Chapters Ed, Edd, n' Eddy: Equestrian Mis-Edventures
Humble Ed-ginnings
To say the Ed's were scared for their lives would be a massive understatement. To be scared would be like not wanting trying not to make somebody angry when correcting them. With every living thing in the Cul-De-Sac wanting them dead, the correct emotion would be terrified or petrified. They were also feeling other emotions, though that was probably considering the fact they were now clinging on to dear life on the neighborhood’s carousel at the playground, along with all the other kids. Murder, or at the very least lethal maiming in the other kids’ eyes and showing with their actions. was a priority to the all kids, bar three of them.
“You dorks haven't seen the last of me!” The Ed’s longtime rival -Kevin- said in anger as he was flung from Eddy’s brother’s car.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The Ed's all screamed in unison as they and the car were flung from the roundabout with the force of a hurricane, taking them who knows where.
“DOOOORRKSS!” Kevin shouted in anger as he threw a piece of the park’s fence knowing he was not going to pound the Ed's into a pulp for a long time, possibly even forever.
***
Ed, Edd and Eddy didn’t know how long they were flying for, all Double D knew is that they had to crash eventually. Sadly, it seemed as if God himself was listening to the three and proved Double D’s hypothesis true in the form of lots of hard ground. With the sudden crash landing, they didn’t seem to be hurt much as the car seemed to take in the abuse. No, they only took any form of injury when the car gave out and exploded.
In the aftermath of the incredibly small explosion, car parts were littered around every which way. Ed was the first to surface out of the wreckage, though some people call being stuck inside a muffler not really being out of the wreckage. It was more like inside it really. The next was Eddy, who was soon somehow jammed inside of a car door. Ed caught a glimpse of Eddy’s trademark long hair poking out of the car door and was soon there to rescue Eddy from his Mustang prison. Finally Double D was just bouncing around like a Jack-in-the-box as the car blew up into pieces, now dangling for dear life on top of a tree, his seatbelt saving him from a ghastly drop. Almost. When he hit the ground, however, what came out of his mouth was nothing short than his temper breaking.
“I followed all the rules, lived a life of decency and principal, so why didn't I trust my instincts that one day these short sighted show games would go too far!”
That, surprisingly, was enough for Ed to break out of the muffler and hide behind Eddy in fear. He whispered, “Double D’s darkside makes my armpits sweat Eddy.”
Eddy stared at his towering companion for a good, long moment before asking, “What doesn't?”
“Lost souls are we, gentlemen, doomed for eternity!” Double D shouted dramatically, collapsing to the ground like a broadway actor in his last scene.
Eddy approached Double D and pulled on his cap. “Lighten up sockhead, haven't I always steered you right?” There was a quick pause before Eddy continued, “Don’t answer that.”
Ed began to wave his lumber arms around, “Oh, if I may partake in this chat, could we not joineth the circus?”
Eddy laughed, “Talk about stupid, low bro. If we're going anywhere I know a place so out of the way it’s practically invisible.”
Ed’s smile was as large as ever, “Wow, that must be far.”
Knowing full well of Eddy’s plans, Double D facepalmed. “Dare I ask?” No answer. He sighed, “And?”
The suspense, how little it may be, got to Ed, “Yeah Eddy! And?
“And if any of those losers find us there they’ll be sent back home in a full body cast!” Eddy exclaimed.
“Where are we going Eddy?”
Eddy paused for a good minute, probably trying to drum up any anticipation before shouting, “My big bros' place!”
Double D frowned at this, “Eddy, I have my doubts that of all people your brother would give us sanctuary.”
“What, are you kiddin’ me? We’re connected, like twins with freaky brain powers!” Eddy waved a hand at his friends and began to run, “Now come on! He’s waitin for us!”
Ed could not, like most other instances, hold his excitement, “Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Your brother is so cool!”
Double D just stood there, contemplating about something. He reached in his cap and pulled out his labeler, and creating a tag that read, ‘Out of Order’. Putting it upon some collection of the wreckage and putting his label maker upaway, he began to follow his friends, calling, “Wait for me fellows!”
***
The trio were running through the field until they hit a large amount of apple trees, and after about ten minutes they soon saw a house.
Double D let out a sigh of relief, “Finally, sanctuary! Maybe we can ask them for room and board for the night, maybe even if they know your brother.”
“Wait!” Ed shouted, causing Double D and Eddy to stop, “This could be a trap set by the evil Klaxborks of ‘Attack of the Mutated Farm Folk,’ where they attack local farmer's brains and set them to eat anyone that enters their lair for Saturday brunch.”
Eddy waved a dismissal hand, “Yeah right Ed, like that will ever happen!” He turned to his other companion and pushed him towards the farm door, “Now Double D, knock on the door.”
Double D crossed his arms, “Fine, but I might have to agree with Ed here due to the surprisingly lack of livestock around here.’
Eddy tilted his head, “Well it's an apple orchard, what could livestock possibly do here?”
“I guess so.”
Without much argument, Double D knocked on the door and got a response in the form of a girl with a southern accent, “I’ll be there in a minute.”
When the door opened, Double D saw something he would’ve never seen coming. A burnt orange elongated face adorned with a stetson hat looked straight at him before the top barn door swung closed. He turned to his friends and asked, “Does anybody know if Equines should be allowed to be inside a house, much less than be able to open doors and close them?”
Again, Eddy tilted his head at the question, but then laughed, “No way sockhead! Why would you think, or even ask that? You’re supposed to be the smart one.”
Eddy pushed Double D aside, “I’ll open it this time and show you that there is no -”
What Eddy saw caused his brain to stop for a second or two. Not only was a horse in a house, but it also was orange and wearing a hat. Suffice to say, it’s been a weird day for him. The only one who reacted was Ed who yelled, “PONIES!” He also tackled it to the ground and began stroking the mane repeating, “Pet the pony... Pet the pony...”
The horse, or pony, pushed the poor lug away from it and did something nobody would’ve expected. It talked, and with the same southern girl accent Double D had heard when he knocked on the door, “Gah, it's a horde of hideous fish faced demon spawn!”
“Hey that only ⅓ true,” Eddy replied to the talking pony, which he didn’t even bother to question how it could talk, and pointed to Ed who waved.
Double D’s mind raced at the thought of a talking horse. Still, he found the words to say, “My most humble apologies. My friends and I were-”
“We need a place to crash and eat. You gonna help a friend out or what?” Eddy interrupted, earning a glare from Double D.
The horse, however, deadpanned, “If you plan on cutting that rude attitude out, I can see if I can talk to my friends to help you out. I would love to help you three...things, I really would, but there’s just not enough room on the farm.”
Ed’s smile somehow got bigger, “Oh boy, oh boy!” He paused for a second, “I forget what we’re doing.”
Double D smiled, “Let’s just follow the nice horse, Ed.”
In an instant the horse responded rather irritably, “Horse!? I’m a pony. Name’s Applejack, ma friends call me AJ,” She extended a hoof to the three, “You?”
Double D returned the gesture, “As a species, we are humans. I’m Edd, and my friends are-”
“I’m Eddy,” He interrupted a second time pointing to their other friend, “and this here is Ed. Don’t worry, he doesn’t really do much.”
“Pleasure to meet y’all...” She murmured arrogantly, now trotting out of the house. “Come on! I need to show you my friends and see if they can help.”
After a minute of silence on their travel, Applejack asked, “How did you folks get here in the first place anyhow?”
“Well,” Double D began, “It all started this morning…”
Ed, Edd, n' Eddy: Equestrian Mis-Edventures
Humble Ed-ginnings pt.2
“Why don’t you have chin?”
“Animation budget cuts.”
“Who would do such a thing?”
“Canadians.”
“Canadians are weird.”
For the Eds, Sugarcube Corner was heaven. Sweets of all shapes and sizes adorned the wall, and gave the air a wonderful scent. On the way to this beautiful place, Double D regaled Applejack of their personal blunder today, though Eddy and even sometimes Ed would cut in in case their friend got off topic or if he went too deep into detail. When they had arrived here -which funnily enough the story somehow ended when they did- Applejack introduced them to her bouncy friend Pinkie Pie. She had a sort of 'Willie-Wonka-and-the-Chocolate-Factory-but-if-Willie-Wonka-was-replaced-by-the-Joker' vibe to her. She proved to be overly-friendly, and even Ed and her were engaged in a conversation, though it came to a screeching halt when Applejack asked, “So do you think you can help them Pinkie?”
“Sorry Applejack! I wish I could, but I just don't have enough room to house three others with the Cake family, me, and gummi. It’s just too crowded here.” Pinkie said in an apologetic tone knowing she wanted to help house new friends. She put a hoof to her chin and asked, “Can I at least give you something before you go?”
“I don’t see why not,” said Applejack. She turned to the Eds and asked, “Do you fellas want a snack before we hit the road?”
The three got into a football play circle and began whispering. When the answers were given it was a unanimous, “JAWBREAKERS!”
“All righty-o!” Pinkie turned her head to Applejack and asked, “Do you want anything AJ?”
All the cowpony did was shake her head. Pinkie smiled, “Three jawbreakers coming right up!”
It seemed like a second she was gone and another she was back. When the Eds saw her they put their hands in front of them. What they got, however, made Eddy less than happy .
“Hey, what gives!? You said you were going to give us Jawbreakers, not gumballs!” Eddy questioned, examining the small ball the pink pony had given him. The other two, however, seemed okay or even downright content that they received their sugary orbs of salvation by not doing any of their harebrained scams. Dreams do come true.
Pinkie giggled, “No silly, those are Jawbreakers! You must be talking about the Jumbo-delicious-Jawbreakers-that-literally-break-your-teeth, but I can’t give them away," She said with a bit too much enthusiasm, "The Cakes want me to actually sell them.”
Eddy rubbed his chin, “Double D, take a note to self.”
Double D shook his head, “Eddy, it’s not a note to self if you don’t-”
“Find some way to get quarters so we can get Jumbo Jawbreakers.”
Reluctantly Eddy popped the small orb into his mouth, as did the other Ed's, and they followed Applejack out the door to her next friend, who happened to be a block away.
Turns out the friend that was a block away from Pinkie was a rather disappointing turnout. The alabaster unicorn named Rarity had let them into her boutique to look around while she talked to Applejack. Turned out she had an extra bed. She would’ve given it to one of them too if they hadn’t submerged her cat 'Opalescence' in the bathtub, granting them one free “Get out before I try to give you a bath!” Suffice to say, they promptly hightailed it out of there and were now on the way to yet another one of the farm pony’s friends. On the way there, Applejack thought it would be a good idea to ask them what they just did.
“Why did you three have to do that to poor Opel?” She said in her thick country accent.
“I didn’t know the cat hated water!” Eddy defended, “We were just trying to give it a bath so we can get some quarters from that friend of yours!”
This argument could’ve, would’ve, and should’ve gone much longer had it not been for the fact that they were now in front of a large tree, whose branches seemed to hit the sky. It had a door, and even a few windows peppered around the estate. Why anybody in their right minds would build a house inside of a tree rather than just atop of it was anybody’s guess. Applejack let her hoof rasp on the door and in a matter of seconds a purple alicorn poked her head out of and smiled.
“Why, hello Appleja-”
That is, until she saw the three bipedal things next to one of her best friends. She could’ve just asked what they were, but slamming the door in front of their faces has to be some sort of avocation for “What the heck did I just see?”
“Is it a custom for you ponies to slam doors in peoples faces when they knock on your door?” Double D asked.
Applejack laughed nervously, “Hang on just one second.”
Applejack entered the house and what followed could never really be described. There were no voices coming out of the house, merely a wide collection of sounds resembling things being broken and shattered. All went quiet for a good moment until Applejack opened the door, let the Ed's in, where the pony promptly apologised for her rash action and introduced herself. She called herself Twilight Sparkle, and said that she was an esteemed student under their ruler, Princess Celestia.
She frowned when she spoke to the Ed's, “Sorry, but I only have one extra bed. However, I will try to find someway to get you three home, but in the meantime you should see our other friends. I’m sure they can help.”
Eddy turned to his friends, “Why don’t you stay here Double D? It seems like you two can have a good conversation, or whatever it is that Eggheads do.
Upon hearing that both Double D and Twilight replied simultaniously, “I am not an Egghead! I’m well read.“ They looked at each other and began to laugh.
“I’m going to miss you Double D! Now I’m never going to see you again!” Ed wailed, tears falling to the wooden floor.
Double D saw his friend’s sad face and patted his back, “There there Ed. We’ll see each other tomorrow, just not for the rest of the day. I can promise you that.”
“Oh boy!” Ed embraced Double D in a hug, the strength of it taking the air out of the poor guy. Ed began to walk out, shouting at Double D, “Bye Double D! I’ll see you tomorrow!”
Eddy did the same, albeit with a little lighthearted sting to it, “Catch ya later Sockhead!”
______________________________________________________
“Look Eddy, chickens!”
Eddy looked to where his limbering friend was pointing a yellow finger to. Evidently, there was a chicken coop in the distance along with a chicken walking around it. It seemed to be looking for food the way it harshly pecked at the dirt, always coming out empty. To Eddy, it seemed as if Ed was looking into Nirvana, and in an instant he was gone.
Eddy turned to Applejack, “I didn’t know you ponies had a petting zoo.”
“We don’t,” Applejack answered, “This is Fluttershy’s cottage. She’s a caretaker of animals.”
“So a babysitter?” Eddy asked, pointing at the farm pony.
“Like a veterinarian of sorts.”
Applejack approached the cottage and knocked on the door. For the two, they didn’t seem to notice Ed coming back from the nearby chicken coop, destroyed fence in his wake and his arms holding more chickens than he can carry. The knock was quickly answered by a yellowish pony with a rather long pink mane, closely resembling Pinkie’s coat. She asked very weakly, “Hello Applejack... what brings you here?”
Applejack took a step back and showed Fluttershy the remaining Eds. Truth be told, no matter how well she hid, she was surprised. They looked like some sort of strange looking chupacabras. The one that looked the strangest, however, was the towering one dressed in green. He seemed to have captured all of her chickens and is now petting one of her chickens repeating the same phrase over and over again, “Pet the chicken, pet the chicken.”
