Size Really DOES Matter

by Pizzema Forte

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Sex, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Romance, Original Character, Spike, Rainbow Dash
Length: 3267

After a long line of embarrassing, failed dates, Rainbow Blitz becomes increasingly self-conscious about certain things.

Rainbow Blitz has never had the best luck when it comes to dating, and he hasn't shown very much interest in the subject. After he discovers Bubble Berry (along with the rest of his friends) have already lost their virginity, he becomes determined to lose his out of his own dignity. However, he does have one itsy, bitsy problem...
(This takes place in a r63 universe)

Published 2014-01-09 04:50:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-09 04:50:05 UTC

Introduction

Introduction

Dusk Shine’s purple horn illuminated and created a sparkling aurora around the yellow-covered book. He smiled and set the large collection of words before the excited, cyan-coated stallion.

“You sure?” The stallion asked his multihued friend. “You want to read book one for the, oh I don’t know, twentieth time?”

Rainbow Blitz smiled and snatched the book from the magical mist surrounding.

“Of course I’m sure!” He exclaimed. “It’s only the Daring Dew book that got me into this series! Not a big deal or anything.”

Dusk Shine’s purple eyes rolled to the back of his head. Stating Rainbow was obsessed with Daring Dew would have been a dramatic understatement. He read even his least favorite Daring Dew book nearly nine times. As much as the pegasus despised having broken wings, he owed the discovery of something he’d loved the most to one.

“Well, you just have fun with that. I need to get some things organized for Prince Saloris. You know how things are.”

“Yeah, yeah, Prince Saloris ‘n’ stuff.” He said with a smile, tucking the book into his saddle bag with his wing.

Dusk Shine smiled. “Just don’t mess this copy up, alright?”

The stallion guiltily smiled. “Haha….yeah….sorry about that…”

“It’s alright. I still can’t imagine what made you think it was a good idea to read while bathing.”

“Hey!” He snapped. “It’s not my fault those books are so hard to put down!”

The two stallions had a moment of silence to smile at each other. The awkward, sustained quietness was suddenly broken by three loud knocks at Dusk’s door.

“I’ll get that…” The unicorn announced as his horn illuminated and engulfed the wooden frame. He trotted over to the door and used his magic to open it.

“Good day, Dusk Shine.” The white unicorn greeted. “Doing anything interesting this morning?”

“Uh…. Not specifically.” He replied as the stallion invited himself into the librarian’s tree house. “Rainbow Blitz was just about to leave, and I was going to start my assignment from Prince Saloris.”

The lavender pony smiled. He wasn't trying to be rude, but he sort of needed some time to think and get things organized. Having company wasn't planned, but certainly appreciated.

“Well, that doesn’t sound too crazy.” Elusive commented. “Oh, and, uh… I highly advise you stay out of Bubble’s way.”

“Why?” Both Dusk Shine and Rainbow Blitz asked in nearly unison.

“Oh, it’s nothing to do with his usual crazy antics, but he’s just been over the moon about losing his virginity!”

Rainbow Blitz blushed and Dusk smiled with a chuckle.

“That colt really does not know the proper things to talk about it." Elusive continued. "He should know it’s a more… inappropriate subject to discuss.”

“That’s just him being Bubble Berry!” Dusk Shine said, then thought for a moment. “Maybe somepony should teach him proper etiquette one of these days.”

“Oh, you know I wouldn’t mind teaching Bubble some manners. He really needs to think before he speaks, sometimes.”

Dusk Shine nodded his head. “I know, I know… he can be a bit… Random, at times.”

Elusive chuckled. “I’m simply in awe that he took this long to finally do the deed.”

Rainbow Blitz perked his ears up, and silently listened to the rest of the conversation.

“I know!” Dusk agreed. “Especially considering he’s one of the most outgoing ponies we know!”

“Oh, for certain! I couldn’t even imagine what’d it’d be like to wait such a long time. As reserved as a pony I tend to be, I lost mine nearly two years ago!”

Blitz blushed heavily and whispered under his breath quietly. “Two…years ago?”

The whispers of the young pegasus went ignored by his friends. He shamefully looked at the ground as the two continued.

“Well…” Dusk finally went on. “I think it’s time to change subjects…”

“Oh, but of course, Dusk! I’m so sorry I got you involved!”

“It’s fine…So, what brings you around her, Elusive?”

