Without A Wheel

by Darkswirl

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sad, Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1420

Trixie suffers from depression.

Dreams. Goals. Aspirations.

Many ponies had these, and Trixie did, too. But Trixie will never reach her goals or live her dreams... Trixie doesn't even know why she keeps trying...

Published 2014-01-06 07:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-06 07:20:06 UTC

Trixie Hates Wheels, Anyway

Attention: The setting of this story takes place before the events in "Magic Duel", or in an alternate universe in which the events in "Magic Duel" never transpired.

In the middle of a beautiful, sunshine-y day, a blue-coated, silver-maned Unicorn lays, on her back, in bed; staring up at the ceiling with a blank look in her eyes. Surrounded by cracker wrappers and poorly-made stuffed animals, she finds no comfort from her full belly, the slabs of sunlight across her snout from the gaps in her blinds, or even the snuggles from her stuffed animals.

Instead, all Trixie feels is sad.

Well, actually, sad is too weak of a word for this feeling. Perhaps "depressed" is a better word. Perhaps all of this would be better understood with a little explanation.

You see, magic is the lifeblood of Unicorns. It courses through their very veins, literally, and almost all Unicorns have a firm grasp on one form of magic or another. Unfortunately, Trixie is not one of these Unicorns, despite her current occupation. Yes, it's true that Unicorns are generally thought to be so skilled in the magical arts that they were taught by the Alicorns themselves when first encountered (which is a complete lie, as the historians will have you know), but it is this notion by which the Unicorn society thrives. Every filly and colt with a horn has great, and somewhat hefty, expectations put on them.

These expectations will follow them throughout their entire lives, as Unicorns are prideful creatures whose society is riddled with peer pressure. It should come as no shock, however, that nearly all Unicorns settle nicely into their magical element after some time,as magic flows with their blood, and blend with the rest of Equestrian society.

Trixie, however, is not one of these Unicorns.

It's not that she has any lack of magic coursing through her body, oh no. Rather, the problem lies in her difficulty with learning magic as a whole. Now, Trixie is no daft or stupid Unicorn - far from it. She simply could never understand how magic exactly worked, and therefore could never settle into a school of magic.

Magic is indeed a tricky subject, perhaps one only Alicorns will ever fully understand, but the explanation of magic is not unreachable by Unicorns. Star Swirl the Bearded and Twilight Sparkle, herself, to name a few intelligent Unicorns. However, despite the fact that Trixie could not understand the logic behind magic, and therefore was unable to properly learn from any school of magic, it is completely ludicrous that the poor Unicorns parents felt that they had no choice but to banish her from the household at such an early age after she had failed her magical aptitude test for a third time.

Truly, the Unicorn society is an uncaring and vicious beast.

And so, Trixie's life began, as a showmare; traveling the land and fooling her crowds with mechanical tricks that produced wondrous effects incredibly close to real magic in order to earn enough coin to simply have a warm meal and a place to sleep for the night.

And our little showmare was doing quite well, to tell the truth.

"To blast with those snooty Unicorns!" Trixie would exclaim whenever she was feeling down. "To blast with their high expectations and brutal actions when their high expectations are not met!"

Reworded in a much cleaner manner, mind you.

After much venting, Trixie was always at her best for her next show. Proving that not all Unicorns needed magic to succeed brightened Trixie's eyes and made her smile. She had proved them all wrong, and Trixie was happy.

But, deep down, Trixie still had her doubts. Had she really shown them that they were wrong? After all, Trixie had been singing the same old song and moving to the same old dance for years. Was there nowhere for her to go except on the road to the next town for another performance?

Trixie didn't like any of those thoughts, and could never admit that those horrible Unicorns might have actually been right, if even only a little.

So, to fight back, Trixie reinvented herself.

No longer was she the Trixie who couldn't preform true magic and simply fooled her Earth Pony and Pegasi audiences with cheap parlor tricks and sparkling lights. Now, she was the Great and Powerful Trixie! She was undoubtedly one of the best Unicorns in all of Equestria! Why, she was so talented, in fact, that, as a filly, she was actually invited to join Princes Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns!

Of course, she had to decline, as she wouldn't be able to live her dream of traveling Equestria and meeting friendly ponies.

And so, Trixie lived this little, harmless white lie for several more years, until she happened upon the quite little town of Ponyville.

Trixie had come quite a long way from her bit-begging past. Now, she was a well-known showmare and occasionally wondered about when she did not arrive on time. Of course, she may have indulged in her illusions of grandeur a bit more, and a bit much, over the years to the point where she had become just the teensiest bossy and perhaps boastful.

But, that was besides the point. Trixie was successful. Trixie was happy. She had finally gained the respect she felt she deserved, and... And, well, it only went downhill from there.

Trixie's act began normally, and went rather smoothly... Until that ignorant little Rainbow-maned Pegasus had to speak out against the Great and Powerful Trixie.

The nerve!

One thing led to another, and Trixie promptly put her and her friends in their places.

Everything was fine, and she had even gained two more fans, even if they were a bit annoying and too enthusiastic about her.

Trixie slept that night as she did every night; blissfully unaware that her entire world would soon come crashing down on her.

It began with frantic knocking on the wooden door to her stagecart in the early, early hours of the morning. Rubbing her eys awake, the poor little Unicorn mare discovered that, not only had her loving colt fans returned to pester her, but they had brought their pet with them.

Except, nopony keeps an Ursa Minor as a pet.

Trixie hid in terror as her stagecart- her home and all her belongings -were destroyed by the beast. And to make matters worse, it all ended thanks to the snobby Unicorn: Twilight Sparkle.

She "saved the day" with real magic and turned nearly everypony in town against her.

Although she fled angry, once she was out of sight from the town, she fell over and cried. She cried and cried and cried.

Her home was gone, her reputation soiled, and her life ruined.

She couldn't make any more money without a stage or her cheap little gadgets. She had nowhere to live without her stagecart. She nothing left without her things.

The only thing she had left was her hand-stitched cape and hat, made by yours truly.

And it was all because of that Unicorn and her magic.

Needless to say, some awful things began to happen to the trees along the road, as Trixie made her way towards another town, where she hoped to find shelter with an old friend she had made.

But the trip would not be quick.

Trixie was bitterly reminded of the harsh life of homelessness and starvation. Forced to return to the crushing ways of the freezing night and the grumbles from her belly, the little mare was broken.

She had everything, and now she had nothing.

And she still has nothing.

Now, she lays, on her back, in bed; staring up at the ceiling with a blank look in her eyes. Surrounded by cracker wrappers and poorly-made stuffed animals, she finds no comfort from her full belly, the slabs of sunlight across her snout from the gaps in her blinds, or even the snuggles from her stuffed animals.

Her happiness and protection from her painful memories and thoughts gone, she simply keeps pushing onward in life, doing chores and making stuffed animals for a few bits, here and there, until she earns enough money to... Do something.

She no longer knows what to do, anymore. She feels as though she has no purpose, and has failed, again.

She rolls onto her side, buries her face in a hand-stitched purple pony, and cries.

Author's Note

Yaaaay, depression.

Yaaaaaaaay.