Fallout Equestria: How to Train Your Slaver

Fuck me.

Fuck the wasteland.

Fuck everything.

I hate my life.

Somepony just kill me right the fuck now.

Just… my life. Yea it wasn’t a very good fucking life, yea, I probably wasn’t a very good pony at the time. But goddammit now I have to fucking put up with this whorse of a mare and her stupid shenanigans! She’s…. ugh!

First this bitch smacks my face in, throws food all over me, and just….

GAH!

What kind of a fucking name is Two Bits anyways?

Have I fucking mentioned fuck me yet?

I’m glad that I smashed her fucking eye though. I feel kinda better. Wish I could stomp the rest of her to jelly. Fuck this bitch. She’s just sleeping in some old abandoned little fucking shithole while I’m tied to a fucking wooden post writing in this stupid piece of shit journal. I mean, there isn’t much difference between the sad little shack and sleeping out in the open. But at least she doesn’t have a damned rope around her neck.

Guess I should introduce myself right about now. ‘case anypony happens to stumble upon this piece of shit. Why hello asswipes, my name is Knockout. Former slaver now turned fucking pet dog. Orange coat, blue mane. Simple as that.

So, where the fuck do I start?

Let’s see, after she fucking tied me up and confiscated my fucking gun, she told me that I could either follow her, or I could stay and die from starvation/dehydration/death. So, here I fucking am. Sure, I wanna die. Give me a gun, I’ll shoot either me or her in the head. But fuck I’m not dying a slow death.

Fuck I wish I had my shotgun. Least I can defend off anything that’s coming my way. Now I have to stay alert and fight them fucking barehoof. I mean, yea, if I had my shotgun, I’d still have to lookout for them, but it sure beats using your hooves.

Don’t get me wrong, I fucking love hoof-to-hoof combat. Guess who’s trained in Brazebrian Jiu-Jitsu? That’s right. This motherfucker right here.

But. let’s be honest, fighting a radscorpion is different from fighting an actual pony.

Is radscorpion supposed to be capitalized? Huh. My journal, my fucking grammar I guess.

What were we talkin about again? Oh yeah. Combat. Right. So, yea. met this zebra while I was out drinking (Yes you fuckheads, slavers DO have lives outside of just raping and ruining the lives of other unfortunate ponies. How you think we get drunk?). Taught me a bit of BJJ. I was the go to guy for hoof-to-hoof combat after that.

So, what else, lemme see….

Guess I should mention that I fucking hate “heroes”.

I’m not talking about just a random asshole who saves lives, no. I’m talking about THE heroes.

You’ve got you’re Stable Dwellers, your Securities, well you know what? They can go fuck themselves for all I care. I just, don’t like ‘em. They’re selfish is what I say. They don’t give two fucks about the ponies they kill, the damage they cause. Sure, I did the same, but these ponies get rewarded, they get fans, little foals start looking up to them. When in reality, they’ve caused just as much damage as the ponies they kill. Sure, the ponies they kill are bad, but they’re ponies all the same.

Have they ever fucking considered that some of those ponies didn’t have a fucking choice?! Did they ever consider the fact that some of these ponies were born into raiding?! With no chance to back out?! Some of these ponies had no fucking chance at fucking all! Like m

Fuck I have no eraser.

All in all, I’m a bad pony. Yes. But all I ask for is equality.

Huh. A slaver asking for justice. Fucking ironic isn’t it?

Back to the fucking whorse…

The bitch is naive as fuck I’ll give you that. I asked her what she wanted to do with me, said she wanted to reform me or somethin’. “To change me for the better”. I almost pity the whorse. Almost. I’m gonna look forward to the day she opens that one pathetic eye of hers and finally she realizes how harsh the wasteland is. That not everypony can come out and be a hero just like that.

She’s gonna eat those words. One day, she’s gonna see that there is no such thing as harmony. That died a LOOOOOOOONNG time ago. I can’t wait to see the ugly truth just slam into her. It’ll make my fucking day to say the least. She’ll finally know that all these fairy tales of heroes and brave warriors, sacrifice, loyalty and all that mean jackshit nowadays. That they’re stories, nothing else. Noponies gonna give up their own time and energy to help you, they’ll most likely try and fucking backstab you first chance they get.

Have I mentioned her fucking stupid armor makes her look like a fucking stupid bug?

***

Well, fuck me.

Remember how I said I wanted my shotgun back?

Turns out I didn’t need it.

So, there we were, just walkin’ around the watseland, Well fuck there goes another error I can’t fucking erase.

Fuck. I’m gonna try and see what washes this shit off.

Anwyas, (FUCK) we were walking, actually she was walking, I was trying to look for a rock to bash my head in. When out of nowhere, this jackass comes out of nowhere, he’s got a knife in his mouth and he’s trying to mug me! Bits doesn’t exactly notice yet, I didn’t expect her to. Bitch probably has the mind of a foal. She probably just found some weird lookin’ bug or somethin’.

So, the fucker mumbles something about bottlecaps. And I respond the only way I knew how.

I charged that fucker and bit him in the neck. He screamed real funny. I think I got some of him stuck in my teeth. I remembered ripping off some of the fucker’s skin. I definitely remember blood. But guess what? Fucker reeled, held his neck and charged again! I don’t think I’ve seen anyone dumber than that dumb bitch over there!

So, he cahrges (I really gotta find a way to fucking erase this shit) me, and I muck him right in the face. I think his muzzle broke. I hope it did.Then I stomped his head in. His brains splattered EVERWHERE. I think I still got a piece stuck to my hoof. While I’m stomping his head to a million pieces, I’m just yelling: “CUNT CUNT CUNT! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE MESSING WITH?! GET THE FUCK UP! I JUST GOT CAUGHT BY A FUCKING BITCH I DON’T NEED TO PUT UP WITH YOUR BULLSHIT!”.

It was kinda theraputic. Is that how you spell it? I don’t care.

So, not too long later, the whorse comes and pulls me off and yells at me for having anger issues and that I should control myself. Fucking shame, I was about to annihilate his tongue as well.

Fuck I wanted to squish it so badly.

Y’know what? This journal thing is still a horrible fucking idea.

***

Imma try to see if cum can wash this shit off.

***

Note to self.

It doesn’t.