The fanfiction you are about to read is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the creators' imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locals is entirely coincidental. This story does not reflect the views or opinions of any actual person or pony seen in it.
...Anyway, it's either just CLAY or CARTOONS!
We now see a ring in the middle of the arena, rebuilt yet again, as a familiar man spoke up. We see pictures of the fighter as he does.
"The lone admirer of a fashion designer gets revenge on her tormentor!"
"Business turns to slaughter when ponies of the apple scene take each other on!"
"And the Goddess of the Moon takes on the Monster of the Night!"
"Folks, you may want to think this is a dream, but this is none other than..."
The show's title appears onscreen.
CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH!
In a familiar booth, the man who spoke, Johnny Gomez, is there as he said, "Hey folks, welcome to Celebrity Deathmatch, a show where we turned everyday murder and make it to your entertainment. I'm Johnny Gomez..."
"And as always I'm Nick Diamond; we're both in Equestria which has been rebuilt, again, after Discord blew it up the last time." Nick explains to the camera.
"Right, but well assured, we are doing the hell we can to make sure it doesn't happen again."
"And don't forget me!" A familiar pony bounces into the booth with a happy smile, "Hi folks! It's me! The lovable pony of laughter Pinkie Pie, here for your entertainment! We got some super duper matches not those for the faint of heart."
"So if there's any faint of heart, folks, leave now!" Johnny jokes as the trio laughs. "Anyway, let's begin this match with a grudge match for the Equestrian ages."
We see the match-ups as the hosts introduce them.
Fight 1
As we see pictures of the first two fighters, Nick exclaims, "The first match involves Rarity but she won't be fighting, only these two guys is. There's Spike, her little dragon who wants her, going against Prince Blueblood, the asshole who treated the unicorn wrong at a Gala."
"Yeah, that Blueblood deserves whatever punishment he gets tonight." Pinkie said sternly to the hosts. "I mean, how can he treat Rarity like dirt; Water, maybe, but not dirt!"
"That may be right, but the fighters in the next fight don't mind dirt." Johnny said as he introduces the next fight.
Fight 2
We see the next two fighters as Johnny continues, "Their rivalry has been going since the attempted takeover of Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack, the toughest as nails cowpony, going against those con pony brothers, Flim and Flam."
"This is more than business, this is personal." Pinkie said with a nod. "And when it comes to doing business, this is like getting rid of weeds, not like the grimdark fics where Cheerilee kill off her students and most of the Mane Six, including me, then blame it on Twilight."
"Damn it, Pinkie, don't put that thought in our heads, please!"
Main/Mane Event
We see the final two fighters as Pinkie said happily, "And of course, there's our Mane Event which is the true Clash of the Titans! The Goddess of the Sun and our ruler Princess Celestia will do battle with that evil monster of Midnight Castle from centuries ago, Tirek the Abomination."
"Who we will be bringing back to life via the Celebrity Deathmatch Time Machine," Johnny explains to the audience with a nod. "What if Tirek tries to hurt the crowd?"
"Don't worry we know about Tirek so we have some help to keep them safe."
With that we can see some guards, Luna, Golden Heart, Pinkamena (the good one but is wearing a dark robe with a hood so no one knows who she is), King Spykoran the Old, the Dragon Clans and the Dragon Army ready if the evil centaur tries to do something.
"Who's the one with the dark robe and hood?" Nick asks puzzled, "Friend of yours, Pinkie?"
"I wish!" Pinkie exclaims happily to Nick.
Johnny nods as he spoke, "All right, as we wait for the first match, let's go to Fluttershy who is in the locker room with one of the fighters for the next fight, her pal Applejack."
"Go for it, Flutter!" Pinkie exclaims happily.
In the locker room, we see Fluttershy smiling while standing near Applejack, saying, "Thanks everyone; Hey, AJ; Glad to see you again."
"Thanks, Fluttershy. Hope yer last interview wit' me involving Rainbow didn't...spooked ya some." Applejack remarks to Fluttershy with a grin.
"Oh, that's okay. So how will you prepare for your fight against Flim and Flam?"
"Shucks, if those guys fight as they are wit' making apples, then Ah ain't got much too worried."
"Isn't that overconfident, Applejack?" Fluttershy ask Applejack in worry. "They may kill you."
"Hey, if Ah was confident 'dat mah family's apple making tactics would work, then mah..." Applejack was cut off as the door to the locker room opens up as Flim and Flam came in with their equipment. The cowpony frowns. "Well, speaking o' 'de devil spawns."
"Oh hey Flim, Flam! How are you two preparing?"
"Well, Miss Fluttershy, we can't bring our huge apple making machine into the ring." Flim said to Fluttershy with a grin.
"But our equipment is enough to smash Miss Applejack's bones into applesauce." Flam remarks with an evil laugh. "Want an example?"
"Oh no thanks," Fluttershy said with a squee. "I prefer not to eat before seeing these gruesome matches."
"Yew dumb colts will be eating blood when Ah is done wit' yew." Applejack snaps to the brothers sternly. "Because when yew messed wit' mah family's farm, yew messed wit' 'de family...mainly me!"
"Someone got off the wrong side of the barn, brother." Flim remarks to Flam with a laugh.
"Quite right, brother," Flam said in agreement making Applejack glare at them.
"Well, looks like the fighters are ready for the big one, guys." Fluttershy said to the audience with a smile. "Hopefully they will fill out their words in the ring; Back to you trio."
Back in the booth, Nick said, "Thanks Fluttershy. And now, let's talk about the first fight between Spike the Dragon and Prince Blueblood."
"No secret that Spikey is in love with Rarity...and when Prince Blueblood treated her wrong at a Gala...let's say this purple dragon saw red." Pinkie said with a smile.
"We will see if size doesn't matter in the ring. Prince Blueblood may be an arrogant prince but word has it that he got magic to spare." Johnny explains to the audience.
"Oh I hope so! I hate a one-sided match!"
"Let's go to the ring."
In the ring, we see Spike throwing fists as Johnny announces, "It's time for our first fight of the night. In the purple corner, the upcoming hero, the assistant of the Element of Magic, the one whose love is a big as his heart and determination...Spike the Dragon!"
The audience cheers as Spike exclaims, "Thanks, everyone! I'm here for a big and positive message. Beat the Tartarus right out of that asshole Blueblood!"
The audience boos as we see Prince Blueblood in his corner. Johnny announces, "And in the snot corner, the whiny brat whose folks don't think deserves to be Celestia's nephew...Prince Blueblood!
"Thank you for your support, everyone," Prince Blueblood said, obvious to the fact that everyone is booing him.
The fighters approach the referee Mills Lane as he said, "All right, you two. Here are the rules. I want a good clean fight especially in whiny Blueblood's case. And Spike, watch your teeth."
Blueblood taunts Spike. "When I get through with you, Twilight is going to be needing a new assistant; Because, unlike when you fought your brother, you WON'T be coming back from the dead this time."
"Yeah, yeah, let's see if you can back those words with your fat ass, Blueblood." Spike taunts Blueblood who frowns at Spike.
"Let's get it on!" Mills exclaims. The bell rings as the first fight begins.
"Time to dissect some dragon," Blueblood sneered as he gets in a fighting stance.
"Yeah, well, trust me, I ain't no frog, filly!" Spike taunts Blueblood.
"Oooh, good dirty talk from Spike," Pinkie exclaims with a smile.
"Hey, I'm a colt, stupid! Not..." Prince Blueblood was cut off as Spike hits him hard in the upper forelegs, causing him to scream like a filly, "Ouch; my legs!"
"Yeah, you're a filly all right. No wonder with the mane." Spike taunts Blueblood with a smirk.
"That does it! I'll make hors d'oeuvres out of you!" Blueblood shouted angrily.
"Big words from Blueblood, but can he backs them up?" Nick asks puzzled. Suddenly Blueblood's horn glows. Spike yelps as he is floating into the air.
"Apparently, he can, Nick! Spike has taken to the air and not by choice!" Johnny exclaims as Spike is flying into the air then Blueblood hits him. "And Blueblood is hitting him like Tiger Woods to his wife!"
"Ha; Peasant filth, peasant filth," Prince Blueblood taunts as he hit Spike a few times.
"Ouch. Spike hasn't got this many hits since the reviews came in for the Gabby Gums episode!" Nick remarks in amusement.
"When I get rid of you, lizard, that ugly mule you call your girlfriend will be next, peasant filth!" Blueblood grinned evilly as he kept hitting Spike.
"Oooh, not what Spike wants to hear," Johnny said as Spike frowns while struggling. "How will he get out of this?"
"Hey, Blueblood, look down." Spike sneers to Blueblood as if having a plan.
"Why?" Blueblood asked Spike skeptically.
"You got dirt all over your suit." Spike answers the unicorn.
"What," Blueblood asked in shock and disgust as he looked down.
"Blueblood is distracted while trying to shake the dirt off...and Spike is freed!" Pinkie exclaims as the magic holding Spike disappears, freeing Spike.
