Rise of Sunbutt the Awesome

by BobAlcove

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Princess Celestia, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Romance, Princess Luna, Drama
Length: 131230

Princess Celestia is the paragon of everything good and pure. And currently not available. Hi my name is Frank, the new guy in charge of this body and I'm here to fulfill all your princess needs. At least until I find something better to do.

Princess Celestia is the paragon of everything good and pure. Noble, fair and righteous. Beloved by all, and pillar of stability for Equestria since the time of Discord.

And currently not available.

My name is Frank, the new guy in charge of this body. I'm here to fulfill all your princess needs, until I find something better to do.

Human turned X fic. Post Season 3, but ignores season 4.

Cover art by Nun2artzy

Published 2014-01-06 21:10:04 UTC
Last updated 2019-07-31 21:58:43 UTC

A royal pain in the...

Canterlot throne room one hour after sunrise...

Luna always dreamed to be in charge. To use her skills and knowledge for the good of all ponykind.

Now she had the chance, sitting as a temporary substitute for her sister in the morning council. Deciding the fate of a nation with ponies listening to every word she said. Everthing she yearned for, something she gone to war against her sister and dived into the abyss of madness a thousand years ago.

“...now I would like all of you to look on page four hundred sixty-six, paragraph seven-B...”

And all she felt right now is boredom.

“ … the new constitutional decree dictates that, henceforth and retroactively, with great advertence and diligence...“

Pure solidified boredom.

“…actions must be taken, to minimize the possibility of a potential reocurrence...“

Excruciating, mindnumbing, soulcrushing boredom and the urge to poke her own eyes out with her horn.

Everything was so unbelievingly dull and dry and despite the huge amounts of smart sounding words everypony used, they managed to say nothing at all.

At some points she swore, they just made words up.

After ten minutes of listening to the ludicrous word constructions and sentence acrobatics, she droned out the noise and started thinking of other things.

“Maybe I should cut the huge chandelier and just end it,“ Luna thought looking up, “yeah let it smash me to pieces, that would shake things up“

She directed her gaze back to the council members.

“I bet Mr. Posh here would have an heartattack and fall all over Mrs. Posh. Too bad I wouldn't be able to see it, being dead and all that“

Mr. Posh and Mrs. Posh were not the names of this two unicorns, but Luna decided to give certain ponies mental nicknames to keep herself occupied.

There were Tubby and Chubby, the two overweight unicorns sitting left from her who almost looked like twins, except their colors were swapped.

Then there was the pink pegasus she lovingly named Slutty. Mostly because of the sultry looks she was giving Luna when nopony would notice.

With the same thought process she named Pervy, the green earth pony stallion barely able to hide something under his desk everytime Luna turned his attention to him.

Not that she blamed him. She was aware of her charms and elevated status as royalty.

And a lttle bit proud of it.

She would stay away from his dreams though.

Then there were several other ponies, colored in different cream and brown shades. They were pretty boring, like background characters only there to fill the empty seats. Hence she gave them the names 'Meh' and a number from one to ten, for that was the exact sound in her head when she thought about them.

So there were Mr. and Mrs. Posh, Tubby, Chubby, Slutty, Pervy, The Meh's and finally Blueblood.

Goddamn Blueblood.

The spoiled prince in name only, who only does what he wants and nopony gave him a hard time for it. Attending the meetings as he pleased, harassing the castle staff and other ponies who he deemed beneath him and most of all herself for coming back.

He made it abundantly clear since her return, that he didn't deemed her worthy of the princess title.

He represented every pony who still thought she was a monster, waiting for a good opportunity to usurp the power from her sister. She was not a hateful pony and believed out of personal experience, that everypony had goodness inside.

But by Tartarus she hated every single overstyled hair on this stallion's body!

“I mean seriously, who does he try to impress? He wears more beauty products on his face than me and all the mares in here combined. Just look at that hair. Look at it!“

“Princess Luna?“ said Trusty, trying to bring Luna out of her thoughts.

“La-di-da, look at me and my big fancy suit, tailored and made in Prance from the finest zebracanian silks, ain't I special?“

“Your Highness?“ said Trusty again this time louder. Luna's left eye twitched when hers and Blueblood's eyes met.

“Do you think you're better than me? Well screw you with your big fancy suit and girly hair you big piece of...“

"PRINCESS!“

“WHAT?!“ screamed Luna turning her head to Trusty, whose mane now stood in an odd angle from her head. All thanks to the accidental Royal Canterlot Voice.

Luna blushed and noticed grudgingly out her eyes, the smug face of Blueblood. “Ahem my apologies, I mean what is it dear Trusty?“

Trusty shook her head and tried to get the ringing out of her ears again, before she gave Luna a new stack of papers. “Last round of documents your Highness“

“For the day?“ said Luna hopefully and took the huge tower of papers.

Trusty shook her head, but this time to say no. “Before the lunch break your Highness. After that we will start the second part“

“Of how many?“

“Well usually two,” said Trusty thoughtful, “but because of your sisters little episode, we probably have to double that to get up to date and to clear up what she caused yesterday“

“How long, Trusty?“

“No worries princess, we will be done just in time for you to lower the sun“

Luna's chambers close to noon...

Life is good.

No scratch that, life is great.

Frank woke up this morning for the second time and felt like dirt punched by a hobo.

That was until he found out he could use magic against his headaches and to cure his motion sickness, disorientation, diarrhea, stomach ache, shaky hooves, parched throat, bad breath, cotton mouth and light sensitivity. Even a slight tooth ache, he had from ripping a barrel open with his bare teeth.

Followed by a thorough and long bubble bath in Luna's bathroom, using all the expensive looking oils and shampoos.

After drying himself of with a spell, he looked in the large mirror and found himself presentable again.

And to his own amazement hungry for breakfast.

“How it is that not every unicorn is smashed twentyfourseven, is a mystery to me. Magic is better than any hangover cure,“ thought Frank leaving the chamber of Luna, now strutting down the hallway with a vague idea of how to get to the kitchen.

Yesterday was fun, but Frank knew that he would eventually have to partake in the less fun parts of being a princess. It wasn't like there was someone who he could push his responsibilities onto and just be on his way.

Cutting a corner he felt something bump into him. "Look where you going commoner, I swear nothing but incompetent fools too stupid to.... aunty!“

Or maybe there is.

To Frank's hooves sat the snooty stallion called Blueblood, rubbing his nose.

“I'm so happy to see you aunty! Where have you been? Luna is a dreadful substitute!“

So Luna pitched in for him. That was interesting to Frank. “Good morning nephew, nice to see you too. Tell me what seems to be the problem?“

“Aunty the problem is, that Luna doesn't know what she's doing and is sabotaging all my efforts in the council. I swear the nerve of that mare!“

This was new to Frank. He couldn't remember seeing Blueblood during the meeting yesterday.

“Care to elaborate, dear Nephew? You know how much I value your inside into things“

Blueblood paused for a second. “You do? I mean..., yeah of course you do! That's why I'm your favourite, don't I aunty?“

Frank decided to grin and bear it, knowing full well what type of character Blueblood was. He met them thousands of times on earth. The self-absorbed douchebags with the constant need to validate themselves by putting others beneath them.

Frank liked handling those kind of people, because they were nothing but predictable. He knew that there was one thing they liked better than letting others feel inferior. Being told that they were superior by others.

“Of course you are my favourite, that goes without saying. That is why you are still by my side and Cadence is freezing her flank off in the ice tundra I sent her to,“ said Frank in a sugary tone.

Blueblood was now blinking furiously, needing time to process what he just heard. Then he started blushing, having the decency to get embarrassed from getting his ego stroked.

"And what about your precious student Twilight Sparkle?"

"You mean the precious student I sent to a backwater town to learn the 'Magic of Friendship'? Which brought such revolutionary reports from her like 'Opposites attract' or 'Let your friends help you'?" said Frank doing air quotes with his hooves.

Frank deadpanned. "Yeah groundbreaking scientific findings indeed, wouldn't you agree nephew?”

Blueblood now smiled like a little boy sitting on Santa's lap. “I love you aunty!“

“Yeah, Blueblood I know,“ said Frank, screaming internally.

“But to come back to the subject of my sister I fear you have to bear her nephew, for she is going to be my substitute until further notice“

“Oh why would you do that aunty? Have you lost your mind? No offense!“

Frank's left eye twitched.

“None taken nephew. And to be perfectly honest, maybe I am losing my mind. I'm sure you heard what happened yesterday during the morning council. I think I'm in desperate need of a vacation, after dealing with the rabble for such a long time and the constant whining of the common folk from day to day basis. Present company excluded of course“

Frank had the sudden urge to punch himself in the face.

“I can perfectly understand getting fed up aunty, most of them don't know their place anymore. But you always said it is important to listen to your subjects regardless of how unimportant they are“

And now the target went from himself to Blueblood.

“Sounds like it is quoted a bit out of context, but of course I say that nephew. What would happen if I would openly tell ponies on the street how little they matter? Give them enough honey and they don't mind the stick anymore nephew“

Frank felt really dirty saying that, but it had the wanted effect of making Blueblood happy.

“Exactly my point! Oh aunty you know me so well, but don't you fear that Luna is going to screw up in your absence?“

And that was the point the trap sprung shut. “Why would I my dear nephew? You are still here keeping an watchful eye for me, don't you?”

Blueblood's chest swelled in pride and he even gave a little salute. “Of course aunty! You can count on me, upholding the values of the royal family!“

“Very good nephew. And naturally, I don't have to tell you to keep this a secret between me and you?“

“Of course aunty that goes without saying. This will be our little secret!“ squealed Blueblood like a little girl making Frank's ears hurt.

“I'm off then, telling my sister that she is in 'charge' now, so to speak,“ said Frank winking with his left eye. Blueblood giggled and winked back, making Frank shudder. He felt like taking a bath again.

Frank was halfway through the hallway, when he stopped and remembered a certain episode Blueblood was part of. “Say nephew, if I'm not mistaken you own a quite remarkable airship, don't you?“

Blueblood's face brightened again, like a kid's in front of a toy store. “Several aunty, I collect them and have one for every occasion”

Frank deadpanned again. “Of course you do, but if you had to choose what would be your favourite one?”

“That is easy aunty! It would be my newest and biggest ship the 'Superiority'. With a state of the art magical engine, making it also the fastest airship in Equestria. A perfect blend of functionality and luxury, steerable by only one unicorn. I planned to make it my flagship and flying summer mansion"

Blueblood's eyes sparkled in wonder and Frank couldn't help but grin. “Mind if I take it for my little vacation? The best of the best is just good enough for ponies of our calibre, don't you agree nephew?“

Blueblood was silent for a moment, not sure if he wanted to give someone his new toy.

“Of course not aunty,” said Blueblood hesistantly, “but please be careful I just had it recently painted and refurnished!“

“My thanks and to show my gratitude, why don't you treat yourself to a little something?“ said Frank aware that a little incentive wouldn't hurt to make sure Blueblood was compliant.

“Aunty?“

“Soon, this castle will have some redecorations to emphasize more our higher standing. Speak to the forepony and let him build you a new royal suite or two. In fact before I go, I shall give you full clearance to the treasury!“

In an instant Frank found himself tackled to the ground and the air hugged out of him from an euphoric squealing prince.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Aunty you are the best!“

“Anytime nephew, now would you get off me?“

“Thank you! Thank you!“

“Get off me, Blueblood!“

“I love you! I love you!“

“FOR GODS SAKE MOVE IT!“

Some time later in the royal dinning room…

“My apologies for the meager meal princess, after yesterday's feast for your sister the kitchen is still not fully stocked on everything!“

Luna sat there on the table grumpily chewing on her stale bread muffins, smearing them angrily with butter between bites. “No worries, you are not the target of my ire right now. You are excused!“

The maid hastily left the room and Luna was alone in the dining hall.

At least she thought so.

“Are you gonna eat that?“

Before Luna could react, one of the muffins levitated past her to where the voice was coming from. She turned her head and looked directly in the face of her sister, happily munching down on the muffin.

Her Muffin!

"YOU!“ roared Luna, pointing one hoof in Frank's face.

Frank stopped eating and pointed at himself. "ME!“

Luna couldn't believe it. After all the stuff she pulled yesterday, the ordeals she put her through and Tia had the audacity to steal her well earned dinner. “Give that back!“

“You want this muffin?“ said Frank, stopping his chewing.

Luna stood up from her chair facing Frank directly. “I want it!“

“You couldn't possibly be talking about the muffin, who is currently in my hoof,” said Frank, observing the muffin with fake interest, ”do you Luna?“

Luna climbed on the table, getting closer to Frank. “I am not in the mood to play games. Sister, I want it!“

“You want this muffin?“

“Tia! I want it!“

“You want, you want?“ sang Frank shaking his butt.

“I WANT THAT MUFFIN!“ Luna yelled standing on the table, wings flared and panting heavily.

Frank stood there mystified and Luna hoped, she finally would get some peace and quiet. But then he snickered. “You are so cute, when you're angry Lulu“

“What by Tartarus is wrong with you since yesterday?“

“Yesterday is kind of a blur to me, so I'm afraid you have to be way more specific,“ said Frank jokingly, trying to lighten the mood, being full aware of what happened yesterday.

And it failed miserably, because the instant Luna spoke he felt a cold shiver going down his spine. “Then let me refresh your memory sister. You ditched your royal duties to have a one pony orgy. Then you came into my chambers piss drunk and filthy, only to harass me!“

"Luna, I...“

Luna raised her hoof to silence him. ”Let me finish! You wanted to know and now you gonna hear it sister. Then you threw a hissy fit and tried to kill yourself, because I wouldn't give you a pillow. A freaking pillow Tia!“

Luna jumped off the table, giving Frank the stink eye.

“And after saving your drunk flank, you had the nerve to puke all over me and to lay down in my bed, leaving me to handle the nutjobs you call a council!“

Luna poked Frank in the chest and the continued.

“So if you want to know what happened yesterday I tell you. In short you were an pathetic excuse of a princess, an even more pathetic excuse for a sister and you can go to Tartarus for all I care!”

Luna huffed and puffed, cheeks red and out of breath from her little rant. She felt refreshed and satisfied after letting that out.That would teach her sister.

Her big and only sister. The only real family she had.

Who stood now before her like a statue, staring blankly at her.

Moments stretched to minutes and Luna was holding her breath waiting for a reaction. Any reaction from her sister.

“Tia...?“

“You are right,“ said Frank and slowly put the muffin on the table. He sat down on one of the chairs his back turned to her with a serious expression. “I have been a horrible sister to you and not just recently!“

Frank knew that this was a huge gamble right now. He had no idea, if what he said was true or not. He simply used the scarce information he had about the relationship between Celestia and Luna from the show and played the rest by ear.

“Always pushing you away into my shadow and treating you like a foal, never considering how you must feel. I'm a monster don't I?“

Luna's eyes went wide. “What? No! Tia listen, maybe I overreacted a little!“

“No you didn't!” said Frank and slammed his hooves on the table, “you have the same rights as me and yet what do I let you do?“

“That is not your fault! I had to settle in, getting familiar with society again“

Frank was happy. It seemed his prediction of Luna being socially awkward was right on the money. Time to move this in the right direction.

“I could have helped you! But I decided to work myself into the ground to the brink of insanity, instead of asking for your help. But this ends right now! From now on Luna I will give you, your well earned spot in the limelight without me breathing down your neck!“

Luna was about to ask what by Tartarus her sister was talking about, when a sudden knock at the door and a familiar voice came to both of their ears.

"Princess Luna? Council is continuing soon, please hurry with your meal"

Luna groaned as she heard this, but Frank got a big grin on his face.

"Trusty!" said Frank, ripping the door open with his magic and levitating Trusty inside, "exactly the mare I was looking for!"

"Princess Celestia?!" said Trusty dangling head over in mid air.

Frank levitated her to him, a few inches apart from his face. "You came just to the right time to be witness of my proclamation!"

"Wonderful princess... but maybe you could let me down or at least turn me around. I am getting dizzy," said Trusty turning green in the face.

"Of course Trusty! Everything for my favourite secretary,” said Frank dropping Trusty on the ground face first, “and I'm sure that soon you will be my sisters favourite too, for as of today you are working for her"

"What?" said Luna and Trusty in perfect unison.

Frank climbed on the table and cleared his throat loudly. "I, Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria, hereby declare my sister Luna as new and sole ruling entity of this nation for indefinite time!"

"What?" said Luna and Trusty again, but this time several decibel louder.

"And to not undermine my sisters new authority with my presence, I will resign from office immediately for the same time period!"

Frank satisfied with his proclamation, turned to Luna to see her no doubt happy face. Only to notice that Luna wasn't happy at all. Not even angry or suprised, that would have been understandable for Frank.

The expression he saw was like a punch to the gut to him.

What he saw in the face of Luna was fear and downright despair!

"Sister you can't do that! How am I supposed to live up to your legacy! You've done it for the last thousand years without me! They all forgot about me! They don't want me! Most of them still hate me!”

Luna looked down, the next sentence barely a whisper. But Frank heard it.

“The ponies never gonna accept your worthless little sister as a substitute for you!"

Before he knew what he was doing, Frank had walked up to the quivering and sniveling Luna. Who was now nervously babbling to herself and faced the floor. He forcefully put both his front hooves on her shoulders.

She looked up to see the face of a very pissed of princess.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, BEING WORTHLESS? DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT AGAIN, UNDERSTOOD?!”

The force of his voice, threw Luna out of her stupor and she nodded slowly. The face of Frank softened, not the angry grimace anymore and he let go of her. The next words out of his mouth were much more calm.

“Luna when I am totally honest, in direct comparison between you and her… erm I mean me, I always thought you were the much better pony”

“What are your talking about Tia?” Luna croaked hoarsely, “I succumbed to darkness out of petty jealousy and feeling inferior to you. I'm full of weakness and doubt, not unfailing like you”

“Yes you are and that is what in my opinion, makes you better than her… I mean me goddamnit! You faced adversity and sunk to the lowest point, but you came back from it. Not unscathed, but stronger from it. What a hero origin story is concerned, yours is a seriously cool one”

And then Frank raised an eyebrow, as if challenging her. “And who says I'm without fail? As I remember, my flank gets rescued repeatedly by a purple and socially awkward book nerd”

Luna baffled and not sure what to say, took a while before answering. “But what about our subjects? Even if I would do it, they wouldn't believe in me”

Frank grinned. “Don't you read any fiction? Ponies love underdogs. Even more so if said underdog proves everypony wrong for not believing in him or her. Those are the best stories told”

Frank gave Luna a hug and noticed she wasn't shaking anymore.

"So tell me dear sister, are you ready to prove them wrong and to show them how great you are?" said Frank releasing her.

Luna brightened up and wiped her tears away. "Yeah I am!"

"Tell me are you a winner or are you a loser?"

"I am a winner!" said Luna bursting with confidence.

"Louder I can't hear you!"

This time Luna flared her wings, shouting in the Royal Canterlot Voice. "I AM A WINNER!"

"Are you gonna show them what you're made of?” asked Frank and put his hooves on her shoulders again to shake her.

"THEY WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT THEM!"

"Awesome! Now give me a kiss get your flank out there!"

And without thinking Luna put a big wet one right on Frank's lips and then stormed out of the room with Trusty right behind her.

That left Frank alone in the room, who turned his attention to the basket of muffins. He took one and stared out of the window, a satisfied smirk on his lips.

Nobody messes with best pony, not even best pony herself.

"She tastes like blueberry..."

Down the hall Luna was in full victory mode, storming energeticly with epic fanfare music playing inside her head and a running Trusty right in tow.

But then the music suddenly stopped with a scratch, like a record on a gramophone and she slowed down to a standstill right before the throne room.

"Trusty, did I just kiss my sister passionately on the mouth after she asked me to do it?"

"Technically she ordered your Highness to do it," said Trusty in a monotone voice looking at her clipboard.

"Not the point Trusty!"

"I figured your Highness, but yes it seems you shared a passionate kiss with your sister Princess Celestia"

Luna raised an eyebrow. "Why are you so calm all of a sudden?"

Trusty shrugged with her shoulders. "That is a good question your Highness of which I don't have an answer. Taking a guess, I would say this last display shocked me into mental numbness"

"What's that like?" asked Luna curiously.

"Kinda refreshing, the constant eye twitching excluded of course,” said Trusty rubbing her eyes, “I really could do without that. I am sure this will pass, once the full implications settle in for me. But I'm afraid your Highness has other worries than me right now."

"And what would that be?"

Trusty opened the door to the throne room. "Explaining to Prince Blueblood, why your Highness is late for the meeting."

Just dropped in...

"I, Twilight Sparkle, current librarian of Ponyville and recently coronated princess, being sound of mind, declare this to be my last will and testament"

Ponyville library was in a state of pure chaos. Shelves were toppled over, books strewn around all over the floor, the walls filled with notes, flow charts and decision trees, half written apology letters with ink and tear stains and in the middle a very distraught purple princess sitting on a table.

Twilight put down the quill and turned to Spike, who was currently busy carrying boxes down the basement.

"How does that sound Spike?"

"Sounds good to me Twilight, but somepony who could see you right now might argue the sound of mind part," said Spike walking past Twilight with another huge box with ‘inheritance for my friends’ written on it.

Twilight narrowed her eyes and crumpled up the piece of paper. "Hillarious, Spike really. Have you read the letter from the princess? Can't you see how dire the situation is right now?"

"As a matter of fact Twilight I haven't,” said Spike with a expressionless face, “I remember almost choking on it, because it wedged itself in my throat. And instead of helping me getting it out, you hogged it for yourself once I got it out on my own.

Blushing slightly, Twilight picked up the scroll with her magic and gave it to Spike by hitting him in the face with it. Irritated from her behaviour, he opened the letter and skimmed through it. Not that there was much to skim through:

Hey Twilight,

I am coming.

Be prepared.

-Celestia

He stared for a moment and turned the letter around, looking if something is written on the back. He found nothing and shrugged.

"Kinda short and less flowery than usual, but what's the problem?" said Spike scratching his head.

Twilight took the letter from Spike and carefully put it on the table, as if she feared it would explode. "The problem is that not even two days have past, since I made her angry and now all of a sudden she is coming to Ponyville?"

Spke sighed, he new what was coming. One of the usually mental breakdowns, about something ridiculous and easily fixable. And he would, like always, make the fruitless effort to bring her down again.

"Oh seriously Twilight you exaggerate! How bad could it have been?"

Twilight swirled around and faced him with a manic stare. "On that morning she needed three tries to lift the sun! Three tries Spike! I must have made her so angry, that she wasn't able to think straight!"

Spike was about to retort, when they both heard knocking and the door to the library swung open. In came Rarity and Fluttershy with her bunny Angel sitting on her back.

“Hello Twilight my dear, we wondered if you want to accompany us to... oh good gracious!” said Rarity happily before stopping and looking around the messy library.

“Oh my,“ said Fluttershy peeking out behind Rarity, “should we come another time? You seem to be very busy!“

“Rarity! Fluttershy!” said Spike and his mood improved instantly, “exactly the mares I was looking for! Can you convince Twilight that she's overreacting as usual?“

Rarity rubbed the head of the little dragon affectionately and little hearts appeared in his eyes. “What is it this time she is crazy about my little Spikey wikey? A valuable lost book? A test? Or in general something about Princess Celestia?“

All three looked at Twilight with a knowing expression.

“I'm right here you know! Am I really that predictable?“

Rarity put her hoof on Twilight's shoulder. “Darling, you wouldn't be you if you weren't. But why don't you tell us what happened over a cup of tea? Spikey would you mind making some?“

“Of course not! Everthing for you!“ said Spike dropping the box loudly on the floor, which made Twilight cringe and glare at him disapprovingly. He ignored it and waddled away, leaving the mares alone.

To kill time until then, Rarity walked up to a wall and looked at a poster with a crude drawing of Twilight on a rocket, called “Plan Moon Escape”.

Twilight's face brightened, but she still had that manic look in her eyes. “Ah, I see you noticed my contingency plan forty-three. Sounded better, before I crunched the numbers for the budget needed to get a rocket fit for space travel”

“Yeah…,” said Rarity, not sure what else to say, “it's always something isn't it?… Spike! Hurry with the tea please!”

He came back soon with a tray, filled with teacups and a large pot of tea. They decided to sit on the table in the kitchen. “Here you go ladies, I got you sweet apple with cinnamon your favourite flavour Rarity. I'm sorry that we have no pastries, but Twilight already conserved them airtight as rations in the case of a siege“

Rarity and Fluttershy silently took their teacups taking a sip, but Twilight just held her cup grumbling to herself. “You will be thankful soon enough. When we follow my plan and ration properly, we can hold out for months and long enough for the escape tunnel to be dug out!“

Deciding not to interrupt, Rarity and Fluttershy still said nothing and observed the situation, but Spike decided to go in full on attack mode.

“Do you listen to yourself you crazy pony?“ groaned Spike rubbing his forehead, “you had a unflattering dream about her and she saw it! Big Deal! Get a hold of yourself!“

Fluttershy put her cup down and turned to Spike with a conufsed look on her face. “Uhm... I am afraid I still don't quite understand. What is the problem here?“

Twilight opened her mouth to answer, but Spike shoved a scroll in her mouth as a improvised gag.

“Exactly what I said, Twilight had a dream and Princess Celestia visited her in it. She won't tell me what the dream was about, but I can guess of what I heard from her sleeptalking. After that a letter from Princess Celestia came and now Twilight thinks she is coming to make an example of her“

By then Twilight had spat out the scroll and took a quick swig of tea to get the taste of ink and paper out of her mouth.

“Spike you can't do that! I'm the adult here and I demand respect!“

He was unimpressed. “Then act like one, I mean think about it for a second. Would the princess resort to petty revenge over something so trivial as a dream?“

“But she said...“

“But nothing darling,” said Rarity, “Spike is right. You will see, once you talked to her that everything will be alright“

Twilight relaxed. They were right, why would Celestia do something like that? It was a silly notion and they would clear any potential dispute like grown, responsible adults. She took another gulp of her tea and finally calmed down.

And then Applejack bursted through the door with Pinkie hopping behind her.

“Twilight where are you?! Is Equestria in danger? Is there a conflict we are not aware about yet?“

Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy and Spike stood up from the kitchen table and walked into the lbrary, teacups in their hooves and claw.

They saw Applejack nervously looking around and Pinkie had opened the window.

“Look how big it is!“ said Pinkie leaning out the window and looking in the distance.

“Oh Pinkie be quiet, this is serious!” said Applejack glaring at Pinkie, “Twilight I need to know if something is wrong. I have to get Applebloom from school!“

Pinkie took a pair of binoculars out of her mane and watched through. “I mean it is so far away and it's still visible to the unaided eye. That is humongous big!“

“What are you two talking about?“ said Rarity.

Applejack stepped closer, looking Rarity dead in the eye. “I am talking about the giant flying battleship coming from Canterlot!“

“Battleship?“ said Twilight in a high pitched voice and her teacup got cracks all over.

“And look at all the cannons!” Pinkie said adjusting her binoculars to see better, “the front one is bigger than my house! I wonder how many confetti I could put in there?“

Twilight started to shake violently, grabbing her teacup tighter and even more cracks appeared. Trying to calm her down, Spike rubbed her back. “Aww come on Twilight, that can mean anything. Pinkie can you see something special?“

“I can see the princess! There she is on the front! Oh, shining armor!”

“My brother?” asked Twilight hopefully.

“No silly! She is wearing shining armor! Looks pretty cool, can we get armor too?”

Twilight turned to Spike with a pleading look on her face, but all he could do is shrug his shoulders. “Yeah, I got nothing. This looks pretty bad. What did you say to her?"

She put her head in her hooves, groaning in frustration.

“Where is Rainbow Dash?“ asked Fluttershy looking outside and then closing the door, “isn't she with you Applejack?”

“She trained this morning on my farm and said she wanted to take a nap at her house“

“Her house was the one with the rainbow fountain just outside the town right?“ Pinkie asked, making adjustments again on her binoculars.

“Yes, why?“

At this moment a loud crashing sound could be heard all over Ponyville.

Pinkie put down the binoculars for a moment. “I think Dashie needs a new house, her old one just got run over… oh there she is flying to the ship!“

And a few moments later you could hear a familiar scratchy voice all over Ponyville.

“YOU CHUMPS TOOK DOWN MY HOUSE! WHO THE HAY DO YOU THINK... PRINCESS?“

Everyone held their breath, not capable of saying anything at the moment and just waited silently inside the library. They all looked up, when a huge shadow was cast over the treehouse blocking the sunlight. Looking over to Pinkie hanging out the window, they noticed that she pointed her pair binoculars now straight up.

Seconds later you could hear a loud smash of something heavy hitting the front yard, followed by a soft knock on the door.

“Twilight? The princess is here to see you. Twilight are you home?“

Slow and mechanically Twilight walked to the door, her worried friends in tow. Inch by inch she opened the door and could see a slightly shaken Rainbow Dash and behind her a smiling Princess Celestia.

Full body armoured in golden platemail.

Contemplating the situation with her superior mind she came to one solution. Twilight slammed the door shut, barred it with a table and ran like hell to the kitchen to lock up the back entrance.

But upon entering the kitchen, Frank was already sitting at the table with a slightly charred Rainbow Dash.

"That wasn't very nice Twilight. Very rude to slam the door in Rainbow Dash's face. Luckily I can teleport and Rainbow Dash doesn't seem to be the type to hold a grudge"

Rainbow coughed and black smoke came out of her mouth and nose.

"Sorry my dear, It seems I'm not used to teleport other ponies with me," said Frank nonchalantly, "and I hate to tell you that your tail is on fire. I suggest you remedy that"

Rainbow's eyes widened in shock and she ran past her friends in the doorway and upstairs to the bathroom, leaving a trail of smoke coming from her tail.

"You know there is a sink with water here in the kitchen right?” yelled Frank after her, “but whatever suits you best, I mean it's your tail"

Frank turned to the table, where some unused teacups and a teapot were and then to the doorway where Twilight stood with Spike, Rarity, Applejack and Fluttershy. But not Pinkie. Pinkie was still hanging out the window, ogling at the cannons from the airship.

His eyes met with Twilight's and she involuntary flinched, when he suddenly grabbed the teapot with his magic and shook it.

"Having a teaparty, hmm?"

"Do you want a cup princess?” said Twilight sweating like crazy, “maybe some pastries? Spike! Get the princess a cup and something proper to eat!"

"But you packaged everything in the basement for you know what"

Twilight glared at Spike. "Just do it Spike, please!"

"That won't be necessary Spike, I am planning to make this short," said Frank and stood up from the chair, rising to his full height and towering over all of them.

Twilight gulped and slowly backed away.

"You know Twilight, you might have already figured out why I'm here. You're a smart mare after all and as of late I know that you think so about yourself too"

Remembering the dream from last night, Twilight gulped harder and tried to keep calm.

"I can't help myself, but I feel pretty tense lately. It's like something is weighing me down, a unwanted attachement like a abscess or tumor"

Twilight was now heavily sweating and her heartbeat skyrocketed.

"And what is the best way to relieve yourself from all that baggage? It is quite simple acutally!"

Frank stood now right before Twilight and she got a mad flashback to the end of their dream conversation.

"You get rid of it! And I'm here in Ponyville to do just that"

“This is it. That's how it's gonna end, smashed to pieces by my mentor for failing her!” thought Twilight closing her eyes, waiting for the inevitable.

"Twilight, I'm going to take a vacation here in Ponyville and a leave from all the princess business!"

Frank's sentence echoed through the now silent library. After a moment of silence, Twilight opened her eyes and all tension and anxiety dropped from her in heavenly bliss.

Too bad for her, that in her relief she dropped also something else lifting her tail slightly.

All gazes were now fixated on the object between Twilight's hindlegs. Even Pinkie redirected her attention to it, away from the airship with a look of disbelief.

"Did you just... shit yourself?"

Twilight bolted upstairs with her mess levitating behind, wailing like a madpony and nearly smacking a screeching Rarity in the face with it.

What followed was more silence.

Then you could hear a quiet snort, followed by a chuckle.

And finally a full-blown fit of laughter.

"Hahahhaha, oh my god this is hilliarious!," said Frank, tumbling over with tears in his eyes and holding his sides, "she dropped that dookie! Oh please stop I can't breathe! I am dying here!"

The rest, Rarity in particular were appalled by this unladylike behaviour from the princess, who now reduced the articulation to random neighing and hooting.

Soon noises from upstairs in form of loud blows on wood and screaming added themselves to the overall commotion.

"Rainbow open the goddamn door!"

"Twilight, I'm on fire here give me a second!"

"RAINBOW! I need to drop something!"

"Hold it in! I'm almost finished!"

"Oh I'm holding it alright! And I gonna rub it in your face, if you don't get the buck out of my bathroom before I count to three!"

"You wouldn't dare!"

"One!"

"Ok, ok calm down I open the door, but... oh my god don't get near me with that! What is wrong with you?"

"Shut up! Just get out and shut up!"

"Stop it!” hollered Frank, gasping for air, “really you guys are killing me! I would buy tickets for that!"

Some time later...

Frank had finally calmed down, still snorting from time to time and the rest sat there in uncomfortable silence.

Applejack looked around. "She is not coming out again, is she?"

"Would you?” said Rarity turning her attention to Applejack, “that was the most embarassing thing I've ever seen! I wouldn't be suprised, if she drowned herself in the sink. I know I would!"

Frank blinked with his eyes. “You ponies are really much darker than I thought you would be”

Deciding to steer the conversation in a more suitable direction, Applejack asked, "so princess, you said you are staying in Ponyville for a vacation?"

"That is correct Applejack,” said Frank, “Luna is going to pitch in for me, while I take some time off. I will be staying at the ship though. It has all the necessities"

Applejack frowned. "About the ship. Why is it so huge and why does it have so many cannons?"

Frank shrugged with his shoulders. "It's one from my nephew and you all know how pompous he can be"

Rarity grimaced, being reminded of the uncouth stallion. "And the armor?"

"Isn't it cool?” said Frank and struck a pose sticking his butt out, "I found it in the armory of the ship. Blueblood really had a armor custom made for me. I don't know how he got my measurements and when I think about it's a little bit creepy, especially because there was a matching one in his size”

The to this point silent Rainbow Dash coughed slightly. "Princess about my house..."

Frank turned to Rainbow his butt still in the air. "What house?"

Rainbow couldn't believe it. "The one you crashed through with your ship!"

Frank squinted his eyes deep in thought, but then his eyes flew open. "Oh my! That's what that was? I knew I hit something"

"I will be honest here princess,” said Rainbow Dash awkwardly, “working minimal wage in the weather patrol, I can't afford a new one"

"So I can savely assume you are still no Wonderbolt?" asked Frank in a monotone voice. He knew the answer already, but decided to ask anyway to make sure.

"No, princess I am not," said Rainbow Dash sadly, looking down to the floor.

He sighed heavily. “Who's in charge of the Wonderbolts?”

“That would be Spitfire, princess”

Without a word Frank walked to the table, on which Twilight was writing earlier and sat down. He took a empty piece of paper and started to scribble away with a quill. The others curiously came closer and heard word fragments from Frank, mumbling to himself while writing.

“Dear Spitfire…It came to my notice that...still not considered for… extraordinary achievements… severe consequences for your career... bla bla bla...hereby decree...with best regards...and done!"

Frank put down the quill and admired his work. He rolled the paper up and gave it to Rainbow Dash, who looked at it confused.

“Give that to Spitfire when you feel like it. Congratulations you are now a Wonderbolt!”

Rainbow Dash looked at the scroll and back to Frank. “Huh?”

“I left your rank and monthly salary blank. Feel free to put there what you want before sending it”

Frank waited for a response from the rainbow-maned mare, but all he got was her opening and closing her mouth like a fish. He got close and started mimicking her. Rainbow Dash stopped when Pinkie Pie joined the fray, turning it into an threeway improptu simulation of a fish tank.

“It's that easy? All this time I was almost killing myself training and all I had to do was ask you? Are you kidding me!?”

Frank deadpanned. “You don't want it? Then give it back”

“No!” said Rainbow Dash, hugging the scroll and caressing it like a puppy.

“Thought so,” said Frank smugly.

He turned his attention to the rest. “Anyone else want something, while I'm at it?”

They all looked flabbergasted. Except Rainbow Dash who still was occupied by hugging the scroll and Pinkie, who happily bounced and raised her hoof.

“Oh me, please pick me! I want that big canon on your ship. Oh pretty please, imagine what I could do with that. Pretty please with cherries on the top!”

“Yeah whatever, you can take it for all I care!” said Frank rolling his eyes and turning to Rarity, “what about you? How about a title? How does Duchess Rarity sound to you?”

“Princess, I don't know…”

“You are right. Duchess sounds like douchebag, but no worry we figure something out! Maybe we can even squeeze another princess in there. One more wouldn't hurt”

Now it was Rarity who gaped like a fish, but Frank was bored of the schtick and turned to Applejack. “Oh Applejack let me think what you would want. I bet something with apples, down to earth and somewhat boring. Just like you!"

Applejack's face fell and Frank poked her shoulder. “Relax I'm just kidding! Being absolutely predictable is a good thing, so smile! We will get you something nice”

Applejack cringed but forced herself to keep smiling.

“That leaves us with you,” said Frank pointing at Fluttershy, who tried to make herself as small as possible, ”what do you want?”

Fluttershy hid her face behind her hair. “Oh princess, I couldn't possible ask you of something, I mean there isn't really anything I want right now”

At this point, Angel the bunny hopped out of the kitchen and stopped right before his owner.

Angel gave Fluttershy a kick to the shin, signalling to come with her for a minute. They both walked in a corner of the library and then Angel started to squeak angrily with her. She listened intently and Frank sat there, drumming impatiently with his hoof on the table while waiting.

She finally turned around. “Uhm actually there is something your Highness. You know since Discord has moved in with me now, living space became kinda limited. So maybe, if it isn't to much work, could I get a bigger house?”

Frank raised an eyebrow and Fluttershy started sweating.

“I mean not living with me like as a couple,” she stuttered getting red in the face from blushing, “...not that he is not sweet enough to be a good coltfriend and if he would ask me… mabye...eeep!”

Everyone including Frank, watched her in various states of bafflement.

“Fandom be damned. Fluttershy got game!” thought Frank imagining, how a make out session with her and Discord would look like. And it seemed to him he wasn't alone with that, looking at the various green and red faces from her friends.

“You get one right tomorrow,” he said standing up, walking to the cowering Fluttershy, “I make you two a comfy little love nest, don't you worry. You go girl, keep this lucky bastard occupied!”

“No… it isn't… but… “

“That takes care of everything, I guess,” said Frank, “oh except Twilight, wait a second I ask her”

He took a deep breath and they looked at him confused, before holding their ears from the noise.

“TWILIGHT CAN YOU HEAR ME? ARE YOU STILL ON THE POTTY? DO YOU WANT ANYTHING? SOMETHING I CAN DO FOR YOU?”

He stopped and listened intently.

But all they heard was a damped whimper from upstairs.

“I guess that's a no. So if you excuse me, I'm gonna take a sunbath on the ship with tons of ice cream”

They all silently waved goodbye, except Pinkie who got a distant look in her eyes.

“What flavour?” asked Pinkie starting to drool.

Frank grinned. “Every flavour there is, believe me I checked!”

“Even double chocolate banana muffin with strawberry gumdrops?”

“Yes Pinkie, even double chocolate banana muffin with strawberry gumdrops!”

Pinkie got on her knees, clamping down on his legs. “Please take me with you! I'm really good at licking ice cream, or gumdrops for that matter. You could say I'm very skilled at licking in general.

Frank's eye twitched. “Yeah..., why not… sounds like fun”

Pinkie let go and cheered. “Awesome! What about you Dashie you should have nothing better to do, or do you?”

Rainbow Dash was sitting on the table with a quill in her teeth and the rolled out paper. “Let's see… how about admiral? Or better general…? I think adding a few zeroes to that number would do no harm, I mean who am I hurting?”

Pinkie scratched her head. “Guess she does, well more for me!”

Frank turned to the door to leave, but noticed that it was blocked with a table. Without stopping to walk he blasted both, the table and the door to splinters.

“Send me the bill Spike, oh and buy yourself something too,” said Frank, while he and Pinkie walked outside. Originally he just wanted to have some alone time, but hanging out with Pinkie sounded like fun.

“I get my gyrocopter, I'll be back in a minute!”

She bounced away, but Frank stopped her with his magic. “No need, just hop on. I fly us up there. Why are you smiling like that?”

“Oh no special reason princess. Riding stuff is just another thing I am good at!” said Pinkie, watching Frank choke up and then continued, “I got a rocking horse from my parents when I was three”

Frank deadpanned. “Are you doing that on purpose?”

“Doing what?”

“Nevermind just get on already!”

Making an impact...

Life has a way of turning out for the better.

Three days ago, Frank had to worry about things like paying the rent, not getting fired from his dead end job or his fear of ending as a old and lonely grouch. Now he was lying in a comfy beach chair on the sundeck of an luxurious airship, drinking selfmade alcoholic cocktails out of a bucket.

With Pinkie Pie.

“And then she told me I shouldn't do it anymore, because it's ‘morally questionable’. Can you believe the nerve of that mare?”

Frank nodded only half listening to her ramblings, taking another gulp from his bucket and thinking about how they got to this point.

When they arrived on deck earlier this day, he got rid of the armor and Pinkie instantly ran rampant on the ship.

While she was trying on armor from the armory, taking a dip in the hot tub, crawling into the cannons and a dozen other things Frank lost the overview over, he went to the storeroom to get her the promised ice cream.

They both sat down and started shoveling obscene amounts of ice cream down their throats. Frank hoped after she got her cold sugary treat, that Pinkie would finally chill a bit. But a Pinkie on sugar was an even more hyperactive Pinkie. Something he didn't thought possible.

Frank just gave up on following her, after she was practically bouncing like a ball all over the ship and he could only recognize Pinkie as an amorphous pink blob. Taking a seat on the sundeck with a cocktail bucket and a long straw, he lazily sprawled out and closed his eyes.

Until the shadow of a certain pink pony blocked his sunrays.

She had asked him what he was drinking and Frank just gave her a bucket, full of whatever he had mixed up at that time.

She didn't like it at first, saying it burned in her tummy and made her head feel funny. But after an hour and the twelfth or so round, she was lying beside him with an empty bucket as a hat.

“It's always ‘Pinkie don't do that!’ or ‘Pinkie that's too much!’ or ‘Pinkie what are you doing with my animals?’. She should change her name to Flutternag!”

Pinkie was a fun drunk. Losing control like regular Pinkie would, but with less sunshine and rainbows and more aggressive and outspoken.

“I mean seriously, the yellow bitch is one to talk to me about being ‘morally questionable’! I've seen the stuff she hides under her bed, the fricking hypocrite!”

And surprisingly mean!

“And don't get me started on Twilight Snarkle or Twiblight Sporkle… ah screw it, the purple book nerd princess thingy living in the wood thing!”

Frank snorted, while Pinkie stuck her head deep in the bucket she was holding and slurped loudly.

Feeling full of energy and the thirst for action after his rest, Frank got the urge to roam around town. “I'm getting kinda restless here Pinkie. Want to come with me, while I explore the town a bit?”

He got no answer from Pinkie and looked at her lying form, still with her head inside the bucket.

“Pinkie are you alright?”

His question was answered by a loud snoring noise. She had fallen asleep mid-slurp.

Deciding to let her sleep, Frank stood up and gently levitated the snoozing Pinkie on his beach chair. He then tried to lift the bucket from her head.

“Don't mess with my stuff, I'll mess you up…” mumbled Pinkie in her sleep doing some stabbing movements, before rolling away from Frank.

“Ok… Pinkamena seems to be a thing, have to be careful about that” thought Frank slowly backing away from Pinkie, who now held tightly onto the bucket.

He jumped off the airship, fast approaching the ground. In the last second, Frank opened his wings and stopped his fall. He had landed in the middle of the town center and according to the faces of the ponies walking around, made quite an entrance.

Ignoring the staring ponies, he walked casually down the street looking at the buildings he passed. Frank recognized quite a few shops from the show like Sugarcube Corner, the day spa Fluttershy and Rarity went to, the cafe Twilight and Spike had their lunch in ‘Ticket Master’, the bowling alley the crusaders played in and even ‘Quills and Sofas’.

In one of those shops he passed, Frank bought a camera, a baseball cap and sunglasses.

He felt like a tourist, sightseeing through town and pressing his face against the windows of houses and taking pictures of ponies like they were celebrities.

Lyra Heartstring's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, after he sat down beside her on the park bench human style and asked, if her favourite superhero was Superman or Batman.

And Frank never seen someone run as fast as Doctor Hooves, when he creeped behind him and screamed in a robotic tone ‘EXTERMINATE!’. Frank couldn't tell though, if it was because of him being the doctor or because he just simply startled the poor stallion.

He just stood there besides Bic Macintosh, who was selling apples at their stall and mimicked his stoic face saying ‘Eyup’ once in a while. The only movement of those two, came from Big Macintosh glancing over to Frank in silent confusion. Frank left after Big Mac offered him an apple to leave.

He tried it and he told Big Mac disappointed, that it tastes like a normal apple. Frank didn't have prove because he was too slow with the camera, but he swore at that moment Big Mac gave him the ‘You don't say?’ look.

Frank even found Derpy flying around town and to his delight she was delivering mail. He cringed though, after he accidently blinded her with the flash of his camera and she crashed right through a closed window.

“Just walk away slowly” thought Frank, backing away and whistling innocently.

His thoughts were interrupted by muffled sniffling and two soft speaking voices from a narrow alleyway.

“Come on Applebloom, cheer up! Diamond Tiara doesn't know what she is talking about!”

The sobs intensified and the second voice spoke up. “Yeah, don't listen to that nonsense. We will show her, once we get our cuite marks”

Looking in the alleyway, Frank saw a scene which broke his heart. There sat a disheveled, tear and snot-stained Applebloom, crying bitterly into the arms of her two best friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. Her little red ribbon was lying beside her, shred to pieces.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo looked up and noticed the shadow he casted into the alleyway.

“Princess Celestia, you're really here in Ponyville!” said Sweetie Belle before looking at Applebloom, who got her face deeply burrowed into Scootaloo's chest, “please can you help Applebloom?”

And to his horror, her eyes also went moist and her lip started quivering.

“Hnng! Oh my god stop that! I am dying here!” thought Frank getting closer to them.

Frank took of his sunglasses. “Tell me what happened”

“Diamond Tiara happened!” snarled Scootaloo angrily, “the bitch destroyed Applebloom's ribbon, a heirloom from her passed mother!”

“Scootaloo, language!” gasped Sweetie Belle.

“But she is a bitch, a giant one,” said Scootaloo and hold Applebloom tighter, “and after doing that she said that a poor, ugly and smelly blank flank like her shouldn't wear pretty things, because it's wasted on her”

Applebloom sobbed harder, being reminded of the incident and Sweetie Belle glared at Scootaloo for reopening the mental wound.

Frank didn't care for the following argument, the two of them had. He only had eyes for the sad farm filly. As he picked up the shredded ribbon, his hoof was shaking. Without a word, he enveloped it in his magic and with a flash of light, the ribbon was whole again.

“There you go, good as new. Now stop crying and tell me yourself what's bothering you”

Applebloom took the ribbon, rubbing her red and swollen eyes.

“What if she's right princess? What if I never get a cutie mark and remain a useless blank flank for the rest of my life? Without one, I will never amount to anything!”

Frank had heard enough. This whole cutie mark as a status symbol thing got on his nerves, ever since it was introduced in the show. These kids would now learn something for life.Time to unload, some of his conspiracy theories about the show.

“Ok kids get behind me and look at my butt… wow, that sounded way better inside my head… anyway take a look and tell me what do you see?”

The three crusaders got closer and narrowed their eyes, trying to figure out what Frank wanted from them.

“Your cutie mark?” said Sweetie Belle.

Frank smiled and levitated his baseball cap on her head. “Exactly, and what is my cutie Mark and what does it tell you about me?”

“It's a sun and it says, that controlling the sun is what your good at?” said Scootaloo.

This time he levitated his sunglasses, putting it on Scootaloo. “I, also can control the moon and you can't see that on my flank. I'm a princess and there is no crown, no jewels or anything telling you that. Two days ago I ate an amount of pies, equivalent of my bodyweight times ten. I'm certain not many ponies can do that, but can you see a pie there?”

“What are you getting at princess?” said Applebloom and wiped the snot from her muzzle with her hoof.

This was the moment of truth. No going back now. Frank got ready to blow their minds.

“Ok I see, I have to spell it out for you. Come here I tell you a secret,” whispered Frank signaling them to get closer. They huddled around him and he looked above his shoulders, like making sure nobody listened in.

“Don't freak out when I tell you this, but cutie marks are a bunch of bullshit!”

They stared at him with expressionless faces. It took a while for them to process what they just heard. But then the dam broke.

“WHAT!?” screamed the three fillies on the top of their lungs.

“Shhh!” hushed Frank theatrically, making it a show to look nervous, “nopony needs to know that!”

The little fillies looked positively shaken, glancing at each other and not sure what to make out of this revelation.

“What do you mean with that princess? How are they bullshit?” said Sweetie Belle and then put a hoof on her mouth in shock, when she noticed she had said a bad word.

“I mean just what I said. They appear totally at random and the ponies just put a meaning on them, when there is none. Like a horoscope or fortune telling, cutie marks are just make believe and don't mean a damn thing!”

“Prove it!” said Scootaloo in defiance flaring her wings.

Frank grinned. “Gladly, for one there are also ponies, who choose careers with no connection whatsoever to their cutie marks”

He looked around for a good example. His eyes fell on a certain gray pegasus with a blonde mane, flying more wobbly than before.

“Like, Derpy over there has bubbles as a cutie mark and works as a post mare. What sense does that make?”

“But why are there so many ponies, with matching ones?” said Sweetie Belle.

Frank loved it. They were asking the exactly right questions. He rembered this question in particular from a discussion board and the heated argument, he had with a fellow brony on this one.

“That's the funny part! Can't you see? They don't really do! They choose a career, matching to their cutie marks and got good at it. Not the other way around!”

“Ok, maybe I unload a little bit much on their little heartdrives, ah screw it let's go all out” thought Frank.

“Sweetie Belle,” said Frank pointing at her and she went rigid, “take your sister Rarity and how she got her cutie mark for example. When she found those gems in the rock, she could have just as easily decided to become a very successful miner. Being talented at finding valuable ore and having diamonds as a cutie mark, nopony would have questioned that decision”

He made a short pause, to emphasise the next part. “But she came to a different conclusion, one who made sense to her at the time and she stuck with it”

Frank could practically see the wheels turning in their heads. He waited with bated breath for them to get to a conclusion. They all did eventually and it shook every single one of them to the core.

“I think I have to sit down…” said Sweetie Belle turning green and took off the baseball cap, “so all we have done to this day was pointless and nothing actually mattered?”

Frank grimaced. “You still don't get it, do you? You can be whatever you want, before and even after you got your cutie mark”

“Why doesn't everypony know?” said Scootaloo pointing a hoof at Frank, trying to find a loophole.

“Would you tell a pony, he or she chose his or her destiny in life on a lie? How would that make someone like Applejack feel?”

“She would be devastated…,” said Applebloom, “but why tell us?”

“Because you haven't choosen anything yet and I noticed how you needlessly make your life harder worrying. Knowing what you do, you can focus on enjoying life without having the pressure of finding your destiny”

Frank raised an eyebrow. “I mean you did have fun doing stuff together, am I right?”

“Well, crusading in general was kinda fun and now we can safely skip the lame stuff!” said Scootaloo, shrugging with her shoulders.

“Even so,” said Applebloom gloomily kicking a pebble, “there is still the problem of Diamond Tiara bullying us about being blank flanks and we can't tell her what you told us for the reason you just said!”

“How many friends does she have?” said Frank scratching his chin.

Sweetie Belle thought about it for a second. “Only Silver Spoon I guess, the rest more or less tolerates her”

“Oh no,” groaned Scootaloo annoyed, “I know what you are gonna suggest. To show her how being friends with us is so much more fun than being a bully. We heard that advice a thousand times already!”

Frank liked that kid. She had the right idea of life. “Oh by Tartarus no! Actually, what I wanted to say is that there are two of them and three of you”

“So, what?”

“So Scootaloo, the next time Diamond Tiara and Silver Spon decide to bother you, you take those adorable little hooves of yours and bash their heads with them!”

The three of them were flabbergasted from that advice, most of all Applebloom. “My sister says violence is never an option! She says to turn the other cheek and to be the bigger pony!”

Frank deadpanned. “If you are content with being the moral winner maybe, I for one like to win in general”

“But we will get grounded if we do that!” whined Sweetie Belle flailing with her hooves.

“Probably,” said Frank dryly, “but during that time you can sit in your rooms with the knowledge, that those two are wetting themselves in fear of your return and will think twice before starting trouble again”

Scootaloo scratched her head. “Isn't that bullying?”

“Only if you don't stop,” said Frank matter-of-factly, “a bully is somepony who does bad things to ponies, who didn't do anything to him or her. Once they stop, you stop. It's just a matter of your willingness to go the distance against them. It's that simple”

The three crusaders looked at each other. In a funny kind of way, this made sense to them and they listened intently for the next part.

“Some ponies don't listen to rhyme or reason. The only way to overcome them is with having the longer breath, while you strangle each other!”

The three of them went pale and he hastily continued. “Only metaphorically speaking of course”

“Guess, we could try that,” said Applebloom and the other two nodded.

Frank smiled and then gave the three of them a bag, which he materialized out of thin air. “There you go, now cheer up and go buy yourself something”

He left them in the alley, continuing his walk through town. They opened the bag and it was full with bits. More money than any of them had ever seen in their life.

“We are rich!”

“Let's go to Sugarcube Corner and buy milkshakes!”

“I want a new scooter!”

“And a new toolbox!”

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo turned to Applebloom.

“What? I like tools!”

They all smiled and gave eachother a hoofbump.

“CUTIE MARK CRU…..”

They stopped, suddenly deep in thought. Applebloom spoke first.

“We need a new name…”

A few streets away...

Frank felt really good about himself, solving the problems of those fillies.

“Your Highness!”

Frank turned around, to see a pony with a grey mane and a tan coloured coat, running towards him from the distance. The voice was female, but Frank didn't recognize it. He waited for her to get closer to identify her.

Several feet away, Frank recognized the mare as Mayor Mare the mayor of Ponyville.

Out of breath from her short gallop, she gasped for air between words, making it difficult for Frank to understand what she was saying.

“Your… Highness… so good to… an honor… having… *gasp*...”

Several seconds later, she finally regained composure and coughed slightly.

“Ahem, beg your pardon princess. I heard the news of your stay in Ponyville and tried to find you as soon as possible. Let me be one of the first to tell you, what an honor it is to have your Highness as a guest in our humble town and furthermore...”

Frank's eyelids drooped as the flattering chatter turned to white noise. She was so obviously kissing his flank, he feared he would get stains on his coat from her lipstick.

“...Even more more so, for having you back for the Summer Sun Celebration next week”

At this he perked up and turned his full attention to her again. “Next Week?”

Mayor Mare stopped her tirade, looking confused at Frank. “Yes your Highness, next week. Six days to be exact. Isn't that the reason, why you are here?”

“Yeah, something like that,” said Frank thinking about the possibilities presented to him right now. He would have to get more information later from a different source, who was less suspicious of him.

But for now, he decided to have a little fun with Mayor Mare.

“Now that I think about you can help me. I want to visit one of my closest friends. Can you show me the way?”

Mayor Mare's face brightened, eager to show her worth to the princess. “Of course, your Highness! I know every citizen of Ponyville. Who is it?”

Seemingly absentminded, he fiddled with his camera. “Oh a lovely individual, who I value very highly and has been such a huge help for my priced pupil Twilight Sparkle. I think you know her, her name is Zecora”

Mayor Mare's eyes went wide. “The zebra?”

“Exactly, she is a wonderful mare,” said Frank with a huge grin, “it broke my heart when I heard she was forced to live in the Everfree Forest, fending for herself, only because of some superstitious nonsense! An atrocity, you of course fought with all of your might against, didn't you?”

Mayor Mare started sweating.

“Of course you did, why am I asking this?” said Frank waving it off with a smile, but then he glared at her, “you know If there is something, that I hate more than racism and bigotry, it's ponies who idly stand by and let it happen!”

Frank smacked the now stone silent Mayor Mare on the shoulder.

“Fortunately, this nasty affair has been resolved and she is now with no doubt, a valued and welcomed inhabitant of Ponyville”

Frank of course knew, that Zecora wasn't living in Ponyville. But nobody else knows, if Celestia knew that.

“To think, that there are ponies, who would let such a kind soul live in such circumstances. Honestly it makes my royal blood boil!”

Mayor Mare looked into the angry face of Frank gulping, but then he dropped the scowl as if nothing had happened.

“So anyway where is the house, you as a responsible leader of Ponyville provided for a mare of her calibre?”

Frank seen this look on Mayor Mare's face before. He himself looked like that a bunch of times. This was the face of someone, whose brain worked on max capacity to find a lie to get out of a sticky situation. She would lie right to his face and Frank couldn't wait to hear with what she would come up with.

“You see princess, I could bring you to her house, but she isn't home right now”

Retreat to fight another day. A classic, but it would require a lot of postprocessing on her part to make it work. Frank would play for now and make it a little bit more difficult for her.

“Oh that is a pity, but I am happy you are so close that she would tell you something like that”

“Yeah, we sure are” said Mayor Mare nervously avoiding eye contact.

“I tell you what, I will invite you both for tea at my ship and then you can tell me, how you two got such good friends”

“It would be my pleasure princess,” said Mayor Mare through her teeth, twitching with her left eye.

Frank had to try hard to surpress an evil smile. “I'm sure it is”

They both turned their heads, when a loud bang could be heard all over Ponyville.

Followed by an explosion and a large smoke pillar outside of town. He could see the front cannon of his ship smoking and on it a pink dot jumping up and down. Frank had a hunch what the target had been and got it confirmed seconds later.

“WHO'S MORALLY QUESTIONABLE NOW, FLUTTERNAG!?”

Pinkie really was a mean drunk.

“Good thing she asked me for a new house...” said Frank strutting back to the ship, leaving a wordless Mayor Mare standing on the street.

Later ponies would say, they saw a pink and yellow blur coming from the smoke pillar, heading with a primal scream towards the ship and the dancing pink pony on the cannon.

It took the whole weather team stationed that day, including Rainbow Dash, to keep Fluttershy from pummeling Pinkie senseless and to finally pull her off the drunk party pony.

Author's Note

Now I have to think about a new name for the CMC.

Any suggestions? :)

Ich bin ein Ber... ponyvillianer...

The next day…

Mayor Mare stood behind the podium on stage and in front of Ponyville Town Hall. This morning, she received a small note from the princess to organize a town meeting. Not wanting to risk disappointing her highness, she gathered the citizens of Ponyville in record time.

The crowd, now several hundred strong, was waiting to hear for what reason this spontanious gathering was issued. Between all those ponies, were three mares with different looks on their face.

A yellow pegasus with a pink mane had a look of embarrassment and shame. The next was a pink earth pony, wearing a neck brace and sporting two black eyes, looking grumpy. The last of them, a purple alicorn, just looked confused.

Twilight had finally overcome the embarrassment of the encounter with the princess and was ready to face her.

Only to get a visit from a frantic Applejack and Rarity, who told her that Fluttershy sent Pinkie to the hospital. After she was left alone drunk from the princess and destroyed Fluttershy's home with a cannon.

Twilight felt like in a funny dream, where nothing made sense but nobody acknowledged it.

She looked over at Pinkie and could see, that she was still a bit wobbly on her hooves. “Pinkie are you sure, you should walk around already? The doctor said, you had a pretty severe head trauma”

Pinkie glanced at Twilight, not turning her head because of the neck brace and then at Fluttershy, who flinched when she noticed the steely glance she was getting.

“I'm fine Twilight,” said Pinkie turning her attention to the podium, “according to Nurse Redheart there shouldn't be any lasting brain damage from the beating, I got from one of my best friends”

Fluttershy cringed and Twilight stepped in.

“Come on Pinkie no reason to argue, I thought we settled this. Mistakes were made on both sides. You got drunk and destroyed Fluttershy's home and she went overboard in beating you up”

Pinkie didn't turn. “I'm not arguing with her. If I did, Flutterthug over there would probably send me to the hospital again”

Twilight frowned. “What happened to the always happy and positive Pinkie?”

“I think she punched that right out of me, in addition to the ability to dream in color,” said Pinkie in a monotone voice, before loudly snorting snot up her nose.

Pinkie spat unceremonically on the ground and Twilight shared uncomfortable glances with Fluttershy.

“So anyway, any idea where Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash are?”

Fluttershy, happy to be able to say something, answered in an instant.

“I've met Cheerilee from her way from school and she said they had to come to get Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. I believe she said something about a fight. The poor fillies, I hope they are alright!”

“Yeah, now you suddenly care about the wellbeing of others...”

“Pinkie!”

"What?!"

Meanwhile at Sweet Apple Acres…

“Ouch… Applejack my ear, stop pulling so hard!”

The door of the farm house flew open and Applejack dragged a distraught Applebloom inside by the ear with her teeth.

Once inside, Applejack let go of Applebloom and the little filly dropped on the floor, rubbing her ear.

“Geez Applejack, was it really neccessary to drag me all the way home? I could have walked on my own you know”

Applejack glared at Applebloom and the little filly quickly closed her mouth. “You can count yourself lucky, I didn’t rip it off after the thing you pulled today in school. What were you thinking, beating up Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?”

“I only hit Diamond Tiara. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo shared Silver Spoon”

“Not the point young filly!” said Applejack stomping with her hoof, “and for that alone, you are grounded and no crusading for two weeks!”

“Yeah I figured,” said Applebloom walking past Applejack to the stairs.

“I don’t want to hear any… what?”

Applejack had been ready for their usual argument, where Applebloom pledged innocence and whined about Applejack being unfair to her. She was not prepared for Applebloom simply accepting her punishment, as if it doesn’t faze her.

“I’m in my room, call me when it’s time for my punishment chores”

Applebloom went up the stairs and a speechless Applejack could hear a door open and close. No tantrum, no argument and no door slamming.

“What the hay…?”

Inside her room, Applebloom laid on her bed staring at the ceiling. On her desk was the half written letter to Babs, in which she wanted to tell her what happened yesterday and in what direction the Cutie Mark Crusaders would go as of now.

Starting with a new name, the three of them weren’t able to choose yet. That was also the reason she hadn't finished the letter until now.

Applebloom thought about the earlier argument with Diamond Tiara and the following hoof-fight. She threw a few punches straight up through the air, when she remembered certain scenes in their encounter.

She had done it. With her own hooves she had accomplished, what no adult was able to do. Shutting up Diamond Tiara. There would be consequences no doubt, she knew that.

But nonetheless she got a huge smile on her face. “So worth it”

...Carrousel boutiqe…

After an earful from Rarity and the promise her parents would hear from this, Sweetie Belle got a similar treatment like Applebloom, being sent to her room. But instead of idly laying around, she decided to do something.

“...thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four…”

Something like practising to levitate her chair up and down.

She would get it arguably the worst in terms of punishment, because she actually used magic to fight Silver Spoon. Sweetie Belle didn't knew she had it in herself, but there she had been halfway through the fight and tasing the crap out of Silver Spoon with her horn.

“...fifty-six, fifty-seven…”

Silver Spoon had her pinned down on the ground, ready to pounce. Sweetie Belle was scared and had never been in a fight until then. More out of instinct than actual thought, she had poked Silver Spoon with her horn and just let go.

With shocking results and a smoking Silver Spoon.

“... ninety-two, ninety-three...”

Now she was asking herself, what else she could do if she put her mind to it.

...ponyvile ice cream parlor…

“And then the princess made me a Wonderbolt, can you believe it?”

Scootaloo sat there with Rainbow Dash, licking her ice cream and laughing internally.

Scootallo first thought, she would be in trouble like Applebloom and Sweetie Belle. But shortly after Rainbow had picked her up, she started to ramble about being a Wonderbolt soon.

Halfway to the orphanage, Scootaloo had offered Rainbow Dash to treat her to ice cream from Frank’s money, to celebrate the good news. Something Rainbow Dash happily accepted.

Two cups of ice cream and several Wonderbolt anecdotes later, Rainbow Dash had already forgotten why she picked up Scootaloo in the first place.

“I will be all like ‘Swoosh!’ and they will be like ‘OOOHH!’ and then I will be like ‘yeah I'm awesome!’”

“Wow, she really is not the brightest, isn’t she?” thought Scootaloo eating her ice cream, “I mean she is an awesome flyer, super cool and nice, but for Celestia’s sake she is getting outsmarted by a little filly!”

“Not sure, I want to be like that…,” mumbled Scootaloo, seeing her idol in a new light.

“You said something squirt?” said Rainbow Dash going cross-eyed and licked some cream from her nose.

Scootaloo shook her head. “No nothing, Rainbow Dash. I’ve got to go now though. Tell me the rest another time ok?”

“Sure thing Scoots, see ya!”

Scootaloo got up from her seat and left, waving goodbye. She turned the corner and looked at Rainbow Dash from afar.

“One, two, three...”

Rainbow Dash stopped eating her ice cream midbite, looking blankly ahead before slamming her hooves on the table.

“Crusaders! Fight! Ah buck it I forgot!”

Scootaloo deadpanned. “Really not that bright”

…back at the Ponyville Town Hall...

Frank was entering the stage, taking position behind the podium. With pleasure he noticed that Twilight, Fluttershy and Pinkie were in the crowd. He also noticed the stink eye, he was getting from Pinkie. At least Frank thought it was a stink eye, he couldn’t be sure because of it being black and swollen.

He harrumphed loudly and his face went serious.

“Citizens of Ponyville, time is short. As we speak a meteor, the size of manehattan is heading for Equestria. It will destroy anything and anyone on this planet. In collaboration with diamond dog delegates, I was able to build an underground bunker sturdy enough to withstand the blast. It has limited space though, so only the smartest, strongest and over all most valuable ponies are allowed entrance and continued existence. Their job will be to repopulate and re-civilize the planet”

He looked stony-faced into the crowd of now pale and dead silent ponies. Parents were holding their little fillies and Frank could swear he seen some of them faint.

Frank couldn’t surpress it any longer and started laughing, leaning heavily onto the podium hammering it with his hoof. “You should see your faces! I couln’t resist, I’m sorry!”

There were some scattered nervous laughs from the crowd.

“Ok, that was kinda funny. I give her that, but that doesn’t mean I forgive her,” said Pinkie with a little smirk on her face.

“No but seriously,” said Frank after catching his breath and wiping the tears out of his eyes, “I have an announcement to make which will affect all of Ponyville. Summer Sun Celebration is getting closer and I have found a flaw in it”

The crowd gasped on the prospect of their celebration, not meeting the standards of their princess.

“It’s only one day and that’s way to little to celebrate such an important event. So I decided to turn the Summer Sun Celebration into the Summer Sun Carnival!”

Frank got confused murmurs from the audience, but he could see Pinkie’s eyes sparkle all the way to where he stood.

“It will last the whole week, a monumental event with the glorious finale at the original day of Summer Sun Celebration. There will be many events that are already planned, but I’m sure our local party expert would be happy to contribute her ideas and put her unique spin on it. Unlimited budget of course!”

“BUCK YES, I AM!... AH MY NECK!... STUPID PIECE OF…!”

Frank patiently waited for Pinkie to stop cursing and writhing in pain on the floor and then continued.

“We will start tomorrow with setting up the booths and decorations, finishing the first day with the ‘Summer Sun Opening Costume Party’. Free drinks for everypony in costume!”

The crowd exploded in cheers and stomped with their hooves, while Frank left the stage waving.

“that’s all folks, more tomorrow I guess. You can go back to your work now or whatever it is you do!”

The crowd dispersed and the ponies were heatedly talking with each other, imagining what the following day would bring. Until Frank grinned and walked back to the podium saying something in a singsong voice.

“Unless some of you want to stay and hear me talk about my memories of filly Twilight Sparkle?”

Some people say in certain extreme situations, time seemingly had slowed down for them. Like a person watching an imminent car crash or seeing something fall towards them. This was something Twilight experienced right now.

“...So many? Well it all started, when I found her playing in the royal dumpster…”

Not able to form a coherent thought, she just watched the lips of her mentor moving in slow motion, every syllable smacking her like a jackhammer.

“... after I bought Twilight from her parents for a sack of sunflower seed…”

This couldn’t be happening. Princess Celestia was publicly embarassing her with false stories of her childhood. This must be a bad dream!

Twilight punched herself in the face.

“... wetting the bed until she graduated from high school…”

It was no dream. But why? Celestia wouldn’t do that to her, not her caring and benevolent idol. This was like watching an imposter, playing Celestia badly.

Imposter...

Twilight’s eyes went wide and without noticing, her hooves carried her to the podium.

“... and after unsuccessfully burning the soaked… Arggh!”

The eyes of the whole audience went wide and they gasped in shock, when a purple blast smacked Frank right in the face and he flew backwards through the curtain of the stage.

“Charade is over changeling! This spell of mine in addition of doing damage, also breaks your disguise!”

Twilight jumped on stage, flared her wings and ripped the curtain aside. “Come forth coward and answer for your crimes!”

And her blood ran cold.

Leaning against the wall of the town hall, was a bloody Frank still in Celestia’s body. A nasty looking gash on his head and eyes open, not moving and breathing flatly.

“Oh my god she killed the princess!” screamed an older mare from the crowd.

In panic, Twilight ran to Frank to shake him. “Princess Celestia, say something!”

Frank stirred slowly and his eyes focused on the purple alicorn. The following words out of his mouth were hoarse and barely audible.

“...Twilight my precious student…”

Tears started to stream down Twilights cheeks. “Princess, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…”

“I cherished the time, we had together. Would you listen to my last words?” said Frank putting a hoof sluggishly on her head.

“Of course princess, anything for you!”

Frank stared deep in Twilight’s eyes with a sorrowful look on his face.

Which turned instantly in a deadpan look, when he bopped her nose with his hoof.

“Honk!”

Twilight yelped in surprise and stumbled backwards. When she got up, Frank was already on his hooves again, healing his gash with magic and removing the blood from his coat.

He took a huge theatrically bow to the crowd and smiled.

“Citizens of Ponyville, I hope you enjoyed the little act which my former student and I prepared for your amusement!”

Frank stepped beside Twilight and turned her to the silent crowd, before whispering with clenched teeth and forcing a smile.

“Smile for the crowd Twilight, they are this close to hang you for treason!”

Twilight tried to, but it looked more like baring her teeth at them than anything else.

“Needs work but it will do for now. I will forgive you this time, because I had it coming”

Frank waved to the now cheering crowd with a smile, but was still talking quietly to Twilight, so only she could hear it. “But believe me, the next time you pull something like that, I will show you personally how much of the real deal I am. Did I make myself clear?”

“Yes princess,” said Twilight still forcing a smile for the crowd.

“Good girl, now laugh like I said something funny and then we will end this on a high note”

Later…

“Note to self, don’t mess with Twilight for a while,” thought Frank rubbing his head on the way back to the ship.

He had made it look harmless, but the truth was that blast had almost killed him. The prospect of an angry super-powered Twilight out for his head, wasn’t something he was looking forward to.

“It’s so much fun to tease her though, what a shame…”

A sudden shiver ran down his spine and he looked around, feeling like he was being watched. His eyes fell on a lonely figure staring him in the face.

One eye at least.

“Hello Derpy, how can I help you?”

Two envelopes were wordlessly smacked in his face. He picked the letters up from the ground and could see Derpy leave out of the corner of his eyes.

“One more for my ‘ponies who hate Frank list’ I guess,” thought Frank opening the first letter.

Frank could barely read it. The penmanship of the letter was terrible and had crossed out words all over.

Dear Ounty Aunty,

hOw are you? I’m fine.

Moonbutt Luna is mean to me, but having all that extra stuff makes it all good again. My new bed is twice as big as before and is really fUn to jump on.

I’mh struggling through the meetings and sametimes sometimes I forget how to arrange certain words or how they should sound like.

BUt thEn I remember the little eXercises and prepared phrases you dought taught me, when I was liTTle and the words come home back to me.

I’m doing me my best and I hOpe this letter is readable. Nopepony was there to check it for me, because you usually do that for my me.

But you know that.

Yours,

Plueblod Blueblood

Frank put down the letter with eyes as big as saucers. This revelation and his misjudgement of the snooty Prince Blueblood hit him completetly out of left field.

He thought Blueblood was your run-of-the-mill rich jerk, but the truth could not have been further away. The expensive clothes, the excessive amount of ships and the blatant showing-off of his stuff looked way differently, once you look at it from the point of a kid being happy about his toys.

The reason Blueblood behaved like a spoiled little child, was because he mentally was one.

A grownup pony with the mind of a child, who learned to be part of the upper crust, despite being mentally behind most of them. Of course he would be egotistical and inconsiderate to others, which kid wasn’t from time to time?

“I’m so glad I did something nice for him, otherwise I would feel horrible right now”

He hoped the second letter would be more cheery, or else Frank would be in desperate need of a stiff drink.

Dear Princess Celestia,

We can’t thank you enough for anything you have done for our family.
Your generosity, enabled a life in wealth and prosperity for us.

Should you ever need help, don’t forgot you have friends in us.

best regards

The Iron Family

Frank looked at the enclosed picture, a family photo with at least thirty minotaurs of all ages smiling and the male ones flexing their muscles. Scratching his head, he put the letters away and continued his walk.

Despite the little incident with Twilight and the revelation about Blueblood, everything went just as planned. The pieces were set and now the only thing he had to do was to follow through with the next step.

He sighed heavily, looking in the sky. It would be easier, if he wouldn't be so bad at it.

“Now comes the difficult part...”

Canterlot Castle later that afternoon…

“I don’t think that strangling Prince Blueblood did help to bring the point across, your Highness,” said Trusty walking besides a livid Luna.

“Maybe not, but it helped me all the more,” said Luna and stopped before her chambers, “did you hear how he talked to me? Like I was five years old!”

She kicked the door open in frustration and it flew off the hinges. Luna shrugged, she would get that fixed tomorrow, today she just didn’t care anymore.

“I call it in for today Trusty, no more visitors. I will lower the sun from my balcony”

“As you wish princess”

Luna entered her room and put the door provisorily back in it’s place with her magic.

The last days without her sister and as ruling entity, have been nothing short than a nightmare. Endless negotiations and meetings, bickering fools and snooty nobles with Prince Blueblood as their number one spokespony and no recognition for her efforts from anypony.

Also some sort of construction work had started in the castle, which wouldn’t stop even at night and didn’t let her sleep very well. When she asked what the purpose was, the workers only said it was for the improvement of the castle.

The castle was pretty old, so Luna didn’t question it any further.

She was more than once tempted to just call it quits, but then Luna would remember the encouraging words of her sister and powered through all obstacles. She would also sometimes remember the steamier part of their conversation and get flustered, before banishing it into the back of her mind.

Her thoughts were interrupted, when a familiar flash lit up her room and a scroll appeared before her. Recognizing it as a letter from her sister, she opened it eagerly to find out, how she was doing.

Dear Lulu,

I’m glad to tell you that I safely arrived in Ponyville and had opportunity to get settled in. I took one of Blueblood’s ships, because he has so many he wouldn’t miss one.

Luna laughed at that, but stopped suddenly at the next part.

Please take it easy on him, he doesn’t know any better. Just trust me on this!

But anyway I digress. I miss you and wished you were here with me. Especially now after I made a huge announcement in Ponyville, concerning the Summer Sun Celebration.

Luna raised an eyebrow, wondering what her sister could mean.

I stretched the festivities to a whole week, starting tomorrow and I really want you to be part of this. So please come to Ponyville.

It was tempting, but she couldn’t just leave her post. What would the nobles think?

I’ve known you long enough to know, that you have doubts right now. Just call it an official visit to bypass the formalities. I’ve done that plenty of times as an excuse to visit other places.

I hope to see you soon.

with love
Tia

P.S. Enclosed you will find some pictures, which might help you in your decision making. Especially the last one!

Luna put the letter down and focused her attention to the stack of pictures, that came with it.

She browsed through them and couldn’t surpress a laugh. There were at least two dozen pictures of her sister with ponies from Ponyville, doing silly things. She recognized quite a few ponies from her visit to Ponyville on Nightmare Night and thought fondly of the events of that day.

Deep in thought she didn’t register at first, what she was looking at on the last picture.

But then her head went beet-red.

Luna had a picture in hoof of her sister, laying lascivious in a king sized bed and giving her bedroom eyes. It had written “See you soon!” on it in big ornate letters and a little red heart as a exclamation point.

She really had to go to Ponyville now.

“But not for that reason!” said Luna loudly to herself and looked frantically around, as if to appease potential listeners and quickly hid the photo under her bed.

Author's Note

Next chapter, not sure how good it turned out this time (But I'm sure you will happily tell me ;) )

Added the sex tag, because the jokes got kinda steamy and I don't want to limit myself for the future.

Table for two...

The Everfree Forest. An ancient place of mystery and wonder, which inhabits creatures and dangers most ponies only have to think about to get cold shudders. Ponies would go in there, but nopony would without a good portion of fear and caution.

“What are you looking at Garfield? Bam! Right in the face!”

