Bright Lights, Big City, Small Horses
Author's Note
Dear Readers,
Manehattan leaves its hoofprint on everypony who ventures into it.
Let's have a go at it, shall we?
—NotARealPonydotcom
P.S. Any errors? Please tell me!
Bright Lights, Big City, Small Horses
NotARealPonydotcom presents
Final Thoughts
on the City of Manehatten
Starring Princess Twilight Sparkle
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Dear Journal (and/or whomever is reading this),
I know that Rarity's already written about our journey to Manehatten and how she learned a lesson from it, but I feel it is important that any and all lessons we learn—"we" being the other Elements of Harmony and Spike—should be put down in this journal. This can help the ponies who will eventually read this learn as much as they can about the importance of friendship and how it shaped our lives and the lives around us. With that, allow me to tell you what I learned on my trip to Manehatten.
Let me start by saying that Manehatten is a gorgeous place. Between the gleaming towers that seem to rise into the heavens above as you tour the city, the countless landmarks that make such tours an absolute delight, and the seemingly limitless forms of entertainment scattered throughout the city streets (have I mentioned how great Hinny in the Hills was?), I can't decide what I find the most charming about the place. Everything about it screams at you with an excitement and attitude that's simply intoxicating. The city's energy is contagious enough to put anypony into an eccentric mood, which is exactly what happened to my friends and me when we first arrived—Rarity even broke into song and dance spontaneously.
However, there are a few small problems I had with the city, despite all of its positive aspects. Firstly, it seems that the weather team is not as effective at informing the citizens of Manehatten of the current weather schedule; it was the middle of the day when, out of nowhere, a rainstorm broke out, and only for a few minutes at that! There also seems to be a problem controlling the city's avian population: I watched a bird swoop in and snatch a carrot dog right out of Spike's hand. Admittedly, he was holding the dog comically high above his face, which was basically the same as saying "Gee, I sure hope nothing happens to this delicious carrot dog before I take a bite!" Still, though, it was odd to see such behavior from a bird. A few more pieces of advice, just as a warning: there are some alleyways that are a lot smellier than you'd think; some of the landmarks aren't meant for those who get a bit dizzy at great heights; if you plan on traveling by cab, don't expect instant service unless you make a friend out of a cab driver.
Of course, the city is still completely worthwhile if you can make the trip. These are all minuscule problems I've named, and I'd be ridiculous not to admit that I'm nitpicking when I point them out. They're little things, really. They probably won't even affect you, now that you know about them.
Oh, just one more thing: don't expect anypony to know that you're a princess, even if you're standing right in front of them with your wings and horn in plain sight.
Now, this one goes back to what I mentioned above about getting a cab to ride around in. It happened when we all realized that Rarity needed to get to her runway show in ten minutes. We approached a cab, hoping to get her a ride right then and there. Unfortunately, the cab was already filled. You can imagine how surprised I was to hear its passenger rudely tell us to move to the back of a cab line, one long enough to stretch around the street corner, without even listening to our reasons for wanting to go first. When I did explain what needed to happen, some random colt in the line spoke up and not only repeated the passenger's rude statement (in a much ruder fashion, I have to add), but implied that I was lying about Rarity needing a cab! Me, a princess of Equestria! Which brings me back to my complaint.
I didn't think it was that much of a problem at first. I mean, anypony could have made that mistake. I'm not as tall as Celestia or Luna or Cadence, and I'm still relatively new to the princess game. I've only done one public appearance since my coronation, and regardless of the fact that it was at the opening ceremonies of the Summer Sun Celebration and that I made this huge magic burst in the air in front of the entire city of Canterlot and then some, not everypony saw me or knows about me just yet. So it's understandable that the colt didn't realize who he was speaking to. And that's fine. Totally fine.
Well, besides the fact that I'm also the Element of Magic. Those stories must have gotten out, right? Six mares stop Nightmare Moon from bringing on an endless night? Six mares stop Discord from destroying Equestria with chaos? Six mares stop a changeling swarm from taking over the capital city of Equestria? Six mares save an empire that had been lost for a millennium from an evil ruler obsessed with crystals? The same six mares save the world multiple times, and yet they don't recognize them when they're trying to get their friend a cab ride. One of those must have been on the front page of the newspapers in Manehatten, right? And I know that I've had my photo taken for a paper before, so they have no excuse not to use my picture in those stories, either. Just because we've given up the actual Elements (there's another story—six mares save Ponyville from an expanding forest of evil and rescue Princesses Celestia and Luna, all in the same day!) doesn't mean we're not the same mares that have saved the world before! We still rescued all their lousy, rude-talking flanks, Elements or not, and it'd be nice to feel appreciated by somepony other than my mentor, who is Princess-pony-Celestia, I might remind you!
Now that I think about it, why do we even need a cab service, in any city? If you get down to the bones of it, all a cab does is make another pony run for you. You wouldn't really go any faster, unless of course every single cab driver in the world is a bulked-up stallion who ran for the Equestria Games at one point, which I'm certain they are not, speaking from my experience in Manehatten. In fact, pulling the cab and whomever chooses to ride in would make it slower than just running to your destination yourself. We're wasting money on that industry, really. Sure, it provides jobs, but wouldn't it be better to focus our spending on an industry that actually improves the lives of Equestrians, instead of forcing them to wait in ridiculously long lines made up of rude little ponies that can't even tell when they're talking to royalty!?!
I just re-read what I've written and noticed that I actually wrote three punctuation marks at the end of that last sentence. I didn't mean to, but now that I look at it, it seems to get my point across well enough.
Anyway, while Rarity learned that it's wrong to take advantage of other ponies' generosity, I learned that it's wrong to assume that everypony in Equestria knows who its rulers are. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a business letter to write.
Faithfully yours,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
P.S. Luggage is heavy. —Spike
