Not a day goes by that I don’t find myself in pensive thought. Waiting for a sign, some form of tranquility to soothe my depression. I can never seem to find the answer, no matter how much I plead. Sometimes I believe there are no answers, no easy way out. It is as if the world is ignoring me and I am forced to play along by it’s childish rules.
Complaining won’t get me anywhere, at least not now. It’s too late and I've failed. Failed as a father, a lover and a stallion. If only things could go back to normal.If only I could see his beaming smile again. But I know it’s a frivolous apocryphal to believe things will ever be the same again. I can no longer feel the blissful warmth of happiness. No longer being able to wake up to a perfect family. And why should I? I deserve nothing but the cold dark dungeon which host my thoughts. How I cope with this way of life is a mystery. I know the only way out of this Tartarus, but I hope it doesn't come down to that. Not for me, but for his sake… my son.
It is inevitable that things die. Way of living, morals, and even the ones we love the most. But I won’t stand up for it, I cannot succumb to this. What atrocities have I committed? Which heinous deeds have I been accused for. On which accounts do you hold these charges against me. Can I bring him back?
I know believing in this would be futile. But, how about some miracle? I find myself standing out in Luna’s night; staring at her beautiful stars. Every time I do this, tears swell up in my eyes. Those immaculate stars only remind me of my son. I would die to see him again.
There is nothing I wouldn’t do to see him again. His cheery mood and loving smile. The way he could melt a heart just by begging for an unhealthy snack. Those dreams that he promised to achieve. If anything, if there is a higher power, you could have taken me. I’ve seen all there is to see, did all there is to do, and lived all there is to live. But Shooting Star… he, he was just a filly. Not even a month from his eighth birthday. Why, the only thing I can think of. Just why did something like this have to happen to a filly with his whole life ahead of him.
It’s been four agonizing weeks since his death. I try not to think of his name, it brings too many painful memories. My wife, ‘Starry Night’ and I have been arguing ever since his death. The argument is the same every time. She lectures that I should get over it and then I proceed to call her heartless. I just don’t see how she could go on living in the world of happy rainbows and pristine joy.
Starry was the only one who cried at the funeral, yet I was the most affected. When I look into her eyes, I do not see the mare I once called lover. All I see is the cold dark reflection of myself. We were once the ‘Star Struck Lovers’ and now it’s, ‘Shrewd and the Hag’. Though she is still pretty, looks does not count for love all of the time. She still looks as beautiful as our university days. Her elegant violet coat and silky maroon mane can make a stallion drool. I could never tell her these things though, at least not now. Too much has been lost, never to be found.
I trotted toward my front door and stopped to get a breather and glanced at my watch.
*11:42 PM*
I opened my front door and began to walk toward my fridge. Nothing too special, just some chopped lettuce, celery and asparagus. I grabbed a few stalks of celery and nibbled away at it. Slowly chewing, but it was difficult, because my throat prevented me from swallowing.
The lump in my throat and hot tears swelling up my eyes prevented me from indulging a snack. There was nothing that could distract me from my memories, of him;Shooting Star.
“Dad?”
“Shooting Star!” I was startled. “What are you doing up so late? You know you have a big day tomorrow.”
“Well yeah, but I uh couldn't go to sleep."
“What’s the matter Stars?”
“I got butterflies in my stomach,” Shooting frowned.
“Oh,” Blazing put a hoof on his shoulder and lifted his chin, “Look son, I know you are going to do great and i’m not just saying this to make you feel better.”
“But what if I fail? I’ll be held back, or worse… summer school!”
“You’ll pass, I promise you.”
Shooting star focused toward the refrigerator, “Dad, do we still have some of those cupcakes?” Shooting began to slowly trot to the door.
“Oh no you don’t stars,” Blazing grabbed Shooting Star by the tail, “You remember what happened last time.”
“But that was because Pinkie Pie put extra sugar in the frosting. This time will be different!” Shooting Star put on a winning smile that seemed mind controlling at the same time.
“Eh… I don’t know stars, you know how your mother gets.”
“But it can be our secret.”
“The odds will not be in our favor if I allow you to snack.”
Shooting pouted, “Pleeeeeeease Dad.”
It’s either get scolded by Starry, or reject that face. This is a really tough choice.
Sigh, “Okay, but only one cupcake and straight back to bed.”
“YES!” Shooting whispered loudly.
Blazing Eclipse chuckled, well now Starry will have an excuse for me spoiling him.
“So… dad, why are you awake?”
“Well you see, i’m getting rid of the monsters that lurk in the shadowy veils of the night.”
“M-M-Monsters?”
“Yeah,” Blazing said giving Shooting Star a cupcake and a glass of milk, “I need your help. That is, if you’re brave enough.”
“Pffft, i’m filled with brave, its just, do the monsters bite?” Shooting Star drank his milk frantically.
“Not if you are asleep,” Blazing ominously said. “If you are asleep the bad monsters will go away and by Luna you will have sweet dreams kiddo.”
Shooting Star finished his cupcake and gave his father a loving smile.
“Alright lets get you tucked in.”
“Aww.”
“You don’t want those monsters to get you do you?” Blazing smirked.
“NOPE!”
They both trotted over to his bedroom.
Blazing flicked on the light switch, “Okay, here you are.”
Shooting jumped into his bed.
Blazing turned on the nightlight in the corner of Shooting’s room.
“Now I need you to guard the house of any monsters while I rest my muscles.”
Blazing grinned, “Affirmative General Shooting Star. Any other orders sir?”
Shooting giggled, “Yes, I also need another snack.”
“Sorry sir, but I am under strict orders not to give more snacks under the snack embargo made by president Mom.”
“Aww.”
“Come on kiddo, time to get you tucked in.” Blazing sat on the edge of Shooting’s bed.
“Now, you know you have a big day ahead of you.”
“The Cloudsdale flight academy test,” Shooting Star groaned.
