behind him), Zihiri, Yoyo Yolo, Octavia, Rook, Button Mash, Lyra, and Soarin. Notably, Click Clack's place was already occupied by a metal stand topped with a grayscale portrait of Click that had been marked over with an X drawn in blood.

"Any particular reason for that... thing?" Sunset gestured with distaste at the effigy next to her. Bulk was noticeably keeping as far as he could from it, to the point where he was starting to edge into True Heart's personal space.

"Oh, that?" said Monokuma. "It's out of respect for the dead of course! Just because he's gone doesn't mean he shouldn't be represented as participants in our school life of mutual killing! I already made one for each of you. Anypony wanna see theirs?" He held up two unbloodied portraits of Button and Vinyl, causing the real Button to let out a nervous whine.

"I think that's quite enough of that. Death has already taken one and will soon take another, or, more likely, fourteen. Let us keep such things from our minds for now and think toward our of salvation, impossible as the odds may be..." said Rook.

Yoyo bounced in excitement. "Yeah! The trial's the main event here! Let's quit all this mopey-deathy stuff and start the thing that everypony came for!"

Monokuma nodded. "Yes, I think that if Click Clack were alive he would say the same, probably with one of his signature strikethrough jokes. Poor guy, at first I thought he'd just Marty Stu his way to freedom and turn into an alicorn or something... on second thought, thank Celestia he's dead! Anyway, to start, let's review the rules of the class trial: You students have to use the evidence you've already found, plus your own innate powers of persuasion and deduction, to figure out who it was that killed the victim. Once you think you've figured it all out, we can start voting. There's a dial with your names written around it on each of your desks just for that purpose. Snowblind gets Braille, of course. Point it to the pony, griffon, or zebra that did it, and if the majority of you vote correctly, I'll execute the blackened! However, if the blackened manages to trick you all and turn the blame to somepony else, I'll have to let them go and punish the innocent students in their place! Any questions?"

"Actually I have one," said Frostbite, an eyebrow raised. "Monokuma, I was wondering... you doin' anything after the trial?"

"What!?" "Are you serious?" "Now's not the time!" "He's a fricking ROBOT TEDDY BEAR!" "YEAH!" The others burst out in shock.

"What? I've tried almost everyone else already," Frostbite pointed out.

Monokuma blushed and fanned himself. "Um... I... uh... gee, does anypony else think it's getting stuffy in here? Anyway, it's time to get on with the trail! Now begin!"

Octavia took a deep breath and started. "Alright. I suppose the first thing we should do is review how exactly Click Clack was killed, just to make sure we're all on the same page."

"Fair enough," said Sunset. "Obviously, the culprit went into the voting booth when nopony was looking, then set up a trap made from some of the Monomono Machine prizes that Bulk piled up in that classroom."

True Heart nodded. "After that, it was only a matter of time until somepony set it off, and Click just had the bad luck to be that pony. When he opened the door, it dropped a bowling ball on his head, killing him instantly."

"YEAH!" added Bulk.

"No, that's wrong." Rook said, drawing all attention to him.

"Aww, I wanted to be Makoto first..." Button moaned.

Rook ignored him. "You forgot about where the body was. If he died instantly, like you said, his body would have still been in the voting booth. Actually, he was laying just outside the voting booth. Clearly, it wasn't instant. He attempted to walk away in desperate search of aid that was not there, only to succumb as his precious lifeblood fled from his wound, and he died in agony and despair..." said Rook.

"YEAH! That fits even better!" Bulk agreed.

"Thank you for punctuating me in such an appropriately eloquent fashion..." sighed Rook.

"So he took a few extra steps. How does that matter?" Soarin asked.

"It doesn't, but we need to get into the habit of spotting those kinds of inconsistencies," said Featherweight. "Holes in a story like that are exactly the kind of thing that'll reveal the culprit. Speaking of which, now that we've straightened out how Click Clack died, I think we should clarify our prime suspects, too."

"Oh yes. Who did you say they were again?" Octavia asked.

"The suspect knew that there were items they could use for the trap in the classroom that Bulk filled with Monomono Machine prizes, so it's most likely that they had been in that room at some point. The only ponies we know of who took anything from that room were Frostbite, Button Mash, Yoyo, Sunset, Derpy, and Zihiri. Any one of them or Bulk could be the killer. Frankly, my money's on Little Miss Keeps-To-Herself. She's been acting suspicious since we got here, and any time I try to investigate what she's doing, she throws magic zebra stuff in my face."

"So I'm an introvert. What of it?" Zihiri shot back. "If I am guilty, let us see you prove it!"

"Hey, hey, settle down, you two," said Octavia. "We'll figure it out, I'm sure. Featherweight, she's right, we can't go into this with any bias."

"Maybe we should try narrowing it down some more," said Vinyl. "We have the time of death, but that's not the only time that's important here. If we can figure out when the trap was set up, that might help a little.

"I can answer that," True Heart spoke up. "Ditzy Doo and I both voted late last night. Since we're both obviously still here, the trap wasn't set up until after that."

"YEAH! I get it!" said Bulk. "That means the culprit set the trap on the night just before the murder!"

"Ah, yes," said Zihiri. "However, that alone doesn't prove anything. All of us had plenty of time at night. If anything, it casts doubt on True Heart and Derpy Hooves, who were the last ones awake."

"No, no!" Derpy yelped. "It couldn't have been either of us! I swear!"

"Well, that was a fast answer. Do you have any proof?" Featherweight asked.

"Of course we do. Both of us were with each other until we went to bed," said True Heart, smiling.

"In the same room?" asked Frostbite.

"What? No!" yelled True Heart. "Is that the only thing you can think about?"

"If you weren't sharing a room, then there's nothing to say that one of you didn't just wait five minutes and walk back out to set up the trap without the other one knowing. See? I was going somewhere with that."

"Wha-huh?" True was completely caught off guard.

"Hey! That's just a guess, it could have easily been anyone else, like True Heart said!" said Derpy.

"Maybe. I'm certainly not going to assume it was you, but you raised a few red flags," said Octavia.

"Oh!" Lyra said nervously. "Um, Sunset, I just realized something... about the thing?"

Sunset sighed reluctantly. "I suppose there's no point in hiding it longer. When I was investigating the crime scene, I found something that I believed revealed the killer. I hid it, intending to see how far we could make it in the investigation without it. It seems we did well enough. I think this will prove what we've found so far."

She reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a small grey feather.

"N-no..." its owner said, "th-that's wrong..."

"I'm afraid not, Derpy." All eyes moved between the grey mare and the feather in Sunset's hoof that matched her plumage so perfectly. "I found this stuck to the tape used in the trap. At first I had assumed you were the killer, but now that I think about it, given the amount of time you're spending with True Heart, perhaps he took it from you and planted it."

Derpy opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She started shaking uncontrollably, and tears began leaking down her cheeks.

"Wait, somepony else could have planted it just as easily!" yelled True Heart. "For all we know, you did it!"

"I have Lyra to back me up. She was right there when I found it, though I told her not to say anything, again so that Derpy would have the chance to listen to her conscience."

"The secret was really burning on my lips during the whole investigation," said Lyra.

"That doesn't matter! Anypony can find a lost feather and plant it at a crime scene!" True Heart insisted.

"Well, that's true," said Soarin. "And normally I would totally agree with you, but if she's innocent, why are you having to defend her?" He pointed to Derpy, who was sobbing and looked ready to throw up. "Just look at her! I know a nervous pony when I see one, and she is completely broken down. If she was innocent, I think she'd be more eager to stand up for herself! For me, that's what really clinches this. I don't want to admit it, but her reaction makes it clear to me that she's been having to suppress some serious guilt for this whole trial. Now that she got caught, the stress is too much for her."

"I... I know it wasn't her," said True Heart. "I can tell! It's my special talent!"

"Stargazing?" Vinlyl asked.

"No, not that. My cutie mark talent and the Ultimate talent Monokuma gave me are different."

Monokuma spoke up, "He's right, you know. I didn't go by your cutie marks every time. Just look at Lyra for another example. Which do you think was more fun for me to use: Ultimate Harpist, or Ultimate Lunatic Imaginary Beast Chaser?"

"My title is Cryptozoologist..." said Lyra.

"That's right," True Heart continued. "My special talent isn't stargazing, it's more like reading ponies' intentions. Basically, I'm a great judge of character. Ditzy is one of the nicest mares I've ever met. She could never kill anypony, I just know it! And then there's you, Sunset..."

"Me?" Sunset raised an eyebrow.

"You act nice to make ponies trust you, but I see right through that! From the beginning you wanted us to listen to you, right? Then Lyra suggests electing a leader, and Frostbite randomly selects you, both seemingly independently, but they've both been hanging out with you quite a bit, haven't they?"

Lyra blushed and Frostbite swallowed nervously.

"You put them both up to it, didn't you?" True reasoned. "You're nothing but a manipulator! In fact, I think if anyone planted that feather, it was you!"

Sunset looked surprised, but was quick to brush off the accusation. "Poor deluded True Heart, pointing fingers to save your friend. Look, even if I did try to make a power grab with this whole presidency thing, why would I go to all that trouble if I was just going to try and escape anyway? And before you go recklessly accusing ponies some more, think about it: is Derpy really worth saving? She was going to let you die along with the rest of us. She doesn't care about you. She doesn't care about anyone but herself."

"Hey, hey, whoa now," Vinyl said. "We need to slow down here a little, you know? All our lives are on the line here, so the last thing we wanna do here is rush things. I'll admit, I'm with Soarin about how guilty she looks, but we have plenty of time to review the case more. I'm sure that if anypony else is the killer, then it'll come out. If we absolutely can't make any progress, then we'll vote for her. Sound like a plan?"

"Finally, somepony makes sense..." said True Heart.

"Actually, that won't be necessary..." Derpy immediately had everypony's attention. "I really do care about you, all of you. I didn't want anypony to die, I just... I had no choice!"

True Heart went white. "Ditzy, what are you..."

"Thank you for standing up for me, True Heart, but I have to do this myself now. It's true. I killed Click Clack, but..." her eyes started tearing up again. "If any of you were a mother, you would have done the same thing!"

"A mother?" Lyra asked.

"But there's no way you're older than eighteen..." said Button Mash.

"Yeah, sexually active teenagers, how unthinkable," Frostbite said, rolling his eyes. "Shut up and let her talk."

Derpy nodded to Frostbite and continued. "I know, I'm a teen mom. It's not something I'm proud of, but I am proud of my daughter, Dinky. She means everything to me. Monokuma's DVD showed her all alone and cold and starving." She got choked up as she spoke. "It said she didn't have much time... that's why I did it. I did it all to save her. And... I know I have no right to ask this, but please, let me go to her."

There were several gasps and shocked looks throughout the courtroom. "Go to her?" Vinyl asked. "But that would mean-"

"I know. I'm asking you to accuse the wrong pony and sacrifice yourselves for her," Derpy's tears began flowing more strongly. "Please, I'm not asking this for me, it's all for her!"

"Hmph," Sunset scoffed. " You really are desperate, aren't you?"

Filled with shame and sorrow, Derpy just nodded. "What else can I do? Please..."

"My gosh, this is low!" said Monokuma. "So this is all that Ultimate Hope has to offer us? A knife in the back and when that doesn't work, grasping at straws trying to appeal to your sense of selflessness?" He cackled. "How pathetic!"

"Hey, you have no right to say anything about this!" Soarin yelled at him. "What she did was wrong, no one's gonna question that, but so far you've done everything you could to make something like this happen!"

"He's right! As far as I'm concerned, you're the one who's really responsible here, not Derpy!" said Snowdrop.