Unless you are an immortal alicorn princess.

“I don’t know what everyone’s problem is with this place, once you get used to the fact that everything wants to kill you it gets quite cozy,” said Frank walking through the Everfree Forest, leaving another magically paralyzed manticore behind him.

At his first steps into the forrest this morning, practically every critter-eating inhabitant came out of the woodwork and tried to get a piece of that huge flank of his. That changed pretty fast though, once he started blasting every moving thing in eye sight to high heavens.

When he finally arrived his destination at Zecora’s hut you could have heard a pin drop, because everything alive was in hiding from the terrible white horse thingy of destruction.

Frank was about to knock on the door, but then he heard a heated argument from inside and the familiar voice of a certain mayor from Ponyville.

“Please reconsider, so much is at stake here most of all my political career!”

“And you can beg until backwards you bend, I’m not playing your best friend!”

“Oh for crying out loud, you’re not doing it for nothing! I can give you anything you want! How about money or a nice stallion, maybe a nice stallion with money? I have connections to make things happen, just say the word!”

“I heard enough, now get out before I have to get rough!”

Frank decided, this would be the best moment to make his presence known and knocked on the door. “Zecora it’s me Princess Celestia, I need to talk with you!”

He listened with an ear pressed at the door and could hear frantic tumbling around, followed by the sound of smashing glass, splintering wood and finally fast departing hoofsteps behind the hut.

“Get back her you crazy weirdo, you smashed my fricking window! Once I get you I will, instill… ah screw the rhyming, I will kick your flank you hear me!?”

Seconds later the door opened and the zebra, known as Zecora stared back at Frank. She tried real hard getting into the role again. “Oh princess, it’s nice to have business to impress you and,... I’m sorry your Highness but I’m not in the mood today and have to get a new window. What is it that you want?”

And failed miserably.

“Trouble in paradise my homie? I get you girl, for shizzle my nizzle!” said Frank flailing his hooves and doing a gangster pose.

Zecora deadpanned. “Beg your pardon?”

Frank harrumphed. “Nothing. I heard you have quite the expertise in potions and tinctures, so I want to request your services”

“Sure depends on what you want,” said Zecora, letting Frank enter, “I don’t sell dangerous stuff to anyone as a matter of principle”

Zecora got closer to Frank, looking him deep in the eyes. “And to make myself clear, I’m telling you the same thing as I did Pinke. That includes any form of mind-altering stuff, so don’t ask in the first place!”

“Very interesting,” thought Frank before answering.

“Oh nothing of the sort. I just want general things to increase the appeal of my appearance, like a potion for good breath or a good herbal shampoo. You know that kind of stuff”

Zecora’s face relaxed, turning into a thinking look. “Sure I have several potions, cremes and tinctures for that. If you wait here, I prepare a package of my best stuff right away”

Frank sat down on his haunches. “That would be great, because I have an appointment at the spa and a hairdresser this morning too. I will be finished just in time to make it to the grand opening of the carnival and the arrival of Luna.

Zecora stopped mid-walk and turned to Frank with a questioning look. “What carnival?”

“Did nopony invite you? I said that to Mayor Mare to screw with her, but that it’s actually true is kinda worrying. Then consider yourself officially invited to the festivities by me”

A confused looking Zecora went into her cabinet, rummaging through her stock. Meanwhile Frank sat there and let his gaze wander around the hut. It stopped on a certain object he recognized and his eyes went wide.

Several minutes later, Zecora appeared with a huge basket. “There you go your Highness, a selection of my best mixtures. Everything is labeled and comes with instructions, so there shouldn’t be any problems”

“Tell you what,” said Frank eyeballing the basket in his hooves, “whatever it was you wanted to charge me for that, I double it and pay the window, if you let Mayor Mare in the dark about my knowledge that she was here”

Zecora looked at her smashed window. “Sounds tempting, but what would that accomplish?”

“Making her batshit crazy?”

Zecora’s eyes narrowed. “I’m in”

“Wonderful, send the bill for everything to Pinkie and she will pass it under ‘others’ in the carnival budget”

And just like that Frank stormed out of the hut, leaving the door open. Zecora scratched her head and walked by a certain cupboard of hers. She stopped and took a few steps back to look at it. Something was off, the cupboard looked somewhat different.

She went through her mental checklist of things that should be there and her eyes got wide, while turning her head quickly to the open door.

“Did she just raid my crib?”

Ponyville Town Hall...

Pinkie was standing on a large box with a megaphone, wearing a camouflage helmet. Ever since she was appointed by Frank to help him organize the festivities, she was full of vigor again.

“Get your lazy flanks moving, I don’t pay you for dilly-dallying around!”

Others would might have called it madness.

“We will get this done by lunch so help me her Highness! That’s the reason Celestia created donkeywork!”

Pinkie turned to the donkey standing next to her. “No offense”

“None, taken,” said the donkey with a smile.

The smile vanished though, when Pinkie kicked him off stage. “Good, now get the back to work!”

All over Ponyville you could see ponies, donkeys, griffons, minotaurs and even diamond dogs, working like crazy to get the festival going. If you could do labour and wanted money, Ponyville was the most lucrative place in the world right now.

Pinkie pointed at a group of resting pegasi and griffons. “You there, if you have time to sit around, then you can take those flyers with the program for the week and spread it around town!”

She got a collective groan and angry glares.

“Stop your whining featherheads, double pay for everyone who is done earlier and triple for the first one! In fact I swear everyone here won’t have to work another day in his life, once this is over!”

Pinkie watched the group take off into the sky with a speed that would put Rainbow Dash to shame. She took a deep breath, taking in the scenery before her. This would be it. This would be Pinkie’s greatest achievement as a party pony. Her magnum opus which would make her a legend, as the greatest party planer of all time.

“Rejoice my fellow instruments of fun, today we write history!” said Pinkie through the megaphone.

They were all far too occupied with their work to notice, that Pinkie’s hair had lost their curliness and was now straight. Also nobody heard the next part she silently mumbled to herself.

“Even if it kills me…”

Sugarcube Corner…

Mr. Cake stood behind the counter, wiping it with a wet towel. Business had been slow today because of the preparations, so he tried to keep himself occupied with little tasks to fight the boredom. The only customers he had all day and who stayed the whole morining, were two fillies he knew as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

They came in with pretty new dresses and a bag full of bits, dropping it unceremonically on the counter. He recoiled slightly when he got a closer look at them.

Silver Spoon’s coat looked like it was singed and had missing spots of fur all over. But Diamond Tiara was much worse to look at. Her face was all swollen and blue and she could barely look out of her left eye. “Holy moly, what happened to you two little fillies? Who did this to you?”

“None of your business!” said Diamond with a little lisp, “do you want our money or not?”

Mr. Cake slowly nodded and prepared a platter of sweets for those two, complimentary with two chocolate milkshakes. “Here you go, the shakes are on the house. You look like you need it”

Diamond Tiara ignored him, but Silver Spoon gave a small smile, before they went to a table and started eating. And they stayed like this pretty much the whole morning, eating silently and taking a slurp from their drinks from time to time.

Silver Spoon decided to break the silence after a while. “Come on Diamond cheer up, it doesn’t look so bad. A few days and you will barely notice it anymore”

The moment she said it, Silver Spoon regretted it. She knew what would come now. So she didn't flinch when Diamon Tiara yelled at her. “Who cares about some scratches and bruises, you know I had worse! I’m more miffed about what this indicates!”

“And that would be?”

“They don’t fear us anymore. We lost the one thing, who kept them under us,” said Diamond Tiara and put her drink down on the table.

“Be honest Diamond, torturing those three lost it’s novelty anyway. Why don’t we just quit?”

Diamond Tiara couldn't believe what she was hearing. Especially Silver Spoon should be able to understand and support her in this. “Have you forgotten why we do this? Because I’m sure as Tartarus don’t!”

“Calm down Diamond,” said Silver Spoon while looking to the counter to see, if Mr. Cake heard them. To her relief he didn’t.

Diamond Tiara didn’t care about that though. “No I won’t, not when it seems like I’m the only one left who gives a crap. You maybe have forgotten, but I remember the day you came to me in tears because…”

“No need to remind me. I was there,” said Silver Spoon with more venom in her voice than intended.

Diamond Tiara did it anyway. “And what came next, hmm? On the day the same thing happened to me? ”

“I know Diamond”

She knew where this conversation was headed, but Silver Spoon knew also that once Diamond Tiara started rambling, there was no stopping her. “I remember how broken we were and how hard it was to find something to make it all worthwhile again!”

Silver Spoon took of her glasses and rubbed her eyes. “It’s just so petty, Diamond”

“Who cares Silver? We found something and I’m not letting go of it! With or without you, I will continue this!” said Diamond Tiara huffing in defiance, but then the look in her eyes softened, "but I would rather do it with you than anyone else, so please don't quit on me now!"

Sighing heavily, Silver Spoon looked away. When she turned back to Diamond Tiara again, she had a little smirk on her face. “What do you have in mind?”

“Finally,” said Diamond Tiara smacking her hoof on the table, “here look, I got the program for this Summer Sun Carnival”

She took the flyer from Diamond Tiara and skimmed throught the planned events for the week. “I see the… oh I get it, clever really. But how are you gonna get them to do this?”

Diamond took the flyer back and stuffed it into her dress. “Trust me that’s the easy part and just for you I have something special planned for Sweetie Belle”

“You’re a real friend Diamond,” said Silver Spoon lifting her glass.

Diamond clinked her glass against Silver Spoon's. “You and me against the world and till the end Silver. To whatever end”

Outside Ponyville...

“Thank you so much Applejack, for coming with me to look at the new house. The hotel the princess paid for was nice, but I want to live close to my animals to tend to them”

Fluttershy had got a visit from Mayor Mare this morning, who told her that her house was finished. She met Applejack on the way and the farm pony decided to join her.

“How did they build it so fast? It’s been less than two days, since the princess said she would get you a new house and they are already finished?”

Fluttershy shrugged with her shoulders. “I asked the mayor about that, when she told me it’s ready. She only said that they spared neither trouble nor expenses to make it happen and since the old one was obliterated, they saved time on bulldozing it”

“Makes sense I guess, we should see it any second now”

They both turned into the road to her home and could see Fluttershy’s new house. It was more a mansion than a house though, three storeys high and thrice as wide as her old house, painted in cream color and a huge garden in front.

“Oh my,” said Fluttershy grasping the key she got from the mayor tighter.

Applejack tipped her hat over her eyes and mumbled to herself. “I really need to think of something I want from her”

Fluttershy turned the key in the lock of the large wooden door and opened it. They stepped into a large foyer, furnished with expensive looking furniture. The eyecatcher however, was the large painting of Fluttershy wearing a dress and holding a glass of wine.

Slowly they walked acroos the room to the other door. They heard something on the other side and opened it. Entering a large living room, Fluttershy and Applejack saw Discord sitting in a wing chair before a burning fireplace. He was wearing a fez and had a pipe in his mouth, which emitted chocolate bubbles.

“Oh dear Fluttershy it’s so good to see you. I really like what you've done with the place. Did you win in the lottery or something?”

Fluttershy smiled being greeted so friendly, but Applejack's face went sour for being ignored. “Hello Discord nice to see you too and no, I didn’t win the lottery. The princess bought me a new house, when I told her you live here”

Discord raised an eyebrow. That wasn’t something he expected, Celestia usually wouldn’t play favourites with her subjects.

Fed up with being ignored Applejack joined the conversation. “She’s on vacation here to relax from her stressful live in Canterlot and judging her recent behaviour she needs it badly”

Discord smirked. Everytime he heard Tia had some problems, he was a happy guy. “Do tell. What is wrong with her?”

Applejack took a deep breath.

“She came with a huge airship and battle armor, had Twilight poop herself, made Rainbow Dash a Wonderbolt, promised Rarity a princess title, called me dull and boring, got Pinkie Pie drunk and let her destroy Fluttershy’s home…”

“uhm…” said Discord, trying to get a word in but Applejack took a another deep breath and continued.

“... after she promised Fluttershy a new one and had it built in a day, announced a fake end of the world before the whole town and laughed, the Summer Sun Celebration is a week long now...”

Applejack stopped, thinking about if she forgot something and Discord was rendered speechless.

“Oh, and Fluttershy sent Pinkie to the hospital”

Fluttershy gasped. “Applejack it was in the spur of the moment! I deeply regret it and… Discord?”

Discord had taken off his fez and had put his pipe away, staring on the ground. What by Tartarus was going on here? He was barely a week gone, to have some fun on the other side of the planet with the zebra tribes. These shamans knew how to have a good time.

He would have to look into that later. Maybe visit her at a later date.

“Did you have an opportunity to inspect the house?” asked Fluttershy, taking a look around in the large living room.

Discord stood up from the wing chair and stretched his limbs.“No, I just teleported to where I usually would and appeared in the middle of this room. I found an interesting book and let it read for me”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you mean you read it?”

Discord snapped with his fingers. “I know what I said”

The book lying on the floor, levitated besides him and started flapping open and closed like a mouth. A shrieking and high pitched voice came from the book, reciting it’s content.

“... RUBBING OUR HEATED BODIES AGAINST EACH OTHER, ENJOYING THE LUSTY EMBRACE. TASTING AND EXPLORING ME, PUSHING ME TO THE BRINK OF HEAVENLY BLISS. THEN HE INSERTED HIS GIANT…”

The narration was suddenly interrupted, by a squeaky battlecry and a bright red Fluttershy swinging down a pickaxe on the poor book. It smashed to the ground, where she continued beating on it until nothing more than confetti was left.

“Interesting reading material my dear, I didn’t picture you as the closet pervert. Not that I mind,” said Discord wiggling his eyebrows

Applejack came forth behind the couch. “Where the hay did you get that pickaxe?”

Airspace above Ponyville...

Luna’s carriage was approaching Ponyville right at midday. She looked over the town and couldn’t believe how much the appearance had changed. Every inch of it was plastered with decorations, booths and rides. They had to fly around a giant ferris wheel, to get to the town hall. This was the place, her sister wanted to meet her.

The wheels touched the ground and the two guards, who had pulled the carriage opened the door to let her out.

“Good work you two, you are excused for now to mingle with the crowd if you so desire”

The two guards saluted and happily sauntered away, right to the next booth with drinks.

“Luna!”

Being called, her head turned around and she recognized her sister approaching.

Her coat was practically sparkling, radiating a pure white and her mane waved even more with brilliance. From the shine of her hooves, Luna could tell her sister had a very recent hooficure.

Frank had gone the extra mile to look extra good and Luna looked at herself, suddenly feeling a little bit underdressed. “Hello sister, it’s good to…”

“For you,” said Frank shoving a large bouqet of roses in her face, interrupting her mid-sentence.

Luna looked at the flowers in her hooves and then took a bite, chewing with satisfaction. “Thank you Tia, a little snack does wonders after a long trip”

Frank’s face was frozen in place, analyzing what just happened. Then he facehoofed.

“Ponies and flowers, yeah of course”

“Something wrong sister?” said Luna, who just finished her little flowery snack.

Frank stood straight, wearing a happy smile. “Nothing Luna, I’m just happy you could make it in time for the grand opening. Come on, it will start any moment!”

They both walked to the town center through the giant crowd of ponies, donkeys, griffons, diamond dogs, minotaurs and many other species. There was a huge stage and a smiling Pinkie standing on it. The smile was bit on the creepy side though.

“Did she do something with her hair?” asked Luna and Frank only shrugged, but internally decided to lock his doors from now on.

“Citizens of Ponyville, my name is Pinkamena Diana Pie and this is gonna be my legacy I leave for future generations. It did cost a lot of blood, sweat and tears, mostly sweat though. But now all of this lies in the past and we can all unite for the glory of fun! The festivities are officially openend!“

Pinkie raised her hooves in the air, while fireworks started all over town and the crowd went nuts.

“Definitely locking my door from now on”

One hour later...

“I can’t believe you cheated at the ring toss with your magic to get that teddy bear!” said Luna, balancing the huge plushie on her back.

Frank snorted in annoyance and took a swig from the levitating cup beside him, before throwing it in the trash. “You wanted the damn thing! And those games are rigged in the first place, I mean you saw how many times I tried. Statistically one of them should haven been a hit!”

Luna rolled her eyes. “Anyway I have to praise you sister, this carnival of yours is off to a great start. I mean look at all the happy faces!”

They both turned a corner and away from the town center. Frank glanced at Luna, who let the teddy bear fly around to the amusement of a group of little fillies.

“Today has barely started Luna, we still have to get your costume for the party tonight from Carousel Boutique. Thats where we are going right now”

“What costume?” said Luna in surprise, dropping the giant plushie on the fillies.

Frank lifted the plushie with his own magic and gave it back to Luna. “One of the costumes, I let Rarity made for the grand costume party tonight"

Luna deep in thought didn't notice, that one of the fillies was holding for dear life on the teddy bear. But Frank did and flicked the filly off the plushie with his magic when Luna wasn't looking.

“Did she do all those costumes by herself Tia?”

Frank shook his head. “She got clearence to the budget, to hire helpers. Of course I wouldn’t let her make costumes for hundreds of ponies all on her own, but I told her to do yours personally!”

“You already picked mine?” asked Luna and stopped besides Frank in front of Carousel Boutique.

Frank knocked on the door. “You’ll see”

The door was opened by a tired looking Rarity. “Princess Celestia, Princess Luna so good to see you come in! I presume you are here for your…”

Luna recognized that Rarity was searching for the right word and tried to help out. “Outfit?”

Rarity stopped walking and had a scrunchy face for moment. “Yeah I guess you could call it that Princess Luna. I made several on your sisters orders for you to choose from. Please right this way to the dressing room”

Slightly confused, Luna followed Rarity, who opened the door of the dressing room for her. Frank was meanwhile, sitting there on a cushion waiting for Luna, to come out.

He didn’t have to wait long.

Costume 1:

“I don’t get why dressing as a hospital employee is considered a fitting costume. And the shortness of this skirt robs it of all purpose”

“Hmm, hard to say,” said Frank looking at the pink nurse outfit stroking his chin, “turn around for me and show me from behind...”

Costume 2:

“Ok, I get the bunny ears for dressing up as an animal. But what does the black corset, the white collar and the red bowtie add to that?”

Frank waved it off. “It’s a fashion thing Luna, don’t worry about it”

Luna glanced at Rarity, who silently mouthed “I don’t know what she’s talking about!”.

Costume 3:

“This costume is highly inaccurate.The armor barely covers anything, all my vital parts are exposed!”

“Yes they are Luna, yes they are”

Costume 4:

The door of the dressing room opened with force.

“This is getting ridiculous sister! This costume is only a saddle, some kind of lace panty and four striped purple socks… Tia?”

Frank was sitting there, desperately gnawing on his hoof and repressing an excited squeak.

“Are you alright?”

“Me?” said Frank smacking himself on the cheek, “yeah I’m fine, just a little bit hungry”

Rarity was picking up the costumes Luna already tried on. “Then you should get something to eat right away. I have several more costumes for your sister, some of them more conservative in taste. If you want I can send them to where you're staying and you can choose in quiet before tonight.

Luna turned to Frank. “Sounds good to me, I don’t fell like choosing now anyway. I will stay on the ship with my sister for the time being. Just let me get out of this one and we can be on our way”

Luna slowly took off the socks and the saddle and wiggled out of the panty, letting it slip down to her ankles and kicked it off her hoof.

Directly on Frank’s horn and over his eyes, obfuscating his sight.

“Sorry sister, didn’t mean to hit you… why are you chewing on your cheeks?”

Frank took a deep shaky breath. “No reason Luna, let’s go I made reservations for us in a restaurant”

He left the room as fast as possible and someone who looked closely, would have seen a bright red color on his face. Too bad for Luna that she didn't.

“Wait for me, I have to get Mr. Teddy and take that thing of your face you look ridiculous!”

Rarity watched the two of them leave with a blank face. But once they left her store, she squealed and ran out of the back door.

“I can’t believe it what I’ve just seen, wait until the others hear of that!”

Some time later…

“When you said you made reservations at a restaurant, I didn’t have something like this in mind”

Frank and Luna were sitting on velvet cushions in a secluded corner of a high-class noble restaurant. A single burning candle stood on their table and a band was playing romantic music.

Frank looked around, inspecting the decor. “You don’t like it? I heard quite a lot of good things from the ponies at the spa about this place. We can leave if you want”

“No it’s fine really, just a bit weird sitting with you in this kind of place” said Luna resting her head on her left hoof.

“Oh, so I’m not good company? I’m sorry to hear that,” said Frank feigning to be hurt.

Luna’s head almost slipped off her hoof. “I didn’t say that why do you always… you are teasing me aren’t you?”

“Guilty as charged”

She bopped him on the nose. “Well, stop that it’s annoying!”

“Ok, ok,” said Frank and rubbed his nose, “change of subject. Tell me something about yourself, how are things in Canterlot right now?”

Frank rested his head on both of his hooves, leaning in and giving her his full attention. Luna thought about it for a second and answered.

“Well I’m getting along better with ponies and feel more comfortable around them”

Frank tilted his head, trying to look innocent. “Anyone you get along with particular good?”

Luna narrowed her eyes in confusion. That was an odd question for her, why would she get along with a single someone especially good? Unless…

“Are you asking me, if I’m seeing someone right now?”

“Well, do you?” said Frank leaning a bit forward, waiting for her answer.

Luna fidgeted nervously with her hooves. “No sister I don’t. You know I never cared much for male company and dating hasn’t been high on my priority list. Not that I wouldn't, if the the right pony would cross my path”

She was almost blinded by the huge toothy white grin, Frank gave her right then.

They got interrupted by the waitress, a white earth pony with a brown mane put in a ponytail. “Good day to you, my name is Swift Hoof and I’m happy to be your personal waitress for the day. Do the princesses want something to drink before ordering?”

“A glass of water will be fine for the moment. What do you want Tia?” said Luna, turning to Frank.

“A bottle of your best wine. And keep em coming, I feel thirsty today!”

That bold order surprised the waitress, but she recovered quickly. “Most certainly your Highness, I will return shortly with your drinks and the menu cards”

Luna deadpanned. “You are drinking a lot lately”

“I like the taste”

Meanwhile at the opposite corner of the restaurant, sat four mares observing the two princesses with interest.

Once Rarity had left Carousel Boutique, she gathered all of her friends she could find. Only Pinkie and Applejack were missing. They had entered through the backdoor and used Twilight's princess status to get a table from where they had a good look on them.

“See I told you they were on a date. Can you believe it, this is so scandalous!” said Rarity practically swooning all over the table.

Rainbow Dash peeked over her menu card. “I don’t really see it to be honest. I mean look at Princess Celestia, she just chugged down the whole bottle in one go and Luna doesn’t look amused. What do you think Twilight?”

“I think we shouldn’t be here spying on them, I have enough bad credit with Celestia as it is!” said Twilight nervously looking around.

Fluttershy nodded her head. “Twilight is right, we shouldn’t intrude into their privacy like that. I mean I wouldn’t like it, when someone spied on me while...eep”

“Shh!” said Rarity, silencing them with a glare, “they are about to order!”

Back at the VIP table, Frank and Luna had both the menu card in hooves. Frank didn’t like what he was seeing. Not one bit. Everything had hay in it and that was something he couldn’t enjoy even after he turned a pony.

Luna had already ordered a salad and the waitress was watching him intently, waiting for his order. Sighing heavily, he took a look at the waitress and noticed a red menu card peeking out of her saddlebag.

“What’s on this card?”

The waitress looked back at her saddlebag and closed it quickly. “Oh that’s the card with the meat dishes for our carnivore guests. Please don’t mind it we barely get any customers for that”

“Give me that card!” said Frank and used his magic to rip it out of her saddlebag and opened it, scanning it intensely with his eyes. They started to sparkle and a small smile appeared on his face.

“How’s the steak?”

The waitress turned pale. “I don’t know myself your Highness, I have to get the cook”

She hurried away into the kitchen and seconds later an angry griffon in a chef’s hat appeared, followed by the distraught waitress trying to stop him.

“So you are the joker who thinks it would be funny to toy with a poor cook’s emotion, in giving him the illusion he would finally make something else than fricking hay casserole?”

The surrounding customers gasped, hearing the way this griffon talked to the princess.

Frank kept calm though. “I just asked about the steak”

“What would a grass-eater want to know about steak?” said the griffon narrowing his eyes, challenging him.

“If there is any sauce or special seasoning on it for example, I like my steak without things messing with the taste”

The griffon tilted his head. “You are serious about that aren’t you?”

Frank shoved the menu card into his talons. “I have the appetizer platter with the five jumbo deep-fried shrimp, served on a disc of salted butter and as main course I take the three pound hunters-steak with deep fried potatoe slices and sour cream”

The griffon saluted with tears in his eyes. “Yes your Highness, thank you for the opportunity to show my craft!”

Frank took another swig of wine directly out of the bottle, but stopped mid-gulp when he noticed that Luna was staring at him.

“You really eat meat? I thought Trusty was just messing with me. How can you do that?”

Frank swallowed the wine in his mouth. “Don’t knock it until you try it Luna”

Luna turned to the side puffing out her cheeks and avoided speaking to him, until their food arrived. She got a salad, while Frank got his food including the shrimps.

He took one in his mouth, after dipping it in the butter sauce and made a satisfied groan while doing so. On the other side of the table, Luna was throwing glances at him poking her salad.

Her curiosity finally got the better of her and she silently took one shrimp and ate it.

“Oh my, this is so good! Give me another one!”

In the opposite corner of the restaurant sat four, now very pale mares.

“Are they eating sea bugs?” said Rainbow Dash holding her belly.

Twilight’s left eye twitched. “Well technically, shrimps are part of the crab family”

“Not the point darling,” said Rarity with a deadpan look, before turning her attention back to the princesses, “look now Celestia is lovingly feeding her sister a piece of... burned meat?”

Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Twilight, all looked left when they heard the sound of something blunt and heavy hitting the table.

“Fluttershy!” yelled the three of them in unison, when they noticed her head was resting on the table and foam came out of her mouth.

Author's Note

Note for the people who read this chapter at publishing date:

The next chapter will take a bit longer, because of my finals.

Hope you understand ;)

Can't get enough of your...

Ponyville Town Center…

The great costume party was about to start. Hundreds of costumed festival guests had already gathered and passed the time by loitering around the booths and tables.

One of those tables was occupied by a grumpy looking Twilight and a bored Rainbow Dash, sipping on their drinks.

“Ok Twilight, I know you’re a fan of that Starswirl fella, but dressing up as him all the time is really boring and somewhat creepy”

Twilight looked up from her cup and pushed the bells of her pointy hat out of her eyes, giving Rainbow Dash a deadpan expression. Being told from her of all ponies, that obsessing over something was bad sounded like a bad joke. This feeling was amplified by the fact, that she was wearing a officer uniform from the Wonderbolts and matching aviator glasses.

Rainbow Dash glanced down on herself and back to Twilight. “That is something completely different. This uniform is custom made and I will be wearing it next week as the new captain of the Wonderbolts!”

Twilight wanted to ask what Spitfire would be doing from now on. She decided otherwise, when she got a good look at Applejack. The farm pony was working at the cider booth and poured drinks to thirsty customers.

Dressed as a giant red apple.

“We have to talk to her some time in the future, about her fixation on apples. I think she got us both beat in the obession department”

Rainbow Dash took a sip from her cup. “Agreed. Where are the others?”

“Rarity is still with Fluttershy and checking, if she’s ok after..” said Twilight and shuddered as the earlier pictures of their stake out came back to her mind, “...you know what”

Turning green in the face, Rainbow Dash pushed her cup away. “Don’t remind me. And what about Pinkie?”

All she got as an answer, was a purple hoof pointing past her at the stage.

She followed Twilight’s pointing hoof with her eyes and indeed there was Pinkie, talking to the mayor. Or better said angrily shouting her to pieces. Rainbow Dash could see the spray of spittle out of her mouth from here.

“Pinkie is kinda tense lately. Why isn’t she wearing a costume?”

Twilight cringed as she watched Pinkie kick the podium off the stage. “I tried talking to Pinkie earlier and all I got out of her, was something about wrong streamers and fireworks colors”

They both turned when a large shadow was cast on their table. It was none other than Princess Luna, who smiled happily at them.

“Greetings, Twilight Sparke and Rainbow Dash. I’m so happy to have finally found you. I would have come sooner, but my sister kept me quite occupied since my arrival,” proclaimed Luna loudly.

“Hello Princess Luna, so nice to see you,” said Twilight nervously, trying to keep a straight face.

Rainbow Dash just stared at Luna, frozen in shock. A sudden jolt in the ribs from Twilight brought her out of that state. “Uhm yeah, totally princess. I really like your costume and everypony can totally tell that you are…”

“A playful bunny, my dear Rainbow Dash”

And Indeed, Luna was wearing the bunny ears on her head. But also a black corset with a white collar and a red bowtie.

She had trouble choosing a costume on the ship and finally just picked one at random. Luna remembered the big grin on her sisters face, when she had asked what kind of bunny that would be.

“The best kind” Frank had said before happily strutting away and telling her, to meet him at the costume party. Luna thought about her sister’s words and didn’t notice the confused looks Rainbow Dash and Twilight were giving each other.

Where was her sister? Luna had arrived on the exact time, she was told to come.

Suddenly the whole town was covered in darkness as the sun plummeted like a stone behind the horizon. As it’s replacement rose a giant moon with a silhouette of a mare displayed on it. The festival guests started to panic and the sudden black fog all over town didn’t help to calm them down.

“She wouldn’t!” thought Luna.

Everyone froze in their movement when a deep and sinister voice echoed all over ponyville.

“Citizens of Ponyville, I have returned!”

“She’s really doing it!”

Lightning struck the stage and after the smoke had vanished, everyone could see Frank appear. He had painted his coat black and wore a midnight blue armor. Somehow, he even managed to change his mane color to a deep blue.

The crowd went understandably nuts.

“Nightmare Moon!”

“Oh no, she has returned!”

“Save the children!”

“The horror, the horror!”

“YOU PONIES KNOW, THAT I’M STANDING RIGHT HERE, RIGHT?”

The crowd stopped their panic for a moment and looked at Luna. She was pointing to herself and then at Frank. The crowd did a collective “oh” and turned their attention back to the stage as if nothing had happened.

Frank harrumphed loudly and continued his little performance.

“My dear subjects, today is the day I return the favour for banishing me. Today you will all experience what I did. The moon is waiting for all of you!”

The whole town was basked in a blinding light. When it finally faded away and everyone could see again, the crowd gasped in shock.

“And by Tartarus you shall enjoy it. Let’s party!”

They were on the moon. It was like the whole town had been picked up and relocated on the moon’s surface. In the sky you could see the stars and a big blue planet floating in space. Even the gravity was the same as it is on the moon. Soon most festival guests were occupied with jumping and floating around.

Twilight examined the sky with huge interest. “This is quite an impressive feat of magic. An illusion spell, coupled with a town sized low gravity bubble. Although she got the continents and oceans of Equis wrong. Your sister is really amazing, isn’t she Princess Luna?”

Twilight got no answer.

“...Luna?”

Luna didn’t hear Twilight. Luna didn’t hear anything at all, too focused on the scene before her eyes.

The moon.

That was the desolate and empty place, she was confined to for a whole millenium. The place from where she stared at the beautiful and breathtaking blue ball she called her home once. A sight so beautiful that she wanted to share it with someone, but nobody was there to do so for hundreds of years.

Now they were all around her.

Little children jumping around in low gravity and playing tag. Hysterically laughing ponies, griffons, donkeys and minotaurs in drinking competitions, trying more and more creative ways to get the floating liquids into their mouths and beaks .

Diamond Dogs curiously examining the moon rocks and taking bites out of the illusionary stones, before Frank shooed them away and showed the dogs a pile of gems he had prepared.

The elderly, now freed from the weight of their brittle bones, dancing with the young and energetic with Granny Smith leading way.

And over all of that was the sound of cheerfulness and laughter.

Luna didn’t know the exact moment she started crying, but noticed it when she could only see Frank blurrily through her tears. He stopped before her and looked around with a satisfied grin.

“What do you say, isn’t it awesome? I think I outdid myself this time,” said Frank twirling and shuffling around in his Nightmare Moon costume, before noticing Luna’s crying face and stopping dead in his tracks, “Oh no you don’t like it, don’you?”

She watched as Frank magically took off his costume and turned to the crowd, taking a deep breath. Luna knew what was coming, but wasn’t able to form any words.

“OK EVERYONE, FUN IS OVER! YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO HOME BUT YOU CAN’T…”

Frank stopped suddenly, when Luna hugged him and buried her face in his chest.

“So..., you like it?” asked Frank.

He got no verbal answer from her, but could feel her face moving up and down on his chest.
“And you don’t want me to stop it? Because I would in an instant.”

This time he felt her head move from left to right and back, accompanied by a hoarse whisper. “No, this is wonderful…”

He gently pulled her away from him and materialized a hankerchief, which Luna took gladly and blew her nose. Frank saw a group of fillies approaching, with a certain brown speckled colt in a pirate costume as their spearhead. “With that out of the way, why don’t you spend some time with your admirers?”

Luna spun around with a confused look on her face. It changed rapidly to a large smile.

“Pipsqueak!” said Luna, watching the little colt and his friends hurrying to her. They all tumbled over each other and landed in a large pile before her.

Pipsqueak stuck his head out of the bottom of the pile and smiled. “Princess Luna, I’m so happy that you are here. Please play with us!”

Before she could do anything, Luna was grabbed on her hooves by the children and dragged away.

“Can’t compete with the adorableness of that little bugger” thought Frank and made his way to one of of the many outdoor bars, completely ignoring Twilight and Rainbow Dash.

Sitting down on a barstool, he didn’t have the time to make a sound before a full glass of amber liquid was dropped noisily in front of him.

“This one is on the house, your Highness,” said a deep and booming voice. Frank looked up and could see the smiling face of a middle aged minotaur, “name’s Iron Brew by the way. I hope you got that thank-you letter of ours”

Frank took the glass of highly alcoholic fluid and drank it in one go. Feeling the burn in his throat, he made a satisfied groan right after smacking the counter with a hoof. “I remember that stuff, really good to get a day rolling”

The minotaur stared at Frank. Then he refilled his glass, while laughing loudly. “Your’re a mare to my liking, if I weren’t happily married I would propose right now!”

Frank deadpanned and took sip of his now refilled glas, savouring the flavour this time. “Thank you… I guess...”

Iron Brew went back to serving the other customers and left Frank alone with his thoughts. Frank almost fell from the barstool, when all of a sudden a bundle of red hair poked out under the counter. Followed by a pair of huge orange eyes staring at him.

“Hello princess. Could I talk to for a second?” said Applebloom, resting her head on the counter.

Frank grasped his chest and tried to calm down from this scare. “Sure why not? But why are you hiding there?”

Applebloom glanced over to the cider booth, before she signaled Frank to get closer.

When their faces where just a few inches apart, she whispered into his ear. “Because I’m grounded and not supposed to be here. I snuck out and don’t want Applejack to find out”

Frank bopped her lightly on the nose. “So, I take it that you took my advice?”

A bright smile appeared on Applebloom’s face with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Yes and it worked like a charm. They both don’t get near us at school anymore. But that’s also the reason I have to talk to you. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon found another way to make our lives miserable”

“I’m listening,” said Frank and took another gulp from his glass.

“I easier to just show you,” said Applebloom, sliding Frank a piece of paper, “here read this”

Frank looked over the document and recognized it as the teamlist for the upcoming hoofball tournament. Not many teams had been listed in the first place, but now only two teams remained, whose names weren’t crossed out. The Diamonds and the CMC.

Frank tapped the paper with his hoof. “Care to explain?”

“Diamond Tiara’s father is the sponsor of the Detrot Busters, a professional hoofball team. Most of their players are now playing for her team. That’s the reason every other team quit!”

Eliminating the competition by stacking the odds against them, to the point they don’t believe in winning no more. That Diamond Tiara knew how to play.

“Why did you enlist a team in the first place?”

“We didn’t! She did that to humiliate us on the field!” yelled Applebloom and slammed the counter, before diving under it again and throwing nervous glances to the cider booth.

“And you don’t want to quit, because…?”

She came forth from the counter again with a angry grimace on her face. “And give her the satisfaction? Never, I rather get stomped into the ground!”

Frank admired the guts of that filly, but didn’t see much hope for them if these Detrot Busters were the equivalent of a professional football team on earth. “It says here that you need eleven players. How many do you have?”

“Just Scootaloo and me. Sweetie Belle is preparing herself for the magic competition”

Frank raised an eyebrow. “She's entering?”

“Not voluntarily, at first. This is also Diamond Tiara’s doing, but Sweetie Belle doesn’t want any help from us,” said Applebloom and sighed heavily.

That surprised Frank. He had created the magic competion as an afterthought to have something to do for the unicorns. There weren’t even any rules written down, just that the unicorns would have to compete. What would Sweetie Belle want in a magic competion?

Applebloom watched Frank as he was deep in thought. “She’s weird lately, always using her magic for everything. Ever since she shocked Silver Spoon with her horn, all she does and talks about is magic”

Shaking his head to clear his mind, Frank turned his attention to Applebloom again. “So you want me to help you? In what way? Use my magic to cheat?”

Frank jerked as the small farm filly forcefully poked his nose with her hoof. “No, not that! I want to beat Diamond Tiara in her own game, so just help us to get a chance to do so!”

Frank got his face closer to look into those determined eyes and saw a fire burning. She would face Diamond Tiara, with or without him. Might as well give them a little help. “Be on the field tomorrow. That’s all I’m saying right now”

“Thank you…” said Applebloom, hugging Frank’s face.

Applebloom vanished under the counter again and seconds later, Frank could see a small bedsheet ghost walking away from the bar in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.

“Someday these ponies will make me die on diabetes, but that kid is gonna go far,” thought Frank and turned back to his drink.

And right into the face of a pink party pony, sitting on the counter.

They both remained like this for a few moments, before Frank decided to break the ice with his snout still pressed on hers. “So... can I help you with something?”

Pinkie still didn’t move away, gazing into his eyes. “I still have so much to learn. What you did there with the moon was brilliant. Using magic to enhance the party experience, I have never thought of something like that!”

Frank slowly shoved Pinkie away from him, wearing a nervous smile on his face. “That’s nice Pinkie and don’t worry there’s still plenty of time for you to impress me”

“I will…,” whispered Pinkie, slowly climbing down from the counter and walking backwards into the crowd. Never breaking eye contact with Frank or blinking while doing so.

“Sometimes this pony seriously freaks me out,” said a voice beside him.

Frank turned to the voice. “Tell me about it. I wonder what’s in those cupcakes”

On the barstool beside him, sat none other than Discord. The spirit of chaos and trickster god, drinking a glass of chocolate milk. Frank took a deep breath. He didn’t have the patience for this right now. But nonetheless started a conversation. “Did you like the house, I built for you and Fluttershy?”

Discord snapped wiith his fingers and Frank’s glass refilled from bottom to top. “Yes it’s quite cozy. I especially like the king sized bed in heart shape. I didn’t know you had a sense of humor Tia”

“Haven’t got any complains so far,” said Frank, lifting his glass in appreciation and drank a huge gulp. It tasted almost like the whiskey from the minotaur with a hint of chocolate.

“Your work is quite marvelous, if you want to hear my professional opinion. The shenanigans you are spreading, rival mine in intensity. What I want to know though is why you do this? This makes no sense to me”

Frank perked up at this. So he could cross Discord from the list of subjects, who might have brought him here to Equestria. Not that he was seriously looking anyway. And Discord doesn’t seem to have a clue who Frank really was. Time for Frank to have some fun. “A little chaos doesn’t hurt anybody Discord and it’s quite entertaining. What fun is there in making sense?”

Discord almost choked on his chocolate milk and tried to cover up his coughing by turning away from Frank.

Frank had an innocent look on his face, which turned into a small smile when he glanced at Discord. “But enough of me. How’s your love life? Making any progress with Fluttershy?”

“I’m afraid, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Discord, hiding his face behind the glass he was holding.

Frank put his hoof around Discord’s waist and pulled him closer. “Come on buddy, you can tell me. How far did you get with that adorable yellow piece of hotness?”

Discord was getting real uncomfortable and tried to squirm free of Frank’s embrace. His grip on him was like a vice though and it got even tighter, every time he tried to get free. Like a big, fat and drunk boa. Discord decided to get offensive and took sip of his chocolate milk before smugly asking. “What about you Tia? Anyone you pining for right now?”

Frank let go of Discord and did a spin on the barstool. “As a matter of fact Discord, there is. She is standing right there with a group of children”

Discord looked and almost choked again. “Your sister? You are joking right?”

“Nope, I’m madly in love with Luna. And not the sweet and innocent playground crush kind of love, more like the sweaty and passionate love-making type. I admit it’s borderline obsession at this point”

Frank really enjoyed the face, Discord was making right now. A mixture of confusion and agitation. “Why are you telling me this? You wouldn’t tell anybody about this!”

Frank drummed with his glass on the counter, to signalise Iron Brew to refill. “Simple reason actually. Nobody would believe you and it’s good to get that off my chest. I mean, who would the ponies believe more in the end. Me or you?”

Discord and Frank stared at each other for a long time. Discord flinched, when Frank clicked his tongue and wiggled with his eyebrow. “Excuse me, I have somewhere else to be,” said Discord, snapping with his fingers and vanishing with a puff of white smoke.

Frank chuckled into his glass and gulped it down. He stood up from his seat and left a note for the bartender, before taking flight and heading for the ship. There had been enough interaction for one day and he was tired.

Back at the table from Twilight and Rainbow Dash, the purple princess turned off the magical glow around her ears.

“So, did the surveillance spell work? What did Princess Celestia say?” asked Rainbow Dash and took a sip from her alcoholic cider.

It got ripped out of her hoof by a purple aura and Twilight downed the glass in one go. “Don’t ask. I’m going to do my best for the rest of my life to repress the memory of it!”

Later that night...

Luna let herself fall on her bed, the second she entered her room that night. She had loved being around those children, but they had done quite a number on her stamina.

And this wouldn’t have happened without Tia.

Her thoughts drifted to her sister. This night has been the nicest thing, anyone has ever done for her. Luna wanted to thank Tia right then and there, but was overwhelmed by her emotions at the time. Later Luna found out, that her sister had already left the party and felt guilty about ignoring Tia in favour of her number one fan. But she made a vow to express her gratitude as soon as possible.

“A pity that she’s already asleep. I can’t talk to her before tomorrow. Unless…”

A grin appeared on her face. She could visit Tia in her dreams. Luna hadn’t done so in a while and it would be a perfect opportunity for a personal talk with her.

Luna closed her eyes and lit up her horn. Focusing on the magic of her sister, she sensed it a few rooms further away. In a flash of light she disappeared from her room.

Only to feel the certain rush of free falling through the air.

Opening her eyes she could see the ground rapidly getting closer. She fell between impossible high buildings of glass and steel and watched her reflection in the windows. She spread her wings and slowed down her fall to a controlled gliding over the buildings. Luna was astonished by the proportions of this city. It reminded her of Manehattan, but the buildings were bigger and much more intricate in design.

And there were hundreds of them.

It was also nighttime over the city and not one window was lit, which left the full moon as only light source. Nobody was on the streets, what wasn’t unusual. Luna knew that objects in dreams became less detailed, the further away they are from the dreamer.

“Where by Tartarus am I?” said Luna, flapping her wings to get more altitude.

She felt her sisters magic nearby and flew towards it. In the distance she could see one of the older brick and mortar buildings and a window with light in it, almost near the top.

On arrival, Luna opened the window and entered the room. The place was nothing special, a small kitchen with a table and two chairs. The sink was full of dirty dishes and on the table were a lot of empty flat cardboard boxes.

“Freddies Pizza. This stuff is bananas,” said Luna, reading the text bubble from the moustache twirling monkey on the box. Looking a bit more around, she heard noise from next door and slowly approached it.

Luna glanced through the door crack and saw something strange. There sat her sister in the darkness on a worn out armchair and stared into a glowing box. She silently entered the room and got closer from behind. Standing right behind the armchair, Luna finally got a good look at the glowing box.

She saw Ponyville at night and herself standing there with Applejack and Twilight Sparkle. Luna watched herself, as she loaded a catapult with a pumpkin and shot it right at the target .

“The fun has been doubled!” proclaimed her image in the box.

Luna remembered that day and the cringeworthy line, but how could her sister?

“Oh, Luna you’re so adorably awkward,” said Frank as he watched one of his favourite episodes.

“No, I’m not!” said Luna in protest, before putting a hoof on her mouth.

In an instant everything vanished and Luna stood in a white room. Frank watched her with a forced smile.

“Did she just abort her own dream?” thought Luna.

A little pillow appeared out of nowhere and Frank sat down on it. “Hello Luna, what a nice surprise! How can I help you?”

“What was that? Why do you have knowledge of what happened on that day? I never told you about the pumpkin catapult or what I said when I hit the target!” said Luna and got closer to him after every sentence.

Frank was sweating like crazy. This wasn’t good. This wasn’t good at all. He had to think of something fast, before everything collapses into itself. “You know Luna, I didn’t want to tell you this but I was keeping tabs on you, ever since your return. I was worried and wanted to make sure you have a good time in Ponyville”

“How?” asked Luna and got even closer to him.

“Oh you know, there’s a spell for everything. Think of it as a looking through a pair of floating and invisible binoculars, which sent what they see directly to me”

Luna narrowed her eyes and Frank silently cursed to himself.

“Invisible pair of binoculars? That’s the best you can come up with brain? I so deserve anything that is coming to me right now!”

But to his astonishment, Luna’s face relaxed. “I remember that spell, but I didn’t know they improved it to the point, where the content could be stored away. Magic has advanced far this last thousand years” said Luna impressed.

“She bought that? Who’s the man? I’m the man!“

“But, I would prefer it, if you would refrain from invading my privacy in the future. Even though you had noble motives”

“Of course Luna, it won’t happen again,” said Frank, hardly believing how lucky he was.

“By the way, what was that city I found you in?”

Not that lucky.

“Oh that?” said Frank shifting his eyes, “just a little place I was working on in my free time. Nothing special, look I got other ones”

Frank lit up his horn and they both sat on a snowy mountain in a hot tub. The next teleport was a beach on a tropical island. He transported them like this several other times. A cruise ship on the ocean, a train riding through the desert, a lake in the forest and finally the surface of the moon.

“This is a dream after all. Any place I want to be, I can be in an instant”

Luna went silent. The sight of the moon’s surface and Equis on the horizon, reminded her why she came in her sisters dream to begin with and pushed any further questions she had aside.

Frank misinterpreted it as her feeling discomfort about this place. “Oh right, bad memories I guess. Let me fix it!”

“No!” said Luna more forcefully than intented, “this is perfect, for what I wanted to do”

Luna breathed in deeply and cleared her throat, before putting a smile on her face.

“Tia, I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. That was really sweet of you and I want to do something nice in return. Is there anything, I could do for you to show my gratitude?”

Frank blinked several times and let the words he just heard sink in. He turned away from her and Luna could have sworn she saw a blush on his face.

“I never got to dance with you”

Now it was Luna’s turn to blink with her eyes in confusion. “That’s all you want? A dance with me?”

“Not a normal one though. I want to try something new,” said Frank and kicked a moon pebble, while avoiding eye contact, “in this dance, we both get on our hindlegs and prevent ourselves from falling over by holding onto each other”

Luna deadpanned. “No offense sister, but I think you’re a bit to big and heavy for me to support you”

“A dream, remember?” said Frank and his body shrank to the size of Luna’s.

It sounded innocent enough and Luna was curious, what was so special about it. They both reared up and hold onto each other, which had the effect that their faces where just a few inches apart now. Frank and Luna stood there for a few moments and looked into each others eyes.

“What now?” asked Luna and noticed that her voice was a little shaky.

Now we need music to dance to.

Suddenly, Luna could hear smooth music playing, which was accompanied by a deep and even smoother voice.

They clumsily started moving around. At a slow pace at first and both were a little bit afraid of falling over. Once they realized the other one wouldn’t let that happen, the movements got more fluid. Left step and right step, forward and backwards. Never breaking eye contact while doing so.

Soon they danced all over the moon and Luna enjoyed every second of it. Luna felt a warm and fuzzy tingle in her belly, when she looked into Frank’s eyes and saw something she didn’t expect. There was love for her in those eyes. And not the kind of love somepony had for their sibling. Frank had dropped all pretense at this moment and just enjoyed the company and embrace of the pony he adored.

The sky was illuminated by a shower of shooting stars and the normal ones formed an identical image of Luna.

“Now you’re just showing off Tia,” said Luna in a tone that wasn’t sarcastic or scolding, but more affectionate and caring.

Going slowly in a circle, Luna rested her head on Frank’s shoulder and closed her eyes. She could feel the warmth of Franks coat and his heartbeat. This should have been weird for her. This was her sister after all. She shouldn’t enjoy something so wrong, but for whatever reason Luna couldn’t bring herself to care right now.

She removed her head from his shoulder and gazed into his sparkling orbs again. Frank tilted his head slightly and their lips were now a few inches short of touching.

“... Tia…I…” whispered Luna and her hot breath tickled Frank on the nose.

He could smell the familiar scent of blueberry again, to the point that Frank could almost taste it. Both of them got misty eyes and inched even closer to each other. In a final act of bravery they pressed their lips together.

On contact the music suddenly stopped and Frank’s body popped like bubble, leaving a blushing and confused Luna behind in the collapsing dream.

Frank woke up with his face pressed on the floor and a aching nose. The realization that he had fallen out of the bed and had woken up at this exact moment, left him with only one possible course of action.

“ARRRGGGHHHH, GODDAMNIT!”

Banging his head furiously on the floor.

Author's Note

Next chapter and a kickass new cover (thanks for Nun2artzy from Deviantart for letting me use it).

Just a little heads up, that I will add the Romance tag in the future (Hope that doesn't deter anyone, who only came for the laughs XD )

Tried some new things, like the link with music. Should I use it again or does it distract too much from the story?

Keep pushing...

The next morning…

If you could say something nice about Blueblood, it was that he had a knack for choosing high quality items and that he wasn’t satisfied with half-assed efforts, a fact from which Luna now profited greatly.

In the morning she had entered the large bathroom of the ship and was astonished about how well equipped it was. There was a large bathtub which easily had room for three ponies of her size and opposite from it a large shower stall with milky glass doors.

She rummaged through the huge selection of oils and shampoos, but settled for a simple lavender scented soap for her bathwater. Luna took off her accessories when the bathtub was filled to the brim and turned the faucet off.

Luna slid slowly into the hot water, savouring the jolt of warmth which encased her whole body. She could already feel her muscles relaxing and took a deep breath. Usually she wouldn’t take such a extravagant bath so early in the morning, but Luna decided after last night she deserved to relax.

And by Tartarus, she needed it!

The implications of their little improv ball and dream kiss had hit her later, once she was out of the dream and back in her room. And Luna nearly had a nervous breakdown. It was inconceivable for Luna that Tia would have any romantic feelings towards her.

Yet, they had been so close to engage in tongue wrestling with each other. It didn’t matter for Luna that it was only in a dream. In that moment she would have loved to kiss her sister, throwing any morality and hesitation overboard. That notion frightened and intrigued her at the same time.

Her sister was without a doubt an attractive mare, the radiant smile, her stellar figure, the brilliant white coat and the beauty of her prismatic mane. Any pony who wouldn’t be attracted to her physically should get their eyes checked.

That wasn’t the main reason for Luna though. The reasons for the newfound affection for her sister ran deeper than mere physical attraction. Reasons she didn’t know herself and that was the frightening part.

She closed her eyes, sinking deeper in the hot water and dozed off. Her slightly sleepy state was responsible, that she didn’t notice the water ripple when a large body joined her in the bathtub.

Frank was in a pretty good mood, despite the fact he got cheated out of his make out session. After making a noticeable dent in his room floor on that evening and lying there in self-pity, Frank finally remembered a little detail about their encounter.

The fact that he had a possibility to kiss her to begin with!

Luna had been interested, and there was a chance for it to become more.

That was all the encouragement Frank needed.

Luna opened an eye when something poked her thigh under the water, and she screeched like a banshee.

“Tia?! What are you doing in here?” yelled Luna, covering herself with her hooves.

She took them away though once she noticed the amused look of Frank and realised the futility of her action. Luna saw the two champagne glasses and the large bottle he had brought with him. The bottle opened magically and Frank poured the sparkling liquid into the glasses. One of them levitated to her and she grabbed it with her own magic.

“I thought we could spend some quality time together. There’s nothing wrong with that, is it?” said Frank and raised his glass.

Frank was about to drink from it, when a blue aura appeared around it and cancelled his own. The glasses and the big bottle levitated away from him and Frank looked into Luna’s disapproving eyes.

“Tia it’s eight in the morning, don’t you think that’s a bit early for drinking?” said Luna, putting a hoof on his chest, “I noticed you drink a lot lately and that worries me. I know it’s fun to let loose once in a while, but please slow it down a notch for your and my sakes”

Frank got lost in her caring eyes and drowned the rest of her words out. His mind wandered to a happy place, where they both sat in comfy beach chairs on a deserted beach with cocktails in their hooves. The blank stare turned in a crooked smile once he reached the part with the sun oil and back to the blank stare when he asked himself, “How could they use sun oil with their coats?”

A sudden bop to the head brought him out of his daydream. “Tia, you zoned out. How many drinks did you already have?”

Frank looked at the pouting Luna and smiled. “None, and you’re right, I shouldn’t drink so much. But a little something later at the hoofball game is ok, right?”

Luna returned his smile and nodded in approval. “Everything in moderation, Tia.”

Content with how this went down, Luna stood up from the bathtub. She wasn’t too keen on sharing a bath with her sister and decided to continue it later. That was until she was suddenly grabbed and pulled towards Frank.

Now spooning in a sitting position with her back pressed on his front side and seated between his legs, Frank levitated some shampoo bottles to him. “With that out of the way, let me help you wash up; Coconut, or honey and milk?”

Flabbergasted about the close contact, she answered automatically. “Uhm... coconut please...”

One of the bottles opened and Frank started to rub the shampoo in Luna’s mane, moving his hooves slowly and paying attention not to accidentally get some of it in her eyes. Once finished he rinsed out her mane with clear hot water, before putting a washcloth on his right hoof. “And now your back.”

Luna pushed her wet mane out of her face and turned her head to Frank.

“What? Tia, no! It’s ok, I can do rest!” said Luna, but any further objections were silenced when Frank started to scrub her back in circular motion.

Tense at first from his touch, she finally relaxed and closed her eyes to focus entirely on the feeling of his hoof through the washcloth. Frank was really good, pushing exactly the right spots and loosening the knots in her back.

Seeing her enjoyment, he got bolder and moved further down her spine and over her right flank to touch her cutie mark. A little squeak escaped Luna’s lips, but Frank got no signal to stop his advances.

“You’re sitting all wrong. Here let me fix it.” said Frank. And then he firmly grasped Luna by the flanks to position her.

She never blushed so much in her life. Meekly, she turned her head to look at Frank again. His face was right beside her right ear and Luna swallowed hard.

“You smell really good,” said Frank in Luna’s ear, before nibbling affectionately on it, “good enough to eat.”

“Oh my god, this feels so good!” thought Luna, as she moaned and flapped her ears.

This continued a good while, with Frank rubbing and massaging almost every part of her body. Neck, legs, thighs, shoulders and so on. He left nothing untouched. When he finished rubbing her belly, the only thing Frank could hear from her was a soft purr. Frank took his hoof from her belly and moved it down slowly to her nether regions.

That was the moment when Luna’s eyes went wide and she bolted out of the bathtub. “On second thought, I would rather take a quick shower!”

Frank watched Luna as she jumped into the shower stall and closed the milky glass door. There was no steam from the water that came from the shower head. That and the sound of chattering teeth told Frank, that Luna was taking a cold shower; a very cold one.

With a small chuckle he took one of the full glasses of champagne and brought it to his mouth, but stopped suddenly before drinking. Frank looked at the full glass and then to the silhouette of Luna in the shower.

Sighing heavily, he poured the content of his glass into the bathtub.

Canterlot Castle Gardens…

“Work at the castle, they said. You gonna have it easy, they said!” mumbled Trusty, walking through the castle gardens and searching for Blueblood.

One of the guards had seen him entering the gardens. Unfortunately, this information didn’t make him easier to find, because of the sheer size of it. She entered the castle hedge maze an hour ago, and was now totally lost.

Aimlessly walking through the corridors, she had time to contemplate her recent loss of control in life. Things had looked so good a week ago, when she finally got the job as royal secretary. A high-prestige and well paid job, well enough to afford a house in the nicest area in Canterlot. Until a few days ago she couldn’t have been happier.

Now everything was going down the drain.

Princess Celestia seemingly had lost her mind, a fact Trusty was constantly reminded of by the statues of her all over the castle grounds. As she passed a statue of Celestia doing the Can-Can, her thoughts went to the younger sister Princess Luna.

She wasn’t much better. Granted, Trusty wouldn’t call her crazy, but with her constant angry outburst in the council meetings and her antiquated perspective on society was not any less difficult to deal with.

And after all the hardships it took Trusty to keep a shred of order, Luna had just left Canterlot on a whim to follow her sister.

That left Trusty with Blueblood.

A heavy sigh escaped Trusty’s lips as she thought about the prince. Once he had heard that Luna had left, he had become happier than anytime she seen him. Trusty couldn’t make heads or tails out of this stallion and his erratic behaviour. Most of the time he was snooty, arrogant and rude, but Trusty saw on more than one occasion a change in attitude.

These moments also seemed to appear totally at random. A sentence in his speeches which sounded weird and out of context, long pauses between and during said sentences where he just stared blankly ahead before he recovered, and most of all what Blueblood said was often simply wrong.

Combining that with his constant disregard of punctuality and repeated absence from meetings and audiences, and Trusty wasn’t far off to just snap.

She snapped out of her thoughts when she saw the prince in question ahead. Trusty called out to him, but he was too far away to hear her and he vanished into a little a passage in the hedge wall.

Grunting in annoyance, she picked up the pace to catch up with him. When Trusty arrived at the little passage, she could see that it was barely big enough for one pony to squeeze through. Until she reached the end of it, there were scratches and cuts all over her.

Ready to give him a piece of her mind regardless of the consequences to her career, she stuck her head out into a clearance.

And paused at the display before her eyes.

It was a small field with a tree in the middle and surrounded by large hedges. But the eye-catcher was the large statue of a unicorn mare, made out of white marble on a pedestal. The mare was simply beautiful, with her long flowing mane and pleasant facial features.

It reminded Trusty of a smaller version of Princess Celestia with minor variations, and she was curious who that statue was supposed to be.

The next words out of Blueblood’s mouth answered her question.

“Hello mommy, It’s been a while since I came here, I’m sorry.”

Blueblood sat on his haunches, staring up at the statue of the mare. For a long time, he didn’t say anything, but Trusty didn’t have the heart to interrupt this moment.

He stared at his legs and wiggled with them. “I hope you like the new statue of you. It took hundreds of tries until they got it to look like you, I mean the way aunty described me how you looked at least. Aunty said that there are sadly no pictures of you.”

Standing up, he touched the stone pedestal of the statue. Trusty could hear stifled sniffles and she really didn’t want to be here, eavesdropping like that.

“You don’t have to worry about me, I’m doing just fine. I brush my teeth and mane every day, get dressed without help, and eat healthy three times a day. Aunty is also really nice to me, even more than usual. She even got rid of Luna for me, because I said she was mean to me.”

He pulled out a small flat book with a smiling sun on it.

“Yesterday, I read a whole book and I didn’t have to look for what any of the words mean. You’d have been proud of me, I know I am.”

Blueblood leaned the small book against the pedestal.

“It’s really good and it made me laugh a dozen times. The story is about a really funny pony trying to find a present for his mother and at the end… ups, I almost spoiled the ending. I leave it here for you, maybe you like it.”

He stood there like he was expecting an answer, but eventually cleared his throat and continued.

“I know I say it every time I’m here, but although we never met I miss you. If there’s anything you need, I won’t be far away.”

Blueblood laid down on the grass, right under the statue and closed his eyes for a nap. Trusty chose this moment to slowly sneak backwards through the passage. This time she didn’t even notice the scratches and cuts. In silence she walked through the maze and found the exit relatively fast.

She approached the guard who gave her the information about Blueblood’s whereabouts earlier and he saluted. “The council requires the attendance of the prince. Have you found him?”

Trust glanced back at the gardens and paused for a moment, thinking about what she just witnessed.

“They can wait,” said Trusty, passing the puzzled guard.

Hoofball field in the afternoon…

The game wouldn’t start for another hour. Yet there had already gathered a sizeable crowd, filling the seats around the playing field. One of those seats was occupied by a sullen looking Frank.

His little stunt in the bathroom had the effect, that Luna avoided him the rest of the day. When he went out for the game, Frank couldn’t even find her. The whole situation infuriated him to no end and he really was hoping that Luna hadn’t gone back to Canterlot.

Flapping his giant foam finger on his hoof and deeply in thought, he didn’t notice Twilight taking a seat beside him. She sat there in silence, waiting for him to notice her. Several minutes later she cleared her throat and Frank glanced at her.

“Oh, it’s you. Hello Twilight,” said Frank in a monotone voice, noticing Lyra on the opposite side of the field and waving with his foam finger at her.

The sight of the teal coloured unicorn, shaking her companion Bon Bon and pointing at him made Frank chuckle. He reached under his seat and grabbed his cup to drink something.

The blatant indifference to her presence Twilight felt from Frank, nurtured a fear she had since Frank’s arrival in Ponyville. “Can I ask you a question Princess Celestia?”

“Sure, what is it?” asked Frank, drinking from his cup.

Twilight took a deep and shaky breath before asking. “Be honest, do you hate me?”

Frank spit out his drink in surprise and coughed heavily, before turning to Twilight with a look that said ‘Are you serious?’.

To his horror she started to tear up. “Ever since you came to Ponyville, you either ignored me or said and done hurtful things to me. Have I lost you favour? Please, I would do anything to get on your good side again!”

Frank looked at the crying Twilight. She reminded him of an abandoned puppy, with her desperate search for approval from her teacher. This was a character trait, he always hated about Twilight.

So he was honest. “Twilight you’re a strong-willed and good-hearted pony, but for goodness sake stop groveling like a dog and show some dignity!”

Twilight flinched like she was slapped in the face, but Fank continued regardless.

“Like I said when you became a princess, I’m not your mentor anymore. As far as I’m concerned, we both are equal now and I can’t tell you to do squat. Have you ever seen me ordering Luna or Cadence around?”

This made sense to Twilight. Naturally, Celestia would treat her differently when she thought of Twilight as equal and not as one of her subjects.

“Besides why would feel inferior to me? Even as a normal unicorn you were better than me,” said Frank and bopped her lightly on the nose.

This on the other hand made no sense at all to her. How could Celestia think that she was not as good as herself? Frank saw the outrage in Twilight’s face and cut her off before she could say anything.

“And don’t tell me it’s not true! You saved Equestria several times in the past, where I wasn’t able to. Admittedly you had help, but not from me. All I did was sitting on my flank and letting you do the dirty work!”

Not sure what to think anymore, Twilight looked down to her hooves and sniffled quietly.

“So no, I don’t hate you. But I suggest you learn to take a joke, get a thicker coat, and stop being such a pansy,” said Frank, putting Twilight in a headlock and giving her a noogie.

Frank let go of her and gave Twilight his cup. “And call me Tia from now on.”

Twilight stared at Frank, who turned his attention back to the field. She wiped the tears out her eyes and smiled into the cup, taking a huge gulp.

And coughed from the sudden burning in her throat.

“Maybe, juice is more your thing,” said Frank, enveloping the cup in his aura and turning the hard liquor into apple juice.

Still coughing and wheezing, Twilight nodded in appreciation. From the corner of her eyes she could see her friends approaching. On the front were Applejack and Rarity, followed by Fluttershy, and finally Rainbow Dash who dragged a yelling Pinkie with her.

“Let me go! I don’t have time for this nonsense! I need to supervise the arrival of the balloon delivery. These morons don’t know the difference between pink and light red!”

Applejack rolled with her eyes. “We talked about this Pinkie. You need to relax a little, before you die of a stress-induced heart attack.”

Being dragged along the ground, Pinkie only grumbled in defiance and avoided eye contact with everyone. As they got close, they noticed the disheveled mane and puffy eyes from Twilight and eyed Frank with various degrees of wariness. A quick smile from Twilight dispersed it though.

They exchanged greetings with Frank and Twilight, taking seats around them.

Fluttershy sat farthest away and threw nervous glances at Frank. She had a little chat with Discord after he returned last night. He had told her everything and despite how ridiculous it sounded she knew that he wasn’t lying.

Fluttershy just did.

What that told her about her relationship with the draconequus was something she didn’t want to explore right now.

That meant though, that Princess Celestia was in love with her own sister. Fluttershy thought about those two in a romantic embrace, like in those cheesy novels she loved to read so much. The mental picture brought a blush to her face and soon she trailed off to much riskier imagery.

She jerked when Rainbow Dash shoved her shoulder roughly. “I’m so pumped for this game! The Detrot Busters are my favourite hoofball team and pretty much their whole roster plays in this one!”

They all turned their attention to the commentator booth when a familiar voice echoed out of the speakers.

“Ladies and gentlecolts, I’m happy to announce our first team in this match, the Diamonds!”

“Is that Spike?” asked Twilight.

Frank took sip from his new cup. “I thought he wanted to do something useful, especially since he’s ignored most of the time.”

“Look at the size of those stallions! They’re like a team of Big Macintoshs!” said Applejack as they watched the first team enter the field.

On the front walked Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, head held high and smug looks on their faces.

Rainbow Dash shook her head. “I still don’t know how the little brat got the Detrot Busters to play for her. The other team is going to be destroyed!”

“I’m wouldn’t be so sure about that,” said Frank, grinning as he recognized a familiar face approaching their seats.

The rest of the group looked at Frank in confusion and then at the large towering minotaur, who was wearing a fancy jacket and took a seat besides Frank.

“Glad you could make it, Iron Brew. How’s the family doing?” asked Frank and poured himself a new cup of booze.

Iron Brew pulled out a cigar from his jacket and put it into his mouth, before searching in his pockets for matches. Frank pressed his horn on the end of the cigar and lit it. The minotaur nodded in appreciation and blew out a smoke ring.

“Pretty good, princess. They’re all enjoying the festival so far and were happy to join me.”

Frank and Iron Brew got interrupted in their conversation, by the next announcement from Spike.

“Before I announce the opposing team, I would like to inform the viewers of a last minute name change. The team changed their name from CMC to the Iron Crusaders.”

Applejack’s head spun around from her talk with Rarity. “Wait a second! CMC? Crusaders?”

Twilight looked at Frank and Iron Brew, who had both the biggest grins on their faces. They all looked intently at the field entrance to watch the arrival of the second team. They heard the team before they could see them. A cacophony of stomps and vibrations, accompanied by loud and almost deafening roars.

And then, they could see them.

A large group of minotaurs in red jerseys, all flexing their muscles and posing while entering the field. Applejack’s jaw dropped when she saw who were with them. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo sat on the shoulders of the biggest minotaur, mimicking the minotaurs posing and were wearing the same red jerseys.

Twilight couldn’t believe it. Had the princess really just used her power, to tip a feud between two groups of fillies in the favour of the ones she liked better?

“Why would you concern yourself with something so trivial and childish?”

“Look at those kids Twilight,” said Frank, pointing at the two crusaders.

She watched Apple Bloom and Scootaloo hop of the shoulders from the minotaur, and running alongside the viewer seats. They did jumps, backflips and cheers to heat up the crowd.

“For them it’s neither trivial nor childish.”

“I can’t see Sweetie Belle, where is she?” asked Fluttershy, searching the field with her eyes.

Meanwhile in the basement of Carousel Boutique…

“Nine hundred-ninety-nine… one-thousand!” yelled Sweetie Belle, cancelling her magic grip on the iron boiler and it dropped on the floor with a loud bang. She sunk on the floor, breathing heavily and sweating like crazy.

After a few moments she shook her head and brought herself up. “This went better than the last twenty sets, but I think there’s room for more.”

And Sweetie Belle’s horn lit up again.

… Back at the Hoofball field

“Seems like I have a good little sister, who knows how to behave,” said Rarity, and ignored the murderous glares she was getting from Applejack and Rainbow Dash.

The farmpony shot up from her seat and stormed down the rows to get on the field. She didn’t get far because of the golden aura, surrounding her all of a sudden. Applejack slowly levitated back to her seat and got dropped on it, face first.

“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that Applejack. We can have a talk about this once the game is over, but for now I recommend you enjoy the show.”

Applejack loudly grinded her teeth together, close to just jump over Twilight and into Frank’s face. She stopped when she saw, that Frank had closed his eyes and put a hoof to his ear to hear better.

“What are you doing?” asked Applejack, annoyed from Frank’s antics.

Frank shushed her. “She’s almost there…”

“WHERE THE HELL DID YOU BLANK FLANKS GET MINOTAURS FROM!?”

Frank took the hoof from his ear and hoof bumped Iron Brew on the fist.

Author's Note

This chapter was proofread by Asop, who pretty much started the second he got it from me and volunteered to do the chapters in the future.

Thank you very much, it helps me greatly.

There's a fine line...

Sugarcube Corner at the same time...

Luna loved cake.

Ponies always thought that Celestia was the one with the unhealthy obsession for sugary treats, but they hadn’t seen Luna when she got one of her cravings. Whenever she felt stressed, sad or otherwise negative, Luna couldn’t resist digging in to the next sweet thing available.

Cake, muffins, cupcakes, ice cream, bonbons or chocolate. The main point was that it had sugar and tasted good.

And Sugarcube Corner was the perfect place to get what she wanted. Sitting on a table she’d happily started munching down on everything the place had to offer, to occupy and distract herself from the thoughts she was having all day.

Once a plate was empty and the taste vanished from her mouth though, her mind instantly went to her sister again and the predicament she was in.

So she ordered another plate.

And another one.

And one after that…-

Seven plates in, Luna noticed how much she already had consumed and felt unattractive and fat, which depressed her and brought along yet more eating.

“Maybe I can eat myself out of this mess, making myself undesirable for my sister?” thought Luna, before a pang struck her heart.

The notion that her sister would find her ugly bothered her greatly for some reason, and she threw self-conscious glances at her flank before she stopped eating and pushed the tray of sweets away.

She suddenly heard giggles and the feeling of someone tugging at her legs, which made her look under the table. The next thing she felt was something very wet and very cold shoved in her left eye.

Out of the good right eye she saw a pegasus and unicorn foal under the table smiling and laughing at her. The unicorn was holding an empty ice cream cone with her magic. That solved the mystery of the substance in her eye.

“Pumpkin Cake, Pound Cake!” yelled Mrs. Cake and hurried to Luna’s table with a tray on her head, “I’m so sorry your Highness, please don’t be upset with them!”

Luna wiped the melted ice cream from her face and looked at her reflection in a window to see if she got it off completely.

“Don’t worry my little pony, I love children and could never be mad at one,” said Luna, levitating the two giggling fillies on her table and giving them both a cupcake from her tray.

Mrs. Cake smiled while balancing the tray on her head. “That’s good to hear, many customers don’t like to be bothered by them. Pinkie Pie usually looks after the twins, but sadly she’s otherwise occupied at the moment.”

“Who would be bothered by you two little sunshines?” said Luna and got closer with her face to the two fillies.

She jerked when Pumpkin Cake threw her muffin and hit her square on the nose.

Mrs. Cake couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh my, these two are quite a hoofful.”

She glanced at the stack of used trays and then at the surprised princess who was busy rubbing her nose. “Trouble in paradise?”

“How do you know?” asked a perplexed Luna as she took the hoof from her nose.

A smug grin appeared on Mrs. Cake’s face. “I’ve had a lot of customers over the years and can tell when someone tries to drown their sorrow in chocolate. May I be so bold to ask what is bothering you, your Highness?”

Hesitant at first, Luna wasn’t sure if she should share her thoughts with somepony. The two foals looking at her with tilted heads and the warm smile from Mrs. Cake finally convinced her to tell them the truth.

At least some of it.

“There’s this mare…” said Luna, while fiddling nervously with her hooves.

Mrs. Cake eyes widened in realization and she put down the tray of pastries, taking a seat at the table. “And you like her?”

Luna blushed for a moment and avoided eye contact. Slowly and barely noticeable, she nodded and blushed even harder before hiding her face with her hooves. The sight of the overly embarrassed princess, behaving like a little school filly with a crush warmed Mrs. Cake’s heart.

“Does she like you?”

Thinking back at the bathtub incident, Luna gulped as her mouth run dry. “I’m almost certain there’s at least affection for me.”

“Then what’s the problem?” asked Mrs. Cake frowning in confusion.

Luna thought about it. Any possible scenario where she and her sister became a couple ended in a disaster. There were so many things that could go wrong, not to speak from the moral aspect of having a relationship with your sister.

What if it doesn’t work out? How could she stay in a good terms with her after a possible breakup? What would the ponies think once she openly showed more than sisterly love in public? And there was still the possibility that she horribly misinterpreted her sister’s intentions. It was a small possibility, but it was there nonetheless.

She hung her head and sighed heavily. “The situation is complicated. I fear the consequences if something goes wrong and many ponies wouldn’t approve or react to it with disdain.”

Mrs. Cake gave Luna an understanding look and glanced at Mr. Cake at the counter, who gave her a bright smile.

“I did a lot of things ponies didn’t agree with, including marrying my husband.”

Luna also glanced at Mr. Cake and the stallion got nervous about that, wondering why he was suddenly the center of their attention. His wife reassuringly shook her head and he relaxed before walking back in the kitchen.

“He was a simple pony back then, barely talented at baking despite his Cutie Mark. I gave him his first and last job as baker at Sugarcube Corner and he was so thankful that he worked harder than anypony I’ve ever seen.”

Mrs. Cake waved Luna closer and she whispered over the table. “Don’t tell him that I said this, but nowadays I think he’s actually better than me in the bakery.”

Rolling her eyes, Luna waited for the rest of the story with a smirk. It lessened when she saw that Mrs. Cake suddenly deadpanned.

“Of course once we started going out, ponies started to talk. Was that the reason he got the job? Employment for a little something, something?”

“That’s a horrible thing to say!” said Luna, outraged of the prospect that somepony would insinuate something like that.

Mrs. Cake got a warm and fuzzy feeling in her belly. The fact that the princess was so affected by it showed her goodheartedness. The same goodheartedness she found in many ponies in Ponyville.

There had been others though...

“Many ponies also said to me back in the day that it was a mistake to employ Pinkie Pie in the bakery,” said Mrs. Cake thinking about the day the party pony stepped over her doorstep as a little filly.

Pinkie had been a nightmare to deal with at the beginning, causing trouble and mayhem all over the bakery. Mrs. Cake chuckled at the thought of how many bags of flour and baskets of eggs they wasted. Nopony would have judged them if they’d kicked her out. But Mr. and Mrs. Cake had seen something in that little filly that eventually turned her into a great baker.

The urge to make ponies happy with her creations.

“They thought Pinkie was mentally unstable and too hyperactive, some even called her creepy back then.”

“Aunty Pie, honk!” said Pumpkin Cake and touched her brother on the nose.

Luna watched the two foals at the table as they started to bop each other on the nose and giggled. All the more reason, why the next statement from Mrs. Cake filled her with dread.

“And don’t get me started on the talking behind my back once Pumpkin Cake and Pound Cake were born. An earth pony couple with a unicorn and pegasus foal? The slander and gossip practically created itself.”

That scared Luna. Even in something so wonderful like those two healthy and beautiful foals, ponies found something vile and hurtful to say. She shuddered, thinking what they would say about her if she made her feelings known.

Mrs. Cake sighed heavily, but then put on a content smile.

“I could have focused on all those negative things that happened in my life because of the decisions I made, but I’d rather be thankful for the things I’ve got. A wonderful and caring husband, the sweetest employee and aunt, and finally two beautiful and healthy foals that I can pamper with my love.”

She affectionately stroked her foals heads and they both looked up to her mother.

“I learned early that no matter what you decide in life you shouldn’t doubt yourself because of others. If something or someone makes you happy and it doesn’t hurt somebody else, why should you care about what the ponies say?”

“What if it doesn’t work out?” asked Luna silently and almost in a whisper.

Mrs. Cake put her hoof on Luna’s and looked her deep in the eyes to make clear that the next part was important. “There’s a fine line between something that was worth it and what was a waste of your time, but unless you try you won’t ever know.”

After the Hoofball game...

Diamond Tiara sat there by herself in an empty dressing room with a towel over her head and contemplated what had happened. No matter how you look at it, the whole matter boiled down to one single fact.

She had lost.

Again.

The Detrot Busters had given it their all, but against the raw muscle power of a team full of minotaurs it simply wasn’t enough. They got a few points in and gave the audience the illusion of a close game.

After the game they immediately bailed and left her alone.

Silver Spoon also had left, knowing Diamond Tiara long enough to not bother her when she was in this state of mind. She would talk to her tomorrow about their further plans.

A small chuckle escaped her lips and it echoed in the empty dressing room. Sometimes she got the feeling that some kind of higher power was plotting against her. This time it was literally a higher power who was spitting in her cornflakes.

Diamond Tiara never would have thought that the princess would help the Cutie Mark Crusaders in such a way.