“I’m sorry that your mother and I cannot be there to see you blow away the scores.”
“It’s okay.”
“You’re gonna do great, I just know you will be a show stopper.”
Shooting Star put a weak smile on.
Blazing tucked him in and kissed him on the forehead, “Goodnight son, I love you.”
“Eww none of that, love is for the weak.”
Blazing chuckled and began to trot out of the door and flicked off the light switch.
Shooting Star yawned, “Goodnight dad.”
“Good luck tomorrow,” Blazing whispered and closed the door behind him.
By now I was freely crying. Whoever said the phrase,’Sticks and stones break my bones but words will never hurt, should jump off a bridge. These memories are sharper than a dagger and hit like a bludgeon. I felt like the world was on my shoulders. Weighing me down until I was fully paralyzed. Starry must have heard my sobs because she walked in the kitchen groggily.
“Will you keep it down? I need to get some sleep!” She hissed.
“Well look who decided to show, Starry, how are you?” I felt anger rising in my chest and began to stand up.
“Oh I was doing just fine, quite well, until I heard somepony crying like a filly.”
“Only reason I was crying was because I thought of you. Warning thinking of Starry Night may cause uncontrollable crying, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Call your doctor if you experience any of these symptoms,” I sarcastically said.
“Oh buck you, I married a stallion, not some baby.”
“Newsflash, Starry Night; the local pediatrician, married a baby. There is a pedo on the streets everypony. Lock your doors.”
“Why do I even bother, you fall apart and I get all the blame. Logic!” She fakely chuckled.
“Well you sure aren’t cooking a decent meal.”
Starry Night punched Blazing Eclipse in the face. Leaving a swelling eye almost immediately after contact.
“I’m leaving you, I can’t stand your horseshit any longer!”
I just laid on the kitchen floor with a sadistic smile.
“Gotta love Monday’s aye?”
After a few minutes, Starry Night walked back into the kitchen with red eyes and lots of suitcases. She was wiping her eyes with a damp tissue. I felt kind of compassionate, but then I remembered the incessant pain in my right eye and disregarded that thought. I could see a folded note in her hoof.
“I-I uh, just here!” Starry threw the note at me and trotted quickly out of the house.
I sat upward and unfolded the note lying beside me.
Blazing
These have been the best years of my life. I do not regret marrying you.
But recently things have been kind of hectic between us, so I think we should see other people. I just can’t go on living with constant misery and remorse. I miss Shooting Star too, but that cannot be an excuse to stop living. I only hope you realize this as well. I’ll need help filing a divorce. I really hope you find a special somepony; somepony who can cope with the relentless torture. Goodbye forever Blazing Eclipse.
Starry Night
I didn't know how to react. One side of me says that what she is saying is true. The other side of me says she is just overreacting. I mean she can’t be serious can she?
I re read the paper again and again.
She is leaving me, this sudden realization hit like a mountain. There were new tears now. I have lost another person dear to me. Did I have it coming?No of course not, she was the one who had it coming. She lost out on something great.
But why do I feel like the one who was hurt the most?
It was a beautiful day for a beautiful event. Except for the fact that i’m single and that is the worst thing ever for a day as this. Hearts and Hooves day. I decided to go to a new town for Hearts and Hooves day, Cloudsdale mares are all taken and I was beginning to feel a bit love sick. Not that I want love. Maybe just a good time and a few drinks. Sad that my buddies couldn't come along. They found some new fillyfriends and I didn't want to feel like the burden of the group. So here I am in a new town called Ponyville. Seems cliche for a town name, but I won’t judge. I heard that it is an earth pony town and its very dirty, but it can’t be any worse than Manehattan can it?
So I flew slowly across the love stricken town filled with jubilation and celebration. It was a happy sight, a sight that could warm your heart. Everywhere I could see ponies side by side walking slowly and chatting up a storm. A few were sitting down on benches at a park. Love was in the air and it didn't placate my jealousy. So many of them happy to be around each other and to embrace their love for one another.
Sigh i’ll never find a special somepony.I decided to land by a park fountain. Looking at all the decorations. Pink heart shaped balloons were everywhere. You could see weather ponies in the sky making the atmosphere perfect. I sat at an empty bench, preening my feathers and looking at the beauty surrounding me. I could feel the fountain spray a refreshing mist around me.
“Perfect,” I said without realizing it.
Looking over the area again, there wasn't many ponies around. Most of the ponies were walking on the sidewalks, side by side.I could see a couple on one of the benches, with one of the mare’s in an odd sitting position. Might as well go see the rest of this place. As I began to walk away something caught in the peripheral of my eye.
I turned my head to see a lone pegasus leaning on a tree. She was staring at the rest of the passer-bys with a gloomy face. The other thing I noticed about her was that she was gorgeous. Her coat was a shade of violet and her hair even gleamed in the shade of the tree.
Maybe she read my thoughts because she looked over at me and quickly turned her head again.My cheeks were really warm and I was severely nervous. I don’t even know this girl and i’m blushing.
She continued to look at the commotion in the streets.I slowly trotted to her with shaky legs. What am I doing?! She probably has a special somepony, I should just drop it.
But my legs continued to move on their own without my consent. Go the other way! I pleaded to my legs but to no avail did they listen to my demands.
They finally stopped, but I was already two hooves away from her. The tension was indubitable.
“Um hello?” The mare said quizzically.
“Oh, er, yeah. You see my legs are malfunctioning and they trotted over here,” I nervously smiled and blushed.
She chuckled, “You should see a doctor.”
“Maybe i’ll go right now,” Blazing Eclipse struggled, but his legs wouldn't budge. “Hee-he um, I can’t move.”
“Here let me help you.” She grabbed my hoof and with no effort lifted it. “They seem fine to me.”
“You truly are a life saver,” I stared into her hair matching eyes and she reciprocated, “What is your name?”
