Introduction

Chapter 7; Introduction

Spooky

After the Elder Alicorn left, Thrashion was being pony-handled by Cadence. The long day had took its toll on all of us. Especially Shining Armor. Apparently my Spider Breath-thing had an unforeseen effect on the poor guy. Despite the turn of events, Celestia insisted that we all have dinner together, so she left in order to make the proper preparations.

As for me? I was thirsty, so I asked for some water, prompting Spike to take me on a journey through the servant’s passages to find some. The servant passages reminded me of the secret passages in the House of Seven Gables. I remember visiting there on a class field trip... The passages in the house were narrow made of brick and mortar. Back when the House of Seven Gables was built, the people who built the passages had an easier time passing through them. But now, in more modern times, we had to squeeze through. During the tour the biggest jock in school got himself stuck. Needless to say, the staff and chaperones spent the rest of the time on the trip trying to get him out. They were afraid that they would have to damage the walls to free him. Long story short lets just say he lost a good shirt and the town lost a lot of butter and oil.

That how I feel now. A pony or Spike, in his current state, could slip right through these narrow winding hallways. But my dragon-esque frame was having a hard time slipping through without some tricky maneuvering.
“So, where are we heading? I just need some water,” I asked.

“Yeah. It’s this way to the kitchen. This is the most direct route and we’ll end up somewhere near the barracks. I’ve used this passage tons of times .”

I smiled at him. “I’ll take your word for it.”

Seeing everything in real life was… beyond cool! My inner sociologist was going nuts. Still, if it wasn’t for my more logical side taking hold of my brain, I probably would go nuts. Yes, I am a brony, but I never wanted to go to Equestria.

I don't really want to explain why, but I promise I will later.

Still there were plenty that would give their left nut for this. I cracked a slightly amused smile.

“Whatcha smiling about?” Spike asked.

I ad-libbed something in a flash. “Oh, I find it funny that Thrashion and I are both naked right now.”

“So? Everypony’s naked around here,” he paused. “Correction. Everypony’s naked around here MOST of the time.”

“Well where we come from we wear clothes... most of the time.”

“Dragons and ponies wear clothes?”

“Yeah, the humans who also live where Thrashion and I live have to wear clothes because of the environment and society standards. So to fit in with them, we do too. It’s kind of an inside joke Thrashion and I have: us running around nude and all.”

“Rarity would love that place. She could make a lot of money from a place that has to wear clothes all the time,” Spike commented, a dreamy look in his eyes.

“So who is Rarity?” I asked.I hoped to find out about the mares before we were introduced to them, which we would be eventually. That’s how it works in stories like this, the human(s) get introduced to the main 6 sooner or later

“She is only the most beautiful, talented, beautiful, refined, beautiful, unicorn there is!”.
“You have a crush on her?” I asked Spike. That when things got quiet; I didn’t want to answer. “So, what’s your hoard like?” Spike questioned, mercifully changing the subject.

“A hoard? Most of the time that’s considered a bad thing where I come from. Most ponies just have a collection of some sort.”

“I bet that holds down on the greed growth,” Spike commented.

“Anger is what triggers our growth. Well at least when it comes to my family and I,” I said, trailing off.

Spike paused and looked at me. I did everything I could to not crash into him.

“Really?” He looked at me, concerned.

“I have it under control,” I said. “Hmm. How about I help you and you help me.” I smiled at him. “Deal?”

“Deal,” Spike said, extending his claw-hand. I took it and shook it. “It’s a part of my Dragon code to help a friend.”

“Well my code is simple: I make no excuses, my actions are my voice.

I have no enemies, my opponents are my teachers.

I need no deceitful tricks, my character is my sword.

I think not of quitting, my courage in my secret weapon.

I know not of defeat, my experience becomes my strength.”

Spike looked at me. “So I’m guessing you are some sort of writer?” he ventured.

I nodded.
“That’s cool and all, but kind of strange,” Spike replied. “But I guess we all need a code
to live by.”

We came near the exit of the service corridors, and just like Spike said it was the guard’s barracks.

A familiar whining voice sounded from the barracks. “Please, let us in! We have to see the Princesses! It’s about my patients; I must see Ms. Riverside and Mr. Patchwork! I didn’t get to finish any of my scans on them.”

“Dr. Feather Heart, we appreciate your hard work, but they are fine,” A guard told him. “You and your nurse can go back to Baltimare.”

“But they were no more than corpses when I found them,” The doctor implored. “I need to make sure that they are OK, and that’s why I brought Nurse Wonder Heart with me. She’s been around them and in close contact with Ms. Riverside,” He urged.

