Memiors of a Mane Stylist: The Daffidazey diaries

by Paradise Oasis

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 18803

The Private Diary of Ponyville's mane stylist from long ago, giving insight into the humourous and chaotic lives the town's citizen's lead.

Recovered and translated from the archives of ancient Equestria.... the Private Diary of Ponyville's mane stylist. An insight into the day-to-day insanity from those nigh insane equines, from the one pony who would know the mares of that famous town inside and out. (Set nine generations after the events of FiM on my fanfic timeline)

Published 2014-01-06 00:30:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-13 19:40:48 UTC

A Beautician's woes

These are excerpts from a private diary, which belonged to a mare from old Ponyville from seven centuries past. Normally, it would be bad manners to reprint a lady's deeply personal thoughts for all the world to see. But this diary belonged to a pony who was in a position to gather all the gossip and secrets in old Ponyville – that of the town hair stylist. Please note in translating this work out of Middle Equestrian, I had to change some narrative terms, and kind of altered the writing style a bit, almost making it sound like my own. Anyway, I hope you enjoy my translation, though I can't say the original author had a good time writing it...

Tornado Firehooves

Dream Castle Historian

A beautician's woes

Have you ever had something go totally wrong, diary? Something that just seems to turn a perfect day into a disaster? Well, this kind of thing happens to me all the time, and it was today, dearest diary, that was a perfect example of just how bad these days can get...

"Marvelous, simply marvelous work on my splendid mane!" a mare exclaimed in delight. "Daffeydazey, you've done it again!"

Another satisfied customer trotted out of the shop, her mane done up in a style she's delighted with, and a feeling she's been properly pampered and made to feel special. As another mare came trotting in through my door, I proudly reflected on how my special brand of delicate love and care can make a little worry and stress melt away like butter on a hot stove. It is my special talent, after all... making sure the earth ponies of this town are feelin' good, feelin' good!

Oh my stars, I'm getting way ahead of myself! My name's Daffey, and I'm the chief mane stylist and beautician of Ponyville. I run The Petal Parlor, a sweet little beauty salon that puts together the hottest styles in the land! As a white mare with a yellow and pink mane, I might not look like much myself... but the ponies all love my stylin' so much, I even get the unicorns and Pegasi flyin' into this place!

"Hello, Daffey Darling!" a blue mare with a rainbow mane greeted me, the bell above my door ringing as she trotted into my shop. "I'm here for the usual, think you can fit me in, darling?"

"Sure, Rainbow Dash!" I called from one of the tables, as I swept away the blonde, pink, and purple clippings left from cutting Sunny Daze's mane. "Just let me take care of my next customer here, and I'll be right with you."

"Oh, take your time, darling." My many-colored-maned friend laughed, took a seat, and grabbed a magazine. "I don't have to be back at the dress shop for a few hours, so I have plenty of time to kill."

I merely nodded, and went back to sweeping up the clippings. Ever since I was a little filly, I knew that being a beautician was my special calling. That's what that blossoming flower on my flank represents – the beauty I can craft from an uncut and unwashed mane – 'tis my art to snip and cull away at a pony's pastel locks, my true passion! Only by diving into a mare's hair with shears and comb in hoof, can I feel truly feel alive!

I apprenticed under the town's previous beautician as a teenager, and took over The Petal Parlor when she retired. I may not be the prettiest pony myself (In fact, I really don't think I'm pretty at all) but I can give all my friends the cutest haircuts Ponyville has ever seen!

On one side of the salon, Sweetberry and Sparkleworks were sitting under two hairdryers with their manes up in curlers, waiting for their perms to get done. In the back, my assistant Amberlocks was washing Razzaroo's hair, getting her mane ready for the next big birthday party she's planning. She's such a good little assistant, that Amberlocks. She told me she wants to open her own shop in Unicornia, The Celebration Salon, after I've taught her all I know.

"Hey boss, I finished the shampoo!" my pink apprentice with the orange mane called up. "Razz wants conditioner number six in her mane, should I give it to her?"

"No, don't use that one!" I yelled back, getting the chair in front of me ready for it's next occupant. "Razz has a mane that easily tangles, use number eight on that scruffy mess!"

"Awww, you're no fun, Daffey!" Razzaroo snorted back to me, annoyed. "I wanted the lilac-scented one, yes yes yes!"

"That one'll make your mane an even bigger mess! Oh no no no!" Turning back, I spun the pink barber chair around to face a mirror, and looked over at the ponies seated in the chairs nearby. "Next!"

"All right Daffey!" a green mare with a candy cutie mark said, laughing. "I think it's my turn to go next!"

"A-all right...if you say so, Minty." I replied nervously, as the green pony hopped into the seat. As I began to comb her mane over, I tried to push my worries out of my head. Sure, Minty may be the klutziest Pony in Ponyville, but that doesn't mean she's going to mess up the shop again like the last time I tried to cut her mane, right? "What'll it be this time, Mints? The usual?"

"Nah, give me a ponytail, with some ribbons this time." She giggled again. "Make 'em green, of course!"

"You got it, Minty." I clapped my hooves together. "Snippy, bring me my shears, please."

"On it, chief!" The little pink Breezie zoomed up, bringing my scissors with her. "You want the electirc razor, too?"

"Nah, Minty's mane doesn't call for it," I tell her, throwing a cloth over Minty to keep the hair off of her shiny coat. "Now, what have you been doing, Mints?"

"Oh, you know… burning cookies in Pinkie Pie's kitchen here, knocking all the books off the shelves in Storybelle's library there," she replied with a nervous laugh, as I started to trim her mane. "Just my usual silly mess-ups, ya know?"

"Oh Minty." I sighed, pushing my glasses back up my muzzle as they began to slide down. "Do you always have to be so klutzy?"

"Oh, come on now, I'm not really that bad," She added defensively, rambling as usual. "Well, I mean I'm not all that bad, as least compared to other ponies. I mean, don't we all have our goofy moments? I mean sure, my foul-ups might be the foulest of the foul. But my errors are the erroriest and my mistakes aren't the mistakiest. I mean, look at you whenever you don't have your glasses on, Daffey. You become the clumsiest, most-"

"Oh, she's nothing compared to you, darling," Rainbow Dash butted in, as she stepped up to my shop's Twist and Twirl machine. "Or have you forgotten how you 'helped' me by dyeing my favorite gown green."

"Hey, I think it looks prettier!" The green pony snorted indignantly. "Besides, that rainbow dress was clashing with your rainbow... well, everything else."

"Wow, what a comeback, darling." The blue earth pony sighed, as her mane was twisted up into the machine, and Amberlocks went to work styling Dash's new curls. "Tell me darling, how do you put up with the awful and terrible burden of being Minty?"

"Awww, you're just jealous, Dash," Minty replied with her usual giggle. "And it's me who should be jealous of a wonderful pony like you. Can't you see I'm simply green with envy?"

The four of us burst out laughing at that – none of those jabs had been serious, of course. I've never seen a pony get mad at another pony in this town, even the males manage to control their temper around here (except that silly hubby of Fiesta's, I really wish he'd keep his nosy snout to himsel- ahem, anyway...)

And it was at this point, that all the trouble began.

Minty began flailing her hooves around as she laughed, and knocked my glasses off my face. "Whoa-oa-ooa!" It sent me stumbling backward... right into the button for the twist and twirl machine.

"Rainbow Dash, Look out!" Amberlocks shrieked, quickly diving out of the way. "Or you'll get one bad hair day!"

"Darling, what are you-" Running at full power, the machine suddenly sucked her mane up into it's innards, picking the poor mare up off the ground, and spinning her through the air like a helicopter.

"A-i-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" I heard Rainbow Dash wail, as her mane tore free, and sent her flying into the unoccupied hair dryers. The machines began to sizzle as Dash's skull connected with the wiring, and our poor dressmaker suddenly lit up, as the voltage shot and sparked through her body.

"Ahhhhhhh" -zap!- "Aieeeeeeee!" -zot!- "Agahhhhhhhhh!"

"Whoah, cool!" Spakleworks exclaimed, as she and Sweetberry jumped out from under the dryers. "She's all lit up like one of Sunny's video games!"

"Oh my stars!" I shrieked, slipping my glasses back onto my face. "Rainbow Dash, are you all right?"

"Oh, fine, fine... just fine darling." The blue pony pulled herself out of the frayed electrical mess, her torn and haggard mane sticking out in every direction, and her eyes rolling around in her head like billiard balls. "I just have one question, darling..." *cough* -zap!- Her mouth sparked like a lighter. "Did someone get the number of that carriage that ran me over?"

Rainbow Dash then collapsed into a heap. Panic spread though the salon, as we all crowded around poor Dashie, to make sure she was all right. Minty hopped out of the barber's chair with her half-cut mane, and once she saw Rainbow was going to be fine, slowly backed her way out the door.

"Ohhh, hey, look at the time... I have a batch of green shamrock juice to mix up. " The green mare whinnied nervously, before making a break out the door. "Sorry Daffey, I'll have to finish my mane cut later bye seeya!"

As Minty galloped her way out the door, a white mare with a magnifying glass cutie mark came trotting in after her.

"Allo, Miss Daffeydazey! I'm 'ere for my usual perm and curler job!" Puzzlemint exclaimed as she came through the door. "Blimey, was that Minty who just went gallopin' outta 'ere? An' why does somethin' in 'ere smell like really badly charred meat?"

And that, dear diary, was how things went so terribly, terribly wrong today...

Kimono's bad mane day

Kimono's bad Mane Day

*Sigh* Diary, you know how I said things couldn't possibly get any worse after yesterday? Whelp I gotta say today, things just got a whole lot more worse.

Following the crazy commotion in the Petal Parlor yesterday, I had a day here now to clean up the mess, and try to get this place back into something resembling working order. Sparkleworks had already finished repairs on the hair dryers and Twist and Twirl machine, and Toola Roola has repainted my walls. I had decided to give Amberlocks and Snippety Snap the day off, as everybody had gotten their mane's done yesterday for the upcoming cherry blossom festival in Ponyville, and I didn't expect many customers. I was just tidying up the shelves, dear diary, when I heard a soft hoof knock at the door.

"Ah-ah, come in, please." I called out, and the door suddenly burst open with a gust of wind. The autumn leaves swirled though my salon, spinning about in a spiraling swirl of colors, before blowing out the open window behind me. It was at that point, that I knew I had a very special visitor, indeed.

"Hello, Daffeydazey." A tall, pinkish purple mare greeted me, as she trotted into my shop. Her luxuriant purple mane swung to and fro as she walked, and the twin paper lantern on her cutie mark actually seemed to glow. "My friends and I have come to get our manes done, and we were wondering if you had the time to fit us into your schedule.

"Of course, Kimono! There's always time for the wisest pony in the land." I bowed respectfully to the oriental pony, gesturing towards the three open beauty chairs. "Please, won't you and your friends come in, and have a seat?"

Of course Kimono would be coming on the day before a festival , I realized, It was the one day she could actually enter the salon, and relax in peace. All of this towns other, um, 'eccentric' inhabitants were busy preparing for their next party. Kimono is one of the few of our friends with any amount of common sense in Ponyville, one of the reasons she chooses to live in her furnished cave outside of town. There is nothing this mare doesn't know, as all knowledge of Ponyville and the land beyond comes to her on the four winds. The winds of Ponyville seem to respond to this mystical mare's moods, and right now a serene and clam breeze blew in from outside.