“Starry, Starry Night.”
“Wow,” My eyes were still fixated to her’s, “a beautiful name for a beautiful mare”
Now it was her turn to blush.
“Might I ask what is your’s?” She began to shuffle her hooves with a light smile on her face.
“Blazing Eclipse.”
A moment went by that felt like forever. Me staring into those deep maroon eyes, but I know it couldn't have been more than five seconds. A stallion could get lost in those deep, never-ending eyes. It was mesmerizing.
“Are you- I mean, do you have any plans?” I asked hoping she would say no.
“I-I um?” She looked tense and I was scared of her rejecting me. “No.”
I turned around and let out a small victory screech, “Yes!”
Starry chuckled and walked over to me,“Do you know Ponyville well?”
We began to walk on the sidewalk.
“Nope, not at all, I’m visiting from Cloudsdale.”
“I’m from Canterlot.”
“That would explain the accent.”
“Accent? I have an accent?”
“Yup,” A melodious accent I thought. “So what brings you to town?”
“Well I heard about this small town. It sounded like a perfect place to be.”
“Small towns are perfect?”
“Well I uh… I didn't want anyone to see me alone on this day. Many aspersions would be cast.”
“Tell me about it.”
They both chuckled.
“Hey maybe we can find a directory. More sightseeing and luncheon, i’m starving!”
Starry Night lightly laughed, “You and me both.”
I had no idea where we were going, nor how to get there. Maybe I can ask some passing ponies.
I saw a couple walking by us and I took the opportunity to ask.
“Excuse me, but do you know a place where me and my lady friend here can get a meal?” I looked over at Starry Night and smiled which she returned.
“Oh yes, absolutely darling place called ‘SugarCube Corner’. They have exquisite taste,” The mare said flamboyantly.
“Where might we find this ‘SugarCube Corner’.”
The other mare of the couple spoke up, “Ya go straight up this here sidewalk, then you take a left at the cross way. You’ll see sweet shops everywhere.”
“Thanks.”
Me and Starry walked down the sidewalk.
“I think I know that mare,” Starry spoke up.
“Who? The orange one with the hat?”
“No the white one, I think that was Rarity.”
We reached Sugarcube Corner, the smell of sweets filled the air.
“Smells soo good here,” Starry said.
“You’re telling me. Come on before the line gets too long!” I smiled and grabbed her hoof.
“I've come to the conclusion that you like sweets.”
I nodded my head vigorously, “ I have a sweet tooth.”
I stared at the menu overhead and began to drool.
Starry chuckled, “You have an addiction for sweets?”
“Yup, that would explain why I walked over to you.”
Starry blushed.
The front of the line cleared and I was ready to order.
“Okay I want a-”
The pink mare gasped.
"Are you new ponies? I love meeting new ponies. My name is Pinkie Pie and this is where I work, this is my pet alligator Gummy," She lifted her alligator, which seemed to come from nowhere. "What are you names, oh I am so happy to see you."
Starry and I were confused by the antics of the crazy pink mare.
"This is Starry Night and my name is Blazing Eclipse"
"We would like a-"
The pink and jovial cashier interrupted Starry and began to rub her temples, “Hmmm. You want a strawberry shortcake with cotton candy ice cream."
“Wow, how did you-”
“And Blazy wants a double fudge sundae with five cherries on top and extra chocolate fudge."
Now it was my turn to be shocked, “How did you-”
“Because me and oatmeal went on this really cool adventure to find insight about talking mountains, but oatmeal-”
Me and Starry were left dumbstruck at her fable.
The pink mare continued to ramble until a mare with a name tag of Mrs.Cake appeared.
“I’m terrible sorry for Pinkie Pie’s story, she tends to do this a lot. I’ll be quick as a jiff with your orders,” Mrs. Cake said and smiled.
“It was no trouble,” Starry said returning the smile.
We trotted over to an empty table, as soon as we sat, Mrs. Cake already had our delights finished.
I drooled a bit at the sight of the wonderful food.
“Um, Blazing? You’re kind of drooling,” Starry laughed.
“Huh, oh, sorry.”
We dug into our meals like wild animals, but resulted in both of us having brain freezes.
“Owwie” Starry lifted a hoof to her head.
I laughed, “Ha ha you got a brain freeze,” I took another bite of my double fudge sundae. “Ahhhh my head, make it stop!” I begged, cringing at the frosty pain.
We both laughed like there was no tomorrow.
“Revenge,” Starry pounded the table, laughing uncontrollably.
“Revenge this,” I said as I took a bite out of her cake.
Starry gasped, “My cake!” She grabbed a spoonful of ice cream and flung it at me.
“Gahhh! That’s cold!” Blazing grabbed some frosting from the cake and smeared it on her muzzle.
"Oh it is on!"
Soon there was a food fight in the whole restaurant.Food was flying from all directions.Cake’s were flying and the shop was surrounded with war cries and rallies.Starry and I couldn't keep the grin off of our pudding covered faces.
“STOOOOOP,” Mrs. Cake screamed at the top of her lungs.
The whole restaurant was silent except for the sound of Pinkie Pie throwing a pie at Mrs. Cake.
“Ooopsy.” Pinkie Pie weakly smiled and started to back away slowly.
I whispered in Starry’s ear, “We should go.”
Starry nodded.
Starry and I slowly and quietly walked toward the entrance.
“Where do you think you’re going? You forgot to pay,” Mrs.Cake’s nostrils were flaring.
I dropped sixty bits on one of the tables. Which was more than enough, but I was afraid of what Mrs.Cake might do if I didn’t tip for destroying her restaurant.
“Gotta go now bye!” Starry and I ran out of the entrance as fast as possible.
We started laughing like fillies.
“Did you see me knock that guy out with that kid’s birthday cake!” Starry said wiping a joyful tear from her eye.