“Let him stay!” a guard shouted. “The spiders from that dragon has some sort of mana burn venom.”

Spike looked at me and raised an eyebrow upon hearing that.

I shrugged. “I didn’t know they could do that...?”

“And he has retractable blades and spikes,” another guard added.

Spike motioned for us to go out into the opening. We walked out into the barracks, gaining the guard’s attention.

Spike was greeted with simple phrases like: “Hey, Spike.”, “Little guy”,”How’s it going little guy?” and “Hey! It’s the Captain's little brother.”

I was met with awkward silence.

“I’m guessing they don’t like me much,” I huffed.

“Well, you did attack them with sticky spider web wads and spider.”

“Good point.”

The doctor caught sight of me and ran over with Nurse Wonder Heart in tow. “Ah. Mr. Patchwork. How are you feeling?”

Before I could answer he quickly summoned a clipboard and pen in his magic aura. He started to scan my body. “Interesting. You do have spiders that are living in your body and you can control your osteoblast. You don’t have retractable spikes or blades, but you can have your body grow and deconstruct them at will. How is that so? How did I not see that when I was fixing you? Your breath weapon, how does it work?”

“My spiders and I share a bond. As for the bones, it’s on my father’s side of the family, but his are heavier. Now if you excuse me I need some water. ”

Yes. A lie, but we needed a back story anyway. I really was thirsty, but he continued to try and examine me.

“Does it run in the family?”

“Yes. My father used them to create snow plows and other tools he uses for his job, as the Road Boss; he keeps the roads of our home maintained,” I answered.

The doctor continued to poke and prod, much to the amusement of the guards. Spike was able to come to my rescue, thank God. “Listen, Doctor, could you ease up on him for a moment? He needs to get some water, that’s why he came down here.”

“Oh,” he made some space. “I guess I could.”

“Good,” Spike said happily. “Come on Spooky.” He waved me forward eventually leading me to the kitchen. “Thanks, Spike,” I told him once we were out of earshot.

“Don’t mention it. I’m stoked that you're going to meet the Head Chef Le Grand. He is so awesome.”

The kitchen was enormous and full of activity. None of the ponies seemed to notice that we came in. It was all you could ask for in a kitchen; hundreds of ponies dressed in kitchen attire were doing all sorts of jobs to make sure that their dishes were done. I could only guess that the kitchen fed any and every noble in the castle and that the biggest meals were for the princesses. I was half expecting to be kicked out, but there were a small set of tables off in the corner .

“Spike!” A voice called out. It belonged to a large griffin, dressed in a chef’s uniform and a tall hat. He reminded me of a recolored Guston, his eagle half was black while his lion half was white. “How is my favorite dragon doing? I have your favorite gem-jam cake ready for you.” He then took notice of me. “ I see you have a new dragon friend with you! I can’t wait to make a meal for him.”

“Hey Le Grand, great to see you,” Spike replied, smiling. He pointed his clawed thumb towards me. “This is Spooky Patchwork. He’s a different kind of dragon than I am.” Spike faced me. “This is Head Chef Le Grand, he loves to cook for any creature and he likes challenges. I’m guessing you are one, considering.”

“I see. A carnivore, I presume?” he asked, rubbing his talons together.

“Omnivore and insectivore,” I corrected him.

“Spike, are you eating with the Royals and Twilight? If so, I’ll just add your cake to your dinner plate,” Le Grand said.

Spike nodded. “Yeah. We just came down for some water. Is that OK?”

“That is fine. I’ll show him the spring so that he can come and get a drink anytime.” Le Grand motioned for us to follow. “The Spring is where you can take your fill of water. It is what we call a “Spirit Spring”. The Princesses themselves use it in their food and drinks.”

We were led to the back of the kitchen where there was a stone pool, water bubbling up from it and snaking down a slightly jagged stone structure. There was a portrait that hung just above the spring.

The portrait was that of an alicorn dressed in cloth armor, a silver breastplate over his barrel and a morion on his head. He was standing on a rock in a defiant pose holding a platinum spear with an adamant tip. The alicorn was aqua green in color with a short mane, a small beard, and a curled, handle bar mustache, all of which were a majestic navy blue, with stripes of light blue running through the mane. His eyes were a stunning and harsh violet.

Le Grand gave me a tin cup. “Drink up, my friend.”

I dipped the cup in the spring and brought it to my mouth. The cool water filled and relieved my parched mouth. I dipped the cup several more times until my dry throat was quenched. I gave a contented “ahh” and looked over at the portrait.

