The SweetieMash Chronicles

Chapters

Chapter 1: Bad First Impressions
Chapter 2: Rejection
Chapter 3: Into the House of Mash
Chapter 4: Button Mash, Colt of Action
Chapter 5: CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS TRAUMATIZERS, YAY!
Chapter 6: Seeing Red
Chapter 7: Seeing Green
Chapter 8: Mrs. Wolf
Chapter 9: The Escape
Chapter 10: The not so Calm Before the Storm
Chapter 11: Storm Cheerilee
Chapter 12: Rebuild: You can (not) make amends
Chapter 13: Crime and Detention
Chapter 14: Love Tap and the Art of Annoyance
Chapter 15: Surprise Confession
Chapter 16: Damage Control
Chapter 17: Confessions, Conundrums, and Carrots
Chapter 18: Land of Pizza and Nightmares
Chapter 19: Tar, Dip, and Sandwich
Chapter 20: Only Dig for Valuable Minerals during the Day
Chapter 21: A Not so Useful Engine
Chapter 22: Fast Times at Discord High
Chapter 23: Casanova Button Mash
Chapter 24: Button Mash the Hero
Chapter 25: Why You Don’t Anger Demi-gods 101
Chapter 26: Just a Quiet and Peaceful Day

Chapter 1: Bad First Impressions

The SweetieMash ChroniclesChapter 1: Bad First Impressions

*****

Sweetie Belle sat in the Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse next to Scootaloo as the two quietly watched Apple Bloom’s one pony, one chart presentation. The sun shone brightly into the clubhouse, with the sounds of birds chirping adding to the ambiance of the calm, warm, Ponyville day.

Apple Bloom continued to smile optimistically as she pointed to the line chart behind her. A simple green line over a grid that spiked to a plateau and remained completely horizontal traveling across the X axis.

“So, as ya’ll can plainly see, The Cutie Mark Crusaders continue to enjoy steady membership numbers since its establishment some months back!” Apple Bloom said, tracing her forehoof along the green line.

Sweetie Belle smiled and clapped her hooves together excitedly.

Scootaloo stared at the graph with a bored expression. “That just means we haven’t got any new members, Apple Bloom.”

“We’ll we haven’t lost none, neither!” Apple Bloom countered.

“I don’t think you’re going to get your cutie mark in chart making over this.” Scootaloo continued.

“I liked it!” Sweetie Belle stressed. “It was upbeat! Had a positive message, you know?”

Scootaloo raised her eyelid a bit. “It was a chart, Sweetie Belle, not a bedtime story.”

“Yeah… but it goes up!” Sweetie Belle insisted, motioning towards the ceiling with her forearms.

Apple Bloom sighed. “It’s alright, Sweetie Belle, it was a long shot… anyhow who wants a dumb cutie mark in chart makin’, anyhow?”

“Well… it would be a tad on the geeky side.” Sweetie Belle admitted.

“Yeah, talk about nerd city!” Scootaloo agreed.

“Hey, everypony!” Sweetie Belle looked over the chart. “This gives me an idea!”

Scootaloo gave the chart another look over, “Cutie Mark Crusaders trash burners?” She suggested motioning out to the rather unexciting looking line on large graph paper.

“Hey!” Apple Bloom protested.

“Nooo,” Sweetie Bell replied, “we should try to expand our numbers!” She suggested. “We can maybe get our cutie marks in recruitment, or cutie marks in getting other ponies their cutie marks!”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo pondered this.

“That’s a great idea!” Apple Bloom said. “We’d increase club attendance and maybe get guidance counselor cutie marks!”

“Yeah,” Scootaloo agreed, smiling excitedly, “and I bet a recruitment cutie mark would look pretty cool!”

“Cutie Mark Crusaders recruiters, Yay!” The three cheered, all raising a forehoof into the air and slapping them against each other’s.

***

The three Cutie Mark Crusaders peered out of a bush, spying a young, brown colt with fiery brown hair, his flanks noticeably blank. A red, yellow, and orange beanie with a green propeller that spun continuously adorned his head. He sat against a tree with his eyes transfixed on a small device in front of him, staring widely and unblinkingly as he stuck his tongue out from the side of his mouth, constantly shifting his hooves to tap buttons on the small, green device which beeped in response. A pair of brown saddlebags with black crosses, with grey circles in the center, and grey arrows pointing out at the end of each line adorning the center sat next to him.

“Alright, well, how ‘bout him?” Apple Bloom suggested. “He don’t got his cutie mark yet.”

“Uh… I don’t know… what’s up with that weird hat?” Scootaloo asked. She quickly glanced around at the trees around them. “And how is that thing spinning? It’s not even windy out…”

“I like the hat!” Sweetie Belle stated.

“Really?” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo asked in unison.

“Well… it’s uh… unique…"Sweetie Bell suggested.

Okay, well… admittedly I only kinda like it because Rarity saw it and declared it a fashion disaster…

Man, my sister can be such the fussy pants sometimes…

Geez, it’s like any pony wears the wrong color in the wrong season and its cause to abduct them and start accessorizing them like they were her own personal models…

… Why am I moving?

Sweetie Belle looked down and realized she was being pushed closer and closer to the colt.

“Wait? What are you two doing?” Sweetie Belle asked as her two friends continued to push her along the ground.

“You kinda spaced out there for a sec,” Scootaloo explained. “So Apple Bloom and I decided you should talk to him first, since you like his hat and all…”

Sweetie Belle began to struggle vainly against her friends. “Wait! But he’s got this really weird look on his face! Maybe we shouldn’t…”

“This was your idea, Sweetie Belle!” Apple Bloom reminded her. “We’ll be right behind ya.”

“Oh well, okay…”

“In that bush…"Apple Bloom continued. “Where no pony can see us!”

Scootaloo giggled.

“Oh, come on! That’s not fair!” Sweetie Belle protested.

“Don’t worry!” Scootaloo called as she and Apple Bloom raced back to the bush. “We’ll be your backup ponies.”

“Oh… I guess that makes sense…" Sweetie Belle mused. She turned to the brown colt who continued to stare wide eyed at his device, oblivious to the world around him.

“Uh… hey… there… you…"Sweetie Belle offered tentatively. “WE uh… we uh well you see… we’re recruiting for our club and… thought… maybe…”

“Huh?” The brown colt looked up briefly as his device began to angrily beep at him. His eyes went wide has he refocused his attention on it.

“No. No! NOOOOOOOO!” He cried. “That was my last liiiiiife! Now I have to start ALL OVER! WHY IS LIFE SO UNFAIR TO ME?!” He moaned, followed shortly by tortured sobbing. “Auunhwuahwuahwuaaaa… ”

“Huh?” Sweetie Belle asked, confused as to what had just exactly transpired.

Whoa… this guys is more of a drama queen than my sister…

“Nice going, Sweetie Belle!” Scootaloo called from the bush.

“But I didn’t DO anything!” Sweetie Belle answered shrilly in response.

“Sweetie Belle! Do ya need to make the poor guy cry as soon as ya talk to him!?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Button!” A maternal voice called out. “Are these three fillies bullying you?!”

Sweetie Belle turned and a panicked expression took over her features as a light tan colored mare with a long, brown mane tied up in a ponytail focused blue eyes full of daggers at her. The mare wore a simple pair of brown saddlebags.

“IT’S EVERY PONY FOR HERSELF!” Scootaloo screamed, as she fled from the bush.

“But…"Apple Bloom began, quickly darting her eyes from Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and finally the angry looking mare. “Sorry, Sweetie Belle!” She shouted as she ran off in pursuit of Scootaloo.

“I SEE NO PONY IS GETTING THEIR CUTIE MARK IN BRAVERY, TODAY!” She shrieked after her friends.

“What exactly is going on here, young lady?” The mare growled out.

Sweetie Belle’s ear’s flopped down as she looked up into the angry, accusing eyes of the mare and gulped. “I didn’t… I mean… I just wanted…”

“Moooooooooom!” The colt wailed, pointing at Sweetie Belle. “She made me lose my last liiiiiife!” He added as if the filly had introduced a major tragedy into his life.

“But… but, I just wanted to make friends!” Sweetie Belle insisted.

To Sweetie Belle’s great relief, the mare’s expression softened as she smiled and rolled her eyes.

“Button, that’s nothing to cry about.” The mare said in a soothing tone.

“But… but… the space ponies of Glurf’zord 4 are now heroless with the unrelenting space cruisers of the evil General Korft’igarden making their great assault!” Button protested.

“Button, you can play Space Defender 2, later.”

Button sighed. “Yes, mom…”

The mare smiled at Sweetie Belle. “And what is your name?”

“Uhh… I’m Sweetie Belle.”

Sweetie Belle looked up as the mare seemed to nod with satisfaction.

Huh… she’s kinda looking at me the same way Rarity does when she’s just made a dress she’s really proud of.

“Button, darling? Why don’t you stop making a scene and introduce yourself to the nice filly?”

“Sniff… okay…”Button said softly, closing a lid over his wailing. “My name is Button Mash.”

“Uh hi… I’m Sweetie Belle, oh… but… uh…"Sweetie Belle glanced away for a second. “I guess I said that already.” Sweetie Belle turned back to Button. “I uh… really like your hat…"she offered.

“REALLY?!” Button asked as his face lit up. “Cool! ‘Cause I think it looks sooo cooool, but every other pony gives it this weird look and always asks how it’s spinning even when there’s no wind! And then they ask me like I would know, but how the hay would I… ”

“Button!” Button’s mother said forcefully. “Language!” She reminded.

“Ooops, sorry…"Button sighed and trotted over to his saddle bags sadly, he stuck his head into one and emerged with a bit in his mouth. “Swoory mom…" Button muttered, presenting the bit to his mom.

Sweetie Belle shot button’s mom a quick glance.

Button’s mom chuckled. “Swear jar.” She informed. She looked back at Button. “Keep it.”

