The full moon shines in the dark shapeless void overhead. Stars dot the landscape. We all look up before laying our heads down to sleep wondering, "will it all still be there tomorrow night?" We say that it will, close our eyes, and hope we are right.
Welcome to Appleloosa
Before we begin, dear listeners, the council of our fair and wonderful city has given me an important announcement to share with all of you. The City Council says that they plan on opening a new dog park in the near future. They would also like everyone to know that there are no dogs allowed in the new Dog Park.
No one is allowed in the new Dog Park.
You may see ponies in dark hoods wandering around the Dog Park. Do not talk to the hooded ponies.
Do not approach the hooded ponies.
The hooded ponies are there for your protection.
And now for the news!
This is a special episode listeners, because today is the Equestria-wide Summer Sun Celebration! While we don't usually associate with the world outside of our quaint little town, today we join the country in celebrating the first day of summer with the annual observance of the raising of the sun by our benevolent leader, Princess Celestia. And while the Princess of Equestria is significantly less powerful than the leaders of our great city, the city council still enjoys to watch her raise and lower the sun out of sheer amusement. I mean does she really think her powers hold a candle to that of our great Council of Elders? What a ludicrous idea!
In other news, Old Mare Jutland says that she was visited by 4 angels. Angels! Can you believe that?! Old Mare Jutland said that the angels are 10 feet tall, and Each of them had 8 wings, except for one who was a unicorn and could fly using magic. Jutland also said that they were invisible, and only revealed themselves to her because she was, quote, "Pure of heart" and "Old enough not to ask questions." Old Mare Jutland had the angels about her house doing different household chores. They patched the holes in her roof, painted the walls on her porch, and even changed a lightbulb for her. Old Mare Jutland is now selling the old lightbulb to the highest bidder. It was changed by the unicorn angel if that sweetens the pot for anypony.
A new pony came into town today. Why is he here? What does he want with Appleloosa? Why is his hair and his coat so perfect? He says he is a scientist. Well, that's nothing out of the ordinary. I mean haven't we all been scientists at one point or another in our short lives? He says that his name is Time Turner. TIme Turner. His name is almost as perfect as his beautiful spiked mane. His beautiful, radiant, spiked mane. I would be jealous of it, but I can't help but feel any emotion but pure and utter adoration towards it whenever I have the good fortune to lay eyes upon that wonderful, wonderful mane. That marvelous, perfect, heavenly, impeccab-
Oh my, I believe I might have gone a little overboard there. While I take a moment to gather my thoughts, here is The Weather
Welcome back listeners.
A note just came across the wire a few minutes ago regarding today's Summer Sun Celebration. Apparently, the sun was supposed to be raised over an hour ago, yet the moon is still in the sky, right where it is every night. News outlets all across Equestria are reporting that Princess Celestia herself has gone missing! Kidnapped by a pony calling herself Nightmare Moon. While it is a shame that Princess Celestia has been kidnapped, it doesn't bother me too much. The Equestrian Government has never paid much attention to us here in Appleloosa anyway. Most of the time we just sort of tend to ourselves and not worry too much about anypony else. However, for those of you who do like Princess Celestia and would like to see her safe, we here at Appleloosa Community Radio will keep you posted as we learn more information.
Time Turner called a town meeting earlier today after he had spent a few hours studying our wonderful little community. Old Mare Jutland brought cupcakes and they were fine, but lacked frosting. Old Mare Jutland said that the angels took her frosting for a "holy" mission and she hadn't gotten around to buying more. Time Turner walked up to the podium with his flawless mane and his beautiful chestnut brown coat. He announced, with his decadent voice, that we were the strangest community he has ever come across. He plans on studying our little town even further and will be here in Appleloosa indefinitely. Well all I have to say about that is we here in Appleloosa are very happy to have Time Turner here among us. Very happy indeed.
A commercial chariot disappeared over the skies of Appleloosa today, then reappeared in the gymnasium of the Appleloosa Elementary School. After appearing in the gym for only a fraction of a second, the chariot disappeared once again, this time for good. The chariot caused no damage and nopony was injured. However the sudden and unexplained appearance of the chariot greatly disrupted Soccer practice that was going on in the gymnasium at the time. There is no word on if this will affect the Appleloosa Elementary Tumbleweed's game schedule or how the chariot disappeared in the first place. However, I have a theory of my own, dear listeners. I think this was the work of the Tumbleweed's bitter rivals the Desert Gulch Sand Dunes. Desert Gulch is always trying to show us up, and this form of treachery seems right up their ally.
For shame Desert Gulch. For shame.
An update on the situation regarding the Summer Sun Celebration. Based on my very reliable source of "the view outside the station window," the sun seems to be in the sky once again. Reports are coming across the wire that Princess Celestia was saved by six ponies from the nearby town of Ponyville. I'm also getting reports that the pony known as Nighmare Moon was actually Princess Celestia's sister, Princess Luna. Well it seems that not only do we get back the sun, but we also have ourselves a new princess! How exciting! I can't wait to see how this new princess will change things around Equestria. I'm sure we will be seeing a lot of her and she will play a big role in the future of Equestria.
Well, with that said, it's time for me to sign off. And since the sky outside looks a little different then when I usually say farewell, I suppose I was have to change my goodbye message accordingly.
Good Morning Listeners,
Good Morning.