“Please let them go,” Fluttershy pleaded, “They need to breath.”
“Aw,” Ed lowered his head letting the chickens fall to the ground and scatter, “But I love the chickens!”
“We know Ed, we know.” Eddy responded, giving Ed a pat on the back.
“Do you think you can give these two housing Sugarcube?” Applejack asked her friend, “They need to get home to their own land, but in the meantime, they're stuck here in Equestria.”
“Oh, of course I can!” Fluttershy answered. She could never really deny learning about a new animal and their ecosystem, “Just that with all of my animals I only have enough room for one.”
Eddy was about to claim this bed, but the chickens who were still around were giving him a stare that made his blood freeze, “You know what Lumpy? Why don’t you stay with this nice pony. I don’t like the way the chickens are looking at me.”
With Applejack and Eddy descended the steps of the cottage and on to the dirt road, Ed yelled, “Bye Eddy! See you tomorrow!”
Eddy just waved as him and Applejack went to her next friend and hopefully last.
They now found themselves in the center of the village, aptly named Ponyville, waiting for Applejack’s supposedly last friend. When a blue blur sped on past them, Applejack yelled, “Rainbow Dash!”
In an instant, the blur came back and slowed down to a halt. The cyan mare had the weirdest mane color of rainbow, with her cyan wings brandishing from her middle.
“Oh, hey AJ! What’s up?”
“This fella needs a home until we can get him and his friends back where they belong. Can you please help him?” Applejack asked, pointing a hoof to Eddy. All he did was make the puppy eyes, the most dreaded thing known to decision making.
“I don’t know AJ,” answered Rainbow, “ I do have a extra bed in my house, but I don’t think this short fry is cool enough.”
What followed was her and Eddy’s greatest conversation known to man.
“But I am,” said Eddy.
“No you’re not,” replied Rainbow
“I am.”
“You’re not.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
“I’m not!”
“You are and you’re gonna stay at my place and like it!” Rainbow screamed.
“OK,” said Eddy, smug grin plastered on his face. All Rainbow did was slap her hoof to her face.
The ride to Rainbow Dash’s house was rather uneventful. Before hand, Applejack had told them she was headed home as her family was probably worried, so Rainbow took hold of the yellow shirt wearing human. Eddy explained what his name was and how they got toarrived, though the truth may have been fabricated quite a bit to make it look like the three Ed's were cool. It made things worse when Rainbow learned he couldn’t fly, because she had to carry him and boy was he heavy. Luckily, she got him to the clouds easily, but when he walked over to the entrance of the large house she was confused.
“Uh, Eddy?” Rainbow asked.
“Yeah?” Eddy asked.
“How are you standing on the clouds?”
Eddy looked down and upat his feet, “I don’t kn- “ Eddy then proceeded to fall from the clouds and began to plummet to the ground. Thinking quickly, Rainbow dived below the clouds and tried to spot Eddy. Luckily, she was able to spot the yellow blur steadily falling and even more so she was able to catch him before his face welcomed the ground. Slowly descending to the ground Rainbow commented, “We’re gonna need to see Twilight.”
***
“Here,” Twilight said, levitating a white medicine bottle to one of Eddy’s stubby hands, “These are a spells inside a pill form. You just have to swallow one every day and you’ll be able to walk on the clouds.”
When they entered the library, it seemed as if Double D had made himself at home. Labels reached as far as the eye can see and made the place look like a label sea. It seemed as if only Twilight was there, except she went on a crazy label spree and badly added to her OCD problem.
“Ugh,” Eddy complained, sticking a finger in mouth and making a fake gagging sound, “I hate pills.”
Twilight smirked, “Yes, but I’m sure you hate falling to your death even more.”
Eddy opened the bottle without much difficulty, placed a small multi-colored pill and poped it in his mouth. Swallowing, he said irritated, “There. Happy?”
“Very,” Twilight replied a small smile on her face. Rainbow and Eddy waved goodbye to Twilight and began to head home, but not until they heard Twilight’s voice piercing the library with, “EDD! WHY DID YOU LABEL ALL THE BOOKS ‘BOOK’!? COME FIX IT THIS INSTANT!”
Ed, Edd, n' Eddy: Equestrian Mis-Edventures
Sweltering heat and unforgiving weather. That’s how most ponies describe the Appleloosan badlands that are untouched by civilization. The only way a creature that is not built for such habitat can get through is if he is at the highest degree of insane. Much like that fellow over there, atop of a big with it’s inventory piled so high it brings a colossus to shame.
…
You mean you don’t see him? I can can see him clear as day. Look over there, do you see him now? He’s the human with the blue hair on a pig for crying out loud! It shouldn’t be that hard to spot.
Now you see him? Great! Anyway, as I was saying…
“Look Wilfred, what barbarian would just their trees of sustenance to just lay waste in this desolate land?” Rolf asked his pack pig Wilfred as they wandered through an apple orchard surrounded by rocks and dead shrubs.
What do you think you’re doing? I was going to give you an amazing introduction rivaled by kings, and you just interrupt me? Typical for kids these days.
“Rolf has no time for poppycock introduction, the Ed boys must be found by the might of the son of a shepherd!” The farmer yelled into the sky as if he was actually talking to someone other than his pig.
You have any idea what we’re doing right now? The fourth wall is basically evaporated because of you. I’m pretty sure none of the other characters in this story could do this. You are probably the worst main character for a chapter I ever worked with. Even Deadpool was better than you with his fourth wall breakage.
“You have squeezed an orange rind in the eye of Rolf!” And with that he started to swing a pitch fork into air mainically.
You don’t scare me buddy! I’m just a figment of your dehydrated imagination.
“Silence, Rolf must brood!” Rolf said as he grabbed a chunk of dirt and started to smell it hoping to get a scent of the three nincompoops that had defiled his friends and his precious cul-de-sac for the last time.
After hours of sniffing dirt Rolf had finally found in the distance a small western town with a large clock tower being the biggest sight so far. “Quiet Wilfred, Intet the Ed boys are sure to flee in an instant, follow Rolf’s posterior silently.” Rolf said towards his pig and voice in his head as he grabbed a cardboard box and put it on and started to sneak into the town. This was made all the more funny as he was actually being serious with this and rammed into quite a few buildings that probably made him hear me all the more better.
“Ed boys! You have broken a celery stalk on the back of a sea urchin for the last time!” Rolf yelled as he jumped out of the box and swung his pitchfork around the town square as various ponies looked at the fool with complete confusion.
“Excuse me partner, but why are you acting more strange than a frog on a pogo stick?” A yellow stallion with burnt orange hair wearing a Stetson hat asked as he walked up towards the crazed man.
“I am looking for three buffoons named Ed, Edd and Eddy” Rolf said in anger as he pulled out a picture showing what his targets looked like.
“Sorry mister I don’t believe I’ve seen those weird looking creatures.” The pony said knowing his help was not useful.
“Curses, now how will I punish them?” The son of a shepard asked himself thinking his trail had gone cold.
Hey buddy they’re about a couple hundred miles that way. Here let me use this cactus to help
“Thank you Intet.” Rolf said as he waved at the cactus, though most think he went fully crazy as he stared at the sun for a few minutes.
“If ya need any help just come back ya hear.” Braeburn yelled as he saw the blue biped walk out of the town.
“Silence! Rolf must hunt.” With that he started to sniff the ground leaving the town with Wilfred following behind him.
Author's Note
The title was a parody of Chronicles of Riddick
Intet = Nothing in Danish
Ed, Edd, n' Eddy: Equestrian Mis-Edventures
Return of the Thingamajig
“I’m telling ya Ed, there is no way that we’re all cartoon characters brought together by Canadian aliens.” Double D said as he held his head in irritation from listening to his dimwitted friend’s conspiracy theory.
“I’m telling you guys they control everything, how we look, how we talk and, how we go about our lives.” Ed said as he hid himself in a barrel in fear.
The other friends sighed and walked on through the dirt street. Ed, having seen his friends walk away from him, bursted the barrel into splinters and ran to their side. With the notion of no television or really anything to speak of, the Eds were spending this day just walking around and discussing just about anything. It had gotten to the point where Ed again brought up the idea of them being a canadian cartoon show, and along with the ponies, are just in some crossover story.
“With all that beside we gotta find a way to get some money in order to get those jawbreakers Pinkie Pie told us about.” Eddy said as he started to pace around the group.
“Well we could try selling apple cider from a machine designed to make it in a cost effective way.” Double D suggested, but Eddy waved a hand at him.
“That's a stupid idea, we’re scammers not businessmen!” Eddy yelled in anger thinking the idea was stupid. “Since these ponies don’t know anything about our reputation we could try doing some of our old scams. Don’t worry Sock head, we’re being cost effective. After all, we are recycling.”
“If our plans didn’t work back home why do you think do you think they will work here?!” Double D yelled knowing his idea was even stupider than the scam that led them to Equestria in the first place.
“We’re telling you Twilight, we don’t think those ruffians can be trusted!” Inside the Golden Oak Library, the air was tense. Six friends divided amongst themselves, three on one side and two on the other, now trying to get the neutral one on one of the sides. Rarity was the first to speak, and she said something she would look at as unlady like.
“I don’t know Rarity, those guys seem ok with me.” Pinkie said thinking her friends accusation of the trio was unjustified. She was happy at least one of her friends, Fluttershy, agreed with her, but still a little sad that her friends were arguing.
“Um… from what I’ve seen Ed seems to really love my chickens.” Fluttershy said shaking slightly from the glares her three other friends were giving her.
“Oh come on Fluttershy! If that little shrimpy one was able to trick me into giving him my extra room, than any of them can do that. Also with his con artist personality, they’re undoubtedly up to something.” Rainbow Dash said annoyed that her two best friends were defending the Eds.
“I can’t help but agree with Rainbow here. Something about them varmints just screams dishonesty to me.” Applejack replied, backing her friend’s viewpoint and even strengthening it.
“Guys, to be honest I’m sure the Eds are fine people. Sure Double D was annoying with labeling all the books in the library ‘Book’ and nearly labeled the entire library in a matter of hours, but they seem like good people.” Twilight said trying to stay as neutral as possible but was leaning towards the opposing team as memories were being rekindled.
“Well I hope you are right Twilight.” Rarity said., using a hoof to touch up her mane
Twilight looked down on the ground kicked at it. She really didn’t like this, not one bit. She knew they had some good in them. They wouldn’t do anything wrong would they?
meanwhile within town square
“Has this ever happen to you?” Eddy yelled towards an audience of ponies in the center of town as they saw Ed pretending to die of hunger, “Well things like this are a thing of the past with the Thingamajig!” he yelled as he revealed what appeared to be a small gumball machine filled with things that shouldn’t belong in a gumball machine. With a press of a button the machine fired out a candy apple towards Ed who opened his gigantic maw to practically inhale it, stick and all.
Double D was on the side of the two reading his script full of his lines, “There’s more!”
“You bet there is; Average Joe?” Eddy said with his usually salesman tone as he asked Ed a question but due to his empty headedness Ed completely oblivious to what was going on so Eddy had to slap him.
“I am in dire need of fruit.” Ed said gleefully as he looked at the crowd.
“Not to worry my friend, the Thingamajig will stop your need.” Eddy said pressing the machine again to release an apple towards him.
“No problemo.” Double D said in an irritated tone noticing that the scam was going exactly like it did back home.
“It changed my life.” Eddy said showing off the device again.
“Your smooth talk isn’t going to convince me that easily. What’s this gonna cost us hard workers?” A stallion in the crowd asked Eddy.
“Yeah, I bet it costs a lot.” A mare in the crowd added to the stallions question.
“An amazing product like this could cost up to a million bucks, but in the next five minutes you can have it for only two bits!” Eddy said hoping to seal the deal with the audience and pretty soon they started to crowd the display like a shark to blood.
“Finally! I’ll never run out of horn polish.” A unicorn said walking off with glee, hugging her Thingamajig box and walking away from both two bits and her intelligence.
“I can finally have an all purpose gardening tool!” An earth pony said walking off with his box.
“Gentlemen, I remember there being only one Thingamajig, but where did you get the fruit and sweets?” Double D asked as he saw the ponies acting idiotic as they cherished their boxes full of empty dreams.
“Oh, you know. From Applesnacks and Pink Dye’s place.” Eddy answered, sweat starting to roll down his neck.
“And I suppose that you paid for them or at the very least asked, right?” Double D asked, glaring at the head conman.
“We paid them with nothing, am I right Eddy?” Ed said giving away on how they got the food. Eddy saw this and activated the Thingamajig, causing a boxing glove to knock the living daylights out of Ed.
“Eddy how could you?” Double D asked furiously, “They helped us find sanctuary here and you reduced yourselves to thievery, oh I know you thought about this in an episode once but we never went through with it!”
“A what?” Eddy asked, looking into the blue sky, hoping his question would be answered.
Don’t ask me, I’m just the narrator.
“I can’t stand for this I’m reporting this!” Double D said as he ran off to who knows where.
“Eh, by the time they get here the cash will already been spent.” Eddy said as he walked off with the jar full of bits.
Double D ran towards Twilight and the rest of the main six as they were still debating about the Ed’s, “Twilight! I need your help, Eddy and Ed stole from Applejack and Pinkie Pie to trick ponies into buying boxes full of lies!”
“See! We told you that they can’t be trusted!” Rainbow Dash yelled only proving the Anti-Eds groups point.
“But Double D was the only one to be honest and confess.” Twilight interjected, “Anyway take us to them.” and with that the group followed Double D to where the other two were.
“What pigeons, right Ed?” Eddy asked his slow witted friend as the headed towards a hiding place for their money.
“But they’re ponies Eddy.” Ed interjected thinking Eddy was acting dumb.
“Whatever.” Eddy said annoyed.
“There you two are!” Twilight said coming in from a street corner, “You two are going to return all that money to the ponies you sold these empty boxes.”
“You’ll have to catch me first!” Eddy yelled pushing Ed towards them hoping to stall them as he made his quick getaway, “Now all I need is some spring shoes.” as he activated the machine to his unliking generated a sack full of rocks.
“No use running short fry!” Rainbow yelled flying towards Eddy.