Button’s face lit up. “Rweally?!”

Button’s mom nodded, “In fact, why don’t you fish a few bits out of my bags and you two can grab a couple milkshakes.” She suggested.

Button’s face lit up. “Yay! Milkshakes!”

Sweetie Belle smiled as well.

“Wait…"Button uttered looking over Sweetie Belle suspiciously.

He looked at his mom and began to speak in a low, guttural language. “”

Button’s mother rolled her eyes. “”

Sweetie Belle looked between the two with a confused expression as Button continued to shoot her a peculiar look.

“” Button insisted.

“”

Button stepped up to his mother and placed a very serious looking face inches from hers. “”

Button’s mother grinned wickedly. “” She purred.

Button looked over Sweetie Belle almost as if he was seeing her for the first time. “Yay! Milkshakes!” He exclaimed. He quickly trotted over to his mother’s saddlebags and stuck his head in, and pulled it out with a mouthful of bits.

“Thwanks Mom!” He uttered.

“You’re welcome, sweetie,” His mother answered.

The bits in Buttons mouth began to glow with a faint, green aura and levitated into Button’s saddle bags.

Sweetie Belle smiled sweetly.

“Thank you, Sweetie Belle,” Button’s mom said. “That was very thoughtful.”

“Yeah thanks, Sweetie Belle,” Button said.

“Well, I’ll let you two get to it.” Button’s mom stated. “Don’t stay out too late, Button, dear!”

“I won’t! Bye, mom!”

“Bye… uh… Ms. Button’s mom…" Sweetie Belle offered.

Well, he’s a bit weird, but hey… FREE MILKSHAKE!

“So…"Sweetie Belle began, breaking the awkward silence between the two as they trotted down the road, “I notice you don’t have your cutie mark, yet.”

“Huh?” Button responded. “Oh that… I don’t really care about that.” He admitted.

“WHAT?!” Sweetie Belle shrieked. “How can you not care about your cutie mark?!”

“There’s just more important things, is all.” Button argued.

“WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR CUTIE MARK?!”

Button smiled. “There are entire worlds that need saving! The downtrodden ponies of the Klefka colonies cry out for a hero!” He declared dramatically, looking up towards the sky with a forehoof in the air. “The peace loving ponies of the Hirulian plains need protection! And ponies cry out for relief and justice from the unrelenting criminals of Haythom!” He glanced back at Sweetie Belle. “Pretty cool, huh?”

Sweetie Belle gave him a nonplussed expression. “You’re talking about your dumb games, aren’t you?”

“They’re not dumb!” Button insisted, a bit taken aback. “Here!” He sat down and took off his saddlebag, and fished out the rounded, rectangular, green device with his mouth, presenting it to Sweetie Belle.

With a green glow, the device floated into Sweetie Belle’s forehooves as she sat on her haunches. “Fine… I’ll try it…"she said in a somewhat irritated voice.

Whatever, just a few minutes of this stupid thing and I’ll hand it back to him…

*But then…*

“Hey! This is pretty fun.” Sweetie Belle mused.

“I tooooold youuuuu!” Button Mash sung out.

The device beeped angrily at Sweetie Belle. “Aww, I died.”

“Oh, it’s okay. You have lots more lives. Hey! Let’s keep walking while you play.” Button suggested. “I’d do it all the time, if I had magic.”

“Well… okay!” Sweetie said with a nod.

*…and then…*

“PRESS THE ATTACK BUTTON FASTER!” Button cried. “Now slower… FASTER! DODGE THE MISSILES! JUMP THE LAZERERERERER~!”

“I’M TRYING!” Sweetie Belle retorted as she fixed her eyes on the device floating in front of her with a light green aura around it.

Sweetie Belle and Button continued to trot at a steady pace.

“You’re getting pretty good!” Button mused.

Sweetie Belle glanced at the colt and smiled. “Thanks, I’m really enjoy…"She stopped as the device beeped angrily at her again.

“Oops…sorry…” Button offered.

Sweetie Belle looked back at the device, a determined look on her face. “Wait, one more try!” She insisted.

“Sure, Sweetie Belle,” Button responded. “But we’re almost… ”

“WHA!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed as she tripped on a step and face planted into another.

“… there.” Button finished.

Sweetie Belle sat up her face red, partially from the impact and partially from embarrassment.

I hope nopony saw that…

“You okay?” Button asked.

“Uh… fine!” Sweetie Belle insisted. “Let’s just get those milkshakes, okay?”

Button nodded. “Sure!” He replied with a smile.

The two entered the milkshake parlor and walked up to the counter towards a white stallion behind the counter.

“What’ll it be?” The stallion asked.

Button sat his saddlebags down, stuck his head into one, and fished out a few bits with his mouth, placing them on the counter.

“One chocolate milkshake, please!” He said happily.

“And a vanilla one!” Sweetie Belle added.

“Coming right up!” The stallion responded as he collected the bits.

“Vanilla?” Button Mash asked.

“And what is wrong with vanilla?!” Sweetie Belle demanded.

“Uh… nothing… it’s just so plain…”

“Oh!” Sweetie Belle replied, with an irritated tone. “What makes you say that?”

“Uh… well… I mean… there’s no color there… it’s just white, for starters.” Button argued,

Sweetie Belle’s face contorted into a look of genuine anger. “Are you saying there’s something wrong with being white?!” She asked, her voice getting increasingly shriller.

“Uh… no…”

Sweetie Belle began to walk forward, closing the short distance between her and Button. “So, what ARE you saying?”

Button began to scotch back, away from the angry filly who continued to approach him.

Sweetie Belle, in turn, continued to walk forward.

“It’s just… erm… umm…” Button began to look worried.

Alright, what’s that thing mom always says to do when you’ve made a girl mad at you?!

“Ooof…” Button uttered as he backed into the wall.

Oh, right…

“Hey, Sweetie Belle… I uh… really like your mane.”

Sweetie Belle paused and her expression softened. “You do?”

“Yeah!” Button replied. “It’s this cool pink and purple color you know? It goes really well with your white fur.”

Sweetie Belle’s face lit up. “It does?!”

Button nodded. “Totally.”

Sweetie Belle beamed. “Thank you…"She squeaked out. “Uh, hey… don’t worry about the milkshake thing, alright?”

Button shrugged. “Sure! No problem.”

The two quickly found an empty table and sat at it.

The white stallion motioned to the two and the smiled back at him in anticipation.

“Order up!” He shouted, expertly tossing the milk shakes in front of the young ponies.

Sweetie Belle smiled to herself.

Maybe I was wrong about Button!

He’s not so weird.

And he’s actually kinda co…

Button quickly turned to Sweetie Belle with a large smile on his face. “MILKSHAKE RACE! 1, 2, 3, GO!”

Sweetie Belle looked at Button with equal parts confusion and concern.

‘Sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp!’

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Button Mash screamed as he held his forehooves to his brain frozen head. He promptly fell over in pain.

‘Thud!’

Button continued his screaming on the floor, as it gave away to tortured sobs of anguish. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAHUAHUA!”

Sweetie Belle’s expression of concern gave way to annoyance as she reached for her milkshake and slowly began sipping it.

Never mind…

***

Sweetie Belle slowly trotted up the ramp to the Cutie Mark Crusaders clubhouse as Celestia lowered the sun in the horizon, the last bits of sunlight slowly fading from the face of Equestria.

“Okay… ” She heard Scootaloo call out excitedly. “So, while you’re fighting the armed guards, Sweetie Belle floats me over the spike pit with her magic, so I can hit the switch on the other side, closing the trap door back up, and… ”

“How many times do ah have to tell ya?!” Apple Bloom interrupted. “If Sweetie Belle were with us, we wouldn’t need to rescue her!”

“Ooooh, right! I keep forgetting that part!” Scootaloo replied.

“Uh, hey guys…” Sweetie Belle said as she emerged from outside.

“Sweetie Belle!” The other two crusaders exclaimed.

“You’re just in time to help us rescue you!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

Apple Bloom smacked a forehoof against her face. “Scootaloo, do ya ever think about the things ya say before ya say them?”

“Hey! Fortune favors the bold!” Scootaloo countered.

“That’s not what that…” Apple Bloom sighed and looked up at Sweetie Belle. “Hey! We felt so bad about leaving ya back there that we were gonna launch a rescue mission!”

“Yeah! And get awesome rescue pony cutie marks!” Scootaloo added.

Apple Bloom grinned nervously as she elbowed the orange pegasus in the ribs.

“Oh, but we weren’t supposed to mention that part…” Scootaloo added.

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes.

Sweetie Belle gave her two friends a small smile. “Uh, thanks…” She offered.

“So, you escaped!” Scootaloo observed as she began to trot around her friend in a circle.

“Uh…” Sweetie Belle replied.

“Were you tortured?” Apple Bloom asked, joining Scootaloo in her loops around Sweetie Belle.

“Erm… ”

“Yeah, yeah! I bit that mean ol’ lady strapped you down and tickled you with a feather until you cried ‘uncle’!” Scootaloo suggested.

“She was pretty nice, actually.” Sweetie Belle admitted.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged glances.

“Ah was afraid this might happen.” Apple Bloom uttered.

Scootaloo nodded in agreement. “Stockholm syndrome!” She declared. “I heard fillynapped ponies get it if they’re held too long…”

“What?” Sweetie Belle protested. “I don’t have Stockholm syndrome!”

“That’s exactly what someone with Stockholm syndrome would say!” Apple Bloom countered.

“She could be brainwashed…” Scootaloo suggested.

“I’M NOT BRAINWASHED!” Sweetie Belle shrieked.

“Don’t worry, Sweetie Belle!” Apple Bloom replied. “We know what to do!”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked at each other and nodded. “CUTIE MARK CRUSADER MIND DE-PROGRAMMERS, YAY!”

“Girls, I’m not… WHOA!”