The stallion perked his ears up as he suddenly remembered something. “Oh! Right! Well, I was just hoping to return a book I borrowed quite some time ago. You know, the one about the history of certain fabrics?” The stallion’s horn illuminated and he pulled a book out of his saddle bag. “I was considering making my next line of suits to reflect the history of the materials they’ll be constructed from! I can just tell this will be one of my best lines yet!”

Dusk Shine gladly took the book from his friend with a smile. “Thanks. I can’t wait to see you’re next line!”

“Oh, it’s nothing special. I just-“

“Hey you guys!” A pink-coated, hyper stallion bounced into the house with no warning or even a knock. His sudden disturbance gained the attention of the two unicorn’s in mid-conversation. “Did you guys here about what happened? Huh? Did ya? You didn’t tell Dusky anything did you, ‘Lusive?”

Elusive’s white face grew into a dark shade of crimson. “I, uh… you know how I am with gossip.”

“Ugh!” Bubble grunted. “Well, I’m still going to tell you! So, there was this pretty mare last night and she said it was her birthday, but nopony bothered to get her anything, so I was like, ‘Hey, maybe I could do something!’ So I took her back to Sugar Cube Corner and I-“

“We get it! We get it!” Rainbow Blitz snapped in a surprisingly aggressive tone. “You lost your virginity! Big whoop! Nopony cares!”

Bubble stopped and looked shocked, as well as Elusive and Dusk. All were agape and staring directly at the pissed pegasus.

“Rainbow Blitz!” Dusk snapped. “You just can’t say that to somepony! Especially Bubble Berry! Now apologize to him!”

Blitz snorted and growled, then sighed. Behind gritted teeth, he spoke.

“I’m sorry, Mister Just-Had-His-First-Time!”

“Oh, by Saloris, what has gotten into you?” Elusive defended the pink earth pony, whom was starting to tear up at his friend’s rude remark.

“Nothing! Nothing at all!” The cyan pegasus spread his wings and quickly flew out a window, and straight out of the library in an angry huff. The remaining ponies stared blankly.

“What’s up with Mr. Grumpy Pants?” Bubble asked. The two unicorns exchanged awkward glances.

“I, uh… Don’t know…” Dusk finally said after a long moment of hesitation. He then turned to Bubble Berry. “So… What were you saying? I’m sorry about Rainbow’s little conniption.”

Bubble smiled. “Gladly! It was just about to get good!”

Author's Note

I'm aware of the way I spelt Daring "Dew". I simply did it that way to make it seem more masculine.

Size Apparently Does Matter

“Bubble Berry?” Blitz stated with an annoyed grunt. “Bubble of all ponies lost his virginity before me?”

The angered stallion flopped back onto his soft bed and grunted. The majority of his life, he hadn’t much interest in dating or finding a marefriend. Actually, the only mare he ever had interest in was a pretty filly from flight school named Soaring. She was especially pretty, but he never really wanted a relationship with her. Being in a long, romance-filled relationship just wasn’t his thing. He’d much rather prefer to hook up with a mare who would treat him more like a best friend than a soul mate. A rough kind of mare who was athletic, competitive, and not too attached. He had never found exactly what he wanted, but he knew she’d come along…eventually.

The multihued stallion sat up from his bed and sighed. He wasn’t looking for a relationship. He just wanted to lose his virginity. As weak and desperate as it made him sound, he couldn’t help that it was true. He never really thought about it before that day, but now that seemingly everypony around him lost their virginity except him, he was quite embarrassed. He just needed to find a mare, any mare, and buck her with any pride he had left. He sounded like a sex-obsessed teenager, and with much shame, he felt like one.

“Maybe I just need to go to a bar and bring a mare home from there. It wouldn’t be a relationship, just a nice night together, have a little fun, and then depart ways and never see each other again."

Then again, maybe he needed to rethink everything. Was it more shameful to be a virgin, or to have lost one's virginity to a complete stranger out of being desperate? Either path, Rainbow wasn’t satisfied. He wanted to wait and save it for that sporty, sexy, athletic mare he’d one day fall in love with, but at the same time, he wanted the juicy treasure of pure, sweet, lustful intercourse. Blitz blushed and smiled, simply thinking about it.

“Ugh! Just thinking about losing my virginity is getting to me!”

The stallion looked up at his puffy, white ceiling and blushed. Sometimes, desperate times called for desperate measures. And as much as he hated to admit it, he was desperate.