“Come on I need a net or something.” Eddy said desperately but only gave out a book labeled ‘Running Away Like a Dork: for Dummies’ which only stalled Eddy long enough for Rainbow to tackle him into the unforgiving ground.
Eddy felt the same sting he did back in Peach Creek, but it only felt worse since he was forced to give the money back and apologize to every last pony he conned. His jar losing weight with every apology didn’t help either.
“Since y’all stole from us, the two of you need to prove to us that we can trust you.” Applejack said in disgust not even looking at Ed and Eddy.
“What about Sock head, he helped?” Eddy asked thinking Double D got off scot-free from the accident.
“He came and told us the truth he has my trust, but you two need to redeem yourselves.” Twilight said sternly towards Eddy as Ed looked like he knew he wasn’t going to be friends with pinkie after this.
Meanwhile in a mountain range
Look Rolf, all I’m saying is that maybe you’re a little too harsh on Wilfred.
“Rolf has no horse and Wilfred was the next best thing because Victor hates walking long distances.” Rolf replied to Intet thinking the use of Wilfred was justified
That’s all well and good, but did you really have to put a mountain of stuff on him? You haven’t even given the poor pig a break.
“He’ll take a break when he passes out!” Rolf yelled.
Right, then how are you going to find those “criminals” when Wilfred can’t even move?
“Easy Intet, watch this.” with that Rolf pulled out a slingshot the size of the Titanic to catapult him and the pig over various distances, “Behold the Farshooter! and now to demonstrate how we’ll get around if Wilfred passes out.” soon Rolf loaded both him and Wilfred into the colossal slingshot and flung them both far out of the mountain range.
I still think it’s unethicalllllllllllllllllllllllll!
Ed, Edd, n' Eddy: Equestrian Mis-Edventures
"Hurry up wide load!" Eddy exclaimed as he just casually walked in front of the three mares he crossed with his Thingamajig fiasco. Ed seemed more interested with the ground, but with the consequence with crashing into every tree in existence.
"I'm a woodpecker Eddy!" The lovable oaf replied as he started to drag his face into the ground, " 'Cept with dirt."
"Just remember small fry, we ain't taking no funny business from either of y'all." Applejack stated as she cut off Eddy, "This trip is supposed to be relationship buildin'."
"Yeah, so none of your slick talk." Rainbow added before looking at Ed quizzically, "Though I'm not sure what's with him."
The trek had been a tedious one until the group made it to the spot. "Now to start the campfire." Pinkie stated as she grabbed a economy sized jumbo bag of 'Ready for S'more' marshmallows.
Setting up the camp would've been faster if Eddy didn't waste all his time making Ed do his part of work, "Trust me monobrow, I got an idea to have some real fun with the camp fire." Eddy stated as he rubbed his hands maniacally.
"How are you gonna do that Eddy?" Ed questioned as he gathered more wood for the fire.
"I thought of revising something from those Urban Losers..."
Night Time
"There's something magical about fires that make you want to stare into it all night isn't there girls?" Pinkie asked as she and Ed continued to roast every marshmallow in the bag.
"I'd have to agree with you on that Pinks." Eddy replied, "So much that it reminds me of this little story."
"A story?" Applejack asked in a cynical manner.
"I highly doubt you could tell a camp fire story." Rainbow said with a cocky smirk.
Eddy's grin grew as the words came out like a chilling wind, "Well it's something called... the cutie mark eater." As the night went on the story became more and more frightening than what they had initially thought when Eddy first mentioned the story. It didn't help much since Eddy acted out the story, "AAHHH! Don't come any closer!" He exclaimed, "But it just kept coming towards her, staring at with it's one eye. She ran into the woods hoping for safety, but she could hear it coming for with every step." At this point the ponies and Ed were cowering in total fear as he acted out the monster's grisly voice, "I want to eat your cutie mark!"
Pinkie was the first to scream as she ran into Ed's jacket for safety as Rainbow and Applejack grabbed each other as Eddy just rolled around in the dirt and laugh like a total madman, "Oh jeeze, you guys outta see the look on your faces! There's no such thing as a Cutie mark eater, I made it up!" Just as if the universe was listening, the winds began to grow more violent and the fire that had helped enhance the story had suddenly died out leaving the group lost in the dark.
"Oh no..." Ed commented, "This is like the story, soon enough the monster will come for us and feed us to the minions of Hades!"
"Ed, I told you that I made the story up!" Eddy shouted, "It's as real as Sockhead's love life." Despite the macho façade, Eddy was just as terrified as he was with how the story transitioned into real life. Truly it was getting pretty weird for everyone, but as long as there weren't any rustling bushes then they would be fine.
RUSTLE, RUSTLE
"Okay this is getting pretty scary." Rainbow stated, "Why couldn't you tell a story about something else like a crazy snail wizard!"
"I don't think this arguing gonna get us anywhere." Applejack said flatly, "I think we can all agree that we should try and get to somewhere brighter."
Soon enough a monstrous growl came from within the darkness sending chills down everyone's spine. "SPONGE STAMPEDE!" Ed exclaimed as Pinkie popped out of his shirt and the two ran through the trees leaving nothing more than dust and twigs.
The remaining three campers silently looked at each other and decided to follow suit. "Ya know Eddy..." Applejack tried to say through her short breaths, "Despite what happened with that idiotic scam of yers, I still consider ya'll semi-decent folk!"
"Yeah, I mean you got me to give you my spare room, you have to be somewhat cool enough to fool me to do that!" Dash added.
"Save the apologies for later!" Eddy responded towards the two mares, "keep running!"
Eventually the five had made it back to some familiar roads and began to collect their breath. "Well I guess that's one way to get the blood pumping." Applejack jokingly said as Pinkie finally jumped out of Ed's jacket and shook out any and all remnants of the oafish boy's personal belongings from her mane.
"I think this was a trip worth remembering." Eddy said before being stopped by Rainbow Dash's wing.
"Not so fast short stack." The rainbow speedster said, "I don't know what was going on in those woods, but all I'm gonna say is that if you two apologize... then we'll forget that dumb scam you pulled off."
The two boys looked at each other and simply nodded, "As long as we're still gonna forget my humiliating defeat, we're golden." Eddy soon said.
"Yeah, even though it was pretty funny Eddy." Ed said as he began to laugh. The laughter was contagious and everyone began to laugh about the other day.
"Now all I wanna know is what the heck that thing in the woods was." Applejack said as the group began to walk back towards their respected homes.
"Who knows." Eddy said as he began to start his casual stroll, "I just hope we don't have to deal with whatever that was."
Meanwhile back in the woods
The rustling continued as a voice quickly followed, "Hello?! The great and powerful Trixie requires some assistance in finding her hat; the wind had blown it off, and I working on an empty stomach isn't helping much.!"
Author's Note
Holy Cow, does it feel great to update this fic again. Sorry to anyone who has been watching this stories preogression. After countless retries of working on alien animal mercenaries and the misadventures of a bird and bear; it just feels great to continues the wacky ventures of 3 friends trying to pull off scams while on the lamb from their fellow cul-de-sac peers.
Anyways, hope you had a great time reading this. Have a great day.
Ed, Edd, n' Eddy: Equestrian Mis-Edventures
The citizens of Ponyville were all up in a frenzy; normally this was accounted to a town meeting, a party led by Pinkie Pie, or news of re-elections coming up, but this wasn't one of those times. "What's all the hub bub?" Eddy asked.
"Seems that there's some sort of social gathering." Double D assumed given that everyone in town was just as confused as the trio of friends.
"Is it Friendship day!?" Ed asked with glee as he began to hum the 'friends are there to help you' song.
"Don't remind me of that." Double D said before shuddering, "I'm still finding fruit under my hat."
The uttering had finally went down as soon as a large puff of smoke had appeared, "Fillies and Gentlecolts; after months and months of reimaging, be prepared for an amazing comeback."
The Ed's were shocked at the voice from within the smoke. A familiar voice, a voice that sent chills down their spines.
"Behold the Great and powerful TRIXIE!" The smoke cleared to reveal a light blue unicorn in a purple cloak and hat. She began to send sparks to amaze the crowd, which worked on all but Twilight and the Ed's.
While Twilight merely sighed and rolled her eyes, the Ed's could not help but actually laugh louder than a hyena in a laughing gas factory.
"Ah jeeze, here I thought we were gonna be dealing with Shovel Chin, but it sounds like he's on helium!" Eddy shouted out of his own laughter.
The trio's laughter had gotten so loud that the show mare had taken offense to it, "Who dares to insult my voice?!"
"Despite everything, I cannot believe her voice surprisingly does sound like Kevin." Double D added, having more control over his laughter.
The Ed's instantly shut up as the unicorn stepped up towards the trio, "And what is the deal with you three... sea monkeys?"
"Trixie, these are some of my companions." Twilight stated, getting in between them, "And I would appreciate it if you wouldn't try anything extreme with them."
Trixie laughed, "Really Twilight? Being friends with those things is one thing, but what could there be so important that I shouldn't mess with them?" Twilight tried to speak for the Ed's but of course Eddy responded to Trixie's big mouth with an even bigger mouth.
"Well I bet you thirty bits that I can get lumpy here to do something so ridiculous that even you can't do it!" Eddy exclaimed as he pulled in his friend in as Ed simply waved towards the audience.
"Very well." Trixie said, "Bring your best and I will see you by noon."
"You're on!" Eddy responded as he dragged his two friends away as Trixie disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Moments Later
"Make fun of me will she..." Eddy mumbled as he was digging through the town's garbage dump looking for something specific.
"Eddy you don't have to try and prove anything to her." Twilight said, "Trixie is nothing but a show boater."
"Oh I ain't gonna prove anything." Eddy responded as he pulled out two walkie-talkies, a roll of tape, and a monster toy, "But I know someone else that can, now help me with this bed!" Twilight reluctantly helped Eddy pick up the broken and dirty mattress, all the while Eddy laughed maniacally knowing he on the path to easy money.
Later that Day
When the time for the challenge arrived the only members on Eddy's side which lead Trixie to laugh at how it seemed Eddy had threw the match.
Ed was standing there awkwardly until he heard yet another familiar voice, "Hey you!" Ed quickly looked around to see where the voice was coming from. This went on for a while until he saw a green monster figure, "Approach me mortal, for I the great Baron O' Beef Dip have returned!"
"Baron, you're alive!" Ed exclaimed as he hugged the figure completely ignoring the walkie-talkie haphazardly taped to the toy's back.
"I never left to begin with fool!" The Baron replied. Every last pony was just confused seeing Ed act like the toy was a real creature, which lead to Trixie trying to figure out with what Eddy had meant with his challenge.
"What are you're commands my master?" Ed asked
"First off, hit your head against a tree!" The toy said, Ed quickly followed as the toy commanded and rammed his head into a tree. Trixie saw the oaf's action and tried her best to replicate it, luckily she just went through the hole Ed left behind.
"Now bend over and pick up a rock with your mouth." Baron O' Beef Dip added to the list of commands he wanted Ed to obey. Ed and Trixie both followed the commands, but only Trixie was successful as Ed kept eating his rocks.
This went on for a while until the tie breaker had come to the Baron's mind, "Now eat a mattress."
Trixie and Ed looked around until a mattress had suddenly appeared by the tree Ed had practically destroyed, "Yum!" Ed exclaimed as he made a mad dash towards the bed.
Trixie was still trying to process what the command was going on before she saw Ed, "Good Lord man!"
Ed had somehow wrapped his mouth around the mattress and proceeded to devour it like a snake does to an large egg."That hit the spot." Ed said, satisfied from his meal.
"Okay, Trixie can do whatever that thing demand, but I will not submit myself to needless taxing of my digestive system!" Trixie exclaimed as she picked up the toy, "Baron O' Beef Dip, you shall not make a fool out of Trix-"
"DON'T LET HER TOUCH ME!" The toy shouted, causing Trixie to drop it. Ed Picked it up back up to protect it.
"Obey me mortal. Wolf down the non believer!" The Baron commanded. That command sent chills down Trixie's spine as Ed began to mindlessly walk towards the show pony.
"I shall obey! Must eat non believer!" Ed said as he began to chase Trixie in a circle.
"Here, take the bits!" Trixie shouted as she pulled out a bag full of bits, "You win!" With that Trixie ran out of town, leaving all but three now what was going on.
"Very funny Eddy, now make him stop before we lose sight of him." Double D said snapping Eddy out of his laughter fit.
"Take five mortal." Eddy spoke into the walkie-talkie, stopping Ed into his tracks.
"Gotcha Baron, but what else do you command?" Ed asked as he held the toy closely towards his ear.
"Yeah get me and your friends some sandwiches." Baron replied. With that Ed ran off to get whatever he needed for sandwiches.
Double D, Eddy and Twilight all gathered around to grab the toy, "Well Eddy I guess you were right." She said looking at the toy.
"Yeah, you really can fool anyone with the right bait and voice." Eddy said as he grabbed the bag of bits.
Double D looked at Twilight and Eddy and knew there were just some things that couldn't change, "I think that's the last time we should try this scam." Though there was some things that could.
"As much as I love pulling off all these classic scams, I think we should avoid that scam since it was a huge waste of time and tape." Eddy said before the hand that was holding the bag of bits was suddenly crushed under a hastily made sandwich.
"Baron O' Beef Dip is pleased now." Ed happily said with a toothy grin as the sandwiches began to drip sauces and fall apart.
Author's Note
Yep, having Trixie at the end of the last chapter wasnt just some cheap joke. decided to use her in this chapter.
Fun fact for those who dont know: Trixie's VA actually did voice Kevin when Ed Edd n Eddy was still running. So Ed and Double D aren't the only ones with Pony counterparts.
And remember never question the Great Baron O' Beef Dip, or his believers will wolf you down.
Ed, Edd, n' Eddy: Equestrian Mis-Edventures
The day seemed simple enough; ponies laughing, the weather being perfect, and the Ed's trying yet again trying another scam that was ending in a slow painful way. "Remind me again why this was even an acceptable idea?" Double D asked as he looked at all the empty cups and paper plates.