Without warning Apple Bloom and Scootaloo pounced, tackling Sweetie Belle to the ground.

“Wait… deprogrammers?” Apple Bloom said. “She’s not a robot.”

“She could be!” Scootaloo countered.

“Girls! I’m not a robot! That’s ridiculous!”

“How can we be sure?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Yeah? Hey! Say ‘Cutie Mark Acquisition Program’.” Scootaloo commanded.

“Why the heck would I say something like that?!”

“You would if you were a robot!” Scootaloo argued.

Apple Bloom nodded in agreement

“Oh, well then… I’m not saying it.” Sweetie Belle replied.

The other two fillies exchanged glances.

“Uh… Ah guess that means she’s not a robot, then…"Apple Bloom said.

“Guess not…” Scootaloo said.

“Get offa me!” Sweetie Belle shrieked as she pushed her two friends off of her. “Look! When I said I just wanted to be Button Mash’s friend, his mom gave him a bunch of bits and had him take me out for a milkshake.” She explained.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo paused and exchanged glances, they quickly retreated to the other end of the clubhouse and began to speak in hushed tones.

“She knows his name…” Scootaloo said.

“And, he bought her a milkshake,” Apple Bloom added.

“So… a date?” Scootaloo asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Totally!” Apple Bloom replied.

“Why are you two whispering over there?”

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom turned around, giant grins plastered on their faces. They began to sing in unison. “Sweetie Belle and Button Mash sittin’ in a tree.”

“WHAT?! NO! It wasn’t like that!” Sweetie Belle insisted.

“K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”

“Stop it! I’ll bite!” Sweetie Belle threatened, her face starting to flush red.

“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes to foal in the… ”

“GRAAAAAH!” Sweetie Belle launched herself at the other crusaders.

“GHak! Wait, Sweetie Belle! We were only jokin’… OW!” Apple Bloom exclaimed as Sweetie Belle swatted at her with a forehoof.

“Yeah, it’s totally cool you were getting mad smooches on with this colt, and OWCH! STOP BITING MY WING!”

***

“Mooooom, I’m hoooome!” Button Mash called out as he opened the door.

Button’s mom poked her head into the hallway. “Welcome back, dear. Did you have fun with Sweetie Belle?”

Button’s face lit up. “I did! First I showed her my Joy Boy, then we had milkshakes, and I got this wicked bad brain freeze, but then she played my Joy Boy some more, and she’s getting really good at it!”

Button’s mom smiled warmly. “Good, I’m really glad you made a new friend.”

“Yeah, me too!” Button said, nodding his head up and down. “I can’t wait to show her more of my games.”

“I think that’s a really good idea!” Button’s mother replied. “In fact, how about you invite her over for dinner tomorrow?”

Button gasped loudly. “Can I mom!? Can I, can I?!”

Button’s mom giggled. “Of course, dear! I suggested it. Why don’t you ask Sweetie Belle tomorrow and I’ll go clear it with her parents.”

“YAY!” Button Mash exclaimed. “Oh boy! I’m going to go pick out some games we can play right now.”

Button’s mother smiled as her son bolted for his room. Followed by a cringe at the sound of a crash.

“I’m okay!” Button assured from down the hall.

Button’s mom smiled to herself again and returned to the kitchen.

Finally… I was beginning to worry he’d never make any friends…

Chapter 2: Rejection

The SweetieMash Chronicles

Chapter 2: Rejection

-oooooooo-

Sweetie Belle gave an exasperated sigh as she trudged out of the schoolhouse.

"So Sweetie Belle…" Scootaloo called out. "Hey! Sweetie Belle!"

Sweetie Belle continued to march away from the school, attempting to ignore her friend.

"Scootaloo," Apple Bloom said, attempting to interrupt. "You've teased her enough!" She insisted.

"Sweetie Belle! Sweetie Belle! Sweetie Belle! Sweeeeetieee Belllllle~!"

"WHAT?!" Sweetie Belle shrieked, turning to face her friend with an angry expression plastered on her face.

Scootaloo grinned wide. "Are you going to see Button Mash today? Huh? Are ya? Are ya?"

"NO!" Sweetie Belle responded in a piercing tone.

"Are you suuuuuuuure~?" Scootaloo cooed.

"Scootaloo, ya've been joshing her all day!" Apple Bloom protested. "Ease up!"

"What?" Scootaloo responded playfully. "I just want to know if she's going to go get her mad smooches on with Button Mash!" She added with a huge grin.

"I'M NOT GOING TO SMOOCH BUTTON MASH!"

"Okay, okay, geez…" Scootaloo replied, holding her forehoves up defensively in front of her. "I was just messin'."

"But ya've been messin' with her since this mornin'!" Apple Bloom countered.

"Yeah, well…" Scootaloo paused briefly. "… She's fun to tease!" She declared.

Sweetie Belle began to growl in frustration.

"Scootalooooo…" Apple Bloom began in a warning tone.

"I'm mean, I don't really care if she wants to be all like…" Scootaloo stared up towards the sky and placed a forehoof to her forehead. "… Oh, Button Mash!" She said dramatically. "I love your dorky hat! Kiss me! Kiss me you fool!" Scootaloo wrapped her arms around open air and began smacking her lips together "Mwah!Mwah!"

"I AM NOT GOING TO KISS HIM! I DON'T EVEN LIKEHIM!" Sweetie Belle screeched. She began to huff and puff, her face red, her eyes focused to lasers pointing at Scootaloo.

"Uh…sorry…" Scootaloo offered meekly.

"Hey, Sweetie Belle!"

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo winced as the sound of an excited colt calling for Sweetie Belle rang out. The two turned, facing Button Mash as Sweetie Belle focused her rageful expression on him.

Button trotted up to the trio of fillies.

"Hi, Sweetie Belle!" Button Mash said cheerfully as he closed the distance between himself and the white unicorn.

Sweetie Belle growled out in response.

"Hey!" Button continued, oblivious to Sweetie's body language. "Mom says we can have you over for dinner, tonight! Isn't that cool?!"

"Grrrrr…"

Apple Bloom's and Scootaloo's expressions turned down right panicky and they began to wave their forehooves in the air while mouthing the words 'no' and 'stop' to Button Mash.

"So I picked out a bunch of my favorite video games we could play!" Button continued, his lips pulling up into an increasing larger grin. "It's gonna be awesome! I got Foally Fantasy one through six, Super Mustang Brothers, Battlefoals, Twin Dragons…"

"No."

Button paused. "Huh?"

"I said, 'No.'"

Disappointment began to write an epic trilogy across Button's face.

"Oh…" Button replied meekly. "Maybe some other time?" He asked hopefully.

"NO!" Sweetie Belle shrieked.

"Ba… but…" Button stammered as he began to tear up. "What I do?! Did I do something wrong?!" He placed his forehooves on Sweetie Belle's shoulders. "Please! Tell me what I did and I'll fix it!" He pleaded. "I PROMISE!" He added as water begun to stream out of his eyes.

"GET OFF OF ME!" Sweetie Belle cried shrilly as she swatted the Colt's hooves off her body. "I HOPE I NEVER SEE YOU EVER AGAIN!"

Button's lip began to quiver, and he tried to choke back sobs as his body began to shake.

Sweetie Belle turned and fled from the group, sprinting fast and far down Ponyville's path, away from the school.

"Ehehuahen… huaaaaaHUaaaWOUAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! SWEEEEETIE BELLLLLE!" Button Mash cried out, quickly following it up with a chorus of tortured wails and sobs that caused the young colt to quake and tremble.

Scootaloo's and Apple Bloom's eyes went wide as they stared at each other.

"This is bad…" Scootaloo mused.

"Reeeeeaaaal bad!" Apple Bloom agreed.

-ooooooo-

Button's mom pushed open the door to Carousel Boutique, a bell above the door ringing as she entered carrying her saddlebags. She tentatively trotted into the brightly lit, pink interior of the store and glanced at the racks and racks of gem encrusted dresses and mannequins sporting a myriad of different clothing and looks.

"Hello?" She called out into the shop.

"Just a second, dearie!" A voice rang out from a backroom. A white, female unicorn trotted into view, her purple, curled mane and tail bouncing up and down with each step. She smiled warmly at Button's Mom as she looked her over with red-rimmed, magnifying glasses.

"Hello, and welcome to Rarity's Carousel Boutique!" The mare said. "I'm Rarity, the couturier, clothier, and seamstress of everything in the shop." Rarity smiled wide. "Are you looking for anything in particular, or did you just have the sudden urge to step inside and see what suits your fancy." Rarity teetered. "Hehehe… Sorry, dear… fashion joke… couldn't resist."

Button's mom smiled back at the friendly fashion designer. "Actually, I was told I could find Sweetie Belle's guardian here…"

Rarity's face immediately shifted from optimistic joy to the very picture of dread. "Oh no! What did her friends and her do this time?! Oh please be merciful with her!" Rarity pleaded. "She's just a young filly!" She asserted dramatically. "She doesn't know what she's dooooiiiiiinnnnnnngggg!" Rarity wailed out as she lowered herself to her knees and placed her forehooves together in front of her face, shaking them up and down.

Button's mom stared blankly at the scene in front of her. "Uh…actually Sweetie Belle met up with my son yesterday and I was hoping to invite her over for dinner tonight…"

Rarity's eyes shot open and her face burned crimson. "OH!" She rose to her hooves. "Uh… right… hehe… silly me…"

Button's mom smirked as she cocked an eye open. "So, Sweetie Belle is a bit of a trouble maker, is she?"

Rarity grinned, rolling her eyes. "Oh, you simply have no idea!"

Button's mom chuckled. "I understand, my little Button can be quite the hooffull at times too…so, I guess you must be Sweetie Belle's mother, then?"

Rarity gritted her teeth hard as her left eye began to twitch and her pupils shrank to pinpricks. "Sssssisssster…" She hissed out between clenched teeth.