"Oh really? Then maybe you'd like to give her plea some consideration?" Monokuma said with a smirk. He pressed a button on his throne and the TV screens on the sides of the room turned on, showing Derpy's motive DVD. At first it showed a happy infant unicorn foal with Derpy's color palate in the arms of an older pegasus mare, possibly Derpy's own mother. Then, predictably, it switched to a scene of the same filly in a dark concrete room, curled into a ball for warmth. The caption was 'How long can she stay like this? Let's hope she can outlast your conscience!' As the students stared up at the image, Derpy broke down once more.

"Don't try to scare us," growled Sunset. "We know that you faked those pictures!"

Monokuma clicked his tongue. "My dear Sunset, certainly you of all ponies know how hard it is to create fake photographs using magic. It's possible, sure, but only for ponies with a special talent for it. Look closer, let me zoom in for you. Do you see this resolution? Even you, whose talent is magic, can't pull off the degree of realism in these pictures, can you? Besides, even to fake these, one has to know what the photo's subjects look like the first place, which obviously means that I must have access to all of your friends and family anyway! Let's say I did fake them. I still know where your loved ones live, and let me tell you that I have no problem boosting my body count!"

He pressed another button, and the screens shifted to a video of a mare being chased down a hallway by a giant stone hoof until she found a hole in the wall to hide in, only for the hoof to stomp the wall down, spattering the ground with her blood.

The students screamed and gagged when they saw the execution. Most of them had never seen anything die, let alone a pony. Snowdrop alone was left in the dark, but for once she was happy for it.

"Does that look faked to you? I did that, and let me tell ya, I gained precisely jack-diddly-poop from doing it! It was purely for fun! So faked pictures or no, none of your families are safe! However... I have a point to make, so I'll cut you all a deal."

"Oh, this oughta be good," Vinyl said. She put on a brave face, but she was visibly sweating.

"I may be a kidnapper, a murderer, and even an unrepentant jaywalker, but I like to think that I am also beary generous! So if Derpy goes home today, I will personally free your loved ones, heal everything I've done to them, and even make sure they receive a proper compensation for your deaths. If you do vote for her, however, then one in ten of the ponies from your motives gets..." He ran a claw across his neck. "Ssssslit!"

"What? But that's not fair!" yelled Octavia. "You're putting us in a lose-lose situation!"

"Not really, when you think about it..." said Monokuma. "Do the math: each of you had only a few people in your motives. I'll make it easier for you and just tell you that there's about forty of them. Vote for Derpy's execution, and you lose four ponies. Most of you won't lose anyone. Heck, a couple of you only have one person, so you barely have anything to risk!"

The room filled with a silence. Just when they were feeling confident, Monokuma changed the rules to make things even more sadistic.

Snset gritted her teeth and stomped a hoof in anger. "Okay, I'll be the one to say it! I'm sorry, everyone, but it's clear that we have to vote for her. It's fourteen innocent ponies compared to five: looking at it that way, there's no contest!"

"But what about our families?" said Snowdrop. "I don't want to die either, but better me than my brother. If it's their safety we're worried about instead of our own, then I'd gladly give my life."

Monokuma laughed maniacally. "You know, it only requires a majority vote. Only eight of you, including Cross-Eyes herself, have to vote for a false culprit. What do you say, shall we commence with the voting?"

"Hey, I already said we can't rush this!" objected Vinyl, panicking. "I mean, don't forget, all of this is riding on Monokuma's word! I don't care what he promises or threatens, he can't be trusted!"

"That's right, I refuse to let him control me," agreed Zihiri flatly.

"Let's at least think about it though," said True Heart, half in shock. "I mean, I don't want to, but given the circumstances..."

"Not saying I'm committed to anything yet, but I'm not one to shy away from taking one for the team," added Frostbite. "The safety of my friends is my top priority."

"YEAH! Let's save our families! It's the honorable thing! You wanna live forever? Everypony just vote for Sunset or somethin'!" Bulk Biceps said.

"What? Why me? And are you all crazy?" Sunset practically screamed. "We can't just allow ourselves to die! Especially not for her! She actually deserves death!"

Yoyo started chewing her forehooves. "Yeah, and besides, death is the end, don't you realize that? No more partying, no more playing, not even breathing! Living is the most important thing!"

"I can think of a few things more important," Lyra said. "And saving our families is one of those things."

"As a Wonderbolt, I took an oath to save ponies... I don't know what to choose here, honestly..."

"If saving the most lives is out goal, we have no choice but to agree with Sunset," Featherweight said.

"YEAH! That's a good point too! Everypony vote for Derpy! Let's live forever!" Bulk flip-flopped.

"Hahaha! I knew it! You ponies are all out for number one when the chips are down!" Monokuma laughed.

"Alas, such a cruel choice," said Rook, clutching his head. "For so many to die for so few, or to live with innocent blood on our consciences. UGH! This is ungodly!"

Octavia started chewing on the end of her mane nervously. It was a habit she thought she'd outgrown years ago, but now she needed the stability of the ritual.

Then something about what Rook said resonated within her...

For many to die for few, or to live with innocent blood on our consciences.

To live with innocent blood on our consciences.

Innocent blood on our consciences.

Blood.

"Wait a second!" Octavia yelled, drawing everypony's gaze to her. "Everypony, drop this, we're making a horrible mistake! Derpy Hooves couldn't possibly be the killer!"

"What? Is everybody here retarded?" Sunset roared. "First  some of these idiots want to die and let her get off scot-free, now you're saying she didn't do it again? She already confessed!"

"I... I really did do it, Octavia," Derpy said, getting confused.

"Of course she confessed. She did set the trap with the full intention of killing somepony. Click Clack even died as a result of what she did. But none of that matters because when you look at the evidence, you realize that the trap didn't work!"

"W-what are you talking about?" Sunset shouted.

"I'm talking about how there's some very important pieces of evidence that we're all overlooking! We got so caught up in the feather and Derpy's confession that we missed the real clues!"

"Real clues? What's more real than a confession?" asked Button Mash.

"There's at least three that I can think of which were overlooked since this trial began. One of them was even something we figured out already, but didn't think was significant."

Featherweight pondered for a moment. "But the only thing we figured out and disregarded in this trial is... Click Clack's body?"

Octavia nodded. "That's right. He left the voting booth. Sure, him leaving the booth after that is possible, but I personally don't think it's very likely. Which leads us to the next clue, the so-called murder weapon."

"The bowling ball?" asked Button Mash. "What about it?"

"It was missing something. Something that it should have had if the trap was at all successful," she hinted.

"Wait a minute... there was almost no blood on it, was there?" Lyra realized. "Only a little bit where it was touching the puddle of it!"

Sunset thought back to what she saw, and the color drained from her face when she realized that Octavia was right. "How did I not see that?"

"Given the dead body in the room, I'd be surprised if any of us were at the top of our game. Besides, you saw what you thought was conclusive evidence early on, so you didn't pay much attention to anything else," Octavia pointed out.

"But how did an injury that big not leave any blood on the murder weapon?" Snowdrop asked.

"If you all take a look at the Monokuma file, I think you'll find the explanation." Octavia smiled as she saw the other students, even Derpy and Sunset, taking out their eHandbooks and looking over the file.

"That's it!" Soarin realized. "His shoulder! His shoulder was completely shattered, but it didn't bleed!"

"It must have just rolled off of his head and broke it that way," Sunset theorized, though she was clearly losing confidence in herself.

"I don't think so. Just rolling off his head to his shoulder probably wouldn't have caused that much damage, maybe a bruise or a sprain if it fell absolutely perfectly. The real clincher though is that the head injury and the broken shoulder are on opposite sides of the body," Octavia said. "There's no way it could have rolled like that."

"So I missed his head?" Derpy realized. The life left her expression as she realized that her entire escape attempt was all for nothing.

"That's right. Your trap didn't kill Click Clack, just wounded him," Octavia said.

"But you also said he walked out of the voting booth, how's that possible with his leg crippled?" countered Sunset.

"It's not as hard as you'd think," pointed out Button Mash. "I walk on three hooves all the time while I'm playing video games."

"Heck, I walk on two," added Lyra.

Octavia continued with her explanation. "Unfortunately there was another pony in the room at the time who saw what happened. In fact, they're probably who Click was walking towards. Instead of helping though, they realized that if they murdered Click Clack right then, whoever set the trap would end up taking the fall. It was an easy crime that even came with a built in red herring."

"That means if we'd kept believing it was Derpy, we would have gotten it wrong whether we let her go or not!" Soarin said. "So what does that mean for our families and friends?"

Monokuma burst into laughter. "I guess I can't hide it anymore! Since I said your families would be killed if you voted wrong, voting for Derpy would have killed them since it's an incorrect answer! Of course, since I upped the ante, if you want them to be safe you'll have to catch the real blackened! So, who's the real killer then?"

"I haven't figured that out just yet, but I think that this will be a downhill ride from here on," said Octavia. "For one thing, we can establish their location. They were in the room with Click Clack when he set the trap off."

"So that means they were lying in wait for someone to enter, then BAM! They hit him with a hammer or something once he went inside," Vinyl said. "All we need to do now is figure out who doesn't have an alibi for today. After all, they must have been waiting for a while, right?"

"Objection!" Button said. "There, now I got to do it, Phoenix Wright style! Well, anyway, they couldn't have been waiting in the gym, at least not for very long. I went into the gym at around eleven. I didn't actually get to the voting booth, cuz I decided to go to the bathroom and rethink my vote first. Still, I was in the gym long enough to be attacked, but I was fine."

As Button finished his testimony, he felt a couple suspicious glares at him.

"Huh? What's wrong?" Button asked. "I just shot down an incorrect argument. You're supposed to be agreeing and saying how much closer we're getting to solving the case."

Featherweight answered him. "Button, while your claim does make it less likely that Vinyl's theory is true, there's a certain aspect of it that we have to take into consideration."

"What's that?"

"You were in the gym at around Click's time of death, right? But you have nopony to back up your story. You just stepped onto some really shaky ground."

"YEAH!" said Bulk.

"Oh yeah, I guess that does make sens- wait WHAT!?" Button said, panicking. "But I didn't kill him, honest! I mean, what would I have even used as the murder weapon? Monokuma gave me those garrote controllers, remember?"

"That part doesn't really matter," said Yoyo. "I think those weapons were just moodsetters. As for the real weapon, you could have easily found something just lying around the school. Bat, broken desk leg, sledgehammer, it doesn't matter what breaks the piñata so long as candy comes out. He probably ditched it in the trash can in the bathroom after washing the blood off himself. Still, I wish we checked for it while we were in there, that'd prove that he did it for sure. How stupid of us!"

"We shouldn't assume it was him though," interrupted Rook. "Just look at what happened with Derpy, and we had concrete evidence against her. Even though his actions do seem unnatural, it's been established that he tends to act very oddly when video games are involved. Think, is there anything that casts doubt on him as the killer?"

Zihiri shrugged. "Well, let's look through it again. As the theory currently stands, the blackened waited for somepony to come vote, wielding a weapon of some kind. Most likely, he was waiting by the voting booth, as I recall, the front board had plenty of extra space to hide behind. When he heard Click leave the voting booth, he sprang into action and attacked. In a serendipitous twist, Derpy had already set up a failed trap, making her an easy scapegoat. Supposing that the culprit was button, after killing Click, he fled the scene to the bathroom, where he disposed of the weapon and washed away any blood on his person. Resting easy, he proceeded to let himself get distracted by his game. There is no evidence that does not fit this scenario."

"Wait, not so fast!" Soarin interjected.