In behind her trotted two other oriental ponies I know only a little... Juniper Jade, a purple watercolor artist with a pink mane, whose paintings of natural setting rival Toola Roola's in popularity here in Ponyville. And Jade Garden, a white mare with a rainbow mane, who kept the beautiful Zen gardens near Kimono's home. The three oriental ponies bowed to me respectfully, then took their seats in the waiting beauty chairs.

"Most honorable Daffeydazey, we have come here today, because we would like for you to-" Juniper started.

"-give us each a hooficure and perm, so that we may look our best for the celebration tomorrow." Garden finished, as both ponies nodded at their joined sentence.

"I would be happy to, my dears." I replied, sliding my glasses up on my muzzle. "The same for you Kimono?"

"Neigh, my good friend." The wisest of ponies replies. "I would like my mane up in buns, just like last year." She tells me. "But I would care for that hooficure like my other two dear friends here are getting."

Smiling at the oriental pony's flowery speech, I retrieved my metal file, and went to work on Juniper's front hooves. "So, any of you hear about what happened here yesterday?"

"We heard that Minty fouled things up again-" Juniper Started.

"-and made a mess of both your establishment, and poor Rainbow Dash." Garden finished.

"Oh, now that's not really fair, girls." I respond, shifting to Juniper's back hooves. "I mean, the girl does try her best, really she does."

"So much so, that she caused your salon damage?" Garden asked.

"Indeed, that doesn't sound very much like 'trying her best' to me." Juniper answered.

"Now stop that, you two!" Kimono chided them, as I began filing away at Garden's hooves, and readied the polish and gloss to be applied. "You know very well that Minty and the other ponies in this town didn't have the disciplined upbringing that we did!"

"That's true." Garden replied. "The three of us had the strictest of parents, and strict discipline was the key to honor."

"No talking, no making loud noises, no playing in the house." Juniper sighed in agreement. "It was hard to tell who was worse, Kimono's mom, or ours."

"But they always meant well, my honorable friend, just as Minty does." Kimono added. "And if it weren't for their firm discipline, the three of us might not have turned out as the wonderful ponies we are today."

"So, what do you predict for our dear little Minty, Kimono?" I ask her, as I finished up filing her hooves. "What does the all-seeing wind tell you is in store for our dear green friend?"

"My gift does not work that way Daffey." She told me, trotting over to the sink in the back so I could shampoo her mane. "If you want a vision of the future, you'd be better off asking Pinkie Pie."

After finishing with the threes' hooves, I went to work on their manes, one by one. After cutting and washing Kimono's two friend's manes, I finally started work on the mare herself. This beautiful purple head of hair is a miracle- some of my greatest stylist masterpieces have been crafted out of this smooth and silky mane, as Kimono has come in here for different cuts over the years. Whenever I need to work on the oriental pony's hair. I enter an almost euphoric state. So many lovely locks to brush and cut, so many ribbons and tassels to put in! Ohhhhhhhhh...

*Ahem* yes, well... anyway. As I was putting the finishing touches on her mane cut, Kimono turned back to me.

"Most honorable Daffey, Before you put my mane up into the buns... I would care to have a slightly stronger shampoo, to make my mane stick out a bit more for the cherry blossom festival tomorrow."

"Why of course, Kimono." I replied, gesturing over towards the sinks in the back. "Please, go on back and relax, I'll be with you in a moment."

As she rested her head on the back of the sink, I put Juniper and Garden under the newly repaired hairdryers, and grabbed the extra strength shampoo/conditioner mix off the shelf. Trotting back towards the sink, I noticed a golden band with many trinkets on it around the oriental pony's hoof.

"Oh my, what a lovely charm bracelet!" I exclaim, as I turn the water on and begin to moisten her mane. "Did you get that as a gift?"

"Oh yes, from my beloved Yukata!" The wise pony exclaimed, her smile positively beaming, as a pleasant warm wind blew outside. "You remember him, do you not, Daffey?"

"Yes indeedy!" I reply, giving her a first rinse. "He's the cute cerulean stallion who Waterfire introduced you to, Right?"

"Yes, he's the one. He has been courting me for this entire year past." Her cheeks blushed a deep red. "In fact, I wasn't going to say anything yet Daffey, but... he proposed to me, Daffey! Right at this years Spring Fancy Parade!"

"W-why that's incredible, Kimono!" I replied enthusiastically, nearly dropping the shampoo in surprise. "Congratulations! Are the two of you shooting for a summer wedding?"

"Oh, we're thinking about it, believe me. " Kimono responded, as I applied the shampoo. "That's why I want my mane to look extra shiny for him at the festival tomorrow!"

"Well then, we'll have to make sure you look extra special for him, won't we?" I giggled, working the lather through her mane with my hooves. But as the shampoo began to bubble and sud up, I noticed both it and her mane turning a very odd shade. "What in the world?"

"What is it?" Kimono asked, as she looked up at me. "Daffeydazey, is something wrong?"

"MISS DAFFEY!" It was at that moment, that Amberlocks came galloping through the door of the salon in a panic, nearly out of breath. "Miss Daffey, there's something I have to tell you!"

"Whoah, slow down, Amber!" I told her calmly, trying not to let her excite me or the three customers. "What in the world brings you here on your day off?"

"Miss Kimono, I came to warn you, don't use the extra strength shampoo!" The gasping mare told me. "I was just at the Cotton Candy Cafe, and Minty admitted to me she knocked the bottle over when she was in here the other day, and spilled it down the drain!" My eyes go wide in horror, as I dreaded what was going to come out of her mouth next. "She didn't know what was in the bottle- cause, you know, you take all the labels off all your bottles, so only we know what's in them- so she replaced the stuff inside with some of her green mane dye!"

"Uh oh..." My blood suddenly beegan to run cold, and my face turned even paler than my coat already is.

"Green?!" Kimono gasps in horror, her own eyes going wide. "Daffey, rise this stuff out of my mane, at once!"

I rush to comply, rinsing the gooey suds out of her hair as fast as I can... but by the time I get it all out, I can already see it's too late.

That beautiful purple mane, that gorgeous work of art that was the envy of every mare in Ponyville, was now a sickly green and tangled mess, that made a bird's nest look like a masterpiece.

"Aieeeeyahhhhhhhh!" Kimono screamed in horror, throwing her hooves up in shock. As if fate had not already been cruel enough to the wisest pony in the land, her lovely engagement charm went flying off her hoof, sailing across the room...

.. and disappeared down the large open floor drain in the center of the parlor, never to be seen again.

It was at that point, that Kimono's eye began to twitch. "I... that... eck... ungh..."

I had never seen kind and gentle Kimono angry before, I didn't even know she was capable of anger before that moment. But I must say it's kind of like watching a ficrecracker going off in the evening summer sky... if that firecracker were right in front of your face, that is.

"MMMMMIIIIIIINNNNNNTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYYY!" As a loud, terrifying scream and a forceful wind with the might of a hurricane emanated from my beauty shop, I suddenly felt very sorry for a certain green mare in Ponyville...

The Sunny Summer Daze

The Sunny Summer Daze

Hello again, Diary. Today was my day off, so I thought I might go to the beach to enjoy the fresh sea air and warm sunshine. And after what happened the other day with Kimono, I am totally on the verge of a nervous breakdown. So Amberlocks and Snippy are running the parlor, so I can just relax with a fun day of sun and surf.

Trotting down to the shoreline of the Ponyville sea, I stopped by the Story Loft to pick up a book I hadn't read yet- Daring Do and the Griffin's goblet, some old book from some adventure series Storybelle recommended to me. I always love reading these older books- like the fairy tales about those two alicorn Princess sisters that were supposed to raise the sun and moon a long time ago. Those stories are so silly- they even have a Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie that don't act like the real ones at all!

Making my way down to the beach, I noticed several ponies playing along the shoreline, building sandcastles and swimming in the clear blue water. Several mares and fillies waved at me, as I trotted down to the sandy coast. Opening my umbrella, I pull my book and beach blanket out of my bag, and lie back in the shade to read.

"Hey dudes, look!" A stallion's voice called out, pointing over in my direction. "Check out that major hottie over there!"

As he and his two friends galloped down the beach towards me, my cheeks turned a deep red, and I hid my face behind my book. Oh dear, I had always wanted to attract a boy's attention, but not like this! What had I done to catch their notice? What was I going to do?!

It was then to my surprise, that the three stallions stopped right in front of me, and looked and pointed out at the ocean. It was the young mare out there hopping around on the surfboard that had caught their attention, not the mature attractive mare lying right behind them, that they were totally ignoring. Grrr...

"Woohoo, Sunny! Ride dem waves!" One of the stallions called out. "You go girl!"

"Man, she is soooo awesome!" His friend agreed. "Nobody in Ponyville can surf like that Sun-ay!"

Of course, Sunny Daze. Ponyville's resident tramp- er, surfing and sporty tomboy. I can see her out there, doing handstands and summersaults on her surfboard. The showoff mare was cresting the tops of the white capped waves as she performed tricks for her captivated male audience. Oh diary, with that red and white striped bikini and rainbow-colored mane, how can any mare compete with the incredbile white pony with the sun cutie mark?

"Hello boys, glad to see you all here!" Sunny announced, as she road her board right up onto the sandy beach. Two of the stallions instantly stepped forward, each taking one of her hooves, and walking off the board. "I do so love to see you boys turn out to watch me surf!"

"Showing off your stuff again, huh Sunny?" I grumbled in annoyance, not looking up from my book.

"Oh, hey Daff! What's up?" Sitting down, she looked back at the stallions, and batted her long eyelashes. "Excuse me, boys? Would the three of you mind going over to Cotton Candy's cafe, and picking me up a lemonade? First one who gets back here can share my straw while I sip."

At the prospect of sharing fluids with the pretty young mare, the three boys galloped on down the beach towards the cafe, while Sunny Daze turned to talk to me.

"So, how's the hair business, babe?" She asked, adjusting her shades with her hoof. "I take it your work is a 'cut' above the average?"

"Ha ha, funny." I grumbled, rolling my eyes. "I just bet the surfing the waves has it's ups and downs, too."

"HA! Good one!" She laughed, slapping her hoof against the sand. "You're always a barrel of laughs, Daffy!"

I had to struggle to keep my mouth shut as that last remark, coming out of the mouth of the most athletic mare in Ponyville. Sunny Daze has been the town's attention grabber every since we were all little fillies. Somersaulting and cartwheeling everywhere, chugging lemonade and burping like a rude stallion. And her surfing... nobody can ride a board like that girl can, zipping back and forth across the water like she had been born to ride. Some ponies think she has some Pegasus blood in her the way she flies across the white caps.

But that part is at least tolerable. What infuriates the mares that come into my shop is the way every colt and stallion that comes to the beach literally crawls at this pony's side, catering to her every little whim, and totally ignoring every other mare and filly along the beach. This has caused much angry gossip around the mares sitting under my shop's hair dryers- including the suggestion that she's warmed the bed of every unattached stallion in Ponyville.

Not to mention that tangled, unruly mess of a mane is the hardest bunch of clumps and knots my scissors have ever had to cut through. And every time I wash her hair, the beach sand she's collected up there always clogs up my sink! Ohhhh, how I dread her coming into my salon!

"Hey, you should really come out surfing with me sometime, Daff!" She grins, trying to strike up a conversation with me. "Catch some rays, get the dudes lookin' at ya. Sure beats just layin' hear on your flank all the time."