"Oh…I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…"

Rarity's glasses began to glow with a faint, blue aura. The glasses practically flew off Rarity's face as she stomped closer to Button's mother.

"So, dinner?" Rarity began, lacing her words with deadly venom.

Button's mother began to backup, glancing frantically around the Boutique.

"Well I'm terribly sorry, but our parents are out on vacation and I don't think I could clear…"

"How much for that?" Button's mother asked, pointing towards a lace black and red piece of intimate apparel draped over a mannequin.

Rarity paused and looked over the item, glanced back at the light tan mare, and uttered out an amount.

Button's mom smiled and sat on her haunches, allowing her saddle bag to slide to the ground. She spun her body and placed her forehooves into one of the bags, fishing out a hefty sack of bits. "I'll take it."

Rarity blinked a few times and levitated the bag over to her, glancing inside. "Of course…let me just get your change…" She said as a handful of bits levitated out of the bag.

"Oh, that won't be necessary." Button's mom responded.

"But…" Rarity began to protest.

Button's mom smiled warmly at the unicorn. "It's such an expertly crafted item. I couldn't possibly let the beautiful, young mare that made it go without knowing how much her work is appreciated."

Rarity's eyes shot open as her pupils turned to sparkly pools that shimmered in the light. "Oh, of course… I'm sorry, but I never caught your name…"

"It's…"

-ooooooo-

Sweetie Belle threw open the door to Carousel Boutiques and sprinted inside, stopping once she was in to catch her breath.

The NERVE of some ponies!

Inviting me to dinner, of all things!

I mean…where does heeven get off?!

…

Uh…

Geez…

Maybe I didn't need to yell at him like that…

Sweetie Belle looked around the room full of dresses, the store notable absent of anypony.

"Rarity?" She called out.

"In here, Sweetie Belle!" Her sister responded.

Sweetie Belle trotted towards the living area of the boutique, the sound of cheerful laughter drifting out as she did.

"Hey Rarity, I…" Sweetie Belle stopped dead in her tracks and her blood ran cold as she laid eyes upon the lightly tanned mare that sat across from Rarity. She stared at Button's mom with eyes full of fear.

I'm done for…

"Sweetie Belle, come in here and say 'hello' to…"

"HI MRS. BUTTON MASH'S MOM!" Sweetie Belle said, interrupting her sister.

Button's mom smiled and nodded at the young filly. "Hello again, Sweetie Belle how was…"

"GREAT!"

"… school?" Button's mom shot a quick, confused glance at Rarity which was mirrored by the white unicorn.

"So, did you see Button Mash today?" Button's mom continued.

Sweetie Belle began to sweat bullets. "NOPE!" She replied.

"Oh, that's strange…he said he'd talk to…"

"I NEED TO GO UPSTAIRS!" Sweetie Belle declared. "FOR REASONS!" She added, bolting out of the room and sprinting up the stairs of the boutique.

"I'll uh…I'll just go and see what's troubling her…" Rarity said.

"Sure…" Button's mom replied with a concerned expression on her face.

-ooo-

Rarity rapped lightly on Sweetie Belle's door with a forehoof. "Sweetie Belle, darling? Can I come in?"

"Go away!"

"Sweetie Belle, I only want to talk…"

"… FINE!"

Rarity opened the door with her magic and trotted into the bedroom, a beige colored room with lots of hearts and curved lines painted on the walls. Sweetie Belle laid on top of her pink bedspread, her face buried in a pillow.

"Why, whatever is the matter, dear?" Rarity asked, as a blue aura gently closed the door behind her.

"I don't want to go to Button's house…"

Rarity trotted over to the bed. "Why ever not?"

Sweetie Belle paused. "…He's weird!"

Rarity's expression turned stern. "Sweetie Belle! I'm surprised with you! Just because somepony is different isno reason to not want to be their friend."

Sweetie Belle looked up from her pillow. "He's the colt with that weird, spinny hat."

It was Rarity's turn to pause. "Oh… well… that's still no reason to…"

"No!" Sweetie Belle replied.

"Sweetie Belle, you really should reconsider…"

"I SAID, 'NO!'" Sweetie Belle shrieked out.

Rarity nervously glanced at the closed door to the room. "Uh… look, dearie… I don't want to guilt you into anything… but…"

"But, WHAT, Rarity?!" Sweetie bell replied in a shrill tone, as she glared at her sister.

"It's just that… well… I was talking to Button's mom and she mentioned that he doesn't have any friends…"

Sweetie Belle's eyes shot open. "Wha… no friends? Like… none at all?!"

Rarity nodded. "In fact, until yesterday, no pony outside his family had even spoken more than a few sentences to him."

Sweetie Belle felt a tightness in her chest, as if her heart began to violently lash out at its surroundings.

No friends?!

He must be sooo lonely!

Sweetie Belle began to tear up slightly.

Just…just like I was before I met Scootaloo…

OH MY CELESTIA! WHAT HAVE I DONE!?

Rarity looked over her sister quizzically. "So, erm… as I was…"

Without warning, Sweetie Belle shot up in her bed, jumped off it, and hit the ground on all fours. Her horn and door glowed green as the door flew open. She sprinted out the door, down the hall, down the steps, and out of the boutique without another word.

Button's mom glanced out of the living area with a worried expression on her face.

Rarity trotted down the steps and into view.

"Uh… she's… really excited about tonight…" Rarity offered as she plastered on a smile that was a littletoo wide across her face.

"Sure…" Button's mom replied as pensive eyes tracked the young filly down the road.

-ooo-

"Eh… ehaaa… whua… ehhh…"

Button sat against a tree and quietly sobbed to himself as he stared down at his green Joy Boy, tears falling from his eyes and dripping onto the wet screen below.

'BUZZZZ!'

"Sniff… ehhee… henh…"

Button paused, pushed a few buttons on the center of the device, wiped the screen with a forearm, and began absentmindedly pressing the side buttons once more as he continued to sob and cry.

"This is all your fault, you know that?" Apple Bloom said as the two sat some distance away, watching Button Mash cry as he continued to play his game.

"ME!" Scootaloo protested. "I didn't rip the poor colt's heart out and stomp on it in front of him!"

"Yeah, but ya didn't have to tease Sweetie Belle and until she felt mad about everythin'!" Apple Bloom added.

Scootaloo paused as she pondered the perfect comeback.

"Yeah, but still!" She shot back.

Nailed it!

A+

Apple Bloom gave a disgusted sigh. "Ah can't believe he's still cryin'."

"Yeah, you'd think he'd run out of tears at some point, the big crybaby." Scootaloo mused.

"SCOOTALOO!"

"What? I'm just sayin'…"

"Ya need to go up and talk to him!" Apple Bloom declared.

"ME?! Why me?!"

"'Cause it's ya who who got Sweetie Belle all riled up like that!" Apple Bloom accused, pointing a forehoof at Scootaloo.

"But… but he's all weird… and moist…"

"That don't matter right now!" Apple Bloom insisted. "You need to fix this mess you caused!"

"Alright, alright!" Scootaloo replied. She began to trot over to Button Mash, stopped halfway, and looked back at Apple Bloom with a pleading look on her face.

Apple Bloom shot Scootaloo a stern look and pointed a forehoof out at the colt.

Scootaloo frowned and turned back.

"BUTTON MASH!"

The two fillies looked on as Sweetie Belle shot down the path on a course directly towards the brown colt.

"IT'S SWEETIE BELLE!" Scootaloo shouted. "HIDE!" She quickly spotted a nearby bush and dove into it.

Apple Bloom trotted over to her orange pegasus friend. "What is it with ya and hidin' anyhow?"

"I figure I can get my cutie mark in hiding!" Scootaloo explained. "I bet it'd be awesome! Like…a ninja or something…"

"Yeah, or it could be somethin' stupid like a dumb bush." Apple Bloom countered.

"I uh… didn't think about that…"

"Button…huff…Mash…puff!" Sweetie Belle called again, as she attempted to catch her breath.

"Whua…"

'BUZZZZ!'

Sweetie Belle looked at Button with a frightened, apologetic expression. "Your game…I didn't mean to…"

Button looked up and made loud, phlegmy sniffing sound. "SNORT…It's okay…I just got started, anyhow…"

"Hey…Button, I'm…"

"Sweetie Belle," Button interrupted, "I'm really sorry I asked you to dinner. I understand why you said no."

"Uh…you do?" Sweetie Belle replied.

"Yeah, it's 'cause I'm so weird and no pony wants to be around me."

Sweetie Belle felt the pain in her chest worsen, as if somepony had dug fishhooks into her heart and began to pull it with every word Button uttered.

"I mean… I just sit around and play video games all day, and don't talk to anypony…" Button continued. "I don't know how to make friends… It's no surprise the first pony to even talk to me wants nothing to do with…"

"STOP!" Sweetie Belle commanded.

"Uh… alright…"

Sweetie Belle quickly rubbed a forearm over her eyes, clearing the small pool of tears that began to form. "I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. You didn't deserve it."

"Oh, okay…" Button replied, the barest hints of a smile returning to his face. "Does this mean…does this mean we can be friends?"

Sweetie Belle nodded with a small smile. "Of course!" she squeaked out.

Button beamed wide.

"Sooooo…" Sweetie Belle continued. "See you tonight?"

Button gasped. "REALLY!?"

Sweetie Belle's smile widened. "Yep!"

Button Mash raised up on his back legs and began to excitedly raise his forelegs into the air. "YAAAAAY!"

"Oooof…" To her great surprise, Sweetie Belle soon found brown forelegs wrapped around her.

"Oh thank you, Sweetie Belle! THANK YOU SO MUCH!"

"Uh…" Sweetie Belle smiled and returned the hug. "Sure Button."

"Well… looks like everything went an' worked itself out…" Apple Bloom mused.

Scootaloo took this opportunity to emerge from her bush.

