Author's Note

References ahoy! Sayings ahoy! Ahoy! Ahoy! Ahoy! Argh, you are a pirate! Okay, seriously, though, enjoy this little thing, if you will.

Life's a Party, and then you're dead...

Rarity woke the next day and took a deep breath before getting out of bed and stretching thoroughly. She wasn’t quite sure what awaited her with this favor, but she was sure that she would be prepared. Sure, this was her typical routine to prepare for seeing Pinkie, but after her “personal time” with Applejack yesterday, she wasn’t about to chance anything.

Rarity went through her usual morning routine, finally having the chance to now that time wasn’t any big issue, and readied herself to get Pinkie Pie’s favor out of the way, mentally preparing herself for anything she could think of and doing her best to be ready for anything she couldn’t.

The walk to Sugarcube Corner wasn’t a long one, but it was long enough for Rarity to have lost some of her nerve in questioning. It wasn’t because of anything she expected from the pink mare, but that she wasn’t sure what to expect.

Upon entering the bakery, Rarity was treated to the pleasant smell of fresh baked goods, though something was slightly off about it today. Rarity couldn’t place it and, upon seeing Pinkie Pie, quickly shrugged it off.

“Pinkie, darling, I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

Pinkie Pie perked up quickly and cast a big smile in Rarity’s direction. “Hiya, Rarity! What’d you need to talk about?”

“It’s about that business up in Manehattan. I know you all said you forgave me, but I still feel just dreadful about it. As such, I feel I owe each of you a favor, so I’m here to ask what it is I could do for you or help you with.”

Pinkie quirked her head to the side for a moment before giggling and smiling once more. “Well, I guess you could help me with something, but you gotta promise not to tell anypony, okay? It’s kinda weird and hard to explain, but it’s also pretty necessary.”

Rarity grimaced slightly and paused for a moment before taking a deep breath. “Okay, then. Just lead the way and tell me what to do.” “If you could do that with Applejack, then you can at least give this a chance.” Rarity nodded to herself, something Pinkie likely didn’t notice, as she’d already started her way to the cellar.

A short while after getting onto the stairs, Rarity noticed a smell that made her grimace and shudder. “Dear Celestia, Pinkie, what is that smell?”

“Cheese!”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“It’s the cheese, silly. Since I like making cheeses that take some aging, I have to keep them down here. The main pull for a bakery is the good smells, right? Well, then the smell of aging cheese would drive Mr. and Mrs. Cake out of business fast.”

Rarity nodded as she continued to follow Pinkie, all the while noting the same strange smell from upstairs growing slightly stronger, a smell that was obviously not the cheese.

Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, Rarity looked around to notice what must have been easily a half-ton of cheese around her. It was Pinkie Pie taking a deep breath that caught her attention, however.

Rarity turned just in time to see the pink pony straightening her mane and tail, and with nowhere near the effort it took Rarity to tame her hair from anything nearly as wild. Once that much was done, Pinkie took a messy apron and slip it on, one that Rarity soon saw to have other unmistakable red stains on it.

Rarity froze as the party pony stepped calmly towards her. “Okay, so, here’s the thing: I kinda have this weird reputation with these guys in here. You see, they think I’m some kinda crazy psycho and that this weird story about me being a killer is true, so they only act nice when I look like this. Here’s where it might get a bit weird, though… Maybe I should just show you.”

Pinkie walked to the only door at this level and stopped. She paused for a moment before turning to Rarity. “I think they mentioned something about you too. Do you think you could go over to that desk and get out the pictures? One of them should be of you. For the sake of not causing anything, it might be best to try and match it. Some of them are pretty… weird.”

Rarity simply gave a very slow nod before turning and walking to said desk. She noticed only one drawer and opened it to find a folder. Upon inspecting its contents, she noticed a number of strange pictures of her and her friends, even a few fairly odd ones of her sister, before finding one that seemed to be of her.

“Are… are those scratches over my left eye? Three of them? They look like claw marks and… not that bad on me, really, but how am I supposed to make convincing scratches?”

Rarity stared at the picture for a short time as she thought before an idea struck her. “Oh no, no, no, no, no, no! I am not doing that, no.” “Rarity, you’ve already told her you would help, besides, sure it will sting, but most of your spa visits sting, too, don’t they?” “That is not the point, you, I mean me, I mean, oh you know what I’m saying. I am not doing that!” “Do you really want to see Pinkie sad again?”

That thought brought Rarity to pause. She looked back to see the door open and no Pinkie Pie. Rarity turned back to the picture and sighed. That voice, no matter how new it was to her, was right. She definitely did not wish to see Pinkie upset any more. With a newfound, though somewhat shaky, resolve, Rarity looked around for her instrument and just happened to find it.