"Oh, but I'm sure you are used to being on your back a lot." I mutter under my breath. "I've heard you do your best work there."

"What was that, babe?" The mare asked, cocking an eyebrow at me.

"Oh, it was nothing." I replied cheerfully, looking up from my book. "Oh, it looks like your boy toys are back with your lemonade."

"Yeah, I'd better get going!" She giggled, standing up as the three stallions raced towards her, each carrying a lemonade in their saddle cup holders. "Talk to ya later, Daff!"

The little tramp-er. surfer girl then took off towards her entourage, leaving a whole beach of scowling and angry mares in her wake.

"Ohhh, of all the-" I finally snapped in frustration, letting my glasses fall off my face, and down onto the strap around my neck. That mare has totally ruined the day here on the beach for me! With a sigh, I slammed my book shut, gathered my stuff, and trotted up the beach towards the surf shop.

I just can't believe that Sunny! Every male just seems to totally fall all over her, and she gets all the attention, while the rest of us are left with the scraps! And the worst part of it, diary? She is sooo nice about it! She always has a smile and something nice to say, and is completely oblivious to how her attention grabbing is affecting the rest of us! Oy, the only girl who can even compete for a few boys with Sunny is her best bud Sparkleworks, which explains why those two are always hanging out together. I just wish the rest of us stood a chance against that surfer chick, diary!

It's not long before I came to the Wonder Waves Surf Shop- a beach hut style shack with a yellow straw roof, and pink and yellow painted bamboo walls. The bell rang as I trotted through the door, and the two mares behind the counter look up as I came inside.

"Yo, Daffeydazey! What's up?" Sapphire Shores, the pink mare with the Blue and white mane, greeted me. "We didn't expect to see you here!"

"Yeah, what brings you to the surf shop?" Beach Belle, the blue mare with the red and yellow mane, asked.

"Hey girls, just enjoy my day off on the beach." I replied with a sigh, trotting my way up to the counter. "Or at least I was, until I ran into our dear, sweet Sunny D.!"

"Awww, what happened?" The other mare pulled a stool up for me. "Take a seat and tell us all about it, girlfriend!"

The two mare who ran of the Wonder Waves Surf Shop, Sapphire Shores and Beach Bell are Ponyville's two queens of the sun and surf- after sunny, of course. Sapphire is supposed to be descended from a long line of pop singer ponies, but she's much better at stringing seashells together to make jewelry, a talent her yellow sea shell cutie mark illustrates. Beach Belle simply blooms when it comes to getting the right beach outfits and accessories for a mare- a sort of beachside counterpart to our own dear Rainbow Dash. The two lend a sympathetic ear to my plight, as I tell them my sad story.

"Staling all the guys, and leaving none for us? Girlfriend, that is not cool at all." Beach Belle snorted indignantly. "We should go and teach that beach bimbo a lesson."

"Now, Beachy..." Sapphire warned, trying to calm her friend. "Sunny is our boss, she does own this place, after all. Besides, she has absolutely no idea how much she's hurting other ponies."

"Oh, I'm thinking of a different kind of revenge." The mare with the white flower cutie mark replied. "Daffey, do you think you could do our manes up, right here in the shop?"

"Yes, I believe so." I reply, putting my glasses back on my face. "But why-?"

"And Sapphire, you think you can pick out a few cute seashell necklaces for us to wear?" The mare asked, grinning.

"Beach Belle. what are you planning?" Sapphire inquired, getting up from her stool from behind the counter nervously.

"Girls, it's makeover time!" The mare ran over to one of the butterfly spinner racks, pulling off one of the bikini tops, and ripping the price tag off of it. "We're gonna show little miss Sunnay Daze that we're just as desirable as she is!"

What followed dear Diary, was a flurry of mane styling and hairspray, of trying on seashell necklaces and applying hoof gloss. Over the course of an hour we were all three transformed from plain old ordinary mares, to beautiful extraordinary mares. It's not often I get to doll myself up a bit instead of working on others, so it actually feels kind of... nice, for a change.

"Hey, Sapphire! Don't pull that so tight!" I protested, as she and Beach Belle tied up the strings on either side of my bikini bottom. "I think you're cutting off the circulation to my back legs!"

"Sorry Daffey, but ya gotta show some flank if ya wanna catch the boy's eye!" She replied with a giggle, as she tied on my top. "Now, let's see how we look!"

The three of us struck a pose in front of the mirror, and found we looked like two awesome beach beauties... and one hot babe who looked like a nerd in granny glasses. With a heavy sigh, I realized this was never going to work.

"Awww, don't lose hope Daffey!" Sapphire encouraged me. "Just lose the glasses, and you'll be fine!"

"A-are you sure, girls?" I ask, taking off my spectacles, and leaving them on the counter. "I-I really can't see anything without those things."

"You'll be fine, Daffey, don't worry." Beach Belle tossed her mane, and held her head high. "Look out, boys! These three beach beauties are gonna rock your world!"

She trotted out the door, immediately followed by Sapphire Shores. I tried to emulate their walk, only to smack my face into the closing door my blurry vision hadn't seen.

"Ouch!"

I'll continue my story about what happened next later, dear diary, but right now I'm hungry and need to go get some lunch. Bye bye! ^^

Beach Rescue

Hi again, Diary! Just got back from lunch! Wow, that sweet strawberry cake of Sweetberry's was so yummy! Now, where was I? Oh yeah, that's right!

After two hours under hot lights and at the makeup tables, the three of us had undergone a transformation that had made us look like totally different ponies. There we were... Beach Belle was all decked out in a blue polka dotted bikini, Sapphire Shores in her purple one piece with ruffles at her flanks, and my white bikini with (what else?) a daisy print pattern all over it. Our manes shined with the glow of the conditioners I had used, and our lips glittered with the sparkle of Beach Belle's lip gloss. Personally diary, I thought we were really pretty, but I really didn't believe we'd get the boys' attention. But my two friends kept insisting I was just being a downer.

"Awww, don't be so negative, Daffey!" Beach Belle snorted at me, trying to get me to mellow out and stop worrying. "We'll have those stallions eating right out of our hooves!"

So after our really big makeovers, the three of us trotted our way down to the beach. Three of the stallions were all surrounding Sunny Daze, each trying to take turns fanning her with big palm leaves, or bring her something tasty to drink. Ready to rock the beach mare's world, Sapphire Shores finally spoke up.

"Hello there, boys!" the flirty mare called out teasingly, waving a hoof at the stallions. "Wanna spend some time with some real mares?"

Personally, I thought this wasn't going to work, diary. I thought they would give us some odd looks, then go back to worshipping the ground their mistress trotted upon. But when those boys took one look at us, they suddenly forgot all about the resident beach babe, and came galloping over to where we stood.

"Hey hey hey there, little fillies!" Seaspray, a blue stallion with a purple mane and starfish cutie mark, greeted us. "Looks like you could use some company over here!"

"Want us to get you anything, girls?" Bay Breeze, a white pony with a sunflower on his flank, and the most gorgeous sea of yellow and blue hair I've ever seen on his head, continued. "Maybe some lemoade? Or how about some ice cream?"

"How come we've never seen you babes here before?" Beachcomber, the all studly stallion who was all pink, joked. "You hotties new to Ponyville?"

Before we knew it, the three guys had spread a large beach blanket, and stuck a large umbrella in the sand to shade us from the sunshine. The three of us soon found ourselves enjoying the company of the three cutest boys on the beach, laughing and flirting with our new 'friends'.

"So... Beachcomber, is it?" Sapphire Shores asked, as she and the stallion both licked the ice cream cone he had brought her. "I hear you're a lifeguard at Ponyville lake, that's so cool!"

"Yep, if there's some pony that is going under, I'm your stallion!" The boy told her with a laugh. "Ever since I was a foal, I've taken to water like a seapony!"

"Ohhh, you have such strong hooves, Bay Breeze!" Beach Belle sighed, as the stallion massaged her back. "I've never felt you so relaxed!"

"Eh, I know a thing or two about a pony's muscles." He replied with a grin. "I am the lake's best swimming instructor, after all."

"Gee Seaspray, It's so awesome you and your friends decided to hang out with us." I told the stallion sitting beside me, trying to act cool.

"Hey, we always like makin' new friends on the beach." He replied, smiling. "There are so many interesting ponies out here, am I right?"

He was so awesome, diary! I felt like a fool trying to talk to him, though. And let me tell you, my impaired vision certainly wasn't doing any favors. When I reached for my lemonade sitting nearby, I ended up feeling a sharp pain in my hoof. After I had shook the crab that had pinched me loose, I bumped my head into the umbrella, knocking it over. Ohhh, curse me not having my glasses on me! I felt like a clumsy newborn foal stumbling around in the dark. But at least Seaspray is was still being nice to me... shows how cool of a stallion he really is!

But even as the three of us were enjoying ourselves, I just happened to notice another mare sitting nearby, who didn't look so happy. Sunny was relaxing under her own beach blanket, an uncertain look on her face. She had rarely not been the center of attention on the beach, diary, and I really don't think she quite knew how to handle it. Part of her wanted to came over and say something to us, but she kept stopping herself, I think cause she didn't want to hurt her friends' feelings.

Sunny picked up one of the magazines I had dropped on the beach, and sat there pretending to read it. She would occasionally glance over at us, and it seemed to me that each glance looked a little sadder than the last. Suddenly, this whole idea of 'snagging' the guys from Sunny didn't seem so much fun anymore, and I just wanted to go over and apologize. But when I tried to stand up, I took two steps before stumbling over my own hooves, and fell face first into the sand.

"Daffey, you ok?" Seaspray asked, helping me back up.

"Yes, I'll be fine, thank you." I replied nervously, blushing in my embarrassment. Ohhh, why couldn't I have worn my glasses out today?

"Hey girls, I got an idea!" Bechcomber suddenly sprang up, trotting over to his surfboard. "Why don't we take you out on our boards, and show you some fun in the sun?"

"Hey, that sounds totally awesome!" Beach Belle agreed, following Bay over to his board. "You guys to totally teach us how to surf!"

"Hang on a sec, I'll be right with you guys." Galloping away from Seaspray for a moment, I ran up to where Miss Daze lay. "Hey Sunny want to join us out on the waves? You could show those guys your stuff!"

"Huh? Oh no, you go ahead and enjoy yourselves, Daffs." She told me, burying her face in her magazine. "I'd just probably get in those dudes' way."

"Oh, okay Sunny." I reply with a sigh, trotting back over to where the guys were getting ready to push out into the water. Soon, we were out on lake Ponyville, paddling with our hooves, and waiting for a wave to come up.

"Look out, everybody!" Bay Breeze suddenly warned. "Here comes a big one!"

And boy diary, he wasn't kidding! That doozy of a wave came up out of nowhere, and soon our boards were cresting the top of it. It kind of felt like flying, diary, with my arms outstretched, and Seaspray's big strong hooves holding me in place. It was times like this I envied the Pegasus, for being able to do things like this where there are no waves around.

"Whoo hoo!" Beach Belle called out, as Bay breeze held her aloft on his board. "I'm the queen of the world!"

"Hey Daffey!" Shappire yelled over to me from Beachcomber's board. "Betcha can't do this!"

The mare did a handstand on her stallion friend's hoof, showing off as he zigzagged across the waves. Seaspray suddenly motioned for me to do the same, and I wasn't so sure it was a good idea.