"You've found something wrong?" Zihiri asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe. I just remembered something from my investigation, and I need to know one thing..." He turned to Sunset. "You use magic to open doors, right?"

Sunset looked at him like he was crazy. "What? Of course."

"Every single time?"

"Yeah..."

"Even when you and Lyra went to the bathroom to wash off the blood from the crime scene?"

"Yes! Seriously, why are you pushing something so minor?" she snapped.

"Because it's not minor, not at all. Did you notice the blood on the door when you opened it?"

"Huh? Blood?"

"Yeah, there was a bloody hoofprint on the mares' bathroom door. At the time I thought it was just one of yours, but then I remembered that Sunset likes to use magic, and Lyra walked on her hind legs anyway, so using a foreleg to open the door wouldn't have made a print at all!"

"I... hadn't noticed that... I wasn't paying much attention, I just reached out with TK and pushed," Sunset admitted.

"And I just followed her right inside without looking," said Lyra.

"Leaving the hoofprint unaccounted for," concluded Soarin. "Other than them, only the blackened would have been in contact with any blood. Obviously Button Mash wouldn't have touched the mare's bathroom door for no reason."

"So I'm off the hook? Woohoo!" Button cheered. "Thanks, Soarin, I owe ya one!"

"What if he did it to throw us off the trail?" suggested Featherweight.

"Not likely. He had plenty of time to point it out during the investigation if it was part of his plan," said Snowdrop.

"And that means a mare is the culprit too, right?" said Yoyo. "She must be a real idiot to have actually used a bloody hoof to open the door! That settles it: the culprit is whoever's the dumbest mare in this room!"

Vinyl was about to say something, but decided to hold her tongue.

"Actually, I wouldn't rule out a stallion yet," said Soarin. "Think about it. If Button's telling the truth, then he was in the bathroom at the time of the murder, with his game's music on full blast. No killer would have gone in there knowing someone might see him."

Snowdrop smiled. "I get it. Hearing his game scared them, so they went to the girls' bathroom instead. In fact, the doors here are pretty thick, so they may not have even heard the music until they opened it. If that's the case, the music probably startled them, and in their haste they accidentally used their bloody hoof to open the mares' door instead of a clean one."

"Just what I was thinking, girl! My money's on it being a guy," Soarin said.

"Oh! That makes sense," said Yoyo. "Still, he mustn't be that smart to have done that."

"I don't think he thought through this murder very much," said True Heart. "In fact, I don't think it was planned at all. Soarin, how complete was that hoofprint?"

"I could make out the whole hoof," said Soarin.

"Not something you'd find on someone who thought to bring a murder weapon, am I right?" True Heart said. "I think that Click Clack and the culprit just happened to be going to vote together. Click went into the booth first, and set off the trap. The culprit just saw an opportunity and went for it. Every piece of evidence we've found points to an entirely unplanned murder!"

"That's correct," said Rook. "And if that's true, then the culprit could only have been someone who hadn't voted yet. A good many of us voted before the morning of Click's demise, sometimes in groups," said Rook. "We just need to figure out who does and doesn't have an alibi. I don't I'm afraid, but thankfully, my talons instead of hooves prove my innocence."

"That's right. Now, who else here voted already? And don't say anything unless you have evidence or a witness to confirm it," Octavia said.

"Me and Derpy voted together, like we said" said True Heart. Derpy was still locked in a daze.

"I voted with Sunset," answered Lyra.

"And I went with Soarin," said Snowdrop.

Button spoke up, "I don't have any witnesses, but I was the one who was playing video games and made the blackened leave the stallion's bathroom. Does that count?"

"I suppose so," said Octavia, "and if you don't mind me protecting myself, I think it's safe to say that if I was the blackened I would have simply let you all vote for Derpy."

"That's fair," agreed Sunset reluctantly

"So the only suspects left are Featherweight, Zihiri, Vinyl Scratch, Frostbite, Bulk Biceps, and Yoyo Yolo. From Soarin's deductions, it was most likely one of the boys," observed Snowdrop.

"No, not 'most likely,' 'definitely,'" said Frostbite. "Think about the way the body was positioned."

"What about it?" asked Octavia.

"He was on his side. If you were gonna stomp someone's head in how would you do it?"

Zihiri tilted her head back in thought. " To get an injury on the top of his head, I suppose I would have to get him on the ground, then stomp repeatedly until I broke through to his brain, which I would then stomp into a thin paste. Of course, the temples tend to cave in easier if I was going to do that."

Even Monokuma's jaw was on the ground after that.

"What?" she said. "You wanted to know how I would do it."

"Can we just say she did it?" asked Featherweight.

"YEAH! She's totally nuts!" said Bulk.

"Actually, as nuts as that is, she proved the point I was going to make," said Frostbite. "See, I know a thing or two about fighting, and Earth Ponies and Unicorns would have to pull him to the ground, onto his belly. If one of them did it, how would he have fallen onto his side? Only one of us pegasi could have left him like that by flying above him and smashing his head while he was standing. No offense, Featherweight, but a sexy, er, I mean skinny guy like you could never have done that in just one hit. Not that I don't think you're sexy..." he moved next to Featherweight and put a wing around him. "You're very sexy..."

Featherweight pushed him aside. "Thanks, but honestly I'm more happy about you finding me innocent."

Vinyl interjected "Wait... But that means the only two possible suspects are..."

"That's right, me and Bulk Biceps!" said Frostbite, pointing to Bulk, who was suddenly looking very nervous. "And between us, who looks like they could hit harder?"

Bulk cringed and froze up. The air in the room seemed to get colder, matching the glares that all of the ponies were aiming at him.

"B-Bulk? It was you?" asked Button Mash, aghast.

"Yahoo! Frostsmitten caught him! That's my bedtime-buddy!" cheered Yoyo.

"Uh..." Bulk said, shuddering.

"You're being awfully quiet, Bulk," said Snowdrop suspiciously. "In fact, you've been quiet for most of the trial except for agreeing to others' ideas. Come to think of it, I don't think you ever once agreed to one that was on the right track. If we'd agreed with you any time you said 'yeah' we would have never gotten this far."

"You jerk! You were trying to push us in the wrong direction!" accused Vinyl.

"Uh... Uh... I... wait, you just said how you could have done it too!" Bulk finally shouted once he had a second or two to think it over.

Frostbite just put on a smug face. "True, but like Octavia said, why would the blackened say anything to help solve the murder?"

Bulk started sweating. "N-no! I didn't do it, I... I... wait..." a grin stretched across Bulk's face. "I couldn't have done it the way you said. I hurt my wing, I can barely get off the ground!"

"What?" Frostbite asked, his eyes widening.

"Hey, that's right!" said Zihiri. "No one else was there for it, but I've seen Bulk fly, if you could call it flight at all."

"B-but... I just said I helped get you here!" repeated Frostbite. "Why would I say something that could implicate myself if I actually did it! I mean that's why we ruled out Octavia!"

"True, but that's just it, helping the case got me declared innocent," Octavia pointed out. "If you felt the noose tightening, then maybe you decided that you'd solve the case completely, only replacing your role with that of the only other pony who you thought might have used your method."

All the blood drained from Frostbite's face. "N-no! Even though I wanna leave, I would never murder a pony to do it! And even if I would sink that low, there's so much I still need to do here first!"

"Stuff you need to do? Like what?" Button asked.

"Everyone in this room, of course!" Frostbite shouted without a hint of humor. "I swear! I didn't kill him! I must have just guessed the method wrong or something! Please, there must have been another way!"

"There is no other way. The method you described fits perfectly," said Sunset, "and the reason it's that perfect is because you were the one to carry it out."

"What? Now you did it!?" said Yoyo. "I can't believe it! What kind of world is this where a pony would go all the way with you after one conversation but not tell you that he's a murderer?"

"Frostbite, how could you?" said Lyra, standing on her hind legs and slamming her forehooves on her podium. "I thought you were our friend!"

Frostbite was getting more and more distressed by the second. "I am your friend, Lyra! I-" suddenly he stopped. "Wait... Lyra, what are you doing right now?"

"What am I doing? I'm standing, duh!"

Immediately Frostbite calmed down. "I see... I really was wrong about how you did it, Bulk." He flew over to the musclebound pony, the size difference between them becoming apparent as they stared each other down. "Put me in a headlock."

"What?" Bulk asked.

"You heard me. Get on your hind legs and put me in a headlock. Show the good students of this court how you're more than capable of holding a pony with one foreleg and smashing his skull with the other. Certainly you're big enough to do that to a pony of average size, like me or Click Clack."

"I... I didn't do it, you bitch!" Bulk shouted, shoving him away.

"Hey, unless you have impure intentions, keep your hooves off me!" Frostbite said indignantly.

"I'll do whatever I want, you murdering STI factory!"

""I'm not a murderer, you flightless glorified forklift!"

The two began firing insults and accusations back and forth at each other as everypony stared between them, now unsure of who to believe.

"I guess I jumped the gun accusing Frostsmitten," admitted Yoyo. "But even right now I can't tell who's right, him or Mr. Muscles (that's my nickname for him, 'cuz of his muscles)."

"I know. I really don't want it to be either one, but I guess we all knew it would come down to something like this," said Soarin.

"We just need a little more evidence, then I'm sure we can nail whichever one it is," said Featherweight.

Rook shrugged glumly. "Perhaps, but what? We've gone over everything, and nothing can get us further than this. Perhaps we should just flip a coin. 50/50 is a hell of a lot better than what we went in with..."

"You've got that wrong."

Everyone turned to Derpy Hooves, who had been almost motionlessly watching the trial in shamed silence since she was cleared as a suspect.

"There's one other thing about how Click fell that sticks out to me," she said. "He was lying on his right side, the side with the wound. If he was standing and hit from the right, especially while his left leg was broken, then it's more natural for him to have fallen on his left side. However, if he was held and then dropped or pushed away, there's any number of ways he could have fallen. That's just an inference, but apart from that, I just noticed that Bulk's hooves are tiny for a stallion. If Soarin remembers the hoofprint on the door, we can see which one matches it."

"Now that you mention it, I do remember it being on the small side. There was a reason I thought it was a mare's," Soarin said. "Why don't we just check everypony's?"

"Alright!" said Frostbite, the first to thrust his foot out. "I've always been rather proud of my huge hooves, wink wink." Indeed, Soarin could tell immediately it wasn't him.

Bulk, however, didn't have such confidence. "Uh... uh..."

"Back to that again? Yup, he's the one, I'm sure of it," said Sunset.

After each pony showed Soarin their hoof, it was clear that the only ponies with exceptionally small hooves were Featherweight and Bulk Biceps, and the former was acting a lot less suspicious. At last, Monokuma himself spoke up, looking fairly satisfied. "Well, well, well! It looks like you've reached a conclusion! Better get to voting then!"

"What? No! We can't yet! They think it's me!" Bulk objected.

"It's too late! This trial was running long anyway. Everypony, time to vote!" the bear ordered.

Everypony returned to their podiums where each pony, some more reluctantly than other, cast their votes. The last one to choose was Bulk, who finally just closed his eyes and picked.

Monokuma stood up on his throne and bounced with excitement. "You're right! The blackened was Bulk Biceps! Congratulations, you solved the easy tutorial murder! 'Course, we could have skipped a lot of this nonsense if one of you idiots had bothered to examine the wound on the body and seen that it was hoof shaped! Seriously, it's kindergarten level forensics! Nonetheless, you eventually figured it out. Bulk was chosen unanimously. He even voted for himself!"

"He did?" asked Octavia.