"GIVE ME A 'K'!"

Apple Bloom looked at her friend quizzically.

"GIVE ME AN 'I'!"

"GIVE ME AN 'S'!"

Her back turned to her friends, Sweetie Belle shot a glare at the tree in front of her.

"GIVE ME ANOTHER 'S'!"

"Scootaloo! Quit it!" Apple Bloom demanded.

"GIVE ME ANOTHER 'I'!"

"Ah'm warning you!"

"GIVE ME AN 'N'!"

"GIVE ME A 'G'! What does that spell? KISSING! What does Sweetie Belle want to do with Button Mash? KISSOW! APPLE BLOOM! STOP GET OFFA ME! OUCH! WHY DO YOU TWO ALWAYS GO FOR MY WINGS?!"

Button's mom waited pensively inside the house, pacing back and forth inside the kitchen.

Alright, well…I'll cook Button's favorite dinner for him regardless…

And I'll spend some time playing video games with him if she says 'no'…

Button's mom paused and stared at the front door to the family's house, quite afraid she'd spend the evening attempting to console her heartbroken son.

Oh please, Celestia… let her say 'yes'! Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh…

The door to the house flew open "Moooooooom! I'm hoooooome!"

Button's mom's face lit up at the sight of her smiling son. "Hello Button! Did you talk to Sweetie Belle?" She asked, though she was almost certain she already knew the answer.

"I DID!" Button replied excitedly. "She said she could come over! Isn't that soooo cooool?!"

Button's mom smiled warmly. "It sure is, sweetie…"

-ooooooo-

"I'm really proud of you, Sweetie Belle," Rarity said as the two stood inside the shopping area of Carousel Boutiques. "You did the right thing."

"Yeah…I guess so…" Sweetie Belle uttered. "I'm kinda afraid about going to Button's house alone, though…"

Rarity smiled. "Fear not, dear sister! Button's mother was so kind as to invite me as well!"

Sweetie Belle's face lit up. "Really!"

Rarity nodded. "Really! I shall accompany you as your backup pony on your play date."

"IT'S NOT A DATE!" Sweetie shrieked.

Rarity tittered. "Hehe… of course not dearie…"

"Hey, you won't run away at the first sign of trouble, will you?" Sweetie Belle asked in a concerned tone.

"Of course not, sweetie! Sister Solidarity all the way!" Rarity declared, throwing a forehoof into the air.

Sweetie Belle beamed wide. "Thanks, Rarity!"

"Of course, dear!" Rarity's eyes began to drift, as something behind her sister caught her attention.

"I just wish that I could make friends with someone who wasn't such a weir…"

"THAT DRESS DOESN'T HAVE ENOUGH RIBBONS!" Rarity screamed as she rushed at the offending garment, tore it from the rack with a blue aura and sprinted back into her work area, dress flying behind her.

Sweetie Belle sighed heavily. "Never mind."

Chapter 3: Into the House of Mash

The SweetieMash ChroniclesChapter 3: Into the House of Mash-oooooooo-

Sweetie Belle sighed as a light-blue aura surrounded the red, gem-studded bow in her hair and adjusted it for what must have been the dozenth time that evening.

“Rarity!” she squeaked out. “It’s fine! He probably won’t even notice.”

Rarity and Sweetie Belle trotted down a moon lit path on the way to Button Mash’s house as Rarity continued to fuss with the bow in her little sister’s mane.

“Now, Sweetie Belle,” Rarity began as she trotted along wearing a pair of white, purple-gem-studded saddlebags, “it’s important to look our best when we go out to visit company.”

“You’re not dressed up, or anything.” Sweetie Belle argued.

Rarity tittered to herself quietly. “Well, I always look my best.”

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes at her sisters comment. “I don’t know why we have to make such a…”

-ooooo-

“… big deal about this, Button Mash.” Button’s mom said soothingly to her young colt as the two sat in front of their family’s front door.

“I know mom… but…” Button turned to his mother with a worried expression. “…what if she thinks I’m weird?”

Button’s mom smiled. “Button, it’s not important if she thinks you’re weird or not. What’s important is that she accepts you for who you are, weirdness or not.”

Button dwelled on his mother’s response briefly, raising a forehoof to his chin. “… Well... what if she thinks I’m too weird to accept?” Button countered

“Button sweetie, don’t worry so much!” Button’s mom said, continuing to smile. “Just show her some of your video games, I’m sure you two will have a lot of…”

-ooooo-

“… fun about sneakin’ around, following Sweetie Belle?” Apple Bloom asked, as she and Scootaloo snuck around, following Sweetie Belle and Rarity as the two unicorns approached Button’s house.

The house was much like any other in Ponyville. Beige, thatched roof, with lots of large windows set all over the house, spacious with two large floors, a small third floor, and a basement.

“We’re not sneaking around because it’s fun,” Scootaloo replied. “We’re sneaking around because I don’t trust this Button Mash… or his mom…” Scootaloo glanced to her side briefly. “And because it’s fun.”

“What’s not ta trust?” Apple Bloom inquired, cocking an eye up at Scootaloo. “He jus’ invited Sweetie Belle over for dinner, and her big sister is even with her.”

Scootaloo slowly looked to her left, then to her right before leaning closer to Apple Bloom and speaking in a hushed tone. “You notice how he doesn’t have any friends?”

“Well, sure! That’s why Sweetie Belle is goin’ over in the first place.”

“Yeah, but did you ever wonder why?”

“Ah jus’ thought it was ‘cause he never talked to nopony.”

“Yes, but why?”

“Uh, ‘cause he spends all his time playing those beepin’ doohickeys of his?” Apple Bloom suggested.

Scootaloo shook her head and placed her forehooves on Apple Bloom’s shoulders. “I bet it’s ‘cause his mom secretly captures ponies he meets and ships them off to a faraway land to work as slaves building those little games piece by piece.”

“Scootaloo, thare is so much wrong with that idea, ah don’t even know where to begin!” Apple Bloom replied, brushing the orange pegasus’s hooves off of her.

“Well, you ever hear of anypony being friends with Button or his mom?” Scootaloo asked, painting suspicion all over her face as she leaned in close to Apple Bloom and stared her in the eyes.

“No, but ah haven’t heard of any ponies goin’ missin’, either!” Apple Bloom countered, backing up slightly.

Scootaloo grinned. “Well, maybe they haven’t done it yet!”

Apple Bloom paused and thought about this. “That don’t make a lick of sense!”

Scootaloo shrugged. “I’m only thinking about…”

-oo-

“… Sweetie Belle, I want you on your best behavior,” Rarity said. “Be polite. If somepony passes you something, grab it with both hooves, keep your arms off the table, and be sure to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.”

“Rarity,” Sweetie Belle moaned, “I know how to behave! Why is it, every time you take me out…”

-oo-

“… you are a soldier of Pondor!” Button’s mother said enthusiastically, as she looked down at her son. “Whatever comes through that gate... you will stand your ground!"

Button Mash grinned determinedly at the door, and began to dig at the carpet underneath it with a hoof.

‘Knock, knock’

“Oh, that must be them.” Button’s mom said with a smile. “I’ll get the door, sweetie,” she said as she trotted over to the door and opened it.

Rarity and Sweetie Belle stood in the doorway. Rarity smiled and…

“SWEETIE BELLE!” Button called out excitedly, leaping into the air.

“WHAAA!” Sweetie Belle cried out in alarm as the young, brown colt pounced on her.

‘Thud!’

“Hi, Sweetie Belle,” Button said as he grinned excitedly and stood above the young filly.

“Er… hi, Button…” Sweetie Belle replied tentatively as she looked up at the smiling colt.

Rarity looked at the display in front of her with a slightly bemused expression and stifled a giggle with her forehoof.

“Button Mash! Personal space!” Button’s mom called out in a chastising tone.

“Oops, sorry mom…” Button said as he backed away from Sweetie Belle.

“Don’t apologize to me, apologize to Sweetie Belle!”

Button held out a arm towards Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle reached out her own arm and looped it around Button’s as the young colt helped her to her hooves. “Sorry Sweetie Belle…” Button uttered embarrassedly as he broke eye contact.

“Uh… it’s fine…” Sweetie Belle replied.

Button Mash suddenly turned back to Sweetie Belle with a smile. “Hey! I like your bow! It’s all sparkly and cool!”

Sweetie Belle finally cracked a smile. “Thanks! My sister made it for me!”

“Radical!” Button responded.

“Sorry,” Button’s Mom offered glancing over at Rarity, “my little pep talk to Button might have been a little too effective.”

“Quite alright, dear,” Rarity replied with a smile. “Sweetie Belle likes getting a little dirty,” she added as she glanced at her younger sister. “Don’t you, dearie?”

Sweetie Belle shot her sister a quick glare. Does she haveto use my own words against me?

Rarity looked back to her hostess. “Uh, I should apologize for my earlier behavior, today. One forgets themselves when they spend much of their days working alone…”

Button’s mom smiled and nodded, “It’s quite alright, I understand how that can feel.”

“Mom! Can I show Sweetie Belle my room?” Button asked. “Can I?! CAN I!?”

Button’s mom smiled and nodded. “Of course, sweetie!”

“YAY!” Button cried as he looped a arm around of one of Sweetie Belle’s. “Let’s go!”

“Eeeek!” Sweetie Belle gave out a startled yelp as Button Mash dragged her along at a rapid pace, springing back into the house, down the hall, and up the stairs.

Rarity chuckled once more as she watched the enthusiastic colt drag her little sister behind him.

“Oh!” Button’s mom exclaimed as she covered her mouth with her forehooves. “I forgot to have him introduce himself to you!”

“Quite alright, dearie.” Rarity replied. “He seemed very excited to see my sister.”

Button’s mom grinned. “He hasn’t stopped talking about her since he got back from school.” Button’s mom held the door open wide. “Please, come inside.”

Rarity nodded and trotted past the doorway. “Thank you, dear.”

