Cutie Mark Crusaders Lil' Crime Stoppers

by Grenazers

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 3173

On todays adventure, the crusaders are going to be detectives. Will they finally get their cutie marks? probably not.

In their latest quest of finding their cutie marks, the three fillies decided to try out being detectives. Join in on their adventure of finding the missing pie, searching for the stolen doll, and intense shoot out.

Note: this story is based on the first act of an south park episode.

Published 2014-01-08 18:10:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-08 18:10:04 UTC

Story

It was a beautiful day for the ponies of Ponyville. Pegasuses were soaring through the bright blue skies, Earth ponies were trotting along the grounds below, and unicorns did the same thing except with magic.

However, this was no ordinary day. Rather it was Saturday, for some ponies it was day of from work, but for children it meant no school. On this particular day fillies and colts were outside playing games and socializing, Or they are inside playing videogames or are on their computers.

Amongst the many little ponies, three certain filly stood out from the rest. These three are part of a group that is dedicated to helping young ponies find their cutie marks. This little group calls themselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Now some of you might wonder why this club doesn't have more members, After all with a goal like that it should have attracted the attention of some ponies in town.

Maybe its because they don't advertise their club that well, or it is because they are a exclusive club and they just don't allow any blank flank into their club. Then again it could be the fact that none of the three original founders of the club got their cutie marks yet. That reason alone is probably why they don't get new members.

CMC: Hey!

Oh hush now, you know it's true. Anyways on with the story.

The three crusaders are on their newest quest of finding their cutie marks. Today they are going to see if they'll get marks for being detectives. This idea was inspired from reading and watching too many stories about Noir style detectives living in crime ridden cities and doing what they can to help people while they have to deal with gangs, mobsters, and corrupt cops.

The three little detectives stopped in front of an house. One of them knocked on the door and waited. The occupant of the house took almost a minute to finally reach the door. Once the door was open the pony reveals to be a green unicorn with whitish green hair and a white streak.

“Oh hi girls, what are doing here?”

“Well Miss Heartstring me and my two friends here are trying out being detectives.” Sweetie belle answered.

“So yeah do have anything we can investigate?” Said Scootaloo, looking quite eager.

“Sorry girls, but I have nothing for you to investigate.”

“Aww.” The three said in unison and left while depressed.The fillies decided to head for the Sugarcube Corner.

Entering the bakery, the three notices the distress look on Mrs. Cake face.

“Hey Mrs. Cake what's the matter?” Applebloom asked.

The blue mare turned to face the three fillies. “Oh girls it's just awful.”
She then pointed to the counter. “I baked a perfectly good batch of cupcakes and put over their and now it is gone!”

Hearing this the three looked at each others with pure excitement on their faces.

“Hey Mrs. Cake maybe we can help?” said Applebloom.

“Yeah we're trying out being detectives.” Scootaloo continued.

“And your case is what we need!” Exclaimed Sweetie Belle.

Mrs. Cake stared at the three at fillies offering their service to her. Seeing no harm in this she shrugged and accepted their help.

With her permission the crusaders thoroughly scan the area, trying to find any traces of the missing cupcakes. Mrs. Cake left the girls alone so she work in kitchen.

Minutes passed and the fillies haven't found any clues. They were about give up until Scootaloo found something.

“Guys come over here.” the orange filly whispered to her friends.

The two fillies trotted to their friend's location. “Why are you whispering?” Sweetie asked.

Instead of saying anything Scootaloo pointed her hoof at a trail of crumbs leading to a closed door. Picking up what she meant, the three silently went for the door and opened it. What they found on the other side surprised them. It was the cake's twin eating the missing cupcakes.

“You thinking what I'm thinking?” Scootaloo questioned.

“Eeyup.” Applebloom acknowledges.

“Then lets go tell Mrs. Cake” Sweetie stated.

--

Later the three crusaders went and meet up with Mrs. Cake in the kitchen. The mare's husband Mr. Cake was also there with her.

“Oh Hi girls.” Mrs. Cake said upon seeing the fillies. “Did you found out where those cupcakes went?”

“Mrs. Cake we believe you should sit down for this.”

“Um OK.” said the confused mare.

“You too Mr. Cake.” Scootaloo pointed her at.