“You hit that guy dead in the eye!” I began laughing harder.
“Weren't you the one who accidentally threw a slice of pie at a baby?”
“Oh dear Celestia I think that was me. My sides, I can’t breathe!"
We laughed even harder.
“And then Pinkie Pie threw a pie at Mrs.Cake, her face… priceless!”
“Stop it I can’t breathe, are you trying to kill me!” Starry was crying from laughing so hard.
“What’s so funny pudding face?” I chuckled.
“Hey, you have pudding on your face too.”
We both wiped our faces off. It was beginning to get dark, but I didn’t want the day to end. At least not now, that i’ve found her. She was special, and I now see her not only for immaculate beauty, but for a really good friend.
“Lets do something else before the day ends,” I suggested.
“Alright, but I really must get back to Canterlot soon.”
“It’ll be soon. I just want to make the rest of tonight special.”
Starry didn't reply but just walked up to Blazing and slightly leaned on him for support.
They both walked together slowly.
I know now what it feels like to be in the loving embrace of another. I hope i’m not assuming too soon, but I think I may be in love. As silly as that sounds, it’s true. I can’t deny what I feel for Starry Night. What we have done for the last two hours has been one of the happiest moments of my life. I can only hope she feels the same.
It was beginning to get dark and I was feeling nervous. None of the places we walked by had any setting to it. All we could see were closing shops and other couples.I then spotted a small bridge with a few light post on the both ends of the bridge. It looked perfect and a small river was just below.
Starry and I walked to the middle of the bridge, staring at the river. Seeing tiny tadpole silhouettes. There was a full moon right in front of us. The view was breath taking.
Starry leaned her head on my shoulder and whispered, “It’s beautiful.”
“Luna sure did a great job,” I said.
There was no more words to be said. They held each other, basking in the warmth emitting from the other. Only able to hear the crickets of the night and the croaks of the frogs. It truly was perfect and I never wanted it to end. The best part of this whole experience was that everything I did, was done with her.
Starry was the first to break the silence, “I have to head back to Canterlot. My parents will be worried sick if I don’t return.”
She looked into my eyes and mines into hers. “Thank you,” I said, “for the best day of my life.”
She blushed.
“No, I do believe the pleasure is all mines.” Starry leaned into Blazing’s lips and he returned the offer.
Our mouths met in open embrace and I could feel the fire burning from my heart as I leaned more into the kiss. My heart was pumping vigorously and each second i felt as if it was going to explode. Her lips tasted of the pudding from SugarCube Corner, but so softer and sweeter and not mushy. I never wanted it to end.
She pulled away, leaving us both panting for breath yet smiling in content.
“When can I see you again?” I pouted hoping we could see each other again.
“I think my parents can wait,” She said as she kissed me again.
Tears continued to stream down my eyes. How could I have been such a fool. I let her go. The love of my life, and I let her go. So much for staying together when times get tough. I can’t feel anything, everything is numb. I do not want to be in this reality of pain and death. It’s too cruel.
I decided to go to the only place where I knew I could clear my head. So I grabbed my bits and headed to the Cloudsdale Bar. Clumsily due to the tears blocking my vision.
The walk was excruciating because the only thing my body wanted to do was fall down and cry.
When I made it to the entrance, I sat on one of the stools waiting for a bartender.
“Blazing Eclipse?” A bartender walked in front of Blazing.
“Oh… hey Joe,” I sulkily said.
“You’re not looking too good there pal.”
“Yea, but I know just the cure. Give me the hardest stuff you got.”
“Look Blaze, you don’t look good and you probably aren't in the right mindset. I can’t just give you some hard booze. You might be dangerous.”
“I wouldn't hurt a fly. Now do me some customer service and get me your hardest beverage.”
“Okay. But um, just to let you know, I have a quick and easy to get weapon. So don’t try any funny stuff.”
“Aye aye captain,” I replied.
Joe came back with a shot glass and a bottle that said, ‘Deadly Tequila’ and it had a skull for a logo. I’m guessing that skull is for good luck.I took a shot and immediately coughed, “Gaak, ugh,” I groaned.
I poured more shots and took the pain that my throat was begging for me to stop.My head was dizzy after only four shots, but at least I wasn't thinking about her.I scoped out the bar, staring at all of the ponies. Some of them were celebrating, hurting my ears every time I heard the clank of a toast. Others were just drinking and smiling.Enjoying each others presence. I felt envious and hatred toward them. How could they go on living so peaceful when others are going through hell? They are completely oblivious to the fact that Celestia didn't make an oh so perfect kingdom.
I slammed down another glass. I’m pretty sure my vocal cords are broken, but even if I could talk, all that would come out would be a slur of nonsense.
By now the whole bottle was gone, but I still pretended there was more and kept pouring nothing into a glass and drinking nothing.
I blacked out.
“Alright son, today's the day Shooting Star makes history,” I said, turning on his room’s light.
“Huh? What?” Shooting groggily said.
“Breakfast is on the table. I’m gonna go get eat,” I said as I trotted out of his room.
Shooting Star walked out of his room and sat at the table.
“Morning champ.”
“Hey dad,” Shooting began to chow down on his oatmeal, “do you have any tips for me for the test?”
“Hmm.”
I never really was a flyer, just a weather pony who had only a wing power of seven. Flying never was my passion. I’m more of a chill guy who takes things easy. Why bother doing flying when I never was going to need it for the rest of my life?
“Well I have a few, but it’s mainly the things you are taught in school.”
“Oh come on you have to have a few tips for me.”
Starry Night walked into the dining room and pecked Blazing on the lips, “How are my two men doing today?”
“Good,” I said.
“Nervous.”
“Why so?” Starry asked.
“Well I don’t think I will do well on the test.”
“But me and your father have seen you fly millions of times. You are always great.”
“I guess, but there are so many good flyers. Many of them are bullies.”