"Last time I checked, conjoined restaurants were popular." Eddy replied, "So why not get two scams out for the price of one?" It is true the trio did combine their taco stand with their En-o-gee drink stands in the hope the combination would lead to easier riches.
"Olé!" Ed shouted as he brought in more grass for the tacos, but at this point the amount of grass was starting to stink up the stand.
"At least I managed to keep this jar of my brother's hot sauce with me when we were being chased." Eddy stated as Ed began to eat the taco ingredients along with the sauce.
"I think this is the only real ingredient here." Double D said grabbing a few droplets, "We're surrounded by crayons and lawn trimmings."
"This sauce is a real gut burner, these ponies should be running towards us." Eddy added as he finally ate some of the sauce.
Unfortunately the trio had not learned their lesson on the hot sauce as the heat was starting to take over; Double D was the first to give in as his hat started to give off steam. Eddy quickly saw this as he saw Ed's head burnt up like a used match stick. Finally Eddy began to crack as the three hairs on his head began to burn up like dynamite. With the combined heat of the trio lead to the stand to go up in a fiery inferno. The friends rushed towards the nearest source of water in hopes to douse the fires within them, until a loud shriek broke them out of their hysteria.
"Oh dear, a shout of terror." Double D spoke out.
"Dad's home!" Ed shouted with joy.
Rainbow Dash flew about as if she won the lottery, well it wasn't the lottery but it was the next best thing. She went to Carousel Boutique to tell Rarity the news.
"Honestly Rainbow, couldn't this have waited?" The fashionista asked, "I am in the middle of fixing a dress."
"It can wait, guess who has an invite to the Wonderbolts' annual meeting in Manehattan?" Rainbow asked with a wide grin.
Rarity couldn't believe he ears at the news Rainbow said and couldn't help but shriek in utter joy. "Are you going to invite the other girls?" She quickly asked.
"Yeah about that..." Rainbow started, "Seems like you, me, and Pinkie are the only ones free to go; I'd hate to see the rest of the invites go to waste."
Soon enough Rarity got an idea, "What if we weren't the only three available."
Later
"A Dickie? They make these things here?!" Eddy asked as he and the Ed boys were pretty much Rarity's mannequins for formal clothing that could fit them.
"Oh please, be glad you only have to wear these for the one night and only for a few hours." Rarity said as she put the finishing touches on the suits.
"Yeah and you three better act civilized." Rainbow said, "Not only for you guy's image, but to keep from embarrassing yourselves, but us in the progress."
"I can full heartedly say that I can say that we will try our best." Double D said holding his hand up.
"Hey Ed, bet you can't try and beat Secret Agent Eddy!" The big mouthed Ed Boy said socking Ed in the arm.
"Do not taunt the Claw!" Ed retorted, forming one of his hands into a vague pirate hook. Eddy quickly tackled the oaf causing a mess in the boutique with Rarity quickly following them.
"Stop these shenanigans!" She exclaimed, "These suits are not fitted for relaxed fit!"
"Well hopefully they will get most of that out of their system."
Later on in the Day
Twilight and the others were seeing the Ed's and girls off, "You guys have fun with the Wonderbolts."
"Try not to act all fancy scmancy when y'all return alright" Applejack said jokingly.
"Don't worry, we'll be fine." Rainbow said as Ed and Rarity were taking the luggage.
"Yeah, like the voyage of the Nostromo this should be fun!" Ed said with joy.
Eddy couldn't help but try to break the news to big lug, "Ed you do know that that ship had-" He was soon Stopped by Double D.
"Let him have his moment." With that the train began to depart the station, heading towards Manehattan.
Somewhere within the Ghastly Gorge
"The Ed-boy's fortitude is to be admired!" Rolf said as he carried the pile of junk that Wilfred usually carried.
'I told you that straining the pig was an idiotic idea. Especially since he attacked you.'
"Silence Intet!" Rolf shouted towards the empty space around him, "We will find Wilfred, and when we do he will be stricken from the annual 'Son of a Shepard Custard Bake-Off'!"
'Sure buddy, whatever helps you sleep at night.'
Rolf's journey had been rather cumbersome since the crash landing he had caused. Not only did his loyal swine leave him; but when Rolf tried to get him back, he attacked the young man with little to no hesitation and quickly ran off.
"Trust me Intet, the will of the Son of a Shepard beats strong like the hearts of thirty yaks! Not only will we find Wilfred, but we have the Ed-boys' heads upon spears by nightfall."
'Listen Rolf, we don't even know where those fools are! For all we know we are just running around in an endless wild goose chase for people that may or may not even be here!'
"They are here, I can smell trickery and toast upon the winds!"
'That's just the food you have cooking getting to you. Take a break for once in your journey and drink some water.'
"Intet, I do not require such things, my will to hunt the Eds down fuels me!"
'Why did I get stuck with this loon?'
Author's Note
Yeah i decided to modify whenever Intet is talking by giving him ' ' so it is easier to see if he is talking or not.
Now the Eds are on their way to Manehattan to see the Wonderbolts. What will happen? What will they discover? Is buttered toast better than Pie?
All these and more will be answered within the next two chapters of the Manehattan Project.
Ed, Edd, n' Eddy: Equestrian Mis-Edventures
The evening of the Wonderbolt Social had finally arrived and the levels of excitement were through the roof. Ponies from every corner of Equestria came to try and catch a mere glimpse of the militarized rulers of the skies. Rainbow and her friends were glad their tickets allowed them into the inner circle of the party, where they would be able to be with the fliers and enjoy their company. "Wow Rainbow, how the heck did you get these type of tickets anyhow?" Eddy asked as he looked at all the ponies in suits.
"Let's just say I've helped them a few times in the past." Rainbow replied not wanting to go too into detail about the times she saved or helped the Wonderbolts when they were in dire situations.
"Look Rainbow, it's Soarin!" Pinkie exclaimed as she pointed towards a light blue Pegasus talking to two other pegasi. "Think we should go and talk?"
"Maybe." Rainbow said, "I kinda want to enjoy myself before we do any talking."
"Has anyone seen Ed recently?" Double D asked as there was a surprisingly low presence of Ed's brand of crazy.
"Don't tell me we already lost him!" Eddy exclaimed as he looked around frantically. The group began to search high and low for the big lump and prayed there wasn't going to be a repeat of Ed-Zilla.
Eddy ran about before bumping into Rarity, "Did you find him?" He asked.
"I think I've found him." Rarity said as she noticed Ed walking up towards the main Wonderbolt team. What happened next was more surprising than anything that had ever happened to them; more than Twilight becoming an Alicorn, more than Santa Claus being real, and even Rolf's personal war on Valentines day. Ed and Soarin began to have a legitimate conversation.
"I get where you're coming from, but pie's are totally superior to toast." Soarin said to the oaf, "The flaky layers and sweet filings just make it the more appealing food."
Ed seemed to be losing the debate, but he stood his ground, "While I have to agree with you in some aspect, I have to decline your idea." Ed replied with the linguistic skills that even Double D would be jealous of. "While toast is more of a food for the individual alone, the amount of customization that toast allows can give an almost infinite ways of enjoyment. Besides if toast is paired with jams, it's pretty much an open faced pie."
The amount of passion the two had over their respected treats was astounding. The more they went on the more they began to see eye to eye on the ideas they represented. "You know what, you're alright big guy." Soarin said as he put his hoof around Ed's shoulder. Who knew pie and toast could co-exist in peace; the two began to walk around the party, making laughter and good times as they went along until they ran into Rainbow and the gang.
"Hi guys." Ed said, "This pony is a real laugh riot, and the funny thing is he kinda sounds like me!"
"Well it seems you tow have been getting along nicely." Rainbow said elated that there want going to be any mass mayhem for the night.
The group went on and told Soarin everything, from how they met and how the Ed's even landed in Equestria in the first place. The discussion was indeed odd, but it seemed normal. The talk was then interrupted by a pegasus in royal blue suit began to talk into a microphone.
"Good evening everyone, my name is Spitfire." The Pegasus began, "I want to welcome you all to the Wonderbolts' annual social meet up." The ponies the supposedly were Wonderbolts all got up as ponies clapped their hooves together. The talking went on for what seemed like hours until the Ed's saw a band getting ready to play, "Now with all that out of the way, let the party begin!" With that ponies began to cheer and the band started to play.
The tune sounded familiar as Soarin and Ed decided to get on the dance floor. "That's my horse!" Ed shouted as he slapped Soarin's front hooves.
"No way, you know this song?" The Pegasus asked, "I haven't heard this in years!" It seemed true that the supposed song sounded like the one Double D played when they tried to make their neighbor Rolf feel less homesick about his homeland, but this one seemed more jovial and less hollow. Maybe it was due to the fact there was no jug player in the band. "That's my horse!" Soarin shouted back at Ed as he hit the oaf square in the gut.
Ed didn't really feel the pain, proabably because he had trained himself before with Rolf in the barbaric dance; Ed simply retorted as he grabbed a pie and slammed it into Soarin's face.
The two just laughed as the amount of items got more ridiculous as the song continued. The girls were surprised that Pinkie joined in and blasted the two with her travel sized party canon.
"C'mon sockhead, this is getting fun." Eddy said as he stepped onto the dancefloor. Unfortunately history wasn't Eddy's strongest subject... well almost any academic subject wasn't Eddy's strong suit, because the moment he got near the trio they all shouted 'That's my horse' and began to beat Eddy and sent him flying.
Double D began to quiver in fear as he knew he would be next, "It's your horse, it your horse!" He shouted hoping he would be spared.
"Oh come on Double D, don't you remember the last time?" Ed asked as he grabbed his friend's arm, "It goes like this!" With that Ed began to slap the young lad's hand until it became bright red like a tomato.
"Okay, okay it's my horse!" Double D shouted in pain.
"No way, it's MY horse!" Ed shouted before grabbing his friend and tossing him into the fray, the insanity kept going on into the night until it was time to head back to the hotel.
"Well that was surely an... interesting social." Rarity said as the group made their way to the hotel room.
"I could've danced all night." Ed stated with a smile so warm and wide that it could heat up a room.
"That's nice Ed." Double D said while rubbing his hand, "I think I'll sleep on the way home tomorrow, I need to ice this hand."
"Despite everything, I'm glad you guys came with me." Rainbow said.
"No problem." Eddy replied, "Besides we needed a change of pace anyways."
The night had been a smash, mainly due to Ed hitting Eddy and others into random things, but it was overall a night to be truly remembered.
Meanwhile
'Give it up Rolf, the pig is gone!'
"Never!" Rolf shouted, "Wilfred will suffer the rage of the son of a shepherd once I get my hands on him."
'And pray tell, how is that going to happen?'
"He has never experienced the almighty three shoe beating yet." Rolf stated.
'You don't even have three shoes... I wonder if Deadpool is in the market for another voice in his head.'
Author's Note
And the Manehattan trilogy is done! I will continue with the regular Ed Edd n Eddy shenanigans in the next chapter. See you until then my friends.
Ed, Edd, n' Eddy: Equestrian Mis-Edventures
Cutie Mark Crusader Ed boys
The eds were walking through Ponyville as they were talking about something to do. "I hear this town has a local paper, how about we try bringing back Bobby Blabby?" Eddy suggested.
"Eddy, have you not learned from the last time we tried anything from the press?" Double D asked, "You cost me a magnificent microscope, and you had to knit Peach Creek the world's biggest doily. Besides as much as I hate the field, I feel like the tabloid business has run it's course."
Eddy gave an aggravated sigh as he knew what was returning to him, "That's it, I've ran out of scam ideas again!"
"Why not buy someone to help us?" Ed suggested.
"Once again, Ed has a good idea." Double D suggested, "We could ask some of the locals to help us in one of our endeavors."
"At this point, what do I have to lose?" Eddy sighed.
Later on in the day the trio were hanging around a stand with a sign saying 'you think it, we buy it'. "Eddy's Stumped, hasn't a clue; give us some help and we'll pay you!" Ed chanted as he rang a bell in hope to draw ponies into the idea, unfortunately no one was taking.
"This is hopeless!" Eddy shouted, "no one is gonna help us!" It all seemed hopeless until he heard the voices of three young fillies.
"Excuse me misters, are y'all still looking for ponies to help you with ideas?" The yellow earth pony asked.
Before Eddy could jump into the situation Double D got down to the fillies eye level, "Do you three have any experience in coming up with ideas and executing them?"
"We did manage to get a hold of a zip line once." The orange Pegasus said, "Though we didn't get the sling shot."
The white unicorn was about to list one of their other ventures before Eddy cut her off, "Stop digging, you three already struck oil!" Eddy exclaimed, "You're hired!"
The three ponies all jumped up in joy, "Yeah, Cuite Mark Crusader Idea Helpers!"
After the two groups got to know each other they were going over some potential ideas, "Have you guys thought on making a life sized paper Mache dragon?" Scootaloo asked.
"We didn't even get past making the legs." Double D replied, "Then again Ed's sister was clingy to me that day."
Sweetie Belle was soon struck with the idea hammer, "Why don't we make an amusement park?"
The entire group smiled with glee as they all thought the idea was gold, "Great idea kid!" Eddy said, "Ed get the cardboard and tape, Applebloom get me some paints." Eddy was a bolt of energy now as ideas were just flooding in now as he had the scam that could turn his luck around.
The Next Day
The following day many fillies and colts congregated around a giant gate hastily made of cardboard, tape, and crayon. "Howdy kids!" Eddy exclaimed as he busted through the gate, he was dressed much like an underwater king, if the king had been dumpster diving, "I'm King Triton, Welcome to Ed's Sea Adventure land!" The ponies were all a tad confused as Eddy asked them all if they were ready for adventure.
Many of the ponies were quickly surprised when they saw a strange creature; Ed dressed up in a burlap sack and moth eaten hat, "Ahoy Landlubbers, I am Barnacle Ed. For one measly bit, jump on my back, and ride a barnacle!" Ed mouthed as he tipped his hat off showing a tape recorder on top of his head, but at that point the kids didn't care. Many of them jumped on Ed's back and rode him like a bucking bronco. "Barnacle!" Ed shouted with pure joy as he flung the kids into a pile of sponges, he quickly joined in as he too wanted the joy of sponges.
