“Mom?”
“Huh?”
Rainbow Dash looked up from her book at Temporal Spectrum, as Tank sat on her head.
“I have a question about you and dad.”
“What is it?”
“How did you and dad meet?”
Rainbow Dash blinked before slamming the book shut and sitting up.
“You wanna know? Well it started like this….”
---
“I can’t believe that you followed me here,” Rarity rolled her eyes as she and Rainbow Dash entered the restaurant. Both mares were clad in dresses that matched the fancier outfits of the other occupants.
“You said you were going to meet someone that I’d like to know,” Dash shot back, “So I came along.”
“That was not an invitation.” Rarity huffed.
“Whatever, they still took my reservation.” The pegasi shrugged.
“How do you even have the money to do that?”
“I got my ways,” Dash chuckled as the fashionista rolled her eyes. The two ponies separated as their waiters lead them to their tables.
“I’m still waiting for my date,” Rarity explained as she took her seat, “He should be here soon.”
“I understand, Madame.” The waiter nodded.
Across the room, Rainbow Dash continued to flip through her menu, her confusion mounting as she read the names of the items on the list.
“…So uh…What’s Pela?”
“Potatoes, Onions and Rebloncha cheese,” her waiter informed her; “You fry the potatoes and onions and lay the cheese on top. As it melts, it spreads across the dish.”
“…So it’s like really fancy Cheese Fries?”
The waiter’s mouth twitched at the comparison, “…Of a sort.”
“Cool, I’ll take it…” Dash’s eyes flickered back to the menu, “What’s a Brushitta?”
“Its pronounced Bru-sketta, and it is toasted bread with Olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper. You have a choice of tomato and basil or mozzarella.” The waiter continued on.
“Can it get both on one?”
“…You could get one of each, madam,” the waiter sighed.
Dash shrugged, “That works. Also, can I get cider?”
The smile quickly faded from the waiter’s face before being replaced with a scowl.
“We do not serve… cider.”
“…What do you have?”
“We have wine.”
“No whiskey?”
“No.”
“…I’ll just stick to water.” Dash sighed.
“As you wish,”
“Stupid fancy restaurant and their booze choices,” she muttered under her breath as the waiter left.
The pegasus craned her neck to look around for Rarity and her mystery date.
“Still not here…”
---
Rarity took a sip of water as the waiter and another pony approached the table.
“Madam, your date,” the waiter chuckled, “If he has time, I would like an autograph.”
The stallion laughed while Rarity rolled her eyes.
“Not the first time I’ve heard that one.” Soarin chuckled as he took his seat across from her.
“I’ll give you some time to figure out your order, sir.”
With that, the waiter turned around and left the couple alone.
“You’re late.” Rarity scowled
“Least I made it here without bein’ mobbed by the pap,” Soarin shrugged.
“True,” Rarity sighed.
“Anyway, I’ve never been to this restaurant before, how’s their pie?” Soarin flipped open his menu and began to scan it.
“Is pie all you think about?”
“No, its split between work, pie and you,” Soarin paused, “Although I think it’s slightly skewed towards you.” Rarity frowned as he continued on, “Old habits die hard.”
“You have five words to make that less of a backhoof complement.”
“Pie’s not as important as work, and you’re more important that work,” Soarin chuckled.
“Over the limit, but I accept it.” Rarity warmly replied, “Try the Pate aux pommes de terre; they add onions, leeks, garlic and feta to it.”
“I like the sound of that,” Soarin grinned, “What are you getting?”
“The Banh mi, with tofu,” Rarity responded, “They’re quite good.”
“Isn’t that from…Saolaos?”
“Indeed. The French were heavily influential there, so it makes sense that they took cues from their cuisine.”
“Huh. We’ve never performed there,” Soarin paused, “Heck; we’ve never traveled anywhere since Spitfire took over as Captain.”
“Really?”
Before Soarin could respond, the waiter returned.
“Ready to order?”
“I’ll have the…Rarity, how do you pronounce it again?” Soarin asked.
“He’ll have the pate aux pommes de terre, and I will have the Tofu Banh mi.”
“And to drink?”
“Water’s fine.” Soarin shrugged.
“I’ll stick to water.”
The waiter left, leaving Soarin staring at an annoyed Rarity.
“What?” the stallion shrugged.
“You can’t say ‘pate aux pommes de terre’?”
“I never took French, I took Ibexian.” Soarin blushed.
“…Fair enough.”
----
As Dash bit into her Pela, she slowly stopped chewing and stared at it. She spat out her mouthful and made a disgusted face.
“What is this crap?”
The pegasus took a swing of water and swished it around her mouth in a feeble attempt to rid herself of the taste. Several of the ponies at the other tables shot her a dirty look. As she swallowed, she waved down a waiter.
“Where’s the bathroom?”
“Follow me.”
Rainbow Dash got to her hooves and followed the waiter, glancing around every few steps as she looked for Rarity and her mystery date. Finally catching Rarity in the corner of her eye, she paused, waiting for another waiter to move out of her view of her friend’s date.
“Enjoy,” the waiter grinned and remained next to Soarin. Before taking a bite, the celebrity sighed.
