Captain Shy was content. Pirate days were behind her and her ship was in the... well, not really gentle, but caring hooves of First Mate Dictionary and Co. She had enough money to lay in the sun, her wings spread as she enjoyed the sun and sipped some piña colada. And that's what she was doing when she felt somepony tapping her on the shoulder. "Pardon me ma'am, are you the Captain Shy?" a smooth and handsome voice asked her.
She didn't manage to finish her sigh of disappointment for being interrupted before she 'Eep!'-ed adorably and flinched away from the thing that had tapped her shoulder when she saw it. It had a pony head with a deer antler and a goat horn, one bling-ingly white fang, different-sized pupils, a snake tongue, a devilishly handsome goat beard and white bushy eyebrows. He had tapped her shoulder with his eagle claw hand, the other hand was a lion's paw and it's legs were a lizard's and a goats. It also had a bat's and a pegasus' wing and a snake's tail thing.
"Oh, um, sorry. No, I'm quite retired thank you." She almost whispered in her adorable manner as it raised an eyebrow and she could almost feel herself swoon at the sight. And then it spoke again.
"Oh pardon me for my mistake good ma'am, I was merely looking for her as I have a delivery for her from a D. I. Scord. According to the label, it's a map to the long lost treasure of Blackmane," it said in its smooth and handsome voice causing her to swoon a moment as it fiddled with its beard. "Oh well, if you see her tell she's got a package waiting at the office," it shrugged and began sauntering away.
Captain Shy continued swooning for a moment longer before "WAIT!" she shouted and galloped after it, "If that's okay with you, um, that is," she half whispered as she reached it. "It's just, um, that is," she shook her head in an attempt to clear it. "Yes, I'm me. Um, I mean can I have my package? If you don't mind that is..." she mumbled.
"Well then, you should have said so in the first place! There you go dear," it said in its oh so swoon inducing voice as it plopped the package in front of her and patted her head before snapping its fingers and disappearing with a quack. Not that she noticed, with what swooning so hard that it took her four minutes and thirteen seconds to come to. Blinking twice, she realised that the being had disappeared and sighed as she turned her attention to the package.
Tearing open the package, she found a cardboard box inside. Blinking at the brown box, she opened it to find a brown cardboard tube inside. Rolling here eyes and huffing at the over-packing, she opened the tube and slid a rolled parchment out. Captain Shy felt her left eye twitch a few times as she found that it was merely a half of a map and a post-it note. She glared at the post-it note, feeling her frustration rising.
Sorry dear, the other half's with Admiral Sparklebutts
—D <3
Captain Shy felt a blush approach her face as she ripped the note off the map, scrunched it into a ball, stomped on it and lit it on fire by staring it hard enough. After huffing a good huff, she sipped the rest of her piña colada with a single sip and marched off to find her ship.
Chicken McWings was snoozing in her hammock as after the old Captain had buggered off, all the cool adventures and plunderings had stopped as the former First Mate Dictionary and the new Captain Dictionary hadn't even ordered the anchor to be raised. Her sleep was unfortunately disturbed by Victoryful's call to deck. Groaning, she reached a hoof out trying to catch support so that she could get off the hammock without physical injuries before she fell to the floor with a smack. Grumbling, she picked herself up and dragged herself on deck.
"Attention everypony! Captain Shy is back and taking command of the vessel! That is all, um, I guess?" First Mate Dictionary hollered from the poop deck to the rest of the crew, with Captain Shy being shy and hiding behind her mane next to her. Everypony shrugged and went back to work. It was only the third time this year Captain Shy had retired and come back after all. Chicken rolled her eyes and headed back to her hammock.
"Um, Dictionary? Could you ping Admiral Sparklebutts' location, if it's okay with you that is. And then set course to intercept. If you'd be so kind?" Captain Shy mumbled to her First Mate as she was about to head off.
"Yes ma'am," Dictionary salutes and begins fiddling with the maps as Captain Shy sipped her piña colada.
"HMS She's One Of Ours, Sir! in sight Cap'n! She's taken damage!" Victoryful shouted victoryfully from the Gryphon's Nest, pointing at the direction of the ship.
"That's still not a word!" First Mate Dictionary shouted back at her, causing everyone to raise an eyebrow and stare at her for a moment. "What?" She asked and raised an eyebrow. "Get back to work! Raise the roger and prepare for boarding, they've struck their colours! Chop chop ponies!" She shouts at the crew, causing them to run around.
Boarding the ship in short order and taking control of it, Captain Shy has a healthy, reasonable and very normal discussion with Admiral Sparklebutts.
"Please hand over the map, um, if it's okay with you Sparklebutts," Captain Shy ~~shouts~~ politely asks the Admiral, holding a flintlock at her snout in her adorable way. The Admiral scoffs, "Never, you filthy pirate. I am Admiral Sparklebutts, the scourge of pirates and evil and all things naughty. In Her Name, I shall feed you to the Kraken. You have this one chance to stand down."
Captain Shy blinks. "Oh."
So they tied the good Admiral in knots and made her walk the plank.
Before she went over, she chuckled nervously and turns to the Captain, "I have the map, here, take it," she said as she levitated the parchment to the Captain "Any chance I could join the crew? Or live in some way?"
Captain Shy smiled as she verified that the piece of parchment was indeed the missing piece of the map before shooting Admiral Sparklebutts, causing her to fall to the sea. After which her crew plundered the Admiral's booty and scuttled the beaten ship. The map was complete, who cared for a wrecked ship?
"Please set sail to Blackmane's treasure, Dictionary. If it's no trouble that is," Captain Shy asked her First Mate and retired to her cabin to sip piña coladas.
After three days of travel, they arrived to the mouth of a cave. The skies were dark with clouds of storm, the sea calmer than an eye of a storm. Captain Shy grinned in her adorable greedy way as they proceeded inside the cave. And there it was! Blackmanes chest, on top of the mountain of golds and gems and silvers and other shinies! The crew boarded the rowboats and rowed to the shore. Wary of traps, they continued on hoof to the mountain.
Captain Shy practically skipped over to the mountain and ignored the shouts of the crew. All this gold and silver and gems and shinies! She couldn't get her adorable head around everything that she could buy with it! All the piña coladas and carrots and apples and critters she could dream of and she'd still have enough for three mansions! Giggling adorably to herself, she 'Eep!'-ed in her cute way as the Dragon crashed through the cave wall with an "Oh Yeaah!"
She looked at the Dragon which was scowling and snorting black smoke from its nostrils and oh dear it was quite likely somewhat annoyed and what was that? There was a metallic crash from behind her. Captain Shy turned while hiding behind her mane and 'Squee'-ed in disbelief. "Metal Gear!? It can't be!" She shouted in her cute way, as the Metal Gear turned to the Dragon and fired at it and exploded its head.
Captain Shy blinked at the display, finished another piña colada and ordered her crew to get all the loot to the ship.
4 days later....
Captain Shy sighed as she relaxed and melted into her sun chair. Taking a sip of piña colada, she stretched her wings and smiled. Her new island was quite nice.
Author's Note
Starring:
Princess Luna as Starmane
Fluttershy as Captain Shy
Apple Bloom as Victoryful
Sweetie Belle as First Mate Dictionary
Chicken McWings as Scootaloo
Discord as Himself
Twilight Sparkle as Admiral Sparklebutts
Princess Celestia as Herself
The Dragon as The Dragon
Metal Gear REX as Herself
Edit 2014/06/27: Typo