I pointed up at it. “So who is this?”

***

Thrashion

Spooky had gone with Spike for some water, lucky bastard! Cadance had me in a pony-style kung fu death grip, holding me close to her side with her wing.

“Let me introduce you to Prince Baal,” Cadence said with a wide smile on her face. “Your biological father. Next to him is your biological mother, Kelpie. She was named that because she resembled one at birth. Some even say that she had the blood one of the sea born pony tribes.” She paused as if she was trying to think of what to say. “That was never really proven or disproven.”.

We were in front of a portrait of a pony that looked like the princess. The stallion was smiling and holding a spear. Next to him was a mare, Her fur was a sea foam green, her mane was long , wavy, and dark green. It would’ve looked exactly like kelp, if it hadn’t been for the strip of pink in it. She was taller and slightly more shapely than other mares I’ve seen and she had a smile on her face. Her kind blue eyes seemed to shine. In the background it looked like they were in front of a cottage from Scotland.

“Our brother saved her and brought her to a new home, a small village. They welcomed Kelpie into their home, and she became a great resource to that village. Our brother visited her many times and they fell in love. In truth, there was quite the uproar when he married a “common born mare”.”

Celestia, unnoticed by either of us, broke into the conversation. Luna followed close behind her. “But that’s our brother for you, he never cared for the noble stuffshirs as he called them. ‘Nobility is meant for those who act like it’ is what he would always say.”

“Our brother was the first Captain of the Royal Guard,” Luna added. “He would not accept the throne. Instead he let my sister and I have it, but he would protect us with his construct, The Spear Borealis.

“He was on patrol when he met her. The village that she had grown up in -- a land locked farming settlement -- had fallen on hard times and blamed her for it. They tried to execute her for being a witch or something like that. The village our brother took her to was on the seaside, where her talent was most useful. Her talent was something to do with the sea, wasn’t it?” Celestia questioned her sister.

“If he’s like you, then where is he?” I asked. “I don’t think Kelpie is immortal…” I started to say, but I stopped myself.

“He died protecting Equestria form a grave threat,” Candace said.

“Yes. After his death Luna and I could not bear to see the guards dressed like him, so we changed the uniforms,” Celestia added.

“The grave threat was a beast of evil, destructive, chaos. Lotan.“ Luan said. “Nothing like Discord. Although he may have caused great suffering, no one was ever hurt. \ But I often wonder if it was Lotan that drew Discord to us or was Discord the reason Lotan came?

“Who?” I asked

“This is not the time Luna, ” Celestia interrupted. “Thrashion, you must know that just because we are immortal does not mean we can’t die.” Her look briefly changed to a sorrowful, one. “Enough for now. We have something to discuss with you.” Celestia conjured an old-looking paper and quill. “With this, you will become an official Princess of Equestria.”

“Whoa! No thank you! I don’t want to!” I shouted.

“It is a minor title for now --”

“Minor, my ass!” I yelled.

Celestia ignored my protests. “ --until your talent comes into focus. In truth Cadence only accepted her title because our sister said there would be a spot for you.”

“We believe that you would be a good addition because you have lived most of your life as the common ponies did. You would be more approachable. You may be even more popular than Cadence,” Luna told me. “The common pony is easily relatable to you and they will know you are, to them, a bridge between the common folk and the nobility. Society will be made as it were.”

“Please sign for my sake,” a voice asked. “I need to be closer to my sister.”

“Thrashion, I know this is big, but this step should provide us with not only many legal options but protection for you and your friend. Right now he is considered a dangerous threat but if you were a princess then we could simply say that he was protecting you, and we would leave him alone,” Celestia finished.

“But he was,” I argued. “Regardless of threat, princess hood, or not, he’s not dangerous, damn you.”

“Aunty, she has to want to do this,” Cadence protested.

“Yes; indeed, Sister, it is her own choice. This can’t be forced nor can it be legally disputed,” Luna clarified.

“I think I got it... the princess for the ponies. You guys must have gotten a little out of touch and you need someone like me to help you reconnect.”

“Correct,” Celestia confirmed.

“Still not sure if I want to sign it but… not a bad idea, princess of the ponies and all. The one you could kick back and have brews with... Speaking of which, I could use one right now.”

“Brew?” Luna asked aloud.

“Beer,” Cadence answered.

“Yes. We will tell you all about our family in time, but for now we need to have a good meal and some rest. I will go down to the kitchen and see about the dinner. I believe Spike and Spooky are there.” Luna left the room

Celestia gave a sigh. “Thrashion, I believe after the day we’ve had, we could all use a beer.”