Misunderstandings

Chapter 3

Rainbow Dash impatiently tapped her foot while Rarity rummaged through a pile of jeans. Much to Dash’s dismay, they had already spent over a half hour shopping for Spike’s clothes. Admittedly, the athlete had very little patience when it came to anything concerning fashion. When she had to buy clothing, it rarely took her any more than twenty minutes to find suitable attire. If the clothing fit and was comfortable, in the shopping basket it went. Besides, most of the more stylish stuff was either too expensive or extremely uncomfortable to move around in. Sadly, Rarity did not share her opinion.

“C’mon Rares! What’s taking so long? It’s not like he’s gonna care what you buy him as long as it’s decent.”

Rarity huffed. “Spike is my guest and ‘good enough’ simply won’t do! I want him to feel stylish when he wears his new attire.”

“Well, can’t you find stylish stuff a little faster? I don’t wanna be here all day.”

“Keep your panties on darling, I’m very nearly finished. There’s only one more article we need to buy.”

“Good. But just so you know, I don’t wear panties with my spats. They tend to chafe when I run.”

Rarity put her hand over Rainbow’s mouth. “Shhhh! You shouldn’t say those kinds of things in public!”

“Meh. I don’t really care. There are plenty of guys that go commando. What’s the big…”

“Well I care because it’s embarrassing me. Rainbow please, just this once, show a little tact and don’t talk about such things. I don’t want to attract any unwanted attention…especially from any perverts.”

Rainbows snorted. “Eh, alright I won’t talk about it anymore. But don’t worry about the pervs; I’ll just kick ‘em in the balls if they try anything.”

Rarity sighed and headed towards the men’s undergarments section. Now came the tricky part. In general, it was socially acceptable for a woman to buy clothing for a man. Such a thing happened quite frequently. However, Rarity drew the line at buying underwear. It wasn’t something she thought a proper lady should do, unless the said lady was in an intimate relationship with the aforementioned man.

Intimate thoughts began to creep into her mind, leading her to imagine Spike wearing several different pairs of undergarments that left little to the imagination. She blushed heavily and tried to dismiss such thoughts from her mind. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking about Spike’s admittedly well-defined physique. Get ahold of yourself Rarity. There’s nothing amorous about buying underwear for someone who doesn’t have any at the moment. But…this wouldn’t be nearly so distracting if I hadn’t seen what was actually underneath said underwear.

Rainbow looked over at her friend and started to grow slightly concerned. Rarity was just standing there with a pack of boxers in one hand and a pack of briefs in the other, staring off into space. After a few moments, the fashionista’s face took on a pink hue as her eyes darted between the packaged undergarments. Rainbow rolled her eyes and snatched the pack of briefs from Rarity’s hand.

“Just buy him these. I’m pretty sure he won’t care that much anyway.”

“Oh, well I…are you sure he wouldn’t prefer boxers?”

“Nah, stick with briefs.”

“Is there any particular reason why?”

“Two reasons: First, boxers don’t keep anything in place. And before you ask, I know because I used to wear ‘em. Second, briefs keep things in place. What that means is you’ll get a show every time he walks around in ‘em. With briefs, everybody wins!”

Rarity blushed, looking down at the floor. “Yes…I suppose briefs would accentuate certain aspects of his anatomy. I’ll buy them. But don’t you DARE tell him I said that!”

Rainbow moved her hand across her lips, assuring her silence. Despite her unspoken promise, she grinned like a kid in a candy store. It was one of those smiles that just screamed: “I see what you did there.” Her smile was accompanied by a fit of giggles when Rarity placed the pack of pearly-white underpants onto the counter. As embarrassed as Rarity was, the clerk’s countenance remained stolidly neutral. One could even go so far as to say he looked downright bored.

As the girls made their way back to Rarity’s home, Dash abruptly stopped and grabbed Rarity by the shoulder. The fashionista squeaked in surprise and very nearly dropped the bag of clothing onto the dirty sidewalk. She glared back at Dash, silently demanding an explanation. Seeing how upset Rarity was, Rainbow withdrew her hand immediately.

“Excuse me darling but…WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE SO IMPORTANT THAT IT REQUIRES SCARING ME HALF TO DEATH?!!”

“Sorry Rares, I didn’t mean to spook you. But uhhm…do mind if we take a slight detour?”

“Why, pray tell, do we need to make a detour?”

Rainbow’s stomach gurgled. “I uhh…might not have actually eaten breakfast. So, do you mind if we stop by Sugarcube Corner and grab a bite to eat?”

