I used to be happy, all those years ago. I had a loving family and maybe a few good friends. I don't really remember much about school, I think my parents said I was extremely smart for my age. Even with the holes in my memory, I remember being happy. That all changed after the fall. I lost everything that night; my parents, my memories, even control over my own body. All of it taken away, just like that.
The first time I woke up afterwards, I remember a lot of doctors and nurses standing around me. I could almost hear them talking, but it sounded like I was under water. My entire body felt like it was floating, even though it was throbbing with pain where it touched the cold metal table. One of the nurses must have noticed my return to consciousness, and injected something to combat it. I felt a dull cold travel through my veins, urging me to close my eyes. I didn't fight it, choosing instead to float away from the pain.
The next time I woke up, I was in a different room. My vision kept swimming in and out of focus. I tried to get up and found that my legs wouldn't respond, I could only move my head. I open my mouth to scream, but nothing came out. A nurse came in just then and started to calm me down. I don't remember what she said, but it was soothing and I soon fell back asleep.
Later that day, a doctor came in and woke me up. He explained that I had been found a few mornings ago, convulsing in a pool of blood just outside the Whitetail Woods. I was rushed to the hospital by the mare who found me, Golden Plow. Once I was on the operating table and knocked out with powerful painkillers, the nurses started to clean my coat. The surgical staff were surprised to find that I had no obvious injuries, other than a few minor cuts. They waited until the painkillers wore off and tried to wake me up. It took them a few hours to find out why I wasn't responding to stimuli. They performed test after test, finding nothing that would explain my coma-like state. Eventually they figured out I had torn some brain tissue, and had internal bleeding.
The doctor looked up from his notes, a few tears escaping his eyes. He apologized for not figuring out the problem sooner. By the time they had started surgery, there was already massive damage to several key parts of my brain. The areas that controlled my vision, speech and mobility were compromised. He told me that through intense physical therapy, I could learn to walk and talk again, maybe even fly. My eyes might fix themselves or could worsen, only time would decide that.
He then asked me if I could remember what had happened the day before I was found. I shook my head to that question, and the next few as well. He asked me if I could remember what city I was from, what school I went to, my street address, my parents names and finally my name. I couldn't remember anything other than falling, and being in the hospital. The doctor flipped through his notepad, writing things here and there. Finally he stopped and looked out the window. He said there was a very high chance I would never regain any memories of what happened before I came to the hospital. He got up and walked out, leaving me alone in the plain room.
Five years later, I was discharged from the hospital. The doctors had done an amazing job, I was able to function like almost any other filly. I went from a blind and paralyzed mute, to a slightly clumsy, wall-eyed chatter-box. I was signing papers for citizenship in Ponyville when one of the nurses realized I didn't actually have a proper name. The hospital staff had always called me by my nickname Derpy Doo, after my favorite book series. With all my efforts at regaining control of my body, nopony had even given any thought towards a proper name for me.
I chose Derpy Hooves, as a tribute the one doctor who was always encouraging me to keep trying, even when it seemed like I destined to fail. That stallion, Doctor Healing Hooves, was the closest thing I had to family. It was heart-breaking that he died a few months before I fully recovered. When I sang at his funeral, it was the first time I had ever managed to say anything without jumbling up the order. Without Doctor Hooves, I don't think I would have even left my hospital bed.
I left the hospital as a young adult, ready to face the world. The hospital was providing me with a home, free of charge until I could afford to rent somewhere else. They also set me up with a job at a carrot farm. It wasn't the greatest job or the best paying, but I could do it. After a few months, I saved up enough to buy my own house. I worked for Golden Plow for a couple years before things started going downhill for me.
There was this young, popular stallion named Filthy Rich who didn't like me for some reason. He went around spreading rumors about me and finding ways to make me appear malicious when I made mistakes. It all culminated when he invited me to the town's New Years Eve party, claiming it was to apologize for being such a jerk all those years. I arrived to the party and was actually having a good time. As we counted down the seconds until midnight, I felt a slight pinch on my neck. Everything started spinning, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in an apple tree.
I returned to the carrot farm and found Golden Plow waiting for me. Apparently, I had gone crazy the night before and trashed a large portion of Ponyville. She had to fire me, to protect her business. It wouldn't look good if she continued to employ me after I had caused so much damage to other stores. Other ponies might think she had me purposefully destroy thing so she would profit from their inability to open for a few days.