That effectively eliminated the power and influence advantage she had over them, turning her into the underdog. Apple Bloom was the sister of an Element of Harmony and had the favour of at least two princesses. Not to mention, the fact that the Apple Family was one of the oldest and most liked families in town.

“I couldn’t get any more handicaps, If I tried!” thought Diamond Tiara as she pulled the towel from her head.

The door to the dressing room opened and in came last pony she wanted to see right now.

Her father.

“Hello my little sweetheart, I just wanted to check on you after your big game.”

Filthy Rich wore his usual fancy suit and styled mane, looking like he came right from a business meeting. It wouldn’t surprise Diamond Tiara if he had one during her game. Some of those stallions around him had been pretty indifferent to the game and only talked to him.

He looked around the dressing room and frowned. “Are you all alone in here? Where are the other players?”

“They left daddy.”

His frown deepened and he sighed. “You would think after all the sponsorship and money I gave them that they would stay around longer.”

“I’m sorry daddy.”

Filthy Rich waved it off. “Oh I don’t blame you Diamond. I didn’t think you could win after they pulled the stunt with the minotaurs.”

“Yeah, I noticed once you stopped cheering…” thought Diamond Tiara.

Pulling out a envelope, her father opened it and looked through the documents. Those were contracts with ink so fresh that he had to be careful not to smudge them. Now she definitely knew what he was doing on his seat during her game.

“The publicity for my store was good regardless, I mean ponies will talk about this game for months!”

She rolled with her eyes. Her father always knew how to find something positive in a situation, and most of the time also a bucketload of money. That he had to make money out of her loss irked her somewhat, but it was the clever thing to do.

“Talking about publicity, did you have to headbutt the daughter of the Apple family? The game was already over.”

Diamond Tiara had a big grin on her face, but looked down so that her father wouldn’t notice. That had been the only good moment in this game. Granted, Diamond Tiara was almost certain that she had hurt herself more than Apple Bloom and her stone-hard head.

The look on her face when she hit the ground had been priceless though.

“Sorry daddy, I got caught up in the excitement and didn’t hear the whistle. It won’t happen again.”

Filthy Rich gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder. “That’s my little girl. Now while you get changed I’ll go and find some ice for that bump on your head.”

On the doorstep he turned around and looked at his little girl. Diamond Tiara had her usual serious expression, that she wore when she thought that he wasn’t looking.

“And don’t worry about that little loss Diamond, you’re destined for great things. Even your cutie mark says so,” said Filthy Rich and walked out the door.

Alone again in the dressing room she looked at her flank and then at the ceiling deep in thought.

“Yeah, I guess it does…”

Outside the Hoofball field…

Applejack stood there barely able to contain her anger, with her friends a good portion away from her and looking awkwardly around not wanting to get involved.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo hid under Frank, each of them clamping down on a leg from him.

At first Applejack had focused her tirade on those two, telling them how disappointed she was and how this would have serious consequences. The target of her ire and shouting changed immediately to Frank once it was clear that he had made it possible.

He made it as obvious as possible that he was very unimpressed by it.

“Who the hay do you think you are putting your nose into family matters?”

Frank pointed at his crown. “You mean besides that? I’m just doing my job.”

Applejack paused and twitched with her left eye. She had no idea what that meant and waited for Frank to elaborate.

He did, but she wouldn’t be satisfied with it. “Apple Bloom is one of my subjects and she came to me asking for help, and I did so what’s the problem here?”

“What’s the…?” said Applejack and turned to Twilight for help, “say something Twilight!”

Twilight looked from Frank to Applejack and raised her hooves. “I’m staying out of this, regardless of what I do I lose. What’s the point?”

“Way to take a hardline stance on things Twilight. I hope your plot doesn’t get cold, being caught between two stools,” thought Frank with a deadpan look before turning back to Applejack.

“I also want to point out that she came to me and not to you, her sister. Think about that.”

Frank heard the sound of grinding teeth and feared for Applejack’s dental health at this point.

“You little…” said Applejack and bit on her own tongue to stop herself.

Frank pressed his face against hers. “What? Little what? Come on tell me what you have to say! Vent your aggression on somepony other than a little filly for a change!”

At this moment, an orange hoof smacked him right in the face. Frank tumbled backwards and rubbed his nose, looking at the horrified Applejack who still had her hoof stretched out after the blow.

Everyone went dead silent, holding their breath and waiting for Frank’s reaction.

Applejack started sweating when Frank spit out a small amount of blood and licked his teeth. She had assaulted royalty, something they could throw her in jail for. Who would look after the farm? Who would buy something from a family with a pony sentenced for attacking a princess?

And most importantly, why did Applejack get goosebumps from the look she was getting from Princess Celestia?

“From the look on your face I can tell that you know what you just did. Hence I’ll save you the whole nonsense where I dance around the issue and come directly to the point.”

Frank had enough of this. This was the second time in the span of two days that he was violently decked in the face from a talking pony, and quite frankly was losing his patience.

Applejack wants to play rough? Okay let’s play rough!

“Let’s make deal shall we? You let those little fillies off the hook and un-ground them, and I’ll overlook the fact that you pretty much committed treason right now.”

He let his words sink in and waited for a reaction. The meaning soon became evident to the rest and they gasped in shock, but Frank decided to go a step further.

“Alternatively you can decide to be stubborn and we both find out where this goes. It’s your call.”

Frank felt a tugging at his left front leg and looked down in the worried face of Apple Bloom. He winked at her when nobody was watching and her face relaxed.

Applejack though, was far from being relaxed. “That… That’s blackmail and a blatant abuse of your authority!”

“Yeah, it kinda is, isn’t it?” said Frank innocently as if he was talking about the weather, before reaching out with his right front leg, “do we have an agreement?”

Again the sound of grinding teeth, before Applejack grabbed his hoof and shook it hard enough to almost dislocate his shoulder.

Frank grinned. “I knew you would see it my way, Applejack. You always were the rational one of the bunch. My offer still stands by the way, if you need anything don’t hesitate to ask away!”

“I don’t want anything from you, princess,” said Applejack, emphasizing the princess part with pure unadulterated scorn in her voice, “let’s go home Apple Bloom, Granny Smith should have finished making supper by now!”

“Oh snap! One more for the ‘I hate Frank list’ to write down,” thought Frank, then shook his numb hoof to get feeling into it again.

Applejack and Applebloom left, with only Apple Bloom stopping briefly to wave Frank goodbye. The rest of them stood there in awkward silence and were not sure how to go from here.

Rainbow Dash was the first to break the ice. “So... Scootaloo you were awesome back there, I can’t believe how fast you were running!”

Scootaloo really had been the star of the game. While the minotaurs and Apple Bloom did mostly just block or made a clear path, Scootaloo was the one scoring all the points.

Blazing over the field like a bullet, nobody was able to catch her. Never slowing down with her seemingly endless pool of stamina, she soon ran circles around the tired Detrot Busters. Scootaloo couldn’t remember a time when she had ever felt so good.

The cheers, the smell of the grass under her hooves, the feeling when she had passed and evaded yet another player, everything had been so mind-boggling awesome. She was almost sad that the game ended and wished she could have played some more.

Some of the players from the Detrot Busters even came to her after the game and asked if she was interested in playing junior league in Detrot. She had achieved much today and Scootaloo’s chest swelled with pride.

Rainbow Dash patted her on the head. “Learn to fly as fast as that and maybe you can get close to my level of awesome.”

And just like that she deflated again.

“Even now she finds a way to make it about herself,” thought Scootaloo with a deadpan look.

Out of her eyes she saw some of the players from the Detrot Busters giving autographs and making photos with fans. She shoved Rainbow’s hoof from her head and the prismatic pegasus almost fell over from the sudden movement.

“Sure, whatever. Excuse me, I’ve got to be somewhere,” said Scootaloo and joined the crowd of fans around the Detrot Busters.

Rainbow Dash watched as the players recognized her in the crowd and pulled her closer for a conversation. Somewhere in her gut this made her feel all gooey and she swallowed hard.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a sudden outcry from Twilight.

“Where the hell is Pinkie?”

A few streets away...

Pinkie Pie had so much to do before the end of the day and the start of her night shift.

The raging incompetence of her staff forced Pinkie to work night and day to prevent blunders. Nobody had her vision, so she delegated only the most menial of tasks and even those she supervised as often as possible.

Being dragged away by their friends had put a huge damper on that and she had to make up for lost time.

“First I supervise the delegation of the booth layout… or was it to delegate the supervision?... ah screw it, I do both!” thought Pinkie juggling her time schedule around in her head.

She had run herself ragged the last few days making sure that this was the best celebration in written history. But regardless of how hard she worked, Pinkie always found something she wasn’t satisfied with. A banner hung up too low, a booth standing slightly off the planned place, events not starting at the right time, in general wrong colors on everything, wrong flavours of foods and the list went on and on and on.

And Pinkie would have none of that! It had to be perfect, because she most likely wouldn’t get a chance like this again in her lifetime. The pressure and expectations from others, but mostly from herself were monstrous and she was having trouble to keep up.

A loud grumble came from her stomach. When was the last time she’d eaten something?

Pinkie pressed her head on a cold glass window. “Those goddamn headaches, they drive me insane!”

“I never thought that I would see the day when Pinkie Pie had a grumpy face.”

Pinkie spun her head around to the voice and recognized the donkey it belonged to. There stood Cranky the donkey with his blonde toupee and old tuxedo, smiling at Pinkie.

“Cranky, so nice to see you! Do you enjoy yourself? Please tell me you enjoy yourself!” said Pinkie happily, but stopped suddenly and rubbed her head.

Cranky instantly saw that Pinke wasn’t looking so good. He remembered her usual antics and silliness, but now she just looked tired and desperate.

“Yes kid, it’s wonderful. Mathilda and I had a splendid time at the costume party.”

Pinkie’s mane deflated a little. “That wasn’t my idea...”

Seeing a sad Pinkie was an uncomfortable experience for Cranky and he quickly changed the subject. “Are you participating in the eating contest; putting that big mouth of yours to good use?”

“No Cranky, I’ve got no time to play games. The celebration doesn’t run itself you know?” said Pinkie as she sat down on her haunches, feeling a bit woozy.

Now Cranky was really getting freaked out. That wasn’t something Pinkie would say, but more like what he would’ve said way back in his grumpy days.

“Everything alright kid? You look pretty pale.”

Pinkie rummaged through her mane and pulled out a cupcake. “Don’t worry that’s normal. Sometimes I’m so busy with work or having so much fun that I forget to eat properly. It’s just low sugar and nothing a cupcake wouldn’t fix.”

Pinkie took a bite and immediately spat it out. Frowning at the half eaten cupcake, she put it away and pulled out another one to eat.

This one she also spat out in frustration. “What’s up with those cupcakes? They taste like copper and I smell strawberries, but these are without a doubt double chocolate. I know for sure, I made them after all!”

Pinkie glanced at Cranky, who had a look of concern on his face. As he got closer it turned to panic. “Why are you looking at me like that Croykey? Is there something on my face?”

Pinkie paused for a second. What did she just call him? That wasn’t his name...

“Try to smile Pinkie!” shouted Cranky and shook her violently.

She looked at her reflection in a nearby window and tried, but the left part of her face wasn’t moving. Pinkie wanted to touch it with her left hoof. It didn’t move up to her head, staying firmly rooted on the ground. “Wow that looks funny, I could get… goom… go on… wow, words are getting difficult!”

Pinkie was suddenly slung on Cranky’s back and he ran as fast as he could down the street. He passed several ponies he recognized, but didn’t have time to stop or the right frame of mind to make sure.

The big white one could have been the princess though.

“Where are we going, Cron… Crink… Croinky?” asked Pinkie, watching the houses and ponies they passed getting more blurry and undefined every second.

Cranky increased his speed, as he threw glances at the dazed Pinkie on his back.

“To the hospital kid, you’re having a stroke!”

Author's Note

This chapter was proofread by Asop.

Can't get you out of my head...

Endless white.

A seemingly endless and flat plane of white with no shape, color or shadow to disrupt the monotony in the scenery. The only frame of reference for the size of this place was a small pink dot in the middle. The curled up furry ball stirred and unfolded, revealing a snoring Pinkie.

A sudden flash of golden light and Frank stood beside the sleeping Pinkie who frowned at the sudden brightness and scrunched her face. He got closer and sat down beside her, just looking at her sleeping form with an unreadable expression.

Frank slowly put his hooves on Pinkie and shook her softly. “Hey Pinkie...”

Pinkie rolled away, mumbling something about frosting and chocolate rain. Drool left her mouth and spilled over the featureless white floor, soaking Frank’s hooves. He gently picked her up with his magic and sat her down on his back. Pinkie fell off though when she started gnawing on his butt and he involuntary bucked.

She hit the floor with a soft thud and jerked awake. “What!... Where!... Princess Celestia? What are you doing here? Where am I?”

Feeling a bit disoriented, she looked around the empty white plane and then at Frank’s neutral face. Pinkie vaguely remembered what had happened, but had no idea where she was now. Starting to think about possible places, her eyes went wide once she thought about a certain one.

“Did I die? Is this the afterlife? I sure hope not, I mean look at this boring place!”

Frank cringed as he remembered the moment they had arrived at the hospital and the following chaos. The feeling of uncertainty he had in that waiting room like a bucket of ice water in his gut, and he relaxed after the first diagnosis.

“No, Pinkie you’re not dead. You’re just unconscious after the stroke you had.”

Pinkie went pale at the word ‘unconscious’ and ‘stroke’, then she started shaking.

He continued quickly to ease her fear. “Don’t worry Pinkie, Cranky got you fast enough to the hospital and luckily it was just a mini stroke. I have no idea what that means in medical terms, but after some magical treatment you’re gonna be as good as new with no long term effects.”

“Magical Treatment?” intervened Pinkie into Frank’s speech and he eagerly nodded.

“Yep, and only from the best unicorn doctors that money can buy. It’s the least I can do, because after all I’m responsible for this.”

“And it would otherwise haunt me for the rest of my life, which now is practically endless with me being immortal” thought Frank and swallowed hard.

Pinkie frowned and tilted her head. “No, you’re not responsible. Why would you think that silly?”

Frank stared at Pinkie in disbelief. Was she joking right now? Of course he was responsible for this! He seldom took blame for something, mostly because he thought himself innocent most of the time. But now even he couldn’t deny the guilt, so why wasn’t she angry?

“That stroke was a result of stress and you neglecting your health, something you got and did because I made you plan this stupid festival of mine.”

Now Pinkie got angry, but for totally different reasons. “The festival isn’t stupid and I chose to do it because I wanted to. Ponies should stop treating me like I’m stupid or a little child in need of protection. I know what I’m doing!”

That comment caused a raised an eyebrow from Frank and he demonstratively looked around the white plane to make a point, something Pinkie didn’t miss to notice. “You know what I mean! My little moment of weakness is not a reason to cut the festival short.”

“Actually, I’m close to just aborting it entirely,” said Frank and sighed heavily, “this was supposed to be fun, but now i think it isn’t worth the hassle anymore. Time to cut the losses and wipe the slate clean.”

At this statement, Pinkie flipped out completely. Frank had anticipated something like this and he waited for her to use comprehensible words and phrases again. She did so eventually.

“You can’t do that! So many ponies enjoy it and love what I made possible! Please don’t ruin this for me!” cried Pinke as she threw himself to his hooves, clamping down on them.

Frank swallowed hard again before he asked the prepared question in a strained voice. “Pinkie..., tell me why do you like parties so much?”

Pinkie stopped clamping down on his legs and gave him a confused look. “That’s a silly question princess! I like parties because they make ponies happy!”

“And what are you Pinkie?” asked Frank and pointed at her.

She was used to hearing dumb questions, most of them came from her own mouth after all. Hearing a dumb question from the princess though, a pony who was supposed to be wise, baffled Pinkie and she answered with an amused chuckle.

“Another silly question! I’m a pony dummy, uhm… no offense princess.”

Frank put his hoof on her shoulder. “Are you happy right now?”

Pinkie opened her mouth to answer, but closed it again once a thought struck her. It wasn’t a great moment of enlightenment, just a small observation she managed to miss to this point. Yes, her efforts had made everypony happy, and yet she wasn’t able to make one particular pony happy.

And that was herself.

“Not really. Quite the opposite actually, but that’s no reason to make others unhappy too!”

Frank’s face softened. “Tell you what, I’ll keep the festival open and you promise me to take it easy from now on. Be a part of the party instead of the pony alone behind the curtain stressing out about everything.”

She looked away with a pout, but Frank grabbed her on both shoulders and turned her sharply to face him.

“Promise me!”

The fear and desperation in Frank’s eyes, caused Pinkie to stare wordlessly at him. She could feel his hooves on her shoulders shaking and after a while she nodded slowly.

That wasn’t enough for Frank. “A Pinkie Promise, Pinkie! This is important and I know you don’t break those!”

“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” said Pinkie quietly while doing the motions.

Frank let go of her and slumped back on his haunches. “Thank you…”

Silence ensued again with both of them not speaking to each other. Pinkie didn’t like it when things were quiet and unlively. She needed to say something, anything to break this silence and the pressure which was building in her ears.

“So..., if I’m unconscious right now and this is a dream, why is everything so white and boring?”

“Ok Frank, no time to be grouchy. This is about Pinkie and her having a good time!” thought Frank, before he turned to Pinkie with a large smile and explained the circumstances.

“You see the treatment prevents your mind from dreaming, but I thought that while you're sleeping you can use my dreams for entertainment.”

“I’m inside your head?” asked Pinkie, and for some reason started to sniff the floor.

Frank didn’t know why. “Well kinda, but don’t worry you will get out of here once you wake up.”

That was a relief to Pinkie. The prospect of being in this desolate white place for longer than needed wasn’t appealing to her. Frank saw her fiddle around nervously with her hooves before she looked at him with big eyes and a quivering lip.

“Could you stay with me until I do? I don’t want to be alone right now...”

Franks grin got wider. “I’ll do one better and find something to entertain ourselves. Let’s play a game!”

Another bright flash from his horn and they stood in a long corridor with hundreds of doors on each side. Not one door looked like the other with different shapes, colors and sizes. Frank had planned a little adventure for both of them to make Pinkie happy and for him to distract himself from the guilt he was feeling right now.

“Wow look at this humongous corridor, I can’t even see the end! How did you do that?” asked Pinkie, as she eyed the door closest to her with interest.

Frank shrugged with his shoulders. “Twilight makes it sound like an exact science, but out of my experience most magic is just a little bit more than vague wibble-wobble.”

“Wibble-wobble… I like that word! Almost as much as Kumquat!”

He watched Pinkie hop around him, singing the words kumquat, cherry changa and wibble-wobble in different music styles. Once she finished her opera version with an astounding deep tenor voice, Pinkie stood there out of breath and Frank clapped applause.

“That was nice, but let’s get back to the game. Every door in this corridor represents a random dream and place you’re free to choose to your liking.”

“Oh that sounds like fun! How does it work exactly?” asked Pinke and rubbed a door with her hoof.

Frank got in front of the closest door and opened it. “It’s simple Pinkie, just open the door and you’ll see—”

He got suddenly interrupted when a pink hoof with a knife stabbed just inches away from his head, and Pinkie yelped in surprise.

Frank threw himself against the door and wedged the stabbing hoof in the doorframe which caused it to drop the knife. Pinkie looked down to Frank’s hooves and saw that he desperately pressed one of it against the head of Apple Bloom who tried to get out.

Only problem was that this Apple Bloom had red glowing sockets instead of eyes and a coat as black as the night. The creepy moaning didn’t help either to make her appearance more friendly.

Pinkie shuddered when a familiar voice came through the door crack.

“LEt me oUt, I wAnT tO haVe fuN! Do yoU wAnt to taStE mY RaiNbOw CUpcAkes?”

“Back, back I say!” yelled Frank, kicking and stabbing through the door crack with his horn before he finally was able to close it.

Summoning a few wooden planks with nails and a hammer, he started to bar the door shut. “Ok, maybe not every door. You can decide which door and then you let me open it to check!”

“What the hell was that, and why did the first one sound like me?” asked Pinkie as she picked up the knife from the ground to look at it, “Is that ketchup?”

Frank glanced at Pinkie as she stuck her tongue out to lick it. He instantly let the knife vanish and returned to nailing the door shut. “My nightmares, and for the second part don’t ask you don’t want to know. This should be the only bad door, so decide the next.”

Pinkie looked around and saw a blue door with a moon on it. “Ok then, I want that one! What’s in there?”

He didn’t know himself. Frank made sure beforehand that everything was ponified to not reveal his secret, but that was all he knew about the content of these rooms. He inched closer to the blue door and Pinkie was right behind him, curiously peeking over his shoulder.

In an instant he ripped the door open and jumped back with his horn pointed at it. Nothing came out, so they both entered the dark room. The only light source was a spotlight, illuminating a single empty spot in the otherwise pitch black room.

“This isn’t as scary, but kinda boring. I wish there was more light in here.” said Pinkie and like on command the lights went on, revealing the room in all it’s glory.

And glorious it was indeed.

The room was a carbon copy of Luna’s chambers in Canterlot, but only bigger and with lots more stuff in it. There were pictures of Luna all over the walls, most of them harmless in nature, some more risque and caused Frank to blush.

On the floor were tons of Luna plushies in every size, and Pinkie was hugging one while rolling on the floor. Frank approached the nightstand and saw a picture in a golden frame. He picked it up with his magic to take a closer look and his face turned wistful.

It was a fake wedding picture with him as Celestia in a tuxedo and Luna in a beautiful white wedding dress, rubbing cake in each others faces. It was cheesy as hell but they both looked so happy, smiling at the camera and Frank was now entirely sure what this room was. He sighed and stared at it as hard as possible, trying to burn this picture into his memory.

Until suddenly, he only could see pink in his field of view.

Pinkie had climbed on his head and sat on his face to take a look at the picture he was holding. “Oh what is that? That wedding dress looks so pretty on Luna, but why are you wearing a suit? Only the groom wears… oooohhhh…. I get it!”

Frank placed the picture carefully on the nightstand and left the room with Pinkie levitating behind him.

“Forget what you’ve seen here Pinkie.”

She followed him in silence through the hallway, passing a dozen doors. Frank wondered why Pinkie wasn’t choosing anything, but finally attributed it to her being indecisive. After twenty doors he stopped though and turned around to her.

And there she was right in his face with a grin like cheshire cat. “You like her don’t you?”

“Of course I like her, she’s my sister!” said Frank, trying to sound as neutral as possible.

Pinkie pressed her hoof at his chest and poked him a few times. “Not like that dummy, and you know what I meant.”

He felt like a deer in the spotlight with those big sparkly eyes shining through his very soul and looking for an opening. Frank swallowed hard before he twitched with his right eye and Pinkie emitted a loud, triumphant hoot.

“Aha, knew it! Nothing gets past the Pinkie Sense! Not that I need it, you’re blindingly obvious!”

Frank turned around to lose eye contact and started walking. “Let’s change the subject, Pinkie. We’re here to have fun, aren’t we?”

“Okie dokie lokie!”

They didn’t have any further major incidents with the doors after that. One was a reimagining of ‘Charlie’s Chocolate Factory’, and Pinkie happily took a swim in the chocolate river. Turns out that swimming in molten chocolate is really hard, so Frank had to dive in after Pinkie to get her out.

He also learned that chocolate is really hard to remove once it got into your ears.

Another one was a Fun house with a mirror labyrinth, moving rooms, jump pads and everything else you could imagine to have fun. Pinkie loved it and asked Frank if she could change her wish from the cannon to a house like this. A request he gladly accepted.

They ate something in his favourite diner on earth with a pony version of the old waitress, who was always ridiculously generous with the refill of coffee and Pinkie wolfed down her own weight in pancakes. She didn’t want any of the fried bacon and eggs though, regardless of how often he teased her with it.

Several doors were just ponified versions of his favourite sitcoms and movies on earth and Frank didn’t think it would make it much funnier. He was wrong, things like the Charlie Sheen pony were priceless!

Frank left the last room holding his sides from laughter and suddenly couldn’t see Pinkie anymore who had exited before him. The third door to his left sprung open and Pinkie came out and closed it behind her.

“Hey did you go to have fun without me?”

“Nope, this room was pretty boring and nothing worth mentioning,” said Pinkie and her body suddenly flickered in and out of existence.

Frank’s smile dropped. He almost had forgotten that this wasn’t real.

“Seems like you’re waking up, Pinkie.”

The flickering became more frequent and Pinkie pouted in disappointment. “So soon? I want to look around some more!”

“I’m afraid so. See you on the other side…”

“Bye!” said Pinkie and waved before everything turned dark for a second.

When things became bright again, Pinkie could only see white at first and feared she was in that boring place from the beginning. Slowly but surely her sight cleared and the blurred outlines of the things in the room got more recognizable. She was lying in a hospital bed with a faint beeping sound in the air from a nearby ECG-monitor. A short golden flash and Frank stood besides her bed.

“Hello again, how are you feeling?”

She tried to get up with great effort, but Frank put his hoof on her chest and pushed her down. Pinkie didn’t resist, sinking back into the pillow. “Not as good as I did in the dream, but the headaches are gone at least.”

They both heard commotion outside and looked at the door.

“...So they are finally finished?...”

“... Just felt the magical spike...no not you Spike!...”

“... Let’s get in there!... I don’t want to leave Pinkie alone with ‘her’...”

“Love you too, Applejack…” thought Frank and opened the door with his magic.

Twilight and the rest of her friends all suddenly fell inside the room and dogpiled in front of Pinkie’s bed. A gruff looking unicorn stallion with a cutie mark of a house with a red cross in it, entered right behind them as they tried to get on their hooves again.

“Ah it seems like the patient is finally awake. Greetings Ms. Pie, my name is Doctor House and I’m the pony responsible for your treatment.”

“No freaking way…” thought Frank as he looked at the brown stallion as he walked beside Pinkie’s bed with a noticeable limp.

“You’re a resilient pony Ms. Pie, more than anypony I’ve seen in my career. You’re gonna be fine in no time, but for your sake things will have to change. You’ve been lucky that this resolved itself so smoothly. In the future though you can’t rely on being so lucky again.”

Pinkie got a sad look on her face. “So no more parties and fun?”

“No, nothing that drastic,” said the doctor and looked at Pinkie’s clipboard, “as I said you’re quite literally the most resilient pony I’ve ever met and yet you managed to push it to the limit. We’ve taken some blood and I’ve never seen such high sugar levels without any negative ramifications. I’ve sent a sample to Canterlot for study, might help us to find a cure for diabetes.”

“She’s a borderline superpony!” thought Twilight as she snatched the clipboard from Dr. House’s hoof and looked at the results of the blood test.

The stallion snatched it back from Twilight and bonked her on the head with it. “You’re still vital enough for ten ponies, just don’t do things that would be enough to kill twenty and your fine. I recommend regular check ups though once the treatment is over to be on the safe side.”

Frank noticed that no one else except from Twilight and the doctor had said anything. They all just stared at him with apprehension and in Applejack’s case with disdain. Realizing that they didn’t want him here, he wordlessly went for the door.

“Princess?” said Pinkie, and Frank stopped in the doorway to signalize her that he was listening, “what’s a Frank?”

Frank’s body froze in place and he turned his head slightly to glance at the smiling Pinkie. Where the hell did she get his name? He had an eye on her the whole time and made sure to ponify everything they saw. There wasn’t a single moment when she could have seen something.

Unless…

His eyes went wide. The door she opened and closed herself! How could he have been so stupid to let her look on her own! What had she seen and what did she now know about him?

“I’ll tell you another time,” said Frank and cleared his throat to get the high pitched tone out of it.

“Okie Dokie Lokie!”

The rest of the ponies and the small purple dragon in the room watched their conversation with confused looks. Feeling the heat of their stares on his face, Frank hurried out of the hospital room as fast as possible. Once outside he sat down on a bench in the entrance hall and breathed heavily.

This had been too close for comfort and Frank felt like he dodged a bullet today. All joking aside, Frank didn’t know if he would’ve been able to forgive himself if something had happened to Pinkie. Involuntary or not, he could’ve been responsible for the death of someone.

Time to get his shit together.

The entrance door flew open with Mr. and Mrs. Cake running inside to the reception desk, both of them carrying one of their foals in special saddlebags. A little bit behind came Luna and she instantly noticed Frank on the bench.

The Cake’s only had eyes for the poor reception mare, shouting at her while she frantically searched for the number of Pinkie’s hospital room.

“It’s one-zero-four,” said Frank from his lonely seat, not looking up from the floor.

They stared at Frank and uttered a small thank you before running down the hallways. Luna stayed with Frank and took a close look at him. He had ditched all his royal accessories like the crown and the golden slippers. There were stains on his white coat and his mane looked like an unkempt mess.

“You look tired, Tia.”

A bright flash later which caused Luna to shield her eyes, and Frank sat there in full royal regalia and prismatic flowing mane. The stonily expression on his face remained though, coupled with him being silent as a rock.

Luna thought that her sister maybe needed some peace and quiet to think for herself and she turned around to join the Cake’s down the hall. She stopped dead in her tracks when a question from him hit her out of nowhere.

“Have you ever thought that you’re a bad pony?”

He looked up from the floor and saw that he had made her uneasy with that question. Thinking about her past as Nightmare Moon, that should’ve been obvious to him. “Forget my question, that was a stupid thing to ask you.”

“No, don’t worry about it! Why do you ask me that?” said Luna and stepped closer.

“Yes ,why indeed?” thought Frank and bit his lip hard enough to draw a little blood.

“I didn’t think that I’m a bad pers… pony, but lately everything points in the opposite direction. It was so much fun at beginning, letting myself go for the first time in my life and not to worry about the consequences. The feeling of being absolutely untouchable, regardless of what I was doing.”

Frank buried his face in his hooves and went silent again. Luna got even closer as she heard a dry chuckle, which creeped her out somewhat. Despite him pouring out his heart to Luna, he didn’t really say anything which had compromised his identity. Frank would’ve laughed louder at this feat, if he didn’t feel so shitty at the moment.

“And one near tragedy shatters the invincible me almost to pieces. I’m such a sappy chump.”

Her sister was in bad place right now, Luna could tell this much. She knew out of self-experience what such thoughts could do to somepony and was suddenly motivated to get Tia out of this. She sat down besides him and nuzzled his ear to get his attention.

Frank put the hooves from his face and watched Luna smile at him. “You must be hungry after being in here all night. Want to eat lunch with me?”

Looking at the nearby clock, Frank raised his eyebrow. “Lunch? It’s eight in the morning Luna.”

“So what? Let’s go to that restaurant we were before, I want to try that steak again!” said Luna as she pulled Frank on his right hoof and from the bench.

She would later drag him all the way through Ponyville, refusing to let go of him and Frank couldn’t help but smile a bit all the way.

Back inside Pinkie’s hospital room...

“Don’t you ever dare to scare us like this again, we were so worried about you once the news reached us!”

Mrs. Cake sat there on Pinkie’s bed and almost hugged the filling out of her with Mr. Cake standing just behind. He knew his wife was the more emotional type with the need to express her feelings physically and didn’t want to barge in between them. Mr. Cake shared the notion with his wife that Pinkie was like a daughter to them and had been equally shocked at the news.

“Sadly, we had to hear it from somepony on the street!” said Mrs. Cake and eyed the embarrassed looking Twilight and her friends with an angry glare before it softened again looking around the room, “where’s Cranky? I’ve got to give him a big hug for his heroic deed!”

Twilight cleared her throat to get Mrs. Cake’s attention. “He stayed a while after he brought Pinkie here, but left once the princess and us arrived. Said something about it being too crowded for his taste.”

“That old, loveable grouch…”

Pinkie hugged Mrs. Cake back. “I’m sorry for scaring you and I Pinkie Promise that won't happen again. I’ll back out as party planner for this festival and come back to Sugarcube Corner.”

Suddenly she let go of Mrs. Cake and stared down at her blanket. The next words out of her mouth were a little hoarse. “Given that you still want me as an employee?”

Mrs. Cake almost looked angry and Pinkie feared the worst, but then she got hugged again and this time even tighter. “Don’t ask such a stupid question, of course we do!”

“What about the festival? You’re just gonna abandon it?” asked Rainbow Dash, before she got the mother of all jabs in the ribs from Applejack and a look from the rest that could have turned her into stone.

Pinkie didn’t mind Rainbow Dash’s comment and looked at the ceiling. “I wrote down clear instructions for every single day, that should be enough for the rest of my staff to go on without me.”

She watched Pumpkin Cake and Pound Cake, sitting on her blanket.

“It’s better this way and it opens up time for my new project,” said Pinkie and bopped the twins on the noses, smiling when they made honk noises.

Her friends exchanged worried glances and Twilight stepped forward to address her. “What project are you talking about?”

Somewhere else in Ponyville, Frank felt a cold shiver going down his spine.

“It’s obvious silly, bringing Princess Celestia and Princess Luna together as a couple!”

Author's Note

The next chapter and earlier as planned (I give up on giving ETA's. They come when they're done :P)

Proofread once again by Asop.

The Setup...

How Frank could be sitting here eating steak at eight in the morning was a mystery to him. Not that Frank hadn’t eaten weird stuff at weird times, but a five star menu wasn’t one of them. He was more the beer with cereal kinda guy.

Pair it with the overly friendly and sugary behaviour from Luna, and Frank got a morning that was unusual even for his standards.

For some reason she acted different and Frank didn’t know why. He first thought that Luna was nice because of his bad mood, wanting to cheer him up. His mood improved pretty fast when they arrived at the restaurant, and yet she didn’t stop acting weird.

Luna used her princess authority to get it to open for them. The griffon chef got over his grumpiness once he saw that they were his customers. He escorted the two alicorns to their usual table with a huge smile on his beak.

Soon some curious ponies from the street entered the restaurant and sat down too.

At the dinner table she ordered salad again, but Frank seemed to recall that Luna wanted steak. He ate his in silence only to feel really uncomfortable for some reason. Each time he looked up from his plate Luna’s head turned away with an innocent expression on her face. Curious what the fuss was about, Frank turned his attention to his food again.

He could see her in the reflection of his wine glass and indeed there she was, gazing longingly at his steak before throwing glances at her own flank.

Frank smiled. “Did I ever tell you what my type of mare is?”

Luna did her best to look indifferent, but Frank saw how her ears perked up.

“A mare with a healthy appetite,” said Frank and pushed his plate to Luna, “now why don’t you put away this pesky rabbit food and enjoy a good meal?”

She was obviously tempted and licked her lips to prove it. “I’ve already overindulged on sweets yesterday, Tia. Those calories go straight to my flank!”

Suppressing a snicker, Frank reached over the table to touch her hoof. The fact that even here in the magical land of Equestria were females with beauty complexes struck him as odd. Most of them had the same body type and Frank wouldn’t be able to tell them apart without their manes and different colors.

Except for Luna of course.

“Luna, let me be totally honest. You’ve got without a doubt the most well-toned and perfect butt a pony could ask for, and if you remember I checked it quite thoroughly in our morning bubble bath. I’m a butt mare myself so I know what I’m talking about.”

“Thank god that I’m not a boob man. I would starve!” thought Frank, taking a sip from his glass.

Out of his eyes he could see that this comment was most likely a bit too much again, evident by her flaming red head and the nervous squirming on her pillow. Frank couldn’t help it, even if it made him sound like a horny teenager. Luna was goddamn sexy!

“Thank you for that compliment…” said Luna, timidly cutting herself some steak.

Once the piece of meat vanished into her mouth, Luna melted into her pillow and moaned in pleasure from the heavenly taste. She had felt so guilty the first time for eating an animal. The griffon cook ensured her shortly after that all animals used for cooking died from natural causes. Tia didn’t seem to care much about it, but Luna felt a huge weight lifted from her shoulders at that time.

“See, isn’t that better? You look so much prettier without that frown on your face.”

Luna pouted with her cheeks full of food and Frank thought it was simply adorable. He took a big gulp from his glass and mimicked her pout with his mouth full of wine.

“Stop that!” said Luna with a blush before poking him in the chest with enough force to cause him to spit out the wine in a large red mist.

Right into her face.

The few customers who were there went suddenly silent and looked flabbergasted at the dripping princess, something they had in common with Frank. His look had additionally a good portion of horror mixed in it though. Once again he’d achieved to ruin the mood completely.

She swallowed her food and opened her eyes which made Frank hold his breath, bracing himself for the inevitable freakout. He winced at the first sound out of Luna’s mouth, but relaxed when he recognized it as laughter.

Soon she sat there laughing her flank off with tears in her eyes, and Frank joined in shortly after. Although he didn’t know why. The laugh of Luna was just so contagious.

“You’re such a disaster, Tia!” said Luna with rosy cheeks, trying to catch her breath, “but at least you’re no longer moody. Can you give me those napkins?”

Frank stood up from his pillow with the napkins in his hooves. “Here let me help you.”

He sat down in front of Luna and wiped the wine off of her. You couldn’t see it on her dark coat, but the smell of wine emitted from her in strong waves. It smelled good though, mixing with Luna’s natural scent and the perfume she wore. Frank didn’t notice that he had stopped wiping and stared now blankly at her, inhaling the pleasant scent.

“We’re so close right now and the moment seems fine. Should I ask her?” thought Luna, swallowing hard, “Just do it! Four little words: Do you like me?”

Luna put her hoof on Frank’s. “Tia…?”

Her touch brought Frank out of his revery and he instantly panicked. Had he just stood there, gaping at her and breathing deeply like an idiot?

“God, I’m such a creep!” thought Frank before answering her.

“Yes?”

“You’re out of wine.”

Frank raised an eyebrow and looked at his empty bottle. “You’re right, but i think I’ve had enough.”

Frank turned back to his meal, scolding himself inside his mind.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!”

After that they’d eaten their meals in silence and returned back to the ship. Luna had locked herself up inside her quarters. Frank didn’t know if he did something wrong, but the following sound of mayhem from her cabinet deterred him from prying. With nothing to do he had sat down on his desk and started this little project.

Recent events prompted him to think about the last few days. The thing with Pinkie was still fresh in his mind and there was another pony who needed some attention from him.

Applejack…

While the others were wary of him, Applejack was downright hostile.

The funny thing was that she ranked in the top ten of his favourites in the show, maybe even his second place on certain days. Frank felt bad about the fact that a major character didn’t like him. He still thought that helping Apple Bloom was the right choice, but could see why Applejack reacted the way she did.

An official apology came to mind, and what’s more official than a hoofwritten letter? It sounded simple enough to put a few words in a line, sprinkle some sorry’s and heartfelt phrases in it, and end the whole thing with a little joke to lighten the mood.

The problem was that he was Frank. And Frank didn’t do apologies.

“... I didn’t expect your shortsightedness in the matter, and shouldn’t have caused your bad temper to…” said Frank loudly to himself before furiously crossing out the line he just wrote, “I managed to insult her twice in one sentence! How do I do that?”

The more he thought about it, the more it became obvious to him what this was all about. He didn’t apologize because he was in the wrong, just to make himself feel better. Doing something nice for her should be enough to ease his conscience. Something to balance his bad karma out.

A good deed was a good deed, regardless of the knowledge from the beneficiary. That is what Frank thought at least.

“Maybe I should deliver it with a mountain of cash and hope she doesn’t read too thorough.”

Frank knew this was only wishful thinking. The stubborn farm pony would never have accepted any gifts from him, even before their argument and his blackmail. At first she was just prideful and didn’t want to take alms from somepony, but now she just hated his guts. Frank had a feeling that Applejack would rather burn any gift money he sent than spending it.

So if he wanted to do something nice for Applejack, he had to do it in a way that she hated the most.

Underhanded and deceitful, much more Frank’s style.

“How do I get her to take my money if she doesn’t want it?” thought Frank, looking at the gift basket he bought for Pinkie as get-well present.

It had several assorted delicacies from all over Equestria, such as the finest chocolates and sugary treats, an assortment of premium fruit juices and complemented by several foreign and local fruits. Local fruits like apples from Sweet Apple Acres.

Frank`s eyes went wide.

“Apples!” he yelled in glee, raising one of the red ones to the sky, “that’s it, of course! Goddamn apples!”

He unrolled a new piece of paper and started writing, whistling a joyful tune. This time the quill practically flew over it.

“Who’s a silly and soon very happy pony? Applejack! ...I wonder if minotaurs like apples?”

Carousel Boutique…

Concentration was everything. Most of the books Sweetie Belle had read about magic talked about complicated energy patterns and guidance of the inner spiritual flow to do spells. She had tried doing it like that, but soon got frustrated by the slow progress and reverted to her old pattern.

Repetition, repetition and more repetition.

If she only got one percent better with every hundredth try, Sweetie Belle would just have to do hundred tries a hundred times. It didn’t have style or finesse, but every single spell she did in that way burned itself into her mind until doing it was as natural as breathing.

She had focused entirely on levitation for the last few days and was right now in the middle of another set. The chair in front of her turned and tilted according to her will. Forward, backwards, thirty degrees left, sixty degrees right, barrel roll and finally...

“SWEETIE BELLE!”

She jerked and the chair bursted aparted, showering her in wooden splinters and sawdust. Flipping around in a defensive stance, Sweetie Belle saw Apple Bloom and Scootaloo right behind her with sour looks on their faces.

“How did you get in here? Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

Apple Bloom picked a piece of wood out of her mane and coughed out some sawdust before answering. “The door was open and I hardly call that sneaking. We both screamed our lungs out, calling for you all the way to your room. When you practice you’re really far gone, aren’t you?”

Sweetie Belle blushed in embarrassment. It was true, she really was absentminded while training and got on Rarity’s nerves more than once because of it. Not hearing her call for supper, giving her the wrong tools while playing around with them or simply the amount of damage she’d do to things in the house.

She was so glad that Rarity didn’t see the dented boiler in the basement, although the reason wasn’t the nicest one. Sweetie Belle had heard about Pinkie and wanted to ask her sister what happened, but Rarity was too tired and gone straight to bed.

Once she got up, Rarity went straight to the library to meet with her friends and told Sweetie to housesit Carousel Boutique. Thinking about how easy Apple Bloom and Scootaloo got in here without her noticing, Sweetie felt that she didn’t do a good job.

“Hello?” said Scootaloo and bonked her on the horn, “don’t space out on us!”

Sweetie rubbed it and blushed again. “Right, sorry! What brings you here? Did you win?”

“With flying colors!” said Scootaloo and proudly flared her wings, “You should’ve seen us, stomping the competition into the ground. Those minotaurs rocked!”

Apple Bloom saw the questioning look on Sweetie Belle’s face and shortly summarized what happened at the hoofball game, Scootaloo adding the parts she thought were the most awesome. Sweetie wished that she could’ve been there, but training for the competition was more important right now. She told them that after they were finished and both waved it off, understanding her situation.

Scootaloo put down her saddlebag and sat on the floor. “I still don’t get why you have to do this on your own. It would be so easy to ask Twilight or Princess Celestia for help with magic to increase your chances. So why don’t you want help?”

“Because then it wouldn’t be me entering, just somepony else through me.” said Sweetie Belle with a serious face, “When I used magic to fight off Silver Spoon it was something most ponies would call a pathetic display for a pony of my age. But for me it was the first time I did something on my own and with my own strength.”

She took a deep breath, looking at Scootaloo’s wings and continued.

“Picture yourself being flown around by Rainbow Dash all the time. Sure you get from A to B, but with no sense of accomplishment. You wouldn’t want that and that’s the same reason I don’t want help with this. I need to see how far I can come on my own.”

Apple Bloom was speechless, and so was Scootaloo. When did Sweetie Belle become so mature? When did all of them for that matter? Going against her sister for her own beliefs, Scootaloo following her own dreams and stepping out of Rainbow Dash’s shadow and now Sweetie Belle wanting to leave a mark in the world.

All accomplished by a little pep talk from the princess and some determination. Apple Bloom felt the need to show the princess some gratitude.

“We still have to discuss our future plans with the Cutie Mark Crusaders and how to handle Diamond Tiara.”

“Can we do this while I train?” asked Sweetie Belle, fiddling with her hooves, “I promise to keep my attention and it’s gonna be fun for you. Just sit on those two chairs.”

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom looked at each other and shrugged. They both sat down and seconds later the chairs levitated off the ground with them. Sweetie Belle moved them around the room while letting them do slow spins and keeping the chairs straight to not let them fall off.

“Okay, this is kinda fun, but could you not spin them? It’s irritating to not see the ponies I talk to half the time.”

Sweetie Belle gave Apple Bloom an annoyed look and sighed. “Fine… just left, right, up and down then.”

“It’s kinda scary how much progress she made in just a few days…” thought Scootaloo, grasping down on the chair.

Apple Bloom pulled out a piece of paper from her saddlebag. She had made notes about their today’s topics and started with the most important one. The fourth crusader in Manehattan.

“I finished my letter for Babs and sent it per Pegasus Express Mail. I tried to tell her our new situation as clearly and detailed as possible, but we should have another talk about it once she’s here.”

“How do you think she’s gonna take it? Cutie Marks were important to her as well, and she got the worst of us with the blank flank comments in Manehattan.” said Sweetie Belle, while Scootaloo nodded in approval.

Apple Bloom rubbed her chin in thought. “Hard to say. We’ll know when she comes on the last day of the festival. Until then there’s nothing we can do about Babs. A pony we can do something about is Diamond Tiara though. We won at the hoofball game, but that won’t keep her quiet for long and Sweetie’s competition is somehow part of her plan too.”

That was one of Diamond Tiara’s few positive character traits. Regardless of how often they had beaten her in the past, she would always come back and try again as if it didn’t faze her. Apple Bloom wasn’t sure if she could do the same in that position.

Not that she would ever tell her that.

“What could she do? Bring a powerful unicorn to show Sweetie up?” asked Scootaloo, flapping her wings to move the levitating chair around which messed with Sweetie Belle’s concentration.

While Sweetie Belle glared at Scootaloo and got a sheepish look from the pegasus in return, Apple Bloom just sat there and thought about how Diamond Tiara did things. Her and Silver Spoon surely had something like that in mind, but there was always something else. Something they didn’t account for and had to solve on the fly. Diamond Tiara never played with all her cards shown and solving the hidden parts was always the most fun part.

Apple Bloom stopped her train of thought in surprise. “Wait a second… fun? Where did that came from?”

“Maybe...,” said Apple Bloom slowly to get the attention from her friends, “but we’ll have to wait and see. The competition is the day after tomorrow, so Sweetie Belle has some more time to train.”

She hastily put her notes away and jumped down from the levitating chair. “I think that’s all. See you tomorrow!”

“Wait what?” said Scootaloo in surprise, “We barely started and that list of yours is miles long. What about our new name for example?”

Apple Bloom stopped in the doorway. “I’m sorry, but I just remembered something important that I’ve got to do and It’s not like we’re selling merchandise. Why should we absolutely need a name?”

“Hey get back here! How should we call ourselves otherwise?” yelled Scootaloo after her, but she was already down the stairs.

All that Scootaloo heard was a faint yell from the street. “How about friends?”

Scootaloo watched the empty doorway for a moment, contemplating Apple Bloom’s words before shrugging with her shoulders.

“Guess that works for now. Not very catchy though. Sweetie Belle can you do that spinning thing again please?”

Outside Sugarcube Corner...

“I still think Pinkie’s crazy. Are you sure there was no permanent brain damage, Twilight?”

Twilight looked at Rainbow Dash with a deadpan expression before her gaze went to Applejack, who promptly gave Rainbow a poke in the ribs which made her yelp. Fluttershy winced at that, but Rarity just rolled her eyes.

“I recommend you refrain from such comments once we’re inside Rainbow. Pinkie could hear you.”

Rainbow Dash just nodded and Twilight smiled satisfied before knocking on the door.

It opened and in the doorway stood Mrs. Cake, giving them an icy stare. “Oh it’s you. I know that Pinkie invited you for a little meeting, but let me make myself clear when I say that I’ll throw you out personally if you behave like you did in the hospital. Are we clear on that?”

“Crystal clear. Right girls?” said Twilight, looking at her friends for help.

All she got as an answer was vague murmurs and Twilight nervously smiled at Mrs. Cake who raised an eyebrow. She sighed heavily and let Twilight and her friends in.

They haven’t had an opportunity to talk about this issue when Pinkie revealed her plan at the hospital, and Twilight had to admit that she was partly at fault for that. After Pinkie’s proclamation she had flipped her shit like everypony else, but throw in her out of control magic and things got disastrous.

Screams, crying foals, a dozen ponies tumbling around dodging magic sparks and a light show in a one patient hospital room were enough to let even the most patient pony snap.

Twilight shuddered as she remembered the moment when Pound Cake dropped from the bed. The fact that Pinkie instantly hid under it should’ve been indication enough, but at least Twilight knew now something for life.

An angry Mrs. Cake is the scariest thing ever.

She silently had handed her husband the two foals and gave Pound Cake a kiss on his bump, before Mr. Cake left the hospital room. Mrs. Cake didn’t want her children to see what she was about to do. When she was done with them they all cowered on the floor in fright. Even the doctor.

They pretty much fled the perimeter after that and Twilight hid herself in the library. She assumed that her friends had done similar things.

Mrs. Cake led the girls to Pinkie’s room and knocked. They expected that Pinkie would lay in the bed and rest, when suddenly the door flew open and all five of them got dragged in by a large swoop of a pink leg. Pinkie instantly started to shower them with words like a machine gun.

Pinkie Pie told them what she and Frank did in the dream world in great detail and their eyes went wide at the part with the wedding picture in the room dedicated to Luna. She continued with the other rooms they visited, but her friends were too busy digesting the part where Celestia loved her sister as a mare.

So busy in fact, that they didn’t question Pinkie for not going into more details with the room she visited alone.

“That fits with what Discord told Fluttershy, and the bits I overheard from the conversation of him with the princess. It just doesn’t seem possible…” said Twilight with a husky voice.

Rarity bit her lip.“This would be an explanation for her being…”

“Totally bonkers?” said Rainbow Dash dryly which got her some stares from Rarity, “What?”

“Very eloquent my dear, but yes totally bonkers. Love makes you do strange things.”

Truer words were never spoken from Rarity. She spoke out of experience, shuddering at the thought of her crush on Prince Blueblood and the obsession with a rock named Tom. Even now she found herself sometimes looking at bigger pebbles and zoning out.

“Poor princess,” said Fluttershy with a sad face, “feeling unrequited love for somepony is the worst.”

Fluttershy yelped when she got forcefully slapped on the shoulder by a happy Pinkie. “But that’s the good thing, Flutters. Luna loves her too.”

“What?!” screamed the rest of them and Pinkie continued with all the stares focused on her.

“I talked with Mrs. Cake this morning and she said that Luna likes a mare. Luna also said that most ponies wouldn’t approve of their relationship though.”

Rarity let out a high pitched squeal and tripped on the spot. “This would be without a doubt the juiciest and most scandalous secret of all time! Think about it, a forbidden love between two immortal beings of night and day, bonded by blood. This could easily be a masterpiece of fictional literature, but the fact that it’s real makes it all the better!”

Fluttershy had to agree, thinking about how she would integrate such a story in her library of novels in an instant.

“Technically something like this isn’t illegal,” said Twilight, rubbing her chin, “you can have a relationship with your sibling and even marry, but you must agree to never have foals which doesn’t matter for them, because they are both mares.”

Fluttershy and Rarity looked at each other in confusion. “Why do you know that, darling?”

“No reasons..., I just was a bit curious some time ago.”

“I don’t know guys, loving your sibling like that is kinda icky to me.” said Rainbow Dash, laughing out loudly and stretching out her hoof to Applejack to bump it, “Could you imagine something as ridiculous as being in love with your brother, Applejack?”

She waited for the hoofbump with a big smirk. Nothing came though.

“Applejack?”

They couldn’t see her face because of the pulled down cowboy hat and her looking to the ground, but she was without a doubt biting her lip. When she lifted her head, Applejack briefly glanced at Twilight before slowly bumping Rainbow’s hoof and answering.

“Ridiculous… right, Rainbow Dash!”

She looked away right after that and trotted to a bookshelf, suddenly very interested in random books. Rainbow Dash noticed the brief and understanding expression on Twilight’s face, wondering what this was all about. “Anyway… let’s say you’re right about them. Why should we care about that?”

“We should,” said Twilight, rubbing the bridge her nose, “because we owe it to her. Despite her recent behavior, she has done so much for us in the past!”

“According to my personal count and memories of our adventures, she owes us way more!” said Rainbow Dash, waving it off dismissively.

Twilight’s left eye twitched. “She made you a Wonderbolt! What more could you possibly want?”

And then Rainbow Dash did the thing Twilight hated most about her. The sickeningly thick self-adulation and boasting only the prismatic pegasus was capable of. “I admit that was pretty nice of her, but I’m sure I would’ve become a Wonderbolt myself with how awesome I am.”

Twilight knew that Rainbow Dash wasn’t really serious about it. Everyone knew that. It was like a verbal tick she got, and everypony just ignored it and went on most of the time. Rainbow Dash had a good heart and was a pony you could count on when it mattered most.

Twilight didn’t care about that at the moment though. Right now she was just royally pissed at her selfish and self-important friend. “Rainbow, what’s your element again? I can’t seem to remember, but seeing that you also don’t lately makes me feel a lot better about it.”

A huge gasp went through the room and Rainbow Dash was instantly just inches apart from Twilight’s face. “If you have to say something about me, tell it to my face!”

Twilight clicked with her tongue. “I should, but the multisyllable words might be too confusing for you to understand!”

“Are you calling me stupid?” said Rainbow Dash, pressing her forehead against Twilight’s.

“It seems to be working!”

They both stood there, their heads locked together and breathing heavily. Applejack took her hat off and looked Rarity in the eyes before getting closer to Rainbow Dash. Rarity understood and got also closer to Twilight, ready to go between the two if things got hairy. The seconds passed by with neither Twilight or Rainbow Dash saying a word.

The whole group, Rainbow Dash included, flinched when Twilight suddenly chuckled. “We’re kinda off lately, wouldn’t you agree?”

Rainbow Dash just nodded and sat down on her haunches, while the rest let out a sigh of relief.

“I blame Princess Sunbutt and her shenanigans for that. Every time we met her lately, she’s done something crazy to agitate us!” said Applejack and picked up her hat from the ground.

“One more reason to help them become all lovey dovey!”

“Why is that a reason Pinkie?” asked Applejack, still not sure what to think about helping the princess and waiting for the pink party pony to elaborate.

“Well it’s simple. if they’re occupied with loving each other and being a couple, the time to irritate you lessens dramatically. I’ve made a chart about with the exact numbers and scientific supported facts.”

Twilight’s eyes started to sparkle in anticipation. “Really?”

“No, not really, Twilight,” said Pinkie patting Twilight on the back with a pitying look, “and that you believed it tells me that you should go out more.”

Twilight grinded her teeth together in frustration. “What’s your plan Pinkie? How are we gonna do this?”

“We don’t have to do much because they already like each other. Just give them a push in the right direction and create the right atmosphere,” said Pinkie before she put her front leg around Fluttershy and smiled at her like a predator.

“Starting with a little double date.”

Author's Note

Proofread by Asop.

Off to write the next one. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Meet the Shys...

“The ridiculous proportions of this mansion makes me wonder if Princess Celestia was serious with the offer to make me a princess. What do you girls think?”

Applejack huffed in annoyance. “Well Rarity, I think you should stop standing around and help us a little. You barely did anything!”

Rarity gave Applejack a sour look, which the farm pony ignored, and continued to prepare the food in Fluttershy’s kitchen. They had stayed the whole night in Twilight’s library making plans for the double date with the two princesses, and they had gone together to Fluttershy’s house in the morning.

First they couldn’t figure out why Pinkie chose Fluttershy of all ponies to go on this double date, but it made sense once she revealed her intentions behind it. Pinkie reasoned that it would raise suspicion when they suddenly invited them for a double date.

They needed a plausible reason, and what could be a better one than inviting them as a thank you for Fluttershy’s new house? It would make sense that it’s only Fluttershy and her special somepony showing gratitude, which freed the rest of them to do recon.

They were all on board eventually, except Rainbow Dash. She had to leave in the morning for some paperwork at the Wonderbolt Academy. Twilight was kind of glad that she wasn’t here today. They had put aside their differences yesterday, but there was still some tension between them.

Eventually things would calm down, they always did, and Twilight hadn’t any reason to believe otherwise.

With poor Fluttershy’s timid nature in mind they settled for her new mansion as the location, and a simple dinner in the afternoon to not make it too complicated. Twilight figured that one of them would play the part of the fourth pony to make it a double date.

“Ok girls, it’s almost time. Remember that this dinner is only to gather intel on both of them and their relationship status. Nothing more and nothing less. Fluttershy with whom of us do you want to partner up?”

“I don’t think anyone of you is her type.” said a deep voice behind them.

Twilight and her friends spun around, gawping at a smirking Discord. The way he nonchalantly sat there at the table as if the world belonged to him reminded Twilight eerily at the look Celestia was sporting these days. The amused draconequus put a finger in the freshly made pie on the table and licked the cream from it.

His face distorted in disgust. “Pears? Who puts pears in a pie?”

“I know!” said Applejack stomping the ground, momentarily forgetting who she was talking to, “ I told them to use apples, but nobody listens to me!”

Now they all stared at the furious farm pony as if she had grown a second head. Applejack blushed and deflated slightly when she noticed that there were more important things than apples right now.

Not by much though.

“We really need to talk to her about this obsession of hers…” thought Twilight, before turning her full and undivided attention to Discord.

“Why are you here?”

“Uhm…” said Fluttershy to get her friends attention, “he’s my date.”

Twilight stared at Discord while his grin got more and more wide with every second. When Fluttershy had said that she would get a date on her own and none of them had to fill in, Twilight didn’t really think she would find one or ask Discord for that matter. And from the looks of the others, they didn’t either.

Fluttershy walked up to Discord and started a quiet conversation while the rest of them were busy with digesting this piece of information. He tried to get a second finger of pie, but she gave him a slap on the wrist and a stern look. The draconequus grumbled in irritation, his arms folded and pouting. She sighed and walked to a cupboard and took a covered up plate out of it.

Putting it on the table before him, she nuzzled Discord’s side and removed the cover to reveal a plate of cookies. His eyes sparkled and he started to munch down on them with glee. He loved Fluttershy’s cooking and would tell her so regularly. “I’m a master of magic, but nothing I can conjure compares to your baking prowess! I should’ve changed sides ages ago!”

A content smile appeared on Fluttershy’s face with a slight blush as she watched Discord eat. She liked getting compliments from Discord, knowing how rarely he gave them to anypony. Unnoticed by all, Pinkie’s eyes narrowed to slits and someone who looked closely would have noticed her jaw moving. She took a cookie from the plate and and scrutinized it intently, before putting it into her mane.

“Has the whole world gone insane?” thought Twilight, watching the exchange of pleasantries between Fluttershy and Discord.

The thought that made her the most furious though was that it made sense in a bothersome way. Discord was also living here and him taking part at the dinner wouldn’t be weird.

That didn’t mean Twilight had to like it.

“I can feel the love from here princess, might wanna take it down a notch before my head explodes,” said Discord, putting on a pair of sunglasses.

Twilight’s eyes narrowed. “I’m watching you, mister. You better not plan to do something nefarious.”

“Moi?” said Discord in mock hurt, “I wouldn’t dream of it. The wellbeing of dear Tia and Luna is a heartfelt desire of mine.”

She wasn’t buying it, but couldn’t do anything about it. Of course Discord didn’t do it out of the goodness of his heart. He had his own agenda on this day. Tia had caught him off guard with her forwardness a few days ago, but now he was ready for her new self.

Discord had kept himself up to date on her actions and was ready to start his second attempt. Sunbutt wasn’t acting like herself and he would get some answers today.

Spending time with Fluttershy was also a nice bonus.

Everyone in the kitchen turned their heads when they heard loud voices outside.

“...This place is huge! What happened to her old house, Tia?”

“...It kinda… sorta... got blown up”

A long silence ensued which caused Twilight and her friends to listen more closely. They almost jumped out of their skin when a loud whine was heard.

“...DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT WITH THOSE JUDGING EYES, LUNA! THE PINK ONE PULLED THE TRIGGER... SO I’M INNOCENT!”

Discord snickered. This day is gonna be fun.

They heard a knock on the door and Fluttershy went to open it with Discord right behind her, while the rest of them stayed in the kitchen. She took a deep breath and opened it to reveal Frank and Luna. The draconequus and the human-turned-princess instantly locked gazes. There was genuine surprise in Frank’s eyes and unhidden amusement in Discord’s.

Luna watched the two before she focused her attention on Fluttershy. “Hello Fluttershy. Thank you for inviting us for dinner.”

Discord and Frank still stared each other down, and Fluttershy noticed that none of them had blinked since they started. Worried about the success of the double date, she quickly tried to diffuse the situation.

“Oh, no reason to thank us. It’s only natural that you and your sister are the first guests in our house, which she so generously provided. Isn’t it Discord?”

“Yes, of course. We’re ever so grateful for your kindness,” said Discord, bowing deeply but without breaking eye contact with him.

Frank raised an eyebrow. “You’re welcome…”

They entered the doorway with Luna and Fluttershy conversing animatedly with each other about the mansion interior, what there’s gonna be for dinner and general stuff which Frank would categorize as girl stuff. Prepared for a long and painfully boring night, Frank’s and Discord’s eyes met again. Their expressions both went to confused once they saw that they had the same bored look before.

“The bond between men, annoyed about their women transcends dimensions and species” thought Frank, feeling better already because he had a fellow sufferer.

Fluttershy turned to both of them. “Dinner will be ready in a minute. Does anybody want something to drink?”

That was the signal for Discord to take action.

“I’ve heard you’ve got quite the acquired taste when it comes to alcohol, Tia. I acquired many assorted alcoholic drinks during my travels around the world. Are you interested in a little sample?”

Discord suddenly was blinded by the twinkle in Frank’s eyes.

“I take that as a yes”

“She tries to minimize her intake Discord,” said Luna in a dismissive tone.

“Don’t be a party pooper, Luna!” countered Discord, letting a large glass with amber liquid appear before Frank, “today is a cause for celebration and there’s nothing wrong with letting loose a bit.”

Luna rolled her eyes and Frank shrugged with his shoulders, taking a big swig out of the glas. It tasted like scotch with a sweet aftertaste. He smacked his lips and smiled. Discord responded with his own smile, but for totally different reasons. Today he would get to the bottom of things and nothing loosens a tongue better than alcohol.

The dinner went as normal as it could have with no major occurrences. They had a some kind of vegetarian gratin which tasted all right for Frank’s standard and had no hay in it to his great relief. Luna and Fluttershy talked the whole evening, playing catch up since they haven’t really talked since Nightmare Night.

That left Frank with Discord, who was creepily calm and collected. No shenanigans, no stupid comments and the most caring host you could hope for.

Especially with the generous refilling of his drink. So generous that Frank felt the buzz halfway through the afternoon. Nobody else on the table noticed though, with him sitting quietly and Discord doing it as inconspicuous as possible.

Twilight was meanwhile ready to throw a hissy fit in the kitchen. Fluttershy was supposed to engage the two of them in conversation, but instead left Celestia completely out of the loop and in the clutches of Discord. Contrary to the dinner guests, she had noticed the state that her mentor was in.

The door to the kitchen opened and Fluttershy entered, oblivious of the ire she had incurred on herself from Twilight. She faced her friends with a huge smile on her face, after putting the dirty dishes in the sink.

Applejack, Pinkie and Rarity all had friendly expressions, but Twilight looked really out of it. Unsure of what to do, she waited for Twilight to say something.

The wait wasn’t long. “Fluttershy what are you doing?”

“Having a double date with the princesses?” said Fluttershy, confused about where this was going.

Twilight decided to crank up the volume, mirroring her rising frustration. “So why did you decide to mess it up? The goal of today was to get information about them and gauge the level of their relationship. Instead you decide to play catch-up with Luna and leave Celestia to be filled up by that bloodhound Discord!”

Fluttershy didn’t like to be yelled at, especially if she didn’t do anything wrong from her perspective.

“But I thought…”

“But nothing!” roared Twilight and let it all out, “I know you don’t get much visitors out here in the boondocks, but try to concentrate on the task at hoof. Get your flank out there and do what we all agreed on idiot!”

The instant the words left her mouth, Twilight put a hoof on it with terror filled eyes. Fluttershy looked like she had been smacked in the face, wordlessly taking the pie from the table and walking out of the kitchen.

“Wow…just wow, Twilight…” said Pinkie slowly, “you definitely skipped some levels. Poor Fluttershy...”

Nobody in the kitchen said anything after that, staring at the door in awkward silence. Twilight was tempted to go after Fluttershy and abandon the whole plan, but she was stopped by a white hoof on her shoulder.

“Twilight, darling. I know you’re under a lot of stress and I’m willing to overlook your little outbreak because of that.”

She turned around to face Rarity who had a smile on her face. The words out of the fashionistas mouth didn’t match her cheery expression though.

“Nonetheless, I expect an apology later, and by Tartarus, if you talk like that to our sweet Fluttershy again, I’ll slap you so hard that you’ll change colors. Understood?”

Twilight only nodded.

“Wonderful darling.”

Frank downed his latest glass of hard liquor when Fluttershy came back from the kitchen. The smile on her face looked wooden and her voice was a bit husky. “I hope you have room for dessert. I’ve made pear pie.”

Luna eyed the illustrious piece of baked goodness with great interest. “That is unusual for a pie. Most of the time ponies stick to the classics, like apple or cherry.”

Fluttershy cut each of them a piece and they took it thankfully. “Yes, I would have made apple pie, but for some reason there weren’t any apples for sale this morning. Now that I think about it, I haven’t seen a single apple in town all day. That’s weird.”

Everyone at the table jerked when a sudden loud noise from the kitchen broke the quiet conversation, followed by the sound of something running very fast and the bang of a door getting closed. Frank saw a shadow passing outside the window, wearing a familiar stetson hat.

“What was that?” asked Luna looking at the kitchen door.

“Nothing!”, said Fluttershy nervously, “most likely Barry the bear again. He was here the whole morning, so just ignore it.”

Luna looked at her piece of pie, not thrilled of the prospect to eat something which was baked while animals ran around the kitchen.

Fluttershy noticed her uneasiness and tried to come up with an excuse. “Don’t worry about the hygiene, princess. Barry is… hairless and really clean.”

Discord slowly turned to her with wide eyes and eyebrows raised almost to the top of his head. Luna blinked a few times, and Frank had to bite his tongue to stop himself from laughing. Fluttershy was so bad at lying it almost hurt to listen.

“You have a hairless bear running around in your kitchen?” asked Luna, showing interest.

Meanwhile, Frank was losing his mind. “Why are you engaging on this lie? For Pete’s sake are you serious with this right now?!”

The meek pegasus nodded and took a sip from her drink to hide her face.

Luna shrugged with her shoulders. “Ok then…”

“WHAT?!” Frank and Discord screamed internally.

“Tia, why don’t you and Discord make yourself comfortable in the living room while I help Fluttershy with the dishes?”

The two looked at each other and shrugged. Frank got up from his seat with a little sway, feeling the alcohol a bit. He leaned on Discord, to not raise suspicion about his drunken state. Luna waited for Tia to offer her help and was prepared to argue against it. All she got though was the sound of a closing door, and she stood alone with Fluttershy in the dining room.

“She could’ve at least tried a little bit…” said Luna, before she turned around to Fluttershy and ripped the kitchen door open.

Twilight and her friends minus Applejack, stood there like deers caught in the headlights with an angry Luna staring them down.

Meanwhile, Frank and Discord had made themselves comfortable on the living room couch.

“...And then she shat all over the floor and I rolled around, laughing my ass off!”

Discord held his side from laughter. “I always knew that Sparklebutt had the talent. She should become a comedian!”

“I know right?!” said Frank, signaling Discord to fill both of their cups before they toasted to each other, “Let’s make a fan club. All hail Princess Doodoo!”

Frank took a sip from his cup and looked at the door to the dining room. “Maybe I should go in the kitchen and get her. What do you think?”

Discord did a spit take, showering Frank in alcoholic mist. “You know?”

“Oh please, they are so obvious that it hurts to watch,” said Frank, before he wiped the booze from his face and started to laugh again, “I’m curious what they came up with. Those girls are hilarious!”

Discord looked in the eyes of Frank and felt really weird. He would never admit it, but Celestia was one of the ponies which infuriated him the most in the past and was the most satisfying to mess with. The holier than thou attitude she was spotting all of time, this aura of impeccability drove Discord insane.

Now Discord stared into a face which he barely recognized. Not the expression of a motherly unfailing saint, but a drunk nutjob laughing on the couch and wiggling with her hooves. Discord cringed as Frank fell from the couch and landed face-first on the floor. Unmoving.

“I’m ok…” mumbled Frank into the carpet, not bothering to turn his head.

That was the signal for Discord to start stage two of his plan. Tia was now drunk enough to let something slip, but not too hammered so she still could form coherent sentences. Levitating the drunk alicorn on the couch, he got closer and looked Frank deep in the eyes.

“We are friends, aren’t we Tia?”

Frank burped loudly. “Sure we are, Diddy!”

“Discord.”

“Gesundheit.”

“... anyway, tell me something about yourself. We never got to know each other better.”

Frank narrowed his eyes to slits and went quiet. “Are you coming on to me, buttpirate?”

“No?” said Discord, recoiling from Frank and putting some distance between them.

Frank crawled slowly towards him like a cat as he purred. “Why? Am I not a pretty enough horsey for you? You’re no catch either Mr. Patchwork.”

There was that feeling of discomfort again. The mind of Discord went to a familiar place where he didn’t want to be right now, in a large bedroom and Fluttershy as one of the major actors.

“Wait a second, one of them? Who else could be… OH BOY!” thought Discord, quickly banishing his fantasies into depth of his twisted mind.

“And why am I the only one who’s drinking?” said Frank with outrage, “If you want to be my friend, don’t make me look like a lonely hobo and be my drinking buddy!”

Discord downed his glass and made a face, not used to the bitter taste. He had a really low tolerance for alcohol and planned to let only Celestia drink. That plan went out of the window once Frank noticed his apprehension and pulled the pressure on him even more.

The buzzed alicorn would only drink when Discord drank something and even cheered him on, hooting and hollering “chug, chug, chug”. The drinking lead that he had over Discord evened out pretty quickly. In a short while, he was more smashed than Frank.

“This pamby princess is drinking me under the table!” thought Discord blearily, trying to drink out of his empty glass.

He frowned and snapped with his fingers to refill it, but instead two penguins appeared in the living room and started tap dancing. Discord didn’t think it was that funny, to the contrary of Frank who found this simply hilarious. He stopped laughing when Discord told him that he couldn’t refill their glasses anymore.

Twilight and her friends were completely unaware of this and were facing the interrogation of a certain dark blue alicorn in the kitchen.

They had several contingency plans in form of made-up stories for this event, but each of them unfortunately used a different one for their part so it didn’t match very well.

Luna rubbed the back of her nose with both eyes closed. “According to your story, you would need five Twilights, four Pinkies, three libraries and two Ponyvilles in separate time zones for it to make any sense.”

Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, Luna opened her eyes. “Let’s try this again, but this time you tell me the truth.”

Twilight and her friends shared glances, until she finally plucked up the courage to address Luna directly.

“Luna, we know that you have romantic feelings for your sister.”

The annoyed expression on her face dropped instantly. Luna felt like someone had filled her stomach with ice water and she slowly backed away from the group. Nobody was supposed to know about this. She didn’t feel ready to come out with it or face a possible rejection from her sister.

“And we have reasons to believe that Celestia feels the same way. Because of that we—”

Twilight didn’t came further than that in her explanation, before she was violently tackled to the ground.

“What? How? Tell me!”, said Luna to the pinned down Twilight with all of her restraint thrown overboard, “You better not be talking nonsense!”

“Why not ask Celestia herself? The cat is out of the bag anyway!” said Pinkie as she opened the kitchen door and walked through.

Twilight and Luna instantly ran after her with Fluttershy and Rarity in pursuit. They managed to catch up to the pink party pony, right when she pushed the door to the living room open. The four of them were not able to stop themselves in time because of the slippery parquet floor and smashed into Pinkie, which caused them to tumble inside the living room in a bundle of limbs and heads.

“Where are they?” asked Pinkie, looking out under the groaning pile of ponies.

Pinkie was right with her observation. Frank and Discord weren’t in this room. The dancing penguins were the only evidence that someone had been here. They Ignored their squeaks and looked around frantically for any clue of their whereabouts.

Twilight’s eyes fell on a little note on the couch table:

Dear Princess Doodoo,

Ran out of booze.

Gone outside to get more.

Will come back whenever.

with best regards
Tia and Discord, founding members of the fan club for her holy Pottyness.

She read through it again and took an extra moment to appreciate the drawn doodle of her sitting on a toilet throne. Twilight was suddenly filled with a case of total dread. Two of the most powerful beings in existence were now strolling through the town. Unsupervised and most likely drunk out of their minds.

“These are the end times…”

“Don’t worry Twilight,” said Pinkie reassuringly, “I mean how much damage could they possibly… is the sky supposed to be pink? Wow it’s raining teddy bears!”

“...Get them! I don’t care how, but do it!”

Ponyville Park

Frank trotted through the lively masses who enjoyed another day of the festival. The festivities were well in the afternoon business and the absence of Pinkie as a planer seemingly didn’t cause any troubles. In search for booze they somehow had ended in the Ponyville Park, aimlessly walking around the green spaces and mingling with the park guests.

He did stick out like a sore thumb though, and the other park occupants instantly made way for him despite of the turmoil in the park. Frank blamed his status as royalty for that.

“I can’t hold on, stop wobbling so much…”

And the drunk draconequus slouching on his back like a wet washcloth, of course.

Frank was used to being drunk and still doing stuff, keeping at a functioning level if he wanted to. Discord had gotten steadily worse since their departure from Fluttershy’s house. He had tried several times to summon something to drink after they left, but every time something else happened.

Discord got frustrated after a while and stopped trying, going back to loafing around on Frank’s back.

His limbs and head flailed around with every step Frank made, giving the illusion that Discord didn’t have a single bone in his body. The serpent like neck he had now to look around didn’t help either.

“For Pete’s sake…” said Frank, focusing really hard before a white flash enveloped both them which originated from his horn.

The crowd made even more room for them, waiting for the light to fade out. Frank stood there as the spell was completed, wearing a saddle and matching headgear. It looked really flashy with lots of shiny buckles and ornate design patterns stitched into black leather.

He looked down on himself and frowned. A small wagon should have appeared which Frank wanted to use for pulling Discord around. The alcohol was still messing with his magic and he decided to not try again, settling for the pony ride solution.

Frank tried to formulate a coherent sentence through the bridle in his mouth, but had only semi-success in doing so. “Ish daet beddar, yu paensy?”

Another flash of light blinded him.

“Now it is!” said Discord, wearing a jockey outfit and taking the reigns.

It was inexplicable for him, how Discord could do the right spell now when he had failed a simpler one a dozen times before. Frank also noticed the large pink feather sticking out of his head.

“Shmardash…”

He was too drunk to care about how this would look like and decided to make the best out of it, strutting down the park path like a show horse. In fact, he made a point of swaying his hips around which caused more than one stallion in the close vicinity to spill his drink.

The society rules of equestria were a bit weird at times. A pony wearing a saddle in public wasn’t unusual or special in any way. But combine it with a leather bridle and a rider on top, and you have one of the kinkiest things a pony could think of.

Soon Frank noticed the lusty looks he was getting, but wasn’t offended by it.

Quite the opposite actually.

“You want something to ogle at?” thought Frank, spotting a stallion who actually drooled into his drink, “I give you something to ogle at!”

A song started playing in his head which by the rules of this world, soon transferred over to real music that could be heard by everyone.

What followed next would become a mind stimulation of many lonely stallions at night for weeks to come. He started with a slow downward dog pose which almost let Discord slip off. Dwelling in this position with his butt raised in the air, he fluidly spun it in circles for effect before transitioning into stretching like cat.

Moving slowly and sensually with a lot of hip sway, he stopped in front of a large metal flag pole. The captivated audience couldn’t figure out at first what he would do with it, but that rapidly changed once Frank started.

After he gave the pole a hard and long lick, Frank stood up on his hind legs and grabbed onto it while twirling around. He started his little pole dance after scanning the gathered crowd a last time with bedroom eyes.

One would think that a three-hundred pound pony with a rider on top, should have difficulties in performing stunts on a pole.

Frank would prove that thought wrong.

For his last girlfriend he’d taken lessons in pole dancing as a surprise for her and had gotten really good at it. In the end it didn’t help to salvage the mess which was his last relationship, but the skills Frank aquired never had left him and were surprisingly easy to apply even in this body.

Blame the unusual bendy limbs of those ponies.

He practically played that pole like an instrument with his body, sliding and grinding alongside it with gusto. The secret of a good pole dance was to convey your own enjoyment of what you are doing, and Frank had the time of his life right now.

You had to develop a feeling for when to speed up or slow down, which was a key instrument to emphasize a certain motion and attracting attention to the wanted body part.

The crowd was really getting into it once he hung upside down with his hind legs spread out and only holding on with his front legs. To the chagrin of many stallions and some mares in the crowd, he purposefully used his tail to cover up his private parts during the whole act.

He was drunk, not stupid.