"This is going so well!" Double D exclaimed as he crunched the numbers on a abacus, "By the end of the day we're going to be swimming in bits!"
The Cutie Mark Crusaders were also ecstatic over the news, "Well glad we could help y'all with your little problem." Apple bloom responded with a sense of pride and joy.
"This is all great and all, but when do we get our cut of the-" Scootaloo asked before being cut off by Sweetie Belle's hoof, this lead to muttering amongst the fillies.
Realizing the Pegasus was right, Double D quickly made his way towards Eddy, who was about to start the carousel of furniture, "Eddy I think we should start on finding the CMC's payment for the help on the scam."
"Yeah yeah, in a minute sock head." Eddy replied as he got on top of the ride, "Hey Ed, help push this bad boy!"
"The barnacle is busy Eddy!" Ed replied as he rolled around in the sponges.
"If you give the ride a push, then I'll pet the barnacle!" Eddy shouted; with little warning Ed jumped from his slice of paradise and began to push the ride. As the ride spun around, every rotation made the ride become unstable and out of control. The rope holding Eddy's chair snaps and upon another rotation the chair is flung high into the air. "WE'RE GONNA BE RICH!" Eddy's voice echoed through the sky as he was taking to the skies before the sound of the chair crashing was heard in the distance.
"Oh dear, Eddy!" Double D exclaimed, "You girls manage the amusement park and we'll discuss the payment later." With that Double D rushed in the general direction of where the chair was flung off to. After what felt like hours, Double D found the chair lodged in Twilight's home.
"Holy Cow!" Eddy exclaimed as he popped out of the leaves of the tree, "We got some serious mileage on this bad boy, didn't we?"
Twilight soon trotted out of the tree to where Double D was to see what had caused the shaking of the tree, "Eddy, how in Celestia's name did you get your self up there?!" She asked, utterly confused.
"The best theme park ride ever!" Eddy exclaimed; before he could say anything else, Eddy and the chair were quickly grabbed by a purple magical aura bringing them down to the ground.
Twilight sighed in irritation of Eddy's escapade, "Look, I don't really care about what you're doing, just try and keep it from damaging anypony's home. The last thing anyone wants to deal with is airborne furniture wreaking havoc."
"I am terribly sorry Twilight." Double D said before Eddy could say a word, "It wont happen again."
"Why did you stop me from telling Twilight anything?" Eddy asked Double D as they carried the chair all the way back to the theme park.
"I was just worried that you were going to tell her something rude." Double D replied, "You aren't known for being tactful in those sorta things."
"I may not be subtle, but I was gonna say sorry." Eddy responded, "You gotta trust me in these things sometimes."
"After all that has happened, sometimes I have second thoughts." The silence was unbearable, luckily they had made it to the theme park and the CMC were taking a ride on Barnacle Ed.
"Glad to see you guys are alright!" Apple Bloom said as she jumped off the ride.
"Right, and I was gonna give ya the cut of the dough." Eddy said, "Sock head, the numbers please."
Double D handed Eddy a piece of paper that simply read '50% of 24'. "Fifty?!" Eddy Exclaimed, "That's almost half, I thought we were gonna be swimming in cash by now!"
"Yeah well after the fiasco of the carousel, many of the kids were getting bored of the Barnacle Ed ride." Scootaloo said, "Plus I think we should've added more than just two attractions."
Eddy was obviously blinded by greed and the promise of a successful scam that he did not think of more than just two attractions, "Well at least you girls helped me outta my funk." With that Eddy handed the girls their cut of the profit and watched the trio run off. "Ya know what's funny guys?" Eddy asked his friends, "They sorta remind me of us." The trio were all thinking about the idea until Ed was reminded of Eddy's promise.
"Pet me now Eddy!" Ed shouted wrapping Eddy in his arms, Eddy had no real choice but to pet the barnacle.
Author's Note
Holy cow, this is my longest chapter with the most episode references to the Ed's scams.
As for the CMC, i always thought of them sorta like the Ed's before they got their Cutiemarks. Given with all the crazy and wacky ventures they went on to earn their Cutiemarks with little to no avail, much like the Ed's and their failing scams. Be on the look out for the next chapter, until then...
See you Space Outlaw
Ed, Edd, n' Eddy: Equestrian Mis-Edventures
It was a productive day for Applejack, she was busy kicking trees and tending to the farms many chores. Granted for an Apple this was nothing special, but what made this day more surprising was with what had happened in the barn.
"Applejack, I could use some help!" The farm girl's brother; Big Macintosh exclaimed.
"Hold on Big brother, I'm coming!" Applejack shouted as she hastily made her way towards the barn. She soon saw the red stallion using his hind legs to keep a part of the barn from falling over.
"How the hay did this even happen?" Applejak asked. Big Mac simply shrugged as he jerked his head towards what seemed to be some broken support beams. "Great, looks like I'm gonna have to find something to hold that wall."
"Or Someone." Big Mac replied, little did he know that he just gave her sister a good idea.
"So what do you need?" Ed asked as he followed the farm pony.
"I just wanna see if you can hold up a wall for me." Applejack replied, "Twilight told me you practically smashed a tree when Trixie came back to town." The duo eventually made it to the barn and it looked like Big Mac was struggling to keep his legs up any longer. "Well have at it big guy."
"Hooray!" Ed exclaimed as he ran up towards the wall, with the boy's tremendous bulk the wall shifted itself back into place which also gave Big Mac a chance to fall back to the ground.
"She was right, you are strong." Applejack said, completely surprised that Ed was able to push a barn wall in so easily, "Now Ed, I need you to stay here keeping the wall up while me and Big mac go and get supplies to fix that wall, don't move a single muscle."
"Gotcha AJ." Ed replied as he instantly froze like a statue, taking Applejack's words to heart.
Hours seemed to pass by until Eddy and Double D happened to come across the big lug. "Hey mono-brow, whaddya doing here?" Eddy asked.
"Oh hey Eddy, I'm keeping a wall up for Applejack while she gets stuff to fix it."
"Oh come on Ed, we managed to scrape up a few more bits for those super huge jawbreakers and we were gonna hit up Sugarcube Corner before it closes." Eddy stated before he pulled up a bag full of bits.
"Sorry Eddy, but I promised Applejack that I would not move a muscle." Ed replied, "A promise is a promise."
Eddy was a bit shocked that Ed was rejecting jawbreakers, he thought the wall was getting to him, so he tried his best to try and dislodge the oaf from his spot. Eddy tried with all his might, but it was a classic definition of a unstoppable force and an unmovable object, "Jeeze Ed, did you stick your shoes in cement or something?"
"Nope, just following orders to not move a muscle." Ed replied.
"Come on Double D, I could use some help here!" Eddy exclaimed as he continued to push Ed with no avail.
"Eddy please, I for one respect Ed and his commitment to his promise." Double D responded to Eddy, "Besides we could just go to store tomorrow."
"I am not gonna wait another day to get the jawbreakers so big they rival truck tires!" Eddy Shouted as he continued to push Ed. The whole thing kept going until Applejack and Big Mac came back with the tools.
"Oh hey AJ you're back!" Ed exclaimed, "And despite Eddy's attempts, I haven't moved an inch."
"Well that's mighty fine of ya, but could ya keep holding up the wall for a bit while we do the repairs?" Applejack asked, much to Eddy's dismay.
"Oh come on!" Eddy shouted, "We've been waiting for hours!"
Double D sighed at Eddy's impatience, "Eddy we've only been here for an hour, read a magazine or something if you want to kill time."
"I would if there were some enjoyable." Eddy replied as he sat down in the dirt like a stubborn goat.
"Oh come now Eddy, this will only take a moment or two." Applejack said flatly, "Besides it ain't like you guys have any plans for today anyways." The repairs didn't take much time, but to Eddy it felt like an eternity with every single nail pounding. After testing that the wall was sturdy enough, Ed was relinquished of his job.
"Sweet, if we hurry then we can make it to Sugarcube Corner before it closes!" Eddy exclaimed as he grabbed his friends and rushed out of the door. At Sugarcube Corner Pinkie Pie was in the process of closing the shop for the day, but before she could even turn the 'open' sign to 'close' the Eds had rushed into the store, "I knew we'd get here in time!" Eddy said happily, "Three Jumbo-delicious-Jawbreakers-that-literally-break-your-teeth jawbreakers please."
Pinkie Pie looked surprised, "You guys are in luck, I'll be back with them in a few seconds!" The party pony made a mad dash behind the counter and pulled out the giant orbs of deliciousness, "I just need the cash."
"No problemo!" Eddy replied as he reached into his pocket, his eyes grew wide as he suddenly realized what was going on, "I left the cash back at the farm..." he muttered, "How could I just leave cash behind!?"
Double D reached into his hat and pulled out the little bag, "I have the cash, I took it when we were waiting for Applejack."
"How did you take it from me?!" Eddy asked, "I didn't even feel my pants get lighter."
"I took it from you when you passed out from trying to pry Ed from the wall." Double D responded before turning towards Pinkie, "We'll take the jawbreakers." Moments later the Eds were enjoying the candy outside of the store, "See Eddy, all that waiting paid off."
Eddy sighed as he looked at the giant sphere, "I guess, but for crying out loud sockhead, you practically gave me a heart attack."
"Patience is a virtue, but having the goal within your grasp makes the victory sweeter." Ed said as he licked on the candy, before shoving it into his mouth.
Author's Note
Okay so no Robot Rebel Ranch venture yet, It'll come out in a after the next chapter. The next chapter will be another original idea. See you guys until the next chapter my friends.
Ed, Edd, n' Eddy: Equestrian Mis-Edventures
The day seemed quaint as Eddy and Ed were doing what could only be described as two person rodeo, "Where's the fire big guy?" Eddy exclaimed as he tried to keep himself up from his friend's wild galloping.
"Fire? Get it off!" Ed exclaimed as he quickly ran about in an attempt to run away from the imaginary inferno behind him.
"Eddy stop it, you're frightening him!" Double D shouted as he tried his best to catch up to his two friends
"It's not like I haven't done so before!" Eddy exclaimed as he steered the lunk head before crashing into a tree, "I'm hurt now."
Double D eventually caught up to the two, "Dear lord... I think I've lost ten pounds from five chapters alone."
"Come on Double D, what's the point of life without a little chaos here and there." Eddy said as he jumped out of the tree and onto the ground.
"Why I couldn't agree more." A disembodied voice stated. The Eds looked around frantically as the voice was one they had not heard before, soon enough a being popped into existence with a light chortle. The creature itself looked like someone threw a bunch of animal parts into a blender and pushed the puree button.
"Double D... is this a result of running into a tree head first?" Eddy asked as he and the other two rubbed their eyes to make sure they weren't imagining things.
"I was about to ask the same thing." The creature asked as he popped out his eyes and polished them, "I may be a god of chaos, but I have never seen something as strange looking as you three." The Eds were still speechless before the creature looked around, "Oh right, where are my manners. I am Discord, god of chaos, and best friend of Fluttershy."
The trio quickly introduced themselves, "Now I bet you are wondering how we got here in the first place." Double D started before being stopped by Discord's claw.
"Not really." The Draconequus responded as he materialized a book labeled 'friends' and searched it nonchalantly, "I really just want to do something fun, but it seems none of my usual contacts are really available."
"Well we could have some fun with you." Ed suggested before being stopped by his friends.
"Excuse us for a moment." Double D said before getting his friends into a football position.
"I don't know about you guys but this guy gives me the creeps." Eddy said to his two friends.
Double D sighed, "For once we are on the same page. Something just screams never ending consistency migraines."
"Oh come on guys." Ed said, "We don't wanna shun him, besides it isn't like we were doing anything worth."
Eddy was about to question Ed's sudden burst of perspective when Discord popped into the conversation, "So did you three fellows decide on something exciting yet?"
The three jumped in surprise before trying to think of something fast, "Oh right... Well we were thinking of..." Double D was trying to think of something easy.
"Dumpster Diving!" Eddy exclaimed. The two other Ed-boys looked at their pseudo leader, and quickly noticed Discord's grin.
"Well it isn't the first choice I would've picked, but it should be a good time killer." Discord said as he snapped his fingers, causing two vintage diving suits to materialize out of nowhere, "So what do you guys say?"
Hours Later at the Dump
Ed and Discord were now prepared to dive into the dangerous murk that was a dump, "Now when you find something valuable or recyclable just tug on the rope."
"Gotcha Double D." Ed said giving a thumbs up.
"Just give us the signal to go in." Discord said as he grabbed a flashlight and magnet, ready to grab treasures. The two then walked into the garbage as if walking through a thick mist. The duo dug through the trash, seeming to get lost with every step, "Did you find anything yet?" Discord asked as he sifted through a few rusted cans.
"Just a few bottles and-" Ed replied before seeing something he could only describe as 'cool'. He tried to pick up the object, "Discord, I need some help!" The Draconequus grabbed the boy with little to no hope of actually budging him, "Tug the rope!"
As the exploration was going on Eddy and Double D were watching clouds pass by, that was until they saw the rope moving, "They found something!" Eddy exclaimed, "Grab the rope sock head!"
The two proceeded to grab the rope in hope of pulling the two divers from the depths of the dump, "What in heavens name did they find!?" Double D asked as he struggled to hold on to the rope.
"This is gonna give me a hernia!" Eddy shouted as the two continued to pull, soon enough the divers were finally free of the garbage, "Did you guys find any loot?"
"Oh yeah!" Ed replied as he held up a large gold statue piece.
"What is that anyways?" Double D asked as he began to take notes on the strange gold piece.
"So that's where I left it!" Discord Exclaimed as he grabbed the gold piece; he proceeded to shake the item like a dirty rug until it took the form of a small coffee mug, "I thought I'd never see this again!"
"How was that heavy?" Eddy asked.
"Maybe because you always skipped gym." Double D replied; hypocritically of course as he also skipped gym class when he had the chance, especially after the dodgeball incident.
"Oh, my special coffee mug is made of one thing, comedium." Discord replied, "What seems heavy to you three, could be light as a feather or easily dented like so." He proceeded to pull out a inflatable hammer and turned the cup into a wadded up ball of gold foil.