"Yeah..." Bulk admitted, a few tears escaping "I know it doesn't make up for anything, but wanted the last thing I did to be honest..."

"I see. Why'd you do it, anyway?" Octavia's voice didn't carry any anger at him. In fact, she seemed a bit sad. Nopony in the room was really looking forward to what Monokuma had promised if they caught the culprit.

He could barely look her in the eyes. "It was my mom..." he said. "Me and her live alone together, and I'm all she has. She has a heart condition, and she gets worried when I come home late by one hour, for me to just disappear, I don't know if she could even survive that. Even then, I'm surprised I actually did what I did. When I saw Click get hit by that trap, I acted without thinking, and after that there was nothing to do but try to hide it. I just wanted to get out of here and see my mother, just like Derpy and her daughter. None of that really matters though. All I can do is say that I'm sorry, and I hope you guys get out of here soon. Just don't let Monokuma get to you like I did."

"We won't," promised Snowdrop. "For what it's worth, I think it was good of you to come clean in the end." Several other ponies nodded in agreement. The lack of a 'YEAH' in the crowd was noticeable.

"Is that it?" Monokuma interrupted. "I go out of my way to give you a moment for 'last words/sympathy for the devil' stuff, and you only got one paragraph? How inconsiderate of you. Ah well, I guess this is Bulk Biceps we're talkin' about here. Now if that's done, I've got a special execution planned for the Ultimate Bodybuilder! It's punishment time!"

Ignoring the objections of several students, he took out a small gavel and used it to hit a big red button in front of his throne. The TV screens showed an 8-bit animation of Bulk being dragged off by Monokuma with the caption "Game Over. Bulk Biceps has been found guilty. Commencing execution."

Suddenly, the doors on the left side of the room opened up, and a metal claw on a cord flew out, clasping around Bulk's neck. When it started retracting, Bulk shouted in fear and grabbed for dear life to his podium. Bulk was more than strong enough to resist it; the podium, however, soon splintered in his hooves. The claw yanked him struggling and screaming down a long hallway as the screens showed a title card, followed by a live feed of the execution.

***Die Striker***

Somehow, Bulk had been taken to some kind of carnival scene, with several Monokumas walking about, some playing the part of random carnival patrons, others acting as carnies. At the center of it all was a gigantic strength tester game. It was so tall that it extended right off the screen, and the lever that the player was supposed to hit was the size of a see-saw. What stood out most though, was the metal cylinder that was meant to ring the bell: Bulk Biceps had been strapped to it, so that it would smash him into the bell headfirst.

As he struggled against his restraints, a small Monokuma dressed as a little girl approached the game. Bulk looked in fear at the little robot, knowing that whatever it planned on doing, he wasn't going to like it.

The Monokuma girl stepped up to the lever and pulled out a tiny toy hammer. She raised it high above her head and brought it down... the lever barely moved. She tried again and again, but nothing. Finally, she threw the little hammer away, reached behind her back, and out of nowhere pulled out an enormous hammer with a head easily the size of a carriage. She leapt into the air with unnatural strength, and brought the hammer down with earthshattering power.

In an instant Bulk shot upward. The camera shifted to the bell, which was actually on fire and covered in spikes. Hitting it would not be pretty...

CRACK!

Bulk hit with such force that the bell and the entire top of the game actually snapped off, sending the hapless bodybuilder further and further upward. Finally, just when it looked like he'd continue off into space, he slowed, and fell back, plummeting headfirst. He was so high up that as he fell he actually caught fire passing through the atmosphere. Despite the heat, when he neared the ground he was able to look down where he was about to land, and he could see that somehow the bell had landed directly under him. He closed his eyes, scowling at Monokuma's cruel attempt at irony, his impending death, the whole killing game situation... but mostly at himself for completely deserving his punishment.

Ding!

*** *** ***

The students looked on in horror at the gory result of the impact. Seeing the video of that other mare's execution was bad enough, but Bulk was different. Not only was it someone they knew, but they themselves had been the ones to sentence him to death. Even under coercion, it wasn't an easy thing to cope with doing.

"Hot damn, that was awesome!" shouted Monokuma. "Is anyone else feeling totally pumped up after that? I feel like I could run a marathon! Wrestle a manticore! Tear a pony in half with my bare bear claws!"

"That was awful! I've never seen anything so horrible!" said True Heart.

"Really? That's odd. I would think you'd enjoy seeing justice in action. Law and order, baby! Speaking of which... It's getting rather late in the day, isn't it? You guys are supposed to finish voting for class president, aren't you?" Monokuma reminded.

"Class president? How could you think about something so trivial? Two ponies died today!" yelled Octavia.

"Well your situation will get much worse than that if you ponies don't vote!" Monokuma chided. "The rules clearly state that each student must vote for president, and right now there quite a few votes unaccounted for. In fact, we're technically past the deadline: it's already 10:15! I should be punishing the ones who put it off!"

"What? But- but the trial! I didn't get the chance!" said Vinyl.

"Relax, relax. I won't punish you for the trial running late. Do you think I have a heart of stone?"

"Well... kinda."

"You've already lost two classmates, and much more than two or three at a time would make our little game go too fast. Even four is too much, and five is right out. So I'll tell you what: we're just gonna ignore the ballot box in the gym and all vote again right here. Use your dials, like we just did in the trial."

"Can we change our votes if we went earlier?" asked Yoyo.

Monokuma shrugged. "I don't see why not. It's not like I could tell what your previous votes were. The cameras couldn't pick that up."

"Wait, what?" yelled Sunset. "Why would you want to change it? You voted for me!"

"Well, yeah, but that was before you almost made us all die," Yoyo said casually, "and then Octavia saved us from your wrongitude."

"Yeah, that is a good point. I'm going Octavia too," said Button.

Rook nodded. "As am I. She maintained her composure much better than Sunset, and I would much prefer that in a leader. It's what sets the Celestias apart from Nightmare Moons."

"Why you little-!" Sunset seethed.

"See, right there. Such a sea of rage within her would most certainly spill out and drown us all."

"No, no, no, no, no!" Sunset got angrier by the second. Even Lyra and Frostbite were looking a bit creeped out.

Vinyl cringed. "Sheesh. See, what'd I tell you, Octi? You're made for this. You can keep yourself under control."

"I suppose I can't argue with that," Octavia agreed.

Everypony reached for their dials and voted. It only took Monokuma a second or two to tally up the votes.

"We have a winner!" Monokuma shouted. "In a landslide victory of 11 to 3 votes, your new Class President is... Octavia Melody! Congratulations! Now get the hell out of my courtroom, I wanna go to bed." Without a word more, he vanished.

As they began leaving, Sunset approached Octavia. "So, Ms. President, you won. What are you going to do about her?" She pointed to Derpy, who hadn't left her podium. "She's a murderer, successful or not. I assume you'll be punishing her, right?"

Octavia sighed. She just wanted to go to bed and pretend this day never happened. "I suppose we'll have to keep a closer watch on her, but we can figure out the specifics in the morning. As for tonight, I say she shouldn't be allowed to leave her room at least, if only we could seal her door somehow..."

"I have a spell that can do that," said Sunset. "I can turn doors into walls, then I'll change it back again tomorrow."

"That will work, thank you. By the way... there's no hard feelings about you losing, right?"

"No, not if you do things right," Sunset said in a very unconvincing manner. She turned to Derpy. "Come on, let's get you locked up, where you belong."

True Heart interrupted, "Wait, can I talk to her first? There's something I have to say."

"Go ahead," said Octavia.

Derpy looked up at True Heart nervously. "Do you hate me for what I did?"

He shook his head. "Derpy, even though there's no way to excuse what you did, hating you is only going to make the situation worse. I still think you're a good pony deep down, and I'm willing to forgive you, even if nopony else does."

"Thank you," she said, though without conviction. "Still, some kind of 'Ultimate Hope' I turned out to be..."

"Well, if you ask me it sounds like Monokuma was just setting you up to break you down. After all, you probably got the hardest motive to deal with."

"I guess so. Ultimate Hope being the first to fall into despair was probably just what he wanted, so he picked someone weak like me."

"I wouldn't say you were weak, exactly. It's more like you were hoping for the wrong thing."

She gave him a curious look.

"Ditzy, I know that you're worried about your daughter, and I completely understand why you felt like you had to do it, but our goal should be something different. You were hoping to get away at the class trial, but that's a hope that only you could get behind. Instead, we should all be hoping that we get out of here safely, and that our families will be safe when we do. If me and you and everypony else can cling to that hope, and I promise you everything will be fine."

"Thank you... I'll try." She nuzzled him, then went off with Sunset and Octavia, the latter of the two looking back appreciatively at True Heart.

Still, despite True Heart's brief look on the bright side, nothing could truly alleviate the shadow of death that hung over them and everyone else in Hope's Peak. Regardless of her intentions, Derpy had indirectly brought an end to two ponies' lives. The only comfort the ponies had was the idea that they would escape before something like this happened again.

Somehow, they knew it was a hope in vain. Indeed, it would turn out that the first trial was just that: the first.

Remaining Students

14

BONUS EXECUTION #1

"Congratulations! The murderer of Bulk Biceps was Click Clack!" Monokuma cheered.

"But this isn't right! I'm not supposed to get caught!" Click shouted. "I'm the Author Insert! I'm supposed to be OP and you all side with me no matter what kind of BS I pull!"

"Up to but not including murder, it seems," Sunset said. "So anyway, why'd you do it? Any particular reason aside from your family?"

Click looked at the floor angrily. "I wanted to escape so I could put more work into my writing. I mean I keep putting off the next Wild Wasteland chapter, and I just got an idea for a funny short story about Pipsqueak being a secret agent that I think could really win me some watchers. If I won the game, I could end this fic and go back to work on those. So I picked the most vulnerable person I could as a target for murder: a professional athlete who was several times stronger than- AH!" Before he could say anything else, a small dart pegged him right in the eye, breaking his glasses.

"Joke thief!" Monokuma yelled. "Anyway, if you're done with that, I've got a special execution planned for the Ultimate Author! Let's give it everything we've got, it's punishment time!"

"No! No! Bullshit! Lemmie rewrite this or something, I don't like the way this chapter turned out! Please! No!" But despite his begging, a metal claw shot out of the door on the left and wrapped around Click's neck, pulling him out of the room and into his execution chamber...

***The Final Draft***

Click looked around, panic-stricken. He wasn't able to move anything other than his eyes, as even his head was clamped in place. He was strapped to what appeared to be some kind of giant pencil, with his own horn replacing the tip. The camera panned out to reveal that the setting of his execution resembled some kind of gigantic desk in someone's study.

A gigantic Monokuma appeared and sat down at the desk. He set down a giant piece of paper and reached for the Click-Pencil, dramatically raising him to the sky before  slamming him horn-first on the paper.

CRACK!

The tip of Click's horn immediately snapped, blood spurting from it onto the paper like ink. Monokuma ignored his screams and continued to grind him against the paper. He kept writing, scribbling, even just slamming Click on it to draw out more blood. The pencil was moving so fast that the horrified students couldn't even see Click's body. The screams soon stopped, but the blood came out more and more. Soon the pencil was moving so fast that smoke was coming out of it.

Finally, Monokuma was done, and allowed the pencil to roll to the side. The pencil itself was ground to a stub, and all that was left of Click Clack was a pair of smoking, bloody hooves. The camera moved from Click's corpse to the paper, showing the grisly fruits of Monokuma's labor...

Calling Attendance

"Let me go! P-please! Let me go!" Shoeshine screamed, struggling against the metal claw that was uncomfortably pressing her forelegs against her body.