There were so many angry ponies that visited my house that day. I was so nervous that by stuttering came back, and most of Ponyville decided I was just another nut-job. I was unable to get any work for years after that. Nopony wanted a liability like me anywhere near their livelihoods. For years I stayed inside my house, only coming out to get food. I became very depressed. One day, I snapped. I hated my life. I hated my body, my eyes, my voice, and especially my faulty memory. I hated the fact that I had no family, and no friends. I was completely and utterly alone. I decided that since I had fallen into this miserable life, I would fall out of it. I left my house and flew to Sunset Cliff, the one place I could be certain that if I jumped, I would die when I hit the ground. I tied a rope around my barrel, assuring that my wings couldn't get free.
I stood on the edge, my glazed eyes seeing nothing. I heard the city far below me, slowly waking up. I wanted to jump off as the sun rose. I figured it was a fitting way to end my life, to hang a black shroud over the city. A final insult to the world that scorned me, that punished me for being different. I wanted them to hurt, to feel the sadness and desperation that had plagued me for so long. I want to force everyone else to see nothing but darkness for a change.
I stood on that that cliff, listening the the wind. I recalled every insult, every injury, every spiteful action inflicted to me. With the sun just starting to push into the sky, I got ready to jump. From behind me, I heard hoofsteps and a sigh.
"Hello, my little pony."
I looked back, barely recognizing the newly returned princess though my tears, "Dun't tra ta stop, Luna. Aam jamping na matter wha," I screamed at the approaching mare.
"We won't," replied Luna. "We simply wish to talk to you, my loyal subject. After we are done, you may do whatever you like."
I kicked a loose rock towards the cliff. It hit something and bounced back, right at my head. "Saa ever yau wan, cat chaj flute mind."
"You may be somewhat blind and you may have a speech impairment. That doesn't mean you are not loved. I have heard you play the flute, it is the most beautiful music I have had the pleasure of hearing in many a year. You are a very special pony."
A tear dripped off my muzzle. "Then wha parants fall me orphanage? Why kids hat me?"
Luna stopped beside me, and sat down, "Because you are different, and ponies dislike what they do not understand. We were in a similar position to yours, a long time ago. Ponies made fun of us, mocked our stars, and sang the praises of our sister to our face. We grew withdrawn, hating ourselves, and hating those that loved our sister more. We felt completely and utterly alone. We decided to stage a coup as the sun rose. We figured it was a fitting way to get revenge, to hang a black shroud over Equestia. A final insult to the world that scorned us, that punished us for being different. We wanted them to hurt, to feel the sadness and desperation that had plagued us for so long. We wanted to force everyone else to see nothing but darkness for a change."
I stared at Luna, shocked, "Really? Felt youth same were me?" I sat down and shook my head, stunned.
Luna smiles, "Truly. And we lost so much because of what we did. We hurt the ones that loved us the most. Our sister suffered for a thousand years, racked with guilt that she couldn't save us."
I looked down, and sniffled, "Haave no famaly. Wus abbunduned. Wha aam sapused ta do?"
Luna gently turned me towards her, and pressed her horn to my head, "You Were not abandoned. Your parents loved you so much, they gave gave their lives to protect you. Let me show you a memory."
I saw three ponies flying at night, no I saw me flying with my parents. I saw us joking and laughing, enjoying the midnight air. I saw two gryphons attack us. My dad tried to fight them off, yelling at me and mom to escape. We managed to get quite a head start on the griffins before they finished my dad off. My mom was holding me in her forelegs, flying as fast as possible to a nearby village. The griffins caught up with her and kicked her in the head, knocking her out. I remember their laughter as we spiraled towards the ground. I couldn't keep a hold of mom, and we separated. I saw myself falling and writhing in pain. I saw Golden Plow find me, and carry me away.
"We are so sorry that my sister did not find you sooner. Maybe she could have help you recover more."
I burst into tears and hugged Luna, sobbing into her mane, "Mama!" I blubbered, shaking as she ran a gentle hoof over my back.
"It is okay, my little pony. We are here for you." Luna began to hum a soothing lullaby, and I slowly calmed down.
"Thaanks," I mumbled, and rubbed my eyes.
Luna smiled and nodded, "You are very welcome. Now how about we head home, and you can grace us with your amazing music."
I smiled back, and untied the rope trapping my wings, "Tha sands grat." I turned and trotted away from Sunset Cliff, hopeful for the first time in years.
Author's Note
And the story I started in January of 2014 is finally finished. What a ride.