"And Spike took the advantage." Nick exclaims. Spike grabs Blueblood's hair and cuts it off. "Ouch; shave and a haircut, two bits!"
"Hey, Samson! Looks like I just became your Delilah!" Spike laughs as Blueblood gasps as his now shortened mane.
"My Mane; my... my beautiful mane," Blueblood cried as he looked at his mane before he glared at Spike in an inhuman rage, "You bastard! I'll kill you!.!.!"
Spike throws a cake at Blueblood, commentating, "I learned this trick from Pinkie Pie."
"Now that's bad bads!" Pinkie exclaims happily.
Spike then uses his flame breath to give him two front hot-hooves, adding, "And I learned THAT trick from doing most of the cooking for myself and Twilight."
"Ouch! Blueblood is getting major hot burns!" Nick exclaims as Spike hits Blueblood, burning him a bit.
Spike points out, "My jaws are strong enough to bite through diamonds, and your legs and tail are nowhere NEAR that tough. So wherever I choose to bite you will hurt like the blazes."
"Oh, yeah," Blueblood shouted, "I'll make YOU hurt like the blazes when I give you this! AVADA KEDAVRA!" Then, suddenly, he launched a green beam of magic from his horn towards Spike.
"Now Blueblood is resorting to dirty tricks," Johnny exclaims as Spike dodges the spell. "He is using the Unforgiven Spells! Spike is in trouble."
"He's doing a huge number on the crowd, Johnny." Nick said as some of the spells hit the audience members, causing them to drop dead. "They are dropping like flies."
"Yeah, you wanna fight dirty, bitch?! So can I!" Spike laughs insanity as he pulls out a knife and stabs at Blueblood's legs.
"Yikes! I was worried that this would happen. It's Spike's Descent into madness!" Pinkie announces in horror.
"ARGH; My legs; YOU (BLEEP)ING bastard!" Blueblood shouted as he glared at Spike with a look of crazed rage in his eyes.
"Come on, come on! Let me have the brains." Spike laughs but Blueblood lunges and stabs him with the horn. "Ouch!"
"I can do more than that!" Blueblood snaps while stomping Spike into the mat of the ring. "That's for ruining my perfect figure."
"'Perfect'?! Blueblood, face it. The only reason some fillies like you is that they prefer your looks than brains." Spike taunts Blueblood. "And from the looks of things, you don't have both now!"
"Neither do you considering the way you acted to the ponies with your rage!" Blueblood taunted back as he kept stomping Spike, "You hurt everypony's feelings, even those Cutie Mark Crybabies and Rarity's! Read the memo, lizard! You're better off dead along with the whiny mule Rarity! I am the true master of beauty, and you're mere hors d'oeuvres! You belong to your pathetic dead family of freaks you call dragons! Nopony wants you! NOPONY, YOU MOTHER(BLEEP)ING SLAVE!.!.!"
"Buck off!" Spike snaps as he fires a fireball right into Blueblood, sending him flying. The dragon got up while snapping, "Those are fighting words. You insulted a dream so you insult my honor!"
"Yeah, whatcha going to do about it," Bleublood snaps to Spike arrogantly. "Wanna fight some more?"
"You bet your ass! Get ready!" Spike snaps as he pulls out his hilt, and activates his Beam Sword.
"I never noticed how a beam sword is like a lightsaber before." Pinkie said in amazement.
"You think your beam sword or lightsaber or whatever you call it can beat me?! I am a prince. You coming back were an accident!" Blueblood remarked, earning some gasps from the audience.
"Let's finish this right now." Spike said to Blueblood sternly.
"With pleasure," Blueblood replied menacingly before he snorted and charged towards Spike like a raging bull as his eyes turned red with his horn glowing green.
Now as everyone saw it, the battle took to the air above the ring.
"I don't believe it, now the contenders are fighting in the air!" Johnny responded completely astounded by this event.
"And neither of them has wings! What's the catch?" Nick asked his pal in wondering, how the fighters can fly without wing power.
"Oh, Blueblood's a unicorn, so his magic is the key, Spike learned a technique called; Flame Step, which lets him skip in the air while leaving a spark of flame to skip in the air." Pinkie Pie came between the announcers to explain this little fact on the situation.
"A bizarre twist if I ever heard one." Nick shrug off his shoulders in hearing this tale be told.
"That's right, now let's watch and see how things go!" Johnny nods before they focus on the fight above them.
"Your mother's a lizard!" Blueblood taunts as he fires magic spells at Spike, hitting him. "And your father's a Godzilla while your brother's a dick!"
"Hey, I can take the insults to dad, but not to my mom and Lorcan!" Spike snaps as he slashes at Blueblood a few times. "Two words: Bluejerk, roller brains."
"That doesn't make sense!"
"Never said it was."
The two flew into the air, slashing and hitting one another. The crowd is amazed that this is happening but is glad that they aren't up there right now, probably in the way of the action.
"If you have any relatives, they must've dropped you up for adoption!" Spike laughs while performing a Sonic Kick like move.
"I'll show you something commoner! Become Sweet!" Blueblood bellowed off before he fired a spell from his horn.
"Wooh," Spike yelped before he used his beam saber to amazingly, block and reflect the attack away from him towards below.
"Looks like Spike's managed a quick save!" Nick responded while not looking back at the fight?
"Yeah, but that attack looks to be heading for..." Johnny spoke from narrowing his eyes a bit to see something about to happen, the attack were coming for...
"Duck," Pinkie Pie shouted off for her and a worried Johnny to duck under the table.
"What duck? I don't see..." Nick was looking around clueless to what was about to happen here.
"Prsuvhmm...poofvhmm..." Suddenly, only Nick didn't dodge out of the way as BlueBlood's spell zaps him and then a poof of cloud blocks many others' view.
"Haaugh," Johnny & Pinkie Pie gasp from coming out of hiding and noticed a nasty surprise.
"What? What's wrong? Is my hair okay? What's with the suspense?" Nick asked from not being seen by camera as he didn't know what happened.
"Ugh Nick, you were hit by that spell, and um..." Johnny tried to slowly begin to explain the matter of what happened, but...
"What? WHAT! Quickly! Somebody get me a mirror!" Nick waved off his hands as if wanting to see himself if that spell did something to him.
"Okay! Here's one!" Pinkie Pie responded without a fuss and brought a full size mirror to the game.
"Wait Nick; don't look in the mirror!" Johnny tried to warn his friend not to see what has happened.
"What? Why ever not, huh," Nick responded before he soon had a good look at what was...him. "AAAAAHHHHHHHH..." We see the reflection of Nick, screaming, except from him and the real deal, Nick Diamond was appearing have been changed into; a gingerbread man.
"I told you not to look in the mirror." Johnny slaps his forehead in seeing his pal didn't listen to him.
"Sweet Planet Markin-Nelly; I've been turn into a life-size living Gingerbread!" Nick yelp off shock to believe this, Blueblood's spell turn him into a sweet-treat.
"Wow! You sure look tasty!" Pinkie Pie responded with a smile at seeing Nick's look at another angle.
"Now hold it, you wouldn't eat me on national television, would you Pinkie Pie?" Nick held up his hands worried, would the pink pony do such a crazy thing?
"Ugh...nope," Pinkie Pie responded with a thought and smiled to give an answer.
"Then what are the bibs, knives and forks for?" Johnny pointed below the pony's left hoof cover exactly as the guy described for those wanting to...eat.
"Um...to play throw silverware while blindfolded?" Pinkie Pie looked up her eyes to try thinking of something and made a quick save for herself.
"This is great, what's my social life going to be like as a sweet man? I mean sure, ladies dig a sweet-gentlemen but this is not what I had in mind!" Nick was not complaining off what was going to happen to him now in his condition.
"I'm doubting it's that crucial on any scale, Nick." Johnny dryly looked to his exaggerating friend.
Back to the fight as both fighters landed back into the ring, Spike frowns as he remarks, "Where the Tartarus did you learn that?"
"That's for me to know and you to find out!" Blueblood laughs as he fires more of the spell at Spike who dodges each shot. "Hell, when I'm done with you, your bitch of a girlfriend wouldn't want to get your hooves fat along with her stomach," Of course, that insult was the straw that broke the dragon's back, figure of speech.
"That's it; I'm beating you with this little trick!" Spike roared off in having enough of this, time he end the match. "KA-ME..." Spike position his claws together by his right waist line.
"Uh-oh," Nick yelped in looking at this with some worry.
"Is that thing what I think it is?" Johnny responded in feeling this was a big scene.
"HA-ME..." As the baby dragon spoke these words, a concentrated energy sphere was forming between his claws.
"The Kamehameha Wave, that's a super-move Spike used against his brother Lorcan, boy was it a surprise for the ages!" Pinkie Pie spoke off with a smile in knowing that move all too well.
"HAAAAAA..." Spike roared off the final vers. of his attack as it was ready. "Prsuvhmmm..." Soon the attack was thrust forward, going down to tackle the dragon's foe.