The stallion looked at his wife who just gave him a shrug. He then proceed to sit down next to the blue mare.

Once both ponies were siting, the crusaders decided that it was time for them to reveal what they found.

“To answer you question, yes we did find your missing cupcakes.” Sweetie stated. “We talked it through and we came up with a theory,”

“Well alright then what did you girls come up with?” Mr. Cake asked.

“Well Mrs. Cake you said that you left the freshly baked cupcakes on counter correct?” Sweetie asked rhetorically. “The smell of baked goods attracted the attention of somepony in the area, Mr. Cake.”

“That right Mr. Cake.” Scootaloo continued while pointing her hoof at the confuse yellow stallion. “You see your husband wanted those cupcakes, but knew that you wouldn’t allow it. Soon the rage within start to grow to the point where he can no longer contain it. He wanted those cupcakes and the only pony that is standing in the way is his wife. So he came to a conclusion, he has to dispose of her.”

“His plan was simple, first he use a plastic bag to suffocate you. Once dead he'll wait till night and carry your body to the Everfree Forest. Once there he will hack you up into pieces and scatter them around the forest, hoping the various predators inhabiting the place will devour the pieces.”

“And even if they do somehow trace it to him, he has another plan that will frame his mitress, Pinkie Pie.” Said Sweetie. “You see Mrs. Cake your husband has been having an affair with one of your employees. For years the two of them fooled around behind your back, but now she'll be used for another purpose, a scapegoat.”

“However, before he could enact his plan. He discovered that the cupcakes were missing, which we later found out was taken by your twins.”

Once they done telling their theory, Scootaloo quickly raised her hoof at husband. “Looks like the jig is up Mr. Cake!”

While the girls stood triumphantly over solving the case, the adult ponies had mouths wide open in shock at what they just heard.

“By Celestia where did you girls get these crazy ideas!” Said a horrified Mrs. Cake.

“TV, books, and comics.” Scootaloo answered nonchalantly.

“Alright girls I believe it time for you to go.” Mrs. Cake said as she pushed the three fillies towards the door. Once they were outside, the mare close the behind them.

The crusaders then turned their heads around, hoping to find a cutie marks. Sadly their flanks remain blanks.

“Well this sucks.” Grumbled the pegasus.

“Yeah, wanna try something else?” The unicorn suggest.

“Now come on girls we can't give up.” Applebloom said to her two friends. “We can't give up because of this one failed attempt.”

“Well what can we do Applebloom?” Scootaloo responded. “There is no crime going on in this town.”

“Well then we just have to keep looking.” Applebloom retorted.

Before Scootaloo could say anything, they were interrupted by the arrival of friendly mail mare.

“Oh hi girls!” Said a grey mare with long yellow hair and crossed eyes.

“Hey Mrs. Doo.” The three fillies said in unison.

“Why so down?” Ditzy questioned, noticing their depressed faces.

“Well the thing is were trying to see if we can find our cutie mark by being detectives.” Applebloom explained.

“Problem is there is absolutely nothing to solve in this town!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

“Oh you girls are detectives? Why I just happen to have case for you three to solve.” Ditzy said.

Hearing this the three gasp and focused their attention on the grey mare.

“Just yesterday Dinky told me she couldn't find her doll. She told me that she looked everywhere and she still can't find it.”

After hearing this the three fillies huddle together started coming up with theories.

“So we are all in agreement that it is theft?” Applebloom asked her two friends who in turn responded by nodding.

Once done the crusaders focused their attention on Ditzy again.

“Well Mrs. Doo if we are to solve this, we must examine the crime scene.”

“Well alright then.” the mare said and lead the three little detectives to her home.

When group arrived, Ditzy showed the girls Dinky's bedroom. She then left them to solve the case at hoof. Once alone they split up and examine the room. Dinky's room was pretty simple, it has a bed, a desk, a box full of toys, and other stuff you find in a typical child room.

While examining the room, they found picture of Dinky with her doll. The doll itself was a small pony wearing a fancy red dress and red ribbon on her its head.

“Hey girls over here.” Sweetie said calling for her friends.

“What is it?”

“Look at the window scootaloo, notice anything?”