"Spray, wait a second." I protested, just trying to keep my balance. "I'm not so sure-"

"C'mon babe!" He assured me, as he picked me up. "It'll be fun, trust me!"

Before I could say another word, he had me lifted up over his head. Oh diary, why do all stallions have to be so pig-headed and stubborn? Needless to say, this blind-as-a-bat mare lost her balance up there, and I fell into the wave itself with a loud splash. "Daffey!" I head several voices at once call out, as I sank beneath the roaring waves.

Now diary, you know as well as I do that I learned how to swim as a foal. But a combination of the really strong tides- combined with my panic at being able to see even less in that dark and murky water- led me to panic and flail around like a panicked newborn, as the waves continued to toss me around like Scootaloo during a game of dodge ball. I thought it was all over, when a white hoof suddenly picked me up, and placed me on a surfboard.

"Gotcha, Daffs!" Sunny groaned, as she helped me up to my hooves. "You need to be more careful out there!"

"Sunny?" I ask, coughing and sputtering out water. "T-thanks, girlfriend. I owe ya one."

It only took a few minutes for us to ride that wave back to shore, and the others crowded in to see if we were alright.

"Daffey, you ok?" Beach Belle asked, her hooves on her cheeks in surprise. "I thought for sure you were gonna drown out there!"

"Glad ya made it back, Daff! You're looking as awesome as ever!" Sapphire giggled, trying to lighten the mood now that she saw I was okay. "Can't say the same for your hairdo, though."

Seaspray was especially the most concerned... with the way my dear friend had saved me, that is. After making sure I was all right, he trotted right past me, and went over to Sunny like I wasn't even there.

"Hey, babe. You were so totally awesome out there!" The featherbrained stallion slicked his mane back, as he trotted up to Sunny. "Wanna go grab a soda at Cotton Candy's sometime?"

"Dude, that would be so totally awesome!" Sunny giggled, brushing her own hoof through her mane. "You're buying though, dude! My rule is 'the hottie always picks up the tab!"

The two stood there, flirting and laughing as I coughed and sputtered in the background. My beautiful mane job was now a seaweed-infested mess, and my running makeup made me look like something that had walked out of a Halloween movie. With a sigh, I realized I was probably as attractive as a goblin right now.

"Hey Daffs, we're all heading over to the cafe right now." Sapphire told me, as the others began trotting away. "Ya wanna come with?"

"Nah, I'm a little tired out after all that." I replied with a sigh. "You guys go ahead, I think I'm gonna go home."

As the others all galloped away down the beach, I'm left to collect my stuff up. Well diary, I suppose this is exactly what I get for trying to outshine the great Sunny Daze. Still, in the limelight has always been our dear friend's place, and I guess we Ponyville ponies wouldn't have it any other way. Even if she is little miss popular, she always does mean well. Besides, if it weren't for her, I probably would have been swept out with the tide.

Well diary, I just got done packing my things up, and pulling the seaweed out of my hair. As I told the others, I'm very tired, and it's time to head for home. I will say though, I am glad I was able to help two of my friends... even if my day off was all washed up.

But still, a crab hanging off my tail, sand in my Bikini bottom... diary, next day off, I am so going to the park.

Fiesta Time!

Fiesta Time!

Well diary, today started off a a calm and peaceful day, but like all calm and peaceful days in Ponyville, that came to a quick end with the arrival of a melodius caphcony, that threw everything into an organized chaos. I swear, I have never heard such an aful, awful din in all of my life! I just can't believe that...

Sorry. I really need to organize my thoughts right now. Let me start again...

Snippy, Amberlocks, and I were cleaning up the shop after our latest Minty rampage, when a farmiliar yellow mare with a red mane came through the door. Dressed in a mantilla veil and black flamenco dress, I figured out right away that she must be planning something special.

"Como estas, senioritas!" The enthusiastic mare yelled at the top of her lungs, blowing my poor eardrums out. "I've come here to get a mane cut, an I'd be muy gusta if you could give me a few extra bows and ribbions, por favor."

Fiesta Flar... one of the most energetic mares in Ponyville, she is also one of the town's favorite musical performers. She can often act impulsively, and most of her problems come from not thinking before she acts. Still, even I had to admit there is never a dull moment with this pony around.

"Ohhhhh- kaaaaayyyy... hello Fiesta, nice to see you again" I replied with a sigh, uncertain I was even understanding with she was saying correctly. "Why don't you come over here and have a seat, and we'll see if we can give you a nice mane trim?"

"Ohhhh, si!" She nodded her head vigourously. "After how hectic this week has ben, I could go for some mucho pampering!"

I looked back at my assitant. "Amberlocks, see if you can get the Twist n' Twirl machine working. Snippy, get me the coconut-scented shampoo."

"On it, boss." My assistant declared, trotting over to the machine that hadn't run since the Rainbow Dash-zaster.

"Got it!" The breezie saluted, and zipped overto go through the shelves.

"Right this way, Fiesta!" I motioned her over to the beauticain's chair, and she came over and sat down. "So, preparing to perform for a party of some kind?"

"Oh, Si!" She replied excitedly, as I leaned her head back over the bowl. "Today, we gonna go an' play for birthday fiesta in Unicornia. I'm just waiting for the rest of my band to get here!"

"Wow, you're going to be playing for a birthday party?" Amberlock asked curiously, handing me the shampoo. "I remember whn you played for Pinkie Pie's birthday, and it was really great!"

"Yeah, I would invite you girls..." Fiesta replied, as I remove her mantilla. "...but the unicorns might get mad."

Pushing her head back into the sink, I lather and rinse her long silky locks. This pony's mane is smooth and exotic, it reminds me of a warm blanket in the summertime. If she comes it right after luch or dinner, I can pick up the warm smell of freshly cooked tacos lingering in her mane. This mare has a... 'spicy' beauty, for lack of a better term- that reminds one of the zesty bite of salsa in everything she does.

"So, your band's coming in here?" Snippy asked, as I pulled her head out of the sink, and dried her mane out. "They gonna be here to get thier manes cut, too?"

"Nah, they're not here for a buncha mane cuts," She smiled a big, goofy grin, as I started cutting her crimsion locks. "dey're commin' here to practice!"

"Wait a sec," My ears perked up in surprise "they're going to practice here?"

Before she even had a chance to respond. we heard an explosion of noise come blasting in from outside the shop. Suddely, three mares- a blue one with a harp, a pink mare with a trumpet, and a blue mare holding a bajo- all came trotting in on thier back hooves, standing upright and playing thier insturments. Amberlocks and Snippy stood up, and clapped thier hooves to the beat.

"Get down, little ponies!" Bee Bop exclaimed, strumming her harp. "Can you dig the beat?"

"Let's rock this joint!" Banjo Blue cried, whipping her mane around. "Can ya feet the rythym?"

"I feel the music, girls!" Jazz Matazz agreed, blowing away on her horn. "Let's give these ponies something ta dance to!"

The whole shop vibrated with thier music, and so did my poor eardrums. I combed and clipped away at Fiesta's mane, even as the pain made me want to grab my head with my hooves in pain. The loud music makes the windows of my shop vibrate and rattle, and finally many of them shatter with a loud CRASH! As I curled up her locks and finished my work, I said a silent prayer of thanks that it was finally over.

"Here seniorita, give me a mirror." I complied, handing over the only looking glass that didn't break with hr band's little performance. "Wow, you made me look incredible!" She smiled at me with a huge grin. "Muchas Gracias, Daffey! You really outdidyourself this time!"

"Glad to be of help, Fiesta." I reply, as a crack slowly formed along one of the lenses on my glasses. "I hope you and your girls have fun at the party."

"No problemo! I'll be sure to reccomend your services as a beautician to my way secret client." She bowed, and made her way back out the door. "Adios, mi amgias! See you again for my next beauty appointment!"

And as the four mares galloped out of my shop, the door slammed behind them. At that moment, the cracked lenses in my spectacles finally crumbled out of the frames.

"Oh dear." I said with a sigh. "Why does that mare's departure always make me go to pieces?"

A picture is Worth a thousand cuts!

A picture is Worth a thousand cuts!

Oh, Diary! Why oh why do my fellow ponies seek to drive my out of my mind? I can't believe what happened today, and in a few minutes... neither will you!

Today, I had been called over to Perfect Portraits art studio, on a home appointment to cut a mare's mane. I was trotting my way across Ponyville, and was just passing by Pinkie Pie's house, when I saw a dust cloud speed towards me. A pair of headlights reflected off the lenses of my glasses, and the speeding obect was on top of be before I even had time to blink.

"YEAHHHHHHHH!" I screamed in a panic, leaping clean off the road, and grabbing onto the lamp post above me. The roaring cloud of dust- which I could now see was a motorized yellow scooter- came to a stop a few feet away, and the orange earth pony that had been driving it started up at me in annoyance.

"Hey! Watch where you're going, grandma!" The pink and purple maned mare yelled up at me, pulling her goggles off with her hooves. "Your dead weight could've dented my bike!"

"Argh! Blast it, Scootaloo!" I yell down in anger, sliding down the pole to face her. "You could’ve hurt somebody barreling around in that-that thing of yours!"

Ohhh, that Scootaloo! The most obnoxious mare in Ponyville, she's kind of the land equivalent to sporty Sunny Daze. The only difference is how much of a pain in the flank she can be. The only thing that is even bigger than the dust cloud that motorized monster of hers kicks up, is her over inflated, self important ego. She is the only pony in this town who is actually capable of making another pony actually mad.

"Jeez, lighten up, old lady!" The cocky mare snapped at me, tossing that rat's nest she calls a mane around. "I never woulda really hit ya, I'm to good a rider for that!"

"Now you see here, you little troublemaker! One of these days, you're going to run over somebody with that mechanized monstrosity!" I snapped, shaking a hoof at her. "You used to be so sweet when you were little, back when you idolized Rainbow Dash! Why can't you be more like her now?"

"Me? More like that frilly piece of fluff?" Scoots almost fell off her seat, laughing. "Please, maybe I thought being a frilly froo was cool as a little girl. But there's no way in the world a pony named Scootaloo, would  ever idolize a pony named Rainbow Dash!" She revved her bike up. "Now, while I'd love to sit around here and listen to your arteries harden, I've got places to go and ponies to see!"

The annoying mare took off with a blast of smog, leaving me coughing and gagging.

"Ugh! Ack! Someone should teach that mare some manners!" Dusting the soot out of my mane, I picked up the beauty kit I had dropped by the handle, and continued on my way.

Finally arriving at my destination, I found myself in front of a purple house covered in paint splatters of red, green, and blue. Walking up to the oddly shaped door, the only response to my hoof knock was a 'come in' from within the structure. Upon opening the door, my eyes were greeted with the most bizarre sight I had ever seen.

Diary, her house looked like a rainbow threw up in it! Yellow wallpaper, green furniture, orange ceiling... this place looked like a decorator's nightmare! In the center of the chaos, a pink mare with a cyan mane and a white-coated stallion sat before two easels. Both were covered in paint splotches, and I don't even want to think about what all that dripping goo was doing to their manes.

"Hey, Daffey! So glad you could make it!" Toola Roola greeted me, not evening looking up from her easel. "I was hoping you could cut my mane here, so I didn't have to take time away from my masterpiece!"