"Aw, quit your whining!" the headmaster quipped in a squeaky, almost cute voice. "I just have one more test you need to help me with, and then it's all done!"

"You're insane! You sadistic psycho freak!"

The headmaster just chuckled as he approached a bright red button and tapped it with a gavel. "Let the execution begin!"

***Starting Off on the Right Hoof***

The claw roughly threw Shoeshine away and she landed in a long, dark hallway. She looked around, terrified, until she saw some bright lights flip on in the distance, revealing a giant stone sculpture of a hoof. She stood in horror for a few moments as she watched it lifted into the air on a piston. It moved forward a few yards, then crashed down hard enough to shake the ground. When it rose again, Shoeshine was just barely able to regain her presence of mind and began running as fast as she could away from it.

BOOM

As adrenaline began to pump through her veins, she picked up even more speed than before.

BOOM

She saw a turn in the hallway and immediately darted around it.

BOOM

Even when she was galloping faster than she ever had before, the hoof was quickly catching up. It was only a matter of time until she was flattened... but then she saw it: a huge crack in one of the walls, just big enough for her to slip into. She poured all her energy into reaching that spot, then turned and dove in.

BOOM

She felt a slight tug as a few tail hairs were nicked under the titanic statue, but aside from that she was untouched.

BOOM

BOOM

BOOM

She allowed herself to relax a little as it moved past her, her muscles going as limp as her cramped space would allow. She may not have been out of the woods, but she'd bought herself some ti-

BOOM

The hiding place compressed around her as the hoof came down on the whole wall.

BOOM

She screamed in mortal fear as it stomped again and again, her own shelter now pinning her inside.

SPLRTCH

*** *** ***

The headmaster surveyed scene and smiled at the puddle of blood leaking out from the wreckage. He crossed off one last box on his checklist and remarked "Well, that's it then; it looks like the execution button works perfectly! All that's left is to bring everypony here! Now let's get things rolling!"

My Little Dangan Ronpa: Your Motive is Despair!

Soarin's eyes fluttered open for a brief moment before closing again. It wouldn't hurt to sleep in a little longer, though the awkward positioning from sleeping in this desk was making him sore.

"Wait, what?" Suddenly realizing he wasn't back home in his bed, he leapt up in shock, banging his head on an adjacent desk, tumbling to the floor, and kicking his own desk over.

"Where the heck am I?" He muttered as he got back to his hooves. He could tell it was a classroom, that much was obvious. What made less sense was the fact that he was the only pony there, and the windows were all covered with large metal plates held in place by enormous bolts of varying sizes. Whoever attached them didn't care for aesthetics, or if they did, then they were going for 'chaotic' over 'orderly.' There was also a camera on the ceiling. Normally that in itself wouldn't be too abnormal in a school, but most security cameras were small and discreet. This one was bold and obvious, like it was intentionally trying to give off a 'watching you forever' vibe.

Creepiest of all was the blackboard at the front of the room. It was covered in doodles, all of which depicted Soarin. Some showed just his cutie mark, others showed him flying through the sky in his Wonderbolts outfit, and at least one showed him... drenched in his own blood? Okay, now things were really getting disturbing. In the middle of all the doodles was a giant red mark which looked very vaguely like a skewed M. In front of the blackboard was a teacher's desk, atop which was a small electronic device, a set of saddlebags, a key, and a letter.

Soarin looked at the letter first, hoping it would have some answers. It appeared to be written in crayon, and bore only the message "Welcome to Hope's Peak Academy. A revolutionary new world awaits within these walls! Please report to the gym by 8:00 a.m. Don't forget your e-Handbook and room key!"

"Well, that's weird..." Soarin thought aloud. He picked up the device that he figured was the e-Handbook, and turned it on. The screen then showed the words "Soarin: Ultimate Flier." Further messing around with it showed him a map of the school and a clock which showed that it was 7:50 a.m. If he decided to play along with the gym meeting, he didn't have much time to explore the place. Oh well, whatever was at the gym was bound to shed some light on the situation. He collected everything into the saddlebags and left.

The hallway was lit with bizarre purple lights, which unnerved Soarin even more. It's like they were intentionally trying to be unnatural. He pulled out his ID Card again to recheck the map. If he was going to that gym, he wasn't going to waste any time. As he did so, however, he heard someone banging around in a nearby classroom, and a weak voice calling "help!"

His Wonderbolt training kicked in, and he threw the door open almost before his mind even registered what he was doing. "Hello? What's happening in here?"

Inside the room was only a young light blue pegasus mare, feeling about the walls and whimpering in fear. Other than the fact that she was probably scared of her unfamiliar surroundings though, she didn't appear in any danger. Her mane was white with blue streaks, and her cutie mark was a flower shaped like a snowflake. When she heard Soarin enter, she turned to face him and he realized why she had made so much noise. Her eyes were clouded to the point where they almost looked pure blue; she was blind. "Hello? Helping Hoof, is that you?"

"No, I'm Soarin, and before you assume I'm the guy who brought you here, I'm just as confused as you are."

"Oh... Okay. Where are we then? Have we been kidnapped or something?" She still clearly wasn't comfortable.

"I don't know. The place we're in looks like what you'd get if a school and a prison had a baby. I found a note in my room saying that they want us to meet in the school's gym in ten minutes, so I was gonna go there for answers, if nothing else."

"Could you please take me there too? I don't like asking for help, but I don't do well in unfamiliar places."

"Of course, just stick with me. Need help finding your way to me?"

"No, thank you. I can hear you just fine."

"Also, this room has a saddlebag and some other little things, right over here," he walked to the desk. "I'd take them if I were you."

She flew up over the desks and went to him, navigating surprisingly well. "What are these for?" she asked as she felt the items on the desk.

"That thing you just touched was called an e-Handbook. It's got all sorts of little features on it, but I'm not sure if you'll be able to really use it, considering... you know. Incidentally, what's your name?"

"I'm Snowdrop. If you're deeply involved in art or weather, you might have heard of me, if that helps."

"Sorry, I'm more of an athlete. A Wonderbolt in fact."

"A Wonderwhat?"

Soarin suppressed a groan. Sure, a blind mare probably wouldn't be too invested in the Wonderbolts' visual spectacle, but he figured she'd have at least heard of them. "Never mind. I'm a celebrity stunt-flier."

"Oh, that sounds amazing! I'm a little famous myself, like I said. I'm a sculptor, best known for small ice sculptures, like my snowflakes, but I can work with anything, at any size. I think part of my fame comes from the way my sense of touch compensates for my sight."

"Huh... that's pretty interesting. I heard somewhere that there are ponies who fly blind by listening to echoes or something. Can you do that?"

"I'm afraid not. Only batponies can do that, and even they aren't blind, just nocturnal. I know a lot of them."

"Ah, I get it... wait, I just had a weird thought. Can I see your e-Handbook for a second?

She nodded and handed it to him. Just as he suspected, it identified the owner as "Snowdrop: Ultimate Sculptor."

Soarin handed it back to her. "It says you're an 'Ultimate Sculptor,' their goofy wording, not mine. I was an 'Ultimate Flier.'"

"Are you saying someone brought us here for our talents?"

"I think so, otherwise they wouldn't draw attention to it. The question is what do they want with us now?"

Just then a voice from an intercom boomed throughout the room. It was bizarrely cute and cartoony, but seemed very angry. "Attention! It is now 8:00 a.m., and it appears that some of you bastards have yet to assemble in the gym. Please come promptly, or you will be faced with harsh punishment! This is the first and last warning I will give for tardiness!"

Soarin gave the e-Handbook back to her in a hurry. "Oh horseapples! I forgot the time! Come on, Snowdrop, I don't wanna know what that punishment is. Follow me really close."

They flew out, Soarin flying as fast as he could without risking a crash or leaving Snowdrop behind. However, she kept up surprisingly well, and they reached the gym in under half a minute.

Inside were twelve other ponies of varying races, as well as a griffon and zebra.  The gym was the type that could be used as an auditorium in a pinch, with a stage and podium on the far side, but nopony was standing at it.

"Well, it's about time!" said the voice from the intercom. "Now that these two have finally joined us, I get to do this!"

Flares shot out of the stage into the air, showering the stage with sparks, and trumpets blasted a fanfare fit for a princess. Finally, something shot up, as if from a cannon, and did a flip before landing on top of the podium. Whatever it was stood tall and raised its hands up in a display of self-celebration. "Ta da! Aren't you feeling silly that you almost missed that? The glorious entrance of the great Monokuma?" The thing resembled some kind of teddy bear, but while its right half was cute and white, its left half was sinister and black, with a big, sharp-toothed grin. Notably, the M symbol that Soarin had seen on his blackboard was identical to the left side's eye.

"Is that a stuffed toy?" asked one of the ponies, a red unicorn stallion with a red and purple striped mane and a fancy black and white heart for a cutie mark.

"Are you the one who brought us all here?" asked a white unicorn mare with a blue mane and purple glasses. Her cutie mark was a pair of eighth notes.

"What? What about my entrance?" Monokuma said. "I worked so hard on it..."

"We don't care about your entrance or how hard you worked on it, we care about the fact that you kidnapped all of us!" shouted another mare, a yellow unicorn with a mane like fire. Her cutie mark was a stylized sun.

"'We, we, we! Us, us, us!' All you ponies care about is yourselves! My feelings really don't matter to you at all, do they?"

"No, they don't!" more than half of the ponies said immediately. One of the stallions, a muscular white pony with a blond crew cut and barbell cutie mark, agreed with a hearty "YEAH!" He was easily three or four times as bulky as any other pony, but he had small, dainty hooves that made him look humorously top heavy.

"Oh, this young generation can be so callous and cruel... Well, fortunately, here at Hope's Peak Academy we are committed to building character as well as knowledge. Perhaps even more so! Wait... Yup, definitely more so, on account of the lack of actual classes."

"Maybe you'd like to tell us just what you kidnapped us for?" demanded a sophisticated looking grey mare with a darker grey mane. Her cutie mark was a purple treble clef.

"Ah yes. I was about to, before I was so rudely insulted by your indifference. So without further ado, allow me to explain what you are all doing here. Even at your young ages, you ponies are each the best of the best at what you do. Academics, sports, art, miscellanea that has nothing to do with education, whatever it may be, you do it at an Ultimate level! You will be the leaders in your fields, shining beacons of hope for the world. In order to protect that hope, you will be spending the rest of your lives together in this school, living a communal lifestyle separated from the outside."

"The rest of our lives? Just who gave you the right to do that? None of us asked for this!" Demanded a skinny, cream colored pegasus stallion. He had large buck teeth, a brown mane, and his cutie mark was a white feather.

"Every decision regarding this matter was made by me and me alone, the wise Headmaster Monokuma. And don't act like you guys are being locked in some dungeon! As students of Hope's Peak Academy, you will be completely left to your own devices while you are here, and thanks to this school's unlimited budget, all your needs will be provided for you."

"Well, what if we want to leave?" The fire-maned mare from before asked.

"Leave? Why would you ever want that? After all the trouble I went through to set up this school for you... I'm so disappointed I can hardly bear it! ... Get it? Bear?" Monokuma said with a laugh, much to the annoyance of his captives. "Ah well. If you really, really want to go home, all you need to do is 'graduate' by killing another student, and I'll have you out faster than you can say hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia."

"Hippopoto-what now?" asked a brown-furred, orange-maned earth pony. Despite being almost fully grown, he was wearing a rather childish propeller hat. His cutie mark was a video game D-Pad.

Everyone else caught the important part. "'Kill another student?'" "Impossible!" "He's kidding, right?" "There's no way!" "YEAH!"