Rainbow Blitz took in a big sigh and galloped into the bar. Yeah, it may not have been the most romantic place to meet a pony to bang, but he wasn’t looking for romance. He was looking for a nice mare to take to his place and buck. He took in a deep breath and stepped one hoof in front of another slowly as he entered the establishment. The bar itself was kind of dingy. The brown painted-walls were chipping. Several stools were lined up at the wooden counter. The green tiles beneath the stallion’s hooves were rusted and dirty with old food crumbs. The bartender was washing a cup with her hoof thoroughly when she noticed the stallion walk inside. It was evident business wasn’t going too well. There was one drunken stallion lying across the floor and a pretty mare sitting at a stool with her mind elsewhere. She was chugging down a mug of brow, fizzy beer. Her purple eyes gleamed brightly against the illumination of the over-head lights. She had a pretty, soft-blue coat and curly, white mane. Blitz gulped nervously upon seeing her. She was his only real option at the time, and if he failed, that was it.

Maybe… Rainbow thought to himself. You should just turn around and try again some other time…. It would seem rather strange to just show up for a minute, then leave. Just get a drink, and leave.

Nervously, Blitz approached the stool next to the only mare aside from the bartender.

“Mind if I sit here?” He asked rather politely.

The pretty mare shrugged, not caring one way or another.

Blitz confidently sat next to the mare and smiled. “Would you like a drink?” he offered.

The mare raised an eyebrow and lifted her mug of the alcoholic beverage. She waved it around a bit to make it more obvious.

“I already sort of have one…”

The stallion blushed madly. He had to admit, that did sound quite stupid. “I. uh… yeah… I knew that…”

The mare sighed. “Let me guess. You’re desperate or something.”

The stallion blushed much heavier. It was the cold, hard truth. He hated to even admit it to himself, but he knew damn well he was desperate. He met eyes with the stained tiles beneath the stool and continued to blush brightly. She must have been used to the same thing each and every night she went. It wouldn’t have surprised Blitz in the least bit if she saw his coming before he took a single step out of his cloud house.

“Well… I…. you know…”

“I really do know, don’t I?”

Rainbow blushed again and smiled with a quick, affirmative nod. He looked down at the floor once more. The mare simply giggled.

“I could solve your little dilemma if you'd be willing do a bet."

Blitz’s ears perked up and he looked at the mare. “Uh, sure.”

“Well, we’ll both drink, and the first pony to finish their glass wins. If you win, I’ll spend the night at your house. If I win, however, you pay the bill.”

Rainbow Blitz smiled in determination. There was nothing in Equestria he loved more than a good challenge.

“Deal!” He said almost immediately. The mare chuckled as his confidence.

“Alright, Bartender! You know what to do!”

The stallion smiled ambitiously and the mare behind the counter winked before setting two large cups on the table. She then reached under the counter and pulled out a large bottle of an alcoholic beverage. She used her teeth to remove the cork and tilted it, pouring the substances with into their tall, glass cups.

The pretty mare lifted the glass of the mysterious drink to her lips and smiled. She gulped down a few swallows, and Blitz took it as his cue to start. He brought the drink to his lips and started gulping it down. It tingled within his throat, and tasted like a sharp citrus. The flavor was quite powerful. So powerful it proved to be anything but pleasant. He forced down a few swallows before removing the cup from his moist lips and turning to the mare. Her glass was already nearly halfway through. In desperation, Blitz put the glass to his lips and started chugging the nasty fluid as quickly as his body would allow him. His lungs strained to breathe as he forced down more of the unpleasant drink.

“Done!” The little mare chimed with a giddy smile.

At the instant he heard the victorious words from the pony’s mouth he removed the liquid from his and turned to her. Indeed, her entire glass was empty with the exception of droplets running down the sides. Blitz looked at his cup shamefully. He still had a few more ounces to go. He was so close, too!

The stallion grunted and sighed. “Alright… Just bill me.”

As much as the stallion loved competition, he hated losing. He especially hated losing when there was a punishment awaiting him at the end.

The yellow-coated bartender smiled and set the bill on the table in front of the stallion. He distastefully grunted when he saw the price marked as thirty bits. This night was doing nothing but making him lose bits and time.

The mare smiled as the stallion tossed a small bag of bits onto the counter and turned to the mare who’d stolen them to pay for her drinks.