"You want me to cut your hair here?" I asked in disgust, looking around in the disaster area I had to work in. "Well, I suppose I could set up in the kitchen-"

"Actually, if you could just set up in here,"  Finger Paints, Toola's scatterbrained hubby with a rainbow mane, informed me. "That way,

she won't have to get pulled away from her painting."

"You.. you want me to cut her mane... while she's painting?"   My eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. "Are you two out of your minds!?"

"Great art waits for no one, not even pointless actions like grooming." Toola told me, blowing a stray strand of hair out of her face. "It would mean a great deal to me if you could complete my mane while I continued working."

Good grief diary...  I think being around all these paint fumes, has affected these two poor pony's heads! Nevertheless, I sat down and got about my work, taking my shears and razors out of my box. There I sat, cutting and trimming and snipping away, while Toola threw bucket after bucket of different colors on the blank canvas with her brush strokes. I think a five year old could've produced a better 'masterpiece'. Still, everything was going well, when an unexpected third party intervened in my work.

"Hiya Toola, thought I'd stop by and surprise ya!" Minty yelled, bursting through the door unexpectedly. "I'm here to pick up that painting you.. made ... me?"

Everything happened at once, as is usual with this unlucky mare's antics. Minty's opening the door and startling Finger, Finger jumping and sending a green can of paint flying, and said flying can landing on my head.

SPLAT "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

I ran around the room. screaming and running into things. I slammed into both of the easels and sent the paintings and paint flying in every direction.

"Egads! Our art!" Finger screamed.

"It's ruined!" Toola yelled.

Personally, I think their art looked  better after Minty's foul up... but nevertheless, that mare had once again caused a monumental disaster. I can only imagine how it must've looked to the neighbors, when a stallion and two angry mares -one with a sea green mane- chased a terrified Minty out the door, and halfway around Ponyville. Now, my only concern is how the hay I'm going to get this lead-filled glop out of my mane.

And how sweet revenge is going to be on a certain goofy green pony.

Mess-up Minty

Mess-up Minty

Okay, okay... look, I know I shouldn't be writing here- I mean, this is Daffey's private Diary, and I really shouldn't have even been in here looking around for the thing. Well, I wasn't here exactly to look for the diary, I was actually looking for Daffey to apologize, but she wasn't here, soooo....

Wait, I haven't introduced myself yet, huh? That's really important, 'cause you should always know who you are talking to, heh. My name's Minty, and I'm a pony that loves everything green! I have a whole lotta friends in Ponyville, Mister Diary, but- wait, are you a mister or a missus? I don't even really know! Anyway, my friends here in Ponyville really care an awful lot about me. But I have a way of messing stuff up for them, no matter how hard I try to do stuff right.

Take that little filly, Scootaloo. Nobody knew where she had come from when she first came to Ponyville (we later learned she was Cheerilee's sister who ran away from unicornia, but she never told us that), but we felt sorry for the little orphaned filly, and  gave her a house to live in in town, but she still kinda kept to herself. Then one day rainbow Dash gave her a pretty dress.

"Here you go Darling." She said "You'd look lovely in this!"

So she gave her the pretty blue dress, with all the pretty bows and satins and ribbons and stuff , and Scootaloo was all like;

"T-thank you, no one's ever given me a gift before! Thank you!"

So Scoots started follow Dashie around, and dressed up like her, and even started going 'darling' like Rainbow Dash does. The two honestly seemed like sisters, it was soooo cute seeing Scoots helping her and Sew and So (you know her diary, the orange pony with the button cutie mark that makes all the clothes Dash sells, right?)  make all those pretty gowns and dresses for the princess promenade together, and Scoots was always copying Dashie's hairstyle and outfit.

"When I's get big, I'm gonna be just like Rainbow Dash!" She'd say.

"I'm sure you'll be the best fashionesta ever, Scoots!" Sew would tell her. "Just be sure to give it your all!"

Scoots was always looking to get a fashion cutie mark, and kept trying to make better and better dresses. But her flak always stayed blank, no matter how much she stitched, sewed, and cut fabric.

"I just don't get it!" The little filly would always say. "Why can't I get my dressmaker mark?"

"Don't worry about it, Scootaloo." Sew would reassure her. "You're mark will come when it's time."

"And when you do finally get that mark darling," Dashie would tell her. "It'll be simply Dashing!"

Well diary, I screwed that up, big time. Just like I screw up everything in Ponyville. Dash and Sew had just finished thier fall fashions line of dresses, and had left the shop to Scoots to close up for the night. She let me in to take an early look at the dresses- I wanted to buy a green one as soon as they went on sale, of course- And I was admiring all of the hard work the three ponies had put into this seasons fashion lineup. And I just had to stick my two bits into things.

"You know what would make these dresses really pretty?" I told her. "If they all had green highlights!"

"Minty, wait!" She yelled, as I went to get the bottle of green dye. "That's really not a good idea!"

But being Minty, I just couldn't listen. Walking forward with the open bottle of dye, I tripped over my own hooves, and sent the green gunk flying with a loud SPLAT!

"Oh no!" Scoots cried. "All the clothes are ruined!"

Just as she had said, the pretty dresses were all covered in a lot of yucky green gunk. I tried to explain to Dashie and Sew what had happened, but they were too furious to even listen to me!

"Don't try covering for her, Mints!" Sew yelled at us, making my ears hurt. "She knew how important those dresses were to us!"

"I'm so terribly disappointed in you, Darling!" I can still hear Dashie saying calmly but angrily. "You should have known better than to let Minty near the fall lineup!"

And that's when scoots tore up everything even resembling her idol, and stared to run away, really really fast. She found a motor scooter could help her run even faster than she could on her own, and that's how she discovered her special talent. But she and Dashie are still too proud to apologize to each other, and I messed up thier friendship and it's all my fault...

Why do I always screw up everything, diary? Why do I mess up and break and smash and destroy anything my friends care about?  I know they all hate me for all the damage I cause all the time, and they just put up with me to be nice. Sure, Pinkie Pie is still my best friend and all, but if it weren't for her the others would probably just wanna leave me out somewhere for the timberwolves to eat. I don't blame them. Ponyville would be better off without me, and so would all of my friends.

I'm sorry, Daffey. I'm sorry I messed up your beauty salon again and again. I'm sorry I hurt you and Kimono and Toola and everybody else. I'll put myself far far away where I can't mess anybody's lives up anymore. Pinkie told me you had gone to do some kind of job in Unicornia. Well, by the time you get back, there won't be a Minty to mess stuff up around here anymore.

Goodbye, Daffedazey, tell everybody I'll miss them. Make sure Pinkie Pie gets my sock collection, and tell Dash and Scoots that they need to make friends again, before it's too late.

Please, miss Diary... please tell Daffey all that.

Oh, and tell her I'm sorry I broke her spare pair of granny glasses while taking you out of the drawer.

I'm so sorry...

The Road to Unicornia

The Road to Unicornia

(Note to self- write thoughts down on spare paper, tuck into diary when you get home- oooh ponyfeathers! How could I have forgotten that book?)

Diary, you are SOOOOOOO not going to believe this! Not in a million years! Can you guess what happened? No? Well, I've been invited to come and cut a royal mane at the Rainbow Crystal Castle in Unicornia! Eeeeeeee!  Can you believe it! This is SUCH a dream come true! Rainbow Dash told me all about the place from when she visited, but to actually get to go myself... ohhhhh, diary! This is so wonderful!

Now mind you, nobody has actually told me exactly who's mane I'm going to cut, but I'm sure it's a V.I.P.- A very important pony! So, I packed up all my cutting supplies, and now I am on my way!

The road to Uunicornia is a pleasant trot (shame I couldn't take the crystal carriage, but the unicorns etting the wheels fixed at the time), with so many pretty flowers. Marigolds, tulips- oh, and of course, the daffodils!  The road to the Rainbow Crystal castle goes through Breezy Blossom, and the Breezies keep such wonderful gardens here. Ohhh, Wysteria would have been soooo jealous of all the poesies and petals I saw! And it was long before the breezies flittered out to greet me.

"Hey, Daffey? What's up?"

"Daffey! Hi how ya doing?"

Oh Diary, they are the cutest little things in all of Ponyville! Their cute little pony bodies, those tiny bug wings! They remind my of adorable little bumblebees, buzzing around through the flower bulbs! The Breezies say long ago, we used ponies used to keep them trapped in a special place to keep them safe from other creatures. But I don't see how any pony could trap anything so adorable anywhere! But the Breezies weren't the most wonderful surprise I got here on the road to unicornia, oh no! That came just mere minutes later, catching me totally off guard.

Oh Diary, they are they're the cutest little things in all of Ponyville! Their cute little pony bodies, those tiny bug wings! They remind me  of adorable little bumblebees, buzzing around through the flowers ! The Breezies say long ago, we used ponies used to keep them trapped in a special place to keep them safe from other creatures. But I don't see how any pony could trap anything so adorable anywhere! But the Breezies weren't the most wonderful surprise I got here on the road to unicornia, oh no! That came just mere minutes later, catching me totally off guard.

"They are lovely little creatures, are they not? Though not as lovely as the mare before me."

"Ohhhh-ohhhhhh!" I fell over in shock, diary...  it was so embarrassing! But when the source of that deep, masculine voice bent down to help me up. Oh, diary....  those gorgeous eyes, that long aqua mane, and that flank- that wonderful pink and heavenly tight flank! He stood there in front of me, and I was struck stupid by his magnificence.

"I'm sso terribly sorry, miss." The angelic vision of a unicorn spoke to me,  brushing me  off with his hoof. "Are you quite all right?"

"I-I-I-I-I-" My voice stumbled, trying to form a coherent sentence. "Hi, I'm Dazeydaffey! Meet you to nice it is!"

"Well, that's quite an interesting greeting." He replied with a chuckle, extending a hoof. "And I am Sir Sunrise Song, stallion knight to the royal unicorn court."

A knight... dearest diary, I was talking to a royal knight!  I though I was going to melt into a puddle when he kissed my hoof, and I barely noticed when a familiar pink unicorn came trotting around the stallion.

"Hey, Daffey! Good to see you again!" I barely hear, as my complete attention is held by the hypnotic eyes gazing into mine. "Yoo hoo, Daffey... you in there?"

The filly's prodding  pulled me back to my senses, and I noticed a familiar pony. "Oh, Princess Rarity, what're you doing out here?"

"Well golly, Sir Sunrise offered to escort me out here to see the my friends, the breezies... Cheerilee and all the other mares were to busy, you know. So Sun here agreed to accompany me!"  She told us, that overly cute smile  beaming on her face. "Ohhh, is that your beauty bag on your saddle? Can I look through it, pleeeeeeease?"

Such an adorable little filly.... I can see why the unicorn mares have such a hard time resisting her requests..

"How very thoughtful of him. And of course you can look though my bag" I told her with a smile, looking back up at the stallion. "I'm on my way to Unicornia myself. Would you two, um, mind if I went back with you... maybe?"

"We would be happy to have the company, Miss Dazey." He told me with a smile. "We would be more than happy to escort you to the castle.“ And so there we stood, that gorgeous hunk of a stallion and I, gossiping with the breezies, while Rarity dug around through my shampoos and conditioners.

Sweet Little Princess Rarity... though she's not always a princess, diary. It only during this time of year, at the rainbow ceremony, that she assumes her title and royal responsibilities. It is their custom for their to be a series of unicorn princesses who each reign for a particular time during a festival period of the calendar- like princess Lily Lightly, the princess of the light festival. These princesses are selected from the young crop of fillies every generation. and preside over their respective ceremonies.