Discord had fallen off halfway through the act with a look of awe on his face, watching the alicorn work the pole. He had never seen something like this before, getting light headed by the movement and the level of alcohol in his blood.

Frank launched himself from the pole with his wings unfolded and landed in a sitting position on the ground, doing an excessive hair flip with his prismatic mane. The great finish was to lean back slowly while crossing his hind legs in a sultry way, with wings spread to their maximum span.

He got roaring applause before the crowd dispersed and Frank noticed that many ponies were in a great hurry to get home as fast as possible. With and without their partners.

“Tia?”

“Hm?” said Frank to Discord, out of breath and still amused from the reaction of the crowd.

“You’re a pretty horsey…”

His vision was suddenly blocked by Discord’s head and Frank felt something warm, wet and wiggly inside his mouth. It took a moment until Frank realized what just had happened. This guy had stretched his neck like a snake again to french him.

Discord finished with a hearty squeeze of Frank’s flank, before he returned to laying on the ground. The draconequus was out like a light and slept his buzz off when Frank finally shook free of his mental numbness. He had a crooked smile on his face, but it didn’t reach to his eyes which were twitching like crazy. Enveloping the snoring Discord in his magic, Frank lifted him off the ground and laid him down a nearby park bench.

“It might get cold. I need something to cover him up,” thought Frank, still with the smile on his face.

He looked around the park to see if he could find something suitable. He did eventually, and everyone in the park heard the sound of something heavy ripped out of the ground, followed by a loud rumble and quaking earth.

“Daed wel du...” said Frank, looking at the huge uprooted tree that he had used to squash Discord under.

Satisfied with his work, he strolled away and tossed his horse tack. Only to stop at the closest trash bin to loudly empty his stomach into it.

All the while crying and cursing like a little girl until he was finished.

Frank walked out of the park and down the street with no clear goal in mind, spitting in disgust and wiping his tongue with a hoof to get the taste off. The little unwanted gesture of affection from Discord had shocked Frank into semi-soberness and made him shudder involuntarily.

He wanted to go back to Fluttershy and Luna, but wasn’t ready to face the consequences right now. Not to mention that he just had flattened one of the hosts with a tree.

Playing for time, he spotted two little fillies who were pretty high on his to-do list. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, both with their saddlebags full of toys and candy from the festival. Frank vaguely remembered that the festival was specifically scheduled for kids today. The stalls were deliberately modified to be more interesting to kids, and had more things they would want, like the candy and toys in those saddlebags.

“Would explain the fact that there were only adults in the park during my little show. Lucky me!” thought Frank, happy to have dodged this bullet.

Unknown to him there was third filly, hidden even from Frank’s sight. That filly was Apple Bloom, who silently followed Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara. She had tailed them the whole day to get a clue of their further plans, but came out empty up till now. The two of them didn’t do anything nefarious or suspicious and just enjoyed the festival like normal fillies would with their friends. A thought that was weird to Apple Bloom.

Silver Spoon noticed Frank first, quickly poking Diamond Tiara in the side and pointing frantically at him. Her gaze followed the pointing hoof and hardened when she recognized Frank. She didn’t move or show any kind of reaction, polar opposite to her panicking friend.

Frank thought about what to do for a second and came to a conclusion. He marched straight up to the two fillies and gifted them with a winning smile. Might as well end this right here.

“Hello, you two. Are you having fun?”

Diamond Tiara snorted snidely. “What do you want?”

Silver Spoon stared at her friend and was horrified of how rude that sounded. You couldn’t speak to royalty like that.

Frank didn’t care. “I see. Cutting out the chit chat and going straight to the point… Ok, that’s fine.”

The smile vanished from his face.

“You seem smart enough to know that I helped Apple Bloom and her friends,” said Frank, walking in circles around them, “so I assume you’re also smart enough to know that this support of mine won’t stop anytime soon and that you know who I am and what I am capable of.”

He summoned two cones of ice cream, slightly happy that it worked the first time he tried. “I’m extending an olive branch here, and give both of you the chance to give up and settle this peacefully. You can’t win kid.”

Silver Spoon took the ice cream, but Diamond Tiara barely looked at it before she smacked the cone to the ground.

“I don’t give a rat’s ass about who you are…”

“Diamond!”

She ignored her friends outcry and stepped closer, poking Frank in the knee. “I don’t care how many important friends she has or how slim the chances are for me. I’m not backing down. Not from her, you or anypony else! Bring it, fatty!”

The street became suddenly silent. Every pony in the vicinity stopped doing what they did before and watched in awe.

“Oh my god, Diamond! Aren’t you afraid of anything?” thought Applebloom, watching the defiant filly stare down Frank.

She was afraid though. It took all of her willpower to not just run away right then and there. Silver Spoon was violently shaking beside her. Diamond Tiara simultaneously felt bad for dragging her best friend into this and really good because she stood by her side despite how dangerous it was.

Frank lifted one of his front legs and reached out for her. The sudden movement made Diamond Tiara flinch and she closed her eyes, expecting to get hit. The little filly waited for the without a doubt painful experience, but only felt a slight weight on her head.

“I changed my mind, I like you kid,” said Frank, ruffling her mane and tilting the tiara she wore slightly off center, “you’ve got balls, unlike most of those hoof-lickers.”

And without warning he turned around and walked away, leaving the two baffled fillies on the street.

Sweet Apple Acres

Bare Trees.

As far as the eye could see, bare trees without a single apple on the whole farm. Applejack was living her own personal nightmare, running frantically through the orchard. Out of breath she collapsed on the ground with her heartbeat ringing in the ears.

Applejack had known instantly that something was foul when she heard from Fluttershy that there were no apples today in Ponyville. Even when they didn’t sell on their stall in town, a huge part of their customers also came directly to the farm for buying apples.

Not seeing a single apple in the apple-loving town of Ponyville would mean that there were no means to buy them. Applejack had run all the way from Fluttershy and ditched their stupid plan, hoping against hope that she was wrong but sadly it wasn’t.

“Gone. Everything is gone!” thought Applejack, almost moved to tears before her eyes went wide.

“Bloomberg Junior!”

Picking herself up, she hobbled through the valley of trees to check on her little baby. Bloomberg Junior was the apple of her eye, grown out of the seeds from Bloomberg which Braeburn sent her from Appleloosa. She loved this tree like a son and if whoever did this had hurt him, then there would be hell to pay.

Bursting into the clearing, she could see him on his special place right in the middle of the orchard. Applejack planted him to be surrounded by the senior trees to protect him from outside harm.

“Junior, I’m here! Mommy’s here!” said Applejack, checking the young tree for any obvious damage or abuse, “everything’s gonna be ok my little…”

She stopped, putting a hoof on her mouth in shock. It had been his first year of bearing fruits and Applejack had been so proud of him. Now he was bare like all the others, stripped from some stranger. From her experience she could tell that those apple had been picked and not bucked. Applejack’s thoughts were filled with images of sleazy looking stallions, mercilessly ripping off the apples from her little baby.

She hugged the little tree and nuzzled the bark. “Your first time, and I wasn’t there to see you through. I’m so sorry…”

“Ahem”

Applejack froze mid-hug, but recovered quickly and pretended to check the bark of damage.

Big Mac rolled with his eyes, but didn’t say anything. He knew the quirks of his little sister and had learned in the past to ignore it. Her obsession with apples was extreme, even for a member of the Apple family but harmless most of the time and kinda cute.

Like right now, standing there with a scrunched up face and looking embarrassed for being caught. “So what is going on here Big Mac?”

He turned around and pointed his head in the direction of the barn. Applejack followed him and walked with her brother through the orchard to start their usual ping-pong like conversations.

“What happened to all the apples?”

“Sold”

“All of it? Who would do that?” said Applejack, before her eyes went wide, “for how much?”

“One Bit”

“One bit for everything? Has Granny gone senile?”

Big Mac gave Applejack an angry look for the comment about Granny, before he shook his head and Applejack tried again.

“One bit per basket?”

He shook his head a second time and kept walking in silence towards the barn, which made her frustration grow.

“What? Come on Big Mac, the silent stallion schtick get’s dull sometimes!”

Big Mac sighed heavily. “Per apple, sis. They bought it for one bit per apple.”

She stopped dead in her tracks and watched back to the fields. Applejack let his statement sink in, but wasn’t quite capable of comprehending it.

“They also bought every apple product we made out of it, like the cider or the pastries. At this point you wouldn’t be able to find even a single apple seed in the whole orchard. I did some rough estimates of how much it is, but nothing concrete yet.”

Applejack stomped the ground angrily. “Spare me your fancy-schmancy mathematics. Give it to me straight!”

Big Mac sighed and kicked the barn door open with force and shielded his eyes from the sudden brightness. He forgot to warn Applejack though and she was temporarily blinded. Once her sight returned to normal, she didn’t believe it did. The sight before her couldn’t be real.

“Big Mac, is that a mountain of bits in our barn or have I gone insane?”

“Eyup, congrats sis, we’re officially rich now.”

She said nothing and Big Macintosh watched her walk to the giant pile of gold coins which almost reached the ceiling. Picking up a hoofful, Applejack let them slowly trickle back onto the floor and listened to the metallic jingle they produced.

“Who and how, bro?”

“Minotaurs from minos,” answered Big Macintosh, “said that they had a poor harvest and needed it desperately to fight a famine. The story almost broke Granny’s heart to the point where she almost barely wanted any money for it.”

“So why is there so much of it?”

Big Mac snorted. “Those minotaurs had gone on about honour and responsibility until Granny gave up and took their money.”

Applejack frowned and bit her lip. This whole thing stunk to high heaven and she didn’t believe one bit of it for even a second. Only Celestia had the necessary funds and connections to do something like this so fast, but she couldn’t fathom the reason why the princess would have done that.

Princess Celestia really must be batshit crazy.

She had gone out of her way to make them accept her money and made sure that they couldn’t give it back. Their apples were gone and until the next harvest it would stay that way. Not that they needed to grow crops anymore with all the bits they got.

Applejack shook her head violently to get this thought out of her head. She would never quit. Apples were her life and joy, but she couldn’t stop herself from daydreaming about her future life.

“No more groveling before snooty Canterlot snobs for crumbs.”

She opened two saddlebags who were lying around and started to shovel bits into them. “No more sleepless nights because of unpaid bills.”

“We can renovate the house and build a new barn,” she said, looking around the place and getting more and more cheery, “Granny can afford her dream of a luxury cruise to Galopoli, in addition to a new hip and new teeth.”

“Something else to eat other than apples for a change!”, said Big Macintosh happily, before he saw the angry glare from his sister, “Just saying. A pear once in a while doesn’t hurt.”

The glare intensified, but Applejack couldn’t hide a little smirk. “Not funny, Big Mac.”

She was always the dependable one, the pony who was down to earth, the most calm and collected. The boring farmer and the party pooper, ruining the “fun” of others by having some actual morals. Applejack always worked hard to get what she wanted and never stepped out of line.

Applejack was no purple nerd princess with ocd, or a self-centered and self-proclaimed flying daredevil. She didn’t have outbreaks of randomness like Pinkie, or sudden mood swings as Fluttershy. Not even a little case of being overdramatic, something Rarity had improved to perfection over the years.

She is, and always has been plain and old Applejack who never has never done anything for herself, tagging along for the ride.

And now she had enough.

Buck it. Why does she even bother? Nobody else seems to care about anything, so why should she? They were rich now and didn’t owe anything to anyone. It was time to think about herself more. Starting today Applejack would do whatever the hell she wanted to whenever she wanted to.

No matter what it was.

“Where are you going?” asked Big Macintosh as she passed him with the two saddlebags filled to the brim with bits.

“‘Las Pegasus. Oh, I almost forgot the most important part,” said Applejack, turning around and positioning herself in front of her brother.

He looked at her expectantly, watching her fiddle around nervously before she took off her hat and put it on his head in a way so he couldn’t see anymore. Something warm pressed against his lips, long enough so he was sure he didn’t just imagine it when Applejack addressed him again.

“For good luck, my little red delicious.”

Big Macintosh shoved the hat from his eyes and watched the smiling Applejack skipping happily towards town, ready to catch the next train and whistling a happy tune.

“Eyuup...”

Author's Note

Proofread by Asop

But(t) wait! There's more...

Rainbow Dash couldn’t believe her luck as she hopped almost like Pinkie on the the premise of Wonderbolt Headquarters.

She had come this morning to deliver the scroll from Princess Celestia and found Spitfire’s office empty. The reason for that was the monthly Wonderbolt general assembly in the main stadium, where Rainbow Dash was headed right now. To make things even better, Rainbow Dash had found out that this one was the last of their business year.

That meant that many members of the Wonderbolts would be present to discuss future plans and review the past year. Rainbow’s first day as Wonderbolt couldn’t have started any better than this in her eyes and she was right on time to join the last group of laggards entering the stadium.

Rainbow Dash had never before seen so many pegasi in one place. Every Wonderbolt branch of Equestria must have been here right now. The sea of bodies dragged her down the aisle and right to the empty front row. She reluctantly sat down, not sure if she was allowed to take one of the front seats. The ponies in the second row didn’t seem to mind though, ignoring her sheepish looks.

She caught the attention of a certain pony though.

“Lightning Dust? Hey, are you listening?”

The turquoise pegasus ignored the question as she focused only on the prismatic newcomer who was taking a seat all the way down in the first row. She barely remembered the name of the red pegasus beside her, most likely something with Cloud though if her cutie mark was any indication. After some time, she had settled for calling her Cloudy, and the dumb mare thought it was a cute nickname.

Lightning Dust forgot most of the ponies she met and simply felt that they weren’t worth her time, but the name of this particular rainbow maned pegasus was eternalised into her mind like a burning mark.

Rainbow Dash. The mare who almost cost Lightning Dust her place in the Wonderbolts. A pony who had been keeping up with her, even with a hurt wing as she found out later. Someone who since then appeared regularly in her dreams at night.

In good and bad ways.

And she wasn’t wearing a uniform or any kind of identification on her. How could Rainbow Dash not be part of the Wonderbolts already? Lightning Dust had to start lower on the career ladder than she wanted, but she got drafted weeks ago nonetheless .

Her train of thought was interrupted by movement on the big stage. The attention of the whole stadium soon turned to it, when Spitfire came forth through the curtain with an irritated look on her face.

“Order… I request order… Sit the buck down!”

She skimmed through some documents and sighed. “Ok, I’ll go straight to the most important parts so that you can all stop pretending to be interested as soon as possible.”

Some ponies in the crowd feigned to be insulted, but Spitfire would have none of it.

“Yeah, sure whatever. First, I would like to discuss our flight choreography for this year’s show in Manehattan,” said Spitfire as she noticed the first ponies already zoning out, “As you know, we incorporated a certain maneuver in the second act that… yes?”

That last part put the crowd out of their stupor. What was going on? There wasn’t a Q and A section at this part of the meeting, everyone knew that. Nevertheless, there was a rainbow maned mare in the first row, where nobody in their right mind would sit, with a raised hoof and making noises like a filly in elementary school.

“I’ve got some ideas for the choreography I’d like to share with everyone.”

“You do?” said Spitfire, too stunned to say anything else.

Rainbow took the silence as an invitation to talk and stood up.

She started speaking with lots of enthusiasm and ponies who listened, like Lightning Dust or Spitfire could tell that this mare knew what she was talking about. Rainbow Dash had found the flaws in a flight show that she seen just once as a spectator and in addition had a solution for most of them without disrupting the flow of the show as a whole. Her terminology was quite poor, almost laughably so, but she had grasped the essential concept of the subject matter and had broken it down to it’s bare bones.

That required some serious talent on her part. Not everyone recognized it though.

“Who is this clown?” said a grey pegasus stallion in the second row to his neighbour before addressing Rainbow Dash directly, “Where’s your employee batch lady?”

Rainbow Dash went rigid from being interrupted. “I don’t have one…”

The stallion did an exaggerated sigh and turned to the crowd.

“We really should think about tightening the security in this place,” he said, loud enough for everybody to hear it. “You know the rules guys! Who let the groupie in?”

Nobody said a word, looking around for someone to take the blame. Of course, nobody did, and the stallion’s tone got preachy.

“Very mature guys. We all now this profession comes with certain ‘benefits’, and she definitely is a looker, but keep your ‘fun time’ off the clock!”

The eyes of Cloudy almost bulged out her head. “Is he implying what I think he’s implying?”

“Yep,” said Lightning Dust, with a large grin on her face, but restraining her laughter.

The rest of the assembled crowd didn’t.

It echoed through the stadium, loud, obnoxious, and at a deafening volume to Rainbow’s ears. She hated the sound of mean spirited laughter. Most ponies couldn’t even tell the difference without looking in the face of the one who’s laughing, but hear it for the biggest part of your younger life and it becomes as obvious as night and day.

Spitfire didn’t laugh, looking like she had bit into a lemon.

“No hard feelings sugarbun!” said the stallion between huffs, “If your client isn’t brave enough, maybe I can show you a good time?”

It was times like these that Rainbow Dash took a deep breath, and remembered what her grandfather used to say:

“Dashie, my sweet little princess, when someone tries to rile you up and belittle you, stay calm and be the bigger mare...”

She decked the grey stallion in the face with the brunt of an oncoming train.

“...unless he calls you a hooker. If he calls you a hooker, punt the bucker into next tuesday.”

Good old grandpa Dash. Celestia rest his soul.

The “bucker” was now lying on the ground and writhing in agony. “My face! Who the hell are you?”

“Screw you! That’s who I am!” said Rainbow Dash, mere inches away from his bloody nose and showering the stallion with angry spittle before suddenly pointing behind him, “Stop stuffing your goddamn face, Soarin! Seriously, learn some restraint you fricking pig!”

The whole audience turned to the stallion in question, and Soarin stopped midbite, longingly gazing at his slice of pie before putting it down with an offended huff.

She silently walked up the stage and stopped beside Spitfire to hand her the scroll from Frank. The captain eyed the royal seal with a frown and unfurled the paper to read it.

Rainbow wasn’t waiting for her to finish it and turned to the crowd to address them. “You want to know who I am? Ok, here goes.”

“Oh, this is gonna be good…” thought Lightning Dust, leaning back in her seat as Rainbow Dash started her speech.

“I’m the mare who trained every waking moment to be a Wonderbolt since she was three years old, who pulled off a Sonic Rainboom at the age of five, and who could do it as naturally as breathing by sixteen. I’m the one who jumped through every arbitrary hoop and roadblock you plotholes threw at me, breaking pretty much every flight record known to ponykind.”

The crowd looked at Spitfire for confirmation of Rainbow’s claims, who shortly looked up from the scroll and nodded curtly.

“I helped save Equestria from certain doom as an Element of Harmony more than three times already, and I’m not even in my twenties. Some would call me boastful or cocky for my attitude, but with all due respect I can say that you won’t find a mare who is more justified in doing so.”

She scanned the crowd for familiar faces and continued. “Not many of the assembled flyers here would even be a challenge for me, and I’m far from peaking.”

Lightning Dust didn’t miss that Rainbow Dash made eye contact with her at the words “Not many”.

“So you ask me who I am? I’m Rainbow ‘Danger’ Dash, the best flyer under Celestia’s sun, and I’m sick and tired of my abilities being second guessed by you wannabe dodos.”

A lot of ponies stood up at that part with angry looks on their faces, but Rainbow Dash wasn’t impressed.

“The letter your captain is reading right now empowers me to become any position in the Wonderbolts I choose,” said Rainbow Dash, overemphasizing her next words while stroking her chin, “and you know what? I suddenly feel like being boss. Spitfire, be a dear and write that in the empty space.”

Spitfire rubbed her eyes in disbelief. “Celestia help us… this is legit!”

“Effective immediately, I’m running this show and anyone who has problem with that can either challenge me for my position or get the hell out of my face!”

There was hectic murmur throughout the stadium, but nobody said or did anything, too shocked from the sudden turn of events. Feeling smug and without a care in the world, Rainbow Dash jumped off the stage and strutted to the exit with her head held high.

At the door she stopped for a moment before exiting. “Oh, and I advise you to enjoy this day, because for many of you, it will be the last good one.”

And just like that, she was gone and left a stunned crowd. A stunned crowd, and one very happy pegasus mare.

“Can you believe this Rainbow gal, Lightning?” said Cloudy, ”Acting like she owns the place!”

Lightning Dust licked her lips. “A mare to my liking. This is going to be fun…”

Canterlot Castle

“Maybe, giving him space wasn’t my brightest idea.”

Trusty stood in the chambers of Prince Blueblood, searching for the young stallion. He should be here according to the castle staff, but she couldn’t see anyone in the pompous suite. Looking around, she found a newfound perspective on luxury though.

Rich ponies weren’t much different from normal ones. They did and used the same things, but only an upscaled version of it. Blueblood’s bed was the best example for this claim. A normal pony would be content with a nice bed which was big enough for themself and maybe one partner.

Blueblood, on the other end, went off the rails and slept in a bed which was big enough for twenty stallions of his size.

Or ten Celestias and two and a half Lunas, according to her quick calculations.

She touched the blanket and shuddered from the softness. Trusty couldn’t recall a time where she had laid down on a bed this comfortable to relax.

It looked really inviting…

She closed the doors and locked them before doing a running jump onto the king sized bed, landing with a heavy thud, and immediately sinking into the fluffy sheets. Trusty heard a muffled grunt from under the bed and her eyes went wide.

“You gotta be kidding me…”

“Your Highness?” she said on her back, staring at the ceiling in silent hope that she had just imagined it.

The bed did a sudden shake, confirming Trusty’s hunch of the whereabouts of Prince Blueblood. She hastily untangled herself out of the sheets and landed on her hooves.

“Prince Blueblood, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to…”

Her babbling was cut short by a strained whisper. “Don’t bother me peasant… your prince needs… he requires…uhh… the words won’t come!”

She blinked a few times before her face softened and she inched closer to the bed.

“...Shh, it’s ok. Focus and take your time.”

The heavy breathing from under the bed got calmer. Trusty thought, now that she found him, they finally could get some work done, so she pulled out the sweetest girly voice she could muster.

It never failed.

“You wanna come out now?”

“...No, not really.”

Except this time.

Her patience ran dangerously thin at this point. She had sympathy for the stallion, but Blueblood would have to do his duties eventually.

“Why?” she asked with her regular more scratchy voice.

“I feel safe here.”

That statement was adorable and sad to her at the same time. She lowered herself on the ground to look under the bed, only to get a full view of his flank. Blushing slightly, Trusty hastily got up and repeated the same motion on the other side.

There he was, looking with big eyes like a puppy and melting the last bit of seriousness from her face. Blueblood bit the inside of his cheeks and avoided eye contact. Nobody was supposed to see him like this, but this mare seemed nice enough and aunty trusted her.

Seeing his discomfort, Trusty tried a different approach. “Really? I like feeling safe. Can I join you?”

“Ok…”

Without further stalling, Trusty crawled under the large bed. Right then she noticed how well equipped Blueblood’s little sanctuary was down here. He had a large blanket with a jar of cookies and a lot of bottled drinks. There was also a stack of comics and thin books, paired with a small lamp which was currently turned off.

All of those items were neatly arranged with not a single speck of dust around.

“It’s pretty nice and comfy, your Highness.”

“I spend a lot of time here,” said Blueblood with a small smile, “mostly when…”

He stopped talking with an absentminded look on his face and rubbed his temple. Shaking his head, Blueblood focused his eyes at Trusty again and continued.

“... things happen. Hey, you must be pretty smart to figure out my hiding place. Only aunty ever found me here. Why don’t you ask her to make you a princess?”

Trusty chuckled. “I’m afraid that’s not how it works.”

“Why not? Twilight Sparkle is smart and she is a princess now,” said Blueblood and pointed at her face, “You’re pretty enough to be a princess.”

That caught her off guard. She wasn’t really confident in her looks, thinking of herself as a rather dull mare with her brown coat and strawy mane. Would this have come from one of the stallions she knew, Trusty would have waved it off as cheesy one liner. The way he said it though, sounded as innocent as it can get.

He really just seemed genuinely curious.

Before she could thank him, Blueblood frowned and continued. “But when I think about it, you’re right. I’m not as smart as Twilight Sparkle and they call me a prince regardless.”

This time, Trusty noticed something that she missed earlier due to his unintentional compliment. The way he said the name of Princess Sparkle sounded off.

“What do you think of her?”

“Who? Twilight Sparkle?” said Blueblood, before some scenes from his past flashed in his memory.

As a young colt outside Canterlot Gardens with his first, last, and former friend:
“Cady, cady! Look what I got!...Why can’t we play anymore?... What’s foalsitting?”

His first time, meeting her:
“Aunty, I did it! I finally finished my first... who’s this? Lessons? ….Can I join? ...Not for me? Oh… ok…”

After the Summer Sun Celebration last year:
“There you are aunty!... I’m so glad that you’re ok and made it day again… You have a sister? Is she nice?...”

The Grand Galloping Gala:
“Why does aunty spend all her time with this mare? And why doesn’t this posh lady leave me alone?”

He got angrier every second until he almost frothed at the mouth from being upset.

A circumstance that she wanted to remedy a fast as possible. “Uhmm...how about a nice cup of ice cream?”

“Huh?”

Trusty silently cursed at herself. She had panicked and said the first thing that came to her mind.

“Yeah… ice cream! When I feel down, nothing helps me more than a big tub of chocolate ice cream. Should we get some?”

The way he looked at her made Trusty feel really stupid and half tempted to apologize on the spot for her suggestion, but his mood brightened instantly with a large grin.

“Let’s get some money!”

He bolted from under the bed and ran out of the room, only to reappear seconds later, pulling the poor mare along by her tail with his magic.

Trusty learned two things that day: The floors in Canterlot Castle were pristine, and they used apple scented soap to do it. Both things she found out after being dragged along on her back for four floors and three staircases while screaming at the top of her lungs for Blueblood to stop.

Sadly for her, he was too excited to notice until she already felt pretty banged up and they had reached their destination.

The treasury.

The lonely guard in front of the door raised an eyebrow at the scene before him. Prince Blueblood with the biggest grin he’d ever seen on the stallion, stood there with a disheveled looking unicorn mare lying by his hooves. The poor thing toppled over three time before she managed to get shakily off the ground.

Blueblood tiptoed closer to the guard and showed him a slip of paper. He had been here a lot of times in the last few days, but still insisted on showing the letter from Princess Celestia that allowed him entrance every goddamn time. The guard rolled with his eyes and waved the two of them through.

Still a bit woozy from the physical abuse, Trusty looked around the large room and blinked to get her eyes to focus again.

“Wow, look how lucky we are! There is still enough for at least two premium ice cream bowls!“

Trusty didn’t know what he was talking about.

“Where’s the rest of the money?” she said, looking at the measly pile on the floor before them.

“That is all the money. We have to ask aunty where the next treasury is. Are you ok? You look pretty pale.”

Trusty wasn’t ok. She wasn’t feeling even close to ok right now. There wasn’t a second treasury room. There wasn’t even something like a treasure closet to her knowledge. Every single bit of Equestria’s national wealth should be here in this empty space.

Empty space!

“What topping do you want on your ice cream? I’m a gummy worm pony myself.”

“Might as well be rat poison if the public gets wind of this! Ok, Trusty calm down… you can do this. The most important part is damage control now!”

This time, it was her who dragged the prince along. Not as violently though. She shuddered at the thought of what Celestia would do to her if Blueblood got so much as a scratch on him.

“Soldier, attention!” Trusty bellowed, causing the conditioned guard to go rigid and salute, “By royal decree of her highness, nobody is allowed to enter this room until further notice.”

“Which one?”

“The one you like best.”

“Why would someone go in anyway?” said Blueblood, tinkling with the bag of bits he had filled, “There’s nothing left in the—”

The rest of the sentence was interrupted by a brown hoof in his mouth. “Do you know where you can get the best ice cream, your Highness?”

“Where?” asked Blueblood with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Ponyville. Pack your things, we’re visiting your aunty.”

Airspace over Ponyville

“This is the first time I wouldn’t mind that she gets so much attention.” said Luna to herself, flying over the houses and streets of Ponyville.

One hour had already passed since they started searching, and up to this point she had come up empty.

Tia’s figure would have stood out in the crowd like a sore thumb, and Luna couldn’t see a trace of her anywhere or unusual behaviour of the masses below. What Luna did notice though, was the great amount of attention she was getting from the festival guests. But Luna had neither the time nor the desire to mingle with her subjects right now. Her mind was totally focused on finding one pony in particular.

Her sister, who was obviously nowhere in the town.

She ignored the excited shouts and waving from the crowd, leaving the town northward in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.

“Sister, where are you?” thought Luna, scanning the ground for any sign of Tia.

Her gaze stopped on a large white dot with a prismatic mane near the town lake. Feeling new vigor, she increased her speed and bolted towards the lake. As she got closer, Luna could confirm that it really was her sister sitting near the water.

Frank didn’t look at her as she landed gracefully behind him with a sour expression. He didn’t flinch when she came closer with loud stomps of her hooves to get his attention. There was still no reaction, even when she stood directly beside him.

He was deep in thought with a serene look on his face, watching the sun’s reflection on the water surface. Luna looked at it herself and remembered that it was time to lower the sun. Her horn lit up and she sunk the large celestial body behind the horizon, raising the moon in it’s stead.

The sudden shift in brightness put Frank out of his daydreaming and he looked up at the starry sky. “How did you find me?”

“You’re hard to miss, Tia,” said Luna, pointing a hoof at his prismatic mane.

Frank didn’t see where she pointed her hoof and interpreted it differently as he looked at his flank. “Yeah, my butt is pretty big.”

That comment caused Luna to chuckle. Frank looked at her for the first time since they had started talking with a grin on his face. You could tell that he had a few drinks from his red cheeks and the glaze over his eyes, but Frank didn’t behave strangely otherwise.

“We also found Discord,” said Luna, scanning his face for a change of expression.

His grin got a bit wider, but not much else changed. Discord was the reason that only Luna had kept searching for him.

The rest had stayed with the draconequus.

Ponyville Park…

“Oh you poor thing! Don’t worry, Fluttershy is here to make everything better. Twilight stop laughing this instant!”

The yellow pegasus was in full on nurse mode with Pinkie and Rarity as her helpers. Twilight wasn’t capable of helping right now, because the young princess had been rolling on the ground laughing ever since they had found Discord under that tree. It had started slowly with erratic twitches in the corners of her mouth, but she simply lost it when Fluttershy had to scrape him off the ground like a pancake.

She involuntary stopped when her body suddenly went rigid and a heavy presence filled the air. Twilight glanced briefly at the yellow pegasus and got the full brunt of “The Stare”, intensified by the fact that Fluttershy was still angry at her from earlier.

Not eager to throw more oil in the fire, Twilight slowly retreated with a guilty grin to find Luna and help her searching for Celestia.

A few blocks away, she couldn’t hold it any longer and erupted into bellowing laughter again.

Meanwhile, Discord sat there with a huge bump on his head and Fluttershy patting his paw. Pinkie and Rarity went for Fluttershy’s house again to get the first aid kit.

“Be strong. They’re going to be back in a second and then I can make you feel better.” said Fluttershy with a soothing voice.

She stopped patting his paw when he mumbled something unintelligible to her.

“What was that? Try to speak up, I can’t hear you sweetie.”

He focused his derped eyes on Fluttershy and managed to say a single coherent sentence.

“...Tia has a really nice butt...”

Discord instantly wished he didn’t.

“...WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, MISTER?!”

Back at the lake…

“At first, we thought that you had squashed him for good, Tia. I’ve never seen Twilight so happy!”

Frank snorted at Luna’s comment. “Twilight can be pretty twisted when she wants to be.”

He turned his attention back to the sky and couldn’t help but feeling awed. On earth you could call yourself lucky if you see a few stars in populated areas. Equestria was the polar opposite with a firmament so full of shining objects that it looked almost comical.

“The night sky is beautiful today.”

“Thank you, I do my best,” said Luna as she looked away with a slight blush, happy that her work was appreciated.

Frank paused for a second, only just now making the connection between her and the night sky. Luna turned back to Frank as she heard the sound a loud smack and saw the mother of all facehoofs. He had driven that hoof with enough force to leave an imprint on his face.

Deciding to ignore this strange behavior, she asked him a question. “Why didn’t you come back?”

Luna saw Frank squirm around a bit before he answered. “Feeling a bit guilty about how the dinner went, I guess. Sorry for ruining it by the way.”

“At least you didn’t puke on me this time.”

Frank cringed. “I’m sorry regardless. I would imagine you had other things planned for today than looking for my big flank.”

To provide some visual aid, he wiggled with his flank to Luna’s amusement.

“No harm done. It was actually pretty funny and nobody got hurt...”

Frank raised an eyebrow.

“...That we care about, I mean.”

He blinked a few times and Luna did her best scrunch face.

“And speaking of big flank… I heard a bit about your little show in the park. Didn’t know you were part-timing as a showmare. Care to give me a private performance some time?”

“I could show you more than that,” said Frank wiggling his eyebrows, “if you know what I mean?”

From the dumbfounded expression on her face, it seemed that she did, and Frank gave himself a imaginary slap on the wrist.

“Forget what I said, Luna. I should know by now that you don’t want me to talk like that. It won’t happen again.”

Frank sighed loudly. They were back to square one again. He would construct big plans to woe Luna with the perfect atmosphere and blunder it with his pervy attitude, making her upset enough for him to lose confidence on the last possible moment.

“You don’t have to stop…”

He spun his head around so fast, that Luna feared it would snap her sister’s neck.

“That one isn’t my fault. You made this awkward, not me,” thought Frank.

Neither of them had the guts to say anything, both drowning in the deafening silence. There it was again, that feeling of total dread in Luna’s chest. A single sentence out of line, and she felt that all the previous progress in their relationship was almost shattered.

She realised that what they had was so fragile and elusive that one wrong step now could ruin everything.

That’s when Luna snapped. Royal Canterlot Voice Style.

“UAAAAH! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!”

Frank fell over from Luna’s sudden outburst and watched in awe as she vented with the fury of a natural disaster. He dodged some ricochet magic beams as she blindly blasted the trees and boulders around her.

“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? MAKING ME FEEL LIKE THAT?”

One of the blasts made a crater in the earth, and Frank dove into it, remembering what people say about mortar strikes. They never hit the same place twice, and Frank hoped to god that held true for rage induced magic rampages as well.

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO, AND I’M SCARED BECAUSE OF THAT! SCARED SHITLESS, TIA!”

She breathed heavily and groaned from exhaustion before letting herself sink to the ground.

“Why is this so hard?” she sobbed, more to herself than Frank, “I shouldn’t feel that way about my sister and I know It’s sick and wrong, but I can’t help it!”

Meanwhile, Frank had climbed out of his makeshift trench and carefully inched closer. Luna looked up at the exact moment he reached her. They shared a long glance, trying to read each other and afraid of messing up.

Luna spoke first, almost in a whisper. “Maybe, I’m wrong. Maybe, I misinterpreted your teasing as more than it is and ruined our fragile bond in the progress, but I can’t take the uncertainty anymore!”

The more she talked, the happier Frank got as her words finally sunk in. All this time he had been brooding, agonizing over ways to make Luna like him in a romantic way and to take the goddamn sibling hurdle. To make her interested in him was the most he thought possible in this short amount of time.

And Luna had made all his plans and worries obsolete with a little confession and one heck of a mental meltdown. She was now the unsure one who worried about his answer. The situation was so absurd that it made him chuckle.

Not the smartest thing to do in front of a emotionally distraught mare.

“What’s so damn funny? Do I amuse you? Do you enjoy messing with me?”

Frank had thousands of things going through his head that he wanted to say. Things that would assure Luna of his affection for her. Things to make her stop crying, something he wanted more than anything in the world right now. Honeyed words that he had practised in front of the mirror with confidence, who now wouldn’t want to leave his mouth when it counted.

“Why are you so silent? Say something! Please, tell me if this is all was just a sick joke.”

Each of the bitter tears she dropped right now felt like a sledgehammer to his stomach.

“That’s it, isn’t it? Ha ha, lets laugh about stupid Luna. The sick freak who is attracted to her own—”

Her tirade was interrupted by a pair of lips, pressing themselves on her own. Luna’s eyes went wide and she could see that Frank had closed his in silent enjoyment.

She replied to the kiss with her own pressure and closed eyes.

Luna opened her mouth when she felt Frank’s tongue on her lips, allowing it to enter and explore her own. The motions were awkward and stiff at first, grounded in the insecurity of both of them. That reluctance soon melted away, making room for a feeling of total bliss, and the need to get more.

All the pent up frustration from the previous days exploded as they practically pounced at each other like caged animals. Frank wanted her, and Luna wanted him. It was that simple. No doubts, no second guessing, just desire for each other. They were completely lost in the feeling of their dancing tongues and the taste on their lips.

Frank leaned backwards without breaking their kiss and was soon on his back with Luna lying on top of him.

Luna moaned loudly as Frank bit her lip slightly, careful not to draw blood. She retaliated by biting his tongue affectionately and producing a wet sound. They ended their little make out session after several more minutes had gone by and their tongues had started aching, creating a small string of saliva as their faces parted.

Out of breath and panting, both locked gazes with glossy eyes and red cheeks.

“You taste like garbage,” said Luna with a coy smile, snuggling against Frank’s chest and nuzzling his neck.

Frank and Luna remained like this in comfortable silence, enjoying the closeness and warmth of each other.

Despite the wonderfulness of this moment and the experience they just shared, Luna couldn’t shake off the nagging feeling in the back of her head. What would come next? What exactly are they now? What could they be?

She slowly slid down from him and instantly felt cold. Frank frowned and rolled over to lay down beside her.

“Where do we go from here, Tia?”

Frank looked into Luna’s eyes, seeing the doubt and fear. He reassuringly unfolded his left wing to use it as a blanket for Luna and to pull her closer.

She had never felt so safe and secure before.

“Wherever we want, Luna.”

Author's Note

Edited and proofread by Asop

Sunbutt for Summerslam...

“Wipe that smirk of your face Sparklebutt.”

“I tried, Discord, but for some reason I’m unusually happy today.”

Twilight and Discord sat in a large booth on stilts in front of microphones, overlooking the field and grandstands where the hoofball game was earlier this week. Thousands had once again gathered in the stadium to watch the next big event in the festival schedule.

Discord had a large bandage on his head and sported two black and swollen eyes. Twilight couldn’t hide her snicker every time she glanced over to look at his grumpy face.

The sight alone was worth it for her to comply with Celestia’s request to Co-commentate the event this evening with Discord, although both of them had no idea what this competition was about. Most likely something about magical prowess, if the massive ring made of stone was anything to go by.

The draconequus wouldn’t have come if he hadn’t already agreed to it at an earlier point in time. Fluttershy wouldn’t like it if he broke a promise and he wasn’t eager to get on her bad side.

Not after last night.

Speaking of her, Discord could see Fluttershy sitting on of the grand stand on the left of his booth. Rarity, Pinkie and Luna were also there, but to his nervousness no Celestia in sight.

A purple hoof poked him in the side. “Looking for somepony?”

“Shut up.”

Fluttershy watched Discord and Twilight bicker from her seat with a pout. “Those two seem to be pretty close.”

“Seems like it.” replied Pinkie with unusual serious expression.

The two mares shared knowing glances and a feeling of understanding bloomed between them. Pinkie and Fluttershy had forged a silent agreement some time ago, when it came to the draconequus. They had agreed to play fair and not to use dirty tricks, but that’s where the niceness ended. Both had achieved victories over the other in the past and had started to enjoy their little friendly feud.

Recent events had put a damper on that. Fluttershy seemed in the more favourable position right now with her kindness and shared living space in the mansion, but Pinkie wasn’t giving up yet and appealed at his fun-loving side as often as possible. Although they used completely different strategies and despite their differences, over one thing they were completely united.

A third player would not be tolerated.

“I can’t believe how much they changed the hoofball field for this event.” said Rarity looking around.

Ponies could now sit all around the field with perfect view on the center where the ring was. It was pretty plain in design, just an arena made of solid stone blocks to build a sqare.

Pinkie sighed loudly. “Tell me about it. It was a logistic nightmare, to get the additional grandstands built in time. I still don’t get what that giant stone thing is good for, the princess only said that it´s a classic.”

Fluttershy yelped in fright when all of a sudden a huge basket appeared between her and Luna in a flash of golden light. Luna wordlessly opened the huge basket and took a look at its contents.

A lot of cold drinks and sandwiches shaped like half-moons.

Pinkie hopped around the basket with glee. “Oh, that looks yummy!”

There was a little card lying on top with a smiling sun on it. Luna took one of the sandwiches with her magic and inspected the little snack closer. Those little treats were pretty elaborate for simple sandwiches and showed quite a bit of skill. The pony who created them made sure that the filling looked colorful and appetizing and had intricate patterns in them. And somehow, the bread halves had Luna’s cutie mark branded into them.

Rarity, Pinkie and Fluttershy looked over Luna’s shoulder as she unfolded the card to read it:

Something special for my special somepony.

Have fun at the show!

- Tia

“Aww, that’s so sweet!” cooed Rarity with Fluttershy and Pinkie nodding in agreement.

Luna sighed and frowned at the basket.

It was a wonderful gesture, thoughtful and filled with fondness for her, but she couldn’t enjoy it fully. This basket served just as a confirmation to something she came to realize today.

Frank is a very doting boyfriend.

On the airship, earlier this morning...

She got her first hint for that right after waking up. Or when she was woken up to be exact.

A soft nuzzle on Luna’s nose brought her out of dreamland and she slowly opened both eyes to look at the perpetrator. The smiling face of Frank.

“Oh good, you’re awake! I’ll be right back!” said Frank, giving her a small peck on the lips and quickly leaving the blushing Luna in her room. Those little gestures of affection were still a bit odd to her, despite their intimate moment yesterday.

He came back with a huge tablet floating behind him. Before Luna could rub the sleep out of her eyes to take a look at it, she smelled the appetizing fragrance which made her mouth water.

Fresh coffee, juice, pancakes with syrup, scrambled eggs with bacon (to her guilty satisfaction), a bowl with fruits, a basket of rolls and muffins, several smaller bowls that were covered up and a silver platter with salmon tidbits.

“Breakfast in bed?”

Frank glanced at one of her hind legs poking out under sheets and grabbed it gently.

“What are you doing?”

He kept silent, caressing along her leg in thought. His own hooves were still an enigma to him sometimes for their change in properties. When he was walking and stomping on things with them, they were as solid as the ground he was standing on. But now, he could feel the soft texture on Luna’s coat and the strong muscles beneath.

And despite this strength, it felt delicate like a flower in his grasp. “You look tired, Luna. Let me give you a hoof-massage.”

Luna didn’t think, that he was serious and chuckled.

“Of course I look tired. I just woke up, there’s no need to… hmmm!” said Luna, before she melted into her pillow when Frank started to work his magic hooves on the leg of the princess.

His princess.

“Since when can hooves massage that good?”

The covers from one of the smaller bowls lifted with a golden glow. “Have some of the chocolate covered strawberries.”

Luna opened her mouth slightly and the little treat floated inside and touched her tongue.

“Oooh, that’s so good!”

Frank watched her satisfied expression with joy.

“You like that, don’t you?”

She purred into her pillow and nodded.

A low rumble came from Frank’s stomach and his hooves slipped for a second, before he returned to massaging her hind leg. It was enough to bring Luna out of her trance and make her take a good look at him. Frank seemed happy, but she noticed the dark circles around his eyes.

All of the dishes on the tablet were freshly made, and some of them like the strawberries or the salmon had to be eaten almost immediately after.

“Who made this? We came home late last night.”

Frank shrugged. “I didn’t sleep, so I had some time on my hooves to whip out something myself.”

“You stayed up all night to make this?” said Luna, now fully awake, “Tia, you must be hungover, tired and hungry!”

He couldn’t deny that he was, but didn’t feel like it would affect him much. Being an immortal alicorn had it’s perks. First he had planned to just conjure the food and be done with it, only to notice that nothing of it tasted right and ending up doing it himself.

“Hey, for what reason does magic exist?” said Frank, while a little spark came from his horn for visual aid, “a little zap from this baby and I feel fresh like a spring breeze.”

Luna was concerned. Magic like that doesn’t let the fatigue and negative conditions disappear, it merely pushed the time to deal with them to a later date. They both had used these kind of magic in the past to fill in for each other, but had to rest pretty much immediately after.

She put a hoof on his to stop him. “How long have you been doing this?”

Frank tapped his chin and had to think for a longer time than she was comfortable with. The notion that Tia was pushing herself for her sake among others didn’t sit well on Luna’s conscience.

“Since the last time you were in my dreams?”

“TIA!” yelled Luna, feeling a giant stone build in her stomach, “That was almost four days ago! You haven’t slept for that long? Not to mention the amount of alcohol you’ve consumed! The moment the spell wears off, it will hit you like a freight train!”

Luna couldn’t tell if this information affected Frank at all, because his expression didn’t change.

“Good thing that I never stopped using it then, am I right?” said Frank finally with a smile, levitating another strawberry out of the bowl, “I will rest and eat something later, this is all for you. You deserve it.”

“WOULD YOU STOP THAT?”

“Yes, dear!” said Frank, and got back to massaging her left hind leg.

She pushed his hoof away. “And stop that too!”

Startled by the sudden movement, Frank lifted both of his front legs in the air with panic rising in his chest.

He swallowed hard before talking. “‘You don’t like it?”

Frank’s mind was racing at that point in desperate effort, trying find out why she was suddenly so upset with him. He’d put so much work in this gesture, to make sure that everything was perfect. Had he done something wrong? Was something not satisfactory enough?

“I love it, but that’s not the issue here!” she said, “get your flank on the mattress and enjoy this breakfast with me right this instant!“

Not sure where this was going, Frank reluctantly climbed on the bed beside her. Luna fed him a strawberry with her magic and he started chewing, while she peeled Frank a banana.

“You like bananas, right?”

He looked at the yellow fruit and for a reason that Luna didn’t know, started grinning.

“After that you go to sleep until the competition and take it easy today, are we clear?”

Frank looked at her and nodded, making the big bags under his eyes even more evident from their close distance to each other.

“What are you doing to yourself, Tia?”

Present time, back at the stadium...

The rest of them had already helped themselves to the food and beverages in the basket, while Luna still stared at the moon sandwich in her magic grasp with a sour expression. Tia had laid down in her bed as promised, and Luna had only left when she had been sure that her sister was fast asleep.

The fancy picnic basket told Luna that Tia couldn’t have rested for long after that.

“I really have to talk to her about this.”

Rarity watched the moody princess with a feeling of envy and annoyance. She would have killed for a stallion who did something like that for her, and yet Luna made a face like it was raining on her birthday.

“Some ponies don’t know how good—” thought Rarity before she saw something in the crowd which caused her to pause, “Is that? No it can’t be. Oh god it is!”

On the opposite grand stand and across the field sat a pony she was all too familiar with.

Prince Blueblood.

She had conflicted feelings about this stallion.

Rarity had met Blueblood many times after the gala in events in canterlot. She had kept her distance from him on these occasions and strangely enough had never been bothered by him again. No spiteful remarks or insults, despite the many opportunities that had arisen. It was as if she didn’t exist to him.

At the time, she just had been glad to be left alone, but never could fully shake off her curiosity about what had caused his shift in behaviour.

He was sitting with a mare to his left in deep conversation, well she was talking at him while he sat there with folded front legs to be exact. A bookworm type, brown unicorn with straw blonde mane in a bun. She didn’t look like much, but Rarity could see the hidden potential in those curves with her experienced eye.

Rarity was curious, if that were the kind of mares he was into, as she looked down on herself.

“There’s Sweetie Belle!” said Pinkie, a few inches from Rarity’s ear, making her lose that train of thought.

And indeed there she was, entering the stadium with the other participants. She was the only kid in a large group of adult unicorn stallions and mares. Not that it mattered to her in any way while she was quaking in her boots from stage fright. They could have all been three-headed pink cows, and Sweetie Belle couldn’t have felt more uncomfortable.

Her friends hadn’t been able to come at the last minute, which downed her mood somewhat already. Apple Bloom was accompanying her brother and granny to a spontaneous meeting with a local bank for whatever reason, and Scootaloo had said she got visitors at the orphanage.

She should be angry about this, but she knew that she didn’t have any right to be. They were doing things that are important to them as Sweetie Belle had done when she skipped the hoofball game.

“You’re Sweetie Belle?”

She turned her head to the source of the voice that sounded like stones rubbing together and saw a matching figure to it.

The stallion staring at her was a fricking mountain of flesh and muscle! He looked like a unicorn version of Big Macintosh, down to the same color patterns and manecut. She could have been fooled, if not for the horn, the cutie mark that looked like an exploding stone, and the mean look on his face.

“Yeah?”

His eyes turned to slits. “You don’t look like much.”

“I’m sorry?”

Sweetie Belle watched the big stallion trot to the grand stand and saw to her horror, that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon sat right there in the first row. He started to talk with those two while pointing sporadically at Sweetie Belle. Diamond Tiara seemed to get angry from that, screaming at the stallion before throwing him a heavy looking bag against the head.

He grumpily returned shortly after to Sweetie Belle and his face softened a bit. “Sorry kiddo, it’s nothing personal.”

“It’s ok, Mr?”

“Crusher.”

“Of course it is…” thought Sweetie Belle with a deadpan look.

Twilight’s voice out of the speakers got their attention. “We’re almost ready to start the event folks! The only one’s missing is the…HOLY COW WHAT IS THIS?!”

Right above their heads in the night sky appeared a glowing dot that turned bigger and bigger, until they could recognize it as a ball of fire with the size of a small house heading directly for them.

Everyone stared up and panicked at the large fireball approaching at an insane speed.

“It’s gonna hit the stadium!”

“Save the children!”

“Go for the exits!”

“Where’s that music coming from?”

The flaming comet slowed down a few moments before impacting on the ring in a large explosion. All floodlights turned off at the same time, shrouding the whole stadium in darkness.

“GOOD EVENING EQUESTRIA! ARE YOU READY TO BE ENTERTAINED?”

The spotlights turned back on, focusing on the ring.

“THEN YOU SHALL SEE. LET THERE BE LIGHT!”

Frank had arrived in the stadium.

There he stood in the middle of the ring with an outfit that immediately caused a stir in the crowd. Frank wore a skintight muscle shirt in yellow and red boxers with matching red boots.These clothes matched the red bandana, the red rimmed sunglasses and the large feather boa around his neck in yellow and red.

To top off the ensemble, he’d decided to sport the manliest blonde handlebar mustache imaginable.

“What a garish outfit!” said Rarity with a frown, “red and yellow are so not her colors!”

Pinkie bounced on her seat. “I think it looks cool! Dashie would like those sunglasses, but I don’t get the reason behind the mustache?”

Striking a pose, Frank unfurled his right wing where he’d painted “TIA” on the inside with big flaming letters, and then his left wing where it said “MANIA!” with equally flaming letters.

Large fireworks erupted in the whole stadium and illuminated the night sky. Roaring dragons, phoenixes, lions and tigers made of fire in every color of the rainbow soared over the audience, spewing smaller versions of themselves every time they opened their mouth.

“Holy shit! Where do I get one of those?”

“It’s magic Pinkie,” said Rarity, “and intricate one at that! Look at this magnitude! Simply marvelous, isn’t it Fluttershy?”

“Those animals are really pretty.”

Luna was unmoved from the spectacle. “Is that your understanding of taking it easy, Tia?”

Frank took off with a huge gust of wind and flew over the audience. He stopped periodically to deal out hoof-bumps and hoofshakes to the ecstatic crowd on the grand stands. Some of them had cameras, and Frank took the time to take photos with as many as he could.

He landed punctual back in the ring at the moment when the music stopped to strike another pose with a last large magical firework explosion like the sun, brightening the dark sky to almost daylight levels. The following cheers of the crowd were deafening, and Frank was forced to wait for them to calm down before continuing.

“You all know me, so I won’t bore you with my usual introduction!”

Another large spotlight illuminated the gathered participants on the side of the ring.

“These are the brave souls who dared to dream and risk all for fame and glory!”

One older stallion with puppets spoke up. “Uhm, I thought this is like a talent show?”

“Far from it my dear friend,” said Frank, teleporting besides the old stallion and putting a leg around his shoulder, “Every single one of you has the chance to immortalize themselves in history, but be warned about one thing, this path is paved with pain and punishment!”

He reappeared back in the ring. “The rules are simple. Remove me from the ring and remain inside to earn a splendor rivaling a stained glass window at Canterlot Castle.”

Above his head appeared a large belt, encrusted with diamonds and other gems. The front had a large gold plate with an alicorn spreading it’s wings on it.

“This could be yours, but if you fail, ask yourself one simple question.”

With a mighty stomp of his hooves, the stadium started to quake.

“WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THIS CRAZY PRINCESS RUNS RAMPANT ON YOU, BROTHER?!”

“STEP UP CHALLENGERS, AND FACE THE MIGHT OF SUNBUTT THE DESTROYER IN THE ULTIMATE COMPETITION!”

“TIAMANIA IS BORN AND SHALL LIVE FOREVER!”

Yet again, cheers from the crowd, a very happy Frank and a group of very confused mares.

Fluttershy was the first to speak. “That sounds pretty violent. Maybe Sweetie shouldn’t… Rarity?”

“My poor little baby sister!”

“Hey Luna, why don’t you try it?”

Luna was looking at Fluttershy at that moment, which meant that only she could see Luna’s face when Pinkie had asked that question. It couldn’t be a very nice expression, judging from Fluttershy’s sudden pale face.

“I’ll never fight my sister again…”

Pinkie blinked twice before she realized what kind of landmine she just stepped on.

“Oh, right… awkwaaard…”

Meanwhile, a blonde unicorn stallion had the time of his life.

“This is so awesome! Look at it Trusty, aunty is so cool!”

Trusty just nodded and appreciated that he had finally stopped complaining, which Blueblood had done non-stop during their whole trip to ponyville and walk through the town. He may not be the raging jerk that everyone thought he was, but he could still be a spoiled brat sometimes. Now their goal was in reach at long last with both princesses in the same building.

After the show they could finally talk to those two.

Her former plan had been to talk to the princesses as soon as possible, but postponed it to the end of the competition after reading the festival schedule. Trusty didn’t believe she would be able to talk to Princess Celestia earlier than that and felt reassured, looking at her outfit and demeanor.

“She plays the role of a showmare rather well.”

“Oh god, I hope she isn’t drunk again.”

“Role? Like I do? But everyone loves her!” Blueblood said surprised.

She didn’t know what to say to that and shrugged, missing the thoughtful look in his eyes.

“When do I get my ice cream?”

Frank stood there in the middle of the ring while all this was going on, and was very satisfied with himself. This would do the trick in his opinion. Nobody in their right mind would challenge him after an entrance like that, and Sweetie Belle would save face.

Dressing up as one of his favourite wrestling icons was a nice bonus too.

Everybody wins.. Now all that was left to do, is to start the replacement event, and to lay it on thick for the finale.

“SADLY BUT UNDERSTANDABLY THERE SEEMS TO BE NO ONE WILLING TO…”

“Hey!”

The barely audible squeak caused Frank to look down to the little filly at his hooves. Sweetie Belle had climbed on the stage unseen by everyone, and was now staring at Frank with a determined look on her face.

“I’m still here!”

“Ok, plan B.” thought Frank, “Play along for a little bit, then levitate her outside the ring and call it a day.”

“Did you understand the rules, Sweetie Belle? The goal is to get me out of the ring through any means possible.”

She narrowed her eyes to slits and nodded.

“Ok, then. All that is left to do is tell Twilight to announce the start—”

Frank didn’t get any further in his explanation as something smashed him in the face with colossal force. His body was flung backwards and skidded across the ring, before stopping and lying motionless on the ground with a smoking head.

The crowd was shocked beyond belief and had fallen completely silent. One chaotic individual in the commentator booth though, couldn’t be more amused about this development.

“Ha, right in the kisser!”

Twilight ignored the rude comment from Discord and turned her microphone on.

“According to my quick calculations, that hit had a force of fourteen-point-twelve megamana!”

Nobody reacted.

“...That’s like a cannonball shot at point blank range.”

The crowd reacted this time with loud murmur throughout the stadium.

“Uneducated mouthbreathers…” grumbled Twilight, only to be remembered by a little tap from Discord that the microphone was still on and the whole stadium had turned to her booth with angry glares.

“... buck.”

Frank was busy with maintaining consciousness in the meantime and not ruining the ring with is own blood collecting in his mouth. He stumbled on his hooves and shook of the ringing in his ears.

“That... was a nice shot Sweetie... Belle, but please wait until we have properly started.”

“Ok, princess.”

“AHH THAT HURT SO BAD! MY FACE!” thought Frank, desperately trying to hold his smile without showing his busted teeth.

“Let the match begin!”

This time Frank saw it coming and sidestepped the attack with one quick motion. He couldn’t help but notice the gouge from the blast on the arena floor, which to Frank’s knowledge was still made of solid stone.

“I didn’t have much time to prepare, so I just focused on one type of spell,” said Sweetie Belle apologetically between blasts, “I hope that’s not too bad?”

“Stop being so adorable and humble while you’re trying to kill me!”

Frank dodged the next few dozen blasts with everything he had. Flying, teleporting, running and even rolling around on the floor. The little filly soon changed from actual blasts to throwing large objects around like nearby booths and broken off parts from the arena.

“This isn’t happening…THROW HER OUT!”

He tried to grab her in his magic, but Sweetie Belle started glowing and flung like a rubber ball out of his reach.

“She’s levitating herself to dodge the magic of the princess!” said Twilight’s voice through the speakers, “I’ve never seen self-levitation this precise!”

After dodging a particularly close blast by rolling, Frank lost sight of her and turned frantically on the spot to find her. A deep hum above his head made him look up. There she was levitating in the sky with a massive ball of light around her horn that was two times bigger than herself.

He had no time to dodge it, so Frank closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable.

“Uff!”

Frank opened one eye to see why the pain wasn’t coming, and saw the teary-eyed filly sitting on her haunches in the dirt outside of the arena. Sweetie Belle had put so much energy in her last blast that it had propelled herself out of the ring from the recoil.

He smelled something burning and noticed the large hole in his mane. Sending a prayer on every known deity for that miss, he jumped on his hooves and sat down beside the distraught filly.

“Great effort, young one!”

Sweetie Belle started wailing bitterly. “I’m a failure!”

The two of them sat on a field surrounded by craters and debris, caused by the little filly alone. Frank hadn’t fired a single shot during their encounter.

“Are you kidding? You could be my next student!”

The crowd gasped in shock. A new student would be big news, when the last one was anything to go by. Who looked a bit disgruntled at the moment behind her microphone.

“Oh, grow up Twilight.” thought Frank as he saw her pouting in the commentator booth.

Sweetie Belle had stopped crying, but still wasn’t looking very happy. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better. I barely did anything and you look as fresh as ever.”

Frank signaled the filly to get closer and showed Sweetie Belle his broken teeth behind his hoof for only her to see.

“Woah! Did I do that? Cool!” said Sweetie Belle, before regaining her composure, “I mean, I’m sorry.”

He concentrated hard and fixed his teeth with a flash of light. Conjuring a mirror to look at the satisfying results, Frank waved it off.

“Don’t worry about it, but be careful in the future. Not everyone is as resilient as me. Now, get on stage and take a bow. The crowd is waiting.”

Eager to fulfill Frank’s request, Sweetie Belle levitated herself onto the stage under the watchful gaze of the silent crowd. She swallowed hard and did a bow as told. The grand stands practically exploded in excitement, cheering, clapping and stomping applause to the confused filly.

It seemed to Frank like nobody of the other participants was eager to be the next in line. Even Crusher turned around to the grand stand and threw the bag of bits back to Diamond Tiara.

“Here, take your money back. I’m not suicidal!”

Diamond Tiara watched as the large stallion she had hired, walked out of the arena and into the night. He was supposed to beat Sweetie Belle and humiliate her in the process.

Instead, she was a fricking celebrity now!

“I’m so sorry, Silver,” said Diamond Tiara with a big lump in her throat.

Silver Spoon empathized with her friend and gave her a smile. There was nothing they could do about this. Destiny seemed to be against them in a major way, to the point it was simply ridiculous.

“It’s ok. We’ll get them next time. No need to apologize.”

“Damn right you don’t,” said a deep male voice behind them.

Both fillies turned around to look at Diamond’s father, who stood there with a big smile.

“Daddy?”

“You’re really my daughter through and through, Diamond. Bringing me and my partners to this competition might made us more money than we ever dreamed of!”

“You were supposed to come alone…”

“They were simply awestruck by the concept. Can you imagine what ponies would pay to see something like this show regularly? And think of the sponsorship deals, once we got some famous ponies. You really have a nose for opportunity like your dear father.”

“I’m not, stop saying that…”

“We think of Manehattan as venue for our first show and are gathering the funds right this moment to make this happen in the future.”

“Great…”

“Speaking of funds, could you try to get on the good side of the youngest daughter from the Apple family? You know, become her friend?”

Silver Spoon’s eyes went wide. How could he ask for something like that from her? She glanced at Diamond Tiara to see her reaction.

Not a single muscle moved on her face.

“My contacts say that the Apples got their hooves on a ridiculous amount of money and are now arguably the richest family in equestria.”

Diamond Tiara thought that she heard something shatter and looked around for the origin, but stopped once she realized it had come from her own mind.

“Diamond, dear?”

She ignored the words of her father and exited the stadium through an aisle between two grandstands. Once outside, she leaned against a wall for support. With her forehead pressed against the cold stone, Diamond Tiara tried desperately to calm down. A clink from the top of her head brought her out of it. The tiara she was wearing had scratched along the hard surface.

Diamond Tiara took it off and looked at it, checking the material for visible scratches. The headwear wasn’t damaged in any way, sparkling and shining like on the day she got it. She saw her reflection in the gemstone on top, distorted and stretched from the round surface in all directions.

She jerked and dropped the tiara as if had burned her, smashing the delicate jewelry to pieces with a swift stomp and scattering the pieces all over the floor.

Diamond Tiara then left the stadium behind, not looking back once.

Inside the stadium, Frank had started posing again for the excited crowd. Then they went suddenly quiet, staring at him with their mouths wide open. Confused about what’s wrong, Frank checked himself to see if something was out of order.

“I am next, Tia.”

Frank went rigid from the voice that had spoken behind him. He didn’t turn around, looking at the commentator booth to find Twilight alone in there with wide eyes.

What could only mean one thing, and would explain the reaction of the audience.

“You said everyone could participate, didn’t you?”

“Yes… I said that.” croaked Frank, still not turning around.

Discord cackled in glee. “Wonderful!”

At this moment, Frank realized the fatal flaw in his little show. He’d given Discord the perfect opportunity to beat him up. Nobody would fault Discord for injuring him in a exhibition match. The ass kicking that would follow now, was his own making.

Without warning, Frank turned around and started firing away. While Sweetie Belle had blasts like cannonballs, Frank’s came with the speed of a machine gun.

“Those blasts she throws around are insane in strength and frequency, but what else would you expect from our princess? What mental discipline!”

“DAKKA! DAKKA! DAKKA!”

Luna was mortified. “Tia hasn’t rested at all, and despite that she is putting so much effort into this?”

She closed her eyes and listened to the noise from the surrounding crowd:

“Get him princess!”

“You can do it!”

“Sunbutt! Sunbutt! Sunbutt!”

“Is it for them?” she thought doubtful, “Do they love you for that reason?”

Frank stopped after a minute barrage of non-stop magic blasts and fell exhausted on his haunches. His head felt like it was on fire with a great urge to empty is his stomach from sickness. He wanted to go home and sleep so badly, it hurt to stay awake.

An unscathed Discord stood there in the middle as the smoke cleared, filing his claw and looking bored.

“That was pretty impressive. Utterly useless, but impressive nonetheless. Tell me one good reason, why I don’t take over?”

“Because you’d get your ass handed to yourself by six little girls again?” said Frank, trying to sound smug, but couldn’t pull it off between his heavy gasps for air, “the first time was embarrassing enough. I doubt your image would be able to handle a second time.”

Discord frowned, throwing the file over his shoulders where it exploded with a loud bang and left scorch-marks on the floor.

“As I thought, Discord is on a whole different level than Celestia. He barely even has to try!”

The fatigue kicked in as his vision got blurry. With a grunt and weak sizzle of his horn, he pushed it back. Luna noticed though, as did Discord with a wide grin.

“What’s wrong? Have you run dry already? Do you regret facing me?”

Bellowing laughter filled the stadium.

Not from Discord though.

“Regret? Are you kidding me? This is everything I’ve ever wanted!”

That reaction took everyone by surprise. Frank was outmatched and outclassed by a mile, and couldn’t possibly hope to win. He stood close to get the beating of his life-time and yet laughed like a lunatic.

“Can you imagine how boring and mundane my life was? The constant soul-crushing routine day after day, hoping and dreaming of something worthwhile to happen?”

Frank pulled himself together and did another pose under the loud cheers of the crowd. “Look at me! I’m a super-powered pony princess that can shoot lasers from her horns. How cool is that?!”

“I have the most beautiful and sweetest marefriend imaginable, with a flank that dwarfs my own in sexiness,” said Frank pointing at Luna in the crowd, “Look at her and tell me you wouldn’t rip your own tail off for a chance to tap that flank?”

Luna sank, embarrassed, into her seat and hid her beet red head, which got even worse when she heard the murmur and whistling from the crowd that seemed to agree with Frank.

Both stallions and mares.

“See? They agree that I got more than most would even dare to wish for!”

He took off the sunglasses to look him directly in the eyes for the next part. “I don’t regret anything, even if I would drop dead right now.”

The noise stopped and dead silence reigned supreme in an instant.

“Poor choice of words maybe.” thought Frank, looking at Luna’s panicked expression.

Discord’s facial expression was unreadable, simply staring at Frank without any emotion.

“Don’t blame me, if you get hurt.”

Frank put his glasses back on. “Hit my theme music again.”

And Frank heard it, but only him this time. Maybe he didn’t have enough magic anymore to let it happen, or maybe the rules for this kind of thing allowed only one time use. It didn’t matter anyway as Discord decided to turn it up a notch.

Frank’s hooves were suddenly glued to ground as it turned to very sticky caramel.

“You know Tia, I’ve always wondered what the negative version of you would be like, “ said Discord, and wiggled his forefinger in front of Frank’s face, “Care to find out?”

It was really hard for Frank to suppress his inner brony from fangasming at this point.

“Awesome! He’s gonna do the thing from season two, where he turns you in the worst version of yourself. Wait a second… The worst version of me? Holy shit!”

“Discord, no!!!”

*poke*

The gathered audience collectively gasped, as Frank’s prismatic mane went monochrome and his coat changed from white to grey. Even his outfit lost color, turning completely black. Discod vanished in a puff of smoke, reappearing a few feet away in a giant throne.

The ground turned normal again, and Frank dropped on the floor with his face buried in both frontlegs.

“This is gonna be so much fun!” thought Discord as he ate a large mouthful of popcorn that he summoned by snapping his claws.

“Discord, you monster!” screamed Luna, flaring her wings to join the fray, to be stopped by Twilight who descended from the commentator booth.

“No, wait! We don’t know how she will react! Her mind is warped and twisted by Discord.”

That sounded way too familiar for Luna’s taste as she watched her sister roll on the floor. If Twilight was right, then they would have to do something that she could never do in a million years.

Everyone held their breath as Frank heaved himself from the ground on shaky legs. He noticed a speck of dust on his new black shirt and half heartedly patted it off.

“So where were we?” said Frank, adjusting his sunglasses with a big friendly smile on his face.

Discord dropped his popcorn. “That’s it? A change of clothes and grey hair? You’re really boring Tia, I expected more!”

He had done this to many ponies throughout the centuries, but never had gotten a reaction like that. Usually they were moody, angry, frightened or sometimes just plain insane. Happy and calm wasn’t supposed to happen.

Frank bowed deeply before him. “Oh, I’m sorry to disappoint you. I aim to satisfy all my subjects, which includes you dear Discord. Maybe you would let me get a little aid to make it more enjoyable for you?”

This wasn’t right at all. Tia wasn’t the submissive type and Discord didn’t like it.

“You want to give me handicap? Sure go ahead!”

Frank bowed again. “Thank you, that’s very nice of you”

A small wooden box appeared in front of him and he opened it to reveal it’s content to everyone. Those who knew what it was, were instantly shocked.

“The alicorn amulet?!” said Twilight, Luna and Discord in almost perfect unison.

“Jinx, you owe each other a soda!” chirped Pinkie, oblivious to the seriousness of the situation.

Twilight on the other hand was not, and got quite furious. “How did she get that? Zecora was supposed to hide it! Where is she anyway?”

“Did anypony bother to invite her?” asked Rarity, looking at each of her friends.

They all did the same before looking to the ground.

“Awwwkwaaarrd…..”

“Shut up Pinkie!”

Frank turned to Twilight and the rest, twirling the amulet around his hoof.

“From your looks, I gather that you are familiar with this little trinket. I swiped it from that zebra you won’t let live in town and who has to fend for herself in a small shack in the forest.”

“THAT’S NOT HOW IT IS AND YOU KNOW IT!”

“Tell her Twilight!” said Pinkie and patted her on the shoulder, “Zecora is cool with us now. We only ran her out of town once when we thought she was a child molester.”

Twilight’s eyes almost bulged out of her head. “WE NEVER THOUGHT THAT!”

Pinkie faltered a bit. “We didn’t?”

“YES!”

“Then why did we violently invade her home and break all her stuff in the process?”

It was at that moment, that Twilight noticed quite a few zebras in the audience with grim expressions.

“WE ARE NOT RACIST AGAINST ZEBRAS! WE’RE NOT, HONEST!”

“Yeah, we would have done the same thing to a griffon!”

“PINKIE!” screamed Twilight, pouncing and strangling the mare with both hooves while Rarity and Fluttershy tried to pry her off.

The two real combatants stood there in the meantime, and watched the whole thing play out. Frank just grinned, but Discord was simply awestruck.

“This is a work of art...”

Frank bowed for the third time on this evening. “Thank you, but flattery won’t save you.”

With loud click the small amulet snapped around Frank’s neck.

Twilight and Luna felt a shudder going down her spine, like every single unicorn in the stadium. It was enough to prompt Twilight to let go of Pinkie. A few moments later the rest of the audience could feel something as they started to sweat. This day would go down in history as “The longest day”. The day when the sun rose twice and the temperature climbed to a new record high, which would never be reached again in the future.

Discord wasn’t sweating from the heat though, as the saint-like smile melted from Frank’s face, matching to the murderous temperature.

The following howl shook him to the bone.

“I’M GONNA RIP OFF YOUR FACE AND WEAR IT TO THE UGLY BALL!”

Airspace somewhere in equestria...

“I’m gone for one day from ponyville, and everything goes down the drain.”

Rainbow Dash had been in the middle of redecorating her new office to match her awesome standards, when she was all of a sudden blinded by the sun from the window and started sweating from the rising temperature.

At ten in the evening.

It didn’t take her long to figure out who was responsible for this. Without thinking, she had opened the window and bolted in the direction of ponyville. Flying was monstrously strenuous due to the heat, and Rainbow Dash was soaked in her own sweat in minutes.

Even at her top speed, it would take some time to reach ponyville under these conditions. Time Rainbow Dash might not had. She wasn’t soaring through the sky alone for long, as a turquoise blur drew to even level with her.

“What do you want, Lightning?”

“To join the fun!”

Lightning Dust was an astounding flyer on Rainbow’s level, something she wasn’t too petty to acknowledge. With a situation ahead that was completely unknown to her, Rainbow Dash thought that she might need all the help she could get.

“As long as you don’t slow me down.”

She gave Rainbow Dash the “bitch please” look, before pointing to something behind them.

“If you’re concerned about being held up, turn your attention to the old timer who is gasping for air.”

Rainbow Dash glanced back and indeed, there was Spitfire, slowly closing in on them. Several moments passed until she actually managed to catch up. It was a funny thing to see one of your former idols in such less shape than yourself.

“What’s up granny?” said Lightning Dust, turning and crossing both frontlegs behind her head to mimic lying down.

Spitfire noticed with a grudge that she didn’t have to slow down while doing so.

“Those two have unreal abilities!”

She wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of admitting it though. “I’m still part of the Wonderbolts and your superior, grunt.”

The smug grin on Lightnings Dust’s face faltered a bit, but came back in full force as she flew in front of Rainbow Dash and pinched her cheeks.

“But not hers. Right Dashie? Nobody tells you what to do anymore.”

Rainbow Dash jerked her head away and blasted passed Lightning Dust with newfound speed. The two pegasi left behind, stared a moment at the rainbow colored dot gaining distance.

“She’s turning it up a notch! Try to keep up old timer! WRRRYYYYY!!!

Lightning Dust did a similar blast of speed to take up pursuit, hollering and hooting like a madmare.

“I’m not old…” said Spitfire with a pout, but couldn’t ignore her joints screaming in pain as she increased her own speed.

Maybe the change of leadership came at the right time.

A picture of herself flashed in her mind, lying in the sand of a beautiful beach and enjoying herself. The picture got even better with a certain pie loving stallion at her side and a bunch of young foals who looked all similar to them in some way.

Back in Ponyville….

“COME ON EVERYPONY, SMILE, SMILE, SMILE!”

Discord had never experienced fear in his life. Even when they turned him into stone, he was more annoyed than frightened. The spell would eventually wear off and Discord had all of eternity, so what do a couple thousand years matter in the big scheme of things?

“FILL MY HEART UP WITH SUNSHINE, SUNSHINE!” roared Frank as he blasted the closest building to his left into splinters.

This was the first time Discord actually was concerned about his wellbeing. The power boost Tia got was no joke, and he wasn’t one-hundred percent sure he could win right now. He was a coward at heart, only fighting battles whose outcomes were clear from the beginning.

At least to him.

So he had bailed the stadium at the first possible opportunity with Frank hot on his trail. Now, Discord was hiding behind a building in ponyville central that wasn’t burned down and thinking feverishly for a solution to this mess.

“Running away sounds like a good idea. I could be halfway in zebrica before she notices that I’m gone.”

No, he couldn’t do that. What impression would it make if he just fled and left them to fend for themselves in a mess he created? What would Fluttershy think of him?

On the other side, this place would surely get wrecked even more if he duked it out with Tia and used all of his power. His only option right now was to keep Tia from hurting someone and hoping that Twilight and her friends know what to do. Business as usual.

“I really got soft…”

Frank grew more impatient by the second. “Come out coward, I start to feel bored and I’m running out of songs!”

“Hey, Lardbutt, over her!” said Discord, jumping out his hiding place, ”You seem pretty eager to get my attention. Want another smooch?”

Frank sneered and ran through the rubble of the house he obliterated earlier. Discord snapped his fingers to make it reappear around Frank in its undamaged state. That caused him to run head first against a solid brick wall.

A few seconds later, Frank exited the house quietly through the front door and looked around awkwardly to find out if somebody had seen that.

“Princess Celestia!” said a familiar voice from the sky, before a purple blur impacted in front of him.

“Oh hey Twilight, how are you doing?”

Twilight still wasn’t the most gracious of flyers, and had botched the landing in spectacular fashion. Getting on her hooves in one quick swoop, she flared her wings and put on the most serious face possible. Which turned to confusion when her sight cleared and she saw nothing.

She heard a short whistle and spun around to an amused looking Frank, still standing in the doorway.

“Your so adorable, when you try to act serious.”

He walked passed her and searched for any trace of Discord, who had used the diversion to hide again.

“I demand that you stop this right now!”

Frank walked further, utterly unimpressed by her order. “Or what?”

Twilight gulped. Now was the time to take action and step out of the shadow of her mentor. She was not taken seriously and had to show some authority!

“You would leave us no choice, but to use the Elements of Harmony!”

Frank stopped in his tracks and Twilight was suddenly flung towards him in a golden aura.

“Let’s see… one, two, three, four… hmm, I’m afraid, your party is a few members short for this boss,” said Frank, before he dropped the perplexed Twilight and let her fall backwards, “Good effort though. Better luck next time.”

Still lying on her back giving Frank a pleading look. “Princess… Tia, please stop this. Let us help you, the magic of Friendship is stronger than this.”

Frank stopped again and shuddered from head to hoof, before he did an audible gagging sound.

“I’m getting through to her!” thought Twilight, feeling immense admiration for the willpower of her mentor.

“Twilight.. that…”

“Yes?” said Twilight with new hope in her voice.

“That was so corny!”

And just like that, her hope crashed and burned in a large fiery pit of disappointment.

“Yep, so much it almost physically hurt. I’m embarrassed for you!”

She barely was barely able to control her outrage. “But, it’s true! Friendship overcomes anything!”

Frank went silent and smiled. Not a friendly or happy smile though, more the kind of smile of someone who had something devious planned. Twilight didn’t like this smile on her idol.

“Oh really?” Frank finally said in a sugary tone, “tell me Twilight, how did you beat Discord the last time?”

That question confused her. Celestia knew what happened in detail, from herself and her friends. She was also personally there for a large part. There must be a different reasoning behind this question, but Twilight answered despite the bad feeling she had.

“We used the Elements of Harmony to—”

“Blast him with a huge rainbow laser and turn him into stone,” interrupted Frank, “damning him to at least thousand years of solitude. The same draconequus who enjoys a good cup of tea with his dear friend Fluttershy, and you wouldn’t have wasted a second thought on him if I turned him to stone tomorrow. That’s hardly friend-like behaviour, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Well… not really, but we didn’t—”

He silenced her with a raised hoof. “Chrysalis most like is now a bloody smear on the rock she landed on after being blasted away.”