"All this trouble, for a stupid cup!?" Eddy exclaimed in annoyance.
"I'll have you know it's my favorite cup." Discord replied before pulling out an alarm clock, "I wish I could continue, but my shows are coming on." With that Discord popped out of existence, leaving the Ed's more confused than anything.
Discord popped back in his home and sat down into a large cushy recliner and stared at a clock, "Just in time for the opening."
Now, this is a story all about how, My life got flipped-turned upside down...
Author's Note
Well this took a bit longer than i hoped for; anyways Discord has met the Ed's, and he just too them for a ride.
Anyways my original ending was to have Discord do somewhat of a meta thing and proceed to watch Ed Edd n Eddy, but i thought against it and just went with Fresh Prince.
And with that...
See you Space Outlaw
Ed, Edd, n' Eddy: Equestrian Mis-Edventures
Canadian Mechanical Crackshots
The desolate landscape seemed eerily calm as the three heroic space outlaws wandered the area in order to look for supplies, suddenly the trio were ambushed by a pack of ravenous robotic scouts. "Quick get the anti-matter ray gun!" The large outlaw shouted as the shorter ally began to rush towards his friend to save him.
"Wait!" The thinner outlaw shouted as he grabbed a biometric scanner from his exploration pack and scanned the three scouts, "They are on our side!"
The three Outlaws' perspective was shook as the robotic scouts soon turned into three fillies, "Uh are you guys alright?" Applebloom asked, utterly confused by the three boys with their crazy delusions.
"Oh, sorry kids." Eddy Responded, "We were reenacting one of our favorite films: Robot Rebel Ranch."
Ed got up and added to the conversation, "Yeah, its a gripping story of three heroic space Outlaws marooned on a robotic planet, and must find a way to survive."
"Sounds like an awesome movie!" Scootaloo said with joy, "What happens next?!"
"Actually, what Ed described was the basic plot." Double D stated, "We don't know what happens next sine the film is for adults only."
"How are you guys reenacting it then?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"We're just guessing on how the film goes." Eddy replied, "but we don't have any blasters to fend off the robot bounty hunters."
"I think we might have a solution to that." Applebloom stated as she ran off towards Sugarcube Corner. Moments passed as she came back towards the group with a few basters, "This was all that Pinkie Pie could give us."
Eddy's grin grew large as he knew what the utensils looked like to him, "No way, you scored a couple of Canadian Squirt Guns!"
"A fun time it was, as if it was only season two." Ed stated as Eddy blasted the oaf with a gush of water.
"Where did the water come from?" Double D asked.
"Don't ask questions you aren't prepared for Sockhead." Eddy stated, "All I know is that this is gonna be even better now that we can actually hit the robots now!"
Hours later the Eds were running in attempt to escape not from robots, but from enforcers of the Galactic Federation, "You'll never take us alive Federation scum!"
"Fat chance Outlaw filth, you're coming with us dead or alive!" Applebloom exclaimed as they chased the boys, unaware they were running into the Everfree Forest. "Now stop your running and we can all get off of this rock."
"Maybe she's right Eddy." Double D said, "We do need to get off of here before night falls."
"Maybe..." Eddy said, "But who said we needed them to drive!" With that Eddy pulled out his Squirt Gun and began to attack the Federation Enforcers. The girls were caught under heavy fire, but it was three against one as they all fired upon Eddy, soon enough it was a never ending barrage of gunfire. "Ha! Missed me, you lose!" With all his gloating he did not notice the girls quickly tackled him.
"We have you now Outlaws!" Sweetie Belle said, "Now come quietly or-" Before she could finish her sentence, a loud growl sounded through out the forest causing the other girls to come out of the bushes to huddle towards the Eds.
"What was that?" Scootaloo asked.
"Robot Bounty Hunters." Ed flatly said before grabbing a large stick and a squirt gun, "Take my friend to the ship, I'll distract them!"
"No Ed it's too dangerous!" Double D retorted.
"He survived the last time Sockhead, he'll live this time!" Eddy stated as he grabbed the fillies and made a mad dash out of the woods leaving his two friends behind in the woods.
"Eddy what are you doing? We gotta go back to help your friends!" Applebloom said as she and the others got of Eddy's grip.
"Forget that, we gotta find someone to help us, besides what can we possibly do?"
"Well we can try and help." Scootaloo retorted, "We had plenty of time to do so."
Before the argument had gotten more heated Ed and Double D came out of the forest running as fast as their feet could carry them, "The robots are coming! Take cover!" The two boys shouted. Eddy and the girls heard the growling again and soon followed the others.
The six kids were hiding behind a large rock as the sound grew larger. "The planet seemed eerily calm, as the approach of the Robot Bounty Hunter was awaited fearlessly by the brave outlaws and Federation troopers." Ed narrated as he and the others were indeed ready to attack the monster. "It approaches." Ed began counting down from three before he shouted 'Attack' and his friends began their assault.
as they threw pinecones and shot their Squirt guns at the mysterious entity, it seemed to be working up until they heard squealing, the group popped out from the rock to see none other than Wilfred munching on the pinecones.
"Wilfred?" Eddy asked as he walked towards the swine.
"Who, the pig?" Sweetie Belle asked as the Ed's looked at the pig with great interest.
"Wait fellows, if Wilfred is here... then that means that Rolf is somewhere looking for him." Double D stated as he looked at Wilfred.
"Like Stretch is gonna try anything stupid like look for him." Eddy replied, "Heck I bet this side of bacon ditched him the first chance he did."
"Wilfred's smarter than you think Double D." Ed said as he picked up the pig for a hug, "He probably was running around for days looking for something good to eat." The group then decided that Wilfred would live on the Apple Family farm with the other pigs until Twilight found a way to help the Eds back home The Space Outlaws and Federation Troopers returned home; not with a robot bounty hunter's head, but with a friend.
---
'Rolf give it up, Wilfred hates you.'
"Silence Intet, that cursed swine shall feel the wrath of the son of a Shepard when I finally find him and the Ed boys!" Rolf flatly said as he was now swimming up a river, a clear representation of what his journey was becoming.
'You are just a broken record of idiocy aren't you.'
"If Rolf is getting water, then why are you not leaving?" Rolf asked as he had somehow managed to get up the river.
'Call it morbid curiosity, mainly because I want to see you finally admit you are wrong in hunting both a pig and these Ed boys you were talking about.'
"The Ed boys know what they did, and they must pay!" Rolf shouted as he was searching trees for any form of food. It seemed odd but unlike other voices in other's head, this voice's advice was somewhat helpful. Well the crazed boy was still on a rampage to hurt thee individuals.
'My question is, what exactly did they do?'
"Well it all started when the half man-half woman Ed boy pressed a red button..."
Ed, Edd, n' Eddy: Equestrian Mis-Edventures
A Glass of Milk Before Ed
Pinkie Pie and Gummy were getting ready for bed as she and her pet raced into their bed, "You beat me again you slippery salamander!" Pinkie exclaimed as Gummy blinked, "You wanna read a story? Okay then." With that the party pony pulled out a box of books. She rummaged through the box until she pulled out a weirdly titled book , "Spike hates himself, what is this?" Pinkie asked as she looked at the green and purple book with a sad looking dragon on the cover, despite her best judgement she began to read the book and it was as shocking as the title, "Am I reading a suicide note, should we tell Twilight about this?"
Gummy just stared blankly at the wall in response to his owners question.
"Yeah, you're probably right, Twilight might thinks we wrote this and go ballistic on us." Pinkie replied before she continued reading, she heard a loud bang coming from her wall. She got up and knocked on the wall only to be greeted with another knock in response, this lead Pinkie to her final conclusion, "We got wall possums Gummy!"
It wasn't actually possums, but rather three boys gasping for air, "Fresh air at last!" Double D exclaimed as he took in a deep breath.
"Come on guys move!" Eddy shouted as he kept squirming in order to get as much room as possible.
"I think I'm sitting on a pipe." Double D stated as the cramped space was starting to get to him.
"My turn!" Ed shouted as he wanted to be part of the conversation.
"Hey, how'd you guys get stuck in the wall?" Pinkie asked, she soon looked at Gummy, "What's that Gummy?" She asked as if the alligator was talking to her, "Gummy says you guys need to book it before Mr. and Mrs. Cake call the cops."
"Hey Gummy, ever take a tour of a sausage factory?" Eddy retorted towards the pet.
"Eddy please, Pinkie deserves a proper explanation." Double D said, stopping his friend from getting more angry, "Now if someone could readjust themselves, I would be happy to tell her the story."
"Oh boy a new bedtime story!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she tossed the other book across the room.
Double D cleared his throat and began to tell the tale, "Now it all started when-"
"Oh come on Ed's starting to drool on me!" Eddy exclaimed as it was true that Ed was drooling on his head.
"There's an art to telling a story Eddy, one must utilize a special mixing to be fully enjoyable." Double D replied.
"Boring." Ed stated, even though he probably didn't even understand a word his friend said.
"Yeah, boring!" Pinkie added in support of Ed.
"See even Pinkie has you numbered." Eddy said with a smug look on his face, "Let me tell you how this started."
-----
Eddy seemed to walking down a street in a pure white tuxedo and top hat as some of the ponies were praising the very ground he walked on, "I was walking down the streets of town, same old thing when I ran into my two favorite friends."
"Hello Mr.Eddy, what wonderful idea would you like to do today?" Double D asked as he carried a large bundle of blueprints.
"I am a lump." Ed stated as he slammed his head into the ground.
Eddy pondered, "Let's try the Spittin' image of wax idea."
"Of course, but how are we going to estimate the amount of money needed to buy all those crayons?" Double D asked as he pulled out a large calculator.
"Well obviously we would need to take correlation between the gross revenues and the sum of the square root divided a piece of pie and the currency exchange of bits into account." Eddy stated.
"Oh, what was I thinking? You're a genius, Mr. Eddy!" Double D exclaimed as he began to bow down to Eddy as if he was a god.
-----
"Really Eddy, the square root of a piece of pie and the current exchange rate of bits?!" Double D sarcastically asked, breaking Eddy out of his delusions.
"What?" Eddy asked.
"Pure fiction Eddy! Your story is nothing more than utter poppycock!" Double D stated, appalled at how even after all the three have been though, Eddy's ego was still unchecked.
"Tsk tsk, I have never heard such language." Ed said joining the conversation yet again.
"Don't stop now. What happens next?!" Pinkie said, all too excited to keep still in her bed.
"Just a moment Pinkie; now continuing from where Eddy left off, we decided to run a correctly designed Spinning image of Wax emporium.
-----
Double D was busy dusting his work table and the three example wax figures of himself and his friends as a few ponies stepped by the table, "Oh happy day, a customer." Double D pleasantly said before being interrupted by his friends.
"Get their money! Its mine, all mine!" Eddy shouted as he and Ed acted like wild savages at the sight of the easy money, luckily it was stopped by the two falling over.
"Oh dear..." Double D muttered, hoping that the situation would be trouble free, "Hello there folks, would you like to participate in our full body wax statues?"
The two mares looked at each other before going for the idea, "Yes, but do you do smaller figures?"
"Why yes, all that we require is a photograph to-" Unfortunately Double was interrupted by Eddy who just barged into the conversation.
"Get the cash! Come on sock head it's easy pickings!" Eddy exclaimed as he was too eager to get the money for the scam.
"It's rude to interrupt Eddy!" Double D shouted stopping Eddy and causing him to sulk down; "Now if you would please supply us with a photograph we can-" Double D was interrupted yet again as Ed began to drool over the photograph the two mare were providing, "My apologies folks; Ed cant help himself sometimes, lovable oaf." Double D stated as he brought Ed back and wiped his mouth.
"Let me have the cash, so I can put it as a down payment?" Eddy stated as he was trying to keep his composure in check.
"I see some real progress in you Eddy." Double said hopefully, until he saw Eddy trying to grab the bag of bits from the mares.
"Ah help he's like a leech!" One of the ponies shouted as the other pried Eddy off of her friend. The two quickly ran off as Eddy and Ed gave chase.
"What are you doing?!" Double D shouted causing the two to stop in their track and return to him, ready to receive their reprimanding, "I cant believe this...even here you've managed to screw up a simple endeavor!"
Eddy thought that his friend was just being hysterical and decided to calm him down, "Sockhead calm dow-"
"NO!" Double D shouted cutting off Eddy much like how he did to him, "I have put up with all of this insanity up till today, It is your fault that we're even stuck here!"
Eddy could see that all the anger was now being used from the very reason the trio were even in Equestria: the scam of the Century that went wrong, "Well if you had built the thing right!" Eddy retorted as he was pushing all responsibility off of him.
"If you had followed the clear instructions I had made none of this would've happen!" Double D replied, "Take note as I'm-"
-----
"Stupid egghead, and a blubbering dweeb that cant take a joke!" Double D or rather Eddy said in his best attempt of Double D's voice, "I wish Eddy could teach me in how to be cool."
"Uh guys, this story isn't really exciting or fun, and I think Gummy is getting scared." Pinkie said as she began to cuddle her pet "I thought we were gonna have an adventurous tale of a red hooded girl with a scythe, a bear and bird fighting a witch, or even robots turning into cars."
"What do we look like, story book authors?" Eddy said as he tried yet again to dislodge himself from the wall.
"And so it went!" Ed exclaimed as it was now his turn to tell the story, "Little did Ed, Edd, n' Eddy know that forces beyond their comprehension, the magical creatures of Equestria in attempt to foil the Ed's efforts in being friends by sending the spirits of anger and hatred upon them: the Wendigo. Slowly one by one, the lone boys friend's dark side began to grow from the beasts influence.
-----
Double D and Eddy were continuing their argument, the only thing different was that Double D was now speaking in the language of 'Blah', "Blah, blah blah blah! Yap Yap; Blah Blah Dribble Ramble Ramble!"
Soon enough a chilling wind was sweeping the town, "What's going on?" Eddy questioned.
Double D was muttering until he was interrupted by Applejack, "Tarnation boys, y'all need to round-up yer critters and high tail it outta here!" Applejack said as she shook the boy before running away.
"Yappy Yap!" Twilight exclaimed in the same language as Double D as she and Spike flew off in AJ's direction.