"Waaaughh..." Blueblood cried forth as he used all his magic to cast a strong shield. "Bamgruvhmm..." But still, the shield proves to only take so much force...as it was breaking apart. "Haaugh...Waaugh..." Blueblood was heard yelping with a shock expression and then to add more surprise...parts of his back dexterity was...breaking apart from the forceful attack. "Qrsuvhmm..." Soon the shield was overpowered and force through, inflicting a great surmount of damage to the target. "I'LL BE BAAAAACK...IT'S NOT..." Blueblood was trying to speak while his face was looking a bit 'woobly' and his voice was deepening with a weird expression of his loose gap mouth. "Gruvhmfruvhpm..." Then in another shocking display, Blueblood's body yelped off in a slow motion as many seen the body was breaking apart bit by bit while he gave out his last words, "Oooooooverrrr…yeeett-haaaaugh..." As his voice echo off in the distance, the body was scattering further and further until particularly, that Blueblood...was no more.
"Okay! I don't need to be a doo-doo-brain not to see from a death as fine as that stunt, that the winner is Spike!" Mills Lane spoke off from the bright and flashy display to yell out in raising a hand, in pronouncing, that Spike is the winner.
"Incredible! Spike has blown Blueblood to pieces of his atoms scattered to nothingness!" Nick spoke off in wide surprise in the action they saw that took place.
"Hey, this seems Deja Vu! Like Twilight performed something similar, and then we duck out? Hugh, wonder why?" Pinkie Pie responded in almost recalling something vaguely familiar of this display, wonder why?
"I can give you one guess. THAT!" Johnny suddenly got worried to point for Pinkie Pie and Nick to notice..Spike's attack was done yet. On the contrary, it was heading down for the box office where they were.
"Waaaugh..." Soon the three scream their lungs out while jumping to get off the box office spot just in time.
"Thrusvhmmm.../Booomgruvhmmm..." The attack Spike launched blasted right through the spot and outside to where afterwards, it exploding off in a bright flash...hopefully, nobody got caught off in it.
"Well, there goes the box office seat. Huh Nick?" Johnny responded from picking himself up to dust himself off the dirt. "Um, Nick?" He responded again when Nick didn't, as he and Pinkie Pie looked around.
"Johnny! HELP," Nick's voice called off as we see he was being chase by...little colts and fillies with drooling mouths while some latch onto the gingerbread person. "I'm being chased and being eaten by ponies with sweet-tooths!" The guy called off in a panic, this spell of being a living gingerbread was not for him especially when he'll be eaten alive.
"Oh, I'll help! Save some for me!" Pinkie Pie hollered out before giving chase after Nick.
"That's even WORST!" Nick cried out from noticing...Pinkie Pie was almost having the same sweet interest look in what he might taste like, just great.
"Well folks, while we try to fix our broken box seats, get ready for the next match between a cow-girl & salesman brothers bash with guts & tech." Johnny spoke off in about to go to commercial while announcing the next fight contenders. "So, stay tune!" The man pointed off to the screen, just as Nick was being dog-piled in the background scene, and just as the 'Celebrity Deathmatch' logo covered it with the screaming and cheering pony fans.
We go to the logo of the show as we overlook the crowd. An announcer voice spoke up, "This show is brought to you by...the Crystal Empire! Now back after 1,000 years of depression and all that crap."
We go back to the booth as Johnny, Nick (back to normal) and Pinkie Pie are there. The first man exclaims, "Hey folks. Welcome back to Celebrity Deathmatch, broadcasting live here in Equestria. Nick has a nasty experience before the first commercial break but thankfully we got him straighten out before he became someone else's dessert."
Nick, turning to Celestia who is nearby, comment, "Thanks for changing me back before I could melt or be eaten, Celestia."
Celestia nods and comments, "You're quite welcome, Mister Diamond. I still don't know how my now-late nephew learned that spell, but I DO know how to reverse it, as you have seen. I've also learned how to CREATE literal tons of chocolate without turning innocents into it; comes in real handy for satisfying those with a major sweet tooth without anybody getting hurt."
"Think you going to be okay, Nicky?" Pinkie asks Nick in concern. "You were bitten by some colts and fillies...and maybe me."
"Nah, I got a few bite marks but nothing medicine can't fix." Nick comments as he put some medicine on the bite marks, cringing a bit. "Damn it."
As Celestia left, Johnny looks to the camera, saying, "Folks, before we go to our next fight, let's go to Fluttershy who is having a post-fight interview with the previous winner Spike."
Fluttershy is outside the dressing room of Spike as she opens it, saying, "Spike, sorry for interrupting but..."
Fluttershy find Rarity feeding Spike a good sized plate of quality gem. The white unicorn, seeing her friend, comment, "Oh, Fluttershy; Hi; I was giving my Spikey Wikey a reward for defending me from that brute. He has definitely more than earned it."
Fluttershy comment, "Well, at least I'm not walking in on a more awkward scene like I did with Rainbow Dash and Applejack."
"Yep, so what's up?" Spike asks Fluttershy with a smile.
"Well, good work on your win against Blueblood. How does it feel?"
"As Rainbow Dash would say '20% Awesome'; Blueblood lives up to his name...his blood, blue and all over the damn mat! Ha!"
"Oh, Spikey, you are so funny." Rarity giggles while nuzzling Spike a bit.
"Spike; Any more comments; Spike," Fluttershy ask puzzled, but saw that Spike and Rarity are getting 'very friendly' with one another. Turning to the camera, she comments, "Uh, this may take a while."
In one of the rooms, Pinkamena and Golden Heart were chatting, the latter said, "I am surprise you did not go out there and try to eat him."
Pinkamena shrugs as she explains, "Well. 1, I do not eat my friends but I will to my foes if they try to hurt my friends and you. 2, I have a little more control than Pinkie Pie has. And 3, I would be seen by everyone that was watching the chase."
"You still surprise me even what you told me when we met."
"True after all it was thanks to my friend that I am not evil." Pinkamena comments (she means the Pinkie Pie in her world that showed her the good things in the world).
Back into the booth, we see the commentators as Johnny said, "All right, folks, time for our next fight which pits Applejack against the Flim-Flam brothers."
"This fight has been a long time coming since the attempted takeover of Sweet Apple Acres." Pinkie said with a smile. "And while the unicorns got the number advantage, that won't defer this cowpony. Applejack is tough as nails and is willing to prove it."
"From what I heard, Flim and Flam brought some weapons to help them out in this fight." Nick explains. "Of course, they can't use their big apple cider machine as per the rules."
"Nope! Not like it will help. Let's go down to the ring, fillies and gentlecolts!"
We see both fighters in the ring as Applejack is stretching. Johnny is heard saying, "Ladies and gentlecolts, in the apple corner, here is the Element of Honesty, the cowpony whose heart is a big as her hooves...Applejack!"
The audience cheers as Applejack grins. We go to the Flim Flam brothers as Johnny continues, "And in the con corner, here are Flim and Flam, the Flim-Flam brothers!" The audience boos.
"Looks like as usual, we know who the favorite here tonight," Nick comments on the booing. "But give those brothers credit. They got the equipment needed."
"Let's get this show on the damn road!"
Applejack and the Flim-Flam brothers go up to Mills, both of them are ready for anything. He comments to both sides, "Okay. I want a good clean fight. No broken Pinkie Promises. No calling in your big brother OR your friends for back-up. No weaponized apple cider machines besides from what I told you to use in the locker room; just good-old-fashioned Earth pony muscle against old-fashioned unicorn magic. Two against one; the winning side will be the side that's still breathing after the fight is over. Now, let's get it on."
The bell rings as the next fight begins.
Applejack gets in a fighting stance as she said determinedly, "All right, yew two scamming varmints, you're goin' down!"
"My, my, Miss Jack is getting a bit arrogant, eh brother?" Flim ask Flam with a smirk.
"I say, let's show her a lesson." Flam agrees as the two brothers held out a cannon.
"Hey, are those two stealing my bit?" Pinkie asks with a frown. Just then a punching box came out, hitting Applejack in the face and sending her to the ring post. "Oh, never mind!"
"Ooh, 'dat smarts!" Applejack commented as she recovered from the blow.
"I'm telling ya, Flim and Flam has put off a dastardly move there." Nick comments. "But Applejack isn't taking that one lying down."
"Okay, yew varmints, time 'ta hit 'de hay." Applejack remarks to the brother dryly.
"And what the hay does..." Flim was cut off as Applejack kicks hay piles right into him and Flam. "Ooh!"
"Ouch, the Tartarus," Flam exclaims as Applejack kicks the brothers with her lower legs.
"Yeah, how yew like them apples," Applejack taunts her opponents in amusement.
"Looks like Applejack is taking control of this fight." Johnny said to the crowd.
"Applejack is feeling confident...too confident!" Pinkie said as Flim took his hat off...then hits Applejack with it, slicing her. "Hey, what gives?"
"New improvement, slice hats," Flim laughed as he shows the blade in his hat while Flam did the same thing, "Perfect when dealing with predators and silly fillies like you!"