“Who’s Chrysalis?” asked Twilight, but Frank continued regardless as if he didn’t hear her.

“Oh, and Sombra? He’s definitely dead, incinerated alive to ash and smoke. Can you imagine how painful that is? I don’t, but I heard his death scream all the way to canterlot.”

Twilight went a bit pale at the mental image and swallowed.

“Love and tolerate, am I right?”

And now it’s time to go in for the killer.

“And what about those annoying Pinkies from the mirror pool you got rid of?” said Frank, before he got closer to whisper in her ear, “What if I told you, that every single one of them was really alive?”

That hit home for Twilight. Her mind knew that this wasn’t true, because she was well aware of the magical properties of the mirror pool. Unfortunately, common sense is often overruled when someone you idolize says that something is a certain way.

The implication made Twilight go green and sick to her stomach.

Then she felt something on the outside of her stomach.

*Brrrrrttttt!*

Twilight started laughing from the sudden raspberry on her exposed tummy. Frank didn’t stop for a minute, until tears started streaming from her face and she’d gotten the hiccups between breathless gasps.

“Gotcha! You should see see the look on your face! I’m a mass murderer, buhuhuhu!”

Still not capable of breathing properly, Twilight just rolled on her side with a head that got redder every second.

“But regardless, congratulations on your kill count. Now I’ve got to work on my own.”

All he heard was wet snort from the purple heap on the floor.

“And hey, at least you’re not that other student I once had who is now in a parallel universe as a hairless orange ape. Don’t ask me more about her though, I’ve never watched the movie.”

“Huh? But I… WHAT?!” stuttered Twilight, as she got ditched by Frank.

Discord had seen the whole thing from his new hiding place in a small barrel with an eyehole. It had barely taken a minute, and now one of Discords most worthy adversaries was lying on the floor as babbling buffoon.

“How does she do that? This is downright diabolical!”

He thought back to Frank’s first comment about him being forgotten and felt like lying down too. What she said wasn’t inherently wrong, with the exception of the mirror pool. They had done all of this, and would do it again if necessary.

That was the cold, hard reality of things and Discord didn’t like it.

“There’s no place to hide Diddy. I’ll get you eventually!”

Not one bit.

Discord made the mistake to answer and consequently revealed his position. “Tia, come on, I think that—”

“IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!”

Meanwhile, Rarity, Pinkie and Fluttershy had arrived at Twilight’s side with a shellshocked Luna in tow. While they tried to get Twilight to talk, Luna observed the damage done by her sister. Dozens of houses and booths were destroyed and burned down with debris and smoke all over the town. They were lucky that most of the attendees of the festival and townsfolk were safe at the stadium right now.

“Twilight, snap out of it! We need to use the elements on her!” said Rarity, shaking Twilight's shoulders to get her attention.

“How?” asked Fluttershy, “We’re only four.”

They thought about it feverishly, until their eyes fell on the other princess at their side.

“Luna can use them!”

“Yeah! Celestia used them alone before, you can do it too!”

Luna thought so too, but also remembered what had happened then and what had been different from the second use on her. The elements were not supposed to be used by one alone, and her sister had been forced to improvise. She looked at the blazing sun and imagined a picture of a mare in it, and it almost broke her heart.

“…I can’t...”

Rarity got desperate. “Princess!”

“NO! I CAN’T!” said Luna, taking flight in the opposite direction as fast as possible.

“LUNA! Damnit!” cursed Rarity, “What do we do now?”

“We could try to shoot at her.”

Rarity deadpanned. “With what, Pinkie?”

“Oh, you know…” said Pinkie coyly, glancing at the giant airship.

“Fluttershy, don’t let her out of your sight!”

Something grabbed her by the legs and made Rarity yelp from the pressure. She was still holding Twilight on the shoulders, who decided to finally get out of her little trance with great force as she remembered a certain conversation.

“...Twilight, you’re a strong-willed and good-hearted pony, but for goodness sake stop groveling like a dog and show some dignity!”

She gritted her teeth so hard it made a grinding noise.

“...I’m not your mentor anymore. As far as I’m concerned, we both are equal now…”

With one great leap she bolted into the air and unfurled her wings to max span, scanning the area for her target. She found it a few streets away, cornering a frightened Discord.

“...I suggest you learn to take a joke, get a thicker coat, and stop being such a pansy...”

Twilight landed with a loud stomp a few metres away, just far enough that Frank didn’t notice her until it was already too late as he turned around.

There were no more words uttered or air wasted with fruitless efforts to convince her former mentor. Twilight used the last course of action available to her.

A flaming purple ball of kickass!

“THIS WILL KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO YOU!”

Frank would have chuckled at the craziness of it all. This was the second time in the span of one evening that he stared at a giant ball of energy that was moments away from being fired at his face. He doubted that this one would miss.

The tension of the scene broke when someone walked casually between them from an alley.

“This popsicle isn’t all that great.”

“What is Blueblood doing here?!” thought Twilight in panic, unable to cancel her spell and jerked her head upwards to blast the sky.

The stallion glanced up from his little treat at the spectacle in the sky and then at the figures surrounding him, starting to beam with joy as he saw Frank.

“Aunty!” said Blueblood, hurrying to Frank who still stared at Twilight.

“Don’t go there! She will blast you to pieces!”

“Silly Twilight Sparkle,” said Blueblood with a frown, “aunty would never do something like that. Right aunty?”

Frank pushed the stallion gently aside. “Blueblood, stop being a goddamn idiot and get out of the way. I’d like to to discuss things with my former student.”

His eyes went wide and he did an audible gasp. Aunty had cursed. Aunty never curses when he’s around to set a good example for him. She said only stupid ponies curse when they have nothing worthwhile left to say. Blueblood remembered what she used to do in the past when he said something inappropriate.

So, he returned the favour. Hitting Frank on the nose with his popsicle.

“Bad aunty, no being a meanie. Now say you’re sorry!”

Twilight’s jaw dropped and so did Discord’s, but Frank just stared at Blueblood’s pouting face and twitched his left eye. He then focused his gaze on the ice cream smear on his nose.

“Did… did you just hit me with your… hey cut that out!”

Frank gagged and snorted when Blueblood hit him a second time and some of the melted ice cream entered one of his nostrils.

“So, what do you say?”

The ice cream on his nose evaporated instantly and he reared up to strike. Frank froze mid punch, standing still like a mannequin with black smoke from both of nostrils. Blueblood hadn’t flinched or reacted in any way.

His trust in his aunt was absolute.

To better understand the inner workings of this intricate creature called Frank, we know see a visualisation of his moral conflict.

Inside the Frank Command Center:

A Celestia in a devil costume and a Celestia with a slightly more evil looking devil costume wearing the Alicorn amulet, sat together in front of a large screen with a big red button. For convenience sake, lets call them Devilestia and Amulestia.

Amulestia reached for the punch button when Devilestia grabbed the hoof and held it in place.

“What are you doing? You can’t hit him, you’re practically sprinting to hell!”

“Aren’t we evil now?” said Amulestia, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, but there’s a difference between evil and just plain wrong!”

Both of them looked at the bound and gagged form of a Celestia in an angel costume lying on the floor.

“Why does her costume have wings? That’s kinda redundant.” said Devilestia and gave Amulestia another slap on the wrist as it inched closer to the button.

“Come on! Just one little punch!”

“I said no!”

“Who made you boss anyway?” said Amulestia, ready to duke it out, “I say we punch his lights out!”

At this moment, the constraints from the Angel-Celestia snapped and it roared.

“We are not beating on a mental-handicap! That’s where I put the foot down!”

“We don’t even have those anymore!”

“AHHHH! I SMASH YOU DEMON!”

“Put the screen down, you haloed maniac!”

As a result of his little internal dispute, Frank hadn’t moved for at least five minutes and just stared blankly at Blueblood eating his popsicle.

“You want some?”

Frank blinked. “I’d love to.”

Blueblood brought the popsicle to his mouth, and Frank opened it slightly to take bite. He yanked it away at the last possible moment, remembering an important part.

“But first you must apologize.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Good aunty!” said Blueblood, as he waved the popsicle at him, splattering some ice cream on the alicorn amulet before Frank could grasp it with his magic.

“Oh sorry, got something on your pretty necklace. Let me get it off for you.”

“Hmm,” hummed Frank as he sat down, busy nibbling on his popsicle as Blueblood took out a handkerchief and started scrubbing on the alicorn amulet.

It popped off Frank’s neck right then and there.

“Shoot, I broke it!” said Blueblood in panic, trying to get it back around Frank’s neck, “Does somebody know how to fix this?”

As an answer he got an deafening cheer from the suddenly gathering crowd. They came out of every nook and corner of the town and celebrated their new hero:

“He broke the spell.”

“The prince saved the day.”

“All hail Prince Blueblood!”

Rarity and Fluttershy got dragged along by the crowd as they tried in vain to reach Twilight. Pinkie, on the other hand, bounced happily in the crowd and waved at them.

“Come on Twilight, let’s celebrate. You too Discord!”

The two watched the retreating crowd carrying Blueblood on their backs to the marketplace. Discord swallowed once and almost casually poked Frank on the head to give him and his outfit the color back.

Still occupied with his popsicle, he only grunted in acknowledgement before getting up and joining the crowd with Blueblood and the others.

After a moment of silence, Discord threw his claw and paw in the air with a sound of resignation, snapped once to repair the damage in town and vanished in a puff of smoke with the second.

That left Twilight alone on the street with time to think.Time to analyze the situation from an outside perspective and detached from her personal involvement.

“...Pfft…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

She laughed long and loud, hitting the floor with her hooves and tears streaming down her face.

“HOLY SHIT! THAT IS FUNNY!”

Back on the airship some time later...

In a large bedroom sat a lone figure, hiding under the bed sheet and quivering in fear.

“I left her.”

One eye peeked out of the sheet and stared at the blazing sun, shining through the window.

“She needs me, and I’m hiding in my bed like a foal!”

Luna tried to calm herself down. “It’s ok, Twilight will fix this. She always does.”

Those words sank in, making her even more depressed. Is that what it came down to? Pushing your responsibilities on others to make yourself feel better?

“Luna, you’re so pathetic…”

She paused her silent self-loathing when voices could be heard just outside her room.

“... I really need an aspirin...”

“Princess! This is important! Please listen to me…”

“Aunty, did I do good?”

“...Yes, you did nephew. That’s why your Aunty’s little favourite. Be a dear and fetch me an ice pack from the kitchen, and treat yourself to some real ice cream as a reward. That popsicle tasted like garbage!”

“Yay!”

“Princess Celestia!”

“Not so loud, Trusty!”

Not longer able to contain herself, Luna bursted out of her room and into Frank. Both of them toppled to the ground with Frank on his back and Luna on top, showering him with kisses. Trusty just stood there watching uncomfortably as they got more and more heated.

Frank tossed her off him as he saw Blueblood coming around the corner. “I’m back aunty! I couldn’t find an icepack, so I wrapped some ice cream in a…”

He noticed Luna.

“...towel. Hello Princess Luna. To what circumstance do I owe the pleasure of you being here?”

“Blueblood,” she growled at the young stallion, her guilt momentarily forgotten.

His face had the usual smugness and arrogant demeanor, but it looked pretty off with the ice cream drenched towel floating over his head and dripping on his white coat. He glanced a few times at Frank and Trusty, unsure of what to do now.

A warm hoof on his shoulder reassured him. “It’s ok, nephew. Be yourself.”

“Ok… “

And right before Luna’s eyes happened something, she thought impossible. Blueblood actually smiled like a normal pony. No sneer, no smugness, just a stallion with smile that showed that he was happy to be here.

“What is going on here? Why is he behaving like that?”

Then Blueblood did another impossible thing when he actually hid behind Frank, peeking meekly at her from time to time.

Frank’s expression softened. “Be nice Luna… for your sake.”

“Being nice to this guy?” said Luna, stomping the ground, “do you know how much trouble I had with him? What could possible tempt me to do that?”

Frank sighed and signaled Luna to get close enough to whisper something in her ear.

Trusty and Blueblood watched as the annoyed expression on Luna’s face fell like a brick.

“... He’s what?”

Frank rolled with his eyes and whispered again in her ear.

“...Your joking right?” Luna said, waiting for Blueblood to say something to this clear up.

He did, and she wished that he didn’t.

“... you're not gonna strangle me again, do you? I don’t like it when ponies hurt me.”

There are times in life, when perspectives change drastically with the addition of one little piece of information. Luna experienced such a moment, as she relieved her past interactions with the prince in another light.

“How you do it hurts not as much though. Words tend to sting more for some reason. Thank you for doing the less hurtful kind of hurt at least.”

...Did your hear how he talked to me? Like I was five years old...

… five years old...

Frank waved a leg in front of her face.

“Luna?”

She turned her head slowly to stare at him with an absent-minded look on her face. Her eyes focused and went wide. Frank knew what was coming as soon as she opened her mouth, and braced himself for the assault on his poor ears.

“OH MY GOD, I FEEL LIKE SUCH JERK!”

The Royal Canterlot Voice is so much worse when you have a headache.

“Told you,” said Frank, patting her shoulder.

She swatted his hoof away and grabbed the startled prince in a bearhug. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t know!”

“You didn’t know what?” said Blueblood with a frown.

Luna was about to answer truthfully, but could see Frank frantically wave out of Blueblood’s sight and mouthing silently words at her.

“That you’re … It doesn’t matter! Things will change from now on, you don’t have to play your act around me anymore!”

Blueblood seemed satisfied with that answer. “Ok, aunty… hey, I have two aunties now!”

Luna was puzzled from the statement and the smiling face of the young stallion, before a warm feeling started to spread in her chest. Her motherly side took over with a vengeance and resulted in cuddling poor Blueblood almost senseless.

“D’aww, isn’t that just adorable.” thought Frank, looking at those two before the turned his attention to the window and the still blazing heat outside, “Huh, I still haven’t lowered the sun.”

Out of her eyes, Luna saw Frank do the familiar spell. “Tia, no!”

Usually this would be a piece of cake for both them, especially for Tia who is more in tune with the sun. Even at their worst days this task would make them a little bit winded at best, but for Frank was it the last straw.

The straw to break the camel’s back.

“What? Everything’s fine, stop worrying an—”

Frank stopped mid sentence, as both eyes rolled back in his head and he hit the floor with a loud thud. Blueblood instantly broke free from Luna’s hug with a strength that almost ripped her legs off. The young stallion crouched down to the still form of Frank with a look of pure horror.

He gave him a little nudge with his nose. “Aunty? Come on this isn’t funny!”

“Is that really the same stallion?”

“Don’t worry… nephew,” said Luna reluctantly, not used to the intimate salutation, “She’s just exhausted and needs rest to recharge.”

Blueblood stopped sniffling. “She did a lot of cool stuff today.”

“Yes she did, nephew. Yes she did. And as a result, she will feel this badly in the morning.”

Luna levitated Frank inside her room and placed him gently on her bed.

“I’ll watch over her tonight,” said Luna, stroking Frank’s prismatic mane which had stopped moving, “Trusty, you’re free to use anything you want. Let Blueblood show you around.”

He ran away without waiting. “Let’s start with the kitchen. I’m still hungry!”

Trusty had been silent the whole time, watching from the sidelines and waiting for things to calm down.

“Princess, we need to—”

“Trusty, really…”

“Princess this is important!”

“IT CAN WAIT TRUSTY!!” roared Luna, making the ship quake and the nearby windows crack before she was able to control herself and whispered the next part, “I’m sorry, just grant me some time with my sister. Please?”

A look of understanding dawned on Trusty’s face and she silently closed the door behind her. Luna might have said to Blueblood that it wasn’t a big deal, but on the inside she was almost torn to pieces. Trusty would get nothing useful out of Princess Luna today from the emotional condition she was in.

“I wasn’t there for you,” said Luna quietly, watching his peaceful form as she laid down beside him, “but I swear to be in the future by all that is holy. No matter what!”

He had ditched his clothes, but still wore the sunglasses and the red bandana in addition to the fake blond mustache. She gently removed those items from him to make his sleep more comfortable. Frank’s eyelids twitched and he inched closer. Their noses touched briefly, and Luna feared for a moment that she’d woken her sister up.

Frank opened his mouth slightly and hot breath hit her nose. Luna closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable to happen.

*nom*

The next moment Luna got grabbed and pulled closer, combined with something warm and really wet on her face. Opening one eye, she saw him slobbering all over her nose.

“Eh lof yu… yu big ouf...”

Author's Note

Proofread and edited by Asop.

Choices, Chances, Changes...

Fluttershy was really worried about Discord.

That in and of itself wasn’t anything out ordinary for her, because he tended to usually and repeatedly do things which caused that. Every time he just left without saying a word, sometimes for days and weeks, Fluttershy couldn’t help but worry. Even if he wasn’t around, Discord had the ability to keep you constantly on your toes.

And she loved every second of it.

Her friends had seen only malicious intent in him during his reformation, much to Fluttershy’s dismay. She knew mean, she experienced mean during her childhood and pure evil like Sombra in her adult life. Discord was a prankster and a bit on the insane side, but had not a single evil bone in his body. Nobody in their right mind would think that, seeing the extent of his powers and what he eventually does with it.

He didn’t have to jump through all those hoops to defeat them when he was released the first time. A snap of his talons and they could have been be scattered across the whole planet. Dying of thirst in the desert, freezing to death on a snowy mountain top, or simply falling to their doom from a large height without wings or horns to do magic.

If he’d felt like being creative, instead of simply incinerating their bodies on the spot.

The possibilities to deal with them had been endless, but Discord had chosen to play games. Games he still played with Fluttershy to her guilty pleasure and she couldn’t see evil in anymore.

A dancing teapot shooting water is annoying, but also really sweet if it hums your favourite song while doing it.

A door that leads to a different place every time you open it wastes your time, but only if you don’t appreciate the possibility of witnessing a sunset over the ocean at any time of the day.

And a giant talking statue of yourself and him dancing can be irritating, until you notice that while his stone version looks crude and ugly, your version is a perfect and masterfully crafted copy of yourself.

Without him, Fluttershy’s days had often been painfully boring. She simultaneously dreaded and longed for his eventual return when Discord would reappear in Fluttershy’s house as if no amount of time had passed, which for him it probably hasn’t. What are a few days or weeks to an immortal being?

All the more, it had been especially worrying for Fluttershy to see him so out of character as he returned this morning. At first she had not noticed anything out of the ordinary, with him sitting quietly at the coffee table and looking out of the window.

Only to freeze halfway through grabbing her mug out of the cabinet, as the realisation hit her like a rock.

Nothing had been out of the ordinary.

Nothing had been out of the ordinary with Discord being around.

“Do you have some playing cards, Fluttershy?” he had asked then, sounding bored.

She had playing cards, dozens of sets actually, for when her friends had come over to play. Sets she had replaced as soon as her new mansion had been built. Fluttershy had opened a drawer in a hurry and given him all of the cards she had, still having frantic thoughts in the back of her head.

“Why does he need playing cards? Why didn’t he just get them with magic? Did… did he just open the door to the living room with his paw?”

Forgetting her breakfast and everything else for that matter, Fluttershy had observed Discord from the kitchen through a crack of the door to this very moment as he built a structure of cards.

No magic, no craziness, no nothing.

As the minutes piled up, so did the intricate object in front of him. She watched from beginning to end and couldn’t tell what it’s supposed to be until it was almost finished. It looked like a simple tower, but soon branched off into several other pillars that looked like legs.

Which somehow turned into an impressive model of an alicorn that resembled Celestia to a tee.

“I can’t remember the last time I did this, Fluttershy,” Discord said, staring into the empty eye sockets of the life-sized alicorn model, “I used to do this all the time for fun, because it reminded me so much of life itself.”

Being caught stalking, Fluttershy timidly walked into the living room to keep the unusually somber and philosophical draconequus company on the couch.

“On it’s own, building with cards follows really simple rules as life does. Nothing ever rests, nothing is relatable on it’s own and always has a source and impact of equal force, everything has an opposite, anything has a given time to manifest and linger, and nothing is ever truly lost.”

She did her best to follow his explanation, but couldn’t quite grasp what he meant by that. Seeing her questioning look, Discord continued regardless.

“Somebody who knows all this information should never be surprised by anything.”

He took out a card from the center of the model and large parts started to crumble away, until it looked exactly like Princess Luna to Fluttershy’s amazement.

“And I do know it, Fluttershy,” Discord said with sad tone, “although, I try my hardest not to. Given enough time, even the dumbest can unravel the mysteries of the universe and the boredom that comes with that epiphany.”

Another card was pulled and she looked awestruck at the replica of Twilight.

"She will learn this too, though I think that it’d be best that she doesn’t.”

The Twilight model lost it’s wings as two more cards were pulled.

“The only saving grace of this predestined train ride we call life, are the small unexpected bumps along the way that shake things up and still manage to surprise us, which have sadly become less and less frequent in my existence.”

He poked Fluttershy in the ribs to make her jerk and she involuntarily bucked the table. That sudden movement let the whole structure of cards collapse on the table and floor. She looked horrified at the random pile of cards, feeling a bit sad of the destruction of something so beautiful.

“Look closer. What do you see?”

Realizing his intention, she stared at the pile with squinted eyes until the random shapes and colors formed a picture in the same fashion as a rorschach test.

“I see two rabbits, wearing cute hats and embracing each other.”

“Really?” Discord said, squinting his own eyes before chuckling, “I can’t see anything, but that’s to be expected.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t get it.”

He gently put his paw on her head. “Be glad, you don’t...”

This was the first time, Fluttershy truly understood how old Discord really was.

“I think I lost my edge, Flutters.”

He looked so very old right now, his expression unmoving like stone and focused in the distance.

“Do you know what it’s like to be bested in something you’re supposed to be the embodiment of?”

Fluttershy knew what this was all about, but kept silent to let him finish.

“I took pride in my craft and the ability to squeeze out every single bit of chaos to disrupt the grand plan, relishing in the thought that nobody could do things like I did.”

The card pile vanished with a snap of his talons and reappeared neatly stacked on the table. Drawing a card from the nearest deck, he looked at a Celestia version of the queen of hearts.

“Tia wasn’t even very original or revolutionary yesterday. I’ve done things just like that in the past, but…”

Discord snapped with his talons again, to let a chalkboard appear in the middle of the room. As he walked around in thought, several different colored lines started to form on the board, drawing a picture.

Fluttershy could recognize what most of the crude doodles should represent, if only through the color and general shape. In the center was an especially ugly drawing of Celestia with a huge butt and numerous circles drawn around it.

“Our usually so painfully boring princess created a chaotic masterpiece with tools, I’ve regarded as inferior for such magnitude. A mismatched cacophony of off-tuned instruments that somehow in summary made the most beautiful symphony that I’ve ever heard.”

It was weird for Fluttershy to hear Discord talk about causing chaos and mayhem as an art form. The thought of planning to be chaotic seemed a contradiction to her.

“The most infuriating thing is that I know how she did it. In hindsight it is painfully obvious, like coloring by numbers with only one crayon to choose from. But for a reason unknown to me, I can’t for the life of me figure out what she’s gonna do next.”

The Celestia doodle on the chalkboard started shaking it’s huge butt at Discord with an evil grin.

“It’s similar to playing chess against someone without knowing how the opponents pieces can move.”

Lightning struck the chalkboard from nowhere and only left a huge scorch mark behind.

“Chaos at it’s finest.”

Fluttershy dove behind the couch, startled at this point, but still desperately trying to pay attention to Discord from the floor.

“Have I met my match? Is it possible for me to be beaten that easily in my own game? And why am I so happy about it, that I could cry for joy?”

Discord turned around to the couch and frowned at the now empty spot. Peeking behind it, he saw a ball of yellow fur quivering on the floor. Grabbing her with his magic, Discord levitated Fluttershy gently beside him with an apologetic expression on his face.

One look at that face, and she couldn’t bring herself to be mad at him.

As usual.

“I really don’t think so,” Fluttershy said, patting his paw, “I mean, you’re the only being with powers like yours.”

He didn’t return her gesture, but didn’t stop her either. “Yes I am, but they also make me complacent with my work.”

He struck a thinker pose with his chin resting on his fist and petrified to solid stone. She got the joke, but nonetheless didn’t find it funny to see him like that. The possibility for this to be permanent had been too real in the past.

Every time he moved or talked, Fluttershy could see small parts of him crumble away.

“Do I have my magic, because I’m the Spirit of Chaos? Or is it only my magic that empowers me to be one?”

“Isn’t that the same?” Fluttershy said, tilting her head.

Discord shed out of his stone skin like a snake, showering the living room with debris and dust.

“For me it couldn’t be more different, my dear Fluttershy. It makes the difference between having earned your place, and having a title only because of predestined circumstances despite someone being more capable than me.”

She noticed his disdain as he spoke the word “predestined”.

“You think that it’s only your powers that make you the Spirit of Chaos?”

“I want to find out.”

“How?”

Before she could blink, Discord vanished and a unicorn stallion of her size with a brown coat took his place. He wore a grey suit that complimented his mane and beard in the same color. The white streaks in them gave him a regal aura, clashing heavily with his goofy smile.

“By starting from scratch, not as spirit but as missionary and explorer of chaos,” he said, admiring his new form at the mirror, “what do you think? Definitely an upgrade to my old ugly self.”

“You weren’t ugly…”

Fluttershy watched him almost tumble over his own hooves. “That’s... nice of you to say, Fluttershy. So... what should be my cutie mark?”

Symbols started to appear on his flank in rapid succession as he tried to find something that captured his chaotic and random personality. While he got more and more into his task, Fluttershy got more and more panicky. It didn’t take a genius in her eyes to see, that his newfound enthusiasm meant trouble.

“Appearance aside, your powers are still there, aren’t they?”

Discord stopped admiring his rear and frowned. A heartfelt smile grew on Fluttershy’s face as he turned himself back to his old disproportioned self.

“That’s true, I haven’t thought of that. My magic would tamper with the results of the experiment.”

Her heart got lighter again. Fluttershy felt it would take just a bit more, and she would have convinced him to drop this stupid idea. Thinking feverishly for arguments, she said the first reasonable thing that came to mind.

“And it’s not like you could simply give them away.”

She knew in an instant from his euphoric look that it was that simple.

“That’s it Flutters, you’re brilliant!”

Fluttershy wanted to protest, to stop him from making a mistake, but any resistance melted as Discord did something he hadn’t ever done before.

He picked her up like a doll and gave Fluttershy a kiss right on the lips.

There had been hugs in the past. Discord thought very little of personal space and was always one of the first to initiate physical contact, but this was most likely the first genuine kiss he had shared with somebody to Fluttershy’s knowledge. The one with Princess Celestia didn’t count in her book, as both of them were drunk and he got beaten up pretty bad for it.

“You’re welcome…” she said dreamily, inhaling the cotton candy scent of his coat.

Doing some twirls with the small mare in his arms, Discord wore the largest grin of his life. “And I’ve already got the perfect pony in mind to give it to.”

At the same time at the airship...

“I hope you learned something from your little stunt,” Luna said, using her magic to smear some butter on her toast.

Instead of answering, Frank took his third gulp from the sixth mug of coffee this morning. Luna noticed with a frown how he still wasn’t able to use his magic to grasp the mug, shakily holding it between his hooves and ignoring the pain as the scalding hot liquid shot down his throat.

Blueblood sat to Frank’s right with some warm chocolate milk. “What’s there to learn, brother? I thought what aunty did was super fun!”

Luna’s gaze went to her nephew and softened at the sight. The young stallion had begged Frank early in the morning to borrow his costume and wore it now with the enthusiasm of a colt playing superhero. Frank couldn’t deny how well the “Hulk Hogan” look suited him.

She actually laughed when he started flexing and tried to look intimidating, missing how his fake moustache was now dripping with the brown beverage.

“Yes it was fun, nephew,” Luna said as she wiped his mouth with a napkin, “so much so, that there isn’t any reason to do it again anytime soon, right Tia?”

All she got as an answer, was some unintelligible mumbling in his mug of coffee.

Frowning again, Luna took the knife and put it into the nearby glass jar with jam. Frank winced as the metal utensil hit the inner side, producing an audible clank and adding to his murderous headache. Unaffected by his anguish, she put some extra pressure on the knife, creating a sound that made his teeth hurt.

“You are so lucky, that I love you more than anything,” Frank thought, looking at the smug Luna with bloodshot eyes.

It felt weird to just sit normally on the breakfast table after what had happened in the last few days. Between totally going rampant in Ponyville and almost getting obliterated by Twilight Sparkle, this mundane activity seemed out of place. Luna and Frank fully expected something to break this peace and quiet at any second, but as their breakfast went on nothing happened.

“That reminds me. Here’s your pretty necklace, aunty.”

At first.

Frank looked at the ancient artifact on the table and got lost in the sparkling ruby centerpiece. Like in trance, he inched closer with his hoof and licked his lips in anticipation. The solution to his plight seemed so simple now. All Frank would have to do, is to snap that little trinket around his neck to get going again.

A vicious slap on his hoof brought Frank back, making him snarl at the perpetrator like a wild animal without looking who it was. When he finally did with bared teeth, Frank saw the teal eyes from Luna staring at him with worry.

Mere inches apart from being poked out by his horn.

Nobody in the room dared to speak as the seconds passed. Blueblood had dove under the table and glanced at his two aunts with fear. Luna just stood there with a stone-faced expression to hide any emotion that she felt right now, in blatant contrast to Frank whose face couldn’t fell fast enough in horror.

“Nephew, could you see how Trusty is doing? Tia and I, have something to discuss.”

Blueblood could read the mood in the room and nodded, before leaving the table in a quick pace. Once he was gone, Frank shakily buried his face in his front legs. “We need to get rid of that thing...”

“That sounds like a really good idea to me, sister,” Luna said with a healthy dose of sarcasm and ire in her voice.

Which wasn’t directed at Frank directly, but at the alicorn amulet. Luna hated this artifact with a passion. It was a curse like none other, lulling their wearers into a state of false security and dragging them to their inevitable doom.

“I’m sorry, Luna…”

Or leaving a guilt-ridden soul behind.

They tried everything in the old days to get rid of it, but nothing worked. The thing was virtually indestructible and had a mind of it’s own. The bottom of the sea or the center of the sun, were two of the first places they tried to no avail. Some unlucky sod would find it some decades later in the belly of a fish or smoldering in a crater when it somehow reentered the planet.

Eighteen times, they had to deal with the amulet during their rule, not counting the thousand years her sister had to do it alone. Luna shuddered, thinking about how many more times they would have to endure it. The battle against the amulet was a war of attrition, which her sister had finally crumbled under.

Whoever made this godforsaken trinket, Luna hoped they burned in Tartarus for all eternity.

“It’s alright,” Luna said, rubbing his back, “I know the ugly side of temptation firsthoof.”

Frank chuckled dryly. “So, it’s my turn now to be banished to the sun?”

The sudden hug from her was as tight as a vice. He wiggled a bit against her grip, but those strong legs wouldn’t release him, as if Luna feared that he would disappear the moment she let go.

“Not funny...”

“Very sensitive Frank, you goddamn idiot,” he scolded himself, returning her hug.

As a consequence, Frank stopped trying to get free and they remained like this for a while. He started to get a bit sleepy again from Luna’s body heat and sweet smell. Just in time to stop him from nodding off, she said something quietly in his ear.

“This may sound weird... but a small part of me is happy that this happened. Do you know why?”

Frank suppressed a yawn and answered. “A sadistic pleasure of seeing me suffer?”

“No dummy,” Luna said, bonking him on the head, “because you’re actually behaving like a pony with flaws and weaknesses.”

“That’s good how?”

Luna was baffled. Her sister really didn’t seem to know why.

“Do you have any idea how intimidating and unapproachable you are? How inferior ponies can feel in your wake? Twilight was your student for over a decade, and she still grovels like an unworthy servant at your hooves.”

Frank couldn’t deny the truth of that. Way before he experienced it himself, Frank hated how spineless Twilight was in the show when it came to her mentor. When his antics had a positive effect at all, then it was her newfound wariness against him.

Blind fealty is never a good thing.

“Speaking of her, how exactly did Twilight solve your problem yesterday?”

“She didn’t. Blueblood did. The little guy saved me from getting my ass beat by her.”

Luna let go and looked at him with raised eyebrows. Frank mimicked that look when she toppled over backwards and started to cackle, kicking wildly with all four legs.

“I fail to see what’s so funny about that.”

“Really?”

Frank sighed with a smirk. “No, not really. Why are we around anymore? She’s so much better than us at this whole princess thing, it’s almost ludicrous.”

“You aren’t thinking of quitting, you crazy old coot?”

She winced at her own insult. Her sister was not vain in any way, but her age and immortality had always been a bit of a sore spot. Outliving everyone you know and the repeated pain of loss can be a real strain on your psyche. She had involuntarily stepped on a landmine and waited with bated breath for it to go off.

Nothing came.

“With you on my side?” Frank replied, rubbing her cheek with his hoof, “sounds wonderful.”

This caused Luna to blush again. Even if it was only meant as a joke, to hear that he would abandon his duties and choose her over them made Luna happy beyond belief.

“What’s taking Trusty so long?” Luna said a bit choked up, pouring herself a cup of juice and trying to divert Frank’s attention from her beet red head, “didn’t she have something important to tell us yesterday?”

Thankfully, Blueblood came back at the right time to save her from further embarrassment. “She’s coming any second, aunties. I found her snoring under the bedsheets and she wouldn’t get up from my yelling.”

“So what did you do?” Frank asked casually, while Luna was taking a sip from her cup.

“I climbed onto the bed and tried to shake her, but she grabbed me instead.”

“And then?”

“We cuddled.”

Luna did a spit take on Frank and followed up with a nasty cough when some of the liquid came out of her nose. Frank only responded with a deadpan expression as the mixture of orange juice and princess snot ran down his face.

“You cuddled.”

Ignoring the combined stares of the alicorns, Blueblood continued with a content smile on his face.

“Yep, it was pretty nice actually. With her being asleep, I would call it sleepcuddling though. It’s rare these days to find somepony who is willing to do that with me without getting weird about it.”

“Weird how?” Frank asked, sensing a sudden mood shift in the room from which the still happy prince seemed unaffected.

“Some of the castle maids were eager to do that with me in the past, but at some point started touching me at weird spots and showing me theirs.”

“Oh god, don’t tell me…”

“Remember aunty? You got really flustered when I asked about those spots and showed you what they did to me. Strangely enough, nopony ever tried to do it anymore after that and we never found out why.”

Frank had never felt so uncomfortable in his life.

“YOU DIDN’T HAVE ‘THE TALK’ WITH HIM?!”

And it got worse.

“Apparently not, Luna.”

“HE’S IN HIS TWENTIES!”

“Luna, indoor voice please.”

Blueblood pouted. “What do you mean? Me and aunty Tia talk all the time.”

Trusty chose the following silence as the exact moment to burst into the room, receiving various kinds of stares from the three ponies inside. Blueblood looked just as happy and innocent as he had the whole time, while Frank looked incredibly relieved and Luna glared at Trusty as if she was trying to melt steel.

She bowed down so low, that her nose hit the floor.

“I overslept! I’m so sorry your Highnesses!

“Oh look nephew, it’s Trusty with very important news for us,” Frank said, frantically guiding Blueblood out of the room, “here, take some bits to do whatever you want in town. We’ll continue this conversation later!”

“How much later, aunty?”

“Much, much later, nephew.”

Meanwhile, Trusty was still bowing and saw suddenly two silver clad hooves in front of her face.

“You’re in the know about his condition right?”

Trusty flinched at the sharpness of Luna’s tone and nodded without looking up.

“That’s what I thought, you’re a smart mare after all. Unfortunately, it came to my attention only recently and I can’t help but feel some motherly need to ensure the wellbeing of my nephew. So it’s needless to say, that any kind of exploitation of him on your part would have consequences.”

Trusty’s head shot up from the ground to look directly at Luna.

“I assure your Highness, that this morning was only…”

Luna eyes turned catlike for a second. “Dire consequences.”

Frank came back just in time to witness it. “Don’t scare her like that, Luna. Trusty has always been good to him and will be so in the future. Right?”

“Of course your Highness!”

“Good. With that out of the way, lets start our meeting. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner I can figure out how the hell to teach my adult nephew about the birds and bees! Please tell me you have educational movies about this?”

“Tia, focus,” Luna said, helping Trusty on her hooves, “Trusty, please begin your report.”

“How bad could it actually be?” thought Frank, taking seat and watching Trusty take a deep breath before starting.

Twenty minutes of explanation later...

“Well… shit.”

Frank and Luna stood there with wide open mouths, trying to process the information as best as possible.

It was hard to decide on what item of her lengthy list of problems to focus on. For Frank, It was a three-way tie between the issue of future payment of all the state employees like guards and officials, the prospect of losing the public trust in general, and the fact that a huge chunk of that wasted money wasn’t really theirs to begin with.

Approximately half of it was only meant to be stored for the surrounding nations as a means to exchange currency.

He had wondered why there were griffons and minotaurs on some of those spent coins.

“We’re so screwed.”

Leave it to Luna to summarize the situation in four words.

“I wouldn’t go that far, sweetums.”

“Not that far? Tia, this thing couldn’t be farther gone if you sent it to the moon!” she said, starting to hyperventilate into a conjured paper bag, “That’s where you and I are heading for, unless we find a solution and fast!”

“There, there. No need to get upset.”

The paper bag popped, but was still stuck on her face like a muzzle. “How can you be so calm? This is all your fault in the first place. How could we possibly make this much money in such a short time?”

“Prostitution and drugs?”

Both mares looked at him with expressionless faces.

“Just thinking out loud, ladies. Geez, get a sense of humor.”

“THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER, TIA! I SWEAR YOU WILL BE THE END—”

He gave Luna a swift kiss, which startled her into silence. It looked kinda silly with the paper bag still on her face like a censor, blocking the sight of those two mouths going at it. The wet slurping sounds and moans were enough though, for Trusty to blush and try to look away awkwardly.

They stopped eventually to Trusty’s great relief and Frank pulled the paper bag off her face. “Please Luna, for my poor ears sake. I get it, this is all my fault.”

“You have a plan?” Luna said, still a bit dazed from the kiss they had shared.

Frank nuzzled her cheek. “I know what to do.”

Trusty and Luna both relaxed from Frank’s calm demeanor. For them, the situation looked to be hopelessly in the toilet with no way out. His treatment of this problem as a non-issue made their faces light up in hope.

“We have until the weekend is over before it becomes impossible to hide anymore, your Highness.”

“That’s plenty of time, Trusty.” Frank said, trying to use his magic to summon a pair of sunglasses for emphasis. All he got was a weak zizzle, paired with nausea and a searing pain in his head. Miffed about his failure, Frank turned to leave. “If you’d excuse me, I’ve got plans for today.”

Luna tackled him in the side with the force of a cannonball. Tumbling to the floor, he felt her lay on top of him and pinning him on the spot. One of his hooves found grip on the floor to pull himself along the ground while Luna held on for dear life.

“Oh no you don’t!” Luna said, applying more force and weight to stop him from crawling away. Frank was at an advantage due to his weight and size, making Luna struggle against him with everything she had. Then she realized that on the contrary to his magic, hers was perfectly fine and ready for use.

Two little glows around his hindlegs, and Frank dangled upside down from the ceiling.

“Luna, not in front of the hired help!” Frank said, acting coyly and using his tail to hide what you couldn’t see from this angle anyway, “That’s naughty!”

One glance at the empty spot where Trusty had stood told Luna that their secretary had fled the premise as soon as they had started their little floor wrestling.

“Stop being cheeky. You are still worn out from yesterday. No magic and no flying!”

Frank frowned, clearly disappointed. “How am I supposed to get around town without my magic and wings?”

He got flipped around and seated on his haunches, before a flash from her horn let an object appear in front of him.

“You’ve got to be kidding me...”

“Nope! Look, it even got cushions!”

“You really are lucky that I love you so much…” Frank thought, taking a seat in Luna’s chosen form of transportation.

Some time later at Ponyville market...

“Why is Princess Luna pulling her sister around in a red wagon for little foals?”

That was the question on everyone’s mind as the eye-catching duo paraded down the street. While Luna replied to the stares and murmurs with happy smiles and waves, Frank just buried his face in both hooves to hide his embarrassment. His posterior did barely fit in that wagon, forcing him to sit like a dog with his hindlegs hanging out on the side.

“Couldn’t you have made this a bit bigger?” Frank hissed at his royal chauffeur and winced as the rattly wagon hit another bump in the road.

“My apologies, sister!” Luna said chipperly, “It’s the same size it was the last time we used it. Maybe you gained a bit of weight on those generous curves of yours.”

“You don’t like my butt?”

“I love your butt! The more the better!”

“Are you calling me fat? I’m in the best shape of my life!”

“Tia, I would never…”

Somehow mesmerized by that display, most of the surrounding townsfolk waited until the princesses were out of sight before continuing their daily tasks.

One of those ponies was Rainbow Dash on her lunch break. In contrast, her two lunch partners showed a distinct lack of interest in what had happened. Spitifire’s head rested lazily on the table, still tired from the strenuous flight yesterday, but too proud to admit it to their youngsters.

Lightning Dust on the other hand just didn’t give a hoot.

“Waiter, another drink!”

The irritated stallion carrying the trays, gave Lightning Dust a withering look. She pulled out a sack of coins from her saddlebag and jingled with it in front of his nose, which lightened his attitude towards her tremendously as he put the large keg of hard liquor on the table.

“Keep em coming, this one’s gonna be gone in a moment!”

Even for her standards, Lightning Dust seemed to be in an extremely bad mood. Rainbow Dash glanced into the keg after she was done with her first gulp and noticed with awe, that already half of it was gone.

“Slow it down, It’s barely past morning and you’re gonna drink yourself straight to the hospital at that speed. Aren’t you a top athlete? Don’t let yourself go that much!”

The keg hit the table hard as Lightning Dust put it down. She licked the foam from her upper lip and gave Rainbow Dash a hard glare.

“Let me tell you something about how I do things: When I don’t challenge myself, I train. When I don’t train, I try to have fun. And when I’m not having fun, I drink.”

Lightning Dust took the half-empty keg and downed it as visual aid.

“But not matter what I do, I do it to it’s utmost limit. If I can’t take it, then at least I kick the bucket happy.”

Rainbow Dash frowned. “That’s a very sad way to live your life.”

“What more is there, Dashie?”

“Important things!” Rainbow Dash said enraged at her companions lack of enthusiasm, “like family and friends!”

Lightning Dust sighed into her empty keg. “You're lucky that you're so good at what you do. Otherwise you can be unbelievably dull, Dashie.”

“Stop calling me that!”

“Is that an order, boss?”

Ready to throw down, Rainbow Dash smacked the keg from the table. Lightning Dust’s eyes went wide for a second, but then she grinned as every muscle in her body visibly tensed up. The keg had been empty, but the gesture was what counted for both of them.

Lightning Dust needed to vent after they had arrived too late yesterday and the excitement was already over. Rainbow Dash saw now that she’d given her the perfect excuse to start a good old fashioned hoof-fight as a substitute event. She tensed up as well when Lightning Dust grabbed the table to flip it, ignoring the head of Spitfire that was still resting on top.

“Rainbow Dash!”

And relaxed from a familiar voice calling her.

“Scootaloo?”

The two mares turned their heads in the direction from which the sound had come from, and saw a small orange and fuchsia dot in the distance, which got larger and more defined at an extremely fast rate.

Lightning Dust grudgingly let go of the table. “Scootaloo? What kind of name is that?”

“Don’t mock her! She’s my number one fan, and practically a sister to me!”

Lightning Dust glanced from Rainbow Dash to the running filly with sudden interest, raising an eyebrow as she increased her speed even further to get to their table quicker, seemingly unaffected by the heavy looking package on her back.

“Is that so?”

“I’m her idol,” Rainbow Dash said with a puffed out chest, “she wants to be exactly like me in the future.”

The small glimmer in Lightning Dust’s eyes vanished. “What a waste. There’s already somebody like you, yourself. Why not let her strive to be better than you?”

Scootaloo arrived at the table before Rainbow Dash could ask what she meant by that.

“Hey squirt, you won’t believe what—”

“Sorry Rainbow Dash, I’m already late as it is. Here’s the Daring Do book you gave me to read.”

The thick book hit the table and Rainbow Dash blinked twice, having lost her train of thought from being interrupted by Scootaloo. She pulled herself out of it just in in time to look at her retreating back.

“Oh yeah,” Lightning Dust said smugly, nudging the book on the table with her hoof, “I can feel the love and admiration from here. What do you say old timer?”

Spitfire only groaned, pulling the book towards her and using it as a cushion.

Rainbow Dash bolted from her seat and swooped up Scootaloo with her forelegs, flying back to their table and sitting her down on the fourth seat.

“What’s the hurry? Come on sit down with us, we haven’t really talked in a while.”

“When was the last time?”

That put Rainbow Dash on the spot. After some thought she realized that they never had a simple talk about things in the past. When they talked, it was usually about how awesome she is and what shenanigans the crusaders had been in recently.

Seeing her absentminded look, Scootaloo took the initiative. “Look another time maybe, I’m currently returning all the things I lent from ponies, which is a lot because I don’t own much myself.”

“Why?”

“I’m moving out from the orphanage in a few weeks and wanted to return everything before that.”

“Orphanage?”

Scootaloo’s eyes twitched slightly. “That’s where I live. I don’t have parents or related family.”

“You never told me that.”

“You never cared enough to ask, I guess.”

Her retort hurt in Rainbow’s chest. There had been no sadness or disappointment in Scootaloo’s voice as she said that. It sounded like she was stating a simple fact, and Rainbow Dash didn’t like it. She also didn’t like the sudden laughter from Lightning Dust from behind that made her turn around.

“What’s so goddamn funny?”

Lightning Dust, fully unimpressed by Rainbow’s anger, wiped the tears from her eyes and answered. “I’ve never heard of a good sister that didn’t know her sibling had no parents. That’s an oxymoron if I ever heard one. You two are entertaining as hell!”

Suppressing the urge to deck Lightning Dust in the face, Rainbow Dash forced herself to calm down and turned back to Scootaloo.

“Where are you moving to? I want to visit you.”

“Detrot.”

That got the attention of everyone around the table. Spitfire was now wide awake and sat upright on her seat, while some of the customers at the surrounding tables started to murmur.

Lightning Dust whistled. “You’ve got guts kid. That city is a criminal-infested dump.”

She was right about that. Rainbow Dash couldn’t think of many other places she disliked more than this city. A city with high crime rates and unemployment, mostly governed by corrupt officials and large companies with little to no influence by the princesses. Most visitors from other nations see Equestria as the jewel of the world, but Detrot is the one city where harmony is told to piss off.

A tough city, that made tough ponies.

Scootaloo glanced over to Lightning Dust to address her. “I heard that too, but their hoofball team is one of the best in Equestria.”

“What does that have to do with you being adopted?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I’m not getting a real family in the traditional sense. The Detrot Busters have an aid programme for young players and want me to join it. They have special living quarters for their staff, and as long as I play for them I get to stay.”

Spitfire and Lightning Dust snorted at the words “aid programme” and Rainbow Dash knew exactly why. The Detrot Busters were without a shadow of a doubt the best hoofball team out here, but that came only to fruition through brutal natural selection.

Either you get good or you’re tossed aside.

“Think about this Scootaloo, do you really want to be adopted by someone who only does it to benefit from your talent?”

Scootaloo didn’t hesitate for a second. “If my only other choice is nobody, then yeah. I’ll take my chances.”

The uncomfortable feeling returned with a vengeance to Rainbow’s chest, while the corners of Lightning Dust’s mouth started to rise slowly as Scootaloo continued.

“For a long time, I thought that eventually somepony would come for me and give me a real home. If I was patient enough, I would get a real loving mother who would show me how to be a proper mare, and a dad that would teach me how to fly with these tiny wings of mine.

“Staring at that closed door and waiting for it to open, day after day, was my whole reason to get up in the morning until I met Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.

“That hoofball game was one of the happiest moments in my life and opened my eyes to reality. I’m done with waiting for something good to happen. Screw the door and screw everyone not opening it for me up to this point! If it won’t open, I’ll kick it down myself; smash it into splinters!”

And yet again, Rainbow Dash couldn’t hear any sadness or disappointment in her voice, just acceptance and determination for the cards life had dealt the little filly. It was simultaneously heartwrenching and awe-inspiring to look at.

“Congratulations to your epiphany kid. It took me way longer to realize how shitty life can be!” Lightning Dust said happily, sporting the glimmer from earlier in her eyes.

The waiter put another large keg of alcoholic cider in front of her. Under the gazes of Scootaloo, Rainbow Dash and Spitfire, she downed the whole thing in one go.

The giddiness of her behaviour didn’t quite match the seriousness of her following words. “Life is no whimsical journey full of rainbows and fairy dust. It’s a brutal infight with one mean son of a bitch, beating the crap out of you with metal-spiked hooves until you drop on the ground and stop moving.”

“Never stop moving!” Lightning Dust said in louder voice, now standing on the table, “Being content with what you got is for failures and wusses!”

She jumped down from it, throwing a few punches in the air. “From the ground is the best position to punch life in the balls as hard as you can. Then drag it kicking and screaming by the mane to have your way with it!”

The two adult mares at the table were horrified at the crudeness of Lightning Dust’s words. That was no way to speak in front of a child, but luckily for them, Scootaloo seemed to be still innocent enough to not know that last phrase.

Her smile indicated that the little filly got the general gist of the speech though.

“I like you. I’m Lightning Dust,” she said, reaching out with her hoof, “remember that name. Once you become a famous athlete, I’ll come to challenge and beat you.”

Scootaloo hesitantly shook the outreached hoof. “Aren’t you a Wonderbolt? I’ll be playing hoofball, so no flying.”

“So? The game doesn’t matter,” Lightning Dust said, letting go of Scootaloo’s hoof to look at her own with interest, “I’ll beat you anyways, but first you’ve got to get good for it to be worth my while.”

“Anyway… I really have to go now. See you guys later!”

Rainbow Dash watched Scootaloo run away with a huge lump in her throat. There would be some serious effort required to patch up their relationship and to become something remotely like a sister to that filly again. She wondered when everything had gone so wrong from those heartfelt moments during the camping trip not long ago.

Lightning Dust stepped beside her with a similar intense stare, but for completely different reasons. “To think that somepony could be like this at that age… gives me goosebumps… and I love it!”

The buck to the face came faster than lightning.

Lightning Dust was barely able to find her bearings from her new position on the floor, before Rainbow Dash pressed her nose firmly against hers.

“Are you insane? You can’t talk like that with a kid, what’s wrong with you?!”

“Good competition is rare and I have to plan for the future, especially with that kind of potential rival to look forward to,” Lightning Dust said, pinching Rainbow Dash’s cheeks, ”but no worries, you’ll always have a special place in my heart Dashie.”

Rainbow shoved her away. “Again with the touching and the nicknames! Keep your hooves to yourself! Do you have the hots for me or something?”

The moment it crossed her lips, Rainbow Dash regretted saying those words. The look on Lightning Dust’s face went thoughtful. She closed her eyes and started to grin like a predator with the occasional giggle strewn in for good measure.

“Haven’t thought about it, but it sounds pretty good in my head,” Lightning Dust cooed, opening her eyes with a hungry glimmer sparkling in them, “you’re quite the looker. Wanna rut later?”

The asked pegasus could only facehoof at that.

A few streets away...

“That mare is weird,” Scootaloo said to herself, walking to the meeting spot which she and Sweetie Belle had agreed upon earlier.

She was hoping that Sweetie Belle had been patient enough to wait for her and was still there. Returning the book had taken more time than planned, mostly because she hasn’t been able stop herself from rambling. In hindsight, Scootaloo felt like the way she told Rainbow Dash about her plans was a bit much.

With Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, she couldn’t and wouldn’t be as blunt.

Timing was everything in her eyes. It wasn’t for a good while until the hoofball season started and she would have to move, so there was still time to have fun with her friends. After that, Scootaloo would tell them and hopefully soften the emotional blow with a well thought out explanation.

“One I currently don’t have…” Scootaloo thought grimly, jogging down the path to Ponyville Center.

Halfway there, Sweetie Belle already came running towards her.

“There you are!”

Sweetie Belle grabbed her without another word and dragged Scootaloo along, but not in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.

“Where are we going? Apple Bloom lives that way!”

“Small change of plans! You won’t believe this! It’s them!”

“What about Apple Bloom and who’s them?”

“It won’t take long to see for yourself. Come on!”

Both fillies ran as fast as they could, or in Scootaloo’s case, as fast as to not leave Sweetie Belle in the dust. A few moments later, they closed in on the northern entrance of town and heard a familiar catchy tune echoing through the streets with some pieces of sung lyrics here and there.

…opportunity in this very community…

“There’s no way that those two would ever show their faces in town again!” Scootaloo thought with wide eyes, glancing back at Sweetie Belle.

...the world famous Flim Flam brothers...

“Ok, that clears up all uncertainty, but what in the world would drive them to come back?”

...Traveling salesponies nonpareil!!...

They turned around a corner and froze at the sight before them. There stood the familiar vehicle from last cider season in the middle of the road. The large train-like machine known as the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 and the two lanky unicorn stallions who named it that were surrounded by a large crowd of ponies, which slowly dispersed because the song was over.

One of the twins with the red moustache they knew as Flam, wore his signature striped vest and strawboater hat, while the other one whose name was Flim had strangely enough only his hat on. Where the vest went was answered, as a door to a hidden cabin inside the machine opened and a familiar orange hoof poked out.

“Although you’re good for nothing vermin most of the time, I simply can’t get enough of this song. Come on sing it again! Start at the chorus and give me your hat, Flim! I feel naked without one!”

The addressed stallion grumbled in annoyance, but tossed his hat at the outstretched hoof who caught it. Soon after, the pony which the hoof belonged to stepped out completely and let the fillies jaw drop.

“Applejack!?” Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle yelled, getting the mare’s attention on top of the vehicle. Both of them weren’t sure if it was really her. She talked like Applejack, had the same cutie mark as Applejack, and definitely had the same smile as Applejack, although it looked much wider than normal.

Everything else was seriously off.

Her trademark stetson hat was nowhere to be found as she wore Flim’s hat and vest instead, the stallion was currently wearing nothing. Her movement had an unusual spring to it, while she shuffled closer to them at the edge of the vehicle with dance-like moves.

“Howdy, you two,” she said, jumping down from it and looking back to yell at the brothers, “come on guys get to work on that hunk of junk, I don’t pay you for nothing!”

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle couldn’t hear what they were mumbling as a response, but both of them were sure it wasn’t anything nice.

“Oh, shush you! You know you love me!”

“Yes, we do…” Flim and Flam said, before sighing loudly and continuing to work on the vehicle.

“Yes, we do whaaaaat?” Applejack replied with a sing-song voice.

“Yes we do, Miss Apple.”

Her eyes turned half lidded in bliss. “Hmm, gives me shivers every time!”

Applejack blushed as she noticed that Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were still staring at her warily. Trying to find something to change the subject, her eyes fell on somepony sitting on a table outside a nearby diner and eating a meager looking sandwich.

Meager was also the word you could use to describe the establishment the table belonged to, which was much less appealing than the one Scootaloo had seen Rainbow Dash at earlier. The large stallion eating the sandwich though, wasn’t for all intents and purposes.

Applejack rubbed her eyes a few times. “Who’s that?”

“Who? The one who looks like a unicorn version of Big Macintosh?” Sweetie Belle asked, following her gaze to the big red stallion and recognizing him, “his name is Crusher, he was with me in the magic competition yesterday. He looks mean, but seems nice enough from what I could tell.”

“What makes you say that?”

“He apologised for having to beat me up… what?” Sweetie Belle said under the deadpan stare of her friend. “What? That was nice! Right Applejack?”

Both fillies turned to get the farm pony’s input and found an empty spot. Meanwhile, Applejack had walked up to the table and looked at the stallion with interest.

“What’s your name big guy?”

Crusher looked up from his sparse meal and eyed Applejack suspiciously. He held his emotionless stare under the bright smile of Applejack shining at him.

“Crusher.”

She said nothing further and started to walk around the sitting stallion, scrutinizing every inch of his body and making him visibly nervous. As the waitress came, Applejack asked for a pen and a piece of paper from her notepad. After drawing for a few moments, she held it in front of her to look at Crusher and covered his cutie mark with it.

“Do you want a job?” Applejack finally said, grumbling the piece of paper and putting a hoof on his foreleg with a wolfish expression.

Crusher looked down as she rubbed over his biceps. “Depends… what kind of job?”

Applejack lifted one his forelegs with two hooves and surveyed the muscles and veins running under his coat with great interest.

“You look like a big and strong stallion, capable of pulling his own weight. Those two are lacking at that part.”

“Hey!” Flim and Flam said in unison, before looking at their spindly legs and grumpily continuing their work on the vehicle.

“Do you need any references or recommendations?”

She sat down on the empty seat opposite of him and thought about Crusher’s question, cupping her chin in both hooves and finally stating the following answer in a serious tone.

“Say ‘eyup’ for me.”

“Eyup?”

Applejack tilted her head and pouted. “Hmm nope, not feeling it… but wait a second!”

Under the stares of Crusher, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and the brothers, Applejack went into the closest clothing store.

“She behaves really weird.” Sweetie Belle said slowly, not leaving her eyes from the storefront.

“You don’t know the half of it kid.” Flim replied, while his brother nodded in approval.

Several minutes later, Applejack came out of the store with a stetson hat that looked almost exactly like her old one. She wordlessly put it on Crusher’s head and hid his horn beneath it. Taking a step back, her eyes sparkled from his new look.

“Now say it again, but this time slower and more pronounced.”

“Eyup...”

“No, deeper and with more feeling!”

“EYUP!”

“DEEEPPPEERR YOU PANSY!”

That pushed him over the edge.

“EEEEYUUUUP!” Crusher yelled in a volume, which made quite a lot of the townponies turn their heads or open windows.

Applejack just stared entranced at him with big glossy eyes, flushed cheeks and ringing ears. Crusher looked really uncomfortable as a little strain of drool flowed out of her mouth.

“Say that you love me…”

Crusher took a step back from the staring mare. “Beg your pardon?”

Flam sighed and took a small pebble with his magic. After taking aim under the watchful gazes of the two fillies, he shoot it with high velocity against Applejack’s flank that produced a meaty smack and high pitched yelp from her.

“You got the job! Let the brothers show you the ropes,” Applejack said, rubbing her butt before whispering the next part in his ear, “when we’re alone I call you Mac.”

Crusher watched as she strutted to the two fillies with an emphasized sway in her hips and hurried as fast as he could from his table to Flim and Flam.

“Hey guys, what did I just agree to?”

“Congratulations dear friend,” Flim said patting his back as Flam shook Crusher’s hoof, “it seems like you just became Miss Apple’s eyecandy!”

What followed, was a very rapid succession of expressions on Crusher’s face. It changed from shocked, to angry, to thoughtful, and finally after a second good look at Applejack’s retreating flank to a satisfied smile.

“Could be worse. How is the pay?”

Flim answered his question, taking him on the side with his brother. “Well she doesn’t pay us per se. You see in our case it’s more like an allowance...”

The three stallions huddled up under Applejack’s fond gaze and didn’t go unnoticed by Sweetie Belle.

“You seem different Applejack…”

“Yeah, less boring!” Scootaloo blurted out, and got a hard poke in the rib from Sweetie Belle as a result, “I mean…not that you were boring… but in relation to usually… you’re even less boring than before?”

Scootaloo grinned at Sweetie Belle for praise of her brilliant save, who was lying down on the ground to effectively facehoof with both forelegs. Applejack laughed at their routine and ruffled their manes in turn.

“No need to be so tense, I get what you want to say. Things have changed and I try to be less stiff about things.”

Satisfied with her explanation and relieved to have avoided a scolding, Sweetie Belle got up from the floor and joined Scootaloo’s side who currently tried to neaten up her messy mane.

“SHE PAYS HOW MUCH?! FOR THAT KIND OF MONEY SHE CAN CALL ME HUBBY!”

And tumbled back again from the startling yell of Crusher, while Scootaloo had given herself an involuntary mohawk from jerking backward.

Applejack was now fully rolling on the floor, howling and pointing at the two with gusto until she noticed someone missing.

“Where’s Apple Bloom?”

“We’re supposed to meet her at Sweet Apple Acres...” Sweetie Belle said still lying on the ground, pointing in the direction of the orchard, “...where giant black smoke is coming from!”

Everyone present looked in shock at the smoke cloud that had built outside town without anyone noticing. Applejack was the first to recover, tossing the hat on her head back to Flim and jumped on the machine to bark orders.

“Flim! Flam! Get this piece of junk running! Crusher hop on, It seems today is your first workday!”

Author's Note

Next chapter after a somewhat longer break. (Turns out, writing two stories simultaneously is really bad for constant updates >_>)

I hope this chapter was worth the wait.

Proofread by Asop
New Editor: McStuffins (Welcome aboard!)

Viva Las Pegasus Part 1...

One day earlier...

“Is that really what rich ponies do for fun?”

Applejack was seated in front of a large slot machine and pulled the handle for what felt like the hundredth time, letting the barrels spin. She took a sip from her drink while they rotated and looked around the almost empty casino.

This early in the morning was apparently not the best time to gamble in Las Pegasus.

An obnoxious ringing and the sound of climpering coins told Applejack that she’d won again, but her hooves didn’t reach out to collect the bounty from the little container under the machine. There was no reason to do so, because the meager amount didn’t compare to the pile that was already lying under her stool.

That’s what Applejack had been doing all morning since she arrived in Las Pegasus.

Winning.

And even that pile didn’t hold a candle to the money she made earlier at Blackjack. Although, Applejack couldn’t bluff worth a damn, apparently being experienced at spying lies and deceit are equally good qualities when it came to gambling. Capable of reading the dealers like a book, she could always tell if they had something worthwhile or not. Her seat hadn’t even been warm from sitting, and she already got the chips stacked higher than herself on the table.

One hour into the game, the casino staff visibly dreaded the experience of playing with her. They changed dealers every round and the deck of cards after every hand, but nothing kept Applejack from making a fortune.

A second one that is.

Where other ponies would have been ecstatic at their luck, Applejack had only felt disgust which got worse and worse over time. Those plain looking chips were worth more than a year of hard work on her farm and she merely had to sit here and push cards around.

It really had put a damper on her feeling of accomplishment in society and she’d eventually quit in annoyance after another hour of making even more money. The casino staff happily guided her to the slot machines with the promise of free drinks while she played. A service she’d abused brazenly as the empty glasses and mugs piled on under her, littered with the pile of coins.

“Spin the wheel, spin the wheel, make me rich, make me rich… oh what’s the point?!”

Applejack jumped from her stool and carefully treaded towards the exit over the carpet of coins.

“Are you leaving Miss Apple?” a casino employee said hopefully, causing several dealers from the surrounding tables to turn their heads, anxiety written on their faces, “let me call a cab to drive you to your hotel!”

“No need, I’ll walk there. I need to clear my head.”

He opened the door and bowed. “As you wish… please come again.”

“Yeah sure,” Applejack said, not bothering to call the stallion out on his obvious lie as she stepped out on the streets of Las Pegasus.

Which hadn’t been quite what she’d expected.

The stories Applejack had heard about Las Pegasus from other ponies ranged from fantastical to downright ludicrous. Tales of lavish bachelor parties, star-filled shows, and excitement on every corner. She’d had imaginings of how this city was supposed to be, and pretty much all of them had been shattered immediately after her arrival.

First of all, the city wasn’t really nice to look at under close scrutiny. Sure there were the high-rise buildings and novelty establishments that looked like pyramids, palaces, and other places from around the world, but once you got over the facade they were like any other place.

A hayburger in a spinning tower didn’t taste any different than a hayburger from Ponyville Diner, let alone the fact it cost thrice as much as in Ponyville.

The filth was almost impossible to ignore, as were the shadowy figures mingling around in the badly lit back alleys and side streets with vendors selling questionable items or even themselves for god knows what. They just sat there waiting to be picked up and brought into the nearest dark corner, to come back shortly after with their happily smiling customers.

Applejack forced herself to walk faster as she passed a dirty looking mare who literally sat in a box with a cardboard sign that had prices on them, which didn’t surpass the one digit bit range.

As she reached her destination, Applejack’s view of Las Pegasus had significantly changed to “Hell on Equis”.

She wordlessly passed the doorpony of her hotel and stopped at the doorstep with a frown. The “Royal Plaza” was the most expensive hotel in the city and it showed. Twilight had talked about the possibility of portals to completely different worlds before, but if you asked Applejack right now, a simple door could do the trick as well.

It felt surreal that one step was all it took to increase your life’s quality this much.

The unnecessary high ceilings in the gigantic foyer with a spotless marble floor reminded Applejack so much of how the throne room in Canterlot Castle was built. But as a opposed to the current symbol of power in Equestria, this place had no business of having these dimensions in her eyes.

A hotel had the simple task of providing ponies with room to sleep and rest. All this wasted space could have been easily used to house several dozens of ponies more. The rooms themselves were also hugely out of proportion for the numbers of guests they were booked for.

Tubs like swimming pools, single room beds that were big enough for ten ponies, expensive decorations and paintings on every free space, fridges bursting with delicacies she couldn’t even pronounce from places she didn’t know that they existed, the list went on and on.

All pomp for the sake of being pompous, and nothing more.

She held no grudges for the ponies using it, they paid for the conveniences accordingly after all. The excessive luxury just seemed so unnecessary. There was so much from everything, but apparently too much is not enough to sate whatever those ponies craved for.

Ponies with who Applejack shared a common trait now, by having more money than she ever would be able to spend.

These thoughts preoccupied Applejack’s mind as her hooves made loud noises on her way to the lonely reception desk. The sharp dressed unicorn mare behind the reception sat a bit straighter and smiled a lot wider as Applejack crossed the hall.

A smile that looked more fake than a wax apple in a fruit basket.

“Miss Apple, so good to see you again.”

“That’s not what you said to me before you knew I was rich, Miss Booker,” Applejack said with a healthy dose of venom in her voice, “I clearly remember the exact wording you used: I don’t know how you got past the doorpony, but we don’t accommodate your kind of pony here. Try the motels on the other end of town.”

Unfazed by Applejack’s harsh words, she continued with her overly friendly facade. “An unfortunate incident that won’t happen again I assure you, Miss Apple. If there’s something, anything we can do to make your stay at our hotel as enjoyable as possible, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Don’t mind if I do,” Applejack thought with an evil glimmer in her eyes.

“I want imported grapes without seeds from Alpacapulco and freshly pressed date juice on glacial ice. Those grapes should be fed to me by a handsome and well-toned stallion, while three equally handsome stallions give me a full-body massage.”

Miss Booker didn’t bat an eyelash. “Is that all?”

“Uhm… as background music,” Applejack said slowly, stalling for time to come up with something, “I want the Canterlot philharmonic orchestra flown in per airship to play a classical rendition of my favourite country songs.”

“First or second group?”

“Both, I guess…”

The unperturbed mare behind the counter made two small checkmarks on her list, while Applejack tried to get a glimpse from her position if there was really an item like that on there.

She’d beat that stupid piece of paper!

“I want a statue of myself!”

“Made of ice or stone?”

“A private carriage at all times!”

“How many cart ponies?”

“A parade in my honor!”

“From where to where?”

“Gem encrusted… toilet paper!”

“I wouldn’t recommend that, but we have ruby or sapphire versions readily available and others made freshly upon request.”

“Two hundred stallions dressed up as male counterparts of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, dancing around the hotel while singing the gryphonian national anthem backwards and speed up fourfold!”

“Fine. That will take at least two hours though.”

Applejack sank down on the floor in fetal position, forcing Miss Booker to peek over the desk.

“Anything else, Miss Apple?”

“Punch yourself in the face as hard as you can!”

The stoic expression wavered for a bit and the scribbling stopped. “I got you now,” Applejack thought triumphantly, watching her duck behind the desk to undoubtedly flee from her unreasonable request, “let me see you try getting out of this one!”

Her short feeling of victory vanished as Miss Booker reappeared. During her time under there, she’d put on two horseshoes on her forelegs and smashed them together a few times with a metallic clang for good measure.

“With the left or right hoof, Miss Apple?”

“Are you messing with me?” Applejack asked, looking in turns on Miss Booker’s new intimidating hoofwear and her fully reinstated stoic expression.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand. Is something not to your liking?”

Applejack realized grudgingly that she couldn’t win here. “You know what, forget about the whole thing! Just sent somepony to bring me a pitcher of cold apple juice on my suite in half an hour.”

“Pressed out of apples imported from where exactly?”

Her orange hoof fell down on the list with a sounding bang before the floating pen could start to scribble on it again. The immense force produced several cracks in the solid oak desk. “I don’t care! Just apples! Any apples! Surprise me!”

Miss Booker eyed the shaking hoof. “You seem stressed. May I suggest to keep at least the massage in your schedule?”

“Can… can I choose how the masseurs look like?”

“Of course, Miss Apple.”

Half an hour later...

“Your hindlegs are so tense. Dandy, stop on her neck for a moment and work your way down over the spine to meet me at the hips.”

“What should I do, Hot Stuff?”

“Keep working her temples, Hunk. I’ve never seen a mare with so much pent up stress in her muscles!”

“I brought the drinks and grapes, Miss Apple. How much ice should I put into your date juice?”

“Forget the juice, Honey Stud. Just pour me a glass of whiskey from the minibar.”

“Of course, Miss Apple.”

A drink in hoof, lying on a massage table with four good-looking stallions scrambling around to fulfill her every wish, Applejack believed firmly that she couldn’t get closer to heaven without actually dying.

Whenever she could, Applejack cast a glance at certain parts of the four stallions bustling around her. Miss Booker had held true to her word and had provided Applejack with the finest specimens of stallionhood she’d ever seen.

In some areas they even put her brother to shame.

Lucid dreams of having a whole bunch of them running around the orchard filled Applejack’s mind. Taking heart, she decided to put at least a fraction of that dream into action with asking one of them out.

After some consideration she settled for Honey Stud, because he’d been the nicest and most polite of them.

His dreamy butt didn’t hurt either.

Applejack did her best to invoke that inner Rarity of hers, putting a hoof on his leg and trying to imitate the demeanor from the fashionista to a tee. “Maybe we can get to know each other a little bit better later, darling? How about it?”

All four of them looked up from their work in surprise, but the most surprised was Applejack herself. She had sounded almost unrecognizable, even to her own ears. It was scary how easy that ‘darling’ had rolled of the tongue.

Hot Stuff was the first to recover. “Uh, Hunk and Dandy do these kinds of services. What’s your payment rate again, Hunk?”

The addressed stallion recited from memory, continuing to massage her temples. “Sixty bits for the standard ten minutes, ninety for the complete pleasure package, and two-hundred for the ‘knee-buckler’.”

“...What?”

“The price doubles or triples if you want a second or third stallion involved, except for the ‘knee-buckler’. We’re willing to give a bulk discount for that.“

“Again, what?!” Applejack said, now wide awake and slightly perturbed as he went on.

“I assure you the price is more than reasonable for what we offer. Shouldn’t you be pleased with our service, a second round can—”

“I’m not paying you for sex, you numbskulls!” She flailed wildly with all four hooves to get them off her. “I wanted to have a nice date with one of you!”

“Oh… “ the four stallions said in unison before Dandy spoke up, “we do that too. Let me get the list to check what the prices are for that. It’s so rare that somepony asks for this.”

Applejack felt as if something slimy was crawling inside her chest. “I think you should go, I’m very exhausted all of a sudden.”

To her dismay, they found something wrong with her request.

“We can’t just leave early! Our equipment is still here and the hotel management will think we didn’t satisfy our customer!”

“I’ll pay four-times the price for your services and everything you brought if you go right now,” Applejack said, grinding her teeth together in frustration.

“Thank you, Miss Apple!”

“Just get out…”

They bowed and hurried to leave as quickly as possible.

Not one of them looked back.

Or paid attention to where they were going. “Look out, you muscleheads! I almost spilled the drink for room thirty-nine! Yeah, ignore me and walk just by you plotholes, don’t bother apologizing!”

She’d heard this voice before.

“The nerve of some…” the voice said as his owner walked through the open door and into sight.

“Flim!?”

Their gazes met across the room as the door fell into frame behind him. In front of her stood indeed one of the lanky unicorn twins she knew from last cider season. Flim read the small sheet of paper in his hoof and froze with his eyes wide in shock.

“You’re Miss Apple? You’re the last pony I would have expected here!”

Applejack, equally shocked, answered with a quip. ”How much more Apples do you know?”

“Quite a lot actually. Your family spreads like weed across all of Equestria. A common joke amongst us salesponies is the notion that you can’t spit without hitting someone related to an Apple.”

Pretty miffed about him talking like that of her family, Applejack’s gaze went on his clothes in search for a retort. “Nice getup. Does your brother wear a matching set?”

Flim took a disdainful glance at his flashy redcap uniform, a bright red travesty with shiny gold buttons and matching hat with a flat top.

“Flam works in the kitchen. They won’t let us work together out of fear we’d scheme something.”

“And you wouldn’t?”

“Point taken. Here’s the apple juice you ordered,” Flim said, putting the pitcher on a table, “how can you even afford a drink here, let alone a room? No offense, but your farm didn’t scream ‘moneybags’ at me when we were there the last time.”

“Well, I’m rich now.”

“Define rich.”

“I’m gold member at this hotel, sugarcube.”

Flim raised an eyebrow. “There aren’t any gold memberships.”

“They made one for me.”

The meaning of her words settled in, as Flam seemed lost in thought, mumbling numbers that sounded like rough estimates of her current worth. “Good for you,” he said curtly, “and I see you already learned to enjoy your newfound wealth. I’m sorry if I’ve interrupted your little get together.”

Applejack followed his gaze and noticed with a blush that he was staring at the massage table.

“For the next time I advise to limit it to three stallions though. Everything beyond that, and it gets super messy unless you're ‘experienced’ enough to handle it if you catch my drift.”

“THEY WERE NOT HERE FOR A BOOTY CALL!”

“Then you chose those stallions because of their flawless personalities?” Flim turned to Applejack to gauge her reaction and visibly recoiled from the face she was making. Contorted beyond recognition with eyes darting around like crazy, he had to get closer to take a better look at her expression. “Is… is that your pokerface? Holy shit, that needs work! You look like you're constipated!”

Blame the alcohol, the stress, or simply her sudden closeness to him, but Applejack couldn’t take it anymore and unleashed the sum of her pent up frustration in another mighty roar.

“I LIKE STALLIONS RIPPED AND HUNKY, OK?! IS THAT SO WRONG?”

With his Ears ringing and spit in his eyes, Flim stood solid like a rock and braced himself for the next verbal salvo. “Day after day, I have to work, eat and sleep with my brother, a stallion with a physique like it was chiseled from stone, with no competition to divert my attention!

“My friend Rarity may go for the sophisticated prince type, but I want someone who is rough and strong. Sadly, every stallion in Ponyville is either woefully out of shape, dressing like a fruitcup, already taken, or too clumsy to bang in a nail straight!”

Flim used a small pause in her rant to intervene. “What about that giant pegasus fella with the battlecry?”

“Bulk Biceps?” Applejack said, staring in the distance with a dopey smile, but then shook her head violently, “Have you ever talked to the guy? He’s more timid than Fluttershy and girly stallions in general make me incredibly uncomfortable.”

She missed the sour expression on Flim’s face as she rambled on. “I hate this city,” Applejack said bitterly, “it’s filled to the brim with greedy and egoistic plotholes who don’t give a damn about anything but themselves!”

“You say that as if it’s bad thing.”

“It is, your moron! I don’t want to become a selfish pony like that!”

“Then don’t, what’s the problem here?” Flim sat down, scratching his head in confusion. “Listen, try to see it this way,“ he said reassuringly, “these young gentlecolts offered something and you paid for it. No ambiguity, no loopholes, just the enjoyment and no need for feeling guilty about it afterwards. They already got what they wanted from you in return.”

He took out a coin from his jacket and flipped it a few times in the air. It landed right on her nose with the last toss, staying balanced on the tip. She let it slip from her face and caught it with the left hoof, examining the shiny currency for a bit before tossing it back to him.

“I would’ve thought especially a mare like you would appreciate the simple honesty in that.”

A sad smile flashed over her face. “Maybe… but even though it was only a misunderstanding, at least one of them could have humored the idea of a little roll in the hay without me having to bust out my wallet.”

“I’m not that ugly, am I?” Applejack asked, her voice wavering a bit.

Flim snorted, and then openly laughed at her offended expression. “That was not the point they were trying to make. I dare you to ask them again in their free time and see how willing they become all of a sudden. Right now they’re on the clock and It’s what they do for a living. You wouldn’t just give out your apples for free, would you?”

“I’ve done that in the past for ponies…”

“And that’s the reason you weren’t rich up until now.”

Her dry chuckle filled the room, but he could see that something was still bothering her. “You’re not hurting anypony with your so called ‘selfishness’, so cheer up and have a little bit of fun,” Flim said standing up and peeking through a small opening in the curtain of the nearest window. “It’s all about perspective in life. I agree that from down there, the streets of Las Pegasus may look pretty shabby.”