The pegasus filly looked closely at the window for a bit until she found it.

“Yes I do Sweetie Belle!” Scootaloo said proudly.”The window is unlocked.”

“That's right! The thief must have snuck through this window and stole the doll!” Sweetie stated.

“Yeah also another thing.” Applebloom budded in. “Look at that branch outside.”

The branch she was pointing to came from the large tree outside. One of its expanding branches rose high above Dinky's bedroom window.

“That branch over there could possibly be where the thief was watching. From that position the thief has a full view of the room. The pony watched Dinky, while also possibly cutting themselves with a large rusty knife. Pain gives them sick pleasure.”

Thanks to observation of Applebloom, the three fillies finally got a theory. Now all they need is some suspects and they know where to start.

--

“Alright scumbag listen up I don't like you and you don't like me, but I know that you know something and if you want to leave this room unharmed you spill the beans and tell me!” Scootaloo angrily yelling at someone sitting across the table.

“Scootaloo what hay are you talking about?” Said a very confused Spike.

The purple dragon found himself tied up to chair, with lights from the lamb shining on his face. Around him everything was dark, if had to guess it was probably one of the Apple's cellars, due to the faint smell of apples.

Smashing her hoof on the table startled the baby dragon. “Don't play dumb with me Spike, I know for a fact that you something that I want know!”

“Scootaloo I have no idea what you're talking about!”

Upon hearing this the filly flip the table and charged at the dragon. Luckily for him Sweetie Belle was with and she pulled her friend back. Currently the two fillies are playing good cop and bad cop, with Scootaloo being the bad and Sweetie Belle being the good.

Once Sweetie Belle calms Scootaloo down, she trotted right next to Spike.

“Listen Spike I wanna help you out here, I really do, but I can't do that if you're not willing to tell us what we want.”

“You guys never told me what you want to know!” shouted Spike.

After his outburst, the two fillies huddle together.
“Damn it he's not cracking.” Scootaloo Said.

“Yeah he's one hard nut to crack.” Sweetie responded.

“Yeah well this nut is about to crack.”

The orange filly proceeds to trot right up to prisoner's face.

“Well Spike if you are so sure that you don't know anything, then that means you won't mine giving us a seman sample.” She said while holding a plastic cup.

Spike face redden from Scootaloo's demand. “You want my what!”

“Do I have to repeat myself!” She angrily responded. “I said give me your seman sample!”

“Scootaloo do you even know where seman comes from?” Spike questioned her.

She was taken back this, but quickly recover. “Quit stalling dirtbag and just give us your sample!”

“You still didn't answer my question.”

“Just shut up and give me your seman!”

“Well the thing with that is I need my claws for this.”

“Um why? Does your claws have something to do with seman?”

“Well you see--” He was then suddenly interrupted by the loud sound of door opening.

Standing in the doorway was Applebloom. “Gals come quick, I know where the doll is!”

Hearing this both Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo rush to the door and join up with Applebloom outside. This left the little dragon all tied up alone in the dark cellar. Just when he thought he was safe he heard the voice of Scootaloo outside.

“I still want that seman sample, Spike!”

--

Apparentlly while Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were interrogating Spike, Applebloom went around town and ask various ponies if they have seen the doll. After going through a bunch one pony finally gave her a something. According to them they saw Snip and Snails having a doll that match their description.

With this new lead, the three detectives went straight to Snails's house.

When they arrived Scootaloo stealthy moved towards the large window. Peeking in the orange was surprise to find both Snips and Snails playing with the doll.

With Confirmation of them having the doll, Scootaloo signal her partner Sweetie Belle with her hoof. She moved her hoof around as if trying to communicate with her.

“What?” Said her confused friend.

Scootaloo did it again, but slower this time.

“Scootaloo hand signal is impossible to do if you don't have fingers.”

The orange filly face-hooved herself. “Look Snip and Snails are in there and they have Dinky's doll.”

“You hear that Applebloom? They have the doll.”

“Alright girls time to crackdown on these criminals.” Applebloom while taking out her imaginary pistol.

Both her friends took out their own imaginary pistol and trotted with her to the door. Knocking on it loudly, Applebloom announce themselves to the two occupants inside.

“This is the Cutie Mark Crusaders Detectives! Open up we know you have the doll!” she shouted.