-ooooo-

“See! He attacked her!” Scootaloo said, motioning out towards Button’s house.

“That looked mighty friendly for an attack.” Apple Bloom mused.

“Whatever,” Scootaloo replied. “I still don’t trust him…let’s peek into his window and see what they’re doing.”

“Scootaloo,” Apple Bloom replied narrowing her eyes slightly, “Most bedrooms in Ponyville are on the second floor.”

“Uh…” Scootaloo thought about this. “Let’s get a ladder and spy on them!” she suggested trotting off away from the house.

Apple Bloom sighed. “Ah better get my cutie mark in spyin’ or somethin’ for all this…this is gettin’ ridiculous!”

-ooooo-

Sweetie Belle took a quick glance around Button Mash’s room. A beige room with a blue bed, blue book cases, a toy chest, and the few odd toys strewn about. If it weren’t for the large display against the wall and the series of rectangular items with cords leading into it, Sweetie Belle would have considered the bedroom to be fairly typical of a young colts.

“Oh this is going to be soooo cool!” Button Mash said excitedly as he nabbed a small rectangular cartridge in his hooves and held it up for Sweetie Belle to see.

Sweetie Belle squinted and read the title out loud. “Cloptra: Hard Corps?” she looked over the art on the cartridge, a pony wearing futuristic-looking armor and firing a rather large rifle at a giant, black, sinister-looking robot of some sort.

“Looks… uh… exciting?” Sweetie Belle offered.

“It’s soooo rad!” Button insisted. “And we can play together!”

Sweetie Belle smiled a bit. “Oh, sounds fun!”

Button beamed at Sweetie Belle and trotted over towards the display, inserting the cartridge into one of the boxy devices in front of it.

-ooooo-

“So, Love Tap,” Rarity said to the light tan mare as she gently placed her saddlebags on the kitchen floor, “I hope you won’t mind that I brought a little, uh… something to have with dinner.”

Love Tap smiled warmly at Rarity. “No, not at all.”

With a light-blue aura surrounding it, a bottle of red wine floated up out of Rarity’s saddlebag. Rarity glanced back at Love Tap. “Uh, you do drink wine, don’t you?”

Love Tap looked at the bottle with just the hints of pensiveness in her features. “Well, I’m more of a cider pony…” she admitted sheepishly. “…but I’m happy to give this a try.”

Rarity giggled. “Fear not, dear. For I shall be your sommelier for the evening!” she declared as she happily levitated a corkscrew, and a couple of cloth-wrapped bundles out of her saddlebags. She began to unwrap the bundles with her magic, revealing a pair of fishbowl wine glasses.

-oooo-

“Alright, so first we get the ladder,” Scootaloo said, “then we’ll place it next to Button’s bedroom so we know when to make our daring rescue!” Scootaloo said.

Apple Bloom pulled a ladder away from the barn wall, attempted to steady it on her back, and stumbled with an “Ooof!” as she lost her balance.

Apple Bloom stood up to her hooves and shook her head clear a bit. “Well, what if she doesn’t need a darin’ rescue?”

Scootaloo paused and blinked a few times. “Uh… I guess… well… I guess we just watch them, then…”

Apple Bloom sighed. “Well that’s no fun… ah really hope we don’t get a peeping cutie mark because of this…”

-ooooo-

“Sweetie Belle,” Button moaned, “You need to shoot the missiles when they’re fired out at you!”

The foals tapped on their controllers in frustration as the light from the display washed them in an assortment of bright colors.

“I’m TRYING!” Sweetie Belle insisted as she frantically tapped at the controller in her hooves. “Give me a break” She squeaked out. “I hadn’t even seen a video game until yesterday!”

“And you need to jump with the robots shoot lasers at you!” Button added.

“I’M JUMPING! I’M JUMPING!”

“Oh! Grab that power-up!” Button said, pointing out to the screen.

“What power-up?!” Sweetie Belle cried frantically. “What’s it look like?!”

Button narrowed his eyes and glanced at Sweetie Belle. “How can you not know what a power-up looks like?!”

“I TOLD YOU, I HADN’T EVEN SEEN A VIDEO GAME UNTIL YESTERDAY!” Sweetie Belle shrieked out.

Sweetie Belle’s ears flopped down and she glared angrily at the screen as a loud exploding sound emanated from the displays speakers.

Button’s face dropped. “SWEEEEEETIEEE BELLLLLE!” He wailed.

“STOP YELLING AT ME!” Sweetie replied. “THIS IS REALLY HARD!”

Button Mash sighed. “Again?”

Sweetie Belle shot the young colt a determined glare and nodded. “Again!”

-ooooo-

Love Tap shot Rarity a slightly surprised look as the white unicorn swatted the tan mare’s hoof away from the full wine glass on kitchen counter.

“Nu-uh-uh,” Rarity tutted, “the wine needs to breathe for about 15 minutes first.” she informed.

“Oh…sorry…” The mare said meekly.

“Quite alright, dear,” Rarity replied. “I’m sure this is your first experience with fine wine.”

One of Love Tap’s eyes twitched slightly at Rarity’s statement as she fought the urge to frown.

“So,” Rarity began, “forgive me for asking, but is it just little Button Mash and you?”

Love Tap regained her fumbled smile and nodded. “Often times, yes…Button’s father travels quite a bit and our eldest son has taken quite the interest in my husband’s work.”

“Ahh… and he does..?”

“He’s been interested in microprocessor technology ever since he and I were foals, he’s actually helped design many of the items Button plays with.”

“Ah, those little… uh… beeping things your son plays with…” Rarity said sheepishly.

Love Tap shot a quick glance towards the ceiling. “Video game systems,” She corrected, looking back at Rarity. “My husband designs circuit boards, CPUs…you know, those sorts of things.”

“Erm… right… fascinating…” Rarity offered, as she blushed slightly and levitated one of the glasses of wine up to her mouth.

Love Tap blinked a few times, staring at Rarity. “Doesn’t the wine need to breathe first?”

“You know…” Rarity replied. “…the whole breathing process is overrated…” she said as she lifted a hoof to hold her own glass and used her magic to bring the other over to Love Tap.

Love Tap snatched the glass out of the air and nodded politely to Rarity.

Rarity raised her glass. “Cheers!”

Love Tap lightly tapped her glass against Rarity’s with a small ‘tink’.

“Cheers!” She replied.

The two mares tilted their heads back and quickly drained the wine from their glasses.

-ooooo-

“Ugh, this is so much easier to carry when there are three of us…” Scootaloo moaned as she held the backend of a ladder on her back and trudged up with path.

“Well, it was your idea.” Apple Bloom reminded as she glanced behind her, also trudging with the ladder.

“Hey! I’m just looking out for Sweetie Belle here!” Scootaloo said.

“Did it ever occur to you that, maybe, Sweetie Belle doesn’t need lookin’ after?”

Scootaloo strained under the weight of the ladder. “But…I’ve always been the one to look after her…” Scootaloo protested.

“Scootaloo! She’s not a little foal! She can take care of her…” Apple Bloom paused and dropped the ladder.

“Hey! Watch it!” Scootaloo called out as she also dropped her end of the ladder.

“Is that why you’ve been ridin’ Sweetie Belle so hard, today?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Uh…is what why?” Scootaloo replied nervously.

“You’re jealous of Button Mash, Ya think he’s gonna take over lookin’ after Sweetie Belle!” Apple Bloom said, leveling an accusing forehoof at Scootaloo.

“NO!” Scootaloo insisted forcefully.

… Loading Scootaloo comeback list.

… Searching …

… Suitable comeback located …

“SHUT UP!” Scootaloo shouted.

“Don’t tell me to shut up!” Apple Bloom replied angrily. “Ya shut up!”

“No, you shut up!”

“No, ya!”

“No you!” Scootaloo said as she closed the distance between her and Apple Bloom, leveling an angry glare inches away from the yellow filly’s face.

“YA!”

“YOU”

-ooooo-

“Dodge!” Button commanded.

“I’m TRYING!” Sweetie Belle insisted.

“DODGE!”

“THIS ISN’T EASY FOR ME, BUTTON!”

“DODGE!”

“STOP YELLING ‘DODGE’ AT ME!” Sweetie Belle shrieked.

The sound of a fiery explosion once again played out the speakers.

“Sweetie Belle, you didn’t dodge!” Button moaned.

“Rrrrgghh, I was trying!” Sweetie Belle insisted angrily.

“NO!” Button Mash insisted forcefully. “Do…or do not. There is no try.”

“WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!” Sweetie Belle shrieked.

Button sighed. “Mom would have dodged…”

“WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET HER TO PLAY YOUR STUPID GAME AND HANG OUT WITH YOU, THEN!” Sweetie Belle countered.

Button’s ears flopped to the side of his head as his eyes went wide and begun to tear up. “Eh…enh…heh…whua…WHUAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Sweetie Belle glanced nervously at the door. “Hey, shuuuuu…” she said, placing a hoof up to her mouth. “... It’s okay… Let’s try again…”

Button wiped a hoof under his nose. “Snnnnifff... Really?” Button replied hopefully.

Sweetie Belle closed her eyes, smiled, and nodded. “Really.”

“Alright…” Button replied. “Uh…sorry I yelled at you, Sweetie Belle.”

“It’s alright...” Sweetie Belle replied. “Sorry I yelled back.” she tapped her controller a few times and looked back at the screen. “Ready?” she asked as she grinned excitedly.

“Ready!” Button replied.

-oooo-

“Thanks again for helping me set the table, Rarity.” Love Tap called out as she continued to fry French toast in a shallow pan in front of her.

“Of course, dearie!” Rarity called out from the dining room. She poked her head into the kitchen. “You wouldn’t happen to have any parsley, would you?”

Love Tap turned to face Rarity with a slightly surprised look on her face. “Uh, no…wait…are you garnishing the plates?!”