Finally Monokuma roared over the commotion. "Shut up, you bastards! Yes, I did say 'kill another student,' and I'm not joking! But nobody said that that was your only option. You could simply live in peace with the other students as well. Sure, if I were in your position I would hate to have to keep looking over my shoulder all the time in case of students who did want to leave, but hey, that's life. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some very important headmaster business to attend to. Your e-Handbooks come with a comprehensive list of rules that you can go over if you have more questions. Just remember that when the rules say 'punishment,' they ain't talking about writing sentences on the chalkboard, if you catch my drift. For now, you should all get to know each other, maybe decide for yourselves who deserves to get the axe most! Adieu, my students! Enjoy your new school life of mutual killing. I know I will!" With that, he waved goodbye and stepped behind the podium.

"Hey, I'm not finished with you!" The fire maned mare shouted, leaping up on the stage, but when she got to the podium, he was gone. There wasn't even a trap door he might have escaped through. She stomped her hoof in fury. "Damn it! He teleported or something!"

Soarin stepped forward and asked "So, what are we gonna do then?"

"Well, I guess we just have to play along and wait for now. I don't think anypony here is willing to kill innocent ponies," said the grey earth pony. "In the meantime, that 'Monokuma' was right about one thing. We may as well introduce ourselves and go over his rules. I'll go first: My name is Octavia Melody, world renowned cellist, though my e-Handbook summed it up as 'Ultimate Musician.'" Despite the situation, she did her best to put on an air of composure and class. Her cutie mark was a purple treble clef.

"And I'm her PFF Vinyl Scratch, better known as DJ Pon3! Ultimate DJ, according to my handbook thingy!" Even if it came from Monokuma, she wore the title like a badge of honor.

"Yeah, yeah, friendship, that's very nice," the fire-maned one said. "I guess you should all know that I'm Sunset Shimmer, Ultimate... High School Student?" she read from her e-Handbook. "Really, that's my title? What the-" She looked like she felt ripped off. "Ugh. Well, it fits, I suppose. Anyway, just follow my lead and I'll get us all out of here."

"Sheesh, who died and made you princess?" A mint colored unicorn mare with a harp on her flank asked. "Anyways, I'm Lyra Heartstrings, Ultimate Cryptozoologist."

"Hey, Lyra Heartstrings! I've heard of you!" said the skinny pegasus. "You're the mare who believes in humans! I'm Featherweight, Ultimate Investigative Reporter. I really admire your work, though personally I believe you're looking in all the wrong places. I think that there are known human specimens and artifacts hidden in Canterlot, but the government is covering it all up for fear of the humans spreading their ideas of representative democracy over autocratic monarchies."

"Um, can we stop using words I don't know?" asked the brown stallion in the propeller hat. "It makes things a bit hard to follow. You said your name was Featherweight, right?"

"Yes it is."

"Hey, I think I went to school with you! Remember me? I'm Button Mash! I think I remember reading about you recently too!"

"Oh yeah, that's right, you're the kid who was never seen away from his video games. You said you read one of my articles?” Featherweight asked eagerly. "Did I help open your mind to the truth? Did I help to free you from the Matrix?"

"Uh, no. Actually I read about you in my book of world records. You hold the record for the most restraining orders placed against a single pony, right?"

Featherweight looked rather annoyed. "Yeah, I guess that is true. It's all just part of a conspiracy though. The idea is to have so many ponies and buildings in Canterlot that I can't come within a hundred feet of that I can barely move around within the city. That way, I can't reveal all the horrible things going on in there!"

"The book said it was mostly for privacy violations."

"Excuses and technicalities! I broke into that room to find proof of an Illumitroti conspiracy! The fact that those nobles happened to be having sex in it was unexpected and entirely irrelevant to my investigation!"

Button blushed so much he was practically glowing. "Uh... Okay... Well, shifting gears now: Like I said, I'm Button Mash, Ultimate Gamer! That record book I mentioned? Over three fourths of the high scores in it belong to me!"

The griffon spoke up next. He was a male and, like all griffons, was half lion and half eagle. However, unlike other griffons, his fur and feathers were all completely black, save for a bit of plumage that was died red. "Escaping into a fantasy world... How I wish such coping methods worked for me. I tried once, but the entire time all I could do was empathize with the very pain that I myself was inflicting on the moblins and octorocks that fell to my blade all for the simple crime of existing in a place where their sole function was to senselessly kill and die. You may call me Rook. Though I was designated an Ultimate Poet, I assure you that my works are hardly a sufficient distraction from the sufferings of this world, let alone our current situation."

Another pony popped over, a green earth pony mare with a slightly lighter green mane done up in two fluffy pigtails. She was fully dressed in a miniskirt and a jacket which bore the word 'FUN' in bright pink letters. She wrapped a foreleg around Rook and squealed "Why you such a downer, Blackcastle? (That's my nickname for you, cuz of the chess thingy and Whitecastle hayburgers and you being black, by the way.) Didn't you hear the bear? We got this whole school to ourselves, like a lock-in! It might actually be pretty fun! Anyway, my name's Yoyo Yolo, Ultimate Fun Lover!"

"I think she's underestimating the situation a bit, but she has a point. I don't think Monokuma will hurt us directly if we abide by his rules. He at least seems like the Lawful Evil type," said the red stallion. "I'm True Heart by the way. I'm an Ultimate Stargazer, though I'm not sure what kind of talent that is."

"I hope you're right about that..." said Snowdrop.  "My name's Snowdrop, Ultimate Sculptor. I'm blind, but you don't need to worry about me too much. Once I learn the layout of this place I'll be mostly fine. If I need help I'll ask for it though. Soarin here's been absolutely wonderful so far."

"Aw, shucks..." Soarin said, blushing. "Well, I'm Soarin, of the Wonderbolts, so I'm probably pretty well deserving of being an Ultimate Flier."

"The Wonderbolts? Aw YEAH! I'm Bulk Biceps, Ultimate Bodybuilder! I'm a huge fan! I was even in the academy, if you remember me," said the muscular pegasus, grabbing Soarin's hoof and shaking it like an earthquake.

"It's a pleasure, and you know, I think I do remember seeing you fly around," Soarin replied, trying not to think about the very real possibility of his leg being shaken out of its socket.

"YEAH!" Bulk cheered in celebration over meeting his idol. "Though, unfortunately after the academy I was in a bad crash. I landed right on by back and broke practically every bone in my wings. It took so long to heal that my wings atrophied so much I can barely get off the ground." He wiggled his wings, which were so small that many of the other students had thought he was an Earth Pony at first. Landing on them certainly would be crippling.

"Oh... I'm sorry, that's just horrible."

"Yeah, but I've moved on. I still have weightlifting."

"And that is how I single hoofedly preserved the continuity of the show, even where Corey Powell failed. But apart from that, I have to say meeting a Wonderbolt makes me kinda wish I was more into sports," said a blue unicorn with glasses and a brown mane. His cutie mark was a typewriter. "I'm Click Clack, or just Click if it's easier. I'm an Ultimate Author Insert, but unless anyone here's read Wild Wasteland, that's not too important. And don't worry about me being a stupidly perfect character or anything, I just wanted to see what it's like to be a character in my own story."

A green pegasus stallion with a grey mane suddenly began to have a small coughing fit, which sounded oddly like the words "Shameless plug." His cutie mark was a skull with two wrenches crossed behind it, and the whole thing was white outlined in blue.

"Do you need a glass of water or something?" asked a grey pegasus mare with a blond mane, bubbles as a cutie mark, and offset eyes.

The stallion blushed a bit. "Er, no, sorry. But since I'm already talkin', my name's Frostbite, Ultimate Sexpert!"

The looks on everyones's faces were exactly what one would expect, except for Yoyo Yolo, whose interest was clearly piqued, and the zebra, who didn't react at all.

Button was the first to speak, looking pretty irritated. "No, what are you really?"

"Oh, you're no fun," Frostbite said. "But according to my e-Handbook, I'm an Ultimate Engineer. I'm the guy you call if you need something built or fixed, though I do have many other talents... Ladies..."

Button groaned. "Hey, uh, blond girl, weren't you gonna introduce yourself next?"

The mare in question was busy pinching her nose shut and trying to keep her wings folded. "Huh? Oh, uh, no, I was just offering him water..."

"... Or Gentlecolts, I don't discriminate," Frostbite continued.

"Are you sure you weren't gonna say anything else?" Click Clack asked her. By now he'd turned from cobalt blue to rose red. "I feel really dirty writing his dialogue!"

She snorted back her nosebleed and decided to help Click and Button change the subject. "Okay then. My name's Ditzy Doo, but most ponies call me Derpy Hooves. At first they were just teasing me for my clumsiness, but even after people stopped picking on me it kinda stuck. I even think it's cute, so you can call me either. My title is Ultimate Hope, probably because I never give up."

"That's a really wonderful trait," said Snowdrop. "That's just the kind of thing we need in a situation like this."

"Aww, you're making me blush."

"I thought I was the one doing that," said Frostbite before Button shoved a hoof over his mouth.

"So, that's all but one of us," interrupted Octavia before he could continue speaking. "So, what's your name?" she addressed the zebra mare.

The zebra turned to her with a detached expression. The entire time she'd been in the gym, the zebra hadn't interacted with anyone. She was a mare wearing a hooded black cloak and a star shaped necklace. "My name is Zihiri. I am an Ultimate Occultist. That is all you need to know, and it is all I shall say, for now at least. Since we have all been introduced, I see no need to remain here and I do not wish to stay. Goodbye." With that, she turned and began to trot away.

"Hey, what about those rules Monokuma mentioned, shouldn't we talk about those?" True Heart called after her.

"I shall do so alone. I don't need fifteen others to help me read." She didn't even slow down on her way out.

"Hey, don't you walk out on us!" Sunset Shimmer demanded, but it was too late. She sighed angrily. "Ugh. Someone read those rules."

"I got it," said Vinyl, who pulled them up on her e-Handbook and read them:

1. Students may reside only within the school. Leaving campus is an unacceptable use of time.

2. "Nighttime" is from 10 p.m. to 7 a.m. Some areas are off-limits at night, so please exercise caution.

3. Sleeping anywhere other than the dormitory will be seen as sleeping in class and punished accordingly.

4. With minimal restrictions, you are free to explore Hope's Peak Academy at your discretion.

5. Violence against Headmaster Monokuma is strictly prohibited, as is destruction of surveillance cameras.

6. Magic of all kinds is fully permitted in the school, though teleportation spells are supressed by the school's own enchantments. In addition, any unicorn must identify all of their spells if asked by a fellow student. Be warned that the headmaster already knows all of your spells, and withholding information from such a request warrants punishment.

7. Anyone who kills a fellow student and becomes "blackened" will graduate, unless they are discovered.

8. Additional rules may be added by the school at any time.

"So basically we can do almost anything we want here, until Monokuma starts abusing rule 8," observed Click.

Lyra nodded. "Yeah, it looks like it, but I think he really wants us to do that murder thing he was talking about. It'd be just too easy for us otherwise."

"But nopony's actually gonna do it, right? He can't force us to do that!" said Snowdrop.

Sunset Shimmer scoffed. "Are you kidding? I for one don't know anyone here. Any one of us could cave in at any time."

"Hey, don't be so negative! This is no time to assume the worst, especially of each other. We're in this together!" said Soarin.

"YEAH!" agreed Bulk.

Octavia stomped her hoof in agreement. "They're right. We need to make the best of this situation until someone comes to help us. Some of us are prominent figures, so there's a good chance that we'll be missed very soon. It's only a matter of time until somepony comes looking. For now, I say we go out and explore this place, look for possible escape routes, find out what resources we have at our disposal, and anything else at all that can help us to get through this."