Rarity gulped, her heart beginning to race as she took the tool in her magical grip and levitated it before her. She took a deep breath as she moved it over her eye, taking care to make a number of mental notes about exactly how the cuts looked in the picture, and moved the blade of the knife just over where she intended to start. She fought back the urge to move as she bared the knife down until it came just short of piercing her skin.

Rarity dabbed away the blood from her eye, grateful to have managed not to have half-blinded herself in the earlier process. She double-checked the picture and was pleased to note that she had at least made the cuts exactly how they appeared in the picture. With her mind at ease about having finished her deed and feeling confident that the bleeding had come and gone, Rarity made her way to the door.

As Rarity stepped through, she noticed quite a number of strange and diverse ponies and creatures, as well as Pinkie Pie dragging a limb body to a pile before noticing Rarity and giving her a strange smile. Pinkie made her way over at an unusually calm pace.

“Ah, Rarity. It took you long enough. See you kept the scratches. Good, they look nice on you.” Rarity looked around to notice every eye in the room focused rather intensely on the two. As Pinkie drew closer, she leaned in and whispered, “Sorry, but this might hurt. I can’t explain right now, just act like you like it, please? We need them to think we’re in character.”

“What?”

“Please, just trust me and go with it?” Without taking much longer to wait, Pinkie stepped through the door before pushing onto her front hooves and bucking Rarity forward by her haunches.

Rarity fell forward with a yelp. Luckily for her, her mind was still clear enough to remember her “character” and she had time to at least badly fake having enjoyed it. She got to her hooves and looked back in time to catch Pinkie pushing a cart with a number of bags on it. With the walkway so small, Rarity had little option but to walk down it in front of the cart.

Upon reaching the end, Pinkie stopped the cart and walked to pull out a number of IV stands. “Okay, bitch. Just put the bags on these stands and help me out a little. I have to go dump these rotting bodies before the smell starts wafting into the bakery. Have at least a few of them dead before I get back, will ya?” Pinkie turned without another word to a number of bodies piled up on another cart. “Oh, and remember, it only takes about a fourth of a bag to off ‘em, so don’t waste that stuff.”

As Pinkie set off to her task, Rarity gulped and turned to hers. She looked around and knew she’d already come much too far to turn back, no matter how badly she wanted to. With nothing else she could do, she sighed and looked to the bags.

Rarity’s horn lit up and she began moving a number of bags in place before fixing tubes and needles in their own places with them. A look around gave her what she needed to know where to start, now all she had to do was essentially euthanize an entire room of apparently highly aware and willing creatures. She knew to expect anything from Pinkie, but this was just insane, and her options were all but none. With another deep breath to steel her nerves, she got to work.

After a few hours of draining bag after bag into the creatures, Rarity looked around the room to notices she was now the last living thing there, and she couldn’t help but wonder what had taken Pinkie so long.

She didn’t have to wait too long for an answer, as Pinkie soon entered the room once more. After a brief look to check if the creatures were all dead, She quickly shook herself, her mane and tail returning to their usual state.

“I’m really sorry about that. I know you offered a favor and all, but I really needed help today. Also, you can take the makeup off now, you know?”

“It’s not makeup, dear…”

Pinkie’s eyes widened. “Ohmygosh! I am so sorry! I didn’t know you’d actually cut yourself! Rarity, are you okay?” Pinkie rushed to her friend faster than Rarity’s eyes could track.

“Pinkie, it’s fine, really. It doesn’t hurt anymore. What was with all of that, though? You kicked me and called me a bitch. Is that part of this psychotic character they see you as?”

“Yeah, apparently they call me by my first name. They think of me as some whacko meanie pony, and I can’t be nice at all with them or they get all weird and angry. I don’t even know why they came here, except that they wanted me to kill them.”

“Why would anypony want to be killed?”

“I have no idea, they must be OCs that were really badly made and ran their course. They said they were made too proud to kill themselves or something. It took me forever to find something that would work on all of them.”

Rarity sighed. “Well, I suppose that as long as it’s over I can go home and rest. This has definitely not been a good day for me.”

Pinkie bit her lip as she thought and soon leaned in, giving Rarity a light kiss on the cheek. “Sorry, that’s all I can do right now. Since this was such a biggie, I’ll try and make it up to you later. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” Pinkie recited the usual promise along with the motions before rushing off to start loading up the new bodies.

Rarity, on the other hand, stood stock still for a moment before half-consciously making her way out of the cellar and back to her boutique.

“Surely it can’t get worse than this… I’ve absolutely got to do something about these, though. I need to make sure they don’t get infected. Oh, I hope Rainbow Dash is at least somewhat easy on me tomorrow.”