“Well, I just thought a splash of green would really make the dish sing.” Rarity explained.

“You know the kids won’t even notice…” Love Tap replied.

Rarity shot Love Tap a glare, levitated her glass of wine into view, and emptied the contents into her mouth. She raised her muzzle into the air. “Hmmmph! Well, just because some ponies are more concerned with fancy doodads over appearance doesn’t mean we all have to be…”

Love Tap reached over for her own glass of wine, and similarly drank the liquid down. “I’m sorry,” she hissed out. “I can’t help if my husband and I are better at keeping up with technology than most ponies.”

Rarity narrowed her eyes further as her face flushed and she puffed out her cheeks.

Love Tap looked over the angry mare’s expression and attempted to relax her own a bit. “Uh… is there any more wine? It’s really good…”

Rarity’s own expression softened as she remembered herself. “Oh… of course… I’m... sorry, darling… I don’t know what came over me…”

Love Tap breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m sorry, too. Honestly, all your wine knowledge and, uh…I’m not quite sure how to put this…” Love Tap paused to place a forehoof to her chin and stare out the corner of her eyes “…er…high society mannerisms …”

“Savoir faire? Je ne sais quoi?” Rarity suggested.

Love Tap looked back at the white unicorn and chuckled. “Yes, that…it’s a little intimidating…”

Rarity gasped. “You were intimidated by me!? Oh, darling…” Rarity began, rolling her eyes slightly. “..And here I was feeling intimidated by all your fancy technology knowledge…”

Love Tap smiled. “It’s alright… here.” She raised her glass. “Let’s start over…”

Rarity looked at the empty glass. “Just a second, dearie…”

Rarity trotted over to her saddlebags and levitated out a bottle of white wine while unwrapping a fresh set of glasses.

“Uh, how much wine did you bring?” Love Tap enquired.

Rarity giggled nervously, “Hehe… Three bottles… I may have been a bit overenthusiastic…” she admitted.

Love Tap chuckled. “I’m not complaining,” she said, trotting over to Rarity.

Rarity floated a glass of white wine into Love Tap’s waiting hoof and the two clinked glasses again.

“To new friendships!” Rarity said with a smile.

“To new friendships!” Love Tap echoed as she mirrored the smile.

The two mares took a few sips from their glasses.

Love Tap stared at the table as she begun to absentmindedly swirl the glass in her hoof. “If only there was something we could do that the kids would…” Love Tap paused and her eyes went wide. “I GOT IT!” she declared.

“Uh, got what, sweetie?” Rarity replied.

Love Tap placed her forearms on Rarity’s shoulders, continuing to hold her wine in a hoof. She stared into Rarity’s blue eyes with wide, exited-looking teal eyes. “Three words: French… toast… tower.”

Rarity paused, mulling over the words…

“… It’s brilliant!” Rarity declared.

Love Tap beamed and nodded her head enthusiastically. “I know!”

“The kids will love it!” Rarity squeaked out, rising her forehooves together under her chin.

“I know!”

“Why, with my knowledge of aesthetics and your knowledge of French toast structural integrity, we can’t fail!”

“YES!” Love Tap replied excitedly.

“I shall draft a design, post haste!” Rarity stated, as she rushed to her saddlebags and pulled out a sheet of paper, a quill, and a bottle of ink.

Love Tap ran back to the stove. “And I’ll create more building material!”

“And I shall pour us more wine!” Rarity cried.

Love Tap grinned mischievously. “YES!”

-ooooo-

“Ow! Stop hitting me!” Scootaloo cried as she tussled with Apple Bloom on the ground.

“YA stop hitting ME!” Apple Bloom replied.

“No, you!”

“NO, YA!”

“NoOoOoOoOoO, YOU! OW! Again with the wings…wait…Apple Bloom TRUCE! STOP!” Scootaloo pleaded.

Apple Bloom unclamped her teeth from around Scootaloo’s wing and slowly backed away.

“Sorry I got mad at you, Apple Bloom…you were right…” Scootaloo admitted sheepishly.

“Ah was?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Yeah…I just don’t want Sweetie Belle to stop being our friend…” Scootaloo added.

“Scootaloo, just ‘cause Sweetie Belle is makin’ a new friend doesn’t mean she’s gonna stop being ours.”

Scootaloo sighed. “Yeah… I know… I’m just so used to being the one who’s always there for her, you know…”

Apple Bloom paused as she thought about this. “Hey! We can still see if she needs rescuin’!” she suggested.

“Really?” Scootaloo asked beaming.

“Sure!” Apple Bloom replied, rising a hoof into the air with a smile.

Scootaloo excitedly raised her own hoof into the air and slapped it against Apple Blooms.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS RESCUERS, YAY!”

-ooooo-

“You got him!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed excitedly as the sound of rumbling resounded from the speakers.

“We got him!” Button Mash corrected happily.

Sweetie Belle blushed slightly. “You did most of the work…”

“That’s okay.” Button Mash replied. “You really helped me out!”

Sweetie Belle grinned. “I did, didn’t I?”

Button nodded. “Ready for the next level?”

Sweetie Belle threw an enthusiastic forehoof into the air. “Let’s do it!”

-ooooo-

“Yes!” Rarity exclaimed as she stacked pieces of French toast on a large serving platter against each other like playing cards, if playing cards were made out of egg soaked toast. “Yes, yes, yes, yes!” She carefully inserted a number of toothpicks into the toast, pinning them together.

Love Tap placed another huge plate of French toast onto the large, wooden, dining room table. “Whe’re doing it, mare!” She said, slurring her words a bit. “Whe’re making this hapen!”

-ooooo-

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo set the ladder up against Button Mash’s house, next to a window that flashed with a myriad of colors as the sounds of excited laughter and noises from the game inside rang out.

“You first.” Scootaloo said.

“No, ya can go first.” Apple Bloom insisted.

“No, no, no, no…” Scootaloo replied, waving her forearms in front of her. “You first!”

“You’re the one who’s worried about Sweetie Belle, ya should climb up first.”

Scootaloo thought about this then nodded. “Alright…”

-ooooo-

“Sweetie Belle! Watch out!” Button cried.

“There’s too many of them!” Sweetie Belle replied as she continued to tap on her controller rapidly. “I’M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT!”

“No way!” Button shouted, narrowing his eyes at the screen. “I won’t let us wipe on the last boss.” He said determinedly as he dropped his controller to the floor.

“Button?! What are you…”

Button placed his hooves over the controller’s buttons, and began to rapidly mash his hooves against the sides.

-ooooo-

“No! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…” Rarity said as she frantically attempted to hold a several foot tall tower of French toast in place with her magic as it began to teeter and lean to the side.

“I got it!” Love Tap replied, quickly grabbing more pieces of French toast. “I can reinforce the foundation!”

Beads of sweat began to form around Rarity’s face as she held the tower in place, Love Tap carefully adding supporting French toasts to the sides and pinning them into place with toothpicks.

-ooooo-

“Whoa…” Scootaloo uttered as the ladder began to rock slightly.

“Scootaloo!” Apple Bloom shouted. “I’m slipping!”

“Hold on!” Scootaloo cried.

“Ah… ah can’t! EEEEE…” As Apple Bloom’s hooves slipped on the rungs of ladder, Scootaloo quickly leaned down and snatched Apple Bloom’s bow in her mouth.

“I wwon’t lwet ywou fwall!” Scootaloo shouted through a mouthful of bow.

-ooooo-

Sweetie Belle looked on with awe as Button’s character began to expertly dodge attacks, shot projectiles out of the sky, and deliver an endless stream of well-placed shots into the boss as Button sat transfixed on the screen, rapidly pounding away at his controller with his hooves.

“Come on… come on…” Sweetie Belle murmured.

A series of explosions sounded out from the speakers, as the screen began to emanate a bright, white light.

“YOU DID IT!” Sweetie Belle cried.

Button Mash shook his head, as if clearing it from a trance. “I did?”

“Button! That was AMAZING!” Sweetie Belle announced shrilly as she wrapped her forearms around the brown colt.

Button Mash paused briefly, then smiled as he returned the affection.

“Hehehehe…”

Sweetie Belle’s face flushed crimson as she recognized the cadence of her sisters sniggering. She let go of Button and gently distanced herself from him.

“Rarity!” She cried. “Uh…how long were standing there?”

“Jusht long enough to see your reshounding victory over…uh…whatever that horrid thing wass…” Rarity replied, with a slight slur.

Sweetie examined her red faced sister carefully. “Are you drunk?” she asked.

“Drinking, dear.” Rarity responded, as she levitated her wine glass up to her lips and took another sip. “Preshent tensse…”

“Hi, Sweetie Belle’s sister,” Button said.

“Rarity.” Rarity informed.

“Hi, Rarity.” Button replied. Button peered past the white unicorn. “Where’s mom?”

“Hiccup… ah yess… your mother said something about a noise outside…”

-o-

“Hwold on, Awppwe Bwoom!” Scootaloo cried, teeth still clamped around Apple Bloom’s bow.

“There’s nothin’ to hold on to!” Apple Bloom replied as she swung precariously above the ground.

‘Rrrriiiii...’

Apple Bloom’s and Scootaloo’s eyes went wide as the bow began to tear.

Apple Bloom looked down and gulped.

‘… iiiiiip’

Apple Bloom screamed. “AAAAAAAAAOOOFF!”

“Got ya!” Love Tap announced as she caught the falling filly.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo breathed a sigh of relief as the light tan mare gently lowered Apple Bloom to the ground. Their relief was quickly and violently crushed by the giant boulder of dread as they both stared at the mare who blankly looked at Apple Bloom, then Scootaloo, then the ladder.

“We’re in a lot of trouble… aren’t we?” Scootaloo asked sheepishly.

Love Tap took another look at the fillies, then smiled. “How would you two like a nice, French toast dinner?”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked at each other and grinned.