"Oww! Ooh, y'all are gonna pay fer 'dat!" Applejack shouted angrily.
"Both brothers are throwing their blade hats and..." Johnny comments. Applejack dodges again, causing the hats to miss and cut off someone's head. "Ouch! There goes Honeysuckle's head!"
"That's the only time that girl lost a few pounds in her head." Nick jokes a bit while he and the other hosts laugh.
"Now just try 'dat again, yew... WHOA!" Applejack snapped then yelled out the last word as she narrowly dodged the blade hats, one of them slashing a really tiny bit of hair off her mane.
"We got a bit of oddjobs in the ring, Johnny." Nick comments as the two brothers got their hats back. "How will Applejack counter this one?"
"All right, time 'ta buck yew both up!" Applejack declares as she saw the blade hats coming...then somehow kicks them into the mat floor.
"Hey, you know how much we paid just to make those?!" Flam snaps to Applejack in annoyance.
"Ah don't know, and frankly, Ah don't care!" Applejack snapped back, "Ah'm gonna make y'all regret plannin' 'ta destroy mah family's farm!"
"Some big talk from AJ, but will she backs it up?" Pinkie asks as Applejack got the rope out and swings it.
"Looks like she can, Applejack is swinging her rope." Nick comments as Applejack then tie both brothers up. "And now she got them tied up."
"Here's something 'dat yew don't see me doing." Applejack comments as she knocks both brothers down. "Now let's have a Grand Ponyville Picnic, shall we?!"
"Oh, dear God! It's another grimdark fic in action! And Applejack isn't going for the raping, she's going for the shoving!" Johnny exclaims as Applejack kicks Flam right into Flim's flank, hard.
"Ah don't go fer 'de whole thing but Ah do what Ah please." Applejack remarks as Flam stood up with Flam on his head, covering him.
"I'm telling you, the Flim-Flam brothers didn't make asses out of themselves since their appearance in the "Shreklax". Nick comments, "Which has been removed two times for some stupid reason."
"Yeah! I mean, those administrators are being retards, thinking that there's a real person in 'Shreklax', which there isn't!" Pinkie remarked with a frown.
"Honestly, yew brothers would've been honest ponies if..." Applejack was cut off as both brothers punch and kicks them with their hooves. "Hey!"
"We aren't defenseless, Miss Jack!" Flim comments as he got Flam out of his flank, the other's head is dirty.
"And just for that, we will make you pay ten times fold!" Flam remarks, then yelps as the brother fell over. "Once we get out of these ropes."
"Yeah, yeah, well, Ah done hav ea surprise fer yew two." Applejack remarks as she goes to her ringside and pulls out something.
"What is she up to?" Johnny asks curiously as Applejack came back with what she just gotten.
Applejack comment, "Here's a little something Ah saved fro' a couple o' Apple Buck seasons fer just 'dis sort o' occasion." The mare shoves 'baked bads' down the Flim Flams' throats.
"Now, those are baked bads! If you want the recipe, ask for it from AJ while she is under the influence!" Pinkie comments happily to the camera.
The two unicorn brothers got out of the ropes and threw up. Nick comments, "You are right, Pinkie. Those baked bads are really messing those two big time."
"Whatcha got 'ta say now?" Applejack remarks then yelps as the brothers threw up on her, "Oh now!"
"Ugh, you will pay for that somehow." Flam groans. But he yelps as Applejack punch both him and Flam hard, "Ouch, ouch!"
"No one throws up on Applejack, yew damn bitches o' horsecrap! No one," Applejack scowls as she hits the brothers some more.
"What? Your bitch, Rainbow kept you up last night?" Flim laughs evilly, causing Applejack to shoot smoke out of her snout.
"Oooh, bad idea," Johnny exclaims in amusement.
"Yeah, she's blowing off some steam!" Pinkie said happily.
Applejack somehow grabs both brothers and swings them around, roaring like a mad pony before sending them both into the ring post.
"No one makes fun o' mah gal, yew dick weeds, NO ONE!" Applejack snaps to Flim and Flam furiously. "Yew will regret 'de day yew did 'dat!"
"An excellent move made by Applejack, grabbing both brothers, swinging them around at the same time and throwing them to the ring posts!"
Both brothers got up as Applejack looks ready to charge like an angry bull. They are in big trouble.
"Now Applejack is preparing to impale those two like Bald Bull," Pinkie remarks while she watch the scene.
The brothers looked to be on the disadvantage side now, even with two against one, the apple-crop mare was tough. So, only one thing was left to be done.
"Brother of mine, I believe it's time for our secret weapon." Flim spoke to his brother in seeing they'll need to bring out their last resort.
"I concur the same matter at hand here, brother." Flam responded in seeing that they don't have a choice, it's time to pull out all the stops.
"Secret; what secret are they talking about?" Nick responded off in not following Flim & Flam's discussion.
"Well it wouldn't be a secret if we were informed." Johnny stated off in feeling that was the secret best left unknown until later.
"Hey looky; they're doing something new!" Pinkie Pie pointed in seeing something unusual was about to happen.
"Trsisiuvhmm..." Son they combine their horns to glow extra brightly that blinded everyone else's view. "Poofvhmm..." Then in a cloud of smoke, shielded more of anyone's view...but something was seen behind it.
"Stompvhm..." A loud stomp noise that couldn't have been made from a pony's hoof, no flesh could be it and sounded...metal. Finally, everyone from the audience to participants notice what was behind the smoke cloud.
Appearing before all was some crab-like creature with four legs, two arms and two powerful pincers. The upper half of its body and its pincers are orange while the bottom half and legs are cream colored. It has spikes on its head and has a large lower jaw with teeth-like bumps. Its left pincer is particularly larger than it's right pincer. It stood about 40m tall in Height, 300 Kg in Weight, and hidden in the white eyes with a black oval dot mark are just windows of the control center.
"What in tarnation?" Applejack yelped off shock to see this from out of the blue.
"Gag-zooks; A new opponent has enter the ring!" Johnny exclaimed in shock to see something has gone and happened here.
"A giant crab, really Johnny, since when did this become a seafood broadcast?" Nick rhetorically stated in not fully seeing the situation happening here.
"Say hello to the Kingler, dear Applejack." Flim's voice spoke from the left part of the crab's eye.
"For this monstrosity shall be your downfall!" Flam's voice was also heard from the right eye of the crab.
"Now hold on a minute!" Mills snap off to interrupt this match in looking to inspect this fight in foul play. "I pacifically said in the locker room earlier that only tools made for farm and apple harvesting were allowed to be used in the match. Not some giant crab!" The angry referee stated off that this machine of the Flim-Flam Brothers was not wrestle regulation rights.
"Oh, but that's the best part, it 'IS' meant to grab apples off trees using the pincer system." Flim's voice stated to explain that what's here is for farm usage despite the appearance.
"Followed by a special watering system to clean the apples and leave them fresh and tasty." Flam's voice filled in another portion on what this creation of the brothers can do.
"Plus, it's great for fishing." The brothers responded that this Kingler has grab pincer work and can function for water area spots.
"Pop!" Then out of the crab's corner of inside the pincer claw popped out a dish that Mills Lane caught which was a fresh crab dish to perfection.
"Oh, crab omelet, my favorite! And just in time for my break! Okay, you're good to go!" Mills responded a bit surprised in seeing this tasty dish and decides to allow this match to go on without a hitch.
"Say wha hun? Yer're just letting them bribe ya like 'dat?" Applejack complained to seeing the ref just let this go.
"Young lady, if they made it for farm usage, then it's in the clear. If you wanna complain, tell it to them singing salesman while I eat some missing breakfast." Mills stated this off while he sat in the corner of the audience and was digging into his crab dinner.
"Oh Ah'll gladly do so!" Applejack stared with a stern face at the enemy before her, same brothers, just bigger dealing.
"I don't believe this! Applejack's situation has taken a new turn!" Johnny responded off in seeing Applejack now using her fancy hoof work to keep a distance.
"Right Johnny, instead of two brothers, it's a giant crab!" Nick stated off while Kingler swung a miss right pincer against the Earth pony.
"Come on Applejack, kick some crab!" Pinkie Pie was heard cheering for her friend to win.
"Right, no way Ah'm losing 'ta a crab!" Applejack looked back to her pink friend in assuring, she'll still win this.
"Then try a little of this one!" Flim's voice stated from where the brothers are up to something.
"Crabhammer Away," Flam's voice responded from pulling a lever on the controls.
"Frusvhmm.../Povvhmm..." Then Kingler's left pincer came across the face and swung with such force that it impacted the ring to almost crush it into the ground which, luckily, Applejack jumped away to avoid most of the blow, but what damage?
"Wooh Nelly! The crab has smacked it's giant claw that flatten the ring and shook the entire stadium!" Johnny exclaimed in utter shock in what's happened now, this fight's getting overly intense.
"A surprise feature, this beauty has 10,000 horsepower boost in its left pincer for a crushing force." Flim's voice spoke off in mentioning the machinery's function properties.