"Sounds good to me, Octi!" agreed Vinyl.

"Great. We'll meet here again at... let's say 11:00, and think about our situation a little bit more."

With that, each pony began going their separate ways. A few went to examine school's various rooms. Some searched for possible escape routes. Others began wandering aimlessly, with no idea of what to check first. All of them, however, had roughly the same thoughts going through their minds. For all their optimism, would they ever see the outside again? How exactly did Monokuma manage to capture all of them? Most importantly: could they really trust their fellow captives?

Featherweight's Mystical Adventure, and Other Happenings

Featherweight was the first one out of the cafeteria. His 'classmates' were admittedly rather interesting, but none so much as that Zebra. While she had taken the cowardly route of barricading herself in her room, Featherweight  was confident that he'd thought up a way around that. It was the same way he'd gotten into Prince Blueblood's room that one time. Sure, rather than exposing Blueblood as a Colthulhu cultist as intended, Featherweight's endeavors only outed the Prince as a closet Oubliettes and Ogres nerd, but at least RPG Quarterly paid some pretty good money for the pictures.

"Alright..." he said to himself as he took out his screwdriver and scanned the walls. "Where did I see that-"

"Looking for something, little nosey one? Perhaps looking too hard into more things that you shouldn't?" Zihiri said as she passed by him.

Featherweight leapt into the air and hovered near the ceiling. "Hey! Don't sneak up on me like that! It's creepy!"

Zihiri snorted. "My, you seem to be quite a... what was that word ponies use? One who accuses others of things he himself has done? 'Hippo-shit?'"

"Wha-!? That's 'hypocrite!'"

"Ah, that's right. I thought what I said sounded weird. Anyway, I'm going to go eat, goodbye."

Featherweight put away his screwdriver and descended to land in her path. "Hey, not so fast! There's a few things I'd like to know about you."

"Very well... but as they say, one should never ask a question when one isn't prepared to hear the answer."

Featherweight narrowed his eyes. Zihiri certainly wasn't making herself look any more trustworthy. "I suppose I'll start small. You said you were an Ultimate Occultist. What exactly does that mean?"

"It means that I deal in the occult, or if you prefer, the supernatural. It is exactly what it sounds like. Are all your questions going to be of this nature? I'm very hungry and so far it seems like you could find your answers much easier with a... I forget the word. It starts with 'dic'. You don't have one of those 'dic' things, do you? If you do, it must be outlandishly small for it not to include 'occultist.'"

"A 'dictionary...'" Featherweight said, gritting his teeth. "And I know what occultist means, but could you elaborate a little?"

"Oh you know, potion brewing, séances, a multitude of rituals..."

"Like rituals to summon Colthulhu into Equestria and start a thousand years of darkness and suffering?"

"Oh, no, no, no. Not Colthulhu. Not him at all." She grinned slightly, revealing that two of her teeth were filed to points.

Well, that totally wasn't suspicious. "Okay, moving on... Have you ever been convicted of any crimes?"

"Of course not, for to be convicted, one must first be arrested, and hitherto I have never been arrested," she said matter-of-factly.

"You're wording some of your answers rather oddly."

"Oh, am I? I hadn't noticed. I must admit to being dismally unskilled in your pony tongue. Can we finish this? I'd really like to eat."

Featherweight frowned, mentally tallying all the times this 'unskilled' zebra had used words like 'outlandishly,' 'hitherto,' and 'dismally' with no issues. Still, she wasn't cracking yet. Perhaps if he pressed just a little more...

"Oh fine, just a couple more for now. What were you doing in your room when I was ringing your doorbell?"

"Reading... And ignoring you, that part was crucial."

"Just reading? Reading what?"

"A book."

"Well no shit! What was the book about and where'd you get it?"

"That was two."

"What?"

"You said just a couple more questions. 'What was I doing' and 'What was I reading.' That's two. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat now."

As she tried to step around him, Featherweight jumped in her way, unable to contain his investigative urges. "Oh no, that answer didn't count, and you know it! There's something about that book you don't want me to know, isn't there? What were you really reading?"

Zihiri rolled her eyes, pulled something out from under her cloak, and threw it on the ground, making it erupt into smoke. "Here. This should keep you out of my mane for a short while, though it pains me to lose it so quickly. Many ponies would pay very much for it. Goodbye," By the time the smoke cleared and Featherweight stopped coughing, she was gone.

"Dang it!" Featherweight grumbled. "Ah well, I already know she was looking for the cafeteria. I'll go find her there."

Just then he noticed an inch-tall alicorn in a kilt fly passed his nose. Then a small armada of beetles marched past his feet, each holding an umbrella to protect themselves from the mini folding chairs falling from the storm clouds above their heads.

"... That was no ordinary smoke was it?" he realized as the walls began melting and giving way to a magical forest. "Well shoot, how do I find her now? Hey, maybe that purple dragon knows! Hey, purple dragon! Wait for me!" He then gave chase, coincidentally running past Zihiri on her way to the cafeteria and slamming into a wall at top speed.

Zihiri actually winced when she saw him collapse. She approached his twitching body and gave him a light poke in the ribs. He rolled back over and looked up at her. "Hey, Zihiri, did you see where that purple dragon went? I need to ask him if he knows where you are."

She gave him a deadpan look and pointed down a nearby hallway.

"Okay, thanks! Just you wait Zihiri, I'm hot on your trail! You'll never escape me!" he exclaimed before dashing off.

She smirked and continued on her way. "I need to make more of that stuff."

*** *** ***

Meanwhile, Sunset, Lyra, and Frostbite had met up in a nearby classroom to discuss the election.

"Well, all things considered, that went rather smoothly," Sunset said. "At least this way, when I win, I'll have Monokuma's power to back me up."

"What about Octavia?" asked Lyra.

Despite her scowl at the mention of her opponent, Sunset still exuded confidence. "Don't worry too much about her. After all, she didn't even want it at first. She'll be an annoyance at most."

"Need us to do anything else?" asked Frostbite.

"Actually, yes, now that you mention it. I'd like one of you to see where everyone else stands right now. Who's voting for me, who's voting for Octavia, and who's still undecided. Assured victory or not, it never hurts to know the score."

"I can do that," Frostbite volunteered immediately. "Besides, while I'm at it, there's bound to be one or two ponies here in need of some TLC," Frostbite said. "I mean there's still thirteen ponies I need to ask, and that gray mare was totally almost there earlier! Frankly, I like them odds! I'll get started right now!" He gave a salute and headed out.

"Don't forget about actually doing the survey! That's what's important!" Sunset called after him. "He's gonna forget the survey and flirt the whole time isn't he?" she conceded.

"Maybe, maybe not," Lyra said with a shrug. "I wouldn't write him off before he actually comes back. Anything else you need done?"

"Hm... Not that I can think of, actually. I'm used to campaigning for an entire school. A class of sixteen will be nothing."

Lyra grinned. "Alright then! Since we have some spare time though, how about you let me in on some of that human knowledge you were talking about?" Her eyes glimmered like jewels: jewels with a human obsession.

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Fine. I suppose I need to eventually."

Lyra pulled out a pencil and notebook and took a seat at the front of the classroom. "Come on Ms. Shimmer! Fill my brain with knowledge!"

"Wait, you're actually expecting me to act like a teacher?"

"I learn better in a classroom environment," Lyra said, taking out an apple and giving it to Sunset.

"Ugh. Fine," Sunset groaned as she moved to the front of the class. "Now I assume you know the basics about human physiology, since you're supposed to be an expert on them."

"Yup, I've seen every sketch ever drawn of one. What I'm hoping to learn is about their culture!"

"Ah. Well, I'm just the right pony for that then. I suppose I should just start from the beginning. A couple years back, I was magically transported into the human world and even given a human form when I found a magic mirror portal in Canterlot." She looked back at Lyra to see if she looked like she believed it.

"Magic portal: got it. I suppose the human things in Canterlot is one thing that Featherweight guy got right, then," Lyra said, not questioning Sunset's story at all.

"It would seem so. Anyway, the most apparent thing about humans aside from their bodies is their clothing. For humans, clothes are not optional. No matter how nice it is outside, or how dirty or unfashionable your wardrobe is, you're supposed to wear something."

"Or what?"

"It attracts Frostbites." Sunset cringed remembering it... ah well, at least she got Snips' and Snails' eternal loyalty out of the incident. "Next, humans generally hold things in their hands, instead of mouths. As I discovered the hard way, this applies especially to anything electrical. Basically humans have no magic, and instead exclusively use electrical appliances. So using your mouth to plug in an extension cord is not a good idea."

Lyra winced, but then looked to her forehooves longingly.

"Next, humans are more into general education, at least where I went. Here in Equestria, you finish up six to nine years of school and then start working on trade skills, with further education being only for richer ponies or those going into more complex jobs. Everything up to high school is mandatory for humans."

"Just like here," Lyra noted, "but without students killing each other."

Sunset nodded, though she seemed noncommittal. "Usually. I heard they tried something like our situation in the Republic of Greater East Asia, and... wait, was Heathers fictional or a documentary?" she trailed off, trying to keep her facts straight. Finally, she just shrugged it off. "Whatever. Point is nothing like this happened where I was. Now, next I'd like to mention that humans like to eat meat. A lot." A slight malicious smile spread across her face. She was in the mood for a good prank.

"What kind?" Lyra tilted her head. She knew they were omnivorous, but not much about the specifics of their diets.

"Cow, mostly." Sunset smirked and waited for the reaction.

"Huh? But- Why? How? I mean..." the gears in Lyra's brain were clearly grinding. "But cows are our friends!"

Sunset chuckled a bit before opting to let her in on the rest of the story. "Actually, in the human world, cows-"

"Ah well. I guess if humans are okay with it, it's fine," Lyra decided, instantly at peace with it.

"-are... non-sapient..." Sunset finished, in awe at what Lyra had just said. "You accepted it that quickly? It's practically cannibalism!"

"Well, lots of cultures have eaten sapient creatures over the centuries. Griffons at one time ate ponies, why should humans not eat cows? Sure, I'm glad that human-world cows aren't intelligent, but even if they were, I'm okay with whatever humans do. They're such fascinating creatures! Hm... While we're on the subject, what exactly did they taste like? Maybe I can get a powerful unicorn to clone just a cow's leg for me to eat, so I won't have to resort to killing or stealing amputee parts. Yeah, that'd really let me step into their human shoes..." Lyra laid her head on her hooves, as if daydreaming, and started drooling slightly.

"Okaaaaay... " Sunset said, looking a little creeped out. "Was there anything else you wanted to know about them?"

For the next half hour, Lyra continued to ask questions, mostly about human rules and customs, though a disproportionate number were about human mating rituals. Sunset refused to answer those ones.

*** *** ***

"Wow... those smell so good! Thanks, True Heart!" Derpy said, gazing at the slowly rising muffins in the cafeteria's oven.

"No problem," True Heart replied, although that was a bit of a lie. Even though he was supposed to be making them for her, her advice and oversight saved the project on more than one occasion. "Where'd you learn to bake like that anyway?"

"Years of practice. Whenever I was feeling down, muffins made me feel better."

"I feel the same way about stars... I wonder if Monokuma will let us see the sky while we're in here?"

"Well, he did give you a telescope, so possibly."

"He just wants me to hit somepony with it. I mean you got a mini-oven even though this big one works just fine."

Derpy shrugged. "Even then, we'll get out of here sooner or later."

"You still think so?"