“Just ignore them and keep your eye on the goal,” I said.
“Your father is right you know, I used to get bullied all the time, but if you just ignore them they will back off.”
“I hope so.”
We finished our meal and I was walking outside of our front entrance. “Come on Stars, time to go.”
Shooting Star walked outside the door.
“Lets go for a race, it would be good practice for you,” I suggested.
“Alright, but i’ll take it easy on your old man bones,” Shooting Star snickered.
“What!? This old man can still fly circles around you.”
Shooting Star put on a competitive smile, “Prove it.”
“Okay, i’ll do the countdown. 3 2 1 go!”
We raced into the air and Shooting Star was right behind me, gaining speed as the muscles in his wings awoken. He passed me and I decided to stop going easy and just go medium on the little filly. I extended my wings farther apart and increased my velocity. I turned my head to see Shooting Star straining to catch up to me. I slowed down and flew side by side and shot him a smirk.
“So much for old man bones aye?”
“Pft, I just didn't want to cause a tornado or something.”
I chuckled.
We made it to the academy with a lot of time to spare for the test.
“Well here’s my stop.”
“Yeah I guess so.”
“Now get in there and make me proud.”
Shooting slowly walked into the academy without looking back.
Such a good kid.
I flew over to my job at the weather factory. It is a pretty entertaining job. I have loads of friends who I work with and seeing how the weather is breathtaking. I began my day just as any other day. I pushed a lot of clouds around.
Doesn't sound too hard, but it can get dull. Pushing clouds in certain areas just to make the scenery for ground ponies happy. Not to mention watering farm fields, but it’s rewarding when you get the occasional passerby to thank you for making their crops grow, or a young couple to look at the sky and appreciate it’s beauty.
An hour passed and I think I was due for a break.
“Ah.” I relaxed on a cloud. Laying back and enjoying the blue skies and puffy white clouds. This is how I relax every break, when i’m not working my flank off or eating, this is what I do at work. What other way is there to spend it? I was at full peace and had no worries. Everything was peaceful and quiet besides the birds chirping.
“Blazing!” I could hear a faint voice.
“Blaziiiiiiing.” The voice was getting louder.
I sat up and turned my head to see Cloudchaser; my co-worker, calling my name from a distance. I wondered what she wanted? She doesn't usually yell in the wee hours of the morning.
“Over here,” I shouted.
Cloudchaser flew over to me, “Blazing you better get to the Ponyville hospitable now.”
“What happened?” My heart was racing .
“It’s your son h-he-” Cloudchaser put a hoof on my shoulder.
As soon as Cloudchaser said those words, everything else in life became irrelevant. I flew as fast as I could to Ponyville, hoping that it was just a small cut, a sprain on the knee. Whatever the injury is, I hope it’s nothing serious, but from the look on her face when she told me it was my son. She looked concerned.
I reached the Ponyville hospitable and ran toward the attendant.
“Where’s Shooting Star?!” I frantically asked.
“Oh my,” The attendant said, “room 516, hurry.”
I ran to the nearest elevator and practically punched the 5th floor button. That attendant, she said… hurry. What does she mean hurry? I just hope it’s nothing but a flu shot.
The doors opened and I ran down the hall, looking at the numbers on the doors. 510, 513.I could see nurses surrounding the doors.
Oh no. Oh no no no.
“What the hell happened to my son!?” I yelled at the nurses.
“He-”
I don’t have time for this, i’m going to go see my son. I walked into the room to see a horrific sight.
“S-S-Shooting Star?”
Starry Night was crying on the floor, leaning against the wall.I slowly walked over to Shooting Star’s bed, tears were rolling down my cheeks.
“Star? Oh no no no, this can’t- what the hell happened to my son?!”
A nurse walked over to me, “ We didn't get much of a description, but he fell two hundred feet when he was doing a flight academy test. He survived, but four of his ribs are broken, both of his hind legs are broken. He has a concussion and one of those ribs punctured his lungs. He has lost a fourth of his blood and is now unconscious.”
I placed a hoof on his bed.
“Son,” I cried freely, “will he live?”
Knowing that whatever comes from her mouth is the words that will mean life or death for my son. I can only pray that he will live and be healthy. To still be there in my life. To grow up and become the first astronaut to walk Luna’s moon. He was going to make it to the stars. Shooting Star, is destined for greatness not something as low as death. Death cannot hold him down.
The nurse lowered her head, “I’m sorry, he’s just suffered too many injuries and lost so much blood.”
I stared at the heart rate monitor and was sobbing loudly, which caused Starry Night to cry even more.This can’t be happening. No, this isn’t, I refuse to believe this.
“You’re a bucking liar,” I angrily approached the nurse, “Do your job and heal our son!”
The nurse shivered, “I-I’m terribly sorry, but there is nothing I can do. Let me get Dr. Vix; he knows more than I do.”
The nurse trotted out of the room quickly.
I walked over to my wife.
“Starry? What happened to our boy?”
Starry hugged me and I openly embraced. I began to stroke her mane and try to soothe her.
“H-He fell, and they found him in a plain with blood everywhere,” She sobbed once more, “They say his wing twisted when he was in mid-air.”
“Our boy might die,” She said with her voice cracking.
“No, no he won’t, he’s gonna survive and stay in our lives. Don’t worry Starry,” I tried my best to calm her, but I needed to be calmed as well.
Dr. Vix walked in the room.
I trotted toward him. “Doc I need him alive.”
“Look I understand your reaction, but there is nothing I or anypony can do.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit,” I angrily hissed. "That's my son!"
“I’m sorry but there really is nothing we can do. We have done everything we could do, but blood loss is a serious matter. Not to mention his lungs will fail and well-” Dr. Vix sighed, "I'm sorry, this shouldn't happen to nopony."