“So…” She asked in a cheerful tone as if nothing had ever happened. “Why are you truly here? Like, what’s your story?”

Rainbow blushed and looked away. “I-It’s sort of embarrassing… I don’t think you’d understand….”

“Just tell me. I have heard tons of embarrassing stories! I’m sure whatever it is can’t be that bad…”

The cyan stallion sighed. “Well… I-I’m sort of….a virgin…”

The mare stared and blinked at the stallion then looked away. “Oh… I didn’t think a stallion with your appearance would be.”

Blitz blushed. Was he just...complimented?

“Thanks, I guess….”

The mare smiled and shrugged. “You know… You can call me whatever, but I’ve messed around with quite a lot of stallions… If you wanted to… I wouldn’t mind… You know…”

The virgin perked up his ears and turned his head to her, now fully paying attention. “Y-You really would?”

“Sure thing. As long as you keep this between you and me, I’m sure this will be a fantastic night.”

Blitz’s heart pounded heavily as he approached his home. He was actually about to… have sex. As much as he hated himself for doing it with a complete stranger, he simply wanted to get it over with so he could no longer claim the title of a virgin. He blushed wildly as he held the mare securely in his hooves. Oh, what a night it was about to be…

“Well… here we are…” Rainbow Blitz announced as he approached his home. The mare looked up at it and impressively whistled.

“Pretty big house!” She complimented as the stallion held opened the door for her.

“Thanks… You know. Working with the weather team and all…”

The blue mare nodded as she entered the home. Rainbow led her to his bedroom. They were both silent. The stallion wondered if he should have just turned around then and not went through. He was more nervous than he had been in his entire life. The butterflies within his stomach flew in circles and made his panicked heart beat faster.

The stallion opened his bedroom door and allowed the mare to go inside before him. The moment Blitz closed his bedroom door; his lips were pressed against the mare's in a deep, sensual, massaging kiss. The pegasus blushed heavily and kissed back. He loved the sensation it all brought to him. It felt amazing, tasted amazing, and helped him to regain some of his lost pride. The mare broke away and looked into the pink eyes of her partner. She leaned in and kissed him again, this time pushing on his chest lightly. He fell onto his bed and moaned a little in pleasure as his lips were greased and massaged. He wrapped his hooves around the mysterious mare’s neck and kissed her lips softly over and over again. He’d never kissed a mare before, and damn did it feel good now that he was.

In unison, the two ponies lied on their sides and continued to lovingly kiss each other as if they were young sweethearts. Their lips locked over and over again until both of their mouths were coated in saliva and numb in the sensation. They broke away once more and Rainbow deeply looked into the mare’s purple eyes.

“Why tease me with all this boring, kissing and stuff? Let’s get to the good stuff.”

Blitz blushed deeply and both of his cheeks lit up red. He smiled cutely at the mare and giggled.

“A-alright…”

Slowly, Rainbow eased onto his belly and spread his legs. He revealed his fully erect stallionhood with a soft shade of crimson migrating to all corners of his face. He didn’t know if it were good to already be erect, but by the confused look on the mare’s face, he assumed not. Her eyes were lighting up, and her expression lacked all emotion. She was just staring at his member as if it were a crime scene.

“Something wrong?” He asked almost as quietly as Butterscotch.

The mare didn’t hold back, but bluntly let it out. “That’s it?”

“Huh…?” Rainbow asked in a confused manner.

“That’s…it?”

“I-I guess…. Yeah…”

It wasn’t a second later the mare burst into laughter. She held her hoof to her mouth and uncontrollably spewed out into shrill whines with a great big, smile.

“What’s so funny?” Blitz asked in an aggressive tone.

“That thing’s freaking puny! No wonder you’re a virgin!”

The stallion gaped and shamefully crossed his legs. “I-It’s not that bad…is it…?”

The mare cried out again and wiped a tear from her eyes.

“Are you kidding me? What is that thing? Like four inches?”

Rainbow blushed and sat up. Any arousal he may have had vanished. “Just get out!” He shouted.

“O-okay…that thing couldn’t do anything, anyway!”

The giggling mare smiled as she ran out of his room. Blitz was left on his bed, full of shame and humiliation. He could barely comprehend what had just happened, but knew he didn’t want to. He had never been teased like that in his entire life. When he was in school, it was easier to ignore, but this… it was different. He was an adult… He just no longer felt like one.