"The only drawback is that its massive weight makes it difficult for the Kingler to aim with...almost." Flam's voice stated another fact of their design work but from the bragging, they still had it under control.
"I don't believe this! Applejack's not only up against a crab mecha, but it's like pairing her to fight 10,000 ponies at once!" Nick responded in complete shock, that's a lot of fighters to face one normal Earth Pony.
"Oh boy, if AJ doesn't think fast, she'll be toasted by a mad-crab!" Pinkie Pie yelps in seeing this match is really starting to turn ugly.
"Powvhm-Powvhm-Powvhm..." Now the Kingler was smacking it's left pincer to smack against Applejack, luckily, the mare was strong and quick, but this crab was breaking the ring and the floors to almost bring down the whole stadium.
"HEY you brothers; Quit breaking the ring," Mills shouted from sipping a glass of wine from his crab dish in looking a bit ticked off. "If that ring goes, so do you!" The ref stated that if they have no wrestle ring, then by default, Flim & Flam will lose for destroying it before a winner is announced.
"We'll use our other systems then." Flim's voice mentioned off how the brothers have another trick to use.
"Right, a little Bubble works should do!" Flam's voice nodded in agreement as the Kingler mouthed a bit of it's mouth.
Soon the Kingler unleashed bubbles from the mouth and all were surrounding Applejack to be blind and pop all over.
"Oh, bubbles!" Pinkie Pie smiled for joy in seeing there were bubbles out; that looked like fun.
"Those things may look playful, but they're causing a serious distraction for Applejack." Johnny mentioned off in noticing something going on that was affecting Applejack.
"Right Johnny, the poor girl can't see with all those bubbles in the way while they seem to be making a sting all over, including the eyes." Nick noticed a lot of those bubbles popping that almost knock or blind the Earth pony.
"Augh, yew brothers and gizmos, Ah'll not quit!" Applejack proclaimed in not backing out now, even from this twisted plot.
"What can you do? This machine has a special coating called 'Shell Armor' that protects it from any attack." Flim's voice announce in how this crab mech is strong against any attack.
"Not that it's needed against you, just like you barely stood against the RhinoRex to save your sister & friends." Flam's voice remotely remarks the fact that this pony can't stand against such a creation.
"Wha ja say," Applejack snarled with an angry frown, did these guys just go and say what they said about her sister & friends, which took place during Lorcan's Wrath with the invasion?
"And best of all, this marvel will be in the market for JusSonic's next work with MLP Fanmake series for future notice." Flim wave his hooves off inside the machine in proclaiming a future event.
"And best of all, we get to show it off here before then by killing you!" Flam decrees the idea with a sly smirk, what better chance to show off this model than to kill their hated foe?
"I don't believe what I heard!" Nick exclaimed from watching this match take a turn.
"Yeah, they totally broke the Fourth Wall there while I'm the one to do that!" Pinkie Pie stated off in what she noticed, the brothers were making an aid for the author, that's her stick.
"No Pinkie, I believe they just insulted Applejack with a bad memory." Johnny stated in realizing, being reminded of a terrible past seems to stir up Applejack.
"And looks like it's making her steam up something fierce," Nick pointed down to noticing, AJ was getting angrier by the minute.
"'Dat's it, Ah'm taking yew brothers down…rope-style," Applejack declared off with a serious expression as she brought out her lasso rope for the game.
"Please, we'll easily cut that rope like a butter-knife!" Flim's voice proclaimed how that tool won't beat them.
"Preparing the X-Scissor move, say bye-bye," Flam's voice announced the next move they'll be using here.
"Grusvhmm..." Kingler raised its pincers in an 'X' form while charging up, and was about to fire when...
"Not today!" Applejack remarked off before she spins her rope against Kingler's left leg side which got caught before. "Hruuuagh..." She pulled with all her might at the legs, which were beginning to skid off the floor a bit until weight was beginning to shift a bit too far over for the crab.
Suddenly, Kingler was losing its balance which made the brothers become worried. "Waaaugh..." Flim-Flam screamed out in their falling stunt. "Slsichvruhmm..." Kingler slashed across the ring, leaving a cut 'X' mark before smacking its jaw on the floor. "Breakishvm..." The stunt also caused the eyes to break which were windows and Applejack saw her chance and ran in to jump into the crab.
"Come here yew!" Applejack shouted from being inside to grab the Flim-Flam Brothers by their collar necks, "Clunk!" Then Applejack clunked the brothers' heads together. "How's shock therapy sounding 'ta ya'll?" Applejack responded before pulling a loose wire or two and then stuck one of each in the brothers' ears.
"Yaahahahahaaaaah," Flim and Flam were wailing off while their bodies were lighting up to show their skeletons.
Everyone was seeing the Kingler get up to do a weird dance from being played around. It was starting to short-circuit a bit.
"Johnny, I gotta tell ya, that crab is doing a crabby-dance." Nick responded with a slight smile in what he's seeing.
"Indeed so cause Applejack has turns the tables." Johnny nods in seeing what was happening down in the match here.
"Yeah; Ride em' home, AJ!" Pinkie Pie cheers for her friend for turning the situation. Soon the Kingler thrown it's riders off of it out its eyes back on the ring, AJ furtherest from it while the brothers were basically close by. Both sides were on their last leg to survive, but when the farm girl looked up to notice her opponent's position, she made a sly smirk.
"Well Flim and Flam, looks like Ah tip mah hat off to ya. Been quite a match sparing wit' ya!" Applejack spoke from taking her hat off suddenly, it almost sounded like she was giving up; why?
"What is Applejack doing?" Johnny asked from not believing this side of the display happening.
"Has being in a crab made her crab-crazy?" Nick asked in not believing the Earth mare would throw in the towel now...they want a death here.
"Wow, this is so unlike AJ." Pinkie Pie stated from not following AJ's pattern one bit. Soon Applejack tossed her hat over which started to spin around until...it landed on a certain device. "Qruvhmm..." The Kingler's left pincer moved when the hat touched it upon landing.
"You think calling it quits here will change the match." Flim snapped from standing up, injured and mad now.
"Right, we're not through, the match is still on!" Flam declared with a serious face, they want to end the match with Applejack dead.
"Actually, Ah've already won. Cause while Ah work hard, yew sleazy brothers will be done in by yer're own creation!" Applejack remarked off to say while crossing her front hooves toward and lean her head to have her eyes say 'look behind ya' kinda expression.
"Grugruvhmm..." Suddenly, a moving gear noise was heard that made everyone see...the Kingler's left pincer's weight was coming down from AJ's hat which was over the brothers.
"Uh-ooohh..." Flim & Flam spoke in fear in realizing, they were right under a very heavy pincer of their creation. "Waaugh..." They screamed in fear before they got overshadowed before...
"Crushpruvhmm..." Suddenly, the large left pincer fell and crush the brothers into a bloody mess.
"Wooh doggy, now 'dat's Karma answering mah calling! YEEHAW," Applejack responded after taking back her hat.
"And the winner is: Applejack! By the aid of a large serving of the metal claw," Mills spoke from stepping into the right, lifting AJ's hoof to declare her win while mentioning the Kingler's hand at finishing the fighters to for her gain.
"What an undeniable death scene!" Johnny exclaimed in shocking surprise what has happened here just now.
"Yeah, and I still haven't use all my crab puns today too!" Nick shrug off in seeing this was something else; he had a long list of puns to use with a crab involved.
"Gruvhmm..." Suddenly, Kingler stood up to begin trailing off in a strange manner. Sparks were seen happening all over it, it's still short-circuiting.
"Hey, the Kingler crab thing is walking away on its own!" Pinkie Pie pointed out in noticing what was happening here.
"Let it go, if worst comes to worst, we'll let security handle that walking seafood." Nick waved off to not let something as a 'loose-crab' gets them down.
"For now, it's time we stay tune for our upcoming final event!" Johnny spoke in preparing the next setup that they have saved for last. "It's a match where good VS. Evil of today's present with a foe from the past." The guy was clearly preparing the big announcement of Celestia and Tirek's match to come. "Right here on Celebrity Deathmatch!" Johnny declared off that in a moment, they'll bring their final match for all to see, and not be missed.
Soon the screen changes to the cheering crowds with the 'Celebrity Deathmatch' logo appearing just before...we fade out.
Within a room Golden Heart and Pinkamena saw the match.
Golden Heart comments, "Well I knew one day, one of their own creations would killed them."
"Indeed but now big brother it is time for the final battle and we need to keep the crowd safe along with the others incase Tirek does an evil trick to them." Pinkamena said to Golden Heart seriously.
"You're right my little sister, let's get going."
With that they both head off while Pinkamena is putting on her black cloak and hood.
We return to the show as we see the logo once more. We hear the announcer saying, "Celebrity Deathmatch has been brought to you by the CMC against Bullying Campaign. Join the Fight, Stop Bullying Today!"
"Welcome back to Celebrity Deathmatch, broadcasting live in Equestria." Johnny stated off in letting the viewing audience notice his presence. "We've had some strange twist and turns today." The man stated like any announcer on the events thus far.