“You’re not going to go away until I give you an autograph, are you?” Before the waiter could respond, Soarin pulled a pen out, “You got something better to write on than this napkin?”
“Here.” The waiter pulled out his order pad and placed it on the table, “Can you sign it for my son? He loves your shows.”
“Sure, what’s his name?” Soarin bit the end of the pen and prepared to write.
“Write it to Featherweight, some thing like ‘Dream big’ or something,” the waiter gushed and Rarity rolled her eyes. Soarin continued to writing and eventually finished.
“There, ‘Hope to see you with us one day’, that sound good?”
“Yessir, He’ll love it.” the waiter pocketed the pad and began to leave.
“Finally,” Rainbow Dash muttered under her breath, as the waiter left her view, revealing Rarity’s date. As realization sunk in, Dash’s eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped.
“Heh,” Soarin chuckled, “the kid’s name sounds fa-”
Before he could finish the sentence, a blast of wind knocked their food off the table and sent other dishes flying through the air. A plate of pie landed on Rarity’s face, while a plate of ravioli like pasta landed on Soarin.
“OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH! Soarin! Why are you here? Do you remember me?” Rainbow Dash squeed.
“Um… Hi,” the stallion confusedly greeted her, “This is kind of a bad t-”
“RAINBOW DASH!” Rarity screamed, snapping the pegasus's attention back to reality. Dash shrunk back as she turned to face the livid unicorn.
“Um... Hey Rarity, how’s it goin’?” she flashed a nervous, awkward smile.
“Just what do you think you’re doing?” Rarity hissed through gritted teeth.
“Well…” Before the pegasus could respond, somepony else tapped her on the shoulder. Turning, Dash came face to face with a waiter. Behind him, other ponies stood with angry expressions on their faces, along with food.
“…Ohlookatthetime,IjustrememberedIhadtopickupTankatfive, bye!” Dash dropped a small coin purse and fled.
---
Berry Punch rolled her eyes at the mortified pegasus's story.
“I can’t believe you, Dash.”
“Shut up and fill my cup up.” Dash muttered.
“Way to mess up in front of your idol and his marefriend,” Berry shook her head, “I need to get another bottle.”
Berry left the bar counter, leaving Dash behind. A chuckle brought Dash’s thoughts back to the bar’s only other occupant: a brown earth stallion with an hourglass cutie mark.
“That’s quite a story,” the stallion chuckled.
“Shut up, Time Turner.” Dash groaned again, “I’m an idiot.”
“Can’t argue with that, but…” the stallion placed his mug down, “Don’t dwell on what you did, think about how you’re going to make it up to them.”
Dash pulled herself up before responding, “Well what the hell should I do?”
“I don’t know, you figure it out,” he shrugged, “Soarin’ should be easy, just get him fresh pie from the Cakes, or Applejack.”
Time Turner paused amused at what he just said.
“If their family name is ‘cakes’ and they make pies, does that mean there’s some sort of fundamental paradox there?”
“There’s still Rarity and she’s still mad about when we accidentally left her and Pinkie in Dodge.”
“That one’s up to you,” Turner shrugged again.
Berry returned to the bar and poured out another drink for Dash. The mare downed it and slammed the shot glass back onto the top.
“Another?” Berry held up the bottle.
“Actually, I’ll buy her a drink,” Time Turner offered, “something a bit fancier, how about a couple of Tremblement de Terres?”
Berry responded with a frown, “You sure?”
“Well, unless Dash wants something else…”
“Bring it on.” Dash perked up.
The bartender sighed and pulled two new bottles out, “For the record, I do have the things necessary to make you both Appleloosa Oysters if you need them in the morning.”
---
Rarity and Soarin continued down the street.
“I’m terribly sorry about how everything turned out,” Rarity apologized.
“It’s alright, this isn’t the worst date I’ve been on,” Soarin chuckled, “that prize goes to the time I tried dating Fleur de Lis…..let’s just say there’s a reason why I’m not welcome in Baltimare anymore…”
“…If you say so…” Rarity’s response drifted off.
“C’mon, just because dinner was ruined, it doesn’t mean the night’s over. Look, how about a couple of drinks?”
“If you insist…”
Soarin pushed open the door to a bar and the two entered…
“WHAT’S NEW, PUSSYCAT? WOAH-WOAAAAH!
Pussycat, pussycat, I got flowers
An’ lots of hours to spend wiiiiith you…”
The two were assaulted by a drunken, off-key duet. As the continued into the bar, a completely hammered Rainbow Dash and Time Turner clung to each other as they continued to sing. Berry winced as the two continued.
“Might want to take a booth, it’ll be quieter.” Berry motioned towards the back room, “Be there after I make sure they don’t fall off the chair.”
Rarity and Soarin turned and headed into the back.
“This is humiliating,” Rarity fumed.
“I didn’t even know she liked Thunderball,” Soarin chuckled, “Learn something new every day.”
---
“…and that was the first date your father and I went on,” Dash concluded.
Temporal Spectrum continued to stare at her mother, jaw hanging. The filly quickly shook her head before speaking.
“Mom, you went to a bar, drank too much and started singing ‘What’s New Pussycat’, how is that a date?”
“You’ll understand when you’re older, Temp.” Dash smiled.