Oh, but there is an actual unicorn royal family, of course... but no one's ever seen them, because the unicorns won't let anyone near them. I wonder if that's who's manes I've been called to cut?

I was so busy wrapped up in my conversation with Sir Sun, that I failed to notice Rarity pull out my bottle of insta-grow hair tonic. While this stuff makes an earth pony's mane grow at twice the normal rate, I had no idea what it's effects on a unicorn mare would be. Sadly, I was about to find out.

"Hey, what is this pretty stuff?" Rarity asked, dumping the bottle of glittery goo in her mane. "It looks really pretty!"

"Rarity, no!" I plead, racing over to her. "DON'T!"

But it was to late, diary. Within seconds, that mane of hers began to grow...

...and grow...

...and grow...

...and grow.

"Good heavens!" Sir Sun exclaimed.

"Oh dear..." I wailed, shaking my mane.

"Hey, what's going on!" The filly pleaded, and her small form disappeared into the messy tangles of hair. "Sun! Daffey! HELP ME!"

It was with much embarrassment, diary, that this  dedicated stallion and I ended up rolling a tangled ball of mane all the way back to Unicornia. An annoying filly's voice entertaining us all the way.

"It wasn't my fault that stuff made my mane grow! Daffeydazey should've told me that'd happen!"

Unicornia's Dark Secret...

Unicornia's Dark Secret...

Entry one:

Wow, temp Diary, this is so amazing! Rainbow Dash had told me how large an beautiful the Rainbow Crystal castle was, but this... this is simply amazing! A large pink dome, towering pink turrets with pink spires on top of them. And that's just on the outside! I had heard the unicorns lived in magnificent speldour. But this... this is incredible! No wonder Rainbow Dash  and Pinkie Pie were so taken by the unicorns when we made first contact last year! I 've been meaning to make the trip here for some time, diary, and I can really say it was very much worth the wait!

When we arrived back in Unicornia, Whistle Wishes and Bright Brightly came out to greet us. With a sigh, the two rolled the giant Rarity ball of hair away with cries of "Yay! Rolling like that was fun! Let's do that again!" eminating from Rarity. After that problem had been solved, Sir Sun then started showing me around the town, It was all so wonderful, all those Brightly Painted houses!  Why, I could've sworn one of  them even looked like my own Petal Parlour! But the biggest surprise came over the great bridge, when we crossed over into the castle!

"You will not believe how amazing this place is, Miss Daffeydazey." The unicorn told me, as we trotted down the main hallway. "I'm certain our glorius Unicornian culture will simply take your breath away!"

And boy, was he right!  Echoing chambers that carry your voice, fancy bedrooms with curtains and sheets made of satin and silk... oh, living here would be a dream come true, diary! I turn and ask Sunrise if Princess Rarity lives here, among all of this splendour.

"Only during her part of the year as Princess." He tells me, a simle on his face. "The rest of the time, she dwells with her family in the town. Princess Lilly Lightly will taking her shift in the castle in the few weeks, to see the fall celebration of lights in."

He takes me into the grand ballroom, and my breath is taken away! The sunlight filters down from the satin glass windows in the great dome above, creating a calliope of colors all around the room. But as dazzled as I am by all the glamour that surrounds me, I remeber that I was brought here to do a job, diary, and it was time to inquire about it here and now.

"Excuse me, Sir Sun?" I enquire, trying not to get lost in his dreamy gaze. "C-could you please tell me whose mane I've been brought here to cut?"

"Certainly, Miss Dazey." He replies, his eyes melting me into a pile of putty on the floor. "You have been brought here to do the manes of Queen Crowning Glory, and here royal handmaidens, Royal Beauty and Pretty Palace."

Aha! Just as I thought!  I'm here to cut the manes of the REAL unicorn royal family! But why all the secretiveness? And how do I properly cut a unicorn's mane? I certainly wont be using  any of the conditioner that turned Rarity into manezilla! But as I set up shop and unload my suppies in the grand ballroom, I begin to wonder exactly what I've gotten myself into...

Entry 2:

Oh...

Oh my...

So that's why they wanted me to keep my work a secret.

As I am writing this, I have just finished cutting the mane of Crowning Glory, the white mare with a lovely white and purple striped mane. I had previously cut the mane of a yellow mare with a pink mane, her hand maiden Pretty Palace, and afterwards I will style Royal Beauty's blonds mane, making the lovely purple pony even prettier by brining out her true beauty.

As I suspected, the Queen and her ladies are the most beautiful and talented ponies in all of Unicornia. As I thought, they are the most elegant and courteous mares among all the unicorns and their soft, silky manes are some of the finest work I've ever done in the history of my career. There is just one thing I did not expect, one factor which had never occured to me before, and now seems to be the reason the Unicorns keep the royal monarch and her ladies a secret.

Because you see... her majesty and her ladies are not unicorns at all.

They are, in fact... earth ponies.

Yes diary, I was just as shocked as you are! But apprently, unicornia is actually ruled by a line of ponies who can work no magic. That's right, the great makers of all the Ponyville region's rainbows, the mystical spellcaters whom all of the Pegasus and earth ponies look to with awe, are all subjects of the most ordinary sort of pony.

Sunrise Song has, of course, sworn me to secrecy on this matter. But I don't see why Cheerilee and the rest of the royal court are so ashamed. I mean, what's so wrong with the fact the royal family is earth ponies? I actually got a laugh when Whistle Wishes told me they mistook the first Ponyville ponies they ever met for being royalty when our two cultures first met, I imagine the discovery of a bunch of hornless ponies must've been quite shock to them! But still, there's nothing embarrassing about being an earth pony.

Believe me, I should know.

Well diary, I've been invited to the Rainbow celebration at the castle this year, and I can't wait for the party tomorrow.  There will be a parade, a grand gala in the ballroom under the great dome, and what Royal Beauty has told me will be the gratest feast Unicornia has ever seen! I'm so happy I've been invited to the party, diary, and even happier since Sunrise is going to be there! But I can't help but feel a little sad that all of my friends back home won't be able to attend, and it's also a shame that I'm going to miss Rainbow Dash's woderful rainbow clelebration this year. Ohhh, how I'm going to miss eating one of Sweetberry's rainbow cakes!

Speaking of home, I wonder how all of my firends are doing back in Ponyville? I'm sure amberlocks is running the shop well, and Pinkie Pie's keeping that crazy collection of mares under control. I hope Kimono found a new charm bracelet, and Fiesta Flair's band is ready to play for the celebration this year!

I just hope Minty isn't messing things up again...

Dirty Business

Dirty Business

Oh Diary, it's terrible! Do you know what that stupid machine-!

Okay, deep breaths, deeeep breaths...

Well, diary... they found her. It was Thistle Whistle, who was scouting the roads that lead to unicornia, that stumbled upon our little lost mare. Laying under a bridge; cold, wet and shivering. After they brought her back and cleaned her up, Wysteria, Pinkie Pie, and Kimono took her inside the back room of Celebration Castle, and have been talking to her for hours. As I went about my work in the petal parlour cutting mare's manes, all day I could hear the loud voices coming out of the palace.

Diary, I am actually... a little scared. I've never heard Pinkie Pie's voice scream like that before- she sounds so angry! I don't think I've ever  heard a Ponyville pony that upset before, not even when Minty broke the one-of-a-kind-here-comes-Christmas-candy-cane last year. I can also hear Wisteria and Kimono's voices rise and fall. but it's nothing like what coming out of Pinkie's mouth, and I don't think I've ever heard her sound this upset, terrified and hurt before.

"YOU STUPID LITTLE FILLY, WHAT THE FLANK WERE YOU THINKING!?! YOU HAD US ALL WORRIED SICK! DIDN'T YOU EVEN CARE HOW MUCH WE-"

"Pinkie Pie, don't you think you might be being a bit harsh on her? This is Minty we're talking about here, she is known to make mistakes-"

"Don't let her off the hook like that, Kimono! We've been letting her foul up and mess up waaay too much! She can't just do something like this, and trot away like nothing happened!"

Over the sound of the other three ponies debating amongst themselves, I can here Minty's whimpering and crying, and I can't help but feel sorry for this poor pony. Why does the entire universe seem to dump all of it's bad luck on this jinxed mare? I can only wonder at this, as I try to ignore all the commotion, and go about my work.

Business is quite slow today, and I'm just sweeping up some split ends, while Amberlocks cuts the mane of a customer. Everything seems fairly boring today, until I hear the sound of the bell above my shop door jingle.

"Hey Daffeydazey!" A farmiliar blue mare declares, as she walks into my shop. "How's things going here with you?"

"Oh, Waterfire! Hello!" I greet the mare, inviting her over to a chair. "Please, come on in and have a seat!"

Waterfire, our towns resident pipes and waterworks expert. You can usually find her either at the Ponyville, waterworks, checking gauges and dials, or crawling through the tunnels and plumbing under people's homes. We simply wouldn't have running water in this town without her!

As the red-maned  mare with the burning water cutie mark trotted in to sit down, a... certain air accompanied her into my shop. The odious stench went everywhere, diary, smelling worse thasn spike did the day he first stepped inside the petal parlor.

"Whew! Girl! That is so rank!" Amberlocks exclaimed, plugging her nose with her hoof. "Where the hay you been, girl? crawlin around in a sewer?!?"

"Actually, that's exactly where I've been." The blue mare replied sheepishly, looking over all the black smudges and dark stains all over her coat. "It's kinda yucky and icky down there, and I was hoping you could help me get cleaned up?" She looked up at me pleadingly. "I kinda have a date with Anchors Away tongight, and I don't wnt to be smelling like a septic system."

Okay, diary? Ew.

I mean seriously, EW EW EW EW EW  EW EW EW EW EW  EW EW EW EW EW  EW EW EW EW EW EEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!

I don't care what special talent she has, or what she likes doing. No mare should ever subject herself to that kind of filth! Her beautiful mane all covered in brown grime, her lovely coat all covered in- in- I know what that brown and black gunk in her mane and coat are! GROSS! GROSS! GROSS! GROSS! GROSS! GROSS!

With apologies to Sunny Daze, Sparkleworks, and our other Ponyville tomboys; but Mares should be neat, clean, pretty, and doing girly things! Not desecrating the beautiful manes the horsemaster gave us as fillies by crawling through a sewer! Like Rainbow Dash always says, let the stallions do the dirty work! I have no problem washing mud or dust  or dirt from sports or gardening out of a mare's mane,  but I know what that black sludge is, and NO GIRL SHOULD BE CRAWLING THROUGH THAT!

Setting about my work, I quickly push the dirty mare into the shop's seashell- shaped tub. Pouring in every type of shampoo, conditioner, bath soap, and cleaner I have, and I go to work scrubbing and cleaning and washing away all of the filth on this... plumber mare. As the water turns first brown, and then black, I can feel my skin wanting to jump out of my coat, and crawl away.

"Oh dear, that was quite a mess!" I say nauseatingly, trying not to throw up. "Let's see what else we can do with this mane of yours!"

Draining the tub of all the slime, I give the mare a second rinsing, and dry her mane with a hair dryer.  Next is a trip over to the beautician’s chair, where I take a comb and brush to that matted jungle, and try to get out all the knots, tangles, and split ends.

"Ow! Hey!" Waterfire protested, as I yanked my comb through her tangled mane. "Watch where you're digging and pulling!"