Soon an image screen shows the previous matches while Johnny is still talking.
"Firstly was Spike's effort to take down Blueblood by not leaving any of his blood to splatter our ring. And for that, the snobby prince was reduced to atoms." Johnny's voice was heard off in stating what was shown happening to Blueblood who was killed by Spike's last attack. "Then lastly, Applejack somehow turns the tails of fate by relying on good karma, to deliver the bad to her opponents: Flim & Flam, as their death by their own creation squashed them good to where it's running loose." Johnny's voice again spoke in retelling while we see the images of Applejack fighting the Flim-Flam Brothers, up to the point the duo got crushed big time. "As for the Kingler's control situation, that remains to be heard." As that part was mentioned off, a new clip shows Deathmatch staff trying to rope tie the crab-machine, but it went off on another crazy plow through in the building.
Now the situation changes back to the main box office spot.
"Here, we will tell our viewers of the next big fights since Twilight VS. Trixie & Discord VS Chrysalis; isn't that right, Nick & Pinkie Pie?" Johnny declared forth in what's sure to be another big fight scene since the last two stories, but... "Um, Nick...Pinkie Pie?" The man tries to look to his side in why he hasn't heard his co-cast friends sound off, it was weird.
Soon we see that the unmentioned two were in the middle of a Scrabble-like game.
"Just a second Johnny, we're kinda busy." Nick held up his hand to let his partner know that he'll be with him in a moment.
"Yeah, we're playing a game to pass the time." Pinkie Pie responded with a smile while focusing.
"You both realize we're back on the air." Johnny responded a bit dryly in what the two are doing is in the middle of their return.
"Yeah-yeah, I'm almost through." Nick responded before he made a move just before Pinkie Pie did the same.
Soon the pink pony placed her tile to make a word called, 'Schoodled' before announcing. "That's schmoodled for 370 points on my part," She smiled proudly in seeing that she got the goods here.
"Now just a cocky-tail picking minute here; that's not a word!" Nick frowns to slam his right hand on the table to argue what was used here was made-up.
"Is too a word!" Pinkie Pie snaps back in protesting what she used was real.
"Oh yeah little miss pink, prove it! Use it in a sentence!" Nick exclaimed off to want this pony to use this unknown word in one sentence that could even make sense.
"Okay, I will! Wait just a moment!" Pinkie Pie proclaimed forth before rushing off somewhere.
"Nick, I don't think you should aggravate Pinkie Pie." Johnny responded with a worried look on his face.
"Why? She used a word that's not in the dictionary, how's she gonna put it to a sentence?" Nick rhetorically commended the fact Pinkie Pie has herself to blame, so how she gonna prove him wrong?
"Bang!/Boomgruvhmm..." Suddenly, a cannon was fired which made the announcers look back in time to see a cannoball that exploded near Nick's side.
"Waaahhh!" Nick screams off from being blasted outta his chair and part of the box office.
"There!" Below Johnny saw Pinkie Pie with a fired Party Cannon as she spoke this off with a satisfied attitude. "I schmoodled Nick Diamond," The pink pony slyly exclaimed her right of showing Nick how to use a word she made.
"Well, I tried to warn you." Johnny shrugs off his shoulders to let his friend know, he did say something just as Nick sat himself up right.
"Well it don't matter if she found a loop hole, I doubt we'd be stuck saying it." Nick declared off a bit annoyed in what just happened to him now.
"Oh, is that a fact? How about this," Pinkie Pie spoke with a sly smile in seeing a 'chance' be open up for her. "If you use schmoodle in a sentence of any kind, then you have to treat me and any number of my friends to a big-super-duper-fancy dinner!" The pink pony pointed off with her hoof in what this guy will do if he says the word that he doubts is real.
"You're on Pinkamena! It's a deal!" Nick nods in accepting the challenge here.
"Then it's a Pinkie Promise!" Pinkie Pie proclaimed forth what this deal was, it was a promise. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." the pony performed out to wave her hoof, then across her chest to poke her eye there.
"Pardon," Nick asked a bit puzzled in what this gibber-stuff of a promise was.
"It's their special oath, a variation of our own, only without the 'die' & 'needle' lines there." Johnny whispered this to his friend from not understanding pony culture oaths they do that's different from people.
"Yeah sure, I Pinkie Promise," Nick shrug off before just doing the routine of crossing the heart and the poke eye thing.
"Good! Cause I take them very seriously, and if you break it..." Pinkie Pie was slowly cheerfully until...her pupils turn to a golden yellow and scarlet red of a sharp contrast. "YOU'LL PAY!" The pink pony's voice gained a near-demonic echo before...the eyes return to a normal blue color. "But otherwise, we're good."
"Uh-hagh," Johnny was slowly trying to crack a smile with a worried face.
"Ahahah," Nick was more likely nervously scared, even with a little chuckle.
"Hay, what's so funny?" Pinkie Pie asked in seeing these guys were scared of something; but what OR Who?
"Oh nothing, except that now, I see why ponies don't break promises if you're in charge. And that I might understand how making a deal with a devil sends shivers down my spine." Nick reframed to state on what it is that's suddenly gotten him to fear the pink pony in more ways than one.
"Thanks!" Pinkie Pie graciously responded without really catching a glimpse at what Nick just said about her.
"O-kay, trying to move pass this point of terror and move on to tonight's main event." Johnny states slowly and careful in recovering from Pinkie's outburst just as he speaks about the last fight tonight.
Nick nods as he explains to the camera, "For some time now, the ruler of Equestria has been denounced as a coward, a weakling and lazy during the problems involving Nightmare Moon, Discord, Queen Chrysalis and more. She wishes to redeem herself in the eyes of her subjects by taking on a force of evil and also wishes to fight it herself."
"So with the help of the Celebrity Deathmatch Time Machine, we call forth a dark force that will give Celestia a challenge whatsoever: the terror of Midnight Castle of Ponyland Tirek the Abomination."
"Everyone is here supporting Celestia, Johnny. Even the Autobots are here."
A group of Autobots are cheering for her including Optimus Prime. Surprisingly Pinkie Pie is down there, interviewing Optimus Prime for some reason, saying, "I heard you will be fighting Jack Silver in Ponies on Celebrity Deathmatch 4. What are your thoughts?"
Optimus Prime explains, "While I bear no grudge against Jack, I will do what I must to earn the Heart Princess Celestia. I will fight an army of Decepticons alone for her."
Arcee adds, "Plus Jack is a pirate. So in a way, he's getting what deserve."
"I see...oh! The fight is about to start so let's go to the ring thing!" Pinkie exclaims to the camera happily.
We can hear trumpets playing as Celestia flies into the ring as Johnny is heard announcing, "It's time for the Mane Event of the evening; in the sun symbol corner, the Goddess of the Sun, the ruler above all next to her sister...PRINCESS CELESTIA!!"
We hear evil music playing as we see the evil centaur monster Tirek crossing his arms. Johnny said, "And in the darkness corner, the evil monster of Ponyland ever to trot the lands of Ponyland...TIREK THE ABOMINATION!"
"All shall perish!" Tirek exclaims sinisterly to the audience, scaring them a bit.
The fighters trot up to Mills who explains the rules, "All right, listen up. This is the Clash of the Titans but here in my ring, I am the God and what I said goes. Let's get it on!"
The bell rings as the Mane Event begins.
"And the fight has begun!" Johnny announced as Celestia and Tirek get in fighting positions.
"Tirek, my subjects will need to see their princess of the sun as a beacon of hope, not as a coward and a weakling. I mustn't let them down now." Celestia said to Tirek sternly.
Tirek gloat, "I've already fought you, Luna AND Spykoran at the same time before, Celestia, and won. What makes you think you can beat me on your own?"
"Because I have determination, fate, and..." Celestia flew up and fires a blast at Tirek, hitting him back, "And a blast that can even knock a Changeling silly!"
"Nice shot by Princess Celestia!" Pinkie commented.
"Blah, you think that can matter!" Tirek taunts as he fires a fireball from his tail at Celestia, hitting her. "I got a thing or two up my sleeve."
"What sleeves? Tirek doesn't have any." Nick said puzzled by the comment.
"I doubt that's what he means." Johnny comments as Tirek teleports away and appears behind Celestia in the air, knocking her down to the mat. "Ouch! And Celly is down."
"Celestia is getting that overdue back massage...the painful way!" Pinkie exclaims as Tirek stomps on his opponent's back.
"When I'm done with you, the sun will die out and eternal night will reign!" Tirek taunts evilly. Just then, Bulkhead threw a chair at him, "What the hell?!"
Mills Lane calls out to Bulkhead, "Hey, that's not allowed! You do that one more time and I'm kicking your metal can out of here!"
"I'm sorry about that." Bumblebee apologizes to Mills Lane. "I Pinkie Promise it won't happen again."
"Are you trying to get us thrown out?" Ratchet asks Bulkhead in annoyance.