I turned away and looked back at Shooting Star. His unconscious body breathing into a machine with a mask over his face. He looked peaceful, but his breathing was ragged and it hurt me so much to see him in this condition. I walked slowly over to his bed and brushed away his hair that was covering his eyes
“I’m so sorry Stars,” I sobbed once more “I should have came to see you fly just like the other parents who could show up.”
Starry walked over and leaned on Blazing Eclipse.
“Why Blaze? Why did this have to happen? He was a good filly and he gets this?”
I nuzzled Starry and held her close to me. I knew that no words could help this catastrophe. We stood in each others embrace, tears streaming down both of our eyes.
All that could be heard was the doctor walking away, our sobs, and the heart rate monitor which beeps were now slowing down. I knew what was coming and from the horrified look of Starry, she did too. I just held her tighter and buried her face into my coat.
The beeps went from every second to every three seconds. Then to every five seconds.
And finally the incessant high pitched cacophony which signaled the death of Shooting Star.
Starry fainted.
I kissed Shooting Star on the forehead, “Goodnight son, I love you.”
I could hear a faint voice which seemed to be leaving the room. The voice sounded like Shooting Star. His invisible apparition slowly leaving me forever. All of those dreams he promised me are now lost forever in the deepest and darkest of abyss.
“I love you too daddy.”
I was awoken by a hazily slur of shouts and being shaken vigorously. I could only make out a few words, Drunk- get up- home.
“Huh, what?” My head was ringing and I felt the urge to throw up.
“Hey buddy, get up, it’s 5 AM!” A new bartender was yelling.
I sat up and noticed that I was laying on the ground hugging a bottle of tequila. My head was spinning and I could smell urine all around me. That would contribute to my sticky feeling most likely.
“Wha? Hold on let me just-” I tried to stand upright and fell toward the bartender for grip.
“Get off of me, you smell like piss!” The bartender pushed me away which led me to fall backwards.
Being pushed was not a lovely way to say good morning and I was angry. Angry and had a massive hangover. I stood up again feeling even more dizzier and charged towards the bartender with all of my might. To no avail he uppercutted me as I tripped over my own hooves. Everything was fading to black after that and I fell asleep.
When I awoke I had a mild hangover, but it was nothing compared to earlier. Everything was white and my eyelids burned by the sudden light. Once my eyes adjusted to the bright illumination, I could see that I was lying down on a uncomfortable bed. There were paintings on the wall covered with plants. There was a sticky note on my chest. It was still very hard to concentrate with a hangover, but I knew the note was actually a ticket.
Public indecency and for attacking an innocent civilian,1500 bits.
Well isn't this just fine and dandy. A ticket for something I had no control over. This makes perfect sense, I get drunk and the police expect me to know from right and wrong. That bartender had it coming, he interrupted my nap. Now i’m in a hospitable, with no idea what to do. The worst part is that this room reminds me of his room. Guess I could go get drunk at another bar though. Yeah, sounds like a great plan.
A nurse walked into the room, “Oh you’re awake, i’m sorry about the ticket.”
“Thanks,” I grumbled, “can I get out of here?”
“Yes you can but-”
“Cya later.” I dashed out of the room, but my hangover was still evident, so I hit my head on a wall. The sudden urge to get drunk until my brain cells were gone was a new feeling to me. Though I still dislike the strong aftertaste, it’s a great way to clear my head.
Once I made it to the front entrance, I was stopped by the attendance clerk.
“You need to sign here and here.” She waved a hoof toward a clipboard with my name on it.
“What’s this for?” I asked confusingly.
“It’s your bill; 300 bits.”
“What!?” Oh great now I have another bill. I have no idea how i’m going to pay for all of these bills. Ever since I’ve taken more days off of work, the bits just didn't come in like they used to. In hindsight I can see the repercussions. I had no idea how I was going to pay for the bill, but there was liquor calling my name.
I sighed, “Fine.”
“Be careful next time kid, you can die from alcohol don’t ya know?” She ridiculed me.
“Well lets just hope it doesn't come down to that,” I plainly said and trotted out of the hospitable.
Unfortunately there were no other bars in Cloudsdale besides the ones inside strip joints. Sigh, I really didn't want to look at other mares right now, especially after my breakup with her. There isn't any other place to go to and I am becoming antsy for some hardcore liquor.
I trotted over to the extremely loud strip club, drooling over the thought of more booze. I paid my fee to get inside, but was running a bit dry on bits. Oh the irony, but I think a hundred should get me more than my fill.
As I stepped inside I could smell a strange odor of salt, beer breath and sweat. There were three mares doing the dirty, but pleasurable deed to a pole on the front stage. Stallions were howling like a timber wolf at the moon. And in the far corners of the club, there were lap dances in session. The sight of all of this made me sick to my stomach.
I walked over to the small bar at the back of the club,diverting my eyes from the stage.
There was a stallion bartender cleaning shot glasses.
“Hey, got any hard liquor?” I asked gloomily.
“Coming right up,” He grabbed a bottle, that looked more like moonshine than anything professionally made, “So what’s the occasion?”
“Eh...” Didn't think telling him that I just want to fry my brains would be a good idea so I lied. “Nothing much, though I should get a sip before checking on the ladies.”
“Ah, good.” He nodded and set down two glasses and poured the liquor in both glasses.
I gripped a shot glass in my hoof and threw my head back as I swallowed the strong beverage.
“Gah,” I groaned. “That’s pretty strong stuff you got.”
“Yup, mixed with sweet apple cider from the Apple family.”
The drink was so strong, with a hint of apple for an aftertaste. I felt buzzed by the second shot.
“Hey, I need two more shots.” I pounded the glass on the hard counter.
“You sure? That stuff is so strong, it only takes two to get you going,” He said while pouring two more shots.
“I’m no lightweight, trust me.” I lied, i’m fairly new to this drinking business. I only drank when there was a celebration at work and that was only light beer that comes in cans.
I took another shot, feeling lightheaded. But it just felt so right.