The curtain got drawn completely aside to grant her a good view of the Las Pegasus skyline. The sea of mismatched buildings reflected the midday sun with their turned-off neon signs and colored light bulbs, making the whole city sparkle in the sunlight.

It was breathtaking to say at least.

“But if you look at it from the right angle and moment, this dump shines brighter than any other place in the nation, day and night. I love every nook and cranny of this city to bits with it’s endless possibilities to be successful or eaten alive, but never ever boring or stale.”

Applejack huffed loudly and grabbed her glass to gulp it down. Halfway to the mouth she stopped and looked at her reflection in the liquid surface. That look switched rapidly between that reflection and the stallion who was still staring absentmindedly out of the window.

“You didn’t answer me earlier. Flim, am I ugly?”

She could see him flinch as the smile melted from his face. “Would you look at the time!” Flim said quickly, inching away from her and closer to the door, “I would love to stay longer, but I’ve got work to do and places to be.”

His fleeing attempt was obvious from a mile away and Applejack jumped for the door herself. Being the strong pony that she was, she easily reached the door ahead of him. But being as drunk as she was, she miscalculated quite badly how much strength was needed to make the distance and smashed face first into it.

With his escape route blocked, Applejack had plenty of time to get up from the floor and to stare him down while rubbing her aching nose.

“Yu stey hir until yu ansurr meh, Flehm!”

“You’re not my boss, you can’t make me!”

“Oh, yeah?” Applejack said challengingly and walked backwards for the door to keep an eye on Flim. After opening it by giving the door a good buck, she turned her head a bit and yelled down the hall.

“Roomservice!”

“Yes, madam?” A calm voice answered right behind her.

Flim rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. A red unicorn mare with a blond mane had appeared in the middle of the room, wearing a similar uniform as him.

“Buck me, that was fast!” Applejack said baffled, “did you come out of the floor?

“I was always here, Miss Apple.”

“Beg your pardon?”

The mare coughed politely and stood straight to introduce herself. “Serenity at your service. As a special courtesy, all of our important guests have a personal servant with an invisibility spell at their disposal.”

“You were following me the whole time? Even to the bathroom?!”

“Especially the bathroom. I hope the scented toilet paper was to your liking, despite it not being gem encrusted as demanded.”

“The apple smell was a nice touch,” Applejack said, looking at the bathroom door, “but to the get to the point, does this stallion and his brother work here?”

Flim raised a foreleg. “Excuse me. Do we collectively ignore how creepy that was?”

“Yes, they do unfortunately,” the portier mare said in a monotone voice, not engaging in his comment and causing him to shrug, “Mr. Flim and his brother have very high debts to pay back.”

“Then tell Mrs. Booker down at the lobby to put it on my bill.”

Flim’s eyes bulged out from surprise.

“As you wish.” Serenity vanished and reappeared a few moments later. “Done. Flim, you and your brother get lost tomorrow morning.”

And just like that, she was gone again. While Applejack did some wide swipes in the air around the room with her hooves, Flim sat down on his haunches and stared in shock at the empty spot.

“I don’t know what to say…”

“How about the truth about my appearance?” Flim eyed Applejack as if she was crazy. “Your flanks belong to me now, so as your new boss I order you to tell me if I’m attractive or not.”

He sighed and smiled weakly. “Ok, boss. The real truth, or the version with honeyed words?”

“Just answer the question, already!”

Flim took a deep breath with closed eyes and remained like that for several seconds. Applejack was about to call him out again when he opened his eyes, now wearing a completely changed expression.

“Get on your hooves.”

“What?”

The sudden change in his behavior was disturbing. Flim’s eyes had no warmth anymore, a cold and calculating gaze that seemed to bore into the back of Applejack’s skull.

“You wanted an honest opinion, so get up and let me look at you to form one,” Flim said, waiting patiently as she wobbled on her hooves. “Stay straight, your posture is horrible!”

His voice had an enormously sharp edge to it.

The minutes went by with Applejack standing completely still, and Flim circling around her like a wolf mustering his prey from all angles. He even went so far as to lay on his back to crawl under her. The only reason she didn’t buck him in the face, was the completely neutral expression while he did so.

The clock said it had been ten minutes as he stopped, but for Applejack it’d felt like an eternity. Even more worse were the seconds between him finishing and finally opening his mouth to speak.

“Your hips are too wide, your coat isn’t well maintained and your mane is a mess, your hooves are in dire need of a hooficure, and the smell of dirt and grass is ingrained in your skin to the point that no amount of soap or cologne would ever cover it up completely.

“You move sluggish and graceless like a cow, with the matching posture and table manners as I can tell so far. Also, even if it isn’t a direct appearance factor, your accent and lack of eloquence is really aggravating at times.”

Flim paused to gather his thoughts. The silence was maddening for Applejack, who was trying to recover from the salvo of truths that had cut her like swords. She’d wanted honesty, but to have her shortcomings so clearly spelled out had really hurt deep down.

“Now, to the good parts,” Flim said, causing Applejack to lift her head with perked up ears, “although those hips are a bit too wide, they flawlessly blend into a perky and voluptuous butt that has the right amount of jiggle to it.”

His hoof poked her cutie mark firmly as if he actually tried to test the crispness of the depicted apples.

“Your well-toned at the right places. Don’t let them tell you that skinny is the end-all, be-all of things. Every stallion with half a brain would come to the natural conclusion that a bit more muscle and fat means more endurance and spots to grab on during the fun parts of a relationship.”

Applejack did some small hops and stared intently at her own flank, as Flim walked to a dresser and picked up a small mirror. “And though not well maintained, your coat and mane have great colors that mash well. You wouldn’t believe how many mares are born with color combinations that make your eyes hurt.”

He walked back to her, balancing the mirror on his nose. “Grace can be learned with some training as well as eloquence for that matter. Luckily, your voice itself is very strong and melodic which means your singing should be too. That’s another plus in my book.”

“There’s not much equipment here to work with, but let me try something,” Flim said, undoing her hairband and letting her mane fall around her face. She flinched from his touch as he cupped her cheeks and examined her face intently. “I would usually say that freckles are not very sexy, but in combination with the remaining facial attributes and the overall theme of your persona it works to your advantage.”

From the blank look he received in return, Flam got a bit more forthcoming and held the small mirror in front of her nose.

“You’ve got a beautiful face, Applejack.”

The mare with the long flowing mane looking back at her felt almost like a stranger. She’d never put the time or effort in to think about how others might view her as a mare, but now Applejack caught herself consciously searching for the things Flim had said earlier and continued to do so as he did the closing words of his little review.

“So in summary, your body is naturally sexy and just needs some care at the right places, but not too much to maintain that raw charm of yours. If I had to put a label on the whole thing, it would be something like ‘country beauty with a secret wild side’.” Flim put the mirror away, but Applejack continued to stare into the distance as if it was still in front of her face. “Stallions love that kind of mare; a gal they can take with them to visit their parents, but still rocks their world in the guest room bed.”

Applejack sat down in the nearest chair. Her hoof went straight for the bottle to take huge gulps, ignoring the half-empty glass that wouldn’t cut it anymore. Meanwhile, Flim sat down too, sporting now his usual expression again.

“That’s my two bits about you. Satisfied?”

“Yes, very. I just need a moment to let it all sink in.”

And she did.

“Perky and voluptuous butt, beautiful face, naturally sexy, raw charm, country beauty…” Applejack thought, reciting those compliments she’d never heard associated with herself and felt a cozy warmth spreading in her chest.

Until that warmth turned cold in her stomach, and her face went suddenly from glowing red to sickly green. Flim watched as she started to gag and retch and glanced down at the multiple empty bottles on the floor, connecting the dots instantly. He quickly heaved her out of the chair and over his back, trotting to the bathroom without any resistance.

The second he put her down on the cold tiles, Applejack dived for the toilet bowl to unload the first of many torrents under strangled wheezing. Each made him wince in sympathy as he held her mane. “Aim for the walls, the roundness funnels it down and the vomit isn’t splashing back at your face.”

A small nod from her between two particular fierce throw ups, signaled that she had understood him.

“Try to flush ever so often,” Flim said, making circling motions on her back, “It keeps the smell away which otherwise may cause you to get sick again.”

“Can’t… reach.”

“I’ll do it.” Flim pushed the handle with his magic and watched the accumulated result of a whole morning of drinking flushing down the drain. Applejack didn’t look anywhere, with her eyes closed and left cheek resting on the toilet seat.

Something soft and apple-scented wiped her lips clean, followed by the sound of a trash can loudly opening and closing. “It seems the worst is over. I’m gonna carry you back to bed now and I want you to focus on a fixed point on the wall, it’ll keep you from getting dizzy.”

“Why… no magic?”

“Have you ever been carried by magic while you're sick to your stomach?” Flim asked in an amused tone, draping Applejack over his back like a fur coat with her hooves dangling over his sides. “That makes it ten times worse!”

“I’ll try to remember…”

Flim walked slowly to the giant bed, trying to move her as stably and smoothly as possible. Arriving at the bedside, he gently slid Applejack off his back and held one of her forelegs to soften the fall. “Easy now. It’s important that you keep resting on your side and don’t roll on your back to stare at the ceiling, if you don’t want to get sick and choke on your own vomit.”

She grunted weakly as a response, curling up, but still kept a tight grip on his hoof.

“Once you're done with your little nap, we’ll show you how to have real fun in this town, Miss Apple.”

“Sounds good…”

“My offer or the Missus part?”

“Both…” Applejack said drowsily, before her eyes closed completely and her breathing grew calmer. Soon, the death grip on his hoof loosened, allowing him to let go and take a look at the strong imprint that it had left. Strangely enough, as soon as he did that, she began to stir and grabbed around blindly.

Flim raised one eyebrow at the display and put his foreleg back on the mattress, only to be held again seconds later. Her hold on him wasn’t as firm as earlier, but strong enough for Flim to give up on getting free anytime soon. Resigning to his lot, he pulled over a chair and sat down beside Applejack.

“One thousand bottles of beer on the wall, one thousand bottles of beer,” Flim sang quietly to himself, before a disembodied female voice took over.

“...Take one down, pass it around, nine hundred ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall…”

“You got a nice voice, Serenity!”

“Thank you.”

“But that’s still creepy.”

“I know…”

They were halfway into the five-hundreds when Flim heard a commotion from the floor. He wasn’t worried about Applejack waking up from the noise though. His own experience and the rough estimate of liquor she must have consumed told him, that nothing short of a jackhammer to the forehead would manage to rouse her now.

Flim saw his brother appear in the open door, still wearing his kitchen apron and chef’s hat. Flam frantically looked around the room and made eye contact with signs of relief on his face. “Flim? Flim! There you are, brother!” Flam said, shortening the distance with large steps. “What the hell happened? Why did that snooty hag tell me we no longer—”

Flam stopped as he got a good look at the curled up Applejack in the bed.

His eyes went along her slumbering form, to her outstretched hoof, to his brother’s hoof holding her’s, and lastly on Flim himself.

“Oh, no… oh hell no!”

“Ready to meet our new boss?”

“Go buck yourself, Flim!”

“Love you too brother.”

Author's Note

I had fun writing this one.

Still a bit unsure about the generic name for the chapter though, so I'm open for suggestions. >_>

I promise the second part won't take another seven weeks to finish :P

Edited by McStuffins
Proofread by Asop

Viva Las Pegasus Part 2

Later that evening...

Las Pegasus held many secrets.

One of the more well-known, was the myth of a building that was seeked out by many, but only could be found by individuals who were brave enough to explore the corners and alleys offside the noisy main streets. If you passed the right one of those corners, you would eventually come across an illustrious villa that was nestled in by the surrounding high rises made of concrete and neon lights, sticking out like a sore thumb.

A sole relict of times when Las Pegasus was still young and very different from today.

The sign, withered and worn from old age, depicted the silhouette of a mare lying on her back with a long flowing mane and a single hindleg raised into the air. No name sullied that simple picture, because it didn’t need one. Every stallion that ever set hooves into this place would never forget it and would instantly know when someone else talked about it.

On the large black oak doors was a simple piece of paper displayed with two lines written on it in scrawly hoofwriting.

Performing mares every weekday

From 6 pm until we got enough of your drunken asses!

Quite rude, but the ponies of Las Pegasus liked it that way.

Every day, old and not too young met in this cozy establishment to forget their worries and sorrows in the lascivious curves of the performing mares on stage, while resting in comfortable seats with good food and beverages. What money they didn’t throw on stage, they left with the pretty waitresses that were often performers too.

The quality and type of the shows varied from mare to mare, but ultimately every one of them was good enough to be a headline act in any other nightclub in the city.

The one currently on stage was of a completely different caliber with her pristine baby blue coat and sparkling sapphire mane, in addition to long slender legs and matching flank to boast.

There wasn’t a single gesture out of place in her performance, no energy wasted in achieving the perfect execution with every purposeful step. Teasing when the mood cooled down, acting coyly and cute to let the longing boil, and sprinkling in just the right amount of dirtiness to jumpstart their imaginations.

To invoke the wanted emotions in ponies was a complicated art, but the artist on stage was most likely without equal in that regard.

Not everyone was interested in the finer nuances of her performance though.

“Come on baby, shake those hips, make daddy happy!” A stallion from the first row yelled, too heated up and intoxicated to see the brief look of disdain on the dancers face.

In the past, that mare would have ripped the stallions head off for such insolence, but nowadays she learned to constrain herself and concentrate on the positive side of things. As sickening his behaviour was, the spoils out of him were almost three times the amount than any other spectator in the audience.

Which was especially focused on her performance tonight. She could feel any stare and glance, bathing in their attention and indulging in it to the last drop. This was also the reason, that even fully immersed in the admiration of the crowd, the dancing mare immediately noticed the three newcomers walking in.

Especially the one in the middle of those two twins wearing fancy suits. The cowpony herself, had switched her usual attire with a short red dress and pinned-up mane. Regardless, no amount of clothing would have caused this particular dancer to not recognize one of her hated enemies.

She heard bits of their conversation when they passed her stage.

“...For the last time, I’m fine Flim.”

“... Earth ponies, I swear. They all have stomachs like iron kettles...”

The orange mare rolled with her eyes and scanned the room, making eye contact with the performer on stage and causing her to flinch mid-flip on the pole. She managed to save the screw-up into a very wide swing and overhead slide that showed a bit too much for her liking.

“Wow, ladies and gentlecolts, that was the famous Crystal Glamour!”

The crowd naturally didn’t object to her involuntary raunchy finale, going wild under thunderous applause and professions of love. For the performer leaving the stage, it sounded more like mild whispering and white noise. She was too focused on her jumbled thoughts to pay attention to it, and even the otherwise so sweet taste of emotions felt suddenly stale on her tongue.

Chrysalis, former Queen of the changelings, was in full-on panic mode.

Bursting into her dressing room, she locked the door behind her and leaned against it, sliding slowly onto the floor.

“What is an element of harmony doing here? Why now of all times? Do they know I’m here?”

Instinctively, she reached out to her children through the hivemind for help, only to receive silence on the other end.

Just as it had been since the failed invasion.

Ponies had many sayings that changelings needed to learn for blending in and “old habits die hard” was one of them. Talking with her children has been as natural as breathing to Chrysalis, but she realized right then that it had been months since the last time she tried. Not since she’d found out what that silence meant.

A collective silence to convey an unmistakable meaning.

“We have nothing to say to you anymore. You’re a failure, get lost!”

Changelings were only as strong as their weakest link in the hive and they couldn’t afford it to be the one leading them. Being alone was the biggest punishment for a changeling, but after the disastrous failed invasion Chrysalis didn’t think she deserved better.

Now she would again lose something dear to her, because of these meddlesome ponies.

She blinked a few times as the meaning of her current feelings settled in. “I’m sad about losing the chance to wiggle my flank at horny stallions… that’s rock bottom right there.”

Chrysalis blamed this place for being so goddamn welcoming. Every mare working in this club got free lodging on the upper floors, two days free every week to relax, and flexible working hours as long as the girls arranged their shifts accordingly. Combine all this with the notion that her work was also directly providing her with nourishment in addition to an enormous salary, and you could think that this was all too good to be true.

So, understandably, she didn’t believe it at first when her future manager and saviour had approached Chrysalis in an alleyway during her daily hunt for emotions. A shudder ran down her spine as the memories of the days after the failed invasion flooded back into her mind.

The earliest feeling she could remember after being blasted away from the castle was pain and emptiness. Pain from the harsh landing and emptiness from experiencing true solitude for the first time in her life.

Lost and alone, there hadn’t been much power to draw from anymore. A dry queen without a hive wasn’t much better than a drone, barely capable of doing anything.

Truly mimicking a pony like Princess Cadence to the point where it could’ve fool their loved ones did cost time and strength. Time and strength she hadn’t had tumbling through the streets of Las Pegasus and just barely had back in Canterlot, hence her horrible impersonation of the princess and unmasking by Twilight Sparkle.

Her vision had gotten blurrier and blurrier with every passing moment. Dying from emotion starvation had been extinct as a cause of death for many generations amongst changelings, but that danger was now all too real.

It had been then, when she noticed the emotional scent of this city. An amalgamation of so many different emotions, ranging from the highest highs to the lowest lows. The most prominent and dominating emotions came from stallions speaking to certain mares all over the city.

It took very little detective work on her part to find out why that was and how to use it for herself, as she joined the working mares on the streets for her scheme.

Getting a client, guiding him through the longest alley possible and draining him of all the pent up lust on the way until he’d get fed up and demand her service right there and now.

The small time frame, between making the proposition to those weak-minded fools and sliding into an unwatched spot, had barely been enough to let enough emotions develop towards her to feed on. Before anything too risky could happen, she knocked the guys out and dragged them behind a dumpster or hid them under garbage bags until they woke up.

She’d alternated her appearance constantly to avoid getting recognized as a local menace to stallions. The changes had been elaborate at the beginning, completely switching race and skeletal structure. But soon she’d noticed how little her suitors actually cared and just changed colors around to stop wasting energy.

Many wouldn’t even look her in the face before going with her.

Chrysalis had been basically scrounging for scraps at this point and had some pretty close calls when a stallion’s skull had been thicker than suspected. One or two times, she pondered to go all the way and endure it for more emotions per victim, but she never could bring herself to actually do it.

Crownless or not, Chrysalis had still some pride left.

Fast forward to the point in the past, where the manager had found Chrysalis finishing the last touch on her latest victim and spoke to her for the first time.

“You would think after so many assaults on them, that those stallions would quit looking for cheap release in murky alleyways, but instead they just carry less money around to not lose as much.”

After saying that to her, he’d walked right past Chrysalis to take a large garbage bag and put it over a small patch of brown coat still showing through from under the pile. “You missed a spot. Why does such a pretty young mare waste herself for something like this?”

“Not much choice, oldtimer.”

Memories of how he’d turned around with a grin at that nickname flashed before her eyes, what also had granted Chrysalis an opportunity for a better look at him. He’d looked like an ordinary earth pony with a sky blue coat and grey mane that was visibly receding from age, traversed by white streaks. From those clues and the stubbly beard, she would have guessed him around sixty at that time.

His cutie mark was a heart. A simple red heart and nothing else.

“Would you choose otherwise if you could, sugarlips?”

Destiny had decided to take that choice from her, as the stallion under the pile started to stir way earlier than she’d calculated and forced both of them to flee through the labyrinth of small alleys. Out of breath, she’d looked up at their destination and future dwelling place for the first time.

That moment had been the beginning of everything.

Her new home, new job, and new life as the main act ‘Crystal Glamour’.

Against all odds, she’d started to take comfort in her little daily show, sucking gawping stallions dry of their pent up lust for her in now inconceivable quantities from the sheer number of them. Lust was almost as good of an emotion as love with very similar qualities, just a little bit more gooey and sticky to digest while less sating.

A loud knock against the door she was leaning on shattered her recollection of those fond memories.

The earlier panic and despair vanished from her mind as a different emotion established itself with tremendous might.

Anger. Unchained, pure and unadulterated anger at it’s finest.

There was another knock on the door, this time much louder and with more force, but Chrysalis was already on her hooves facing it with a grim determination on her face. If they came for her head, she wouldn’t go out without putting up a fight against those pastel colored douchebags!

“I’m glad that I’ve gotten a healthy meal before this,” Chrysalis thought, aiming her horn at the door and blasting the top half to bits in a fiery explosion of green flame.

“YOU LIKE THAT? THE NEXT MOTHERBUCKERS WHO COME IN HERE GET TO EXPERIENCE THIS PERSONALLY, BEFORE I BITE THEIR NOGGINS OFF BY THE NECK AND CHEW THEIR SKULLS TO PASTE!”

Nothing came.

“COME ON, ARE YOU SCARED NOW? WHO WANTS SOME?!”

Still nothing.

“I haven’t killed them, have I?” thought Chrysalis, slowly approaching the remaining bottom half of the door, “That would have been way to easy!”

She peeked carefully over the door, expecting either to see a smoking corpse or a phalanx of ponies, eager to take her out.

Someone was on the floor, but from the pristine pink mane, clean white coat and big magenta eyes staring up at her like a puppy, Chrysalis deduced that her blast had luckily missed. Not that she usually cared about something like that, though in this instance the relief from missing was palpable.

Chrysalis would have never heard the end of it, if something serious had happened to their little mascot.

“Chrissy?”

“Get in here, Sunny” Chrysalis flung the little mare inside with her magic. “Did someone follow you?”

“You mean somepony.”

“No I don’t. I refuse to accept that as an actual word.” Chrysalis intensified her stare. “Did someone follow you or not?”

“Nopo…*cough*... nobody came with me. The girls know to leave you alone after a show.”

“And you don’t?”

“Sure I do, Chrissy!” Sunny said cheerfully, oblivious to her sarcasm or what Chrysalis was getting at.

The sweetness of that mare made Chrysalis’s teeth hurt, let alone the nervousness she felt for having a pony call you something this close to your real name. “Nicknames are for convenience sake, you know? Chrissy isn't better or shorter than Crystal in that regard."

“I like it though, don't you?”

“I couldn't care less what you call me.”

The sudden brightness of her teeth almost blinded her. “Really, I get to return the favor and give you a name? Everything is fine? Let me think…”

Chrysalis rolled with her eyes. It wasn’t like pony names were that complicated to do. They were always so uninspired and always seem to be built after the same pattern: Adjective plus object or verb plus object, maybe even only the name of a thing if the parents are really lazy.

“Something Armor, Anything Sparkle, and I swear one of the brainwashed bridesmaids was called Lyra with a lyre as cutie mark,” she thought intently, “her parents must have been psychic or something!”

Chrysalis’s own alias “Crystal Glamour” was merely the result of using that logic in a fit of panic when the manager asked her much later. Sunny wasn’t better by any stretch of the imagination, but at least it was only temporary until she remembered her real name.

Sunny had no recollection of her past life.

They’d found her aimlessly walking behind the club a week ago, finally collapsing loudly into the garbage cans from exhaustion. That wasn’t a rarity in this town, but the ponies usually didn’t look the way she did, or have a flank that was barren of any cutie mark.

Also they smelled a lot more.

Chrysalis had been halfway through her usual routine of burying the body under trash, when she’d gotten a good whack on the back of the head from the manager to straighten her out, and an order to carry the poor thing to the next hospital with him.

There she’d learned that the absence of a cutie mark was also not as unheard of as Chrysalis thought. Many ponies with amnesia forgot also their talent and at that point the cutie mark usually vanished as well.

That made a diagnosis easier for the doctors, but they also didn’t seem very invested, or thorough when they brought Sunny into the emergency room. Once woken up, the doctor had barely done more than a small physical check up and a standardised test after looking at her empty flank. Then he gave Chrysalis and her manager a form to sign as witnesses to transfer Sunny into a mental institution until her memories came back on their own.

“Equestrian health care, ladies and gentlecolts. Lock up the sick until they’re not anymore.”

Her manager had done more than just think nasty things. Later, Chrysalis had to fill out a missing report for Sunny with her current occupation at the nightclub and simultaneously paid the bail for the old fart at the police station.

Broken medical equipment was bloody expensive.

He’d promised to compensate her investment by tripling the salary until she got the money back, chipperly guiding their new addition to the team through the streets of Las Pegasus and towards her new home. Sunny had barely talked along the way, but seemed content with the silly antics of the old stallion.

You couldn’t tell if her condition was the reason for that, or if she had been a bit slow in the past. The manager liked that though, saying it reminded him of his third wife.

The introduction to the rest of the girls couldn’t have gone better. Chrysalis merely tolerated Sunny, but they simply adored the shy little ball of white coat and pink mane, showering her with so much affection that Chrysalis contemplated for a while to mimic her for an extra emotional snack.

She decided against it when all of them started sappily sobbing and hugging Sunny after hearing her story from the equally sappy manager.

As first order of business, they’d to find a name to call her. The girls came up with the usual pony crap like “Sweet Cotton” or “Cutie Pie”, but the manager didn’t like a single one of them and strangely enough so did Sunny.

In the end both chose an entry from Chrysalis’s list of all places.

Sunny had been pretty low on her list of suitable names and Chrysalis didn’t know herself how she came up with it, but as time went on she understood more and more why the manager chose this one from all the possible choices.

For now, it was just a real simple way to describe her personality and the top entries like “Airhead” or “Bubble Brain” didn’t make the cut with the manager to her great displeasure.

“What’s a name or title anyway? Mine sure as hell isn’t worth a damn anymore!”

A few days had gone by with nobody close like family or friends claiming her. Chrysalis had a pretty good idea why that was, and from the gloomy expression he’d worn, you could conclude the manager had the same. Las Pegasus was full of those kind of undesirable ponies, but they rarely were such innocent beings like Sunny.

That had encouraged the old coot and the girls even more to make Sunny’s life as comfortable as possible here with astonishing results for her personality. It was like watching a metamorphosis from mute, odd pony to happy-go-lucky sunshine, condensed into a mere few days of development time. On her fourth day she’d been almost unrecognizable as her former self, while she happily ran around the establishment greeting everyone.

Unfortunately, Sunny’s new cheeriness and fondness of the place made her want to be useful as compensation.

The look on everyone’s faces as she proclaimed the wish to go on stage had been priceless for Chrysalis.

Even the manager, who was usually pretty desensitized of feeling doubt, had qualms about letting Sunny perform. Eventually they all had caved in and let her try with the notion that nothing too bad could happen anyways.

Oh boy had they been wrong about that!

Chrysalis had thought she’d be bad, be booed off the stage, and would forget about the experience after some time to cope.

But there was bad, and then there was just abysmal.

Nobody had bothered to exactly tell Sunny what to do, so she’d just turned around, lifted her tail at the audience and stood there for twenty minutes until even the greatest sleazeball started to feel uncomfortable. The second try, now with more instructions beforehand, had been even worse as one of the front row stallions gotten a bit too raunchy and gropey.

Nothing unusual in a nightclub, but the performer on stage usually doesn’t just stand there and take it with an insecure look on her face. That stallion had already fondled Sunny’s butt for two whole songs, before she, the girls, and the manager noticed it and beaten the dirtbag with the nearest fitment.

Chrysalis had been especially fond of the metal pole for that.

After scratching that idea for good and her constant begging to do something, they’d tried to make a waitress out of her next with much approval from the manager.

He’d bought Sunny a custom-made uniform which none of the girls or even Chrysalis could make heads or tails of to this day. It looked like somebody had tried to sew an old-fashioned maid outfit, but realized halfway through that he wanted a cheerleader outfit instead and focused on drastically reducing the fabric amount. The skirt was short to the point of pointlessness, but he insisted on her wearing lacy black stockings to cover her legs, a corset, and even matching panties for some reason.

All had gone well for a while, with customers seemingly more than happy with Sunny and her service, until they decided to examine closer why that was.

She’d misinterpreted what ‘being friendly to the customer’ meant and had almost gotten coaxed into doing services that were definitely not part of the job by the stallions whose tables she waited. That had resulted in more butt-fondling, beating customers with club equipment, and the manager remorsefully burning the outfit behind the nightclub.

Everyone would have understood if she’d quit right then and there, but Sunny desperately wanted to be of use and had settled for cleaning the place in the morning, during day-to-day business, and after closing time. During one of those cleaning shifts, they’d discovered what would be become one of the main attractions of this nightclub.

Like many great discoveries, the place for this one had been the bathroom.

As usual, Chrysalis had sat in a bathroom stall with her butt pressed firmly pressed on the toilet seat to fake a poop with a bored expression on her face. Changelings didn’t need to eat or drink which meant there wasn’t a need to get rid of the waste, but she frequently used the restroom to avoid suspicion and loudly proclaimed that intention to anyone nearby.

The strange looks were a small price to keep her cover.

While she’d sat there counting the tiles in the ceiling, something had entered her ears from the neighbouring bathroom stall under fierce scrubbing noises:

“I am a toilet brush big and white,
put on the cleaner and stroke just right.
Round and round corners, and inner walls so tight,
to bring the cleanliness with all my might.

Lemon scent, lemon scent, is pleasant to the nose,
Filled up in bottles and organized in rows
If something smells bad I’d recommend those,
Hurry up and take em to bring it to a close.

But stop, don’t forget that there is still the floor.
From back to the wall and up to the door.
A little spill does not make you a whore.
Just wipe your mess so it looks like before.

Oh bucket, oh bucket dear to me,
containing my water and soap for free.
Making it possible for all to see
How this splendor came to be!”

Chrysalis had just sat there for minutes listening to Sunny, feeling impressively validated on her theory that ponies could make songs out of anything. Much more interesting though, were the pleasant shivers she’d felt going down her spine the whole song through. This voice made you feel like you were bathing in warm chocolate, lulling you in despite the silly and cringeworthy lyrics.

Turns out that Sunny had songs and full blown musical numbers for every one of her tasks, however minor, to remember the steps and intricacies. Chrysalis didn’t know that there were so many things to consider while cleaning windows or during waste separation that you could fill a complete setlist, but gladly listened to every single one of them.

And the manager did too.

For the last few days they’d established little gigs between the regular performances as intermissions and lots of ponies who wouldn’t usually set a hoof in this place suddenly started coming in droves. They had always more than enough customers, but now a whole new bracket of clientele had opened up. Art lovers, musicians and even some nobles found their way into the nightclub as word spread of the little mare with the angelic voice.

Returning from her deep thoughts, Chrysalis saw that she was still trying to come up with something suitable. How someone so simpleminded could harbor such a gift was a mystery to her.

“What do you want Sunny?”

She looked at Chrysalis with a frown. “Want? Oh right, here look!”

Sunny’s head was now only a few inches away from her face. Chrysalis squinted both eyes to focus on what Sunny was pointing at.

“That little bump on your forehead?”

“It’s not little! It’s huge and ugly!” Sunny said with a piercing squeal in her voice, making Chrysalis flinch from the unpleasant sound.

“You barely notice it. Where did you get that anyway?”

“I don’t know, it was just there when I woke up today,” the more and more hysteric mare said, clinging to her chest to the great dismay of Chrysalis, “It won’t go away, even with ice. Please do something, they’re all gonna laugh at me!”

The cocktail of emotions boiling inside of Chrysalis was hard to describe. It felt like a potent mix of three parts annoyance, two parts anger, one part boredom, and twelve parts amusement. The overwhelming amusement came from the sight of Sunny, being panicky like a little foal with zits on picture day at school.

For a second she toyed with the idea of pranking her about those insecurities to see Sunny squirm a bit, but decided against it at the last moment. The little mare wasn’t tough enough to handle it, and teasing without resistance was no fun.

“They won’t do that, Sunny,” Chrysalis said, stiffly patting her head and taking a brush to comb Sunny’s mane over the bump, “unlike my audience, yours is coming to hear you sing and not to ogle at your flank.”

“It’s because you’re so pretty, Crystal.”

An especially hard brush stroke made Sunny yelp, stifling anymore words from her mouth. That pungent optimism of hers infuriated Chrysalis to no end. “There, see? Everything’s covered up. Where’s the old perv right now?”

“In his office, doing paper stuff.”

“Thank you. Now get going before your audience gets impatient!” Chrysalis said, punting Sunny through the open door and out of the room, face-first against the wall of the corridor outside with an audible smack.

Sunny pulled her head out of the freshly made hole just in time, to see Chrysalis pass by. “Thanks for the reminder Chrissy...”

On the contrary to mental abuse, Chrysalis had to ungrudgingly admit that Sunny could take a physical beating like a champ and had come just in the nick of time for Chrysalis to vent on. Her thoughts were no longer clouded by panic and worked overtime to decide the next move.

The most obvious was also the most difficult to her. Coincidence or not, her defeaters had gotten dangerously close now, and she wouldn’t take any chances if it came to them. It was of an utmost importance that Chrysalis got some distance between herself and every single one of those particular ponies in the shortest time possible.

She knew that with certainty, but despite that knowledge, every step to accomplishing this goal felt like somebody had filled her legs with lead until she stood before a familiar door. The giant wooden sign was new, made by Sunny with love and care which almost radiated from every letter.

Management: The bestest boss ever!

It looked cartoonish and out of place, hung up skewed so it would fit on the really small door. The room beyond that door matched the door with it’s measurements. This place had dozens of king sized rooms and the manager had chosen one not much bigger than a closet to stay in. While the rest of the villa looked luxurious and classy, this place looked like the rundown office of a clerk. Including the open filing cabinet with lots of folders.

There he sat behind his rickety desk and squeaky chair, reading one of those folders with the glasses he hated for making him look old.

That’s why he took them off as quickly as possible when she came in. “Crystal, what do you think about these two? I’m thinking about paying the bail money for them and offering both a job.”

He shoved Chrysalis the folder with two pictures over the desk to let her take a look at it. Photo number one was an earth pony mare with a light grey coat and dark grey mane, swinging a cello at a posh looking unicorn with a monocle while kicking a royal guard in the head.

“The first one is a cellist from Canterlot with a slight temper when it comes to criticism. Twenty cases of assault against nobles and tendencies for nihilism, but look at her leg when she kicked that royal guard! Thinking about how it would look, firmly wrapped around a dance pole makes me all tingly!”

“What about his one?” Chrysalis asked, confused about what was happening in that picture. The mare, also an earth pony with light blue coat and bluish gray mane, was leashed on that picture and busy biting a police officer right in the cutie mark.

“Freshly out of the looney bin from Ponyville and arrested for publicly urinating on a fire hydrant. Still has some kinks left over from when she thought about herself as a dog. Flexible as hell from moving around with a straitjacket all day and almost no feelings of shame, which is desirable in this line of work.”

As many times before, Chrysalis was speechless. This pony managed regularly to walk the fine line between saint and sinner without her being able to tell on which side he currently leaned on. Those two mares would get help from him no question, but they would have to at least work off what they owed and make a lot of money for the manager through showcasing themselves around strangers.

After that, the monthly payment would usually get ridiculously good and most mares chose to stay after seeing the other benefits, despite having the opportunity to leave anytime they want.

An ever growing family of eccentrics and misfits, she’d been happy to be a part of.

For a long time she’d wondered how a bipolar stallion like him would taste, but she couldn’t allow herself to do so. Unknowingly or not, that old coot had saved her from a dreary fate in the streets and pride didn’t allow Chrysalis to directly profit off him in addition. An act like that would be a confession of weakness and insult to her reputation as a predator.

“So, what do you say about those two dames? Pretty good, huh?”

A smirk appeared on her face. “I say, you have a talent for finding mares with issues.”

“I’ve got you, don’t I? Besides, they’re all like daughters to me.”

Chrysalis sat down on his desk with crossed hindlegs. “One slimy kind of parent, making money from letting his little girls shake their hips at strangers.”

“In my twenty years of running this place, I haven’t met a mare with as much sass as yourself and the talent to back it up,” he said with a good view of her perfect rump on the table, “If I were thirty years younger, I’d happily make you my…. uh… sixth wife!”

“And if you weren’t such an old ghoul and hadn’t had to think so hard about my position, I might have said yes and let you rut me right here on this desk.”

A few seconds of silence passed before they both broke out laughing, long and loud while banging their hooves on his desk and gasping for air until Chrysalis actually fell down from it, now staring at the ceiling with rosy cheeks.

It felt good to fool around with the old fart.

She would miss it in the future.

“I need to talk to you about something.”

“Oh, I know that tone,” he said, wiping a tear from his left eye with a chuckle, “that’s exactly how my second wife said those words before running away with the milk man.”

“Man?”

“Slip of the tongue.” He coughed into his hoof. “I meant mare.”

Chrysalis studied his stone-faced expression warily. “Sure…, but you’re right. I’ve got to leave the city and wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”

He looked at her as if she’d grown a second head. “Wow, that must be something all right for you to be so nice and civil.”

“We’ve all got our baggage to carry around.”

“Isn’t that true.” The old stallion stood up and walked around his desk to give her a hug. “Regardless, think nothing of it, as I made quite the profit with your sweet rump. I hope you can solve whatever mess you’re in, and remember there’s always a place for you here.”

“I won’t be coming back...” Chrysalis said with a voice that sounded more husky than she’d wanted it to be.

“Doesn’t make my statement any less true, sweetums.”

Chrysalis let go and turned to leave the place she had called home for the last few months, but stopped in front of the door, visibly at odds with herself.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything you want. What is it?”

“What is your real name?” Chrysalis asked, turning back to look at him, “everyone just calls you ‘manager’, but that can’t possibly be the name your parents gave you, or is it?”

He smirked at her. “Why not? Ponies aren’t really creative when it comes to names, or words for that matter.”

“My point exactly!” Chrysalis said triumphantly, hopping from one hoof to another in euphoria, “finally someone who notices how completely…”

A new silence that was awkward this time ensued, accompanied by an even more wary stare at the unfazed stallion who was looking back at her.

“Peter Andrews. But you can call me Pete.”

Chrysalis repeated his name in her head a few times before saying it out loud. “Pete… That sounds really weird for a pony.”

“I guess it would be.”

Chrysalis went for his door. “Well then… Pete, goodbye.”

“Take care, Chrissy.”

Meanwhile at the club room...

“I’m still not sure about these clothes Flim,” Applejack said, tugging at the red dinner dress she was wearing. “This dress has barely enough fabric to be called as such and I feel more naked wearing it than with no clothes at all!”

Flim waved it off. “Nonsense, did you see how the bouncer ogled at you? Every little detail on this ensemble is picked to maximize and emphasize your positive body traits, diminishing and concealing the bad ones.”

“Like my huge butt?”

“Your butt is perfect and sexy,” Flim said nonchalantly as he took a glance at the drink menu, “It was your hips that need work, and yes something like that among other things.”

“My mistake…”

“Like your mane, on which I slaved away to create a suitable hairstyle. So don’t touch it too much!” Applejack narrowed her eyes and defiantly poked right through the intricate hairdo, causing Flim to intensely glare back. “Jokes on you, that means another round of hairstyling later.”

She growled like a dog in response and Flam got up quickly to flee the ensuing confrontation. “I’ll get us some drinks. Miss Apple, what do you want?”

“Apple Cider in a mug.”

Flim wrinkled his nose. “Miss Apple will get a Martini, Flam.”

“No, I said Apple cider!”

“And I say, that I spent valuable time on that make-up of yours and won’t have it ruined by you slobbering foam all over it, Applejack!”

“I do not slobber!” Applejack yelled back indignantly, “and that’s Miss Apple to you, if you would care to remember!”

“Then act like one!”

Flam noticed in the meantime, how many ponies in the nightclub had taken interest in what was happening at their table and had started to whisper and point at them. Even Sunny on stage stared at them, droning off and not really paying attention to which part of her final song about furniture polish she currently was.

“How about a compromise, you two? An appletini maybe, I mean it’s classy and has apples in it.”

Applejack’s eyes turned to slits, but leaned back into her seat with crossed forelegs to signal her approval. Flim clicked with his tongue and relented as well. “Fine, but I’ll get the drinks and check if they use any substances that would mess with her lipstick. That shade is very sensitive you know.”

Once he was on his way to the bar, Applejack imitated his clicking a few times, visibly agitated from her grouchy expression. “What a fruitcup! Is he always like that or can you switch that sissiness off somehow?”

She didn’t expect to get an agreement from his brother, but Applejack was completely unprepared to suddenly have his moustache pressed against her nose while being stared down by him.

“Miss Apple, let me get something straight before we continue this any further. My brother and I are many things that ponies consider wrong. We’re cheaters, liars, cowards, and on occasion thieves. He has, like me, many vices and things to be ashamed of.

“I’m giving you the benefit of doubt, that you meant something different than I think. Otherwise, I would have to call you something very rude and reach over this table to seriously mess up your make-up, only to be broken in half like a twig by you as retaliation.”

Applejack stared at him blankly. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I’m glad that’s out of the way then, before we start our employment. To answer your question...yes, he always liked to express himself in creative ways. All of our songs, outfits and shows are made by him, because I couldn’t do something like that to save my life.

“I remember one particular time when we played firefighter as colts. I built a fire wagon from a neighbor's cart, red paint, and an old pump we found in a dumpster. He on the other hoof didn’t want to get his hooves dirty and stayed with mom inside for hours while I tried to make something halfway decent out of this junk.

“At sundown I got fed up and got inside to give him a piece of my mind for letting me do all the work alone and found him hunched over mom’s sewing machine making this.”

Flam pulled out an old and worn photograph from seemingly nowhere and showed it to Applejack. She could see two colts who must have been Flim and Flam in their youth, sitting in a botchy wagon while hosing down a screaming group of mares. Both of them wore crudely stitched jackets and hats, vaguely similar to actual firefighter wear.

“How did you make this photo when both of your were occupied doing this?”

He looked at her confused, before his glass lifted up from the table in a yellow aura.

“Magic, what else?”

Applejack frowned at her own denseness. “Of course, how stupid of me. Anyway, what did you do then?”

“I told him it looked like something a mare would wear and laughed at him.”

“What did he do?”

“He bit me in the nose.”

“He bit you,” Applejack repeated in a deadpan voice.

“Flim fights like a mare.”

She looked again at the photograph. “Sounds like you had fun.”

“Better times, Miss Apple.”

“I didn’t get that impression from him when we met the last time in Ponyville.”

Flam sighed. “That was purely business. It’s all about selling our product to ponies, and we learned that many of our customers wouldn’t buy stuff from a stallion who’s, and I quote yourself, ‘a fruitcup’.”

Applejack’s eyes got wide, as the realization sunk in for why Flam had reacted that way to her statement earlier. “Hold your horses there, fella! Did you indirectly call me a bigot?” She stood up from her seat and leaned over the table to get in his face. “Because I’m not! Granny raised no fool, you know?”

“I guess so… otherwise you’d have known earlier what I’m talking about and reacted much stronger. Sometimes I forget how snugly isolated Ponyville is from the influence of the remaining world. We’ve encountered some really close-minded folk in the past.”

“Was it really that bad?”

“Let’s say, Ponyville had at least the decency to wait until after we finished our song to run us out of town, and didn’t use heavy farm equipment for it,” Flim said with a heavy tiredness in his voice, “It’s just so stupid, you know? Ponies should hate my brother because he’s a two-timing, lying, good for nothing piece of shit, not because something he’s got no influence over.”

That hit close to home for Applejack in many ways. “He’s… It’s just weird for me to see a stallion acting so effeminate, but I’m not judging!” Applejack said hastily to disperse any misunderstandings, “I mean, who am I to talk about how mares and stallions should act like? I’m behaving more masculine than most guys ever hope to be.”

“Honesty indeed,” Flam said with a smile and focused on something behind her. “Now look to your left and learn another thing about my brother.”

She did, just in time to hear the sound of wood hitting wood and to look at a large keg full of foaming apple cider. Flim didn’t address or mention it and just took the drink card to hide his face behind the piece of paper as if he was looking for a beverage, despite having a drink already in front of him.

That small gesture somewhat moved her. “What happened to me ruining my makeup?”

“Nothing, I figured that’s gonna happen anyway,” Flim said, putting the card aside and an ornate box on the table, “so I might as well let you have your fun and use this little baby to freshen you up once your finished.” Flim didn’t miss the eyeroll and quiet groan from his brother. “Don’t you roll your eyes at me! Mom used to work wonders with this kit and showed me everything there is to know for using it properly.”

“That’s why dad always said he had two princesses at home when he got drunk.”

Flim froze as he seemingly realized how much he’d revealed about himself up until now. The little box started to tremble in his shaking hooves, but Flam reassured him quickly. “Relax brother. We had a little chat about your lifestyle and she’s seemingly is okay with it.”

“Are you sure, that Miss Apple isn’t ‘uncomfortable’ around a girly stallion like me?”

It was amazing to Applejack how the same words in another context or place suddenly sounded like the worst thing you could say to someone. She’d pretty much told Flim earlier to his face, that there’s something wrong with him for being like he was.

Screw money, apparently she didn’t need it to be horrible. Unintentional or not.

“There’s nothing wrong about doing the stuff you love, sugarcube.”

The scene was touching and heartwarming to look at, soon accompanied by mares around them who had watched aww’ing and squealing. Everything had resolved neatly and tidily with accepting Applejack’s apology as the only thing left to do for Flim.

“I still like pussy, though.”

And the mood in the room did a complete one-eighty.

“...In case you were wondering.”

Applejack just stared with an dumbfounded expression on her face, Flam buried his face in his forelegs, and Flim just sat there as he waited for any reaction with a big shit-eating grin on his face. Flam noticed the murmur around them getting louder. Several mares even had stood up in outrage, closing in on their table with a now very nervous Flam.

He was ready to bolt with his brother, but Flim still didn’t budge one inch from his position. Next thing you know, Applejack had an equally big and toothy grin as Flim.

“Your not my type, loverboy,” she said in a mocking tone, before turning to the bystanding mares around them, “get back in your seats ladies. Never heard any profanity in a nightclub?”

Flim seemed unfazed. “I know what your type is, that’s why we’re here today.”

Applejack became aware of something as the mares around them sat down again at their tables. A few moments ago, the ratio of mares to stallions had been almost completely in favour of the latter. Now, barely a few minutes after the really talented songstress had finished her set and left, that ratio had almost completely tipped on the other end of the spectrum.

You had to really look to see a stallion in the sea of mares sitting and standing around.

“What’s going on here?”

“Just wait…” Flim said, before the background music stopped and the announcer took the stage.

“We believe in equal opportunity for everypony, so let’s start our special program for your lovely ladies without further ado.”

The joyful howling and squealing from the mares in the club got louder, as did Flam’s groaning behind his hooves.

“We introduce to your entertainment, back for the first time in Las Pegasus since their great world tour, the amazing Cloppendale Stallions!”

Applejack’s jaw dropped down on the table.

The mares and the few remaining males went completely bonkers for the row of strutting stallions coming in through the entrance. Every type of pony and color was somehow represented in that large group, but the bow ties and shirt cuffs they were all wearing showcased their shared affiliation.

That and the trait of having bodies that were cut like statues.

Applejack had seen their posters enough times to instantly recognize some of her favourites in the group. She owned many of those posters herself, neatly rolled up under her bed to sweeten the one or other night on demand under the light of a lantern.

“You wanted ripped and hunky, you get ripped and hunky,” Flim said smugly, “hey look, it seems like they are searching for volunteers to oil them up for the show.”

That was the cue for Applejack’s eyes to start twitching, combined with intense shaking and gnawing on her own hoof under muffled squeals of joy. The thought of bragging about this to Rarity made her smile like a cheshire cat.

Flim leaned over to whisper in her ear. “We’ve got two hours before Jolly Cash’s concert starts.”

“Did you say Jolly Cash?”she asked with a breathy voice, “as in ‘the mare in black’, ‘I trot the line’, Jolly ‘Foalson Prison Blues’ Cash?”

“The one and only.”

Flim and Flam learned quite a few things at that moment. They didn’t know somebody could look this happy or that a hug could be used as a torture method, as both of them struggled for every bit of air they could get through Applejack’s sudden vice embrace.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Applejack said under the noise of cracking ribs and bones.

“All… in a days work, Miss Apple… am I right Flam?”

“Can’t... feel my legs…”

Applejack dropped the brothers unceremoniously on their hindquarters and ruffled both of their manes with unconcealed affection born from euphoria, before she literally bolted from her seat and straight into the row of stallions like an orange bowling ball into extremely handsome pins with a resounding howl.

After he’d checked himself firmly for broken bones, Flam spun around to his brother when he was sure that Applejack was out of earshot. “Now tell me, what is the big idea of working for that poor country pumpkin?”

“You need to update your information, brother,” Flim said, stretching his neck with an audible plop, “that pumpkin transformed into a beautiful carriage for us to ride into the sunset.” Flam blinked two times and made a confused face, matching to Flim’s sudden frown. “Ok, That analogy was a bit off... But the basic premise remains the same!”

“What premise, Flim? Speak equestrian for Celestia’s sake!”

“Take a look at how happy she is brother.”

Both glanced at their new boss from their table, who was currently fighting with three other mares over the oil bottle. In spite of the intensity and vehemence of her brawling, Applejack was laughing and howling like a madmare between punches and ripping of hair.

“Kinda hot, so what?”

“Like always, you lack the sense for opportunity. Watch and learn,” Flim said, before yelling across the whole club to get Applejack’s attention, “Hey, Miss Apple! Could we get the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 back later from the pawn shop?”

Applejack had only one hoof free, using the three remaining to hold an exceptionally hunky stallion in place and applying a generous coat of oil with the bottle between her teeth. That free hoof just waved at Flim’s general direction without looking.

“Surr whutevrr!” she said, spitting out the bottle and rubbing now with all four hooves, ”I always wanted to own that thing, and it’s perfect for getting back to Ponyville… stop squealing like a filly and roll over big guy, there’s still some parts I’ve missed!”

Flam shared a knowing smile with his brother, before they both winced at the sound of a whimper which seemed way too high-pitched for any pony with an adam's apple.

“Why is it always the quiet and plain ones that have the biggest screw loose?”

Author's Note

Edited by McStuffins.

Next chapter and last part of the flashback.

From now on, we're back in Ponyville with you-know-who:

Pony Princess Tea Party...

Ponyville Present time...

Luna stood in the middle of the Ponyville Main Street and watched from afar as the last remaining smoke clouds over Sweet Apple Acres were blown out of the sky.

“They got that fire under control real quick.”

The pegasi from the local weather team had done an excellent job in putting out the flames and confining the damage mostly away from town.

“It’s Ponyville, Luna. The ponies here are used to catastrophes by now.”

She glanced back at her chipper passenger and raised an eyebrow. When they’d first noticed the black smoke, Frank had been hellbent on getting there as fast as possible while plowing through the crowd like a bulldozer. However, to Luna’s confusion, once a weather pony at the entrance told them that nobody got hurt; he simply had turned around with a smile to go back into town without talking to anyone from the Apple family.

The novelty of pulling the fuzzy alicorn around in that wagon had worn off pretty quickly after that. Now back in the seat and in immensely good spirits, he’d done everything in his might to make it more comfortable by constantly switching sitting positions. The current one definitely looked cozy from the way his body practically melted into the cushion, but also didn’t give much room for imagination with everything on full display.

She snapped when he started to clap the hooves of his hindlegs together to the rhythm of “We will rock you” between full-blown spread-eagles.

“For the love of sun and moon, stop flaunting yourself and sit properly!”

Frank complied grudgingly, although he didn’t get what the big deal was. Equestrian decency confused him to no end in that regard. Sometimes ponies wore clothes and sometimes they don’t. A saddle was sometimes just a saddle, but other times the raunchiest piece of clothing you could wear. Wearing no clothes was completely acceptable, unless you give somebody a free look behind your tail.

And even then, only in certain cases.

Frank looked up in the sky and frowned at the pegasi passing by at a low altitude. “What about them? None of those ponies bother to cover up while they zoom around town. We’re surrounded at all times by indecency.”

Luna huffed in annoyance and also glanced upwards, watching several flying ponies with a bored expression. Which turned pretty fast into a look of horror when she became more and more aware or her surroundings. At one point, Luna visibly recoiled from a stallion hovering with his hips on her eye level.

Welcome to the crotch parade.

”Oh god you’re right!” Luna pulled the confused stallion down on his hooves with magic and averted her eyes to the ground, “Everyone is flaunting themselves! I flew before, I’ve flaunted myself!”

Seeing her distress, Frank got out of the wagon and hugged her tightly. “Shhh, it’s ok. The crotches won’t get you.”

“Oh, shut up and let me sulk for a bit.” Luna said, increasing the pressure of the hug, “Any other insights you want to shatter my worldview with?”

“Do you want to hear my theory about unicorn flight through self-levitation?”

Luna chuckled. “No, no I don’t.”

They shared a look of understanding.

“Tia?”

“Yes?”

Her hoof slowly approached Frank’s face, brushing his cheek gently. He shivered under her touch and waited with bated breath for possible things to come. Images of deeds ran rampant in his mind, ranging from innocent to downright blush-inducing.

People often say that things are seldom as good as imagined. This saying held true as Luna removed her hoof from his face, taking a certain object with it to dangle in front of him.

“Where did you get those sunglasses?”

Frank stared at the accursed piece of headwear and smiled nervously. “The magic of friendship?”

Luna’s eye twitched as response. “Care to explain, why you summoned these, despite the fact I clearly told you not to use your magic while you’re recovering?”

At this point, the sensible thing would’ve been to man up and stare the consequences in the face with dignity. “I thought that was more meant as a suggestion than an actual order.”

Sadly for him, he decided to be cute about it.

“We’re gonna have a long and intensive talk about our communication as a couple later.” Luna used her own magic to puff the sunglasses out of existence. “For now, we’ve reached our destination. Is there a special reason for why you wanted to visit the library?”

Yes there was. And a very important one at that. Inside the quaint tree library was someone crucial to his plan and whose confrontation Frank had put off for way too long.

“I thought about spending a bit of time with Twilight to calm the waves between us.”

Luna stopped before her hoof made contact with the door. “Why would that be necessary?”

Frank sighed. “We didn’t split on the best of terms yesterday. You weren’t there to see it and I downplayed the experience a bit this morning, but at the end of day we actively tried to kill each other. That’s why I’m glad you’re with me.”

“Elaborate.”

Frank snuggled closer to Luna. “You can defend me if she tries to kick my ass... please?”

“Why should I do that if you totally deserve it?”

Her coldness upset him a bit, in spite of the fact that she was right. He could agree with having brought this on himself with his shenanigans. Then again, he wasn’t fond of getting obliterated either.

“Because I’m defenseless like a kitten. I would end up as a red stain on the carpet, if she decides to get violent. Pretty please? I’ll do anything you want!” He got extra close to her left ear and breathed the next part with heavy emphasis on every word. “Anything you want…”

They had gotten a bit farther in the last days as a couple, starting to get comfortable with the idea of open intimacy. An innocent kiss here, a little cuddle there, although nothing close to second base. Frank doubted he could even see third base from where they stood right now.

“Stupid sexy Tia…”

Even though Luna seemed not as averse to the idea as he believed she would be.

A thought that warmed his heart. “No word to Twilight about our little financial problem. The poor dear might be very good at snuffing out villains, but otherwise falters too quickly under pressure. I don’t want to stress her into soiling herself like last time.”

“Something she apparently has in common with her mentor.” Luna said smugly, before she asked him a question with a much more insecure tone. “You hold her in really high regards, don’t you?”

Frank blinked a few times, trying to comprehend what she was getting at. Luna should be aware of how much Celestia valued her student. There was no need for her to ask something she already knew the answer of.

Unless...

“Tia… while I was gone… did you ever… with Twilight...?”

That was certainly something Frank could put on his list of things he never expected to be asked. Be it a pony or not. It took some time for him to really appreciate the full meaning behind this question as the implications hit him like a truck. His supposed sister and romantic love interest wanted to know, if he’d had been in an illicit relationship with the mare that was almost like a daughter to the pony whose body he inherited.

That was the ultimate debauchery recipe: I’d like some questionable case of incest with the alleged seduction of an at that point minor on top, and a smudge of adultery sprinkled in for good measure. Frank didn’t know what irked him more, that Luna asked such a thing, or how easily he fit that description in a certain light for someone who wasn’t him.

Two out of three he could’ve debunked right now, if it weren’t for the fact that Frank would have to come out in the open with his true identity and risk a lot more than his image.

A cough from the supposedly closed door made him freeze.

“No she didn’t. I don’t consider myself good marefriend material.”

“Oh thank god, this was getting weird!” Frank thought, taking notice of the two newcomers to their conversation.

Twilight and Rarity.

“You see, Luna? The mare testified for me. No hanky-panky between us here,” Frank said with a winning smile, “for the record, I’m not saying that you are not pretty, Twilight. You would have to beat off suitors with a stick with the right accessories and little touch-ups.”

Rarity nodded vehemently. “I’ve been saying that since I met her!”

The mare in question blushed slightly, evidently not accustomed to be praised in that kind of way.

“Also there is one thing you’re unrivaled in.”

“Magic? Solving Friendship problems? My organization skills?” Twilight asked, unaware of Frank taking a few steps back to gain momentum.

After a run-up and mighty pounce he was upon her. Twilight shrieked as Frank used his head to nudge her over, similar to the way he’d done it the day before. The follow-up was a merciless assault of tickles, rubs, and slobbery belly farts all over that adorable little tummy.

“Luna you have to try this. It’s so soft!” he said, burying his muzzle back into Twilight’s abdomen under her hysteric squeals.

Nobody took note of the slight temperature drop, paired with the darkening of Luna’s facial features while he kept toying with Twilight on the ground.

Frank took an accidental whiff of Twilight’s breath and scrunched his nose from the strong smell. He inched uncomfortably close to her mouth and smelled again, making Luna grind her teeth. After a quick look around, he noticed the uncorked bottle and two half-empty wine glasses on the table. That, and the presence of Rarity rather than anyone else, told him pretty much everything he needed to know about their get together.

The only thing missing was two tubs of ice cream.

Out of courtesy he asked anyway. “Have you been drinking?”

Then something soured his mood. Strong and capable Twilight reduced herself to a kid with slumped shoulders and a tail between her legs. The poor thing looked at him like she expected the worst punishment for her transgression. He didn’t know what kind of treatment she was expecting, but Twilight obviously didn’t anticipate to be picked up and cradled like a little foal in his strong forelegs.

“Awesome! We can be drinking buddies!” Frank took the biggest bottle in reach and shoved the neck of it down her throat. After a few good gulps, she spit out the remaining red fluid in her cheeks in a large fountain.

“Wow, that was at least ten feet! See Luna? That’s how you have fun!”

The wounded look on Luna’s face went unnoticed in the turmoil. “I’m fun…”

“Think of all the new things we can do now,” Frank rejoiced, twirling Twilight around under plane noises “How about a little barbecue on my ship with lots of beer and high quality steaks? I have saved some wonderful beef for such an occasion.”

“Like we had at the restaurant?” Luna asked meekly.

“Even better,” Frank answered without paying much attention to her, fully entranced by giddiness of finding a potential new booze companion, “Nobody beats me when it comes to barbecuing. You gonna love it, Twilight!”

Rarity wondered if Luna’s coat color had gone a few shades darker or if she was just imagining it.

The green hue on Twilight’s face spoke either volumes about her willingness to join him into carnivorous behaviour, a sign of minor alcohol poisoning, or a mixture of both. “You don’t have to eat my lovingly prepared meal. There’s enough booze to entertain your new vice,” Frank cooed and went back to tickling that purple bulge, “who’s got the most adorable little pot belly? You do, yes you do, my faithful little alcoholic!”

Now Rarity definitely could see a difference in Luna. Black wasn’t blue after all.

Twilight looked very disgruntled from being doused in spit wine and getting called a fat drunk. It didn’t take more than a minute though, between the soft swaying and the soothing sensation of rubbing on her tummy before the scowl changed into an expression of bliss.

One of her hindlegs even started twitching and kicking.

Frank looked right when Rarity gasped in shock and something big plopped on the ground besides him. For a second, he wondered who that ebony femme fatale underneath him could be. That was until Frank mentally put the mare in starmetal platemail with matching helmet. The penny dropped with a vengeance as she lolled her body to present her cutie mark.

“Look at that moon… Sweet mother have mercy…”

Nightmare Luna was giving him a hard glare with familiar cat-like eyes which would have worried him, if she hadn’t been simultaneously lying on her back with her belly presented.

“I can’t accept that assessment until you have thoroughly compared hers with mine.”

The sultriness of that voice was mindblowing, short-circuiting his brain into inaction. Her slender forelegs wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer for a nibble on his lower lip. Then Luna pouted with unconcealed jealousy and Frank practically melted inside.

“Obey your mistress, minion.”

Rarity just stared as the supposed ruler and most influential pony of the nation gave bellyrubs to two other princesses, with Luna purring like a housecat and Twilight slowly getting buried under the royal pile.

She ran for a bucket of cold water when the moaning started.

Some time later...

“Pretty good tea.”

“Thank you.”

“Loose leaf?”

“Bag.”

“I see.”

A dripping wet Frank nodded at Twilight and took another sip from his cup, soaking in the awkward tension of his table companions. The unnightmared and equally drenched Luna with her vain effort to hide the embarrassment behind a forced smile, wet Twilight staring apathetic into the distance like a shell-shocked veteran, and bone dry Rarity playing regal while doing her best to ignore everything.

Frank didn’t have such scruples to address the elephant in the room.

“I made out with my sister in your library, Twilight.”

“Yes, you did.”

“With you underneath us.”

“Yes, I was.”

“Are you upset with me?”

Twilight tilted her head to let some water out of the left ear. “Yes, I am.”

“Should we have included you more?”

“Yes… I MEAN NO!”

The cup in Luna’s aura splintered loudly into pieces. Frank, smart enough to see oblivion when he stared into its face, decided to quickly change the subject. “Twilight, listen to me. I’ve got something very important to ask you.”

His sudden seriousness caused the three mares to focus their full attention on him.

“I know the recent days have been strenuous on your body and mind, but I need you to thoroughly think this through before you answer.”

Twilight was on the edge of her seat at this point.

“Do you like parade floats?”

Her mouth opened to answer, but nothing audible came out of Twilight’s throat. She leaned back on her chair with a thoughtful look and took a sip from her tea. A hoof started to draw imaginary shapes and lines on the table under her quiet mumbles. After several minutes she threw her hooves in the air. “I give up! What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Let me rephrase the question,” Frank said to Twilight, who was eagerly waiting for a second chance, “if you had to ride on a parade float down Ponyville, how would it have to be?

Once again her mouth opened without a single word coming out.

She finally managed to press out a quiet question. “How is that of any importance?”

Frank put on a look of mock hurt. “Don’t tell me, you didn’t read my program for the last day? It’s part of a princesses duty to be informed about events in her kingdom. Have you been tardy?”

Twilight was thoroughly unimpressed. “Don’t try to make it sound like you’re actually working these days, Sunbutt.”

Silence reigned supreme in the library. While Luna and Rarity were baffled from this open display of disrespect, Frank couldn’t have been more happy and proud. A week ago, a comment like that would’ve been simply impossible to say for her.

Purple smart was off his luscious teats, figuratively speaking.

Literally speaking, Frank had no idea if he even had those. Luna had nibbled on something earlier though, and he resisted the urge to check immediately as Twilight addressed him further. “I read the program quite thoroughly, but I wonder what ‘Super Princess-powered Fun Time’ means in terms of actual content?”

Frank grinned. “It’s exactly what it says on the paper. My plan is to devote all of my princessy-powers into making the last day as enjoyable as possible for everyone involved and was hoping that you and Luna would help me with that.”

Rarity beamed with enthusiasm. “That sounds delightful. Could I join and help?”

Frank shrugged. “Of course you can.”

“I thought you wanted this to be only for princesses, Tia.”

Usually he loved Luna’s forwardness and uncomplicated way of doing things. This was not one of those times. She had completely crushed the hopes of poor Rarity with a single remark and forced Frank into damage control.

“What Luna meant to say is that I promised you a title, didn’t I?”

All of them looked mystified at him, which was understandable for Luna and Twilight. Former was in Canterlot at the time and the latter had herself barricaded in her bathroom out of embarrassment. Frank had suspected that at least Rarity remembered the generous rounds of presents he’d given out to each of them since then.

He made Rainbow Dash a Wonderbolt at the same day for Pete’s sake!

Comprehension dawned on Rarity’s face. “You don’t mean…”

“As a matter of form, we’ve got to go through the correct procedure. Twilight, give me a spellbook.”

Several tomes levitated in front of Frank in a purple aura. “Which one?”

“Doesn’t really matter,” Frank said and grabbed the first in reach.

They watched him flipping through the pages. “No, no, no… ah this looks good.” Frank showed Rarity the current page with a simple spell for creating a green hat. “Do that, but make it blue.”

Rarity frowned. “Blue is a terrible color for that kind of hat.”

“Then make it red.”

“Red!? For goodness sake, that would be a travesty!”

“Black!”

She drew a sharp breath and raised a hoof to say something, but the agitated look and bared teeth of Frank convinced her otherwise. After a short time of concentration and focusing her magic in a light blue aura on the table, a black version of the hat in the book appeared.

“New magic, check. We’ll be right back.”

A bright flash illuminated the room, temporarily blinding everyone present. When their eyesight returned, Luna and Twilight noticed that they were the only ones remaining. Frank and Rarity had vanished without a trace. Another bright flash followed a few moments later, in which Frank reappeared in the library with Rarity during the last stage of a solo song.

“… For it's time for you to fulfill your destinyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!”

The two princesses that had been left behind, stared with wide open mouths at Rarity and her brand-new pair of wings. In one fluid motion Frank took the tiara from his head and put it on hers. “There, done. How does Princess Rarity sound?”

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?”

Frank ignored Twilight’s outcry and mustered Rarity in her new alicorn form. The golden headpiece was several sizes too big and kept shifting around without her holding it in place. She looked like a kid playing dress-up with that thing, but Frank deduced that the usually so fashion conscious unicorn didn’t mind from the tears of happiness and lip quivering.

Stop. Make that a fashion conscious alicorn with really gorgeous white wings.

A glance to Luna told him that she currently wasn’t watching him, occupied with rubbing the bridge of her nose in frustration. Using the opportunity, Frank scrounged some of his magic power together to complete Rarity’s ensemble with a golden sash and a bouquet of flowers.

”Tell me Miss Rarity, what are you gonna do, now that you are officially a princess?”

Twilight deadpanned. “It can’t possibly be that easy. She would be princess of what exactly?”

Frank responded by petting her head. “Twilight, don’t be a wet blanket and try to feel happy for your friend. The clubhouse is big enough.”

“Yeah!” Rarity said, fondly caressing the expensive headgear she was wearing, before she firmly grabbed Twilight by the neck, “Don’t you dare ruin this for me!”

“She’s got a point, though.”

“No she doesn’t!”

The resounding bang of Rarity’s hoofstomp filled the room. Everyone, including Rarity, stared at the gaping crack in the floor which was essentially one massive piece of carved out oak. The thought that ascending a pony with neurotic tendencies into an alicorn may haven’t been the best idea inhabited Frank. Then again, Celestia had done it with Twilight, and Luna wasn’t the most stable pony either.

Not to mention Frank himself...

Maybe a mental abnormality was mandatory for the job.

He put his hooves on her shoulders to calm Rarity down. “We need a little addendum to make your title sound special and important. A big thing to make you princess of something that anybody can see, or some vague philosophical concept that nobody would dare to question it’s realness.”

“How about ‘Princess of beauty’?” said a voice from below, “It would describe you perfectly Rarity. I didn’t think it was possible, but you look even more stunning than before.”

Twilight rolled with her eyes and Luna giggled from Spike’s adorable attempt to be charming. Frank had other thoughts going through his head as he observed the dragon with a frown.

“When the heck did he enter room? Spike really knows how to be inconspicuous.”

“Those wings are the prettiest I’ve ever seen.”

“But not when he is laying it on a way too thick.”

Rarity gave Spike a peck on the cheek. “Oh Spikey Wikey, always the little charmer.”

“Um, I think the cookies are done!” Spike ran quickly back into the kitchen.The way he moved looked really weird to Frank, but also strangely familiar. Not to mention that the little dragon had just brought the cookies with a tray. Nobody else noticed or cared, so he left it alone and continued his earlier point.

“Finding a title for Twilight was easy. She hasn’t got much else going on in her life other than friendship.”

“I so do! Plenty of things!”

Frank helped himself to some cookies. “What are you complaining about? Luna and I have the much worse deals. I’m the Princess of a giant mass of incandescent gas where hydrogen is built into helium at a temperature of millions of degrees.” He shoved a few more cookies in his mouth, until he got a fierce poke in the side that made him almost choke on them. ”Oh, and Luna governs a grey rock.”

Luna glared at him.

“What?” Frank said with a full mouth, spraying her with cookie crumbs, “It’s a nice rock! We’ve been there! I merely simplified it for Twilight so she can follow.”

Twilight frowned while he frantically wiped the food from Luna’s unamused face. “You’re not helping your case by insulting me.”

“That wasn’t an insult.” Frank tried to get off some chocolate chips, but only rubbed it deeper into the blue coat as brown splotches and got a fierce slap on the hoof. “Believe me, I would talk very differently with you if that was my intention. I’m just teasing a friend for kicks.”

It was right then and there, when he found the perfect way to convince Twilight to help him.

“We are still friends, aren't we?”

She flinched. Twilight considered herself an expert on friendship, and as such she would not be able to resist the urge to apply her expertise on a friendship problem. All the more if she got the golden opportunity to do it with her idol. Frank bit his tongue to get some fake tears rolling. “I mean, I could totally understand if you want to abandon your friendship with me.”

Hook, line and sinker.

“Of course I’m still your friend! Let me get you a handkerchief!”

“You’re a dear, Twilight,” Frank said, barely capable of hiding the grin behind the piece of cloth he got handed out.

She might not be as demure as before, but still was gullible as hell.

A trait which hopefully would be cured next.

For her sake.

“Is that actually your plan?” Luna hissed into Frank’s ear while he kept hiding his face behind the outspread handkerchief, “gaining favour with the masses to soften the outcry and roping Twilight into this without her knowledge?”

“Partly.”

The disapproval was clearly evident on her face. He most likely would have to explain himself thoroughly later.

For now, Luna kept silent and Frank was thankful for that. “It would really mean a lot to me if you’d help me. And It will be a fun time between all the important princesses of Equestria!”

“What about Cadence?” Twilight asked, taking a sip from her tea.

“What about Cadence?” Frank replied, also taking a sip of tea to move it around his mouth like he wanted to get a nasty taste out, “I said ‘important’, didn’t I?”

His reaction didn’t go unheeded with the the other mares on the table as they shared glances. Luna was the one to break the awkward silence. “You dislike our niece?”

“Not particularly, Luna.” Frank swilled the remaining tea around in his cup. “It’s more like complete indifference to her existence. Cadence is just a bland pony to be around and her general appearance really irritates me. Most of all her mane, that looks like from a toy for little foals.”

Twilight started playing with her hair, while Luna tried to see herself in a silver spoon.

“Don’t worry, you two have beautiful designs and colors,” Frank said, defusing the self-conscious looks the two had given themselves, “although you should get different fashion advisers. The dresses we got to Twilight’s coronation were mindbogglingly hideous. I burned mine and never looked back. I kept the giant crown though, because that thing is awesome!”

Rarity heartily agreed. “I have no objections to that! The stitchwork was dreadfully amateurish and the choice of color makes me believe the designer must have sewn them blindfolded!”

Frank thought of something nice. “Would you mind being in charge of the royal wardrobe from now on?”

“That would be lovely, I have so so many ideas! Thank you princess!”

“My pleasure, princess.”

Eyes rolled and faces were hoofed, but Frank didn’t let it bother him as he giggled in unison with Rarity like a schoolgirl.

“Oh god, I forgot how adorable Rarity can be!”

One hour later...

“Oh god, I forgot how boring Rarity can be!”

Spring fashion, summer fashion, fall fashion, winter fashion, in between and catch up season fashion, casual fashion, formal fashion, sorta casual but in the immediate vicinity of being formal fashion, fashion that is focused on looking unintended, fashion to emphasize your effort, and so on ad nauseum.

The flow of words out of this pony’s mouth wouldn’t stop and it drove Frank to the brink of insanity.

“I wonder if I can eat my own face, if I tried hard enough… wait a second… I haven’t heard the phrases ‘haute couture’ and ‘je ne sais quoi’ for a while. Is she finished? And how do these ponies know french anyway? I really could go for a baguette with herbed butter...”

“This festival has been a wonderful time for me, both financially and entertainment-wise. The costume party alone made a fortune in contracts and helped me get a lot of experience in making clothes for different species.”

“...warm and crisp with some bacon sprinkles…”

“The intricate cuts that were needed for a minotaur made my head spin.”

“Her legs look like giant marshmallow rolls.”

“I’m bursting with ideas for the future.”

“I wonder if she’d get mad if took a small nibble on those hooves to make sure. Luna tastes a bit like blueberries after all… “

“At the risk of repeating myself, I really have to thank you, Princess Celestia.”

“Didn’t stop you before from rambling about the same thing for the last hour! And why are you looking at me like that? Oh right, a response!”

“You’re tasty… uh.. welcome. Welcome is what I meant.”

Twilight decided to give her two cents. “Some events and decisions aside, I agree with you. I’m just sad that my B.B.B.F.F. couldn’t come.”

A retching sound echoed through the room. Luna, Twilight and Rarity looked around for the source which appeared to be Frank, but his face and demeanor was completely neutral when their gazes met his.

“Forgive me Twilight, but what is a B.B.B.F.F.?”

There it was again, right after Luna’s question. A vicious noise somewhere between a gurgle and hacking cough, undoubtedly from the largest princess in the room. All three of them were quick enough this time to see the corners of Frank’s mouth going back to their normal position.

“It’s an abbreviation. B.B.B.F.F. stands for Big Brother Best—”

A purple blast hit Frank square in the face.

He didn’t feel any pain from the impact and wanted to blink, but couldn’t regardless of how hard he tried. His whole head was encased in a purple bubble, freezing all motion in the most bizarre grimace of disgust possible. Thankfully he hadn’t flinched, or he’d be blind right now from unmovable eyelids. As it was, he could clearly see Luna’s horn that had barely stopped an inch away from Twilight’s neck.

Frank would’ve gasped with relief if he’d been able to. He’d asked Luna to be his bodyguard earlier and her eagerness moved him deeply, but his little moonflower seemed a bit over-motivated.

“Aha!” Twilight pointed at Frank’s magically frozen face, unaware of how closely she’d avoided impalement. She noticed Luna standing behind her though. “Can I help you, princess?”

Luna narrowed her eyes. “No, I’m good. And as long as you don’t hurt her, so are you.”

“Don’t worry. It’s just a simple binding spell to prove my point,” Twilight responded, feeling an eery tingle running down her spine from the way Luna had said those words. Frank rubbed his cheeks and pressed desperately against his jaw to close it, but it didn’t budge an inch out of the magical grip. He couldn’t even feel the purple hoof that poked his nose. “You just made a face and retched when I mentioned my brother!”

He started a long string of grunts and gurgles.

“Come again?”

Frank unfolded the handkerchief and pointed at the desk with writing material behind Twilight. Understanding his intention, she gave him a quill and an inkwell. Everyone watched him as he used the delicate utensil between his forelegs with awe-inspiring finesse and lots of intricate flourishes. A pony’s hoofwriting, especially one that could do magic, was usually terrible or downright unreadable with very basic shapes.

Frank put the quill aside, mulled over his writing, folded the handkerchief two times, and pushed it over the table to Twilight who took it with reverence before unfolding.

Luna and Rarity came around the table to read the three lines of text over her shoulder:

You’ve got quite the sadistic streak behind that nerdy demeanor.

Unresolved family issues, sexual frustration,

or both?

The sudden purple hooves around his neck weren’t gentle. “YOU WILL TELL ME THIS INSTANT!”

“What did I say earlier about hurting my sister?”

The midnight blue hooves around the neck of Twilight weren’t gentle either, as Luna literally tried to wring the purple out of her face. The three of them built quite the choke train with Frank as the manhandled conductor on the way to Painville.

The magic bubble faded somewhere along the line when Twilight’s face changed from red with anger to blue from lack of oxygen. Frank used the opportunity to croak something, before any of them would find out how immortal they really are.

“I... hate the guy...”

Twilight loosened her grip. “Excuse me?”

It was true that he held a deep affection for the show and it’s characters to the point of unhealthy obsession. That affection didn’t make him overlook certain aspects of the show that irked him though. Some of them, like Discord’s reformation, he got over pretty easily once the story progressed and the Discoshy fanart hit the internet.

He was a sucker for the “Beauty and the Beast” kind of stories.

The jury on Twilight’s ascension was still out in his regard, but what could a pair of wings ultimately change?

Shining Armor on the other hand, was a whole different story. “You heard me. I hate him. With a fiery passion that rivals the sun, I hate him. I would gladly raise the sun earlier in the morning to have more time in the day to hate him.”

Frank never had an ounce of affection for Shining Armor that he could have lost. For all intents and purposes he regarded the stallion as a stupid piece of eye candy, coming out of nowhere and tainting his beloved show. Not even Flash Sentry grinded his gears that much. He’d never seen the movie and the stallion never had appeared in the actual show to this point, as timewise, Frank had landed in Equestria right after season three and didn’t even know about season four.

“Cadence may have a personality that is boring as dirt, but at least she has one. Every time I look at that waste of space, I feel like he robbed me of an experience by blocking sight of something way more interesting just behind him. Something like grass or a decently painted wall.”

Luna pulled his leg. “Tia? I think we get it.”