"I know so. Monokuma's underestimating us when he says we'll start killing each other. I mean, would you kill somepony to escape?"

"No, of course not. Although I would like to get out of here soon. I can't bake the night sky..."

"What makes the stars so special to you, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I like everything about the night. It started back when I was a foal. I was out camping with my friends, but when night fell, I went out to go to the bathroom and got lost on my way back. There was nothing but darkness and strange noises everywhere I went. Obviously I was scared, but by sheer luck I eventually stepped into a clearing. There were no trees anywhere, just the clear night sky. Have you ever looked at the stars with no lights or obstructions, Ditzy?"

"Yeah, you could say I have. They really do get beautiful, don't they?"

"They get indescribable. I swear I sat there for an hour. Given the time, I would have just sat there and counted them they were so beautiful. Eventually my friends realized I was gone, and when they found me, I convinced them to actually move camp so we could sleep under the stars. And don't even get me started on what it looks like with a telescope! Galaxies, nebulas, they're all so beautiful."

"They really are. Did you know that every one of the stars out there has its own planets?"

"Yup, and some of them are probably inhabited."

She tried to repress a chuckle. "I'd say definitely... Have you ever wondered what our world looks like from out there?"

"Sometimes. It's kind of funny, the way you can't see the things that are the closest to you. I bet it looks wonderful though."

"It does. It's the most beautiful one of all, because it's home."

"You sound almost like you've seen it."

Before she could respond, the oven started beeping. "Oh! We better get that!"

They went to tend to the muffins, eventually forgetting thoughts of space and planets, aside from one remark Derpy made about Earth being the only planet where you could get a good muffin... or so she assumed, at least.

*** *** ***

Meanwhile, just outside in the cafeteria, Click Clack was click-clacking away at his laptop, working on a story he'd been putting off, even though he totally never does that normally. Ever. After finishing off a long string of paragraphs, he saved his progress, smiled to himself, and got up to procrastinate stretch his legs and get some soda.

"Click Clack!" Rook burst into the cafeteria. "I need to use your laptop for a second! There's nothing else to write on and I can't lose this idea!" Without waiting for a response, Rook grabbed the computer, opened a new file and started typing.

Click didn't mind sharing, but took the liberty of watching over Rook's shoulder.

Made to live in a world unknown.

Ursine laughter chilling bone.

Rage and sadness mix in our souls.

Despair leaves us helpless as small foals.

Exits do not exist among these rooms.

Roads lead only too our dooms.

"Whoa... was that an acrostic?" Click gasped, soda nearly coming out of his nose.

"Yeah. It's not finished yet. Normally it would be much better."

"They get better than that? It was an acrostic and it rhymed, plus you made it up on the spot."

"If that one ever gets recognized as great, then I've been wasting my life trying too hard."

"At least you can pull something halfway decent out of your plot. I always need a lot of time to make a story, even without me putting stuff off. I mean this story itself is probably gonna take four times as long as necessary."

"Books are longer than poems. You have an excuse."

"Well, sure, but you don't know what it means to be in literary hell 'til you've experienced genuine writer's block with a deadline."

"I suppose... I've never had a deadline since school."

"Oh yeah..." Click sat down next to Rook. "I take what I said back. The worst thing about writing is those stupid prompts you would get in school, and yes, I feel this way on both sides of the fourth wall. Honestly I hated those things so much it led me to hate writing when I was young, forcing me away from what I was meant to do and delaying my development as an author. Is that what you wanted, Mrs. Morrison? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED!?." Click said casually.

"Oh my gosh, those..." Rook pinched the bridge of his beak.

"Like those ones where you're supposed to write about something that actually happened to you, whether or not you've had the kind of experience they're asking for?"

"Yeah, those. 'Here, Click Clack, even though you love fiction so much, we want you to write about a time when you felt betrayed.' Lady, I don't get betrayed, I only have like nine friends and I picked 'em right!"

"I know the feeling. I had this one assignment where I had to write about a time when I was happy."

"..."

"..."

"There is no way you've never been happy," Click finally said.

"Nope. My highest moments are somewhere in the upper 'meh' range."

"What about the way your poetry makes you feel?"

"My poetry? Click, you're an Ultimate Author. You should know that writing isn't about happiness. It's about inducing thought and emotion in your readers, and poetry is especially emotion-based. I write what I feel inside, and what I feel is depressed, so I embrace that. That kind of genuine feeling is what the true substance of poetry comes from. I'm not happy, but through sadness I reach the apex of my emotion and achieve greatness."

Click nodded. "I guess I can see how that would work. I still think you're exaggerating when you say you've never been happy though."

"I'm really not."

"Bitch, I wrote you! If I think you're exaggerating then you're freaking exaggerating!" Click shrugged. "If you say so."

Just then Frostbite came up between them, getting uncomfortably close. "I know something that'll make you happy, Rook."

"Is it a female griffon?" Rook asked.

Frostbite cringed. "Aaaaaand that's one strike. Click Clack? Wanna do it?"

"If by 'do it' you mean find a marefriend, yes I would like that very much," Click answered.

Frostbite staggered back and collapsed overdramatically. "Damn you, heterosexuality!" He got back up quickly and went around the table to face them from a less personal perspective. "So, now that I know that's a dead end, let's just pal around a bit. I don't wanna be thought of as a one-trick pony, no matter how much I like said trick. So, how's about that election? Who you guys voting for?"

"Meh, probably Sunset. If we're gonna have an autocratic ruler, she may as well be a safety oriented one," Rook said.

Click shrugged. "I'm undecided, but we got a few days. Honestly I doubt much will come of it either way. Monokuma's all I'm worried about."

About that time, Derpy and True Heart came out of the kitchen. "You guys talking about the election?" Derpy asked, setting down a plate of muffins on a nearby table. "I'm thinking Octavia myself,"

"Me too. I just don't see the point of trying to protect us from each other if nopony's even a threat," said True Heart

Frostbite nodded. "I could see that, but me? I've always been about structure. If you don't have a leader, you have chaos. It's like a company of soldiers: take away the sergeant, and there's nothing stopping them from skipping out on training and getting sloppy. Of course, in our case, instead of getting sloppy, we'd be letting Monokuma get under our skin. At the very least we need somepony with leadership skills that we could rally around."

"You have a point, I guess," True Heart said with a shrug.

Frostbite nodded. "It seems pretty plain to me..." He leaned forward, looking True Heart straight in the eyes and placing his hooves on his shoulders. "It's as plain as your feelings for me. I know that look, my love."

True Heart pushed him away. "Um, sorry, not interested. At least buy me dinner first, sheesh."

Frostbite blushed, defeated once again... until he turned to Derpy, looking her straight in the eyes and placing his hooves on her shoulders. "It's as plain as your feelings for me. I know that look, my lo-"

"Frostbite! You just used that line!" Derpy said, though it was taking all of her concentration to avoid another nosebleed.

"Oh... so I did," Frostbite said. "Did it work this time?"

"No."

With his machinations dashed, Frostbite allowed the others to steer the conversation in more chaste directions, causing the Ultimate Engineer reveal his nonsexual side... but only a little.

*** *** ***

After his meeting with Derpy, True, Click, and Rook, Frostbite went out to speak to more of the other students. Once he'd addressed about half of them, he stopped to tally the votes. "Hm... Let's see, Click was undecided, Derpy and True Heart both said Octavia, Rook's going Sunset, Button voted Sunset, Featherweight says he's voting for Benji the Crimson Wildebeest, but considering the fact that he clearly got into some drugs somehow, should probably just get back to him later. Counting Lyra, Sunset, Octavia, Vinyl, and me, both sides are about even so far," Frostbite tallied. "And everypony said no to sexy time. Well, Featherweight said he'd consider it if I brought him four hundred ninety-seven and a half blue corn tortillas, but where am I gonna get that? Now who should I talk to next..."

"How about me? What are you doing? It sounds like fun!" Yoyo appeared out of nowhere, beaming with curiosity and interest.

"Oh. Hey, Yoyo. I was just trying to see who everypony is voting for. Speaking of which, what kind of traits does a sexy mare like yourself look for in a leader?"

"I look as few limitations as possible! I'm voting for Octi-puss! That's my nickname for her. You're Frostsmitten, because you're smitten with everypony you meet!"

"Wow, that's actually a pretty clever... wait, but aren't you concerned that Octavia won't protect you from other students trying to kill you?"

"There's no way they'll do that. Besides, even if they do, fighting for my life might be fun!"

"... What? Are you actually that obsessed with fun?"

"Of course. Ultimate Fun Lover, remember?"

"I know something really fun we could do..."

"What? Are you trying to score with me? Like, do you really think it's gonna be that easy?"

"Well, it was worth a sho-"

"Because it totally is! Come on, let's go back to my place!" She turned and wiggled her tail at him before bouncing off toward her room humming the tune to 'I Got a Feeling.'

Frostbite seemed taken aback. That really was easy! "Well, either she's going to murder me the second we're alone together, or I'm actually gonna get to..." *POMF* His wings flared out as he started to considered the risks and rewards. He didn't need to consider it for long. "Hey, wait up!" he shouted, running after her.

In their race for pleasure, they just so happened to pass by Button Mash in the dormitories. "Hey, what's the hurry?" Button asked as the duo reached Yoyo's room and threw open the door, forgetting to close it as they ran in.

No sooner did Button curiously look inside than he regretted it. Before he could react, a pair of hastily thrown off panties landed over his head. "AAAAAAAHHHHH! Why? Why did I look!? My eyes! AAAAAHHH!" He slammed the door and ran as fast as he could away from them, accidentally slamming into Featherweight.

"Oh, hello there, Panty Fairy! Are you here to help me retrieve the Holy Grail from the Lost Lair of the Gumdrop Overlord?" The still-high-as-a-kite pegasus asked, his eyes unevenly dilated and drifting in opposite directions.

"Screw the Grail! Give me some bleach for my eyes! And get this thing away from me!" Button tore the panties off his head.

"As you command, Your Pantiness!" Featherweight said. He put the panties on his head like a helmet and skipped away. "Adventure!"

Button, meanwhile, remained writhing on the ground in mental agony until he chanced to reopen his eyes and spot something on the floor. "Oh, hey, a Monocoin!" And in that instant, all his distress melted away.

At about that time, Bulk Biceps rounded the corner and saw him. "Hey, can I have that? I've been looking for them and trying to get that machine to get me some better weights. The dumbbells Monokuma left in my room are too light for me. I'll let you have this instead." He pulled out a little handheld game system. "I've been piling the other flops up in a classroom near the school store, but I figured I should save this one for you."

Button reached up and grabbed it. "Oh... My... Celestia... This is a Limited Edition Neightendo 3PS! These ones have Adventure Ponies 5 preinstalled and only two thousand were ever made!" Button hugged the machine to his breast. "Here, the coin's yours. Also, you're my new best friend." The look Button gave made it abundantly clear that he was not exaggerating.

"Okaaay... thanks. I'm gonna go find more coins."

"I'll help! ... After testing this out really quick!" Button switched the game on and started playing.

All the rest of the day, he never got around to helping. He was so engrossed in the game that he barely heard Monokuma's voice sound over the intercom a few hours later.

*Ding dong, bing bong*

The school's intercoms filled the school with Monokuma's voice. "Mm, ahem, this is a school announcement. It is now 10 p.m. As such, it is officially nighttime. Soon the doors to the dining hall will be locked, and entry at that point is strictly prohibited. Okay then... sweet dreams, everypony! Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite..."

"Oh... yeah, I'd better get out of the hallway then..." Button said, standing up and going back to his room, walking on three legs and deftly playing the game with one hoof as he walked.