"Guys look!" Ed shouted to get his friends attention, lo and behold three spectral horses wee hovering above the three boys.
"I ain't going down without a fight!" Eddy shouted at the spirits before nearly dodging a flung apple cart. The three boys ran for their lives from the flung objects.
"Blah blah blah?" Double D asked
"You two need to apologize!" Ed exclaimed as he hid in a barrel.
"Me apologize?" Eddy asked, "I know this is your story Ed, but there is just some things I wont do!" The winds began to blow more dangerously as Eddy refused to stop the fighting, more and more objects were flung, "Okay fine I'm sorry!"
"What was that?" Double D asked breaking out of his usual 'Blah'.
"I'm sorry alright, it was all my fault!" Eddy shouted, "I'm nothing more than a foul-up wannabe loser who just pushes his problems on everyone else!
Double D looked at his friend who was now sobbing because he was indeed right about everything he said, "Eddy?"
"What?" Eddy asked.
"I forgive you." Double D responded as he pulled in his friend for a hug. The winds began to slow down as the Wendigo looked at the two boys before neighing monstrously.
Ed popped out of the barrel before looking for a small hole coming out of Sugar Cube Corner, "We have found shelter!" Ed exclaimed as he shoved his friends in the hole before running into the hole himself.
-----
"And stuck in the wall we became, The End." Ed said with a wide grin.
"Wow Ed, what an intriguing world you live in." Double D stated as he was still processing what Ed had just finished.
"I think we all learned a lesson here." Eddy added, "Okay Pinks, there's the story so how about pulling a way outta here out of that mane of yours." Unfortunately his plea fell upon deaf ears as he noticed that Pinkie Pie was fast asleep.
"She is sleeping Eddy." Ed stated.
"Way to go Hemmingway, it was your part that put her to sleep." Eddy commented before he heard the monstrous neighing again. The Eds quickly apologized to each other and realized that they were stuck there for the night, so they did the next best thing: sleep.
The next day the three boys finally busted out of the wall and spent the day bonding while patching up the wall.
Author's Note
Another chapter in the bag,
Ed, Edd, n' Eddy: Equestrian Mis-Edventures
All good things must come to an Ed
The Ed's and Twilight were all sitting around in the Ponyville park watching the seconds go by, "Relish the fine summer's day, Eddy. Absorb the solitude of the park. The aroma of fresh-cut grass." Double D stated as he was trying to lift the spirits of his friends.
"It stinks. I'm bored." Eddy grumpily replied.
"I forgot to wear underwear, guys." Ed stated to break the tension, but in the process only made more with the... disturbing intentions.
"Look guys, I'm sorry but I haven't been able to find any means of sending you guys home." Twilight stated, "Every teleporting spell I know from the most advanced spells of Starswirl to spells thought to be lost to time."
"I feel funny." Ed said as he blankly stared at the dirt.
"Funny? You're a laugh and a half, Ed!" Eddy replied with a wide smirk, Ed then reached down and pulled out a clump of dirt and held it over his head.
"Boing! It's a light bulb. Boing!" Ed stated with glee.
"Okay. I'm stumped."
"I believe Ed has an idea." Double D stated.
"Boing! For a spell." Ed replied.
"Stick to counting your teeth, Ed." Eddy replied, "I think Twi is the one that does magic."
"But Eddy, boing!" Ed retorted as he pulled out some comic books, "I know how to pull it off."
"I guess it could be a possibility." Twilight said as she looked at the covers of the comic, judging by the wizards and monsters they held some possibly merit.
"Alright, let's do your plan, Ed." Eddy stated, with no other options he had nothing to lose.
"I am the man! My plan, my plan, my plan, my plan!" Ed joyously shouted as he ran around like a total doofus, "Okay. First we need-um–" Ed looked at the comics, "A bunch of rocks!"
"Rocks?" Twilight asked
"This is gonna be a headache." Eddy said as he looked at Ed as he ran off.
Later That Day
Ed was painting, splashing red paint everywhere within the town square,"I marked the spot with an X, guys. Let's move 'em out!"
Edd and Twilight looked towards the oaf, "Ed, these rocks are quite large in mass and will require significant force in order to...transport...them." Double D stated.
Ed just smiled and patted his friend on the back, "Right over on the X, Double D!" The lunk head ran off towards Sugarcube Corner, "Ready or not, here I come!"
"Go away!" Eddy shouted before Ed tore the door off of its hinges, revealing Eddy dressed up as an undertaker, "Why am I dressed this way?"
"It's all a part of the big plan." Ed replied.
"Yeah, right."
Ed then pulled out a large crystal spire from his jacket, "Now, paint this like an Aztec temple." He then dropped the crystal on Eddy and ran off, "My plan, my plan, my plan."
Edd and Twilight were struggling with the rocks, as they carried it to the spot Ed indicated, but they only find a Q.
"Q? Ed, where's the X?" Double D asked.
"Uhh… A, B, C, G, L M N O Z. Don't you know your alphabet, Double D?" Ed asked as he looked at a list of all he needed.
"But I don't understand!" Twilight stated, "You said X marks the spot! And all we see is a–"
"Lunchbreak!" Ed shouted. Soon enough the four were gathered at a table. Ed pulled out a large lunch box filled with peanut butter sandwiches, he proceeded to hand them to everyone before eating.
"Well, Ed, this is very nice. Thank you." Double D said as he grabbed his sandwich before Ed grabbed the lunchbox and threw it to parts unknown.
"Back to work!" Ed shouted as he handed Edd another rock, "Right on the X." Ed galloped over to Eddy, "C'mon, Eddy! We gotta find rotten spaghetti noodles!"
"Ed, where the heck are we–" Eddy began before Ed grabbed him by his hair and ran off, leaving Twilight and Double D in the dust.
"Ed, wait! We can't find an X!" Twilight shouted; as it was true there was only a surplus of Q's surrounding the town square
Somewhere Within the Everfree Forest
"What's wrong Intent?" Rolf asked the voice in his head, "Ran out of things to say?"
'Why bother. All that is gonna happen is you repeating the same thing over and over again, I mean it isn't like luck is gonna fall out of the sky.'
As if by sheer coincidence a lunchbox fell out of the sky and hit Rolf on the head
'Well that's new.'
Rolf grabbed the box and took in a large whiff, "Aha! The Ed boys are close!"
'Really?'
"I am sure of it this time!" Rolf replied, "I can smell their idiocy from here!"
'I'm pretty sure that's just peanut butter.'
"Follow me Intet, the Ed boys are going to feel my wrath soon enough!" Rolf quickly ran in the direction of the scent of food and scamming shenanigans
At Sweet Apple Acres
"So you want that Smarty Pants doll?" Big Mac asked the two boys.
"Well it's for Lumpy's plan, and it is technically Twilights." Eddy replied.
"Makes sense." The work Horse stated, "Lemme go grab it."
"We need Double D for this part!" Ed shouted as he grabbed Eddy by his shoulders and running off. Within the span of a few seconds he was pushing Double D who was dressed up as an Eskimo.
"There wasn't an X to be found, Ed." Double D sadly stated before Ed slapped a novelty sized 8-Ball helmet on the young boys head.
"Okay. Now, Double D, it is very important that you give Eddy these waffles." Ed said as he pulled out a towering stack of waffles.
"Very well, Ed. Here, Eddy." Double D said as he handed Eddy the plate.
"I hate waffles." Eddy said as he walked off.
"Now what?"
"X marks the spot, Double D! Off you go!"
"There is no X, Ed!"
"Wait for my signal, Eddy." Ed whispered as he pulled out a tree from its very roots and waddled his way towards the farm's pig pen.
Within the pig pen Wilfred looked up and observed the moving tree. "Ed I found the toy." Big Mac said as he pulled out the ragged plush toy.
Ed thanked his friend and ran off with the toy, "Now Eddy now!" Ed shouted as he ran off towards town square.
"Now what?" Eddy asked as he looked at the now demolished pig pen fence, Wilfred soon made his way towards the short stack with the high stack. "Waffles?" Eddy offered the porcine pet before being attacked by the pig.
Later
Ed dropped the stuffed toy onto the painted letter, "Nice job, guys. It looks just like a Q."
"Excuse me? Ed, I think somewhere along the line you lost your train of thought. Your plan is irrational, muddled, and inconsequential." Twilight stated as she tried to process Ed's inane idea. Ed simply stared as he pulled out a dog treat and ate it
"Is that a doggie treat?" Twilight asked, more confused then ever.
"What's the rock for, guys?"
The rock slipped from Double D's grip and fell onto his foot. "MY FOOT!" Double D exclaimed in pain.
"MY HEAD!" Eddy exclaimed as he stumbled between Ed, Twilight, and Double D.
"You're late, Eddy!" Ed said before Eddy grabbed the oaf by the neck.
"Why'd you wreck the pen? Just get Wilfred on a leash so we can get out of here!"
"Eddy Calm down, we need to get the girls for this." Twilight said as she tied Wilfred to the rock Double D dropped.
Eventually Twilight managed to get the other girls to where the 'spell circle' was located. They all said their goodbyes and had a good laugh before Twilight prepared the spell.
"ED BOYS!" Rolf's voice shouted as he stood against the nine figures with one mission: destroy the Eds. "Thought you could run off to strange equine land and think we'd forget you like amateur goat herder? Well this son of a shepherd will have his retribution!"
"Well, let's not jump to anything rash Rolf. It's a simple misunderstanding." Double D said in hope to break up the conflict.
"Fool!" Ed shouted as he was on top of the crystal spire he had dropped on Eddy earlier in the day, "My magical power has beckoned you, for you will pay with your brains!"
"Brains? What are we gonna do with brains?" Eddy asked.
Rolf snorted as he ran towards the group, "You have broken a celery stalk on the back on a sea urchin!"
"Send us home!" The trio shouted at Twilight who was in the middle of charging her power; Rolf then lunged at the three, but before he could get his hands on their necks, the spell had finished charging and made the four boys and pig to disappear.
"Did it work?" Applejack asked.
"I think so." Twilight replied, as she looked around the area, the only thing she noticed was a couple of crows landing down near the circle.
---
Mondo A-Go Go, a coastal theme park whose only acknowledgeable attractions of it were the Man Eater Roller Coaster and Wild Prawn Ride. Within the park a large surge of purple energy emitted and spewed out the Eds, Rolf, and Wilfred. Eddy looked around the park and pulled out his wallet, within the wallet was a post card from the theme park. This only meant one thing: His older brother was close by. "BIG BRO! WHERE ARE YOU, BUDDY?"
"Eddy what about Rolf?" Double D asked as Rolf just laid on the ground unconsciously, "Besides, there's so many places your brother could be."
"Forget him!" Eddy shouted as he kept running around the park, "BIG BRO! IT'S ME! EDDY!" Eddy looked back at his friends, "Keep looking! He's gotta be around here somewhere!" The searching went on for a good while until the trio found a large trailer in the shape of a whale.
Eddy was excited as he knew this meant his Brother lived in that trailer, due to his many outrageous stories of being a whaler. Despite the validity of the tale, the boys had reached the end of their journey. That seemed to be the end of it, until the other kids from the Cul-De-Sac and three girls the Eds hoped to never see again; the Kanker Sisters appeared behind them. "Stay back, all of you stay back!" Eddy exclaimed, "Just a few knocks and you're all gonna get it!"
"And who do ya think is gonna help ya?" Kevin asked with a smug look on his face.
"My big bro!" Eddy replied, as soon as those words chills ran down their spines.
Eddy proceeded to knock on the door until it opened, "Park don't open till noon."
"I told you he's a whiz at telling time!" Eddy quietly exclaimed towards his friends.
"Pipsqueak?" The voice sounded again.
"Bro!"
"Mom and Dad know you're here?"
"As if!"
"Anyone know you're here?"
"Only these chumps who chased us here!"
"Just a sec." The door to the trailer opened up more, "Ain't those ankle-biters from the cul-de-sac?"
"Yeah! And they wanna beat me up! All for nothin!" Eddy replied.
Eddy's Brother soon stepped out of the trailer and to all of the kid's surprise he looked much like Eddy, but dressed more like a sleazy car dealer on his off day, "All for nothin, huh?" Still the troublemakin Eddy, I see." He stated before giving his little brother a noogie.
"Stop it, bro!" Eddy chuckled.
"Yeah, sure. I'll help you out." Eddy's Brother replied, much to the Ed's joy; it was short lived joy as the man grabbed his little brother by the legs, "Just for old times' sake, let's play a little game of...Uncle."
"Uncle?" Eddy asked as all the excitement he had was replaced with fear.
"Wanna crash at my place, don'tcha?" Eddy's brother asked.
"That's why we came all the way here fo-" Eddy started before being cut off from the pain of his leg being twisted by his idol, "Uncle!"
"Say what?" Eddy's brother asked with a sadistic tone.
"Uncle! Uncle! Uncle uncle!" Eddy exclaimed in agony. This went of for quite a while as Eddy's brother performed different ways of torturing his younger brother, "Bro! Give it up!"
"Give it up?" Eddy's brother asked, "I thought you wanted to hang with your hero."
"I do, bro, I do!" Eddy replied desperately.
Soon enough the other Eds and the kids from the Cul-De-Sac came to Eddy's defense as even they had the common sense to give the con artist a break, much to Eddy's brother's surprise. Ed notice with all the chaos that the door Eddy was being bashed against was getting loose, his brain then processed an idea; he reached over and pulled the pins from the hinges. The door breaks loose from it and flew towards Eddy's brother and smacked him square in the face, knocking him over.
"Uuuuhhhh....unnnccclllleeee." Eddy's brother slurred before collapsing and tossing Eddy to the ground/
"Eddy, speak to me!" Double D asked as he rushed towards his friend, "Are you all right?"
Eddy just looked back at his friend, he had a look of his world being destroyed before him, "I made it all up, Double D. Everything about my brother was a lie. I made things up so people would like me. Think I was cool. But boy was I wrong. The scam, my brother...this...when am I gonna learn, Double D?"
"I think you just have, Eddy." Double D replied, knowing he still accepted Eddy as his friend despite everything he had put him and Ed through.