“Doesn’t help that he’s also incompetent as hell…”

“That’s quite enough, sister.”

“... we might have been better off with Chrysalis taking over. She was smoking hot!”

“THANK YOU TIA!”

Once again those cat eyes drilled into him, making Frank hopelessly lost between being afraid and incredibly turned on.

He stuck a hoof into his mane and pulled out a flask. “I need a drink.”

“No you don’t!” Luna grabbed it from his grasp. “Give me that! The royal mane is not a place for storing beverages!”

“Luna! There’s so much empty space!”

“What else have you put in there?” Luna asked, at first letting her head and then almost her whole body disappear into Frank’s mane.

“Not my wine cellar!”

Frank pulled, shoved, and occasionally copped a feel on her remaining posterior sticking out, but his desperate pleas and efforts to get Luna out of his manespace had little success.

“We’re gonna get rid of all this, Tia. You got a problem.”

“Please, let me keep the minotaur whiskey!”

“All of it. There’s someone in here with me. Tia, who is that?”

“That’s Letrotski. He’s fixing the radiator.” Frank whimpered in defeat and turned his attention to Twilight and Rarity while Luna kept cleaning house in his mane.

What he saw from Twilight disturbed him. Frank instantly recognized something in those eyes and puffed out cheeks. Twilight’s face lit up with malice as her brain had undoubtedly had brought forth something from the deepest pits.

This was the look of a pony who would say something very stupid.

In a last ditch effort, he attempted to soften the blow. “Twilight, think very clearly before you open your mouth now.”

It was already too late. “At least my brother is not a complete retard like another prince I know.”

She had dropped the mother-of-all turds, and this time in verbal form.

All sound from inside his mane stopped.

“Wow, what a plothole.”

“Not helping, Letrotski!”

Twilight’s smugness about shocking Frank vanished quickly, when Luna slowly pulled herself out of his mane with the grimmest expression he’d ever seen on a pony. He knew for certain that Twilight wasn’t aware of Blueblood’s condition, but couldn’t help but wince at her poor choice of words. A sudden realization hit him as the table between them flew across the room in a midnight blue aura.

“HOW DARE YOU?!”

Luna didn’t know that Twilight didn’t know.

The following minutes were kind of a blur to him with how many things happened at the same time:

“LET ME AT HER! I’LL RIP HER UNDESERVED WINGS OUT!”

A lot of screaming.

“COME ON I KICKED YOUR FLANK BEFORE, NIGHTMARE MOON!”

Counter screaming.

“I’LL END YOU, WELP!”

“DOES THAT INCLUDE MY SUPERIOR BELLY, MOONFLANK?”

And petty insults below the belt.

“GRRRRR!!!”

Luckily both of them didn’t use their magic, too eager to rely directly on their appendages to cause bodily harm. You would think that Luna had the natural advantage with being in a completely different weight class, but Twilight managed to make up for her lack of brawn with the fury of an unleashed attack dog.

“SHE BIT ME! THE WITCH BIT ME!”

Complete with snarling and growling like one.

Rarity and Frank managed with difficulty to wedge between those two to separate them. He was currently using the full weight of his glorious posterior to immobilize Luna by sitting on her, while Rarity did something with a similar effect on Twilight through a choke hold from behind.

“Darling, I resent that I have to apply my self-defense training against you, but you’re behaving very unladylike at the moment.” From the way Twilight was wheezing under her grip, Frank assumed that there was a lot of pressure behind those falsely frail looking marshmallow legs, “now be nice, or I’ll have to cut off the blood flow to your head to incapacitate you.”

Twilight growled, apparently unwilling to comply as she tried to gnaw off Rarity’s hoof. The fashionista clicked with her tongue disapprovingly from the slobber on her white coat. “Alternatively, I could powerbomb you face-first into the solid oak floor. My hoof made cracks, but I think your skull might be thick enough to leave a hole.”

“Damn, Rarity is scary!” Frank thought, “forget Applejack, I’m so glad I didn’t do anything to get on her bad side.”

Meanwhile, Luna fruitlessly struggled to get free from under the heavy mass of well-toned flesh and pristine white coat that was Frank’s buttocks, but seized all her efforts when he casually lifted his rump a bit to let it fall back down with force. “I’m impressed Rarity, that hold looks very effective. Who taught you that?”

“A lady needs to know how to defend herself,” Rarity said, turning fully towards Frank and dragging the much more subdued Twilight with her, “when I got to the age where males began to show interest, my father was more than happy to show me some moves from his youth to fend off stallions that get too pushy.”

Frank noticed a blue glow under him from Luna’s horn and flicked it with his hoof to stop her. “I’m sorry about the rude behaviour of my sister and lovely marefriend. Like me, she’s got a soft spot for our little nephew.”

He noticed Rarity’s discomfort by the mention of Blueblood. “I’m sure Twilight didn’t mean to say such ghastly things about Prince Blueblood and I would be honored to meet him again to rectify our differences from the gala.”

“That’s very ‘generous’ of you,” Frank said with an eyebrow wiggle and raised his right foreleg for a hoofbump.

The unimpressed stare he got in return made him lower it again quickly and focus his attention elsewhere. “Luna, I’m going to get up now to see how Spike is doing in the kitchen. Are you ready to be civil about this whole situation?”

“Yur thu un sithing o mah face!”

“Yes or no, dear?”

“Scru yu!”

Frank made himself a bit more comfortable. “You’re living quite dangerous on your current position. I can’t exactly recall what I had to eat yesterday, but I clearly remember lots of beans and hot spice.”

The visible part of Luna’s nose under his butt paled. “Yu wudn’t dure!”

Of course he wouldn’t, but she didn’t know that as he lifted his butt for another bomb. “Couple or not, I’m still your sister and torturing younger siblings is what we do!”

“Alright, alright I give! No more fighting!” Luna said, shoving Frank off.

He helped Luna off the ground and dusted the dirt of her coat with a smile. “See? Isn’t that better?”

“I hate you.”

Luna’s words shouldn’t have fazed him that much. She hadn’t even looked very angry while saying it. Many people have said those kind of things to him in the past and some of them well-deserved at the time. Frank tried teeth-gnashingly to keep the conciliating smile on his face, when on the inside, he was grumbling like a cookie.

“Keep calm Frank. Luna isn’t in the right state of mind and doesn’t know what she’s saying. There’s no way she actually…” His sight got blurry from moisture, this time not self-inflicted. “Holy shit, that hurts like hell! Since when am I so sensitive? Get a grip you pansy!”

He quickly went for the kitchen to get some needed distance between them.

“Wait!”

Luna stumbled on her hooves and hurried after Frank. She catched up at the doorframe, pulling on his tail to stop him. Frank turned around to face her, fully expecting another tongue-lashing, just to have said tongue pushed deeply inside his mouth.

“Love you too,” she said quietly afterwards, biting his lower lip like before. “I expect something as compensation for this.”

The little nip moved Frank out his stupor. “With pleasure... mistress.”

And just like that, all of his worries from earlier were gone. It had only took three little words and a gesture of affection to make Frank’s world right again. With his spirits invigorated and slightly light-headed, he sauntered into the kitchen to do exactly what he’d said for a change: Checking if Spike had something to eat. All that ruckus had awakened his appetite and the cookies from earlier had been decent enough for him to look forward to some cake.

Spike was nowhere to be seen in the room, but all of his baking utensils were still strewn around in the whole area. The only way out of the kitchen was through the door he’d entered from, and Frank hadn’t seen him leave. And even if Spike had managed to leave without him noticing, the small dragon usually wasn’t hard to find when Rarity was around.

So where was he?

“Spike?”

A small whimper came from the cupboard under the sink.

“There you are!” Frank ripped the doors open. “Where were you when my sister and Twilight almost bashed each other’s skulls in? You squandered a perfect opportunity to show off some muscle in front of Rarity.”

Spike said nothing and just sat there pressed against a corner with his back turned to him.

“Hey, are you ok little guy?”

“It won’t go away…”

“What won’t?” Frank started to worry. “Pain? Did you hurt yourself? Let me take a look at you.”

“No!”

The downtrodden dragon was suddenly full of vigor. He struggled and flailed, but to no avail against the much bigger alicorn pulling him out in the open. One of his claws was currently holding onto a bucket, covering up the complete front of his body. That claw lost grip when Frank lifted Spike from the ground. While he was held in front of Frank, the bucket slid down and remained suspended around Spike’s groin without anything holding it up.

Nothing that Frank could see anyways.

“Oh I get it now, you’re talking about your boner.”

The relief was almost palpable as the anxiety fell of Frank’s shoulders. That feeling only did last until he realized that only a few inches of air and some sheet metal separated his face from a genuine dragon bone.

“I’ll close my eyes while you think about Granny Smith in lingerie.”

Spike paled. “Why?”

“Just do it.”

The little dragon complied and furrowed his brow in concentration. A few seconds later Frank heard the bucket hit the ground.

“It worked! Look!”

“I would goddamn hope it does!” Frank thought as he opened his eyes with a motherly smile to hide his inner turmoil, “otherwise this talk would get even more difficult. How do I approach this delicately?”

As he mused over his course of action, Spike had continued his sulking. “It will come back! The stupid thing always does! It’s so embarrassing and everyone will look at me weird when they find out!”

Frank sighed and looked him directly into the eyes.

“How old are you?”

A look of hurt washed over his face and Spike went slack in his arms. “You don’t know?”

Frank nuzzled his cheek. “I’m ancient Spike, please cut me some slack. I don’t even know my own exact age anymore.”

It wasn’t such a bad cop-out and technically no lie, since he really had no idea how old this body could be. Also it seemed to appease Spike from his disappointment as he answered with a puffed out chest.

“I’m turning thirteen next month.”

That surprised him greatly. Here he was, treating Spike like a toddler, and the little rascal was already a teenager! Frank remembered that time of his life with no fondness. Insecurities about his manliness and appeal to females, confusing new rules to follow, even more insecurities, and goddamn acne.

So much acne.

What made it so much worse for Spike than for him though, was the circumstance that he didn’t have anything or anyone to look for guidance. There was no male role model within reach, let alone something like the internet or late night TV to show him the facts of life. He shuddered from the mental image of how limited everything must have been in the days of his parents.

And Equestria was in the erotic dark ages compared to even that. “Spike you’re currently in a very shitty age, but believe me that more and more ways to relieve that stress will open up the older you get.”

“Like what?”

“When a stallion and a mare like each other very much…”

Spike grimaced and raised his claw to interrupt him. “I know all that. Twilight was very thorough and graphical with my sex ed.”

Frank pictured how Twilight would give private lessons, and surprised himself by how easy he could see her in the role of a stern teacher disciplining the bad student. He drifted off in a very special place inside of his mind with a dopey smile and glazed over eyes.

“Do you think she might help me to do the same thing with Blueblood?”

Spike had enough from being held in the air and poked Frank in the nose to get his attention. “Maybe. Twilight loves to teach, but can be very strict and demanding. Why are your wings twitching?”

“Nevermind that.” He put him back on the floor. “Back to your problem. I figure you learned all the theoretically and safety stuff from her.” Frank waited for the small dragon to nod slowly. “Wonderful, that means we can go straight to the fun part.”

“Fun part?”

“Two individuals have sex if they want to make a baby, but not exclusively for that reason. Most of the times it’s simply for pleasure.”

“That still doesn’t help me,” Spike said, “I’m still way too young to do this kind of things with somebody.”

Frank patted him on the back. “That’s a really mature attitude. The physical union of two or more individuals is a wonderful thing and should be cherished. That in mind, what would you say if told you that you don’t really need someone else for this activity?”

“Two or more?” Spike asked stunned, before his nose got bopped by a big white hoof.

“One step at a time stud. For the beginning, just apply what you learned about the general process and instead of being with a female you use this.” Frank nudged one of his arms with his snout and remained on eye level with him. “The gods were gracious enough to bless you with the right appendages in a land that is full of ponies with useless stubs.”

“My claw? How is this…”

The following reaction was a sight to behold. Frank loved to watch the expression on Spike’s face as he did some grabbing motions and looked at his dexterous digits like he’d been made aware of their existence for the first time. It was rare for a guy to be present at another fellow male’s moment of enlightenment.

Things would fundamentally change for him.

“See how practical that is? You just need yourself, a quiet place and maybe something to jumpstart your imagination. Is there a store in this town that sells newspapers and magazines?”

Spike snapped out of his musings. “Yes, there is. I pick up the new science magazines from Canterlot on every tuesday for Twilight.”

Now they were getting somewhere.

“Are there certain aisles or parts of that magazine store Twilight wants you to stay away?”

Spike was taken back. “How do you know that?”

There seemed to be one established form of media left to fall back on and the situation didn’t look as bleak for Spike as Frank had thought. “That’s a good place to start for reference material. I’ll buy you some, but hide those magazines good when you’re not using them!”

The way Spike’s eyes sparkled at him made Frank feel like a very pervy Santa.

“Really? Thank you so much!” Spike said, embracing Frank’s muzzle in a hug that was astonishingly delicate for having razor sharp claws.

The gesture of affection threw Frank off guard. Even more so did the words that followed.

“I love you mom.”

Frank’s heart grew three sizes that day.

He always had been firmly in the circle of people who believed that the show didn’t need the small dragon, and thought of him as an annoying distraction at the best of times. Now the little tyke was showing his endless gratitude for a relatively small favour and a little bit of caring. It was so much harder to be dismissive of the so called ‘unnecessary sidekick’ when you’re his chosen mother figure that buys dirty magazines for him.

Spike was a good kid and he deserved better.

“Don’t mention it, son. Never hesitate to come to me when you need something.” He ruffled his scales before opening the cupboards in the kitchen to pick up every pack of sugar and toss them in the nearby trash bin. “Before I go get you some ‘sugar’ for your cake, do you have any preferences I should look out for?”

Frank was quick enough to follow his gaze back into the library, where Rarity and the others were busy with cleaning up the mess from the fight. He heard him audible gulp when the alicorn in question bent over deeply to pick up a teacup that had rolled under stairs to the living quarters.

A wolfish grin grew on his face as he dropped the last packet of sugar in the trash bin and started rummaging deeper in the cooking cabinet. “I figured.”

Still flustered from Frank’s question, he almost didn’t catch the small glass bottle that got tossed at him.

“Oil?”

“Trust me, this works wonders. Until I’m back, why don’t you relax a bit and watch the sky on the balcony?”

The three ladies had taken seat on the table again as Frank and a giggling Spike re-entered the room. The furniture had really taken a beating from Luna’s throw, now wobbling with every touch and movement of the few pieces of crockery still intact.

“Spike said we’re all out of sugar, I’ll get some quickly at the store.” Frank passed them quickly for the exit, throwing nervous glances at Luna in search for any objections. Luckily, she seemed occupied with throwing occasional glares at the oblivious Twilight.

He closed the door behind him with a loud bang, producing a noticeable shake that made the dangling chandelier above them fall from the ceiling. The heavy ornament smashed the already battered table in half, along with the sad remains of Twilight’s tea set.

Three pairs of eyes focused on the purple princess in their midst.

“Tea is overrated anyway. Anypony want to go out for hayburgers when she gets back?”

A white and a blue hoof raised in approval.

“What about you Spike?” Twilight turned for her little assistant to see an empty space and hear a door slamming shut a floor above.

“Spike?”

“Leave him be, Twilight.” Luna had finally calmed down enough to talk to her civilly. “We should also buy something for Applejack and her family. I doubt they had much time to eat while they put out the fire on their orchard.”

“Yeah, that would be… WHAT FIRE?!”

Outside the library...

“That went better than expected.”

Frank breathed in deeply to get some fresh air into his lungs and allowed himself a satisfied smile. Things were going smoothly and Twilight was almost where he needed her to be. Everything should fall into place nicely with a little bit more tomorrow. His relationship with Luna steadily improved, despite the occasional knacks and bumps along the way.

He hoped dearly that bond would survive the bump still to come.

Although a small part of Frank was scared shitless of how much power she held over him with even a single sentence. The weird burst of motherly love about Spike also had been a bit too much out of his comfort zone.

“Man I’m rocking that vagina, getting all sappy and emotional over stuff. You wouldn’t be able to tell that I’m not...”

A sudden and strong feeling of guilt washed over him like sewage.

The scene inside had opened his eyes to an ugly truth. Something Frank should have thought of much earlier. Somebody he’d forgotten about entirely, too self-absorbed in his own selfish desires and new shiny powers..

“Me, me, me. Am I really that egotistical to ignore what got me so far?”

He might now be an all-powerful and revered demigod under mortals, but an innocent had paid a hefty price and maybe even the ultimate one. It was simply not fair that he’d enjoyed life while someone else was suffering an unknown fate.

Frank bent his head to the ground in shame.

“I’m so sorry…”

And a bit further down to look at the empty space between his hindlegs.

“... I really miss you little buddy.”

He didn’t get an answer and he didn’t expect one.

“Until today, I didn’t realize what I’d had with you. Now you’re gone after all we’ve been through and I didn’t even really get to say goodbye.”

A small cloud of dust got swirled up as his haunches hit the ground.

“There have been quarrels and differences between us at times, especially when it came down to females, but in hindsight I like to think that we brought more joy than misery to each others lives.”

Passersby turned their heads in curiosity as the alicorn in front of the library kept talking to his crotch.

“You were always my compass in times of doubt. Just like that one time, when you warned me from hooking up with that guy in drag and I mistakenly accused you of impotence until...” Frank paused, trying to swallow down the big lump in his throat.

“I’m rambling. Words are meaningless now.”

With a new sense of purpose in his eyes, Frank stood up to proudly face the staring crowd.

He widened the distance between his hindlegs into a glorious straddle-legged stance, closing his eyes to enjoy the mild breeze passing his loins.

For the first time since his arrival in Equestria, he became aware of the staggering difference. A comforting weight missing entirely.

“This is my way to pay my last respect and how I imagine you wanted it to be.”

Unlike earlier, Frank didn’t mind the single tear running down his right cheek.

Comrades should be mourned.

“One final walk like you were still here, buying something that will bring the same joy we used to have to a hopeful little dragon and his new best friend.”

A first step.

“A friend and enemy like none other.”

Another step.

“A companion and warden, he won’t find again in a life-time.”

Step three and four.

“A curse I got freed from, and simultaneously a blessing I lost.”

Many more had joined the crowd by now, as Frank started to march with a rolling gait down the road. He reaped many whispers and giggles, but not a single one from the male side of the audience. From the oldest stallion to the youngest colt, pony or other race, all of them witnessing the procession watched in solidary reverence.

One of those was a silent Mr. Cake with his equally silent son.

“Why are you two saluting?” Mrs. Cake asked with her bored daughter on her back.

“I don’t know, honeybun. However, deep down, I somehow feel that we have to.”

The crowd split to make way for the man turned mare on his lonely journey into the really early sunset.

Author's Note

First chapter in the new year, and it feels good to get something out again.:ajsmug:

Kickass Celestia Vector by wolfjedisamuel (Thank you for letting me use this! :rainbowkiss:)

Edited by McStuffins

Coming back from getting cigarettes

There are certain traits which you associate with a royal title, which creates expectations in a person that holds said title.

Expectations in their ability, character and influence.

“Neighyork Times? Curse those ponies and their puns!”

Expectations can also easily be shattered.

Frank was standing in the equestrian version of a gas station with a pile of dirty magazines in his basket. The large building on the outskirts of Ponyville stood out like a sore thumb and Frank had been instantly fascinated by its purpose. They sold everything you would expect from a gas station on earth in ponified form, minus the obvious things that didn’t exist in Equestria. They even had gasoline pumps, but the things only ran water for thirsty ponies and cleaning purposes.

He kept snooping around the premise and stared at the magazine rack, making it really awkward for all the stallions and adolescent colts in the store. One can only imagine the amount of courage it would take for a young male to grab the recent issue of “Playcolt” while the ruler of your nation was intensely scowling at the pinup mares on the glossy magazine covers.

“Centerfolds don’t really work for quadrupeds.”

None of them would ever know how unnecessary their hesitation was.

Frank’s intense look didn’t come from anger or disgust, just from mere frustration at his task at hand. He considered himself a healthy and sexually interested male, so finding something suitable in that massive assortment of smut shouldn’t have been as difficult as it turned out to be. It took only a couple of magazines for him to realize how much he was over his head.

What kind of beauty standard does a culture have where over ninety percent ran around with the same body type?

Mane style? Wingspan? Horn length?

Only Luna had made Frank feel the more carnal sides of affection. The erotic material about the show on earth followed usually the trend of changing the cartoony art style to make it sexier. The mares lolling lasciviously on the covers still looked like they would in the children’s cartoon for girls and were more cute than arousing. Soon he felt overwhelmed by the sheer number of choices.

Lucky for him, Frank had found a second opinion to fall back on. “Stop putting that magazine on the pile, Pinkie. The mare on the cover looks nothing like Rarity!”

“Are you kidding me, princess? Look at the shape of those cheek bones and knee curves! They’re almost twins!”

A very loud and vocal opinion.

Frank didn’t question why Pinkie Pie had suddenly appeared in the store and helped him. She’s Pinkie, so why wouldn’t she materialize out of thin air? The pink menace had a lot of free time since her forced vacation and things at the festival still went smoothly without her constant supervision due to planning in a magnitude that would make Twilight look careless.

His muzzle vanished behind another magazine as he droned on. “The mare on the cover is a green earth pony. Rarity is a white unicorn.” He squinted his eyes and turned the cover sideways. “Maybe it could work if you cut off her horn and throw them in the a bucket of white paint. With the same color and accessories, you all look the identical to me.”

Pinkie kept staring at Frank expectantly until he glanced at her over the top of his magazine.

“What?”

“I’m waiting for the punchline of your joke, princess.”

“Did I say something funny?”

Pinke laughed nervously and backed away. She vanished behind the shelf and Frank shrugged when the pink pony didn’t reappear.

“She can be quite a hoofful, can’t she?” A voice said in his hoof.

Frank glanced down to the magazine he was holding and caught movement on the cover. It featured a picture of a pompously decorated room in classy lighting. Center of attention was the large bed with rosebuds sprinkled on it. Several mares on the purple satin sheets came to life and did various poses in their lacy undergarments and ornate saddles, giving Frank bedroom eyes and blowing kisses at him. Those eyes suddenly focused on the large bulge under the sheets in their midsts.

Frank's nose was almost pressed against the paper as something sprang out from under it.

Or better a chaotic someone.

“Suprise!” Discord threw his arms up and pushed two mares rudely off the bed in the process.

Frank licked his hoof out of habit to flip the page. “Hello, Discord. Nice to see you again.”

Discord’s grin faltered after the lackluster reaction. “You could a least pretend to be shocked by my antics. You know, for old time’s sake.”

“You should get out of there quickly,” Frank said dryly, realizing the uselessness of his wet hoof and pointed it at the title of the magazine instead. “Unless you’re into that kind of stuff.”

Discord looked at the magazine title and froze.

“A stallion’s wet dream: Playcolt Special Herd Issue.”

The mares started crawling towards the draconequus on the bed while licking their lips, joined by the two that Discord had thrown off.

“You had no idea where you would appear, don't you?” Frank asked smugly. One of the unicorns had already wrapped Discord’s tail around herself and played with its end like a kitten.

“I didn’t expect that you surround yourself with such stimulating literature,” Discord muttered, keeping another lusty mare and their kisses at bay with a pillow.

“I’m not feeling like myself lately,” Frank said, turning the page.“I’m sorry if this inconveniences you.”

“Don’t be! It’s amazing!” Discord said full of vigor as he jumped from the cover into a hottub on the next page with a loud splash. He surfaced with a glass of champagne and a black thong on his antler. “You’re wonderful company as of late. Nothing like the boring wet blanket you’re used to be!”

Frank smiled. “Nice to have your approval for my descent into abnormality.” He turned the page again to the roleplay section. “It’s hard to please everybody.”

“Right...” Discord said sympathetically from a hospital bed on the next page with several nurses in saucy stockings. He leaned back on the pillow, having been given some more food for thought while the equipment came to life with a snap of his claws and fought off the lecherous medical staff.

“I’m sorry for yesterday by the way.”

The sincerity in Frank’s voice surprised Discord and weakened his guard. One nurse managed to cut through his heart monitor linebacker and jumped onto his face to attached herself like a plunger. A ripped electrical cord from the machine took care of that problem quite nicely and very loud.

Frank raised his voice to speak over the screams of agony. “I made an error by using the alicorn amulet to my advantage and you were the main victim of my rage. You have every right to be angry with me.”

“Angry?” Discord waited for the banging noise from the bedpan to fade. “Oh dear friend, whatever gave you that idea?” Discord’s expression darkened as his head came flying out of the magazine pressed itself against Frank’s forehead. “You’ve never seen me angry.”

Discord wasn’t boasting or bluffing. Frank could tell the truthfulness of his words. This was not a threat but simple fact. The history of the show supported that claim and Frank realized for the first time how narrowly they had avoided a catastrophe.

So he was all the gladder when Discord returned to his usual and chipper self. “I was a bit miffed, but not because of you. If anything, I should thank you. You managed to genuinely surprise me and I treasure such a gift above everything else.”

The heart monitor unleashed his last charge of electroshocks before the brave little machine flatlined and Discord saluted to his sacrifice. “Is this a pegasus issue? They seem more than resistant to shocks than usual.”

Frank pointed at the header again. “S&M section.”

The door to the hospital burst open to reveal two dozen heart monitors and defibrillators pulling a charge to avenge their brother in arms. “Ah, makes sense. I’m running out of juice here. Do you mind changing the page?”

“I think I’ve seen enough.” Frank shielded his eyes from the fierce flickering and third-degree burns of imaginary ponies. “The next pages have all the fetishes and I really don’t want to see you in skintight black leather.”

He still wasn’t feeling all that well from his magic exhaustion and Luna would have his head for this, but Frank valued the safety of his mental health more than any ailments from a slight headache. Discord got sucked out of the magazine with a flare of Frank’s horn and landed roughly on his behind, in tow a huge suitcase with stickers from every place and horse pun imaginable

Frank winced through the building pain behind his eyes and mustered the large piece of luggage with interest. “What’s with the suitcase? Did Fluttershy kick you out?”

Discord didn’t answer. His paw had reached for the piece of black lingerie on his antler and inspected it with a mixture of worry and fascination. Frank stretched his neck to get a better look and saw three pink butterflies stitched on the meager piece of fabric.

“Let me gift you some of my literature. A good read usually helped me to get over a bad breakup in the past.”

Frank went to his basket with slight sway and rummaged through the pile of smut. Without warning, a pink hoof poked out between the magazines and startled the hell out of him. The wobbly limb waved happily and handed him a copy with a very bubbly looking earth pony on the front. A second hoof joined the other with a drawn on face and a speech bubble.

“Pretty Please?” It read in big pink letters.

“How about this spunky dame,” Frank patted the hoof like a pet and showed Discord the cover with a grin, before putting it aside for another magazine from the pile, “or would you prefer something more timid and delicate? A pegasus, maybe?”

The pink hoof vanished in the pile and reappeared with added angry eyebrows to its face, punching Frank painfully in the butt.

Discord stared a moment at both covers and shook his head. “I appreciate the gesture, but nothing is wrong with me and dear Fluttershy. I’m merely going on a little trip.”

“Where to?” Frank asked.

“I don’t know.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“I don’t know that either. Isn't’ it great?” he brimmed with excitement and Frank gave up on his line of questioning with an eye roll, lacking interest due to his worsening migraine and discounting the whole shtick as a Discord thing. “However, I can’t go before saying farewell to my favorite princess.”

The large white pony pointed at himself with a questioning look and Discord nodded, making Frank smile weakly before he spoke. “Now that there are five of us, I really feel flattered by your choice.”

“Yes, you see… Wait, five?” Discord put a claw up to his face and started counting. He stopped several times at four digits with a frown. Then he pulled the fifth unused talon from his claw and changed his expression to a grin. “Don’t tell me who it is. I like to be surprised.”

The missing thumb reattached itself and he reached out to him with his complete claw. Frank looked at it questioningly, until he realized that Discord offered a handshake that he gladly took as a gesture of burying the hatchet for good.

“This was definitely the right choice!” Discord said ominously and tightened his grip around Frank’s hoof with a massive jolt of energy pulsating through the surprised alicorn. The other customers sought shelter behind shelves and counters as objects started to explode at random into confetti under Discord's roar.

"THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!"

Frank stumbled groggily backward. He opened his mouth and released a single cotton candy cloud into the air like a puff of smoke. Every single strand of hair on his body stood on end, turning his hairdo into a prismatic afro.

“A hand buzzer? Really? I would’ve thought that mundane practical jokes were beneath the almighty spirit of chaos.” He shook his aching hoof to get the numbness out, eyeing Discord warily and noticing the drastic change of his appearance. The misshapen draconequus had transformed himself into a brown unicorn stallion of middle age and dark gray hair with a matching goatee.

Discord didn’t look the least bit worried about the new body, already lifting the large suitcase on his back with a grunt. “It’s a classic and sometimes it’s good to start back from scratch. A return to the basics, so to speak,” He said while visibly struggling to keep balance because of the additional weight on his back. “Although, it seems that this will need some time for me to get used to. Would you be so kind and spare an outfit for this poor traveler?”

The refusal to strain his weakened magical power was already on his tongue and halfway out his mouth when Frank noticed something.

The headaches were gone.

He was feeling great!

Frank shrugged and ignited his horn. Currently, the earlier Discord was out of his sight the better. The result of his magic wasn’t quite what Frank had imagined. He had wanted to give Discord a simple jacket but summoned a red Hawaiian shirt instead. The star-shaped sunglasses and flower garland were just the confusing cherry on top.

Discord gave himself a once-over with a big smile, which got even wider when Frank did some cautious taps against his horn. “This will do nicely. Well, I’m off then. Good luck!” He waved and froze, mustering Frank with a dangerous glint in his new pony eyes “Oh wait, there’s something I need to know...”

“What would that… hnnggg!!!” Frank felt two hooves grab his face and pull it down before Discord gave him a big kiss straight on the lips.

The few customers that hadn’t fled by now got the sight of their lives as their princess and a strange stallion smooched it out in the debris of the magazine isle.

“Not much different as a pony.” Discord said with a smirk and released the dumbfounded alicorn from his hooves.

Instantly, an aftertaste of caramel and chocolate assaulted Frank’s taste buds. He had done it again! Discord had kissed him! Part of Frank got furious like the last time he tasted draconequs tongue, already searching the store for a sufficiently large piece of equipment to bash him to paste.

But then, another and surprisingly loud part of his mind took over. “You call that a kiss?” Frank’s strong legs grabbed the much smaller pony and flipped him backward into a tango pose. “Let me show you how it is done!”

The still petrified onlookers witnessed in bafflement as the horse-sized princess stared the much smaller stallion down, before shoving her tongue down his throat under muffled protests and squeals. The unicorn melted under the mass of warm flesh and soft fur whose owner seemingly tried to eat his face now. Their lips noisily parted with a wet sound as both gazed at each other.

“The exit is there. Have a nice trip!” Frank said and dropped him to wipe his lips with a foreleg.

“I will…”

Frank watched with grim satisfaction as Discord tumbled out of the building with his luggage.

And the two magazines from earlier on top.

“What a sly dog... Looks like there’s still hope, Pinkie,” Frank whispered to the pile of magazines, noticing after poking it that he was only talking to himself. Pinkie had vanished without a trace, but not before leaving him a little present on his butt.

“Very cute...” Frank inspected the piece of art with mirth. The sun on his flank had two crosses as eyes and a puking mouth, appropriate to the surrounding stink lines and flies. He sniffed his butt and smelled the familiar scent of fresh wall paint.

Unknown to Pinkie, she had managed to capture his current feelings about Discord’s advances very well. A very small part of him had enjoyed the interaction and that thought was all kinds of disturbing. He was still him and he only loved Luna, but the increasing amount of spontaneous mood swings put him seriously out of whack on a mental and emotional level.

And somehow it was getting worse.

Frank shuddered and went to browse the magazine rack. Getting back to his earlier task of finding suitable smut for a pubescent dragon would hopefully help to calm his mind. Deep in thoughts, he levitated one of the juice cans lying around and took a sip to wash the taste of guy out. He didn’t notice the small flicker of green in his magic before the liquid touched his tongue and got spit out immediately in surprise.

A small trickle ran down Frank’s chin and stained his coat brown.

“Chocolate milk?”

Sweet Apple Acres

“Did you see that flash?”

Applejack looked out of the window from her living room, but couldn’t see anything through the treeline surrounding their house. From her perspective, you could think that nothing was wrong on their sweet little home.

Granny Smith smashed that illusion to pieces pretty quickly.

“Don’t change the subject, missy!” the old mare yelled. “Get those good for nothing hoodlums off my property!”

The ghost of a smile appeared on Applejack’s face. On more than one occasion she’d admired the vigor of her granny and hoped sincerely, that she would be half as vital as a mare at that age. Sure, that energy was currently directed at the twins on their couch, but it was awe-inspiring to hear such a booming voice out of such a brittle frame. Only personal experience stopped her from defending the Flim-Flam brothers. Both had a glass of apple juice in their hooves while Granny was laying in on them. Juice, Granny had made herself and kept in storage for guests.

“The fence is still all crooked from the time you two no-gooders bumped into it with your doohickey!”

Applejack barely stifled a snort. After the damage that the fire had done yesterday, a bump in the fence was the least of their problems. The flames had been put out quickly and had thankfully started at the outskirts of Sweet Apple Acres, but the damage was huge nonetheless. Large parts of their orchard were now unusable until the charred trees were removed and replaced with new saplings.

Sweetie Belle had volunteered immediately to help. Applejack didn’t think the filly would be of much help until she had remembered her magic duel in the stadium and left the little powerhouse to her own devices.

That kid had gotten really weird lately.

Flam took a sip from his cold beverage under Granny Smith’s piercing glare, leaving Flim to respond in a placating manner. “We are most sorry for any inconveniences, that my brother and I may have brought on your farm in the past. I sincerely hope that you can consider our humble apologies.”

Flim found out quickly, how far sweet talk would bring him with Granny Smith. “Son, did you fall on your head as a little colt? You’re not a pineapple, so stop babbling so fruity with me.”

Applejack couldn’t resist cringing at the poor choice of words from her grandmother. The talk about Flim’s more feminine interests and source of ridicule was still fresh in her mind, making her hope that the two brothers wouldn’t take it the wrong way.

To her great relief, Flim gave Granny a sly smile. “Delicate like a rock to the face. You are definitely the grandmother of Miss Apple.”

Applejack relaxed and actually giggled at his quip while Granny Smith lost her train of thought from shock. Her granddaughter wasn’t the type of pony that giggled like a little schoolfilly. Applejack usually hollered and howled how a tough apple family dame was supposed to do. The fact that she laughed at a joke that was directed at her own grandmother was just the cherry on top.

“And you!” Applejack covered her mouth and sank deeper into her seat, trying to make herself as small a target as possible for the pointing green hoof. “How could you just leave the farm like that?”

In the meantime, Crusher was standing offside the whole commotion with common sense to stay away from the squabbles of his new boss and her family. He has been hired him for shallow reasons, more a trophy to ogle at than an actual employee. The job was simple and he didn’t feel compelled to stress those boundaries.

However, some aspects of his employment started to creep him out a bit. Most of all, his silent earthpony version standing next to him. Crusher was still wearing the hat that Applejack had bought, matching with a wheat she put in his mouth on the farm earlier. The same kind of wheat, his lookalike was currently nibbling on with a neutral expression.

“Are you also employed here?”

“Nope.”

“Friend of the family?”

Big Mac shook his head.

Crusher gulped. “Distant cousin?”

He watched in horror as the big guy beside him bit the inside of his cheek with the same empty look.

“You're her damn brother, aren’t you?”

“Eyup,” Big Mac said with a deep sigh.

Both stallions turned their attention to a suddenly yelling Applejack.“Don’t you dare question my dedication to our family! We’ve lost a lot out there and I mourn every single one of them! Sapplington, the Leafy Twins, Branchinov the Third, and the whole Bark Dynasty to mention a just few!”

Crusher leaned towards Big Mac. “She’s still talking about apple trees, right?”

His whispering was a bit too loud to go unnoticed by Granny Smith. The old mare turned to him and Big Macintosh with a frown. After blinking and rubbing her eyes a few times, she walked closer to Crusher and stared him down. “Holy cow! I thought the whole time my old eyes make me see double! Who are you?”

“My name is Crusher, mam. Newest employee of Miss Apple.”

“Miss Apple, huh?” Granny Smith said, throwing a glance back to her nervous grandchild, “Didn’t your mother teach you to take off your hat indoors?”

The large stallion stood straighter under Granny’s authoritative tone. “Miss Apple has set a strict set of rules as part of my employment. One of them is to wear this hat all times to cover my horn. This is the only rule related to clothes and appearance. The rest is how to behave and talk to her.”

Granny raised an eyebrow. “My granddaughter tells you how to talk?”

Crusher glanced at Applejack and cleared his throat.

“Eyup.”

His imitation was spot on. So much so, that Applejack couldn’t help herself and let out an excited and very high pitched squeal while Big Mac’s coat turned a few shades lighter from paling.

Granny became as deadpan as a mask. “Applejack? What exactly is Mr. Crusher employed for?”

Applejack managed to avert her sparkling eyes from Crusher for a few moments. “What ever do you mean Granny?”

“You know exactly what I mean, young lady. I was young once too.”

Big Mac turned almost white.

“What would your…” Granny’s eyes flashed towards the nearby window from a movement outside and she paused. Her head turned along the wall and stayed on the door as the knob turned. The others in the room joined her as the door opened and revealed the outside and their guests.

“By all that is holy…”

Earlier at the outskirts of Sweet Apple Acres

Blueblood loved to play dress up.

He always had, since he was a little colt. Through a small amount of imagination and a costume, there was literally nothing he couldn’t be: A shining knight saving the princess, a brave firepony putting out fires, or an explorer through ancient ruins.

However, despite having worn so many costumes, Blueblood couldn’t make sense out of the costume he had taken from his aunt this morning. It didn’t look like anything he has seen before, with the handlebar mustache, black sunglasses, and neon-red “Tiamania” bandana around his head. He would have asked for the tights and shirt as well, but he knew that those wouldn’t fit. His aunt was way too tall and had a butt that was much larger than his.

As a colt playing hide and seek, he often had asked her to get up from the throne to see if someone was hiding under there.

She hadn’t eaten cake for a whole month after he’d told her why for the first time.

Besides sparing his aunt’s feelings, what he did wear, was already enough for him to be happy. Usually, he only played around in the safe confines of the castle and wouldn’t have the heart to put on a mask other than “Prince Blueblood” in public. All the more, he was stunned how easy it was to move around town with this getup.

The familiar feeling of anxiety was missing and as far as he could tell, the mares reacted the same as always. It unnerved Blueblood when they made those high-pitched sighing noises at him and kept blinking very fast. The guards in the castle called it “hitting on him”, but why they would try to hurt him with their eyes was a mystery to the clueless stallion.

He figured that he was maybe immune to their “eye-hurt” powers and generally ignored them when possible. Only one mare had ever done something afterward, and that only included some yelling while she sprayed him with cake.

Quite funny in hindsight.

The behavior of the remaining non-female crowd really confused him though. Dozens of ponies and other species approached him for autographs, and the stallholders all around town gave him free stuff at every opportunity. New to this mask, Blueblood didn’t know how to act and decided to just accept their praise and do some of his aunts poses when asked.

After what felt like hundreds of free food samples and badly scribbled signatures as the “Princess Saver”, Blueblood wandered off the town to get away from all the hustle and bustle. His childlike curiosity took hold of him once he saw Sweet Apple Acres from afar. Especially, when he entered the eerie part with the scorched trees and ashy ground. Pictures of fire-breathing dragons filled his mind as he picked up a thick branch and swung it around like a sword.

He poked the nearest tree with gusto. “Take that foul beast! Go back to whence thou camest! Forward stallions, a glorious feast awaits for the victor!”

Blueblood loved how funny his aunt Luna talked sometimes.

The stick struck his wooden foe rapidly under heated battle cries until someone stepped loudly on something behind him and the make believe sword dropped from his magic grip. He flipped around, staring at the nearest tree husk and waited with bated breath for the vivid fantasies of monsters and dragons to become reality.

A little white filly with bubble gum mane came out sheepishly behind the tree and gave him a strained smile. “Uh… hi, I’m Sweetie Belle. What are you doing here?”

Blueblood relaxed and picked the stick back up to swing it around some more. “Playing knight.”

Sweetie Belle frowned at the weird answer. Adults didn’t play pretend. Besides Pinkie, she couldn’t think of another pony of such advanced age that would wear a costume in public so far away from Nightmare Night.

“I really like your bandana,” she said earnestly, recognizing the piece of clothing from her match with Princess Celestia and grinning at the handlebar mustache that looked even bigger on his face.

Blueblood smiled back. “Auntie gave it to me.”

At this point, Sweetie Belle connected the dots and figured out the identity of the stallion in front of her. Rarity had talked endlessly about the handsome nephew of Princess Celestia in the past. The tone had changed drastically after her visit to the Grand Galopping Gala, but she still mentioned him from time to time.

Mostly as a comparison to something very unflattering.

“Are you Prince Blueblood?” Sweetie Belle asked shakily, trying to find out for certain if she was in the presence of royalty.

“Not currently,” he answered happily. “Right now I’m something else. I haven’t found a name for it yet.”

That answer confused Sweetie Belle once again, but she credited it to the usual weirdness of nobility. Twilight and the other princesses were much more approachable than regular high society ponies. In her experience, nobles and celebrities were much more full of themselves and didn’t mingle with common folk like her.

Blueblood went back to hit the tree with his stick and she tilted her head. “What are you doing exactly here, Sir knight?”

“Fighting dragons fair maiden.” Blueblood gave his enemy another vicious poke without looking back to her while talking. “What are you doing here?”

“Actually doing something useful by removing dead trees for training. My friends rather waste their time playing detective,” “Apple Bloom is dead set to find the culprit of this fire, but I don’t want cipher through all that ash and soot.”

The second she used her magic, Blueblood recognized the gentle glow and her as the filly who fought his aunt. He stopped playing around and watched how she skillfully remove branches from other trees. Three of the branchless trunks got enveloped in a white aura. Sweetie Belle focused while biting her upper lip and ripped the trees among their roots out of the ground with a forceful pull. The heavy trunks levitated to the side, where she stacked them neatly on top of each other.

“So not a maiden, but a wizard?”

Sweetie Belle noticed smugly how impressed he was with her demonstration. “Do you want to help me?”

“Can I? Could you show me again?”

She nodded and turned to a row of five trees. In a single motion, she stripped them of their branches and ripped them all out of the ground simultaneously with an upwards jerk of her head.

“Try to top that!”Sweetie Belle was exhausted but happy. Endless pride filled the little filly from the accomplishments in such short time. Most adult unicorns she knew couldn’t do that with their magic and it made her feel special.

Blueblood observed her neatly stack of tree trunks. “By how much should I top it?”

That answer irked her. “What do you mean by how much? This is a competition! Do your best to get rid of these trees!”

For a while, nothing happened as he blankly stared at the orchard. Blueblood fixated the trees in front of him and breathed slowly. A tree started to glow to his left, then two to his right, then four behind him, then eight, then a hundred all around, until every single tree in sight was enveloped by a golden aura.

“What a showoff!” Sweetie Belle thought and shielded her eyes from the blinding light, “No way he can…”

The trees exploded like giant sticks of dynamite.

All at once.

Nothing had remained left standing. Only hundreds of neatly arranged holes and raining splinters of wood were testimonies for their existence in the past. Both of them stood now in a giant empty clearance.

“How did you… this many… what?!”

“I guess you win. I can’t stack them.”

Before she could answer to that, Blueblood could hear screams from a filly. On the edge of the new clearing, he saw two small ponies stumble around in confusion. Even from this distance, he could distinguish that the yellow one with the red mane and bow was very angry, evident by the hectic head movement and loud swears.

Blueblood grimaced and rubbed his head. Lately, he hasn’t had any episodes besides the small one with Trusty in Canterlot, but he could tell already that this one would be particularly bad and entirely created by his own doing. Excessive use of his magic made them more frequent and he knew that very well. Auntie had told him constantly to be careful and sparing with his magic.

Sweetie Belle came to his aid as he stumbled to the ground. “What’s wrong!? Are you okay? ” she said in a panic, fearing Blueblood might have hurt himself through magical strain. She had learned first-hoof during her training in Rarity’s basement how much pain it can cause.

She gulped as her mind upscaled the magnitude of possible pain in relation to his feat.

Her head would explode if she tried something similar.

“Sometimes words go away,” Blueblood whispered, wanting to call Sweetie Belle by name but was unable to recall it. “Makes the thinking heavy.”

“Your cutie mark!”

Both of them stared at his flank, one in shock and the other in simple acknowledgment.

“No worry. Happens many...”

The words didn’t come back good enough and panic took hold of him. He focused everything on pulling the “Prince Blueblood” mask from deep inside and over his face. Sweetie Belle took her wide eyes away from his new cutie mark and saw him take deep breaths.

The whole way he carried himself drastically changed soon after. “Pardon me. I misspoke. It happens often is what I meant, of course. Sometimes when I get too excited or invested in something, my cutie mark changes.”

Cutie Marks could change? Sweetie Belle had never heard of something like that and wouldn’t believe if she hadn’t seen it happen with her own eyes.

If she was completely honest with herself, Sweetie Belle hasn’t been completely on board with the new direction the Crusaders were going. Part of her still believed that Princess Celestia had been joking about the unimportance of cutie marks for your destiny.

Yet here she was, witnessing a stallion that could change it on demand, making them completely meaningless. “But… a cutie mark is supposed to represent what you’re good at.”

Blueblood’s laugh was condescending and cold. “Figures, a commoner wouldn’t understand. I’m gifted with an illustrious assortment of skills. So much so, that my cutie mark won’t be limited to a single appearance. Aunty Tia locked herself up in the royal library for three weeks to find a way to restore my cutie mark to its former glory.”

He removed the red bandana from his head and used the cloth to wipe off a grass stain on his white coat. The sunglasses followed next, giving way to his now cold and expressionless eyes.

This new behavior and explosion in vocabulary was disturbing to behold. She had thought that Prince Blueblood could be a really nice pony; A cool and a bit childish adult to have fun with. Now she felt incredibly small and insignificant in his presence, like when one of Rarity’s more high-class clients came over.

“It is a pretty cutie mark. A golden sunrise.” Sweetie said meekly in the presence of the serious adult.

A serious expression that crumbled from his face like sandstone. “It is cool, isn’t it? Do you think auntie will let me keep it?” The haughty expression came back on. “I mean, not that your opinion holds any value to me.”

The filly began to tremble. “Why are you doing this?”

His face twitched but remained stoic otherwise. “What are you talking about, peasant?”

“This!” Sweetie Belle pointed at his face in outrage. “One second you’re nice and friendly, and the next you’re one of those snobs my sister has to hang around!”

Blueblood was taken aback. “Nice and friendly? You like me better without my mask?”

“Yes!” Sweetie Belle said, before raising an eyebrow. “What mask?”

Blueblood contemplated if he should tell Sweetie Belle his secret. Trusty knew about it and hadn’t been mean to him so far. Aunt Luna had turned to be nice because she found out. Maybe, this kid might be friendly too and would want to be his friend.

His first friend since...

“Nephew, Cadence won’t be coming to play anymore.”

“Why aunty? Did I do something wrong? Does Cady not like me anymore?”

… a long time ago.

Trusty and Luna have been told by his auntie though, and his auntie was too nice to put it as bluntly as Blueblood would now.

“I’m very stupid and my head doesn’t work right, Sweetie.” He said and smiled at his ability to remember her name. “I’ll try to explain. The words won’t be good anymore without my mask.”

He made weird movements with his jaw in hope to loosen the words inside. “Don’t tattle on me to auntie. She always scolds me when I say how stupid I am. I don't know why. It’s true. I’m not as smart as other ponies. I try to be, but sometimes everything in my head gets fuzzy and slows down.”

Sweetie Belle tried to comprehend his explanation. “Like an ice cream headache?”

“More like a sleeping hoof, but with my head,” Blueblood replied after thinking about the sensation. “I’m not good at putting new stuff in there, and many I can’t recall old stuff goodly.”

He frowned from his sentence and licked his lips like they had a bad taste on them. Something wasn’t right and his head wouldn’t tell him what.

“Aunty says you don’t need to be smart to be happy. I still wish I were. One day I got an idea which was pretty good for a dumb pony like me. I figured that if can’t be smart, I could at least pretend so I don’t embarrass my aunty.”

“I called you a peasant and commoner. I don’t know what that really means. The ponies in the fancy clothing said those words to other ponies, so I went into one of aunty’s meetings and repeated what I’ve heard.”

Blueblood smiled and then frowned as his head gave him a memory. “The fancy ponies liked me and applauded, but aunty was very angry. She dragged me away by the ears and into my room to scold me.”

Lost in the memories of that day, he started to rub his left ear with a blank expression.

“She wanted to know why I did it. I told her how happy I was that they didn’t laugh at me and praised my words. I told her how much I liked that my words didn’t sound stupid and asked her if she could be proud of me now.”

Sweetie Belle didn’t know what to say. What could she say?

“Aunty hugged me and cried. I hate seeing aunty cry.”

Princess Celestia crying? Tears formed in the filly’s eyes from only about how that would look like.

“She helped me practice smart words. Every evening we rehearsed until I didn’t have to think about what to say and do anymore. Some things I said were mean, but that was all part of the mask. Aunty told me explicitly what words were too mean to say.”

Sweetie Belle was curious what those words were, but she didn’t ask out courtesy.

“That's how Prince Blueblood was made. Sometimes it’s hard wearing the mask. I’m too scared to put it away though. The mask protects me. I don’t have to think, I just react and talk more good… better… and don’t feel so stupid.”

A long breath escaped his lungs from exhaustion. He had laid his soul bare to another pony. Pride of his bravery filled him, combined with a fear of the possible things to come.

“How about another mask then? A more friendly one?”

Blueblood startled when the red cloth floated back on his head and knot back into a bandana. The sunglasses came next, gently put on his muzzle and tinting the world a few shades darker. Sweetie put back the blond moustache last, making him giggle from the slight brush against his upper lip.

“WHAT THE HAY HAPPENED HERE!? WHERE’S THE ORCHARD? WHERE ARE OUR TREES?”

Apple Bloom decided to arrive exactly at this time to ruin the sweet moment between them. Panting heavily from the short sprint and loud yelling, she gave the cowed stallion a fierce stink eye. Scootaloo merely looked curious and still fresh as a daisy from the small sprint.

"What do you have to say for yourself, mister?" said the small filly with the red mane in a fierceness that made the stallion thrice her size honestly afraid.

Blueblood shakingly pointed at Sweetie Belle. “She... She said they should go....”

“NOT ALL OF THEM!”

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo rolled their eyes, unimpressed and unsurprised by the theatrics of their friend.

Blueblood on the other hoof seemed heartbroken about his mistake. “Please, don’t be angry… I didn't know... Do you want them back?”

“These trees were like family!” The smallest glint of tears shone in Apple Bloom’s eyes. “Of course, I want them back!”

This made sense to Blueblood. If trees are family, the family should be happy and not hurt.

He could make her stop screaming by fixing the hurt. “Don’t tell auntie. She doesn’t like it when I do this.”

Even an untalented unicorn can tell the magnitude of a casted spell in its presence. They were the most sensitive of the three tribes to the fluctuation of mana around them and reacted accordingly. The super powered sun princess with the alicorn amulet stood as a recent example.

What Sweetie felt right when horn of Blueblood started to glow made that incident pale in comparison. Every hair on her coat stood on end as the filly was drowned in a mass of energy that was as thick as glue. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t talk or move, just watch in awe as the magic of Blueblood flooded the orchard like the first rays of the morning sun.

"Wow..."

The four of them stood in the thick green and red of apple trees. Birds were tweeting in their nests and squirrels poked their head out of healthy knotholes in search for nuts. The Crusaders watched the bustling wildlife in the returned orchard with a sense of pure wonder.

“This is amazing!” Applebloom said tearfully, rubbing the bark of a nearby tree in disbelief. “It’s exactly like before, down to the last branch and leaf!” She made a big jump and glomped the startled stallion with all her might. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are my hero!”

Blueblood looked away from the bawling filly and glanced shyly at Sweetie Belle. “H… Hero?”

She came out of her shock and smiled back at him. “Sounds good for a mask, doesn’t it?”

A ghost of a smile came over his face too, but it morphed into shock as he threw his head towards the line of trees to their left. His horn glowed once and his eyes went even wider.

"Oh, no..." He threw Apple Bloom off like a horseshoe from his hoof and trotted towards it with eyes turning to slits. Then Blueblood started running into the thicket, leaving the baffled fillies behind to ponder his sudden behavior.

“After him!” Sweetie Belle was the first to react. “Scootaloo you are the fastest. Try to catch him! Apple Bloom and I will follow!”

The pegasus did a small salute and vanished behind the trees. Given the usual speed of their friend, Scootaloo was soon out of sight too, regardless how much Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom pushed themselves to catch up.

The only clue they had for the right direction came in the form of a faraway explosion and yells that got louder with lessening distance.

“...Stop it!...”

“What... What are you doing!?”

“...Put them down!...”

They broke through the tree line and stared upwards toward a small hill with a massive oak tree at its peak. The only oak tree in the whole orchard.

A landmark.

“Oh Celestia…” said Sweetie Belle breathless and sick to her stomach, her face frozen in a mask of pure horror from the unfolding scene.

Two giant open holes in the ground and two molded caskets floating out of them vertically to stand with their lids as doors.

Apple Bloom said nothing, simply trotting towards the stallion floating the woodden boxes with a feeling in her chest that had turned from worry to icy hate. On the way, she looked around for a stone or a big stick, something big enough to hurt this monster as much as he had hurt her with a single act.

Scootaloo stopped pulling on Blueblood’s hindleg and backed away from him, leaving a straight line for Apple Bloom to pounce on him as everyone held their breaths in silent anticipation of things to come.

Until the sound of knocking pierced the silent orchard.

The three fillies stared upwards and past Blueblood. The floating caskets were rumbling, shaking in place and only didn’t tip over because of Blueblood’s firm magic grip. In slow motion, the lids of the standing caskets fell down like a drawbridge and two masses fell with them out of the pitch-black inside to hit the soft grass to his hooves with a heavy thud.

Not the rattling sounds of bones.

“I only wanted to bring the trees back. These two came back by accident. Do you want them too?”

The two bodies slowly stirred awake. The massive body with fire red hair and tail groaned in a bassy voice that sounded every bit as masculine as her brother, while the smaller female with curly orange mane moaned in a calm and melodic fashion that made Apple Bloom’s heart melt in recognition.

“Yes, I did want them…”

The two ponies from the caskets raised their heads groggily and blinked from the warm rays that shone through the branches and leaves above them before the eyes of the mare and stallion turned towards the group of ponies before them.

And to a little earthpony with red hair and a red bow.

“Every day of my life…”

Author's Note

Not gonna lie, I feel rusty as hell.

Family Matters

The seven o’clock train to Appleloosa over Ponyville will arrive shortly at platform four. Please secure your belongings and keep away from the gap until the train has come to a full stop. We hope you enjoyed your stay in the city that never sleeps and invite you to come back soon to Las Pegasus.

Few ponies sat at the Las Pegasus railroad station to hear the occasional announcements of incoming and leaving trains. Even less listened, fully immersed in other activities to pay any attention to something as mundane as arriving transportation.

All except one pony.

A mare sat on the bench closest to the rails, her ticket gripped tight in her hoof and eyes glued to the large clock to count the remaining seconds. She had nothing else in terms of worldly possessions on her, which wasn’t unusual in a place that had its shares of gambling and other vices, so nobody gave the penniless pony any attention.

She was pretty in a cute and innocent way, unfitting for an adult-oriented place like Las Pegasus, with the wavy pink mane and tail, spotless white coat and big innocent eyes in shining magenta.

The only imperfection seemed to be the slightly bigger than average horn on the mare’s head compared to the petite frame of her body and the cutiemark which looked like the brightness icon from a TV-remote. A thin black circle and lines formed the image of a sun on both flanks. A pale comparison to the blazing yellow and orange the mare was used to, but she cherished the fact that she could remember it at all.

Princess Celestia had not much else to be thankful for in her current situation.

Barely an hour had passed since everything had come back in a flash, figuratively and literally, turning the little bump on her forehead in a shining white horn when it felt like a lost piece of herself pushed back into her with force.

An hour she had used to its fullest for getting the gist of the current situation. Somehow her body had been stolen from her by an unknown entity, posing as her in the public eye. The lack of civil unrest spoke for the imposters ability to play her part in public, although it worried Celestia how many outrageous stories had popped up in just a week’s worth of time.

Especially the stories concerning the love affair with her own sister.

Above all else, Celestia needed more information to make an informed decision. She didn’t know the gender, race, powers, motivations or anything about her opponent. How did the imposter go unnoticed under so many ponies close to her like Luna and Twilight? What was the goal of annexing her throne and using this newfound power to turn Ponyville into the party central of Equestria?

Too many questions with no satisfying answers.

She had no real plan for the confrontation, but time was of the essence and didn’t allow for her usual approach. Or better yet, it needed the approach that had become the usual to an annoying degree; Having faith in Twilight to solve the problem.

After arriving in Ponyville, she needed to contact her student without raising attention. The body thief most likely knew her new form, betting on Celestia staying without memories and far away from any place she could intervene.

The train arrived and she entered first, searching for a quiet waggon to use the long travel time for uninterrupted thinking. The first few waggons she walked through were packed to the brim with ponies and other creatures, chatting about their shared destination of Ponyville. Excitement hung in the air as Celestia picked up bits and pieces of conversations about the large celebration in progress.

In other circumstances, she would have welcomed bringing her citizens closer together in celebration, but having it completely out of her control and being clueless about the true intentions behind it soured the experience and mood of the solar monarch.

Soon, she arrived at the last waggon as one of the train stewards came out with his trolley of snacks and beverages, closing the door behind him with a sigh and wiping the sweat from his brow.

“I would advise you to look for a seat in another waggon. The pony inside has scared away all the other travellers and doesn’t want to be disturbed since boarding in the Crystal Empire.”

“I don’t intend to bother anyone. A quiet train ride suits me just fine.”

The stallion shrugged and opened the door as quiet as possible. Celestia nodded and gave him a small smile as thanks and entered. As advertised, the waggon was deserted and spotless with no sign of belongings anywhere.

“Might as well find where this unpleasant pony is sitting to get a seat furthest away,” she thought, slowly inching down the aisle and scanning the rows as she passed them. “Looks like the passenger chose one of the last rows.”

She saw movement and a red mane poking over the headrest. The pony was facing the back of the train, forcing anypony to expose themselves to get a look. The interest of Celestia was piqued enough to approach and risk a little glance.

“I said I need nothing. Stop bothering me while I read.”

Princess Celestia had a perfect profile view on a face she never would have imagined seeing again, although the hope always had remained.

Sunset Shimmer.

Leaned against the backrest, eyes focused on a newspaper in her grasp, the mare looked like the day she had left Canterlot so many years ago. Fiery red and yellow mane, amber coat and piercing cyan eyes. Celestia’s eyes traveled to her cutie mark, unsure whether to risk the final confirmation of the mare’s identity, to find the familiar sun in red and yellow.

“Listen, I know you are trying to do your job, but seriously leave me alone or I will…” The agitated unicorn threw a glance towards Celestia for the first time and raised an eyebrow.

The usually so confident monarch was thrown so far off her game from this new development, she did a very stuttery and nervous impression that would have made Fluttershy proud. “I heard this waggon was empty and wanted to ask for permission to sit here.”

The nervous wince when Sunset sighed at her in an irritated manner was also spot-on, but her former student said nothing else before turning back to her newspaper. She glanced up again when the cushion of the seat opposite to her made a creaking sound from Celestia sitting down.

“You meant actually right here?”

“Is that bad?”

“Whatever.”

Both fell silent as one kept reading and the other feverishly re-evaluated the situation with her former student as a new variable. One glance at the newspaper from the Crystal Empire quelled any doubt for how Sunset had returned. It wasn’t like there were any other entry points from the human world besides the magic mirror stored away at Cadence’s castle.

Celestia herself had it brought there to have it on hoof during the Princess Summit. Routinely like a clockwork when the portal opens, she sits for three days, waiting for Sunset to come home and getting the chance to fix one of her biggest regrets. She scolded herself for breaking the promise of staying vigil this time, even though realistically, nopony besides herself would fault her for that given the circumstance.

She swallowed hard to wet her dry throat and read the headlines.

Princess Summit canceled due to prolonged Equestrian Summer Sun celebration

Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor announce plans for a short vacation

Diplomatic relationship with Canterlot put into question

At this point, Celestia was convinced the world had gone mad and conspired against her just out of spite.

By planning the greatest celebration at the same time as the summit, her imposter made it look like Equestria was deliberately outdoing the efforts of the Crystal Empire. A grave insult Cadence couldn’t overlook or she would undermine the authority and legitimacy of her rule.

One problem at a time though. Ponyville and Sunset are more pressing matters.

“I’m Sunny.” Celestia introduced herself to the quietly reading Sunset, but besides a small snort, she didn’t show any acknowledgement.

“I’m headed to Ponyville.” A turn of the page and no sign Sunset was even listening. “My friends are there already, but I couldn’t join them until now.”

The cold shoulder from her travel companion made Celestia anxious. She wanted Sunset around for a multitude of reasons, many of them very personal and selfish. The way things have gone wrong with her were one of Celestia’s biggest regrets and maybe fate had given her an opportunity to make things right.

If only she could get through to her. “Do you have plans in Ponyville? Maybe we could…”

The newspaper folded closed and was tossed aside. Sunset’s eyes and attention rested now sorely on Celestia. “What is the point of this whole charade? Part of me was curious at first, but I refuse to play these silly mind games.”

Her cyan eyes were the same as the day she left. Orbs full of anger and frustration against her, only closing for a low chuckle. “I don’t know how you found me so quickly, but did you really think I wouldn’t recognize you?”

Celestia could feel her heart clench then release with a sudden flow of warmth.

“I mean honestly… Sunny?” Sunset was now openly laughing. “And maybe you should have asked for my name at one point, making it not so blindingly obvious that you already know who I am.”

Somepony recognized her.

The laughing stopped and so did all the levity from her voice. “So, what’s going to happen when we arrive in Ponyville? A flock of guards storming the train? Public trial for the runaway student? Prison or banishment?”

Two hooves flung around the wary Sunset in a shaky hug who stiffened under the sudden body contact.

“I missed you so much...” Weak efforts to push the smaller unicorn off were made and were getting weaker by the second, until Celestia hugged somepony as still as a corpse. “I never stopped waiting for your return. I never stopped hoping for a chance to amend for my mistakes thirty years ago.”

A muffled gasp rang through the room, followed by the sound and sight of Sunset activating her magic to levitate the tossed newspaper back. Eyes scanned frantically over the page to find evidence for the obvious lie, but a single glance at the date made all that hope fruitless.

“Time and space is unsteady through travel between dimensions. Days and even seconds can amount to years on the other side. My only solace was the certainty that I could use my immortality to wait, no matter how long it would take.” The last inch of space between their bodies vanished as the struggle of Sunset ceased and Celestia felt the reassuring pressure of getting hugged back. “I’m sorry, so sorry for letting you go.”

The door to the waggon slid open with a bang, the steward from earlier getting pushed inside with his food cart. The single pony had no chance against the colorful group of disgruntled drunkards forcing entrance. A wild mix of stallions, griffons and even a minotaur, most likely extending their weekend in Las Pegasus by celebrating the grand finale in Ponyville.

“Stay here…” Sunsets voice was trembling as she withdrew from the hug and wiped at her eyes, getting up and walking down the aisle with determination.

The familiar golden glow surrounded the horn of Sunset and Celestia had to act fast. Her charge had always been a sweet and polite little filly to ponies she respected, but otherwise made a name for herself with the scarily short fuse named her patience.

If push came to shove, Sunset always used a hoof to the face.

“It’s Sunny!” One of the younger griffins shouted, pointing at her and looking around for his pals to see their reaction. The rest examined the approaching Celestia closer, gasping in unison as a green stallion joined in pointing with his hoof. “By Celestia’s teats you are right!”

The little mare flinched and went as pink as her mane from the crude usage of her name. She knew ponies had implemented various phrases regarding her anatomy in the common vocabulary, but nopony used them in her presence for obvious reasons.

“How lucky can we get? I mean, what are the chances we get to meet two staples of the mare shack on the same train?”

As if waiting for a signal to enter, the door slid open again and in strode a stunningly beautiful unicorn mare in pristine baby blue coat and sparkling sapphire mane. The newcomer almost floated over the ground with her long slender legs and the hypnotizing sway in her hips, earning the attention of every male in the room.

”Guys, I asked you ten minutes ago to find a place to sit with a cold drink. I’m not used to having to repeat myself, so…”

“Chrissy!” Celestia’s mouth and body moved before her mind could catch up, reacting in a natural way to her newest friend and former work partner. The ingrained reflex also wasn’t taking the new horn into account, so the mare had to swerve her neck left to avoid a pierced windpipe. The glomp hit in full force anyway, toppling the bigger beauty onto her haunches.

The aforementioned Crystal Glamour fondly called “Chrissy”, acted how seemed appropriate to their reunion by poking the white horn sharply with a hoof. “That’s new.”

Celestia jerked from the rough treatment and regained her composure just in time to see Sunset looking at them with a raised eyebrow. “Sunset meet my good friend Crystal Glamour.”

Crystal shoved the smaller mare off and clicked her tongue once towards the male group, letting one of them brush off the dust from her body. “Friends is stretching the term.”

The resulting laugh of Sunny made Crystal’s neck hairs stand on end. It wasn’t the childish giggle she was used to but a calm and very sophisticated laughter.

And she hated it with a passion.

“Chrissy I want you to meet Sunset Shimmer, somepony precious to me from my former life.”

The introduced unicorn didn’t get more than a glance from Crystal and the sudden tenseness wasn’t lost on Celestia. Sunset never gotten along with ponies, once she had built an opinion on them. Even now, Celestia witnessed her former student processing the available data on Crystal to form a complete image, rather than attempting to get to know the mare.

In stark contrast, Crystal appeared to be the kind of mare that always was above the worries of an ordinary pony.

What Celestia didn’t know, the personality behind “Crystal Glamour” didn’t care for ponies period.

“Maybe we should talk more in private.” Sunset threw alternating glances towards the large group and the seductive source of their worship, who disregarded them with a dismissive wave.

“Get lost.”

Disappointed groans rang through the train and were silenced by a glare from Crystal. They all left like sheep being herded out of the waggon with vacant stares and before the door closed behind the last stallion, Crystal had already lain down on two of Sunset’s and Celestia’s former group of four seats.

“Let’s get this over with. Who are you and why are you even more annoying than before?”

Celestia smirked and opened her mouth, only to be interrupted by the sound of the door opening for a fourth time. “As your security advisor and husband, I’m strongly against going out without guards. Whoever is in there scared away a very rowdy looking bunch.”

The hoofsteps of two ponies were getting closer.

“Don’t be such a worrywart. My strong, capable prince is all I need to keep me safe, aren’t you?”

“Yes, dear.”

They were a stallion and a mare according to their voices

“Maybe the issue with the Crystal Empire can be solved sooner than I imagined.” Celestia thought gleefully in recognition and took a sip from her orange juice.

The reaction of Crystal to the new voices made Celestia’s pale in comparison. In a split second, the blue beauty froze in her lying position like a toppled statue, grabbing the seat cushion underneath until the soft filling spilled out through a tear.

“You!”

Crystal sprang up from her lying position with a look of grim determination to face the pony pointing and yelling in her direction. Pink, colorful and styled in an almost cotton candy sugary look that not many could pull off well, stood the current ruler from the Crystal Empire with her husband Shining Armor in tow.

Princess Cadence made her great entrance and Celestia saw determination turn to confusion on Crystal’s face as the pink hoof pointed past her and towards Sunset Shimmer. “You are the mare fleeing from the castle this morning.”

Sunset stared at Cadence with a contempt which intensified tenfold after her eyes landed on the folded pink wings. “What do you want?”

The icy tone and attitude against her didn’t faze Cadence. “Sunset Shimmer, right? I saw your pictures in Celestia’s private study and read the entries about you in her diary.”

A large cloud of orange mist flew over the group from a giant spittake of juice. While Celestia maintained a sophisticated and professional demeanor in public, her private quarter and especially the diary she kept there were places of selfish indulgence. She considered it therapeutic to stop worrying about outward appearance for a while and just write what lingered deep in her heart.

Sweat started to form on Celestia’s eyebrow during her coughing fit from the thought of somepony reading more interesting parts in that small booklet.

The knowing grin on the face of Cadence suggested her reading had been thorough. “I see it as my royal duty to reunite the two of you.”

“You’re late. We already started without you.” Sunset said dripping wet and sticky in a dry tone, pointing at a coughing Celestia.

Through the sudden attention, the princess almost slipped back into the persona of Sunny. The week as different pony had left its mark on the monarch, despite or maybe because of the fondness for those new memories away from the throne. Sunny was a mare without worries or real responsibilities and giving up on that freedom gave even the dedicated Celestia a reason for pause.

“My niece interrupted us, so let me try again.” Celestia had stopped coughing and took a deep breath, “Customers of a nightclub in Las Pegasus know me as Sunny, the clumsy and naïve earthpony singer that scrubs the toilets between sets.”

“I offered more than once to find a better job for her, but she kept pestering me with the silly reason of liking my company,” Crystal said to the flabbergasted Sunset, avoiding to look at the confused Cadence and Shining Armor, who let Celestia continue without interruption.

“Because it’s true. Despite the questionable nature of my employment, I cherished every second of that week and all the ponies I’ve met, especially you Chrissy.” Celestia looked into the group of faces before her, knowing the time had come to stop talking in circles and to just get it over with. “I am Princess Celestia.”

Bluntness and repercussions be damned, it felt good saying it out loud!

The stunned silence from three of four ponies was a reaction Celestia had expected to get, using the chance to get it all out like ripping off a bandaid. “A week ago, my real body was taken from me. I woke up as a small earth pony without memories, hundreds of miles away from Canterlot in a pile of garbage behind an alley. Only recently, my memories returned with this horn. As a matter of fact, it’s been two hours at most.”

“Can you proof your claims in any way? It sounds far-fetched, doesn’t it Cady?”

The look of Cadence showed the same doubt as her husband, but the princess didn’t reply to him as her staring contest with Sunset Shimmer had ended and shifted towards Celestia. Sunset fixated a spot on the floor while listening, deep in thought after hearing about the predicament of her former teacher.

The only pony having less and less of an expression as the explanation went on was Crystal Glamour, and her interjection took everypony by surprise. “If it’s true, it’s rather brilliant. The imposter changed places with a public figure that anypony knows but nopony knows well. The only ponies close to her are either in a position of blind admiration, busy with running another country or haven’t interacted with Celestia for over a thousand years.”

Genuine sadness overcame Celestia from the realization that there was truth in those words.

“Even more so, the unique and personal traits the imposter has shown while pretending to be Celestia only helped with the endeavour.” The questioning looks all around showed Crystal the need to elaborate further. “Simple example: We don’t know which tea Celestia likes to drink and the imposter suddenly drinks mint tea. Ponies won’t question it and think they have learned something new about Celestia, associating one imposter trait with the persona of the original.”

Celestia felt a cold chill running down her spine.

“Little by little, the imposter changes the perception of Celestia by filling the blanks, until ponies will swear the original was the fake.” The ghost of a smile appeared on Crystal’s face. “And I can’t think of nopony easier to do this with than Princess Celestia. Who can say for certain how their ruler acts when she lets her hair down? What are her likes and dislikes? Her hopes and dreams?”

Sunset frowned. “The longer the imposter can act, the harder it will get to convince the masses of the truth.”

Shining Armor frowned as well. “Miss, it sounds like you speak from experience.”

The small smile of Crystal vanished. “I had a few bad interactions with changelings in the past.”

“We are getting ahead of ourselves, don’t we?” Cadence said in a slow and deliberate manner, “How about you provide us with a proof of your claims?”

“My successor isn’t capable of figuring out a way to be sure?” Sunset shot back with venom in her voice. “Is that the reason she chose yet another student? What was the name of this golden foal? Twilight Sparkle?”

Being challenged and her merit put into question, Cadence rose to Sunset’s provocation and turned towards Celestia. “What did you say to me on the day I told you about my plans to marry Shining Armor?"

“To not do it.”

“And how did I reply? The exact words, please!” The tone had changed from conversational to an all-out interrogation, a bright light shining in her face the only thing missing to complete the picture.

“You said…” The millennia old mind recalled the scene as if it had happened yesterday. “I don’t give a flying buck what you think. If you can’t be happy about my decision, don’t show up at the wedding!”

“It’s really you…” Cadence pulled her aunt into a hug.

The tender scene between the two made Shining Armor smile and he turned towards the two other mares to see their reactions. He instantly regretted that decision. Crystal Glamour looked as uninterested as ever, only doing weird occasional flickering with her tongue and moving her jaw in chewing motions. As she noticed his eyes on her, the blue bombshell made it a point to emphasize the movement of her dexterous muscle by making it slither like a snake.

The stallion attributed this behaviour to general weirdness and hoped to find something more normal in Celestia’s former student.

He found something much worse. His trained sense of danger was tingling from the burning look of anger from this mare, even though, Shining Armor wasn’t the intended target. The seasoned guardpony flinched when Sunset ground her teeth together strong enough to draw blood from her gums.

“Isn’t that goddamn sweet?”

“Sunset?”

“Aren’t you glad one of your good students came along? You almost had to settle for me. Can you imagine it?” Sunset Shimmer stood up with a red ruby firmly clutched in her hoof, glowing dimly in tandem with her horn. “Enjoy the quality time with your precious niece, while the black sheep takes care of business!”

“Sunset wait!” A fierce red light was the only warning before the embedded magic charge of the stone released to fulfill a singular purpose Celestia recognized far too late.

A moment later and the amber unicorn had disappeared.

“Long range teleportation spell...” Celestia muttered to herself, having a pretty good idea about the destination.

Sunset was prepared as always and had never let go of her escape route, ready to use it at a moment’s notice. Using a mana-infused stone as an amplifier for spells was as brilliant as it was reckless, fitting for the lifestyle of her former student. Celestia had to admit how impressed she was by the feat.

Teleportation was a difficult spell under normal circumstances and said difficulty went higher exponentially with distance. The necessary higher output of magic muddled with the accuracy and causes most unicorns to overshoot their destination by miles. Powering a spell like this through a fully charged magic stone was a surefire way to overshoot by countries.

Fortunately for Sunset, Celestia considered her one of the few unicorns who could pull this off with pinpoint precision. If magical prowess and ambition to use it had been the only requisites for ascension, Celestia would have turned over the throne to Sunset after her first year of tuition.

She wouldn’t mess up the spell, because ability had never been the problem.

“Celestia, where did your other friend go?”

Unless she didn’t travel alone.

“Oh, no…”

The wondrous spell of teleportation was revered even among the class of high level magic. The power to change the position of mass in an instant had sheer endless potential, and so it was only fitting for Sunset Shimmer to have made it her signature spell. Nevertheless, the unicorn felt like chewed up and spit out when the familiar wave of nausea hit from the magic backlash.

She took a deep breath and counted to ten, trying to regain composure from the task that turned out much more draining than calculated. Only amateurs leave things to chance and one glance around showed her, that the error didn’t come from missing the target.

The outskirts of a small town, filled to the brim with booths, attractions and festival decorations. In the sky above hovered a massive golden airship, casting its shadow over the center in the distance. A multitude of festival goers walked by, a pot-pourri of colors and races enjoying themselves to the fullest.

Ponyville, the new party central of the world.

Sunset didn’t miss, so what went wrong to make her this exhausted?

The answer came in the form of groaning and a wet sound as unhealthy looking green liquid splashed on the ground left to her. Being prepared for a long range teleportation is taxing enough, but being whisked away as passenger without control was ten times worse.

Queen Chrysalis, still in disguise as Crystal Glamour, demonstrated this effectively by throwing up everywhere.

“How are you still standing?” Sunset Shimmer felt wobbly and almost stepped on the caustic puddle that started to glow in neon-green. “What… are you?”

The last droplets of acid vomit dripped off Crystal’s chin and she wiped off the remaining residue with her hoof. The changeling monarch didn’t believe in fate, but this opportunity had to be taken or she would regret it for the rest of her life. Hitching a ride with the cocksure dropout had been as easy as grabbing on at the right moment.

Besides the health hazard of unplanned teleporting, risks were high this deep in enemy territory and one wrong move could destroy everything. Even so, she needed to make this new powerful party her thrall or at least an ally. The method of the imposter showed a kindred spirit to their kind and maybe there was some common ground to sink her fangs into.

“I asked you a question!”

If only there hadn’t been this perfect specimen for unresolved mommy issues on her case. Chrysalis felt too weak and drained from the magic travel to think with confidence she could win a fight against one of Celestia’s students. Nonetheless, she called upon her reserves as did Sunset to duke it out, when a voice cut the building tension.

“Could you two move?”

Both did a slow turn towards the entrance of a small Equestria version of a gas station they both had missed somehow up to his point. Their eyes fell on slender white legs and their eyes had to travel upwards to see the face of Princess Celestia.