“Hmm. Come to think of it, I have been in the mood for one of Mr. Cake’s delicious croissants. Alright we can go.”

Rarity daintily nibbled on her croissant, savoring its rich, buttery flavor. It still amazed her, even to this day, how Mr. Cake got them to taste so sinfully delicious. Even taking one bite of the crescent shaped pastry was like having a buttery little cherub dance across your tongue. Unfortunately, her monument of unadulterated bliss was rudely interrupted by the loud chewing noises of one Rainbow Merriam Dash.

The young athlete was about as refined with her manners as the average silverback gorilla. What made it even worse was her choice of pastries. They were two jelly doughnuts bursting at the seams with delicious grape flavored goop that seemed to drip everywhere except into Rainbow’s mouth.

Oh and of course, one mustn’t forget the powdered sugar! It was smeared all over Dash’s fingers and mouth, making her look like a crazed cocaine addict after a late-night binge. The whole scene almost made Rarity want to puke. But…she had her croissant. And croissants make any situation slightly more tolerable.

Rainbow belched. “Oh man, those were some damn fine doughnuts. You rock Mr. Cake!”

“I appreciate the compliment Rainbow, but I didn’t make those. Pinkie did.”

“Huh. I guess I owe Pinkie a…”

RD suddenly found herself being smothered by something incredibly soft and…cotton candy scented? Such a combination was only possible with one girl. She was a certain hyperactive baker, who just so happened to work at Sugarcube Corner. Aaaaannd…now it was starting to get difficult to breath.

“Hey Pinkie, it’s great to see you but umm…would you mind giving me some air? You’re kind of squishing my face with your boobs.”

Pinkie giggled. “Oh sorry Dashie, I got a bit carried away. But I’m sooooo happy that you like my new Ginormous Gooey Grape Doughnuts or GGGD for short! Although…calling them the ‘Triple G’ sounds a lot cooler. What do YOU think I should call them?”

“Uhhh…triple g sounds cool, I guess.”

Pinkie squished Dash’s face into her breasts once more. “I KNEW IT! That’s what I’m gonna call ‘em from now on.”

Rarity couldn’t help but giggle at Pinkie’s antics. She was always such a carefree spirit, if a tad bit overbearing. But such a thing didn’t bother Rarity in the least, for it was worth seeing Rainbow look uncomfortable after all of the nonsense she had to put up with earlier this morning. Upon further inspection, one thing did bother her. Pinkie’s shirt was absolutely filthy from all the powdered sugar and doughnut residue she had accumulated from squishing Dash’s face into her chest. Needless to say, t-shirts did not make for very good napkins.

Rarity cleared her throat. “Pinkie, I don’t mean to be rude but it seems that you’ve gotten your wonderful pink top all messy. If you don’t treat it soon, the stains will set.”

“Oh my gosh! You’re absolutely right. I was just so excited to see Dashie that I totally forgot that she eats like a gorilla!”

Much to everyone’s dismay, Pinkie chucked off her shirt and started running up the stairs to get another one. She came back down wearing a blue t-shirt with a picture of some palm trees and sand stating: Life’s a Beach, in big red letters. She stood in front of everyone and grinned, as if nothing was wrong. Mr. Cake simply shook his head and went back into the kitchen, while Rarity gave her a stern look.

“Pinkie, it is extremely unlady-like to just casually take off one’s shirt in public.”

The baker scratched her head. “Huh? But you said it was dirty and that if I didn’t treat it right away, the stain was gonna set.”

“Perhaps, but that doesn’t mean you should strip in front of everyone.”

“What’s the big deal? I was wearing a bra, so it’s not like anybody saw my boobs.”

Rarity rubbed her temples. “Ah…of course. My mistake, please carry on.”

“Okie dokie lokie!”

Mr. Cake came back with a tray of piping hot blueberry muffins and began to place them inside the glass display counter. Once he was done, he wiped his forehead with a dishtowel and took a seat between Rarity and Dash.

“So what have you girls been up to this morning?”

Before Rarity could respond, Pinkie placed her finger on Rarity’s lips. “WAIT! I WANNA GUESS! Ok, so like early in the morning some weird naked guy showed up at your house. And Rarity being Rarity freaked and kicked him in the face. BUT…it turns out that the guy isn’t so weird ‘cause he’s actually Spike. Oh and due to your super generous nature, you decided to let him stay at your house and buy him some clothes!”

“Hmm, yes that about sums it up. Good job Pinkie.”