“Are those girls playing detectives?” Snails whispered to his friend.

“Apparently so.” Snip answer. “Hey let's play along.”

“OK.”

“Hey you three get lost or else the doll gets it!” Snip yelled.

“Yeah right! You two don't have the balls to do it! Applebloom retorted.

“What are talking about Snails have plenty of balls here.”

“Yeah he's right why are you talking about their balls?” Sweetie Belle questioned.

“That's what Detective Copper said to the criminals in that one episode, Hostage Hospital.”

“Yeah well we can't risk the safety of that doll.” Scootaloo pointed out.

“Then what do you suggest?”

Scootaloo cocked her imaginary pistol. “We sneak in from the back and take these criminal scum down.”

Nodding their heads in agreement the three went to the other side of the house. The backdoor was open, allowing them get inside the house.

They then came across the living room where the Snip, Snails, and the doll are. They were planning to take them down silently, but Snip heard their hoof steps.
“Oh no they're inside!” He said. “Quick let's take them down.”

Both Snip and Snails both took out their imaginary pistols and fire at the detectives. The girls return fire while making gun noises with their mouths. Applebloom was saying bang for her gun, Scootaloo was saying bam, and Sweetie Belle was saying ptoo.

“No Sweetie Belle, gun don't go ptoo its suppose to be bam or bang.” Scootaloo corrected her friend.

With the gun fight getting intense both sides took cover behind nearby furniture. Appleboom popped out of cover and fire her gun

“Hey Snip I gotcha!”

“No you didn't!”

“Yes I did!”

“No, I got like super armour, that like um.. gives protection against bullets.”

“That bullcrap and you know it!”

“That's it time to end this girls.” Scootaloo announced. “Cover me, I going slow-mo.”

The orange moved out of cover and was moving really slowly. Raising her hoof up she fired her gun at the two colts across.

Seeing her doing this, the boys play along and act like they were shot. They then collapse on the floor playing dead.

With them taken care of the crusaders finally retrieve the doll.

--

Back at Ditzy house, the grey mare was just resting on her couch. Suddenly hearing knocking at the door, she just up and went for the door. Opening it up she saw the crusaders from before, holding Dinky's doll.

“My goodness is that Dinky's doll?”

“That's right Mrs. Doo, we got your daughter's doll back. Said Applebloom.

Taking the small doll from, Ditzy continue to thank them.

“You three did really good job, how about a muffin for your reward?” She offered.

“No thank you, justice is our only reward.”

“That's dumb Appleloom.”

“Shut up Scootaloo.”

“Oh but, I insist girls.”

“Well alright if you insist.”

The three fillies left the house, each one munching on their muffins.

Once done eating they check their flanks again, hoping to find a mark. Sadly nothing again.

“Oh come on after all that!” Sweetie said angrily.

“Well this sucks.” Scootaloo spoke. “Wanna try something else?”

“Now hold your horses there Scoot, how about we continue doing this.” Applebloom suggested.

“Why? We didn't get our cutie marks.”

“Maybe so but, look at we just accomplsihed. Not only did we solve a case, but we also reunited a little filly with her doll back.”

“Yeah that's true.” Scootaloo acknowledges.

“But what about our cutie marks?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Now Sweetie Belle we'll still do that, but we can also be detectives.”

“Oh alrighty then.”

“Then what are we waiting for? Let go find for crimes to solve!”

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS LIL' CRIME STOPPERS,YAY!” The three shout and run off to their next adventure.

--

Epilogue

The girls never did continued being detectives. After Applejack found Spike tied up in the cellar she immediately punished Applebloom by having her work longer hours on the farm.

Sweetie was also punish and was forced model for her sister Rarity for her next clothing line.

Scootaloo didn't receive any punishment since she was an orphan.

Scootaloo: For the last time I'm not an orphan! For Celestia sake I live in house!”

Yeah an orphanage.

Scootaloo: I have parents!

Then where are they?

Scootaloo: They'll come around.

Sure they will kid.

And thus conclude the story of Cutie Mark Crusaders Lil' Crime Stoppers.

Author's Note

True Fact: I came up with the idea of this story while watching that episode. Surprising, I know.