"I'm trying! But it's such a mess!" I complain, throwing up my hooves in frustration. "I really wish you'd let me cut and work at this split end nightmare with some shears!"

"You know what this means, boss!" Amberlocks finally spoke up, having just finished cutting strawberry Reef's mane. "Time to bring in the heavy artillery!"

With a sigh, I nod my head, and motion for Waterfire to follow me over to the twist 'n style machine. Looking up at the machine nervously, she muttered;

"Are you sure about this thing?" She gulped, looking back at me pleadingly. "I don't exactly want to get thrown against the wall like Dashie was, you know."

"Oh, don't worry about it, the twist and Twirl has been fixed, and is running just fine!" Trotting over to the platform, I looked over to my  assistant. "Amberlocks, flip the switch!"

The two tubes of the twist and twirl pulled my mane up into the innards, and began to twist and twirl my mane up into all sorts of colorful braids. But suddenly, the machine began to yank and pull on my mane harder than it should have, to the point it was almost lifting me up off the floor by the roots of my hair!

"Ahhhh! Amberlocks!" I shrieked, as the thing pulled and yanked on my hair. "Stop this crazy thing!"

"I'm trying!" She wailed, pulling at all the switches and buttons. "But it won't work!"

Once again, the machine goes crazy, and it whizzes and sputters, before suddenly sending me airborne.

"Aieeeeeee!" CRASH!

I am sent flying into the shelves where I  keep all of my mane care products.  All sorts of dyes, shampoos, conditioners, and even that magic shampoo I got from unicornia ooze all over me, mixing and sinking into my mane and coat.

"AIEEEEEE!" I wailed, picking myself up from the mess of broken bottles and spilled liquids, and staring down at my now-multicolored coat. "I look like a mess!"

Needless to say, I quickly excused myself, and left Amberlocks finish Waterfire's mane. As so, here I sit, having just thoroughly washed  my own mane and coat, and now sitting  in a bathrobe and writing this entry. I still don't blame Minty for that broken twist-n-twirl machine, and I just hope that weird mixture of lotions and ,magical hair products doesn't do anything funny to my mane or coat.

Whoah, I feel tired so suddenly... excuse me diary, but I think I need to go and lay down...

Out of control!

Out of control!

Mmmmmmmm.... hello Diary, good to talk to  you again. I'm feeling much better today- really words cannot describe. I don't know what that crazy mix did to me, but whatever it did, I sure could use another dose of it! I feel like a whole new pony!

When I first woke up this morning, I first noticed  the changes that goop had worked on me. I was first shocked when I saw a long, flowing rainbow mane and tail which stretched down off my bed, and was now longer than my body. And as I stood up to admire my new hair, I then noticed my body had gone through some changes, as well. Long, curvy legs and flank, an actual flower booming on my cutie mark instead of just an image. As I noticed and admired my new physique in the mirror, I came to realize something that had not occurred to me before.

I was seeing my refection perfectly... even without my glasses on.

That weird concoction... it fixed everything about me.  No more stumbling around with blurry vision, no more clumsily going about my work in my shop. I was going to be a much cooler, more confident mare then I had been before. It's going to be a very different deal from here on out, diary, and I can guarantee that from what I've already experienced today!

After waking up and heading out into Ponyville, I noticed Scootaloo zooming towards me on her motor scooter. Coming to a stop right in front of me, she revved up her noisy machine and shot smoke from the exaust into my face.

"Hey granny Daffy! Shocked to see you out this early." The tomboy sneered at me. "I'm not annoying you or anything, right?"

"Actually, I was just here to see you on your way!" I snapped at her, kicking the throttle on her scooter and sending her zooming forward. "Have a nice trip, loser! See you next fall!"

"Aiieeeeeeee!" The poor mare wailed, as the scooter zoomed forward and crashed with it's bratty passenger into the mud. Oh jeez diary, you shoulda seen how funny that mare looked with her face covered in gunk!

After I finished laughing my flank off, I made my way to Cotton Candy's café, where a bunch of the other mares were already gathered. Ordering some rainbow juice from Cotton, I sat down to enjoy my drink. Unfortunately, the mare who trotted up to me ws determined to make an annoyance of herself.

"Hey Daffeydazey, good to see you, yes yes yes!" Razaroo greeted me, holding up her birthday book. "Wanna help me plan Puzzlemint's birthday party?"

"No I don't want to help you, oh no no!" I snorted  at her. "I've got better things to do with my time than help you put together another one of your pointless birthday surprises!"

"What! How can you say that?!?" Raz asked in shock, her jaw nearly hitting the floor. "My birthday celebrations aren't pointless!"

"Well they're certainly a waste of my time!" I snapped back, standing up. "But since you can't just let me sit here and enjoy my juice- here, you can have it!"

Picking up the juice up with my hoof, I throw the cup in her face, and leaving the surprised mare soaked before trotting out. That pathetic Razaroo, she's probably never had another pony yell at her before. Her brain probably broke at the mere thought of aggression from a friend.

Ohh, diary- I've finally got to do all the things I've been thinking of doing for a long time. I went from Pony to pony, telling them exactly what I thought of them and thier stupid hobbies!

"Rainbow Dash, Sew and Sew... you're dresses suck!"

"Fiesta Flair, your salsa music sounds like a dying cat! That stupid band of yours should disband!"

"You call that art Toola? I've seen foals who can color inside the lines better! That wall looks like a rainbow threw up all over it!"

Of course, all those little idiots started bawling like babies. Stupid brats, they're all so nice and sugary sweet, anybody can tell they're all so totally fake with their laughter and friendship and parties. I swear, I don't think they ever get mad at anything! Living in this girly pink nightmare of a town is enough to make a grown mare sick!

Later, as I was trotting my wa back towards my shop, I heard another pony trotting up behind me. Turning to face the pony standing there, I find Pinkie Pie behind me.

"Ummm, Daffey?" The pink mare asked me, her voice echoing her concern. "Are you all right? I heard from the other ponies that you were a little upset..."

"Upset? Nah, I actually feel great Pinks." I told her, a devilish smile on my face. "I finally told all those stupid, girly brats what I thought of them, and their stupid  and pointless lives!"

"You can't actually mean that Daffey!" She protested in shock, giving me a hurt look. "You've always been so nice and sweet and kind!"

"Then maybe you don't know don't know me as well as you think you do, you useless pink pile of-"

"DAFFEY, THAT IS ENOUGH!" Pinkie snapped, finally blowing her top. "Don't you even care about anyone else's feelings?!?"

But it's at that point I trot off, a smug smirk of victory on my face. I finally did it- I made one of these sugary sweet ponies crack through their sweet syrupy exteriors and actually get angry. Good. I was sick of living in this stupid filly fantasy where no one ever even gets upset... Ponyville needed to get real. And if my little temper tantrum is what was needed to get these ponies a wake-up call, well then they got exactly what they deserved!

Oh, diary, this is so exhilarating! I've never felt this- alive before! Look out world, Daffeydazey is outta here... and the  new Daffidazey is gonna rock ponyville's world!

Ohhh, that stallion I met over by ponyville lake earlier today is giving me the eye… gotta go diary, I think I’m gonna be up late tonight!

Regret

Regret

I feel so really, really auful right now!

Oh, dear diary.... what have I done!? All my friends, the ponies who cared about me, I said such mean and horrible things to them! That... that horrible junk, it changed me.... and I hurt all of them so much! How could I have lost so much control? How could I have been such a terrible pony? I still can't believe all the terrible things Pinkie Pie told me I did... and the worst part is, I don't even remember any of it!

When I first woke up this morning, I was shocked to find my mane had grown much longer, and my cutie mark had become... well, a real flower! Coming out of the side of my flank, just like it was growing there naturally! And as if that wasn't enough of a shock dear diary, I actually found myself taller than I had been before! So, I came to the conclusion that those chemicals had simply altered my physcial form, and left it at that.

But when I ventured out of my house and into Ponyville, I noticed all of the dark looks and nasty glares all my friends were giving me! No pony in town was even talking to me or even saying hello... I couldn't even figure out what was wrong! But then when I walked into Rainbow Dash's botique to pick up a new dress, I discovered things were about to get even more bizarre!

"Well, well, well, so you're here for a dress, darling? That's certainly a surprise!" Dashie snapped at me, stamping her hoof in anger. "Why would you possibly want something as terrible as my rags to adorn your nigh-prefect body?!"

I was struck speechless, not knowing what to say to something so harsh coming out of the mouth of a friend. But it was even more of a shock when I went to Cotton Candy's Cafe, and recieved a reception I really didn't expect.

"Oh Daffey, I didn't expect to see you in my place!" She growled at me. "Here, let me get you a cup of your favorite punch!"

She then proceeded to dump a cup of rainbow berry juice all over my head. Leaving that place in shock, I proceeded to go to the beach, where I was kicked off the dock and into the ocean by Sunny Daze, and visitng the Ponyville art studio saw Toola Roola dumping paint all over me. Why were my friends treating me like rubbish?

"You were acting crazy the other day, Daffey." Pinkie Pie finally told me, when she saw me wandering around in confusion. "You said a lot of mean things to your friends, and did a lot of mean things, too. We're all still kinda a little hurt by what happened."

Do you know how much it hurt to learn I had abused my firends, diary? I treated all the ponies who care about me like garbage, I hurt them so badly, I don't think they'll ever be able to forgive me. I'm sitting here in my beauty salon as I'm writing this, diary, watching all of my usual customers giving me nasty looks as they walk past my beautician's chair and go to ethier have Amberlocks or Snippy cut thier manes. They won't talk to me, look at me, or even ackoledge me, diary. How can I even apologize to them for my horrible actions, when they won't even let me talk to them?

It wasn't me who said those mean things, I was under the affect of the wierd magic. But I'm not going to use that to try and excuse what I did yesterday. I guess... I guess that potion mixutre brought out all of the hidden angers and frustrations I had towards my friends here in Ponyville, but I wish they could've come out in a nicer way  that telling Wysteria her flowers were ugly, or telling Sparkleworks how she's too fat. Even Scootlaoo didn't deserve it when I appearently stole her scooter and took it for a joyride. It's now smashed into tiny little sparking pieces against the wall of Pinkie Pie's house. Seems like I caused damage both physical and to pony's feelings.

I can't let this go on, I at least have to make my friends understand how terribly, horribly sorry I am. I have to talk to someone, and get them to try and get the others to at least listen to me. But I've seemingly insulted, degraded and upset any possible pony I could've otherwise turned to. Who would possibly understand the level to which I've fallen, who would  listen to me, after the way I shoved Sweetberry's ranibowberry cake into her face, and after I dumped Applejack's picnic basket full of sandwiches on her head. My new look, and my lack of a need for glasses now, serve as a sad reminder of all the mistakes I've made.

Twinkle Twirl would never let me back into her dance studio after I tripped her and her dancers, and I don't think I'm welcome at the Surf shop after giving Sunny Daze an atomic wedgie in her bikini bottom. Who is going to even listen to me long enough to listen to my side? What pony could have possibly been though so many screw ups, mistakes and foul ups that they could possibly understand what I am going through right now? It would take a walking disaster of a mare, with the worst luck in the world and is a walking disaster, who could possibly....

... Diary, I do believe I just awnsered my own question.... but I gotta wonder, will she even give me a chance to explain myself?