The baker’s hair immediately began to sag. “B-but aren’t you supposed to ask how I know all of that?”

“Of course not, darling. I gave up trying to figure you out ages ago.”

With a dejected look, Pinkie shuffled back into the kitchen, claiming that she had some bagels to boil. Once she was out of view, Rainbow instantly hit the floor rolling with laughter. Mr. Cake at least had the decency to poke his head out of the kitchen to investigate, but was quickly dissuaded from any notions of wrongdoing…if Rarity’s elegant grin had anything to say about it.

Rainbow wiped her eyes. “Oh man, Rares that was freakin’ hilarious!”

“Well, you and I both know that it’s pointless to try and understand that girl’s inexplicable ability to predict things. Humorous or not, my statement got her back to work. She can’t just sit around and chat with us all morning.”

“Yeah…umm speaking of doing things all morning, I probably should get going too. I’ve got some training to do and I really need a shower.”

Rarity nodded. “Ah yes, a shower is most definitely in order. Good luck with your training, Dash.”

Rarity’s Home, Ponyville

Spike was absolutely bored at this point. The girls had been gone for well over an hour now. He couldn’t understand why a quick jog and shopping trip would possibly take this long. Back in Equestria he usually worked most of the day, thus occupying a majority of his free time. He suspected that Rarity had at least some books and magazines lying around but he didn’t even know if he could actually read them.

Sure, he understood what everyone was saying but that didn’t mean that both of the universes shared the same writing system. With little else to do for the past hour and a half, he just sat in the kitchen sipping numerous cups of coffee and thinking.

Much to his relief, Rarity finally decided to return carrying a large plastic bag. She dropped it in front of Spike and immediately loosened her hair from its previously tight bun. He was so used to seeing her mane (hair now he supposed) so elegantly styled, that it came as a complete shock witnessing her hair in its natural state.

While it was true that he’d seen her bed-head this morning, too much had been going on for him to pay attention to it. Spike swallowed hard, feeling that oh so familiar heat creep into his cheeks. Did he really find her attractive already? They were both humans now, so theoretically there shouldn’t be any problem with that. He couldn’t deny that he had been infatuated with her during his previous visit but this was entirely different. Calm down Spike, it’s all of those hormones coursing through your new mammalian body. But…even so, some part of me still likes her. Urgghh this so damn frustrating! I want to tell her but it’s just too soon! She barely knows me.

Rarity cleared her throat. “Spike, is there something wrong? You look a bit flushed. Oh dear! I hope you aren’t getting a cold.”

“Uhhh no. I think I’m alright.”

“Ok. But if you do start feeling under the weather, don’t hesitate to ask for assistance.”

“Sure thing, Rarity. Thanks for the clothing, I appreciate it.”

Rarity waved her hand. “You’re quite welcome and don’t you dare even think about paying me back. Consider them a gift. Feel free to try them on while I take a shower.”

Spike made his way back to the guest room and dumped all of the clothes onto his bed. From what he could tell, most of it was your standard human attire. There were several pairs of jeans ranging from dark blue to black, along with two pairs of khaki dress pants. Since it seemed to be summer time right now, Rarity had bought quite a few t-shirts but there were a few longer-sleeved dress shirts as well.

Despite not wearing clothing on a regular basis as a dragon, most of the articles were at least vaguely familiar to him. Except a strange package of bundled white things. He tore open the cellophane and realized what they were.

Only once had he ever seen these in person. He had been cleaning out one of Twilight’s drawers at the time. While dumping the drawer’s contents, he found a wadded up pair of frilly-laced purple panties. Spike had been old enough at the time to feel positively disgusted upon discovering his sister’s intimate wear.

Clearly, the undergarments that Rarity had bought him were far plainer than Twilight’s but it still brought an uncomfortable blush to his face. What exactly were Rarity’s intentions? Was this some kind of subtle sign that she liked him? Spike threw the robe onto the bed and slipped on a pair of briefs, glancing at himself in the mirror. Being naked was one thing but something about wearing these panty things made him feel extremely self-conscious.

Even so, he couldn’t help but notice how well defined his new muscles were. Granted, he’d never actually seen a human naked before so now was as good a time as any to learn. If only to avoid awkward questions later. After wearing only a robe for some time, he now understood why humans chose to wear so much clothing. They had next to no fur (except on the top of their heads), which made him feel chilly even just walking around.