By the eight shot, I was out of it. Barely being able to talk correctly.“Hey! you, s’need nother shot!”
“Look, I don’t like where you are going with this drinking business,” The bartender said in a concerning voice.
“Dunt wurry bout it, i’m fine!” I angrily retorted
“I think you need to go home,” The bartender said while taking away the glasses.
There was still the whole bottle on the far left of the counter. I took the opportunity to grab it while the bartender was cleaning the glassware. When I stood up and tried to walk, there was an earthquake. I think, but the earth was supposed to be controlled by the pegasi, so I didn't worry. I lunged for the bottle of liquor as if it were a falling baby and chugged at it.
“Hey! What are you doing!” The bartender yelled and tried to take the bottle from me.
I dropped the bottle and fell on the floor looking for it. When I found the bottle, I drank the already half empty bottle. The bartender hopped over the counter to pry the bottle from my lips. Strangely he stopped and had a shocked face. Also I couldn't feel anymore for some weird reason. Everypony within the area stopped and gasped at the sight. The music and howling of stallions also stopped.
“Somepony call the ambulance!” A pedestrian screamed.
“Mother of Luna, he’s having a seizure!”
Everything drifted from there, no more panicking or screams. Only peace, the last thing I saw was a mare in horror. Her mane was maroon and her coat was a light violet. All I could think of before I blacked out was of her; Starry Night.
It was a star filled night and the moon was brightly full. The streets were embroiled with street lights and fancy ponies. Albeit I shouldn't be really surprised to see so many fancy ponies. It is Canterlot after all. Tonight I am taking Starry to a four star restaurant. Some place called the ‘Madeleine Cuisine’. I will admit that it’s pretty expensive on my end of the bargain, but it’s a small gesture compared to the things I would do for Starry.
This night is going to be perfect, compared to all of our other dates. We usually just go for a stroll across the park, or chat it up at a coffee shop, when we have free time outside of the university. But the best thing we do, is to go to our special place. Starry and I only go there once a month, but when we do, it’s magical. It’s nothing out of the ordinary, but it’s where we had our first kiss.
We have been dating for two years now and I must say that they have been the greatest years of my life. I think it’s time that I finally show her how much our love means to me. For tonight is not just any normal night. It is the night I propose to her.
“Well, here we are,” I said as we approached the entrance of the posh restaurant.
“What are you waiting for? There is food waiting inside!” Starry said as she grabbed my hoof and ran inside the restaurant.
“So much for formality,” I grumbled.
“Pshaw, it’s a place for eating, not standing around bigoted.”
“Can’t argue with that logic.”
When we opened the door, there was a smell like no other. I didn't think salad could be made that way. So much season and slightly cooked to perfection. You could hear the tiny clanks of glassware filled with wine, signaling a toast. Ice sculptures of swans and a tiny ensemble of violinist who played immaculate music. This place was more than I imagined. I can only wonder what a five star restaurant would look like.
We walked toward the receptionist. A medium sized stallion with a tuxedo.
“Good evening. May I have your names?”
“Yes, I am Blazing Eclipse and this is my lady, Starry Night,” I said as formal as possible.
The receptionist looked through his clipboard full of names and reservations.
“I am sorry, but there doesn't seem to be a Blazing Eclipse, nor a Starry Night in any of the list.”
“What?!”
“What are you talking about, we reserved a spot weeks ago,” Starry chimed in.
“I am terribly sorry, but the list never lies,” The receptionist said stoically.
“Who’s the manager of this joint I demand I see him!” My nostrils were flaring.
“I’m sure you’ll find that he will say-”
“Just bring him here.”
The receptionist went to go get the manager which left a lot of angry ponies waiting behind us.
“Blaze dear, can’t we just go to another restaurant?” Starry said.
“No, I paid good bits for that reservation and tonight is supposed to be special.”
“But tonight is already special, spending it each other is what counts. No matter what the restaurant.”
Damn I couldn't argue with her. She had a point and I didn't want her to see me upset.
The manager walked over to the desk and looked at the reservations.“I truly would love to help, but there is nothing I can do.”
Great just bucking great.
“Pricks,” I muttered. “Come on Starry, lets go.”
My head was low and I was disappointed how this whole ordeal played out. This isn't fair, tonight was the night my whole life would change. Now it has been utterly crushed by the simple fact that our names weren't on a sheet of paper.
“Blaze? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I guess so, its just that was our dinner. When I don’t get food when I need it… things happen.”
Starry giggled.
We walked over to a bench and sat down.
“Tell me the real reason, besides food and bits.” She looked at me with a scrutinizing glare.
I sighed, “Tonight was supposed to be special Starry, and I failed,” I frowned.
Starry leaned in and nuzzled me, “Oh Blaze, every moment I spend with you is special. You don’t have to go out of your way to impress me.”
I gave her a quick kiss, “Thanks Starry,” I hugged her tighter. “I don’t know what i’d do without you.”
“Yeah, I am pretty irresistible aren't I?” she smirked.
“Don’t push it,” I chuckled.
“So what was supposed to make tonight of all nights special?”Starry asked with a beautiful twinkle in her eyes.
I scratched my head, “Um I well, you see,” I procrastinated as much as I could.
“Well spit it out,” Starry giggled.
I might as well just say the four words and get my embarrassment over with. But is this even a good setting? A bench near a sidewalk filled with the sound of talking ponies and laughter. What if she were to say no? No I can’t think like that. I’m just gonna say those words. No going back now.
I sat on one knee and grabbed both of Starry’s hooves. She looked confused, but was also blushing for she knew what must have been coming as well.
“Starry, w-will you marry me?”
Starry looked like she was going to faint, she gasped and the twinkle in her eye returned. Tears began to swell up in her eyes and she said that magical word that made my heart flutter.
“Yes! Of course I will, yes!” She leaned into my lips with a kiss that was more explosive than our first.