“You are blocking the exit.”

Seeing the features of her former mentor rattled Sunset more than meeting the body displaced original. Whatever she did, the massive stature of the princess always demanded attention if not reverence from the surrounding ponies. Somehow this feeling wasn’t diminished by the giant afro made of frizzled rainbow hair, brown stains down the white chest or the grocery bag filled with questionable adult literature.

Sunset took the initiative with blurting out the first thing that came to her mind. “Princess Celestia, I have returned from the magic mirror to make amends!”

The heart of Sunset did a jump when magenta eyes fixated on her and widened, giving the first possible clue about her opponent. Hesitation showed insecurity and caution, which led her to believe the information about Celestia wasn’t spotless and the fake didn’t recognize her.

She had one way to find out. “It’s been so long and I’m so sorry to….”

The large mass of flesh and feathers in front of her sprang into motion and sprang into motion fast. Sunset saw her life flash before her eyes as the only possible explanation for the alicorn’s action in her opinion was to smash the nuisance into a paste. She imagined those massive but elegant white hooves squeeze the life out of her body and shrieked at the first contact. But unlike imagined, the hooves around traveled from the impact zone on the shoulders down to her barrel and lifted the whole body of the unicorn like a doll.

“Water under the bridge my little Shimmy! Every teenager has a rebellious phase and should be excused by her parent as a youthful indiscretion.”

The response simultaneously elated and frightened Sunset. The friendly reaction of the imposter meant she was not getting annihilated for now, but she was still concerned because the enemy apparently knew her even though she’d been away for thirty years.

Although a word Sunset had heard tingled in the back of her head. “Wait a second… parent?”

The smile on the otherwise always regal face got even wider, as the massive alicorn spun around in a circle while still holding Sunset Shimmer like a puppy. “No matter what, mommy will always love her little Sunbun. Do you need money or a place to crash?”

“You… you would take me back in?”

“Sure, why not? We have so much to catch up on, now that my little sunshine is back in my life!” The eyes of Frank travelled to Sunset’s back. “No, that won’t do for a daughter of mine!”

The word daughter hit Sunset like a truck. She knew this wasn’t the real Celestia, but hearing such words from the familiar voice of her past mentor figure subverted all reason within the bitter unicorn.

“But there are certain rules and I can’t just break them, can I?” Sunset was stroked through her emotional rollercoaster like a cat while Frank mused loudly. “Ah what the hell, you have surely done something impressive with magic on your time away!”

Before Sunset could get over her new position as pampered house pet, she realized her body had floated upwards. The light emanating from her body blinded everyone around, including herself, until she felt being transported in a whole different way than the earlier teleportation.

While teleportation was in theory a displacement of mass that was so quick your senses only notices the change once it’s done, this movement felt like slow motion to the point Sunset could tell when every single atom of her body changed dimensions. Images flashed before her eyes of an endless room covered in fog and floating screens of her life, a stunning repeat of the fear induced flashback.

She saw her good. She saw her bad.

The trip through memory lane ended suddenly during a vicious scene of her last argument with Celestia before leaving Equestria. She remembered the angry words spoken towards her mentor on that day by heart, but seeing her actions from the outside gave the whole situation a weird detached feeling.

The numerous Celestias on the screens looked like they always did with a condescending half-smile as if she would talk to a bratty teenager, showcasing the stark contrast to the current one besides Sunset with a bag of popcorn. “There’s usually a whole song and ritual involved in this, but I don’t think you are the type of pony who enjoys all the bells and whistles.”

“What is the point of...?” Sunset stopped mid-question as she realized that the imposter was watching the floating screens around them with rapt attention. She didn’t scare easily, but the implications of the current situation filled the little unicorn with a healthy dose of worry.

The imposter had gained access to her memories in an almost casual manner, robbing Sunset Shimmer of a vital advantage in their future confrontation. If the same had happened with other ponies close to Celestia, the plan of unmasking the fraud by revealing a lack of knowledge was off the table immediately.

Luckily, she had a few more ideas.

“I think we are done here.” Frank said, tossing the empty bag.

Another flash of light and she stood back in the same spot in Ponyville with an unfamiliar weight on her back. She took a hoof to brush the object from her shoulders and touched feathers. Frantically, Sunset traced along the plumage and found the point where it connected with her flesh.

“You… you did…”

The alicorn population of Ponyville had risen by one.

“Speechless? See it as late sweet sixteen gift from your loving mother.” A gust of wind hit Sunset as Frank showed his impressive wingspan. “Don’t be shy give em a spin.”

After a few tries, Sunset did her first tentative flaps of her new and beautiful amber wings and was soon hovering in place with constant small wing beats. The rush of excitement pushed the new alicorn to zoom around like a hummingbird under the watchful gaze of her senior who sported the biggest grin imaginable.

From one moment to the next, Sunset Shimmer had gained the ability to prove everyone wrong. The initial plan had been to get her wings from Celestia by outdoing the competition in solving this crisis, but doing so in a form that the princess refused to give her was so much sweeter. She would show anypony how much she deserved princesshood and how much better things would have been if her stubborn teacher had listened to Sunset’s request.

Everything to become the greatest princess ever!

The first hurdle in accomplishing this goal was to figure out her new self-proclaimed mother figure. Possible ulterior motives or not, the stranger had given her a real chance, more than she ever gotten from the real Celestia. She won’t be fooled into thinking this gift came with no strings attached, but the benefits of playing along were obviously too great to pass up on.

“Who’s your friend?”

Frank’s harmless question made the mare and changeling aware of each other again and tension flared back up in an instant. The two didn’t know where the allegiances of the imposter lied and how he would react to news like the impending arrival of the real Celestia, their knowledge of his identity or the fact Crystal Glamour wasn’t a real pony.

Nothing would be gained by being hasty and both parties involved had enough experience to know that, so they exchanged a meaningful look and a barely noticeable nod.

They would settle this between themselves later.

“She’s a friend I made on the ride to Ponyville. Her name is Crystal Glamour.”

Chrysalis opened her mouth to speak as the alicorn drew closer for a hoofshake, but the moment they came in within a few feet of each other, she almost buckled under the assault on her senses. The aura of emotions radiating from the body of her hated nemesis Celestia was so different, the changeling would have recognized the alicorn as a fake with her eyes and ears closed.

On instinct, she used her powers to get a reading of the being, stealthily and invisible to the naked eye.

The flavour hit the former queen like a freight train. She never had tasted anything like this before, a rich and mouth-watering pool of emotions causing havoc on her taste buds like fireworks. The largest part of the cocktail was concern for her, a usually blander dish compared to this delectable morsel.

“Amazing, simply amazing!” She fed and fed in infuriatingly small sips to stay undetected, when something unexpected happened; a growing pressure around her stomach and chest. The changeling panicked and sped up her feeding, but soon felt something she never felt before.

Chrysalis was full.

Somehow, the imposter had provided enough emotions to sate her endless hunger without becoming a dead-eyed empty shell.

Changeling folklore had old tales of such beings, creatures that never ran out of love to feed on. Their appearance always followed a long era of prosperity for changelings as they were cared for by the hive like valuable commodities until they inevitably died of natural causes.

This specimen right before her nose, rare and precious beyond worth, would live for all eternity.

The knees of Chrysalis buckled again, this time from the weight of this revelation.

*Gurgl*

Followed by a painful churn of her guts.

Overeating in her condition hadn’t been the best idea, but at least the puke came out in a much more pleasing and non-acidic hot pink.

Sweet, love saturated mucus that looked quite dashing against pristine white coat.

“So much for a good first impression…” Chrysalis thought as magical jetlag, food coma and embarrassment took its toll, her body collapsing forward into the soft yet sticky chest of her ticket back into the hive. “But I like a good challenge...”

Author's Note

I added the Alternate Universe tag, because I changed a lot from canon in this chapter (Let alone the multitude of changes in earlier chapters)

Because I was so long away, I edit chapters on my own again, so I'm thankful for anyone pointing out errors. (English isn't my native language and I'm not as practised anymore)

If you have the time, tell me what you thought about this chapter.

And of course... obvious title reference is obvious:trollestia:. (Turn on the sound)

Sunset's mom has got it goin' on

“The hospital should think about installing a revolving door. We come here often enough.”

Rarity knew jokes weren’t her strong suit, but she had hoped to bring back a little levity to the dreary atmosphere of the waiting room at Ponyville hospital. One glance at her princess peers and that hope died a quick and painless death. It still felt weird to see herself as royalty, watching Twilight and Luna sit as far as possible from each other on the same bench. The fashionista frowned when both tried constantly not to fall off from sitting too far on the edge.

Luna and Twilight Sparkle had entered a weird state of silent tolerance for each other. Even though the tempers had cooled somewhat, their earlier kerfuffle in the library was still fresh on both minds. It also didn’t help that Luna had already known about the fire and hadn’t thought about telling two of Applejack’s best friends, further souring the mood between the two alicorns.

They had arrived at the apple family home without a single leaf out of place and three of Applejack’s newest employees holding the fort; Flim, Flam and a very convincing body double of Big Macintosh named Crusher.

A quick recap later, Twilight and her royal colleagues knew that Applejack was now the richest mare in all of Equestria, the orchard miraculously fixed itself through magic and the family had regained two members as a bonus. Two very dear family members who should have been very dead and were rushed to the hospital to make sure it stayed that way.

Back in the present, the three princesses all coped differently with the news and remaining gaps of information while they waited for the tests to end. Royalty or not, hospital regulations allowed only family to be present outside of visiting hours and putting into account the doctors were doing a health examination on former corpses, it was safe to say the procedure wouldn’t be done quick.

Enough time to ponder the recent events.

“What’s up with the world lately?” Twilight held her head in both hooves and stared at the floor. “I’m used to having a hectic life since I’ve come to Ponyville but this is ridiculous!” Her head shot up to look at Rarity. “Am I wrong?”

“It’s been more than the usual amount of craziness, darling,” Rarity said, looking at her white wings with a dreamy sigh. “It’s not all bad though. So what if Applejack’s parents have come back from the dead? Isn’t that a wonderful miracle?”

“Yes, but…”

“What Twilight tries to say, if you ignore the inane rambling,” Luna said with a straight face, ignoring the daggers Twilight stared at her, "The existence and possibility of resurrection magic has widespread implications on magic theory.”

“How widespread?” Rarity asked, shuddering at the thought of how little she knew about magic compared to the vast power she now possessed.

Twilight groaned. “Enough to throw away all textbooks more advanced than elementary school. If this is true, the fundamental principles of magic have to be rewritten and rediscovered, starting with finding out who did it and how it occurred,” the purple alicorn spoke the next part louder. “But somepony won’t let us do our duty as princesses and rather make us wait!”

The nurse at the reception desk harrumphed and turned the page on her magazine. “No visits from non-family outside visiting hours. No exceptions!”

Twilight grumbled and sank back into the bench. “Where is Celestia? She’s been gone for hours!”

Rarity answered Twilight’s question with another question. “Did anyone send Princess Celestia a message to tell her where she could find us?”

Luna and Twilight looked at each other and spoke at the same time. “I thought you did!?”

“She’s your sister!”

“You are her little pet project!”

Rarity pondered if ascension was worth the hassle. If her two examples for prolonged princesshood were anything to measure it on, immortality seemed to be the bare minimum necessity to make it in this field of work. She stood up and cracked her neck, ready to throw herself between the two once again to stop a possible double regicide and sighed in relief when Celestia came through the opening door. The entrance of the fourth alicorn put a damper on the rising tension by her sheer appearance.

The seamstress had seen the princess in various states of dress during this week, one more ridiculous than the next, but the current ensemble took the cake. It started with the dreadful ball of poofy mane on her head and ended with the huge splotches of pink all across her chest and face.

“Are those the melodic shriekings of my sweet baby sister and my most faithful student that I hear?” Frank asked, cringing from the sound of somepony clearing her throat just outside of view and he quickly spoke to in hushed tones. “You know how I meant that my little Sunbun. Mommy loves you in a different but equally special way.”

The three alicorns inside heard a little sniffle. “I need a moment…”

Frank took a step into the hospital and his jovial demeanor turned off. “So what’s going on here? Somebody got hurt again?”

The sudden mood shift of her sister perturbed Luna. “Nothing of the sort Tia… It’s just ...the apple family is...” She tried to focus, but the silly afro compared to the dead serious expression influenced her ability to concentrate. “I’m sorry, but what happened to your mane and who is that pony draped over your back? And why do you smell like melted cinnamon buns?”

The blue mare on Frank’s back stirred with a moan and he adjusted his posture to make her more comfortable. Satisfied with her new position, Frank answered in lightning round fashion with a mask of no nonsense. “Discord happened. Crystal Glamour, a friend of my daughter. She threw up on me. A lot.”

“What?!”

Frank’s mood flipped again with a noticeable twitch, back to genuinely happy and go lucky. “I know, right? It was quite the fountain, so my little Sunbun and I decided to have her checked up to make sure it’s nothing serious.”

Twilight said what everybody was thinking. “Not that! The second part! You… you have a daughter?”

Frank’s expression blanked for full ten seconds, before his mind turned back into gear. “Of course, you never met! How silly of me to forget! I hope it’s just mental cobwebs and I’m not getting senile at my old age. Sunset, do you want to introduce yourself?”

Luna, Twilight and Rarity watched an amber alicorn with fiery red mane enter the waiting room. She walked confidently and radiated authority, self-taught from a very young age to prepare for her debut as a princess. In the presence of fellow royalty, she had gone all-out with accessories. The ensemble consisted of golden hoofslippers and a necklace emblazoned with her cutie mark, topped off by a small gem encrusted crown.

“Hello, I am Sunset Shimmer. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Twilight and Rarity gaped at the newcomer like a fish. Luna wore a small frown and looked back and forth between Frank and Sunset. Her jaw began working as she compared their similar cutie marks, eyes turning to snake-like slits for a split second.

The lack of a verbal response forced Frank to do the introduction for them. “These lovely young mares are Twilight Sparkle and Rarity, two of the six elements of harmony and your juniors.”

The two addressed alicorns were still gaping at Sunset, making the whole situation unnecessary awkward for Frank’s taste. Thankfully, he turned to Luna who introduced herself. “I am Princess Luna, shepherd of the moon, sovereign of the night and apparently your… aunt.” Frank received a glare from his marefriend that could have melted steel. “Who impregnated your womb? Who laid hooves on you in my absence, sister?”

Frank began sweating and pulled Sunset close to put a hoof around her shoulder. “Nopony, Luna! My muffin remains unbuttered. Little Shimmy here is adopted, but I love her as if she were my own.”

Sunset blushed from the side hug, getting more stares and glares from the remaining princesses.

“Why did you never mention anything about her?”

Frank and Sunset shared a glance after Twilight’s question, ended by a small wink from the larger alicorn. Sunset understood and let her ‘mentor’ take the stage. “The nature of her studies are critical to national security. There are other types of magic than the magic of friendship and some of them are not for the faint of heart. In fact, many of them aren’t even originating from Equestria.”

Rarity, as the least magically inclined of the group, needed a clarification. “As in not from this continent?”

Sunset waited for a moment to see if Frank would say something and answered when nothing came out of his mouth. “As in not from this world.”

The proclamation had the intended effect of stunning the three remaining alicorns. Twilight especially, had a look of pure wonder in her eyes as she stared at Sunset Shimmer, who was suddenly very uncomfortable under the intense scrutiny.

Feeling mischievous, Frank added more fuel to the fire. “Consider my little Shimmy a dimension-traveling magic explorer extraordinaire!”

A purple blur flew from the bench across the room, stopping a hair’s breadth in front of the startled Sunset. Twilight forgot all sense of personal space for magic studies and showed it by almost standing muzzle to muzzle with her predecessor. “How did you compensate for the temporal fluctuations between dimensions?”

“I didn’t...” Sunset drew back, uncomfortable with their proximity that was close enough to smell Twilight’s mint mouthwash and lavender shampoo.

Twilight didn’t seem to notice or care, stretching her head out to follow Sunset’s retreating face and this time touching snouts. “But the time shifts must have cost you years!”

The miscalculation and obliviousness to the consequences of her impromptu dimensional escape from Equestria still irked Sunset. She considered herself to be above doing unnecessary mistakes and forgetting about this important detail, regardless of her emotional state at the time, was unacceptable for somepony with such high standards.

It frustrated Sunset even more that her replacement had thought about it instantly. “Thirty to be exact.”

Another round of gasps rang through the room and grated on Sunset’s nerve before Rarity, the least competent in her eyes, had to add her two bits. “Wasn’t that awful? To be separated from all your friends and family for such a long time? To have them grow old without you?”

“My only family is immortal and I have no use for friends. The magic of friendship, as ridiculous as it may sound, is Ms. Sparkle’s expertise and not mine.”

This time, it was Twilight who pulled back. Her head instantly turned towards Frank to see the outrage in her mentor’s eyes and was shocked when she found none. Frank just shrugged off the obvious blasphemy against the bedrock of her magical studies. “Your decision, I guess.”

“You guess…?”

“What?” Frank asked, confused about the frazzled state of his purple protegee. “Do you want me to force her to make friends?”

Twilight was about to blow her casket. “You did the same to me!”

It was hard for him to argue when the initial premise of the show was exactly that. A princess sending her socially awkward student to make friends as the only hope for saving her sister, not telling her beforehand about the plan to prevent Twilight from backing out.

It sounded to Frank like the behaviour of a colossal douchebag. “Huh… I did do that.”

“I think we have more urgent matters to discuss than the validity of friendship magic,” Luna cut in, ignoring the frustrated huff of Twilight. “What will be the purpose of your daughter, now that she has returned?”

“My succession.” Another round of gasps, this time from Sunset as well, and Frank wanted to expedite the process. “Yes, I know shocking. Can we move this along please?“

The indifferent attitude left him quickly from two blue hooves wringing his neck for answers. “Then explain yourself, you dolt! What do you mean with this nonsense? You want to retire?”

Luna getting angry enough to swear at him was a surefire signal for Frank to start damage control, before everything went to shit. “Not anytime soon and definitely not without you. When the time comes to resign, voluntarily or by necessity, I want somepony to take my place on the throne. Who else would be more suited than my own daughter?”

Rarity and Luna glanced towards Twilight, who had a very conflicted expression on her face. They recognized the signs of somepony who isn’t sure what to feel. Relieved because she didn’t have to take responsibility or insulted because she wasn’t even a choice?

“Uggghhh.”

Like a gift from the gods, Chrysalis had come to her senses to make her presence known, giving Frank the perfect reason to put a pin on this discussion. “Ms. Glamour, I am so sorry that we got so sidetracked in your time of need.” Frank leaned down to the pudgy earthpony mare at the reception to read her name tag. “Excuse me, Ms… Stoneheart… lovely name by the way... my friend here needs medical attention!”

“What are the symptoms?” Nurse Stoneheart asked, not even looking up while pulling out a piece of paper from a drawer.

You wouldn’t have been able to tell if Frank took offense to the lackluster treatment by the unwavering smile on his face. “Throwing up liquid cotton candy, fainting spells and stomach pains.”

The nurse wrote the information on a form, put it on a clipboard, and handed it to Frank. “We are shorthooved on personnel at the moment, so would you fill out this paper and bring her to Room 16 down the floor on your own? The doctor will look at her as soon as the team is finished with the apple family.”

“Lovely, thank you very much for your time.” The continued politeness earned Frank a small smile from the reserved mare as he filled out the paper with a name and a few bullet points before handing it back. “Ladies, why don’t you get to know each other more? I will rejoin you in a moment after dropping off Ms. Glamour.”

“Tia wait!” Luna yelled, but he had walked further into the hospital and she was blocked from following by the nurse who tsk-tsked at their approach. It meant that the princess of the night had to go back to her seat with a pout and wait for her sister to return.

Meanwhile, Frank fought the urge to whistle a little tune while he gained distance from the complete mess behind him. It felt like an eternity ago since he had a moment for himself to think about life and overall he was very content with how things were going.

There had been some bumps lately, but nothing he couldn’t persevere through.

After all, his magical dry spell has been blown away, the festival was going smoothly and the return of Sunset would expedite his retirement dramatically. He had no illusions about his ability to run a country and while playing ruler had been fun, Frank had the inkling it would be better for everyone involved to find something else for him.

Something like a far tropical island, sharing a drink with Luna on a towel, wearing matching bikinis and watching the sun set over the ocean.

“Just a bit more Frank. You can do it!”

Frank entered the hospital room full of vigor and hope for the future, only to feel it drain away by the first look at the other patient in the room halfway cast in darkness.

“Goddammit…” One flash of light and the ridiculous afro was gone, his mane back to how it was before, long wavy and regal looking. The stains on his coat didn’t come out for some reason, the pink sludge unusually resistant to be magicked away.

The bed closer to the door was empty and Frank lowered the mare on his back gently on it, before approaching the already occupied bed. Every free space around it was plastered with presents in all shapes and sizes. Lots of balloons and Get-well cards also, although the opened ones all had the same hoofwritten signature.

The little patient was lying among this wealth like a dead fish, uncaring and expressionless, staring at the ceiling with the right eye.

The other eye was milky without iris, surrounded by large patches of burned flesh and skin with a thick layer of salve on top.

Diamond Tiara had seen better days.

“Are you here to pile on my misery?” The voice coming out of the small filly was level and composed. “I can’t imagine how it could get any worse, but recent events showed me there is no end to the ways life can just suck.”

Frank had sat on enough barstools in smoke-filled bars to know when somebody wasn’t looking for input and just needed to vent their frustration, so he made himself more comfortable and listened to the existential ramblings of a ten-year-old.

Life can be weird like that.

“The whole apple family is two rooms down the floor, happy and smiling from ear to ear after their orchard just magically puffed back into existence. The orchard I burned down under the great cost of the photogenic side of my face.” Diamond Tiara began to bang the back of her head into the headboard. “But making my efforts pointless wasn’t enough, was it? No, Apple Bloom had to get something extra as well to make it extra insulting.”

Besides the therapeutic value for the little filly, Frank also gained valuable information about the current situation and remained silent.

“Have your mom and dad back, why don’t you? Of course, them being dead and buried for years is no obstacle in making her happy. Could it be any more perfect for precious little Apple Bloom? She’s been reunited with her loving parents, her sister is a national hero and the whole family became stinking rich over night!”

Frank did a deep sigh, the first audible reaction to Diamond’s story and visibly upsetting the child, so he raised his hooves in apology. “Not to sound too uncaring about your blight, but you should be thankful it went this way. It was the best possible outcome.”

Diamond Tiara didn’t throw a tantrum or denied his statement. She gave the towering alicorn a calculating look way beyond her years while she listened to him.

“Let’s ignore for a moment you could have killed an innocent family by burning them alive in their own home.”

A wave of relief washed over Frank as Diamond’s uncaring demeanor cracked for the first time and the smallest of waver resonated in her voice when she interrupted him. “I double checked their whereabouts and the orchard. That’s why I got burned. I stayed too long afterwards to make sure. None of them were even close to home.”

The urge to justify her methods showed Diamond still had a conscience.

“With all due respect , it doesn’t matter how thorough you are,” Frank turned up the sternness in his voice to bring his point across. “There is always room for mistakes and even the smallest error is fatal when you do something so needlessly reckless. You should be smarter than that, but I think you were getting a bit desperate for a win, didn’t you?”

He saw her swallow hard and do the faintest of nods. At least she was willing to listen and that was Frank’s chance to nudge this rivalry into a more healthy direction. “The sad part is, I can point out three reasons from the top of my head that makes this whole operation pointless even if you had succeeded without a hitch.”

Diamond was listening aptly, hanging on every word from his lips. The filly might be sure of herself, but didn’t want to miss out on an opportunity to learn something useful. Or at least what might be considered useful advice from a millennial in his late twenties.

“First of all, the Apple family is still rich beyond imagination, so any damage mostly registers on the emotional level not existential. Unless, you were only going for a slight inconvenience for them with your big stunt.

“Second, Any pony with half a brain will connect you to the crime by looking at your burned face. Even if you weren’t burned, the history you share with Apple Bloom makes you still suspect number one. Somepony with your potential shouldn’t make such obvious mistakes and hide their trail better.

“Third, you got impatient and valued instant gratification over long-term success. Would you really be satisfied with winning like this after such a long time and all the effort you put in so far? With a can of oil and some matchsticks?”

Diamond processed the information and came to the same, frustrating conclusion. She considered herself smarter than average and hindsight was, in her opinion, a necessity for stupid ponies. So it was all the more jarring to have overlooked obvious problems, even if she had been emotionally and mentally drained from her losing streak.

“You are an impressive young lady, too impressive for a blunder at this level. Especially if you take into account that you managed to score a victory today.” Frank almost broke out into laughter from the incredulous look on Diamond’s face. “Apple Bloom’s parents came back with the orchard. The orchard you burned, ergo…”

The penny dropped for Diamond Tiara. “Her parents wouldn’t be back without me…”

“Exactly. Apple Bloom owes you her happiness and this will be the tiny little sting of discomfort in the back of her head every time she thinks about today.” Frank picked up the little filly like a puppy, holding her in his outstretched hooves to get them both on the same eye level. “Granted, it’s not much of a victory, but a small miracle if you consider the starting point.”

He turned Diamond Tiara from left to right to get a better look at both sides of her face. “And you get to look cool as a bonus.”

“I do?”

Frank gave Diamond Tiara a nuzzle on her snout and got a giggle out of the little filly. “Totally, really badass.”

The sound of packages hitting the ground filled the room. Diamond’s father stood in the open door with presents lying to his hooves and a face paler than a bedsheet. It wasn’t hard to figure out why when you considered that Frank had his little filly in his grasp and barely a few inches from his face.

“Yes, daddy?” Diamond asked, being put back down on the mattress by the alicorn.

He was smart enough to read the room and not ask questions. “Your mother managed to get an appointment with a doctor from Manehattan.”

Diamond Tiara sighed. “Let me guess, Mom thinks the backwater quacks of Ponyville are talking nonsense after telling her my eye is beyond saving?”

“She might not show it much but your mother cares, Diamond.”

“Yeah sure…” Diamond turned to Frank with a bored expression. “Are we done here?”

Filthy Rich did a sharp intake of air from the rudeness of his daughter and Frank smiled. “Yeah, we are you little fire starter. Remember, be smart and don’t succumb to your baser instincts. For a victory to matter it’s just as important how you win.”

With those parting words, Diamond Tiara and her father were gone, off to find a treatment for something only her parents bothered. He couldn’t fathom taking the loss of an eye half as well as this tough as nails ten-year-old. The little mastermind would turn into a very scary adult.

“That speech was quite enlightening.”

Frank turned his attention to the remaining patient in the room. Chrysalis had changed position while he wasn’t looking, leaning against the headboard with her frontlegs crossed behind her head and acting casual, despite the obvious nervousness she was feeling under his attention.

If Frank noticed, he wasn’t showing it and pulled up a chair, sitting down at her bedside. “You think so? Most of the time I just babble out what comes to mind.” For a fraction of a second Chrysalis had the urge to pull back from the proximity of the large pony, but then calmed from the outpour of positive emotions. “How are you feeling, Ms. Glamour?”

“Better,” she suppressed a sigh of content, trying not to show how cozy the alicorn made her by sitting close. “I am sorry for vomiting on you.”

Frank tapped a pink spot on his chest with a smile. “Think nothing about it. Believe me, it wasn’t even the worst liquid I was subjected to in the last week. Ever had half your face submerged in bacon grease? A very vile combination with malt liquor.”

Chrysalis could have gone for a stiff drink to calm her nerves. Even though food and drink as a whole did nothing for changelings, Las Pegasus had helped her to develop a taste for the mind-numbing poisons ponies willingly ingested.

“Let me get a doctor to take a look at you, Ms. Glamour. It’s unnecessary to keep you from the festivities longer than needed.”

The changeling queen felt the presence beside her leave before she saw it, the aura of warmth dimming like the last rays of a setting sun. Her time to use this opportunity was running out with every step of Frank towards that door and desperation overrode every ingrained instinct of her infiltrator heritage.

She was about to do something incredibly stupid.

“What is your name?”

Frank stopped with his hoof on the door handle and turned with a worried expression. “Did you hit your head when you fainted? Without trying to sound conceited, you should know who I am…”

No matter how much she agonized over her strategy, Chrysalis couldn’t come up with something that worked with her usual bag of tricks. She didn’t have the time nor the resources to enact a complex infiltration. Quick mind manipulation was out due to the other princesses and most of all Sunset Shimmer noticing instantly. Let alone the fact she wasn’t sure if it would work on a being that was powerful enough to make other alicorns at will.

“I would like to know your real name. Not the name of the pony you pretend to be.” Chrysalis closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable, hearing heavy hoofsteps getting closer. They stopped by her bedside, followed by the sound of wooden legs scratching over the floor.

Frank had pulled up the chair closer and was sitting in it again. “What makes you so sure I am an imposter?”

Chrysalis changed into her real form in a cloud of green flame. Instead of the sparkling sapphire blue mare with top model measurements, a significantly larger and more feral looking creature occupied the bed now. Queen Chrysalis was an imposing figure, but never considered herself a candidate for the multicoloured and sugary beauty standard of ponykind.

“It takes one to know one.” She took a hole-riddled front leg and did a dramatic flip with her ratty, dark cerulean mane.

This was the moment Chrysalis learned that Frank had a legendary poker face. If not for her empathic powers of sensing emotion, you would have thought she had showed him the favourite piece of her post stamp collection. No change of expression, no movement, no nothing to indicate the mental fireworks going off inside the white alicorn. “That’s pretty reckless of you. Why would you risk everything by revealing yourself to me?”

The curious and non-confrontational tone soothed her immediate worries. She felt like the gamble had already paid off by gaining attention that wasn’t completely negative from the getgo. The next step entailed to gain favor with this new party.

“I’m here to warn you. Celestia is coming.”

The composed mask of Frank broke with a slight eye twitch, an unnoticeable sign for most ponies but a humongous tell for Chrysalis. She had just dropped a bombshell on him and his mind and heart were struggling to compensate.

“Sunset Shimmer?” Frank asked, looking at the closed door to the corridor.

Chrysalis mouth went dry from anxiety. The next few moments would decide everything.

“She is in the know, but acts independently. Celestia has only Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor on her side.”

After another silent pause, Frank clicked with his tongue and took a deep breath. “And you are warning me out of the goodness of your heart? Or do you expect something from me in return?”

Chrysalis nodded and Frank had no illusion which question she had affirmed. “You are very straightforward and open for a changeling. I expected more subterfuge and cunning to be honest.”

She had to agree. From any perspective, this was stupid, impulsive and unprofessional for an expert in infiltration. In any other circumstance, it would have been safer to bank on the silent agreement with Sunset Shimmer and wait with her approach. The one circumstance being four other alicorns, soon to be five and a former one as extra to deal with as obstacles to her plans.

Fortune favored the bold. “I have nothing left to lose. Anything beats living like a fugitive, scraping meager meals out of unsuspecting ponies.”

“You are hungry?”

“A... Always!” Chrysalis answered honestly. Her earlier throw-up of liquid love drained a huge part of her reserves and she felt the agonizing hunger pains build up again.

“Then have a nibble on my treat.” Frank leaned into his chair, “I don’t like to discuss things on an empty stomach.”

The clear invitation to feed on him flabbergasted the queen. She couldn’t think of a single instance in recorded history where a pony voluntarily let their love drained from a revealed changeling.

Naturally Chrysalis was hesitant to just go for the throat to Frank’s clear amusement. “Why are you getting shy? I won’t bite if you don’t. I don’t think you are stupid enough to suck me dry with four alicorns waiting outside.”

Chrysalis deduced her meal ticket was unaware of its infinite amount of love among other things. So far she wasn’t getting the impression of an omnipotent being, but a moderately competent schemer playing well with the cards that have been dealt.

Frank watched with interest as the bug pony monarch opened her mouth wide to show her massive fangs and snake like tongue. For a second he was dreading to actually getting nibbled by those chompers and felt relieved when a pink stream materialized from his chest to her maw.

It started out thin as a noodle, steadily gaining thickness and becoming more vibrant as the seconds passed. Chrysalis soon began to sweat under the staggering amount. She was full, so full to be close to bursting, but couldn’t stop from taking and Frank from giving. Panic gripped her swelling heart as dark thoughts about this situation entered her mind.

Maybe the imposter wasn’t unaware how limitless his love was? Maybe he knew what would happen if someone would take too much too greedily? Maybe she was about to die like a mosquito overfilled with blood?

Chrysalis cried bitter tears and waited for the inevitable pop, when a sudden weight on her head commanded attention.

Frank had a hoof on her mane, gently stroking along the hairline. “Do I taste that bad? You don’t like your enjoying the meal.”

The innocent question almost made her laugh, a difficult task with your jaw unhinged like a cobra. The freely given love she tasted right now was the most amazing thing she ever got to experience.

“I couldn’t have asked for a better last meal,” Chrysalis thought melancholic but without bitterness, ceasing her struggle and letting the inevitable happen. “I’m lucky to get such a gentle executioner.”

It began with a crack.

All around her body, the black chitin carapace burst open to reveal a pink glow underneath. Her eyes turned to spotlights, brightening the room in the same color. Her mane and tail began to smolder like ember, spreading the heat over her whole body. The last thing Chrysalis witnessed before everything went white, was her own silent scream as she burst into flame.

“Does that always happen?”

Changelings had no clear beliefs of an afterlife, but getting asked stupid questions as the first thing after dying had no part in it. Sight returned to the changeling queen in murky silhouettes, the most prominent of all was the white blob leaned over her still form. The edges went sharper and sharper, until she stared into the anxious face of Frank.

“I’m not dead…”

“Yeah, you’re not,” Frank sank back into his chair, visibly relieved about her wellbeing. “But you gave yourself one hell of a fairy tale makeover.”

Chrysalis raised her frontlegs to look at them and went wide-eyed from the new color. Frantically, she rolled to the left side of her bed to grab for anything with a reflective surface. She found a metallic bedpan and held it in front of her to look.

Her body had changed from black to a pale yellow without any holes. Mane and tail didn’t look ratty anymore and remained turquoise although in a lighter shade that turned brighter towards the hair tips. Four violet dragonfly wings sprouted from her back instead of the hole-filled and tousled pair. She frowned at the orange fluff around her chest, reminiscent of the hairy tuft found on bees and moths. Her horn, the same pale color as her coat, was now without nicks and scratches and curved like a long blade.

“Did I do that?” Frank asked while Chrysalis was still busy scrutinizing herself. “If so, I hope you don’t mind your new look.”

“I’m afraid, beings who change their appearance at will have different standards for identity than appearance,” Chrysalis explained in a deadpan tone and showed as much by simply turning back into her old bug self.

She was more concerned with her inner values and liked the fact her magic was still working as intended. A few more disguises of random ponies happened in rapid succession to test her abilities and they were executed flawlessly.

Better yet, Chrysalis felt several magnitudes more powerful than ever before and noticed with mirth that the always present emptiness was gone for good. With a flash of green, she was back in her new form and her eyes travelled to the nightstand. The father of that annoying kid had left a lot of get-well presents for his offspring and one of them raised the interest of the queen.

A large basket of fruit.

She grabbed randomly for the first thing in reach, a ripe banana, and shoved it down her throat along with the peel. A few cautious chews later, her eyes lit up in delight once her tastebuds reached the mushy innards of the fruit. Food usually tasted like ash and had no value for changelings, but this new deliciousness set off all the right signals in her brain. She hurriedly took more, one kind in each hoof, devouring an apple and green grapes.

Frank watched in amusement at the changeling munching away with big hamster cheeks. His approaching hoof for pets was stopped by a loud hiss that sounded like a mixture between cat and snake. She might look more friendly, but through the hiss he noticed the large fangs were still there, ready to bite his hoof off for touching her precious fruit.

The white hoof slowly inched away from her face, towards her chest and began rubbing the ridiculously soft chest fluff in a soothing manner. ”It’s all yours. Nobody will take it from you.”

The tender administration recovered Chrysalis from her food frenzy, juice dripping from her chin as love kept seeping into her from Frank, further increasing her staggering amount of magical energy. The old ways of feeding were still open to her and then some as other emotions like happiness, hope, confidence and even pride joined the stream into her essence.

The implications were already massive enough without the bombshell which was to happen next.

The pegasi responsible for putting out the fire over Sweet Apple Acres started their next assignment to move the clouds above the hospital. Chrysalis felt a weird tingle from her translucent wings as they were hit with the first rays from the window and marveled at the feeling of being energized by the emerging sunlight.

Chrysalis had turned into an omnivore in the most literal sense. She could eat everything!

Frank felt the vibrations running through her body as Chrysalis took his hoof while buzzing like a honeybee from happiness. “Please, what is your name?”

The sudden intensity and closeness of this pony-fairy-bug overwhelmed Frank, especially in how beautiful this weird combination had turned out. The changeling queen might look like she would be right at home in a Disney movie, but the overall aggressive and demanding behaviour has not changed one bit.

“Frank… just Frank is alright…” He was aware of the small stutters in his voice and tried to hide his embarrassment with a cough.

“Frank…” She said slowly, tasting every letter of his name on her tongue like a fine dish. “A masculine name?” Frank nodded at the obvious shot in the dark and earned himself a smile and a lick of her lips for it before she continued. “Mr. Frank, what you did today won’t be forgotten. Believe me!”

“That’s nice…” Frank believed alright, although the wording sounded a bit ominous. “Listen, I have to get back to Luna and the others, but feel free to pay us a visit later on the airship for beer and burgers. The meaty kind, not the fake hay stuff.”

Barbecue and grilled meat in general had always been Frank’s comfort food and he desperately needed some comfort after today. Nothing fancy, just something firm and juicy to wash down with a few beers on a hot summer day.

“You want me there?” She asked with big bedroom eyes, still clinging to his hoof and turning up the flirting. The promising reaction to her close proximity were clear as day and all the more frustrating when the fidgeting shut down the second she was doing it on purpose.

“Of course, you were always one of my favourites.” The tone was friendly enough but his confident mask was back on, showing Chrysalis the experience Frank must have had with people who tried manipulating him with affection.

The sour aftertaste his emotions developed felt like biting into a lemon and Chrysalis wouldn’t let this blunder fester any longer. “W... Wait what about Celestia? What will you do?”

The change of topic successfully changed the sour taste from his emotions into a much more pleasing tartness and finish into a creamy, heavy thickness. “I will use my remaining time to its fullest. You should do the same by enjoying the festival.”

The complicated mix was so enticing, she struggled with the urge to lick his face to add a hint of surprise as another emotional seasoning. So many flavours and directions she could experience by poking the right switch. How delicious would actual love for her taste?

Stars above, she shuddered thinking about lust!

“Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone about you.” Frank booped her snoot and made Chrysalis drop his hoof in surprise. “Try to stay away from trouble, okay? I have big plans for the final day.”

Frank stood up and was out of the door before Chrysalis could get out of her stupor. Deep in thought, she rubbed the spot on her nose he just touched and grinned. The big and scheming kind of grin you wear when you realize that you have been granted to a very special inner circle.

“This day is going to be perfect....”

Author's Note

Small change of plans.

I'm going away for my vacation a week early and post my chapter now.

I started my search for an editor and would like to use the opportunity to ask also here for anyone interested. (This one was edited by me to the best of my ability)

Anyways, enjoy the next chapter!

Hi my name is...

Hi my name is...

Hectic and active: That's how you would describe the regular mornings in Canterlot Castle, but today's hustle and bustle was without equal. Everywhere you could see servants and maids running through the halls moving trays while royal guards in armor from the night and day shifts transported crates and boxes. Even some ponies from outside the castle had been brought in and paid to share the workload.

And all of them were screaming and bumping into each other while performing their assigned tasks.

In the midst of all this were two individuals.

One towered over all of them, casually strolling through the masses who parted like a curtain to make space for the new arrival.

The second one, who was only as tall as everypony else, didn't get this much courtesy from the staff and had to squeeze through. This made it difficult to keep up their conversation.

“I want everything the royal kitchen has to offer prepared as soon as possible.”

“Yes, your Highness.”

“And I mean everything. If it is edible, drinkable, or digestible in any other form, put it on a platter and send it on it's way.”

“...uh...understood, your Highness.”

“This reminds me, send some servants out to the local market, and buy every drop of booze there is and bring that too.”

“Princess, this would be quite the investment, the local stock on alcohol provides for the whole province. Where should the funds come from?”

“I don't care how you do it. Raid the treasury if you must, but get it done!”

“Yes, your Highness!”

“Wonderful. Now, get moving! Chop chop!”

The tall figure, a white alicorn with a sun cutie mark, watched the smaller, brown unicorn mare with a clipboard cutie mark running through the hallway as fast as she could.

Princess Celestia was the name that the wise and benevolent alicorn was known under, but unfortunately the mind that occupied the body right now went under a different name, and he wasn't especially wise, or benevolent for that matter. Some people in the past may have even called him a worthless waste of space, and he couldn't blame them for doing so. He never had accomplished much in his young life.

His name was Frank West, a twenty-three year old storage clerk from earth and currently in possession of the body of Princess Celestia.

A few hours earlier...

“...and that's the reason it is important to reallocate more funds to...”

Frank stirred with his eyes closed, slowly shifting his body. Did he fall asleep on the sofa while watching TV again?

“...the Everfree is getting more dangerous every day and soon...”

His head seemed to be resting on his left hand, but for some reason he didn't feel his fingers.

“...we consider the use of the Elements of Harmony to prevent...”

At this he perked up a little bit. This made sense to him. He'd had a little pony marathon again and had dozed off halfway through.

Frank leaned back and stretched himself out to get the feeling back in his fingers and toes, which must have gone numb. Halfway through a hearty yawn and smacking his lips, he noticed that there wasn't any more noise coming from the TV.

Slowly and blearily, he opened one eye to check what was wrong and froze, his breath caught in his throat.

What he saw after his sight cleared was two dozen ponies staring up at him. Not normal ones, but the cartoon kind that he as a brony was so familiar with. They sat at two large tables, facing him.

From what Frank could tell, he was in a large, medieval looking throne room with a white marble floor and a ridiculous high ceiling.

Turning his head slightly to the left and to the right, he could also see two bigger looking ponies in golden armor flanking him and who had their heads turned to him with the same look of puzzlement.

He jerked when someone spoke near him.

“Your Highness, is everything alright?”

Beside Frank stood a mare with a brown coat and a yellow mane put into a bun.

“And you are?” he said in a very feminine sounding voice, which caused him to pause.

The mare, confused by this, was silent for a few seconds before she answered him, her voice shaky, and pointed at her cutie mark, which depicted a clipboard with check marks.

“I'm Trusty Schedule, your Highness. You hired me as your new secretary last week after the old one, Miss Inkwell, retired. Are you feeling unwell, Princess?”

She stepped closer, but at that moment Frank caught sight of his reflection in one of the windows. Staring back at him was none other than Princess Celestia, sitting on a throne, one eye closed and mouth open, gaping like a idiot.

He quickly looked away from the window and back again and then away and back yet again. All the while he was moving his hooves and bopping his head to see if the reflection would to the same.

It did.

The whole audience gasped as he jumped off of the throne and started shaking his butt.

Trusty and the rest of the morning council couldn't believe it. This was Princess Celestia, the paragon of nobility and dignity, behaving like a little school filly. Dancing, jumping, and rolling around on the floor, only stopping to address the baffled crowd.

“I'm a pretty pony princess, aren't I? This is an amazing dream!” Frank said.

Nobody could make heads and tails out of that statement but nonetheless started to whisper among themselves. And Trusty, not sure what to do, turned to the audience and tried to disarm the situation.

“Fellow council members, I think our princess is feeling a little under the weather today,” Trusty said, positioning herself in front of Frank, who had started doing tricks.

“Look, I can do a hand...erm, hoofstand! Are you looking!?”

“...Um, I suggest we postpone morning court until further notice,” Trusty said and glanced back to the princess.

“Why is nobody looking? Okay, boss tier: One hoof...*bonk*...ah, my head. The pain...it hurts! Why does it hurt?”

“....Yeah, until further notice....”

The throne room emptied fast, the ponies almost trampling each other. Even the guards were gone, leaving Trusty and Frank alone in the room. Frank was still lying on the floor, rubbing his head. The blow brought his excitement down again and revealed a truth to him that he wasn't sure how to handle right now.

This was no dream. The aching bruise on his head stood testament to that.

The situation he was in right now brought so many revelations to him that he had difficulties deciding where to start.

Equestria exists. He wasn't in his world anymore, and he had no idea why. Heck, he wasn't human anymore, and instead of turning into some background pony nobody knows or even one of the Mane six, Frank had turned into one of the most powerful beings in the fandom: Princess Celestia, the big cheese of this nation that everyone bowed their head to.

He shortly mourned all that was lost to him from now on, which wasn't much if he was honest with himself. A boring job, an estranged family that he rarely saw outside birthdays and holidays, a single apartment, barely any savings to get by on, and no girlfriend, not since his last relationship went to hell.

Frank didn't hate his life, he was more or less content with it, but he also didn't find it all too hard to get comfortable with the idea of a fresh start.

And what could be a better start than as Princess Celestia from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, one of his favorite franchises?

Maybe Superman. Bitches love Superman.

Not being male anymore sucked, but Frank was positive that he could manage without little Frank. He didn't get to see much action these days anyway.

After what seemed an eternity for Trusty, standing there and watching her princess laying on her back, Frank finally moved.

“The Pros outweigh the Cons by a landslide,” Frank mumbled to himself and got on his hooves.

“Your Highness?”

“Say, Trusty was your name, right?” Frank said, slowly turning to her.

“Yes, your Highness. Trusty Schedule, your new secretary.”

Frank smiled at Trusty, but it was not the regal, benevolent smile she was used to, it was more like a full-blown, toothy grin from one ear to the other. “Well then, Trusty, escort me to my chambers, and make notes while we walk, I want a lot of things done today. I have something to celebrate!”

A short time later...

The Canterlot Market was a busy place of commerce. Ponies, griffins, zebras, and even one or two dragons, as well as all the other civilized races from all over the world came to trade their goods in the golden capitol of Equestria.

There was a sea of stalls and booths lining the streets. Some were made from wood and some from metal. Some were luxurious and some were shabby. All of them were occupied by traders, all of which were trying to get their goods sold.

One of these traders was Iron Brew, a minotaur from Minos. He came to Canterlot to sell his well-appointed line of hard liquor, but, to his displeasure, he wasn't doing very well. Most ponies couldn't handle much alcohol, and those who could came few and far in-between.

His cousin warned him that the pony folk were too prissy for his beverages, but he didn't believe him at the time and was confident in his product. Now he stood there after all the trouble of importing it to Canterlot, and he had nothing to show for it.

He was tempted to just pack up and call it quits when he heard a commotion from the direction of the castle coming closer. Iron Brew climbed up on one of his barrels of Minos Whiskey to better be able to see what the hubbub was all about.

He spotted a huge procession of ponies coming from the castle, some in servant outfits, though most were clad in armor. He couldn't count them because of the sheer number of ponies. Row after row, they flooded the market, going from booth to booth and leaving some of the traders happily crying and hooting in joy.

Iron Brew got off of his barrel as two dozen guards stopped at his booth.

“Good day to you, sir. My name is Sergeant Steelhoof. May I ask what it is you're selling here?” the most posh looking guard, a unicorn, said in a neutral tone.

“Well, if you look closely, lad, you can see and smell that I sell only the hardest liquor this side of Equis. Strong enough to burn your little nose hairs off,” Iron Brew said, his tone mocking.

The sergeant looked over the forty barrels standing behind the minotaur and frowned. “Is that all, or do you have more elsewhere?”

Iron Brew snorted loudly. “Well, lad, I came with a huge shipment from Minos with close to a thousand barrels and had to rent a bloody warehouse outside town. What do you think, Sergeant?”

The sergeant's left eye twitched slightly before he turned to his comrades and told them something that the minotaur couldn't hear; but it didn't seem to be anything good as they all groaned and looked at Iron Brew, glaring as if they hoped that his head would explode if they stared hard enough.

Iron Brew had started becoming a little nervous when the sergeant suddenly turned back to him, and all the other guards walked past him to the barrels.

“Is there a problem, lad?”

“We'll take it!”

A large chest levitated from where the guards had been standing, settling in the air between the sergeant and the minotaur. Steelhoof opened it, and Iron Brew could see that it was filled to the brim with bits. A small fortune floating right before his eyes.

“This should cover the barrels you have here. Please, escort my guards to your warehouse to get the rest, and I will come back shortly with another thirty or so chests.”

“Are you serious?” Iron Brew said skeptically.

“Note serious face,” Sergeant Steelhoof replied, pointing at himself. “On decree of Princess Celestia, we are hereby ordered to acquire every drop of alcoholic substance for her personal consumption, no matter the price.”

Iron Brew was speechless. He just started walking, not saying a word, and shortly three dozen guards followed him. Soon he realized that he wouldn't have to work for another day in his life.

Halfway to the warehouse, he joined the ones who cried and hooted in joy this day.

Later, at Canterlot Castle...

Trusty was running through the corridors of Canterlot Castle, determined to reach the chamber of the princess as fast as possible. On her way she passed the bustling masses who still filled the hallways. They carried the last wave of trays, boxes, bottles, barrels, and carts filled with food and beverages.

Finally, she arrived at the large, ornate door that bore the symbol of the sun, which, to her surprise, had a smiling face drawn onto it, much like the doodles a school filly might draw in her textbook.

Deciding to ignore it for now, she knocked three times and entered the chamber just in time to catch the last bit of a conversation between her princess and a gruff-looking stallion in a yellow construction hat.

“Please, Princess, this is unreasonable. We are ordinary construction workers, this is beyond our capabilities.”

On the table were blueprints, rough sketches, and some crude looking doodles drawn with pink crayon. As Trusty got closer, she recognized that some of them depicted things like swimming pools, cinemas, saunas, a pair of tennis courts, a mini- and normal golf court, a petting zoo, and statues.

Lots and lots of statues, all looking like the princess in poses varying from her usual regal posture to the downright impossible and silly looking.

“I don't think ponies can bend that way,” Trusty said, looking at one sketch in particular featuring Princess Celestia, a blush beginning to creep up her face.

Hearing this, Frank turned around and again smiled in a way that gave Trusty the creeps. “Ah, my assistant helper pony. Welcome, Trundy.”

“Um, actually, my name is Trusty, your Highness.”

Frank tapped his chin. “That doesn't sound right. From now on your name is Trundy, and get it legally changed as soon as possible!”

“You can decide that?” Trusty said, gawking at Frank, who shrugged.

“Heck if I know, but what brings you here, Trundy?”

Taking a deep breath, she took her clipboard out of her saddlebag and cleared her throat before starting her report. “Your Highness, I am here to tell you that the preparations have been completed and that everything has been brought to the big gala room for your inspection.”

This news filled Frank with glee, and he looked at the clock on the wall, which told him that it was two in the afternoon. “Wonderful, simply wonderful. Well then, let's not waste time and escort me to the gala room.”

Frank happily strutted outside the chamber, but then his head reappeared in the open door, looking at the gruff-looking stallion in the yellow hard hat.

“And you will get started on these plans. I don't care how much it will cost, but make it happen. Understood?”

“Yes, your Highness!” the stallion said while saluting.

“Excellent. Trusty, are you coming?”

“I thought my name was Trundy, your Highness.”

“Learn to take a joke. Sheesh, nobody has sense of humor around here!”

Trusty followed the princess and escorted her to the large gala room across the castle grounds. Every pony they passed was either petrified in awe or tried to get out of the way as fast as possible in order to avoid hindering them. This was something Frank found simply hilarious, and he had a lot of fun chasing some of them down the hallway screaming, “Booga booga.”

But eventually they arrived at the gala room, the large entrance to which was flanked by two guards who saluted as soon they made eye contact with them.

Not even stopping to say hello, Frank rushed inside with Trusty right behind him who came to a sudden stop when she bumped into the now stock-still alicorn.

Before Frank was the most beautiful sight of his entire life.

Row after row of tables filled with food of every variety. Soups, salads, every form of appetizer, a whole segment filled with pies and cakes, a large chocolate fountain with a life-sized Princess Celestia ice sculpture, hundreds of bowls filled with cooked vegetables, a fruit bar, and a large champagne tower that almost reached the ceiling, flanked by iced buckets full of assorted bottles of alcoholic beverages.

Speaking of booze, every inch of the four walls were blocked by stacked barrels of what Frank assumed was hard liquor. For that reason no sunlight came through the large stained glass windows anymore, so they had been forced to light up the large chandeliers.

“Princess Celestia, are you crying?” Trusty asked, looking at the glossy eyes of the alicorn.

Frank, no longer able to contain himself, wiped tears out of his eyes with his hoof as he spoke.

“This is so beautiful!”

And Trusty had to agree. This was a catering masterpiece like none that had come before it. Not even the Grand Galloping Gala or the recent coronation of Princess Twilight Sparkle could compare to the magnitude of this feast.

“Yes, your Highness, it is quite the accomplishment of the castle staff and the Royal Guard, but may I ask when the guests for this spontaneous banquet will arrive? I have no knowledge of visitors of such importance.”

“Oh, this is all for me, Trusty,” Frank said, sniffing on a tray of freshly baked muffins.

The clipboard Trusty was holding slipped out of her magic's grasp.

“Beg your pardon, Princess?”

“This here is a present from me to myself, so please close the door on your way out and make sure that nobody bothers me until I say so.”

And without further warning, Trusty was shoved out and the door slammed shut behind her. She sat there dumbfounded between the two guards who looked equally puzzled but shrugged it off after a while and continued staring stoically ahead.

In the meantime, inside of the lavishly filled gala room, Frank was sitting on his haunches fighting with his golden slippers, trying to pry them off his hooves.

They looked good and seemed fitting for a princess; nonetheless, they were driving Frank crazy due to how uncomfortable they were. Getting them off by kicking, he let them fly all over the room. One went right into the champagne glass tower, making it collapse loudly into itself.

“Well, shit... Ah, no matter, don't like champagne anyway,” Frank said, tossing his crown and golden necklace off, but more gently this time. “Let's see, where to begin?”

His gaze fell on a table situated slightly away from the rest. Unlike the others, all plates were covered up with fancy silver covers. There was no handle on the covers to lift them up. Frank tried to clamp down on one with his hooves but the silverware was too slippery. He tried shoving it open with his snout when his large horn clanked against it. It took a second, but then it clicked inside his mind.

“Oh right, magic. How silly of me,” Frank said to himself.

He assumed that having the body of a magical alicorn, he should also have the magical powers of an alicorn, but, of course, Frank had no idea how to use it.

He focused very hard on the nearest silver tray, glaring down at it with narrowed eyes. Telling the tray to move in his thoughts didn't work. Neither did several head motions and twirls of his horn.

“Oh, come on, do something!” Frank yelled after two dozen tries before dropping to the floor.

This couldn't be so hard. Frank had seen ponies doing it in the show all the time. All they did was light their horn up and the things would move from one point to another. Like this barrel by the wall to his left should easily float up and levitate from there to the right.

And Frank's astonishment it did, right then and there. Perplexed, he imagined the barrel moving again, this time from right to left.

And it moved again.

“Wow, is it really that simple? Just visualize the motion?”

Getting really excited, he then visualized a laser coming from his horn, obliterating the barrel.

And it happened in a glorious display of blinding light and the sound of splintering wood, showering him with splinters and alcoholic liquid.

Frank was excited before, but now he was downright euphoric, blasting things and throwing stuff around.

“Behold the might of Sunbutt the destroyer,” roared Frank, taking aim at the giant ice sculpture of himself, melting it and flooding the beverage table.

Speaking of beverages, he felt parched and approached one of the punch bowls. Not feeling the need to be elegant, he stuck his whole head into the bowl and took huge gulps. Reemerging, he belched loudly after smacking his lips.

“Not bad, quite tasty, but it lacks a certain kick. Hmm, maybe...” Frank said, looking at the punch bowl.

It glowed momentary, and he took a cautious sip. The familiar burning of alcohol ran down his throat, making him smile. He had magically spiked the punch!

Ready to down it in one go, he was about to pounce when his stomach growled in protest.

“You're right to be angry with me old friend. Or is it new friend? I am new to this body after all,” Frank said, rubbing his belly. “I should eat something first before drinking myself silly.”

He remembered the table from before his revelation and walked back to it. He saw a card that he had missed before:

Assorted dishes for carnivores, please enjoy with consideration for the herbivore guests.

His eyes went wide, and the lid of the nearest plate literally skyrocketed off of the table, flattening into a disc shape upon contact with the ceiling, and he instantly noticed the heavenly fragrance entering his nostrils, making his mouth water.

“ETERNAL HAPPINESS, THY NAME IS BACON!”

Author's Note

Hello BobAlocove here.

After lurking for two years in the shadows of Fim Fiction I finally decided to throw my own hat in the ring.
And with a human turned X story ain't I original? :)

But jokes aside, I plan this story to be a longer one, so there is dedication from my side.

Tell me what you think, being my first try to write. Criticism is welcome, especially grammar wise with english not being my first language.

EDIT APRIL 3TH 2014: This chapter was edited and proofread by DF and is now much easier to read. Thank you!

Hey sister it's your sister!

"She's in there for four hours now Trusty, don't you think we should check if everything is alright?"

Trusty glared at the guard who suggested that. She knew that it has been four hours. She had done nothing else than counting the minutes watching her pocket watch, since the princess went in the gala room.

"Princess Celestia gave specific orders not to be disturbed and I intent to follow that order. Besides we didn't go in there, when the liquor started leaking under the door cracks. So why should we now?"

But despite saying that, Trusty was getting nervous. Soon it would be time to lower the sun and there was no sign that the ruckus inside the gala room would end anytime soon.

They had heard glass shatter, furniture topple and at more than one occasion a bellowing laughter, followed by a hiccup or a hearty burp. Trusty cringed from the mental image of Princess Celestia doing such a thing.

As soon as her Highness goes to bed, she planned on speaking with Princess Luna about this. She is her sister after all, that means she should know what to make out of this behaviour.

Right?

Deep in thoughts, she didn't notice the sudden silence from the gala room and the two stationed guards turning their heads to the door. That they noticed in time, was the only reason that they didn't get squashed to mush as the doors bursted open with force.

Trusty spun around in fright and watched Princess Celestia walk out of the gala room.

At least she thought that this is Princess Celestia from the horn and wings.

Frank was covered from head to tail in stains, grime and crumbs. His belly seemed larger, no doubt filled to the brim with food and beverages. The stench of booze surrounded him like a cloud, so thick you could literally taste it.

To Trusty's horror she even could see some chicken bones in Frank's mane and a pig head stabbed on his horn, wiggeling as he walked towards them.

Or better said wobbled like a newborn foal.

"Your Highness, I am so glad to see you..."

"WHERE IS BEST PONY?" roared Frank and pressed his snout into hers, which had the comical effect of the impaled pig head also looking down on Trusty from above.

Trusty backed up and her eyes started watering from the alcoholic fumes, coming from Frank's breath. "Where is who?"

Frank took a deep breath through his mouth and nostrils while rearing back, before pushing his snout into hers again.

"DON'T YOU LIE TO ME! TELL ME WHERE LULU IS, BEFORE I KICK YOUR FLANK PUNK!"

Trusty blasted away from the Royal Canterlot Voice and landed in the nearest bush.

"Lulu? Who could that... do you mean your sister Princess Luna?" said Trusty rubbing her ringing ears.

Frank grimaced in annoyance. "Of course her, who else could be best pony? Twist? *blegh* hate that filly!"

Trusty, finally able to free herself out of the bush, trotted slowly closer trying not to upset the drunken monarch any further. "Your sister is resting in her chambers as usual your Highness, she will get up when it's time to raise the moon"

Frank narrowed his eyes to slits and rubbed his chin with a hoof, giving Trusty an inquisitive look. "I am inclined to believe you, but I am afraid my friend Mr. Piggy here needs more to be convinced"

To further prove his point he wiggled the pig head around making noises.

"Oink Oink!"

"That's a very good idea Mr. Piggy, while I check the truthfulness of her claim you can stay here and keep an eye on her!" said Frank looking up to the pig head.

And without further warning Frank levitated the pig head of his horn and impaled it on the horn of Trusty, who froze in shock. "I'll be back Trusty. Don't try anything funny. Mr. Piggy will tell me. Guards!"

"Yes your Highness!" said the two horrified guard ponies shaking in their armor.

Frank sat down on his haunches, clopping his hooves together. Then he spread them, like he wanted a hug.

"Carry me to Lunas chambers, your gracious princess feels to drunk to walk on her own!"

The guards looked at each other, before closing in on Frank and lifting the huge alicorn on their backs like a sack of potatoes. Almost breaking their hips in the process.

"Wheee, onwards my nobles steeds to victory! But wait, I almost forgot!" said Frank, pointing his head to the gala room and lighting up his horn.

A huge bottle floated from the gala room into his hooves and he hugged it like a newborn foal.

"One for the way. Now onward to great justice!"

A few minutes later...

Lunas royal chambers were wrapped in almost complete darkness with the large blue curtains drawn shut. Only two little vanilla scent candles were lit. There in a obscenely large bed, was Princess Luna snuggled between black silk beedsheets dotted with silver stars and moons sleeping peacefully.

She was always a deep sleeper, what came naturally with her second profession as guardian of dreams. That was also the reason, she didn't wake up from the loud noise of two guards collapsing outside her chambers. Or when her door opened slowly and a large alicorn shaped shadow began creeping beside her bed and watching her gleefully.

She also didn't wake up when said shadowy form climbed onto the bed and towered over her.

"Damn she is even sexier in real life, I mean look at that face and here I am in the body of her goddamn sister! Life can be so cruel!"

Frank getting agitated started poking her with his hoof. Between pokes he took, huge sips from the levitating bottle beside him.

"Luna..."

Luna turned, swatting his hoof away and smacked her lips.

"Luna... Lu-la-luna!"

This time Luna put her pillow over her head groaning.

"Hey sister it's your sister. Lets go bowling!" said Frank in a thick russian accent.

Resigning with the fact that ignoring was no longer an option and slightly confused, she slowly lifted the pillow from her head and stared blearily into the eyes of her sister. "What... what is it? Sister? What do you want?"

Frank lowered himself on her, putting his face mere inches away from hers. A horrid stench of alcohol, grease and burned meat filled Luna's nostrils, making her shudder and cringe in disgust.

"Did I ever tell you how pretty you are? Because you totally are, I mean seriously if we were not related I would totally hump you right now!"

After this he breathed out heavily, hitting Luna full force with another cloud of stench. Then he wobbly got up from her and took another large sip from the bottle, emptying it. After a loud burp he threw it with full force at the wall.

"Maseltov!" he said rearing up and falling backwards off the bed, now lying on his back.

Luna now wide awake, jumped out of her bed and opened the curtain with her magic. And instantly took a step back at what she saw. There on the ground spinning in circles was her sister making train noises.

"Sister what is the meaning of this? Stop this at once! And why do you look like as if you slept in the garbage can?"

Frank instantly stopped and looked up at her with teary eyes and lip quivering. "Are you calling me garbage? Am I ugly? Do I repulse you?"

He started wailing and rolling on the floor, staining the carpet with tears and snot coming out his snout.

"What! No of course not! Tia this is not what I meant! Are you drunk?"

"Oh woe is me, my own blood hates me, might as well jump off and end it!" said Frank, stumbling to his hooves and reeling to the balcony door.

Luna hurried after Frank. "Tia get back here!"

Frank was hanging on the balcony railing. He tried to haul his whole body over it and was failing miserably. Luna would have laughed, if the scene weren't so sad to watch.

"No don't stop me! Life is not worth living anymore when best pony hates you!"

He now somehow managed to climb on completely, balancing like a trapeze artist.

"I don't know what that means Tia, but please stop this I do everything you want!" said Luna and got slowly closer to Frank.

Frank stood still. "Everything? Can I call you Lulu?"

"Why would you want to..." Luna started saying before she saw Frank taking a divers pose," Fine, fine Lulu it is but not in public, please now get back inside before somepony sees you!"

"I want your pillow too"

"Why?"

"Cause you don't love me, if you don't give it to me and it smells like you!" Frank pouted.

Luna's left eye twitched in irritation. She was tired and grumpy, after being woken up by her drunk out of her mind sister and had no patience for this nonsense. If she wanted to be immature, fine so be it!

"This is ridiculous, your way out of line here"

"I am the princess you have to do what I say!" said Frank stomping with his hoof.

Luna deadpanned. "Well tough luck I'm a princess too, so you can't tell me to do squat!"

"But I am older than you Lulu!"

"Doesn't matter you don't get the pillow. I like it and it's mine!"

Grimacing, Frank took a divers pose again. "I'm gonna jump Lulu!"

In defiance Luna sat down crossing her hooves. "Fine do it, see if I care!"

"I am serious I will jump if you.. woah!" At this moment Frank slipped and tumbled over the railing.

"Tia!" screamed Luna, running to the edge and was terrified from the prospect, of finding her sisters broken body below her balcony. But there she was, hanging on with one hoof and her face twisted in a mixture of fear and rage.

"Oh good god Luna, please don't let me die! Help me!"

"Hold on take my hoof, I pull you up!"

With excessive amount of effort, Luna finally managed to pull Frank onto the balcony and he hugged Luna while at the same time showering her with kisses.

"Oh, I was so scared Luna. You are my hero!"

"Get off me! Stop that! Hey no licking!" Luna gasped, trying to wiggle out of his embrace.

Frank stopped and looked deep into her eyes. He didn't blink or move, only watching her with a large grin on his face. Luna felt a connection with her sister, that she hasn't felt a long time.

The face her sister is making right now, wasn't the regal and divine expression she was used to. Luna loved her sister, but even she was sometimes in the past humbled by her presence and felt inferior. To the ponies of Equestria, Princess Celestia wasn't a pony but a symbol.

Celestia had no failings. She was always right and loved everypony equally and nopony especially.

Not even her little sister.

That is how Luna felt deep down about her sister. In no other circumstance this became more clear than her banishment to the moon. Of course she knew that ultimately she left her sister no other choice, but nonetheless grew sad everytime she thought about how easy Celestia choose total strangers over her own family. All for the sake of everypony.

But now something was different. The way she looked at her and sat there clumsily, trying not to topple over. The godawful smell coming from her breath and coat. The unrational behaviour and mood swings. Every single one of those things, wasn't something Princess Celestia the symbol would do. This was something normal ponies would do. Ponies with flaws and weaknesses. Ponies who done things in the past they regret.

Ponies like Luna.

This thought brought a smile to her face. Not a full-blown toothy grin like her sister had, but a small one, born of the new feeling of closeness to her sister.

And then Frank puked her in the face.

"Heh funny, I don't remeber eating chicken... ooh bacon bits yummy!"

Later...

" She spent how much on this!?"

Luna and Trusty stood in the broken remains of the gala room. A place where countless monumental events of high society took place through history. Banquetts, weddings, galas, even several coronations. This place had seen them all.

And now they could barely get it to liveable conditions again.

Everything was smashed, squashed, spilled, stained, soiled, soaked, ripped , smeared, charred or otherwise damaged. The floor, the walls and even the ceiling. Nothing was free of damage. You had to try hard to find a single clean spot.

"As I said Princess Luna, Princess Celestia ordered all of this for her personal usage and no other company was present during the four hour stay in here"

Luna carefully trod through the giant piles of leftover scraps and empty bottles, stopping in front of a row of a dozen empty barrels. They were bonedry, as if somepony licked up every single drop.

"This is insane, even with her alicorn stomach she couldn't have the room for all of this. Where did she put all this stuff?"

Her question was answered, when she stepped into something which looked eerily familiar to the substance she was washing out of her mane and coat half an hour ago.

And it was all over the gala room.

"Excessively overindulging until you throw up and then start all over again, real classy sister," said Luna to herself while wiping her hoof on a tablecloth.

Trusty stepped beside Luna. "Your Highness what do you think is wrong with Princess Celestia? Why would she behave like that?"

Looking at Trusty she was about to say something, but then paused and lifted an eyebrow. "Before I answer your question, why exactly do you have the head of a pig impaled on your horn?"

"His name is Mr. Piggy"

The look Luna gave Trusty, told her that she expected more of an answer.

"Your sister gave it that name and she threatened with capital punishment, if I were to remove him from my horn and get away from his watchful gaze"

Luna deadpanned. "Did she now?"

"Yep"

Giving the pighead a little poke with her hoof, Luna let it jiggle around a bit. "And you intent to keep it there until she says otherwise?"

"Yes your Highness!" Trusty saluted with her right hoof, smacking the pig head.

Luna cringed, but quickly regained her composure.

"Huh, well to answer your question my sister was never a huge drinker in all her life. In fact, I've never seen her drink at all, so that would explain the loss of self-control. But why she decided to indulge like this in the first place, I have no idea"

Trustys gaze hardened. "It all started this morning during the morning council. She dozed of through half of the meeting"

Luna had to snicker picturing her sister snoring on her throne. "Having attended some of those meetings this seems not unusual to me. Somewhat rude, but understandable"

"Well yes your Highness it is, but as soon as I woke her up she started shaking her butt at the council members and doing hoofstands for them!"

A heavy sigh escaped Luna's lips and a look on the large clock on the wall told her, that it was almost time to lower the sun and raise the moon. "Be that as it may, but I am afraid until at least tomorrow we won't get any answers from my sister, with her being knocked out as a light. But for now I must leave to fulfill our sisters duties"

"Very well your Highness"

That said Luna turned to walk out the entrance, but before trespassing the doorstep she stopped for a moment.

"Oh, and Trusty?"

"Yes, your Highness?"

"I hereby declare Mr. Piggy an enemy of the state, so as of now he is officially banished from Equestria and your head"

Hearing this the face of Trusty lit up and she saluted, smacking the pig head again.

"Yes your Highness! Thank you, your Highness!"

"Sometimes I wonder, if they all would just turn blue and die, the second we tell them breathing is illegal now," Luna mumbled to herself, while leaving the premise.

Some time later in the dream landscape of a certain purple princess...

A large stadium, filled to the brim with ponies. Thousands of them sitting in their seats, filling the air with impatient murmur, all wating for the huge event to start. The audience silenced, when the lights went out and a single spotlight in the middle of the stadium illuminated a middle aged blue unicorn. He had a coifed brown mane and a moustache, wearing a matching tweed jacket. He materialized a microphone into his hoof.

"And now for our national spelling bee championship, we are happy to announce the reigning champion. The lady of literacy, the grandmistress of grammar, the paragon of punctuation, ladies and gentlecolts we present Princess Twilight Sparkle!"

In a large flash of blinding light and white smoke, Twilight Sparkle appeared beside the announcer pony. She wore a large cape with stars and a pointy wizzard hat. Twilight took the microphone from the announcer and pointed at the crowd surrounding her.

"Thank you Equestria! Are you ready to be educated?"

"Yes we are! Teach us your Highness!" roared the crowd.

Twilight reared up, only standing on her hindlegs. "I can't hear you! Raise you hooves and let me hear your answer! Who am I?"

"Best princess! Best princess! Best princess!" chanted the crowd stomping in rhythm.

Satisfied she gave the microphone back to the announcer, who put his hoof on her shoulder.

"Princess Sparkle, you beaten all your oponents and became a source of inspiration for colts and fillies all over the world. Now what is left for you to do, is to spell one last round of words from our guest of honor!"

The smile on Twilight's face lessened a bit and a table with a single seat appeared on the stage.

That's not how this dream usually went. At this point she got the last question, won every book in existence and started making out with the announcer, who turned into a weird mix of her brother and that new guard named Flash Sentry.

The mental implications of that was not lost to her, but she choose to ignore it for the sake of her own sanity.

All the more she was confused when instead, the entrance hall doors opened and a large figure entered the stadum, while the announcer started to speak again.

"Ladies and gentlecolts, we are happy to announce the second best alicorn. Princess Celestia!"

"What!?" screamed Twilight.

The crowd erupted in boos and whistles, some were even throwing their drinks or autographed copies of Twilight Sparkle's bestseller "Why being a egghead is cool" at her.

The walking figure of Princess Celestia seemed confused at first, but then continued walking down the aisle to the stage. This was accompanied by several shouts from the crowd.

"Boo you suck old fart!"

"Down with the Sun Butt! She looks so fat how can she even move?"

"Princess Sparkle is so much smarter and prettier than you, you ugly mule!"

Meanwhile Twilight was close to having a heart attack. "Oh my god you ponies, shut the hell up! Are you trying to kill me?"

A large stallion in the crowd with a Twilight Sparkle baseball cap, stood up.

"No need for modesty Princess Sparkle, she is no match for your greatness! Go back fornicating with your socially awkward retard sister you lardass!"

Twilight paled. "Shut up! Shut up! You are ruining me!"

At this point the crowd started chanting and stomping in rhythm again.

"Princess Lardass! Dum dum bam bam! Princess Lardass!"

Cold unrelenting despair took hold of Twilight, when Princess Celestia stopped right before her at the table. But then she smiled and took a seat besides the announcer, seemingly unfazed by all of this.

Maybe she was lucky Twilight thought, maybe this version of Princess Celestia was also just part of her dream and she dodged the bullet on this one.

"Interesting dream you have here Twilight,” said Frank glancing around, ”I especially like the hoof-drawn banners in the crowd, very festive. Is that supposed to be me? My flank is not that huge or is it?"

No such luck for Twilight.

"Oh Princess Celestia, I am so sorry I can't control it! I am trying really hard to wake up!" Twilight wailed furiously bopping her head.

Frank leaned back in his chair, folding his hooves. "No no no dear Twilight, now that I am here we might as well end this dream properly. Don't you think?"

Twilight was confused. "Princess?"

"First word!” said Frank smacking the table with his hooves, “please spell the word retribution"

Twilight gulped. "Could you use it in a sentence?"

"Very well! Once this is over my retribution will know no bounds"

Twilight twiched. "Retribution. R, E, T, R, I, B, U, T, I, O, N. Retribution"

"That is correct!" said the announcer stomping excited with his hooves.

The crowd roared and exploded in cheers.

"Yes, that is our princess!"

"Off with the head of the incompetent sun monarch!"

"Rip of her horn and shove it down her sisters throat! Let her choke on it!"

Twilight covered her eyes, cowering on the floor. Frank turned to the crowd and blinked a few times, before turning back to Twilight.

"Wow, that's dark. Talk about hidden resentment, sheesh Twilight!"

"I don't mean it! This is all a big misunderstanding!"

"Sure it is,” said Frank in a monotone voice, “The next word is misery"

"Can I get that in a sentence?"

"Of course my priced pupil! When I am through with you, you will beg me to put you out of your misery"

"Eeep!” squeaked Twilight, doing her best Fluttershy impression, “mi... misery. M, I, S, E, R, Y. That's how you spell misery"

Once again the crowd erupted into cheers.

"Nice try Lardass!” said the stallion with the hat from before, “why don't you go back to Retardville where you.... .aaaaaaaahhhhh!"

The cheers stopped when the shouting dream stallion suddenly combusted into flames and his flesh started to melt from his skeleton, until nothing but ash and his hat remained of him.

Dead silence followed.

"I think thats enough of you thank you very much," said Frank blowing his now fuming horn, "last word Twilight are you ready?"

Twilight was only able to nod slowly, still horrified from this display of violence.

"Please spell the word vengeance. Do you want a sentence with it?"

"No, I'm good," said Twilight in high pitched whisper.

"But I insist. It would only be fair, wouldn't it?"

Twilight silently nodded, not daring to disagree.

"ahem, well here it goes”

Frank took a huge breath and in a low, but menacing voice said,

“I don't know when. I don't know where. If you are looking for specifics, I can tell you I don't have any at this moment. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for ponies like you. Don't try to run or hide, for I will look for you, I will find you, and when I do..."

Frank stood up from the table and was now face to face with her.

"Vengeance shall be mine!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh" screamed Twilight, before the dream and the stadium around her collapsed into itself.

Lunas Bedchamber in the morning...

"That was fun, but the mare has serious issues"

Groggily opening his eyes Frank noticed, that he was in a room who was not familiar to him.

"The moon decor is a dead give away though, ...urg my head"

Frank was ready to sink back into a deep state of semi unconsciousness and painless bliss, when the first rays of sunlight lightly grazed his eyes through the windows.

Considering his epic hangover, that was the equivalent of getting shot in the head with a shotgun.

And he would have none of that.

"Back to the shadows where you belong you burning, gaseous ball of misery," mumbled Frank pointing at the offending celestial body with his horn and yet again instinctively knew the right spell. And like on command the sun just sunk back from where it came, leaving a satisfied Frank to sink himself back into the the soft sanctuary of the pillows.

But like a nosy neighbour looking over a fence, the offending object started to peek over of the horizon again this time with greater speed and force. Frank glared out of his left eye.

"You shall not pass!"

Again the sun vanished behind the horizon, leaving the world in darkness and Frank really hoped it would stay down this time, because at this point he would rapidly run out of movie quotes and patience.

The third time it rose like fired out of a gun and Frank was pretty sure, that at six in the morning the sun shouldn't already be on the halfway point.

"TIA WE SWEAR BY ALL THAT IS DEAR TO US, IF YOU TOUCH IT AGAIN WE WILL SMITE THEE!!"

Groaning in defeat before the might of the Royal Canterlot voice of Luna, echoing through the whole castle, he closed the curtains of the room and curled up in ball.

"Should have done that in first place... well c'est la vie"