"Well, excuse me for trying to defend Optimus's prize!" Bulkhead snaps at his fellow Autobot in annoyance.
"After I finish Celestia, you pieces of scrap will be next!" Tirek snarled towards the Autobots.
"Ouch! And Tirek goes back to work." Johnny said as Tirek's hand glows, causing Celestia to go flying all over the place. "And now he has controlled this fight."
"Ha ha ha! What's the matter? Not putting up a fight, weakling?!" Tirek taunts Celestia sinisterly. Suddenly the alicorn blows into his face...then the villain begins to sneeze, "Ah...ah...ACHOO!!!"
"Nice move from the princess!" Nick exclaims as Celestia is released from the force, landing back into the ring. "Blowing pepper right onto Tirek's face and making him sneeze."
"How else did she get the nickname 'Trollestia'?" Pinkie asks Nick happily.
"Pretty clever start, Tirek, but I am getting warmed up!" Celestia exclaims as she glows with sun rays, "Figuratively and literally."
"Ha, a pun," Johnny exclaims as she rams into Tirek, hitting him. "Celestia is using the sun's powers now."
"But Tirek isn't letting down." Nick said as Tirek rams into Celestia in a dark aura. "Now this is truly the Clash of the Titans!"
"A perfect title for one of the biggest Equestrian Deathmatches in history," Pinkie remarked.
Both fighters continue clashing at one another, trying to hurt and wipe one another out. Tirek grabs Celestia by the neck and head butts her, sending the alicorn into the ring post.
Tirek gloat, "You are so pathetic that I won't even bother trying to possess you this time, like I did when I made you turn against the ponies you care about the most and corrupt Equestria."
"Yeah, I remember that so consider this payback." Celestia snaps as she flies at Tirek, slashing him with her horn a few times.
But Tirek grabs Celestia by the horn, stopping her magic. Nick ask in shock, "What the hell just happened?!"
"As Lorcan has demonstrated, the best way to stop a unicorn or alicorn's magic is by grabbing their horn." Johnny remarks seriously. "This could be trouble for Celestia."
"Insolent alicorn," Tirek said evilly, "I am unstoppable, and I can never be defeated by you! Princess of Equestria, my ass; they oughta call you the Phony Princess of Equestria and banish you to the sun, where you belong!"
"I won't let...you..." Celestia screams as Tirek hits her a few times in the stomach.
"I've heard enough of your talking. Since I don't have my Rainbow of Darkness, I will settle for this." Tirek comments as he pulls a sword out and slash Celestia, making her scream.
"Where did he get that sword?" Johnny asks Tirek in shock and alarm.
"Wow, Tirek is full of nasty tricks." Pinkie comments, "This is like Past Sins all over again."
Tirek slams his opponent back onto their floor and stomps on her. It doesn't look like he's letting up then the villain blast her.
Tirek comment, "I'm going to break you, Celestia!"
Nick comment, "Tirek is talking a lot like Bane."
Pinkie Pie comment, "That's because Tirek will eventually be playing the part of Bane in Phillip Clark's Mare-Do-Well series."
"To paraphrase the Queen of Hearts, OFF WITH HER HEAD," Tirek shouted as he raised his sword for the finishing blow.
Celestia suddenly fires a blast from her mouth, knocking Tirek right off her and causing him to lose his sword. As she got up, the alicorn snaps, "I don't go down that easily. Chrysalis may have taken me out easily but here, love won't help you."
"Good recovery from Celestia, but she appears to be bruised." Johnny said in concern as Tirek got back up.
"And Tirek is back to his hooves. Both fighters are still continuing." Nick said.
Tirek comment, "Before I kill you, Celestia, you WILL learn to kneel before Tirek!"
Pinkie Pie comment, "Tirek is also playing the role of General Zod in JusSonic's Harmony League of Equestria stories."
"The day that happens is when I'm dead." Celestia said as her horn glows. "And I don't see that happening anytime soon, Tirek the Monster!"
"We'll see about that!" Tirek shouted.
"Tirek is going for another charge and..." Johnny begins to say as Tirek charges, ready to hit Celestia. But then the princess blocks the attack with a glow that stops him. "But Celestia stops him!"
Celestia comment, "I - will - not - give up. As a matter of fact, I have just the opposite problem. I keep feeling like I'm living in a world made out of cardboard. Always having to take constant care not to break something - or break someONE. Never allowing myself to lose control, even for an instant, or somebody could get seriously hurt or worse. But you - YOU can take it, can't you, monster? And, with powerful and reliable allies keeping the crowd protected, there is much less chance of THEM getting hurt. Thus, what we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose and show just how powerful I really AM."
Suddenly Celestia flashes rapidly, making Tirek fall to the ropes hard. The folks has to look away or wear sunglasses to avoid being blinded (the hosts and Mills wear sunglasses). Sure enough, the princess is glowing even better and redder than before.
"Bah! Coward! Using big words to..." Tirek begins to say but Celestia charges in and hits in hard in the chest with a hoof, causing him to spit out blood. "Argh!"
"I think we've heard enough from you." Celestia said sternly as she hits him with various bolts.
"The princess has truly live up to her powers; she is hitting Tirek with everything she got!" Nick calls out as Celestia now grabs Tirek by the tail and sent him to the mat of the ring hard then she flew in and grab one of his horns, breaking it off. Tirek roars in pain.
The audience cheers wildly as Johnny comments, "And the crowd is loving it. The ponies are now seeing their ruler and princess in a new light. She isn't pulling any punches or spells! Celestia is truly a powerhouse now."
"Or legs, which I wouldn't say the same about Tirek!" Pinkie exclaims as Celestia pulls on Tirek's legs hard then slamming him to the ground hard.
"I am not dead yet, bitch!" Tirek exclaims as he jumps into the air barely. "I will still kill you!"
"Tirek fires a wave but Celestia got rid of it!" Nick exclaims as Celestia use her magic to get rid of the wave.
"And now, it's time for Equestria to be rid of you once and for all, via the Gaia's Sun!" Celestia exclaims sternly, ready to end this fight.
Celestia focuses her magic to gather all the energy within the atmosphere and concentrates it into one spot. Pinkie exclaims, "Yay! Celestia is trying out the Gaia's Sun, one blast that is enough to wipe out big meanies or continents!"
"Tirek is trying for the assault!" Johnny exclaims as Tirek fires a blast at Celestia but it got absorbed by Celestia's attack. "But screw it up! And now it is a super-dense high-temperature fireball energy shot."
Soon Celestia lifts her head high and thrust it forward that unleashed her attack forth which impacted and absorbed Tirek inside. "Booomgruvhmm..." An explosion happened from within, and the attacked target could do nothing when taking it...but wail. "GRUUAAARRUGHHH..." As Tirek let off a pit-wailing scream, his body was vaporizing by this sun-resembled sphere that was burning him to ashes until particles of himself were breaking apart before...he was no more.
The bell rings as Celestia lands into the ring. Mills goes up and held her hoof, announcing, "And the winner is Princess Celestia!"
The audience cheers wildly. Celestia pant in exhaustion and comment, "That took a lot out of me. I'm not used to going all out in battle like that. It's tiring, but at the same time, invigorating."
"Well, Celestia has done it, she has beaten a powerful foe and won back the affections, most I think, of her subjects." Nick comments in amusement.
"Eeyup! We all learned that no matter what, we can always save the ones we care for." Pinkie remarks happily to the camera.
"Guess this wraps up everything, huh Nick?" Johnny responded off to his friend in about to prepare to close this show's broadcast.
"Right Johnny, and for once, no explosion, no villain scheme, I think we're in the clear!" Nick signs with much relief, maybe now, they can end this broadcast without any jinx ups. Things were finally looking calm here.
"Beep; Beep! Beep," Or so it was before an alarm and red siren lights went off.
"Oh for the love of...who set off the alarm?" Nick groans to wave off his arms in not believing this, what's wrong now of all times?
"We better go to video to find out." Johnny stated with a curious expression as they need to understand this problem.
Soon the screen in front of the match ring was turn on. And there was a hidden below storage unit filled with explosive fireworks.
"Hey, it's my hidden supple of fireworks below this place!" Pinkie Pie responded with a smile in seeing her stash of fireworks.
"You have a stash of fireworks place directly below us?" Nick asked off shock that this pink pony actually did something like that.
"Yep, for party celebration reasons, of course," Pinkie Pie responded off in agreement as that was what she was planning on.
"Then what is that?" Nick pointed from noticing a shady character near the fireworks that looked like...
"Great Zambizia; It's the Kingler!" Johnny yelped off to exclaim that it was the runaway machine of the Flim-Flam Brothers, directly below them in their firework storage.
"And is it sparking off, well sparks...near fireworks?" Nick asked from noticing, Kingler was submitting sparks from its loose wiring.
"Gokey-gokey, keeeyyyy," Kingler was making weird sounds while spinning it's pincers around before... "Prsuvhmm..." Suddenly, the crab bot burst in flames, scattered into pieces. "Ssisivhmm..." But on the screen, we can see that...from the explosive flames, lots of crates were lit on fire...and so were the fireworks.