Open mouth and french kissing.The love emitting from both of us was almost visible. There was nothing that could take me away from this feeling of warmth and joy. For the love of my life will be marrying me.
We both pulled out of the kiss, panting heavily, but with wide grins on our faces. There was no need for words as we held each other. Only needing the same love from the other to keep on living.
That day, everything in my life felt complete.
There were no words to describe my pain. It felt as though my stomach has been turned inside out and I had the constant need to throw up. Once my eyes re adjusted, I could see that there was a tube going down my mouth. I was gagging at the feel of a vacuum down my throat. It was unimaginably painful. The vacuum stopped making a noise and the tube was pulled slowly out of my mouth. I felt the need to cry and sit in a corner. Once the tube was fully out I threw up and noticed my head was turned sideways by a doctor. What happened? I just remember going to a strip club. Now I go through the worst experience of my life?
“He’s good,” The doctor said wrapping up his stomach pump.
“Oh Celestia, my everything hurts. What happened?” I said sickly.
The doctor turned back toward me, “Well son, you overdosed on liquor and had a seizure. We sedated you and then pumped your stomach.You’re very lucky to be alive.”
I looked outside of the room to see the bartender and a police pony talking. The bartender looked nervous.The doctor opened the door and began to speak with the two. I could only hear a little of the conversation.
“He’ll be fine, but we have him on suicide watch though,” The doctor said optimistically.“What were you thinking giving him eight shots of hard liquor!”
“I-I uh didn't know, he said he could handle it.”
Their conversation faded and I was in deep contemplation. I could have died, yet I am not bothered. What is wrong with me? Was I trying to kill myself?
I started to cry softly, trying not to make anyone notice.
My life is gone, Everything has gone to shit. My son is dead, my wife has abandoned me and I have nothing to live for. I've cried for four painful weeks. I want to stop this torture, this pain, sorrow and remorse. I am tired of living like this, like there is nothing left and I am forced to cope while the world ignores me. My problems and my lost are walked over while other ponies live with no worries. Safe and sound in a fake world. I am the lone one in this reality. No one knows my pain and no one should never know it. It would be obscene for knowledge of this to go out in people’s hearts. Sure you may see a newspaper about how a pet died, or a grandparent died peacefully in their sleep, but how about the things I have gone through?
I find myself returning to the foreboding memory of them. My family... no, my life. They were everything to me, I now realize that. How could I overlook their love? How could I just ignore them by getting drunk. I'm no lover, not a father, nor a good pony. I am scum, lowest of the low. If I could just see Shooting one more time under the stars again, if I could tell Starry just how much she meant to me and how sorry I am for neglecting her. This is no way to live, every breath I take, cruelly tantalizes me about the past. I wish I died when I overdosed, because I would finally be at rest.
I looked around at the room with teary eyes, looking for something that could distract me from my sudden realization. I turned my head toward the right side of my bed to see a table. I stared at the table in shock. I looked for a distraction, but I found an answer. I just hope my family can forgive me.
The table consisted of a 50 ml syringe and a bottle.
I looked at the contents of the small glass bottle filled with white liquid. With a tear rolling off of my chin.
*Morphine 100 mg/ml 1500 mg*
I stared at the bottle for a little longer and took a quick glance at the door. They were still talking, backs turned to me. I grabbed the syringe and the bottle and began to extract the contents of the morphine.I filled the 50 ml syringe fully and carefully inserted the needle into my arm and pushed down the handle.
I couldn't feel anything at first, but I didn't allow this to stop me from continuing. Not even stopping to check if anyone was looking. Removing the needle, I filled another syringe and took the second shot.
By now, I was beginning to feel numb and my hooves were a bit shaky. I kept at it.
I injected three more syringes and my body felt at peace. Everything around me moved at an extremely slow pace. All I could think about was my family.
I started to cry once more as I inserted the sixth shot into my now swollen arm. The doctor and the police pony ran into the room, but it was already done. I pushed down the handle one last time. I could hear strange, slurred voices coming from the doctor. The doctor was touching me, at least that was what I saw him do, but I couldn't feel anything.
Everything was silent, dizzy, but silent. The room began to get darker strangely, but I had no idea why. Things began to get hazy and the doctor’s voice became nonexistent. Reality was slipping from my grasp and I didn't hesitate to let go.
Everything was tranquil and lovely. I felt like nothing could ever stop this feeling. Even the numbness stopped and I could see Shooting Star and Starry Night standing next to each other smiling at me. The sky was clear blue, not a single cloud in the sky. The area was were me and Starry first met. I could still feel the refreshing fountain's mist spray on my coat. I was so happy to see them again.
"Dad, what did you get me for my birthday?" Shooting beamed at me.
I hugged Shooting Star, "Birthday? Oh," I facehoofed, "How could I forget!"
"Typical Blaze," Starry said as she smiled at me.
"What can I say?" I kissed Starry on the cheek, "Guess I really am old huh squirt." I stared back at Shooting Star.
But even they flowed away. Transitioning into black particles.
As I descended into the dark abyss, I remembered all of those great things. Those happy moments in life, how it all affected me and made me the pony I am. There were only the good memories to remember. If only things would stop getting so dark.
The whole room was pitch black except for a vague image of my family. Starry's lustful smile and Shooting's beaming grin. Starry began to fade into the opaque abyss. Just as Shooting Star began to fade from my life, I remembered it was his birthday. How could I forget my son's birthday?
I smiled, looking at the remains of his beautiful grin.
Happy birthday Shooting Star.
The End
Author's Note
So I had an idea and transformed it into something. Don't know if there is a word for that, but it's what everyone does. I still have an ache in my head, I know that I can do so much more than this. Better stuff and longer story telling, but alas I did my best and I would love to know what you thought of it.
Was it sad? This is what I really want to know from you guys.
Thanks for reading.
