It was their idea, I swear

by Knight of the Raven

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Comedy, Rarity
Length: 1246

Twilight's latest trip to the human world promises fascinating information upon her return, but Rarity might get more than what she bargained for.

Twilight's latest trip to the human world promises fascinating information upon her return, but Rarity might get more than what she bargained for.

Rated Teen for sexual references.

Published 2014-01-06 00:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-06 00:50:03 UTC

It was their idea, I swear

Rarity along with her friends and Celestia waited in what was now known as the 'mirror room,' or, in Pinkie Pie's case, the 'a whole new world of friends room.' For that matter, she had kept singing about it, though she had foregone a few words in her lyrics. Rarity wondered idly if taping her mouth shut would count as a social faux-pas.

The veil of night had long covered the Crystal Kingdom. If Twilight didn't come back within less than half an hour, she'd remain in the human world for the next thirty moons.

"Be patient, my little ponies," said Celestia soothingly, not needing to raise her voice to be heard by everypony in the room. "Twilight has made many new friends there, and she only gets to see them for a few days. It's normal that she wishes to spend as much time there as she can before coming back."

Rarity looked away from Celestia once she was done speaking, her gaze drifting from the large pony lying on her stomach with her legs folded beneath her to her friends. Rainbow Dash predictably hovered about in an attempt to distract herself while stretching her wings. Fluttershy rested on a large pillow, following her fellow pegasus' movements with her eyes. Applejack peered attentively at a small dresser as she tried to guess what variety of tree it had come from. Pinkie Pie played with balloons and had thankfully stopped singing.

A thud caught everypony's attention.

Rarity turned her head to see Twilight planted face first on the floor in front of the mirror.

"Ow."

Celestia's eyebrows drooped in concern. "Are you alright?"

Twilight rose to her hooves and dusted herself off. "Yeah. I just, uh, tripped on my way back." She stretched her limbs with unconcealed relief. "Four legs. Just like it should be."

Spike then popped out of the portal and landed on her back, startling her. He crossed his arms. "I hate being a dog."

His eyes met Rarity and clouds seem to pass over them, to her confusion. He then shook his head and smiled as he looked back at her.

Both their friends now back, the five ponies hugged them adoringly while Celestia draped her wings over the group with a contented smile on her face. When they pulled away, Celestia turned to Twilight.

"How's Sunset Shimmer?"

"She's..."

Twilight stared off into space, then at Rainbow Dash and Rarity with a strange glint in her eyes.

"She's more than fine."

Detecting no sugarcoated ugly truth, Celestia beamed.

"Was using these two legs and these... uh..." Applejack racked her brain. "...these hands easier?"

Twilight blushed. "A little." She sighed. "Having no magic really sucks though."

Rarity shuddered. "Making dresses without magic." Applejack and Rainbow Dash rolled their eyes. "Reassure me darling, they're not wearing the same dresses as the last time you went there, are they?"

She'd have liked to say clothes in general instead of dresses in particular, but Twilight had explained to her that humans wore the former every day and, as such, often repeated their looks.

The horror of that situation had prevented her to sleep for three whole days.

"No, no, they're wearing new things." Twilight paused and clicked her tongue. "Well, except for Rainbow Dash."

That was a surprise.

The hovering mare spoke up, hiding her glee about as well as she hid her colors. "Is she still awesome as me?"

That was a surprise too.

Twilight stopped walking and her gaze grew troubled. "Weeeell..." Her voice advertised her uncertainty more surely than her behavior did her virginity.

Silence filled the room with the force of a furious storm upon an innocent coast. Rainbow Dash dropped to the floor and to her haunches before looking at Twilight as though she had ripped her heart out and stomped it to a gruesome pulp. Her wings hung limply by her sides, her ears flattened against the back of her head, her pursed lower lip trembled like so many leaves in the autumn wind and tears formed in the corner of her eyes.

Rarity would cherish this image forever.

"I'm pretty sure she's more awesome than you, since she's dating two girls at the same time."

A grin threatened to split Rarity's face in two. Oh, the scandal. The gossip.

Celestia just smiled while Spike sighed despondently as his shoulders fell.

At the same time, three jaws dropped in unabashed shock whereas Rainbow Dash's lips curled down in horror and her eyes widened. "I'm a two-timer!?"

Panic flashed in Twilight's eyes. "No, no!" She waved her forehooves in a placating gesture to stress her point. "They both know. They're okay with this." She rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. "I think it was their idea."

The jaws dropped a little lower. Celestia's happy smile grew.

Pleasant warmth spread throughout Rarity's body and she fanned her face. "Oh, my." Visions of two unknown yet beautiful mares caressing the athlete's tantalizing body filled her mind and her eyes glazed over as she pictured several kisses of untold, torrid passion.

Rainbow Dash was still reeling from the information so it was Fluttershy who squeaked the question which was on everypony's lips. "Who... who are they?"

"I'm not sure you guys want to know," muttered Spike.

Twilight's uneasiness shone like a lighthouse amidst the maelstrom of Rarity's fantasies. "I do," she murmured without realizing it. Neither did she notice everypony still in possession of their mental faculties inching away from her, save an amused Celestia.

"There's Sunset Shimmer..."

One of the strangers in her daydreams solidified into a pony with a mane of fire and lips hotter still. Rarity had caught a glimpse of Sunset Shimmer when they chased her, or at least of her rump, and found she wouldn't be able to fault Rainbow Dash's taste in the future. A thin strand of saliva hung from one corner of her lips in a most unladylike fashion. "Oh, my."

"I'm glad Sunset Shimmer learned to share," said Celestia.

The warmth within her body turned to ice so fast Rarity would have suspected she'd nurse a cold later if her imagination hadn't swan dove into a direction that extinguished what little coherent thought she still had as it connected dots.

Share.

GENEROSITY.

Rarity's eyes snapped into focus and she leveled a distressed stare at Twilight. "W-w-who... Who's the other girl!?"

Twilight swallowed the lump down her throat and bit her upper lip. "You are."

A merciless vortex of mental devastation swept away all decency and hope in Rarity's mind. Blood vanished from her cheeks and she reared before collapsing on her back. Images flooded her eyes in a torrent of horror, a train wreck montage of cleanliness murder.

Rainbow Dash coming back from work and entering her boutique without wiping her hooves, dragging mud, dirty grass and fireflies up to her bedroom. Rainbow Dash's tongue battling with her own without as much as a brushing of her teeth or a breath mint. Rainbow Dash wrapping her moisture-infested wings around her as she wore her prettiest dress. Rainbow Dash encouraging Sweetie Belle to disregard hygiene and good manners even more than she already did.

A screech that would make banshees pale in humility echoed throughout the castle. "THIS IS THE WORST POSSIBLE THING!"

The last thing Rarity heard before sinking into welcome darkness was the very object of her terror coming back to her senses.

"Damn, I'm awesome."