"Grab him!" Kevin shouted as he and the other kids rushed towards the Eds.
"No! Take me!" Ed exclaimed as he stood in front of his friends.
"Okay! I'm sorry! Honest! I didn't mean to hurt you guys!" Eddy screamed as he cowered in fear; but to Eddy's surprise, the kids grabbed the boys and tossed them up into the air in victory.
With all the commotion, the kids barely noticed the honking of a bus. As it parked the doors swing open,"The time of reckoning is now, rapscallions!" A voice sounded from the bus; soon enough a boy in a water melon helmet and a plank of wood tied to a mop jumped out, "It's Melon Time!"
"WHERE'D HE COME FROM?" Eddy exclaimed, "Jonny! No! Wait!" The boys plea was in vain as the board of wood grabbed him and the two others and sent them into a beaten pile.
"No thanks are necessary, citizens." The boy known as Johnny triumphantly said as he believed he was a true hero. This was short lived however as the kids attacked Johnny as they took their frustrations intended for the Ed's out on him.
With the dust clearing Kevin walked up to the Eds and helped them up, "Sorry about that. Say, let's go to my place! Jawbreakers are on me!" The kids cheered, as that meant an amazing party was on the way.
"We did it, Double D! Everyone loves us! We're finally with the in-crowd, baby!" Eddy exclaimed with pure joy.
"And it only took 130 episodes, 4 specials, a movie, and a crossover fanfic, Eddy." Double D added.
"Let's sing a song!" Ed exclaimed with joy, with that the kids started to sing the Friendship Song.
"When you stub your toe And it hurts you know"
"Friends are there to help you When you step on your face And your teeth are misplaced Friends are there to help you When you're flying low And you're giving a show Friends are there to help you When you take off your shoe And your feet stink pee-yew Friends are there to help you."
The End
Author's Note
Well it seems the main story has come to an end, the Ed's story may have come to an end, but that does not mean the story hasnt fully ended. There are a couple of chapters still to be made and some scam ideas that couldnt really fit in or werent long enough to be made into a full chapter.
Until then, see you next time.
Ed, Edd, n' Eddy: Equestrian Mis-Edventures
Evil Tim's and the Gourd’s Reckoning
Crows were flying all around town square as Twlight and her friends did their best to fend off the ever growing menace, "I don't remember Crows migrating around this area until Zap Apple season!" Applejack shouted as she fended off a flock of the winged fiends.
"Well they must be coming for a reason." Twilight replied, "But for what reason?"
With all the chaos they did not notice the large figure shrouded in darkness. "Who dares to summon I, Evil Tim!" The figure looked around and saw his birds flying around aimlessly and realized what was going on. "Oh jeez, is that boy in the green jacket here?"
Twilight looked up, "You mean Ed?"
"Yes." Evil Tim Replied, "He tried this summoning thing once and this exact thing happened."
"So what happened then?" Rainbow asked as she shook off a flock of crows.
"I simply told them they had two more chances to actually use my powers for something." Evil Tim said as he pulled all the crows towards him, "Now where did they run off to?"
"They're back home." Pinkie Pie said as she attempted to feed Tim's crows.
Tim sighed as he pulled out a sort of list, "Well... could you be so kindly as to tell them they have only one summon left?"
"Well..." Twilight began, "We don't exactly know where they are; but since you do, could you help with that?"
Evil Tim sighed as he put away the list, "Very well, just hold still." The being kneeled to Twilight and touched her horn, "There you now have an instant way to teleport to Peach Creek."
"Thank you sir."
"Yeah whatever, just tell those punk kids to stop summoning me without any purpose!" With that Evil Tim took off with his flock of crows.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Peach Creek
The Eds were having a laugh as the they walked across the alleyways of their Cul-de-sac when a portal opened up. “What in heavens name is that?” Double D questioned, his answer was soon answered as Twilight came out.
“Whew, it’s just Twilight.” Eddy stayed with a sigh of relief; after all they had experienced anything could happen at this point.
“Guys!” Twilight exclaimed as she wrapped her wings around the trio.
“It’s glad to see you again too.” Double stated, “Its been awhile, but what brings up the sudden visit?”
Twilight pulled out a small note, “Apparently some one named Evil Tim showed up and asked about you guys.”
“What did he say this time?” Ed asked with enthusiasm.
“He said to stop summoning him without any purpose, and you have one chance left.” Twilight replied.
“I knew that whole idea seemed too familiar!” Eddy exclaimed before dragging Ed to his eye level, “You really need to consider something else to read than that stupid comic Lumpy.”
“But it worked Eddy.” Ed replied with a big smile.
Eddy simply ignored the big oaf and looked at Twilight, “Say, you wanna hang out for a while?” He asked, “I mean we got nothing else to do today, right guys.” The other Ed’s looked around.
“I guess I could postpone reorganizing my fossil collection for a day.” Double D said as he flipped through his day planner.
“I haven’t a clue what we’re doing guys.” Ed added as he pulled out a calendar page; not that it really helped the boy as it was for February of 1987.
“Great!” Eddy exclaimed, “Now we can catch up.”
“Is Eddy alright?” Twilight whispered to Double D.
“He had a little time to reflect on some things when we got back home.” Double replied, “It’s actually an interesting story.”
Throughout the afternoon the trio told Twilight their ventures; from confronting Eddy’s older brother, becoming accepted by the rest of the neighborhood kids, up to the point all of the bad luck they had endured transferred exclusively to one of the other kids: Johnny 2x4.
“So, he became the Cul-de-sac punching bag?” Twilight asked, “That seems a bit... harsh.”
“My guess is that the universe had to readjust since we got popular.” Eddy stated, “Besides, I’m still annoyed with him with that party thing. I’m just glad he passed out so we could get out.”
“Plus I doubt we could stay there for a sapling to grow into a full grown tree.” Double D added, “We would have to move it outside for any proper growth to take action, and just taking care of it while dancing in a circle would’ve be-“ Double D rambled before being stopped by Eddy.
“I think she gets the idea Sockhead.” Eddy said before looking around, “Yep, everything seems to be finally turning around for us.”
“I wouldn’t say that Eds!” A voice sounded. The group began to look around frantically until a familiar piece of wood came flying towards them.
“Plank’s gone mad!” The Eds exclaimed as they tried to run around before being blocked by a barrier of trees.
“This is like the cliffhanger to the two part finale of Attack of the Vegetable Invaders of Chlorophyx !” Ed exclaimed as he became utterly terrified of the surrounding trees, “Soon enough the invaders will attack us and use us to power their ships for their attack on earth!”
“Ed please.” Twilight sighed as he pulled the big guy back into reality, “Obviously this is that Johnny kid just trying to terrify you guys.”
“Who is this Johnny you speak of?” The figure asked before jumping down into the tree barrier, “It is I, the Villainous Gourd and his cohort Timber the Dark Shard!” The figure was obviously Johnny just dressed up as a cartoonish super villain with a decorative autumn squash for a mask instead of a watermelon.
“Really Baldy?” Eddy asked, obviously annoyed with the boy’s antics, “Just give it up already!”
“Never fiendish Eds!” Johnny exclaimed, “Despite what the others say, there is no forgiveness for what you three did!”
The Eds just let their ‘friend’ ramble on with his monologue as they looked at Twilight. “Yeah... he didn’t take us becoming popular well.” Double D said.
“If by well you mean going full on lunatic, then yeah I think the did!” Eddy exclaimed.
“Have you guys tried talking to him about it?” Twilight asked.
“Yeah, but he just keeps rambling on to himself.” Eddy replied.
“Now prepare for your destruction Eds!” Johnny exclaimed as he pulled out a crown of broccoli.
“NOT BROCCOLI!” Ed exclaimed in fear as he ran past his friends crashing into both Johnny and the trees.
“Quick, lets get outta here!” Eddy exclaimed as he and the others ran out of the lumber barrier, and hopefully try to calm down Ed from his panicked state.
Johnny got back up and picked up Plank, “I will get my revenge, mark my words!” He began to laugh so crazily the Joker himself would tell him to calm down before being stopped by his wooden companion. “What?” Johnny asked, “There’s no time? It’s the end of the story?” Johnny just looked around in utter confusion from his friend, “What Story?!”
THE END
Author's Note
Wow... this took me a good time to finish up. Quite honestly I was just indecisive on how I wanted the story to truly end, but hey better late then never. And so this story comes to an end, thank you all for reading and sticking around for this crazy story of mine.
Have a fantastic day or evening (whenever you are reading this).
Ed, Edd, n' Eddy: Equestrian Mis-Edventures
Ed-zilla: The Manehattan Project
After many hours the group had finally made it to the bustling city of Manehattan; though the girls had been there beforehand, the Eds couldn't help but be remembered of one of their previous endeavors. "Wow, we even got the shoe shining stations right!" Eddy exclaimed as he noticed a colt shining the hooves of a elderly stallion.
"What the hay are you going on about?" Rainbow asked, completely confused as she and the others saw the trio run around gawking at all the mundane things within the city. To them, the billboards seemed to be amazing.
"Sorry, it's just this city reminds us all of this faux city called 'Ed-Tropolis'." Double D explained, "It was this foolish idea to bring the big city to our quite cul-de-sac."
"It wasn't a total loss." Eddy stated, "We practically ran the place, and so many scams were pulled off all within the same day."
The duo began to recollect about the day and laugh until they noticed that Ed had a strange look on him. His eyes began to twitch as drool rolled down his mouth.
"Are you alright big guy?" Pinkie asked as she tried to get Ed's attention, but with little to no avail.
"Is he alright?" Rarity asked Ed's companions.
Ed began to laugh crazily, "I am a monster!" Eddy and Double D could only think of one thing at a time like this; Ed-zilla had returned with a vengeance.
Rainbow and the other girls were confused at what Ed was talking about, but it was apparent something crazy was going on with the lumbering oaf.
"Quick, we need to detain him before he gets too far!" Double D said as his terror was overtaking any and all rational thought he had.
"Oh come on. What's the worse he can do?" Rainbow asked, totally skeptical over the overreactions. That was until Eddy was served 'one hurt, hold the onions' with the aid of a taxi carriage. "Okay, I'm convinced."
"Right." Double D said, "Pinkie Pie, please assist Rarity with both the luggage and Eddy. Rainbow and I shall stop Ed's little... episode."
"Are you sure you two can handle this?" Rarity asked as she and Pinkie began to dig through the debris.
"Don't worry, Ed trusts me. I just hope we can keep the damages to a minimum." With that the two ran off towards the path of destruction.
Pinkie and Rarity were worried what could happen, but were soon delighted that they found Eddy. "Hey if you two find any teeth lying around... they're mine." Eddy told the two girls before passing out.
The destruction that Ed was leaving behind was full of devastation at every corner. Carriages flung off of the roads, streets full of holes taking the form of Ed's head, and cabbage carts reduced to junk and coleslaw, "He's an animal!" Rainbow exclaimed seeing the mayhem.
"He can be worrisome at times, but this is just appalling!" Double D replied as he began to gather some of the debris in order to craft something to help them.
"What are you even gonna do with all that junk anyway?" Rainbow asked.
"You'll see." Double D replied as the two ran up to Ed, who was in the middle of ripping out a tree out of the very ground. "Edward, stop this this instant!" Double D shouted getting Ed's attention. The voice wasn't really getting to the thick headed boy, but the attire that Double D was wearing got his attention. "Do you honestly think this is appropriate at all? Look at all this chaos you're leaving in your wake!"
"Whoa, that chicken is trying to reason with that crazy fish ape." A stallion said to a couple of mares hiding within the bushes.
"And here I thought that they were all cowards." One of the mares replied as they continued to watch the talk down.
"It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt." Double D continued. Ed simply roared in response, it seemed that Ed wasn't going to listen; until Rainbow surprised Ed with a bucket of ice cold water.
"Hi Double D, what's with the chicken suit?" Ed asked, completely forgetting everything that had happened in his Kaiju rampage.
"What is with you Ed?!" Rainbow asked with more annoyance than anger. Even though she was angered with Ed, she had been around the big lug to know he couldn't help himself.
"I am a monster in a boy's body." Ed said before sat down in the dirt, "I am sorry guys."
"At least you know we forgive you Ed." Double D said taking off the head of the chicken costume, "But that doesn't mean you're not off the hook mister."
"He's right." A large stallion in a blue uniform said as he stepped in on the three. "I'm officer Iron Clad, and I have a little agreement for you three."
"Oh jeeze..." Rainbow said.
"You three are to clean up whatever mess that guy has caused." The officer stated.
"Is that all?" Rainbow asked.
"It's either that or prison." The officer flatly replied.
"Luckily I have tape!" Double D retorted as he pulled out a large roll of duct tape.
Later
"Thanks for helping me clean up guys." Ed said with a grin on his face as he put some of the debris into a dumpster.
"Well it would've taken the entire day if we didn't help." Double D replied, putting the finishing touches on the newly repaired cabbage cart.
"Besides, we want you to come with us with to the Wonderbolts Social." Rainbow added as she tried her best to fill in the holes Ed had made.
"I just hope Eddy is fine." Double D said before he felt a hand around his shoulder.
"Don't worry Sock head, I've been through worse." Eddy said with a gap filled grin, "besides I kinda wanted to see Ed for a quick bit."
"Yes Eddy?" Ed asked, happy to see his friend was not crushed.
"I got something for ya, some thing from the hotel." Eddy said, holding Ed's attention and suspense. He suddenly pulled out a large spear of broccoli and waved it in front of Ed.
"Not broccoli!" Ed shouted before making a mad dash for anywhere but Eddy and the wretched vegetable.
"This is for pounding me with a taxi you lummox!" Eddy shouted as he chased Ed all around the newly refurbished street before crashing into the cart once again.
"My cabbages!" The cart owner shouted before looking at Double D and Rainbow.
"I can fix that... again." Double D said in a defeatist attitude as Eddy and Ed were once again they heralds of destruction and migraines.
Author's Note
Only one part remains of the Manehattan story, and the Wonderbolt social is coming soon. Who knows what shenanigans the Eds will get into.
Stay tuned to find out in the next chapter: Freshly Baked Ed's