"Folks, I hate to say this, but we're about to be schmoodled!" Johnny slowly exclaimed with cautious worry that they may end up going up in a bang.
"Waaugh...!" Pinkie Pie cries out in horror, this was terrible.
"Aaaugh great, now you're saying it too Johnny," Nick groans to slap his forehead, now Johnny used that word that the pink pony used.
"Pow! Bang! Bam-Bam! Boom," Suddenly, the entire wrestle ring was getting covered with loose fireworks.
"Eek! Incoming!" Fluttershy yelped from flying overhead, that was close from one firework almost got her.
"Yippy! Christmas in July," Pinkie Pie suddenly smiled to cheer in what was happening. "Or is this the opposite; July in Christmas?" She contemplates another way that this could be a celebration; which was it?
"Frsuvhmmm..." More fireworks zip bay, making lots of folks run away crazy to get away.
"Wooh! I ain't about to be cooked for no fireworks!" Mills Lane yelped back from almost getting hit by a firework, and seriously turn to Celestia for something. "Yo Celestia, I hate to say this to you in any disrespect in front of your pony subjects, but it's high time you get that flank hinny of yours in gear to help get us outta here!" The ref was issuing that the princess of the Sun get moving to save them and he ain't being very polite or noble when in this situation.
"Such a request shall be done, mister referee. Everypony, hold on!" Celestia nods in understanding the situation, and knows how to act. "Glsowvhmm..." Her horn glowed to cover the area, but as it did, only the ponies were levitated off the ground.
"Waaugh-Aaaahhh.../Aaauhaaaugh..." Even Johnny and Nick were floating by the princess' magic along with Pinkie Pie.
"Frsuvhmmm..." Soon everyone was zipping through the one exit spot Celestia took. "Boomgrvuhmmm..." Which soon the entire ring was exploding in a giant fireworks grand finale moment.
"Waaaugh...Gaaugh..." Soon Johnny and Nick cried out loudly in being last to get out from the explosive force that knock them back.
Soon we see the entire wrestle arena once again; total, but on the plus side, the fireworks display was still going on so it made a pretty sight. Now as many ponies were a bit dirty from that explosive act, Nick and Johnny came out of the gravel that was splattered over them
"Ah man, we totally got schmoodled!" Nick responded off to look to Johnny in seeing what has just been done here.
"PLOWVHMM..." Suddenly, the ground exploded with Pinkie Pie popping out in a surprise manner, "AH-HAH! CAUGHT'CHA IN THE ACT! You said schmoodled just now!" She pointed to Nick in hearing him say Schmoodled just now after they got out in a sentence.
"Whah? But I...it was just that..." Nick was about to protest, he didn't mean to really use that word, but...
"Nick, best not drag this out, remember the promise and the consequences if you go against it." Johnny pat his friend on the back to look back at the serious glares of Pinkie Pie, this was something they both knew; don't break a Pinkie Promise or else.
"Ugh, right." Nick sighs to groan in defeat at seeing he's caught. "Okay Pinkie Pie, you win, I said schmoodled, so how many friends you bringing?" The guy wanted to know, how many he was treating to dinner?
"Hold it!" Pinkie Pie stops Nick before getting a mega-phone out before using it, "Hey Everypony, good news! Despite what happened to the wrestle place, as cheery as the fireworks are, we're all going to be treated at a super-duper fancy restaurant, and I'm inviting all of Equestria ponies on behalf of Nick Diamond's generosity!" She announced off for all of the ponies to hear this great news.
"Yeaaaahhhh," All of Equestria's ponies cheered for this news, except for one person.
"Wait-wait, WAIT; All of Equestria's ponies are invited, I thought it was only a few friends!" Nick yelped in wide eye shock in realizing what was going on, Pinkie Pie was planning to bring a whole country of ponies to dinner; that's randomly crazy!
"Don't be silly, I have friends all over Equestria!" Pinkie Pie smile to say that she could never have too many friends.
"Uuuagh," Nick groans to stare at the ground in seeing where this'll lead him. "Johnny, at my rate of payment, and how much these ponies eat like horses, they'll eat me outta every cent I got! They'll probably eat my dollar bills like they were salads!" The guy whines off to tell his pal that when this starts, the ponies will eat him out of a lot of money.
"I feel your pain Nick, but as it stands, you have to keep your promises, no matter what." Johnny patted his friend on the back, stating it's a tough thing, but someone's gonna do it.
"Yeah, and with Royals of the Pony Sisters, saying no now will get me in serious trouble." Nick slap his forehead in that he can't say no to Celestia or Luna, that would be disrespectful and the ponies kick his butt all the way to next-week's Sunday.
"Well folks, this here's been another demonstration of matches we never expected to see." Johnny spoke in turning to the camera in making the last announcement for their show today.
"And biggest damage yet is how fast my cash can keep up with wild horses chowing it down." Nick also responded in letting the people out there know, he's in real deep here now.
"Well who knows, if the bill needs work, you can help find gems to pay bills while we plan to fix the wrestle stadium." Pinkie Pie popped in front of the two to happily state this part out on what they can do to help Nick's shortage on cash and paying bills.
"Which, hopefully, isn't a curse that every-time we do this show in Equestria, it doesn't come tumbling down on us," Nick rolled his eyes in thinking that they'll be stuck with the wrestle building falling on their heads whenever they are done broadcasting.
"So until we get this wrestle arena back up and running again, I'm Johnny Gomez." Johnny stated forth in stating who he is to the viewers.
"And I'm the sucker of bets, wild promises and chaperon to paying ponies bills. I'm Nick Diamond." Nick declared forth in who he is and of his situation here.
"And don't forget about me too! I'm Pinkie Pie here!" Pinkie Pie responded to get the most close up view of the camera, "Saying Good Fight and Good Night!" The pink pony finished off that last closing line for their show. And just as the title of 'Celebrity Deathmatch' appeared where the rumble stadium once stood, oh well, it'll be awhile till it's done for the next show.
The End
As we see the credits rolling, we can hear Nick calling out, "Coming next time on Celebrity Deathmatch: Jack Silver vs. Optimus Prime! Dr. Lizardo vs. Smaug! And Garble and his goons vs. the Diamond Dogs vs. the Changelings! It's coming soon!"
Cast list
Jim Thorton: Johnny Gomez
Chris Edgerly: Nick Diamond, Mills Lane
Andrea Libman: Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Pinkamena Diane Pie
Cathy Weseluck: Spike the Dragon
Trevor Devall: Prince Blueblood
Ashleigh Bell: Applejack
Samuel Vincent: Flim
Scott McNeil: Flam
Nicole Oliver: Princess Celestia
Victor Caroli: Tirek the Abomination
Tabitha St. Germain: Rarity
Orlando Bloom: Golden Heart
Peter Cullen: Optimus Prime
Sumalee Montano: Arcee
Johnny Yong Bosch: Bumblebee
Jeffrey Combs: Ratchet
Kevin Michael Richardson: Bulkhead
Author's Note
Another story, another explosive ending, eh folks? All right, it's Christmas time...or Hearth's Warming Eve in Equestria's case so here is the next MLP story...
"The Spirits of Hearths Warming: It is another Hearth's Warming Celebration, but this time, the celebration gets crashed by the ghosts of Princess Platinum, Commander Hurricane and Chancellor Puddinghead. Even with the help of the spirits of Clover the Clever, Smart Cookie and Private Pansy, can the Mane Six stop the three feuding ghosts from ruining the holidays?
Villains: the Ghosts of Princess Platinum, Commander Hurricane and Chancellor Puddinghead."
Until next time, read, review and suggest!
This story has references to the previous Ponies on Celebrity Deathmatch as well as the actual ponies' show.
'Cheerilee's Garden' and its sequel 'Scarlet Harvest' are reference. DO NOT read them, trust me!
This chapter has a few bits mentioned from the actual show, the shave and a haircut bit, the Unforgivable Spell from the Harry Potter series, as well as the first 'Ponies on Celebrity Deathmatch' story, the Grimdark fic 'Spike's Descent' and 'Lorcan's Wrath'.
The sweet spell Blueblood used is a close reference to Majin Buu (Fat Version) using a technique that turn its victims into chocolate or other candy coated sweets.
The 'don't look in mirror' reference came from the Jackie Chan Adventures.
Blueblood's death kill is similar to when Cell from Dragonball Z perished in a similar matter of attack by Gohan.
This chapter has references to the actual show along with another grimdark fic that starred Applejack and 'Lorcan's Wrath'.
Yes, folks, my 'Shreklax' had been referenced due to the fact that a website that I will not name has since removed it twice.
Kingler is one of the Pokemon and this chapter references something Team Rocket would do.
This story has references to 'My Little Pony's Megan', 'Tirek Reborn', that Tirek will play the part of Bane in Phillip Clark's Mare-Do-Well series and will be General Zod in my Harmony League of Equestria stories.
Celestia's final attack on Tirek is a reference to the Digimon series.