As a dragon, he could’ve stepped outside in the snow and would have barely felt the cold. At least the underwear was comfortable and afforded some degree of warmth to his nether region. That was another awkward thing about humans. Their genitals were on the outside! How stupid was that? Dragons had convenient, retractable sheaths along with internal testicles. This prevented your precious family jewels from being damaged, as well as avoiding any awkward situations. Now, he had a pair of fleshy balls dangling between his legs.

Oh and he knew just how vulnerable they were. Earlier, he ended up painfully squashing them against the hard, unforgiving surface of a wooden chair. The pain was so intense that he might have shed a few manly tears, accompanied by a strong urge to vomit. From that moment onward, he vowed to take greater care with how he seated himself.

But what really made him feel self-conscious was that his penis was on full display for the entire world to see. Now he understood why Rarity had been so embarrassed when she first saw him enter through the mirror. She probably thought he was flaunting his drag—manhood around in some kind of mating display. The very thought brought a fresh wave of blood to his cheeks.

Pushing some of his shame aside, he stared at his reflection with newly found determination. If Rarity had gone out of her way to buy him these ridiculously comfortable pairs of underwear, then by Celestia he was going to wear them proudly in front of her. Even if it was going to be a bit embarrassing…

Rarity stepped out of the shower feeling like a brand new woman. It always amazed her how a little hot water and some scented shampoos made all of the day’s stress and grime just melt away. Wrapped in a fluffy purple towel, she padded over to her dresser to find some suitable attire for the rest of the day.

First on the list was her choice of panties and it’s accompanying bra. While she was generally the only one to actually see them, it bothered her immensely if they weren’t color coded. It was simply part of her fashion designer state of mind. She chose a modest set of baby blue cotton panties with a tiny bow on the front, with a bra of similar design.

Next in line were the bottoms. It was supposed to be hot today so it was probably best if she chose something a bit more breathable. Jeans were ok during the spring, but in the summer they tended to cling to her legs from all the sweat. But a skirt was not only fashionable but nice and breezy. So she picked out a lavender colored frilled skirt. Thankfully, the top was the easiest of the three to choose. She had enough designer t-shirts to fill a small department store. Rarity picked out a lavender colored t-shirt with a cute, white kitten on the front.

Satisfied with her choice of attire, she sat in front of the mirror and began to comb her hair. Normally, she’d go all out and curl her hair into a brilliant coiffure but today she just wasn’t in the mood. Instead, she opted to simply comb it straight down. Eventually she would tie the end of it into a ponytail with a scrunchie, when it was dry enough.

Rarity would get to all of that dressing and hair business later. Now was a very special time of the day for her. It was that Zen moment of relaxation she cherished before the hustle and bustle of the day began. She slipped out of her towel, grabbed her favorite romance novel and plopped onto the bed. This was a time that she affectionately dubbed “skinny-skimming”.

The bare beauty’s moment of relaxation was not meant to last. In her single-minded desire to shower and relax, Rarity had momentarily forgotten that another person was living with her. As such, she had failed to lock her door…which meant that anyone could enter her room. And enter someone did. No sooner had she completed the second paragraph of the chapter, did Spike come barging into the room, dressed only in a pair of briefs.

It took her a few seconds to realize Spike was standing in the doorway but when she did, her face transformed into a credible caricature of a tomato. Screaming at the top of her lungs, she chucked the romance novel right at Spike’s face. While he was momentarily stunned, she hastily covered herself with bed sheets. Spike finally recovered only to be shoved out of the room, which made him fall straight on his ass.

“Rarity…I don’t understand! What’s wrong?”

“J-just go away Spike.”

“But I…”

“Don’t you dare come back in here!”

“Did I…do something wrong?”

“Ugggghhhhhh! You’re the most blockheaded man I’ve ever met! OF COURSE YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!! First of all, you came barging into my room without my permission and all you were wearing was a pair of underwear. That’s extremely inappropriate. Second of all…I WAS NAKED!!! Can you even fathom how embarrassing this whole situation is for me?”

“I t-thought you wanted me to wear these.”

“I do, but not to flaunt them in front of me. Undergarments are called undergarments for a reason, Spike. They’re supposed to go under your other clothes.”

“Oh…”

Rarity’s voice softened. “Look, I’m sorry darling. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I keep forgetting that you’re new to this whole being human thing. You have to understand that human women are more sensitive about being seen naked, than dragons or ponies are.”

“Umm, not to contradict you or anything but you looked pretty comfortable to me.”

“Well…yes, I was. Relaxing and reading in the nude is absurdly comfortable, but that’s not really the point. From now on, knock before you enter my room and do try to wear more clothing around the house as well…for both of our sakes.”