Minty Comfort

Minty Comfort

Hello again, Daffey's diary!  Minty here, and boy do I have a lot to tell you! I was over here helping Daffey after she started to fell bad, and  it seemed like I was the only pony in ponyville who would even talk to Daffey after she messed all that stuff up, and acted so mean to the other ponies! She was even scared to come talk to me, because she was afraid I'd be mad at her for being so crazy the other day!

Oh Daffey, how could I possibly be mad at you? After all the times I've messed things up for other ponies, what right would I have to take it out on any other ponies for making mistakes, too?  When you showed up on my door, crying your eyes out, I would never have turned you away. I mean sure, it wasn't very nice of you to dump all that stuff into my laundry to make my sock collection shrink, but I can't stay mad at you for one oopsie, when I've knocked things over, accidentally blown stuff up, and even almost ruined Christmas for all of Ponyville, right?

Daffey told me how badly she felt, how she had never intended to hurt anyone... how she couldn't even remember hurting anyone- and I knew she was telling the truth! That wasn't like Daffey at all to do those horrible things to all of those ponies, Miss Diary, and all of us here in Ponyville know that! We all know what a kind, sweet and gentle pony our mane stylist is, and how she could never say those cruel things, or do those terrible things! So after she had drunk a lotta cups of my green tea, and she had had a good cry, the two of us went into town to try to talk some sense into the other ponies.

But all of our friends... they were too hurt by everything that had happened. Puzzlemint politely asked us to leave, Sunny Daze slammed the door in our face (well, not that I blame her for that, since Daffey but a snappy-clawed crab into her bikini bottom- oh no, that's not helping, is it? Focus, Minty!) After Scootaloo left us in the dust with her scooter exhaust, and Sweetberry threw pies at us to chase us off, I realized they just saw my trying to help Daffey was another one of my famous screw-ups.

"Get outta here!"

"Go on, beat it!"

"I'm sorry darlings, but I wouldn't care to have you here today, please leave!"

But I know they don't hate either of us, Miss Diary, they've been our friends for far too long, and they love us far too much, they're just too hurt by everything we both did! But who could I possibly turn to? Pinkie Pie was away at Unicornia, Wysteria is visiting the Pegasus... ohhh Miss Diary, that left only one pony to turn to.

And it wasn't going to be easy, let me tell you! I mean, I had really, really, really messed things up for her, just like I always mess things up for ponies in Ponyville. But for Daffeydazey's sake, Miss Diary, I just had to try!

We walked outside of town, and trotted right up to Kimono's gazebo-cave home. We, like, didn't know what kind of reception we'd get from  the wisest  pony in the land. But I totally wasn't surprised when Kimono came out of her cave, took one look at the two of us, and scowled before starting back into the entrance. Well Miss Diary, that just wouldn't do! I just ran up in front of the other pony, and pleaded with the mare with all my heart!

"Kimono, wait!" I begged, lowering my head in front of her. "Look I know you're really really mad at me for what happened to your mane... and your charm bracelet... but you just gotta listen! Daffey did a bunch of mean stuff, and hurt a lot of ponies, and she didn't mean to! And I don't care if you stay made at me forever, but you gotta help Daffey! I deserve to have people hate me cause I'm such a klutz! But Daffey's my friend, and she doesn't  deserve tha hate for what she didn't do! So could you please help her, and I'll never bother you again!"

I was crying, Miss Diary! Not just for Daffey, but for all the friends I hurt, and all the stuff I had messed up! And now, I had messed up trying to help Daffey, and all of our friends were go to hate us forever, and they'd never talk to us again, and-

"Come on inside, you two." Kimono replied with a sigh, rolling her eyes. "I'll see what I can do to help you."

So we came in an talked to her, and after looking Daffey over, Kimono went to look at some old books in the Story Loft library. After studying a bunch of old books, and looking Daffey over again, and looking through the books again, she finally nodded, and told us what we both the big thing we both really wanted to hear;

"Girls, I suspect Daffey's odd behavior is not her fault." Kimono announced, looking between the two of us. "The Shampoo our dear beautician was accidentally doused in, contained a rare magical ingredient called poison joke. I believe it's random effects may be responsible for Daffey's odd transformation!"

Both of us sat thier, Miss Diary, and our jaws literally, like, hit the floor! Nither Daffeydazey or I knew what 'poison joke' was, or how it made her act crazy or change or do bad stuff. We were both just glad that Daffey didn't hurt all those ponies' feelings on purpose. We hugged each other, crying over the fact that at least on of us wasn't a screw-up, after all.

And now we're back here, Diary, waiting on Kimono to tell all the other ponies what had happened. Daffey will have her friends back, and they'll be coming back to her beauty salon again. And you know what, Diary? I know that the other ponies may not forgive me for being as bad a klutz and a loser as I am...

...but at least I know that Daffey is still my friend.

Epilouge: Just another day at the shop...

Epilouge: Just another day at the shop...

*Sigh* Hello again, Diary, just another day at the shop. Nothing special to report today.

Minty was hanging around today, knocking over bottles and getting her tail stuck in the twist machine. She even helped Kimono get ready for her date with Yukata, and the two were laughing and giggling as I braided thier manes. As awesome to see Kimono has forgiven our dear Ponyville klutz...

Yeah, just another boring old day.

Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo came in together, and at least they were talking again! Scoots gave Rainbow a ride to my shop in her scooter, and she got really naseous riding on that thing! Turns out some of the stuff I said to each of them while in 'evil mode' got each of them thinking, and the two sat down and had a little talk. Now, we've got Sccotaloo standing in for fittings of Rainbow's most frilliest dresses, even though Scoots never stops complaining about it.

*Sigh* Why the heck won't anything exciting happen to me today?

Sunny Daze and her little crew came in with thier boyfriends, and ended up doing three mane jobs all at once. Amberlockis and Snippity Snap kept pace with helping me, and we had thier hair done in no time! I loved to see those three happy couples together, and I hope they have a whole lotta fun at thier beach party tomorrow night. I'll be sure to be there for the bonfire, gives me a chance to try out that new blue bikini I bought that shows off my entire flank.

I just wish something interesting would have happened...

I'm so happy everyone's back at my shop, it's a bight and lively gathering place of gossip once more. Everyone has forgiven me for what I've done while under the influence of that awful poision joke, and everything has returned to a sembalance of normal. After I finish up here today, a certain unicorn stallion from unicornia and I are going out on a double date with Minty and her boyfriend... I just hope Minty doesn't trip and spill the spagetti all over our manes again. Sunrise Song keeps getting angry at her antics, but I keep reminding him it's just Minty being Minty!

Pinkie Pie is Always stopping by to make sure I'm all right, and eveyone has apologized to me a million billion times for being so mad. But I could never really stay mad at them at all, diary... they are my friends, after all! Oh! And when Waterfire went digging her way through the pipes under my shop, she happened to find Kimono's old Charm breacelet! She's now wearing it on her hoof again, right beside the new charm bracelet we all gave her for that very charming birthday she had recently. I wish I could have a birthday that was exciting as hers was.

All these crazy antics of my friends, and the ponies around me are sooo amazing. *Sigh* I guess nothing exicitng will ever happen to me, not in a boring old place like ponyville. Oh well, I'll just have to be content with my boring old humdrum life!

Minty, where are you!?

Minty, where are you!?

I just can't believe it.... Minty's gone

Oh diary, it's just so awful what has happened! I just got back from Unicornia, and a terrible horrible terrible auful thing has occuredwhile I was away! Minty, our dear sweet clumsy little mixed-up pony, has actually gone missing! She ran away during the night, and didn't tell anyone where she was going! Everyone was in a frantic search for her when I returned, then I found her writing in my diary went I went to add those loose Unicornia entries, and... of diary, I just don't know what to do! Puzzlemint's on the case, asking everyone in town if they saw her leave, or where she was going, and Pinkie Pie's putting together a search party. I just hope nothing's happened to that ditzy klutz of a mare, I'd never forgive myself if it did!

I just don't understand why she ran off, though! Oh I know we get angry at her sometimes,  but we never yell at her for what she's done! Kimono never said a word to her face over the hair or charm breaclet, and Rainbow Dash has never called her out for the accident with the Twist N' Twirl machine. We've always been kind to Minty when it comes to her mess-ups, and we'd never drive one of our dearest friends away! But maybe that's the porblem, Minty caring about her friends so much. She knws how annoying her mistakes can be to the rest of us, and she doesn't want to burden us withher oopsies. Oh Minty, we'd rather put up with a thousandof your mistakes than lose you!

Every pony in Ponyville is reacting diffrently to our dear friend's disappearence. Razaroo has open her house to operate as the coodination spot of the search efforts, and Sweetberry is supplying refereshments to all the searchers. Sunny and Sparkleworks are leading every team out into the countryside looking through every thicket and bramble, while Thistle Whistle keeps leading flocks of Pegasus ponies into the sky to search from above.  Kimono's reall taking this harder than the others, though. She's been going over maps of the whole region for days, and hasn't stopped to rest ever since Minty vanished.

Some ponies don't seem to be very concerned, however, as Scootaloo actually thinks her disappearence is a good thing! "Aw, we're all better off without her!" She told us, before taking off on her bike in anger. If what Minty wrote in my diary is true, I can understand why the poor dear is upset.  Minty didn't mean to cause her trouble, but her ruining the dresses drove a wedge between Scoots and her fashionesta idol. Poor Rainbow felt absolutely awful after I told her about the diary entry, and she was absolutely  crushed with guilt. I can't how diffrent might Scootaloo's life of been, had it not been for- no, better not to think about that right now. Not when Minty needs our help.

As for me, I feel powerless to anything to help, with everyone else already gelloping around and doing everything. All I can do is sweep up all the stray mane clippings in my shop, and await for word of how the search is going to come drifting into my shop. It's so wierd to have this place so quiet right now, diary. The Petal Parlor is usually alive with gossiping mares and the hum of hair dryers. But with this entire fiasco with my friend, there is nothing around to provide me with a distraction when I need it most. So all I can do to pass the time is sit here in my beuaticain's chair and write on your pages, diary. I just wish I knew where our little green friend was.

Still, I really can't help but worry. I know everyone is doing there best out there to look for  Minty. But... what if they aren't able to find her, diary? We;ve never had a pony ever disappear from Ponyville before, at least in my memory. What if Minty never comes back, and we never ever see our friend again? I just can't bear to think of an empty house, all full of green funiture and appliances, and an abandoned sock collection without an owner. We'll never have another picnic or party or game with Minty ever again, and it's so sad to think of what might happen to our missing friend. Oh Minty, YOU'VE JUST GOT TO COME BACK!!!

I...I can't take it anymore, Diary. I can't just sit here and do nothing- this is partly my fault, after all. I've got to get out there with the others, and join in the search. Even if it means I have to look on my own, I just gotta do my part to help find our missing Minty. So as soon as I'm done wrioting here, I'm going to close up my shop for the day, grab my flashlight, and head on out into the rainy night to help out by joining in the search. I hope I don't get lost out there too, diay, but I just can't abandon my friend to the cold and dark. We Ponyville ponies rarely go outside of town, and I have no idea what I'm going to find out there. It could be very dengerous, but that makes me want to go and rescue Minty even more.

Well diary, this is goodbye. Wish me luck, and if I don't come back, it was nice telling you all of my secrets. I don't know where I'm going, or where I'm gonna end up. I just really really hope I can find Mints, and bring her home safely.

all the best,

Daffey Dazey