-ooooo-

Rarity and Button Mash looked at Apple Bloom and Scootaloo in confusion as Love Tap escorted the two fillies inside.

Love Tap shot her son and Rarity a nod and warm smile that soothed their nagging questions.

Button, instead, turned his focus to a sheet that sat in a long, pyramid like shape on the center of the dining room table and extended nearly to the ceiling.

Sweetie Belle, on the other hoof, was not so easily swayed.

“What are you two doing here?!” Sweetie Belle demanded.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo nervously glanced at each other.

“We were… crusading!” Scootaloo suggested.

“Yeah…in… landscaping!” Apple Bloom added.

“… Night landscaping…” Scootaloo added.

“I can’t BELIEVE you two!” Sweetie Belle shrieked at the two fillies.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo hung their heads in shame.

“We’re sorry…” they murmured.

“How DARE you go crusading without me.” Sweetie Belle said.

“Oh… right!” Scootaloo said, looking back up. “Yeah, totally… we definitely should have told you.”

“Right!” Apple Bloom agreed. “Won’t happen a second time, Sweetie Belle!”

“Well…” Sweetie Belle began, “…I forgive you two just as long as you promise not to do it ever again.”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo smiled wide. “Promise!” the two replied with a smile.

The three raised their hooves into the air and excitedly slapped them together. “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, YAY!”

“Hey, mom, what’s the thing on the table?” Button asked, as he pointed at to the thing on the table with a forehoof.

Love Tap smiled at her son. “Be patient sweetie, you should introduce yourself to Sweetie Belle’s friends, first.”

“Oh, right!” Button said as he turned his focus to the two fillies. “My name is Button Mash!” he said, extending a forehoof out.

Scootaloo gave it a quick bump with her own forehoof. “Nice to meet ya, Button!”

Apple Bloom walked up and looped her forearm around the colts.

“Whoawhoawhoawhoa…” Button muttered as Apple Bloom shook his forearm up and down vigorously.

“Please to meetcha!” Apple Bloom said with a smile.

“Ahem.” Rarity said.

The four foals turned and looked at Rarity as Love Tap smiled and gave Rarity an approving nod.

Rarity grinned wide and as the sheet began to glow with a light-blue aura.

“I present to you the Eiffoal tower!” Rarity declared dramatically as she lifted the sheet up and off a large, yellow and brown French toast structure composed of four support pillars that arched up into a platform which another set of smaller support pillars sat on holding up a large pile of French toast that nearly extended to the ceiling.

“WHOA! COOL!”

“That’s amazin’!”

“THAT’S THE BEST DINNER TOWER I’VE EVER SEEN!.. Also, the only Dinner tower I’ve ever seen…”

“YAY! Best Dinner ever, mom!”

Rarity trotted over to Love Tap and leaned close to her ear. “Ssthink we over did it?”

Love Tap grinned and blushed slightly, raising her hooves up in a way that left a tiny bit of space between them to indicate ‘Just a tad’.

-ooooo-

“Awww, Ah fell down again!” Apple Bloom moaned as she tapped the buttons on her controller.

“Who keeps killing me?!” Scootaloo demanded as she looked at the screen in frustration.

Sweetie Belle stifled a giggle, as she smiled and tapped away on her own controller.

Button Mash said nothing, narrowed eyes focused on the screen as his tongue stuck out from his closed mouth.

“Well, I have to admit,” Rarity said from the doorway as she looked over the four foals as bright colors from the display filled the room, “The kidss really like thesse video gamess…”

“Sniff…”

Rarity turned to Love Tap with a look of surprise. “Are you crying, dearie?”

“Na…no…” Love Tap uttered, as she wiped tears from her eyes. “… Okay, a little bit…” she admitted.

“Why, whatever for?”

“I’ve never seen Button play with so many foals his age, before…”

Rarity smiled and placed an arm over the light tan mare’s shoulder. “Come on, dearie. We should at leasht sample that dessert wine I brought…”

“Well…” Love Tap trailed off as she looked over her son and the three fillies he was playing with and smiled. “… I guess they can play a little bit longer…”

The two mares turned from the doorway as the four little ponies continued to focus on the display in front of them.

“Oh, COME ON!” Sweetie Belle shouted at the screen.

“The winner is…” A voice called out from the speakers.

“YAY!” Button shouted throwing his forehooves into the air.

“No fair!” Apple Bloom moaned. “You probably play this all the time!”

“Yeah!” Scootaloo agreed. “Sweetie Belle, back us up here!”

Sweetie Belle grinned. “It’s okay Button, they’re just jealous.”

“SWEETIE BELLE!” The other two fillies protested.

Button Mash turned to the young, white filly next to him and smiled.

Chapter 4: Button Mash, Colt of Action

The SweetieMash ChroniclesChapter 4: Button Mash, Colt of Action-oooooooo-

Button Mash trotted out of the school house into the warm, sunlit Ponyville day. His game-pad saddlebags bouncing lightly as he walked down the few schoolhouse steps and onto a worn path. The propeller that adorned his beanie spun round and round as he put some distance between him and the school.

“Finally!” he sighed out.

Button trotted past the groups of giggling foals towards a familiar, comfortable tree, sat his saddlebags down, and poked his head into one. He fished out a rectangular device with buttons on the side and a screen near the top.

Button leaned his back against the tree, turned on his device and smiled.

“Your days are numbered now, Dr. Ponotnik,” Button said, smiling excitedly to himself.

Button settled in for a nice, peacefully, uneventful day of…

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, YAY!”

Button peered up from his device, as he noticed Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom excitedly chatting away.

“So, what are going to do today?!” Scootaloo asked excitedly.

“Ah know!” Apple Bloom said. “Hair stylist!”

“Love it!” Scootaloo replied.

“My sister says we aren’t allowed near her hair straightener after we almost set her cat on fire.” Sweetie Belle said.

“But her fur was just a little singed…” Apple Bloom whined.

“Ooo! I got one! Street Sweepers!” Scootaloo suggested.

“We tried that already…” Sweetie Belle reminded, “the Mayor asked us to stop when we hit bedrock.”

“Hey! Watcha girls playing?” Button called out trotting up to the group. “Can I play?”

“Hey Button,” Sweetie Belle said with a small smile and a nod.

“Heya, Button!” Apple Bloom said happily.

“Yo.” Scootaloo said.

“We’re not playing anything,” Sweetie Belle explained. “We’re crusading for cutie marks.”

“Oh, cool!” Button exclaimed. “Sounds fun!”

“It is fun.” Sweetie Belle said.

“Most of the time…” Scootaloo added.

“When things go as planned.” Apple Bloom said.

“Which is pretty much never.” Scootaloo said.

Apple Bloom sighed, “Yeah…”

“We still have fun trying, at least!” Sweetie Belle insisted.

“So uh… can I crusade for cutie marks with you?” Button asked.

The three fillies exchanged quick, unsure glances.

“Huddle up, girls!” Apple Bloom called.

The three fillies locked their arms around each other’s shoulders.

“I thought you said he didn’t care about his cutie mark.” Scootaloo said.

“Well… he doesn’t,” Sweetie Belle admitted, “but we can’t just leave him alone…” She nodded her head towards the young colt. “I mean, look how happy he is just to be talking to us.”

The three glanced over at Button who continued to wait patiently for a response, his mouth pulled open wide in an eager, goofy, full toothed smile.

The three fillies turned back into their huddle.

“Ah say we take him with us, the more the merrier!” Apple Bloom said.

Scootaloo thought about this, “Well… alright… Hey! I know how he can be a lot of help.”

“Scooataloo…” Sweetie Belle uttered in a warning tone as she leveled suspicious eyes at Scootaloo.

“Don’t worry! I won’t make him do anything we wouldn’t do.” Scootaloo insisted.

The three went silent.

“Is anypony else a little scared that that’s not reassurin’… like… at all?” Apple Bloom asked.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo merely hung their heads in response.

“So uh…” Button interrupted.

“You’re in!” Scootaloo said as the three fillies broke their huddle.

“Yay!” Button cried as he enthusiastically rose on his backlegs and waved his forehooves about.

“But you have to be our point man,” Scootaloo added.

“’Kay,” Button replied. “What’s that?”

“It means you’re the first to try our crusading ideas,” Scootaloo said. “You know…like our front lines.”

“Cooool!” Button said.

“Scootaloo!” Sweetie Belle protested.

“What?” Scootaloo replied. “He’s a man… uh… sorta…”

“I’m with Sweetie Belle,” Apple Bloom said. “It don’t feel right makin’ Button do our dirty work for us.”

“Yeah,” Sweetie Belle agreed, “he could get hurt!”

“Fear not, damsel!” Button said heroically as he zipped over to Sweetie Belle and placed his forearm around her shoulders. “For I, Button Mash, will bravely face down any dangers that might befall us on our epic quest!”

Sweetie Belle cocked an eye at Button, “Are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into?”

“Well, I’ve tanked before,” Button explained, as he sat back down on his haunches, “I know how to draw agro.”

Sweetie Belle’s ear’s flopped down and she knitted her brow, “What?”

“I think he said he used to be a tank,” Scootaloo said.

“That doesn’t make sense!” Sweetie Belle squeaked out.

“I’m not sure what drawin’ crops has do with anythin’, neither…” Apple Bloom added.

“Come on, Sweetie Belle!” Button pleaded. “I wanna do it! Let me be point man! Please!?”

“Well, if you’re sure…”

Button nodded his head up and down vigorously.

Scootaloo smiled. “Then it’s settled.”

-ooooo-

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS BASE JUMPERS, YAY!”

Button peered over the roof of the Apple family’s barn at the unforgiving ground below and gulped. He then glanced at the pack on his back.

Sweetie Belle joined him and peering over the side. “Uh, girls? I’m not sure this is very safe.”

“It’s base jumping!” Scootaloo reminded. “It’s not supposed to be safe.”

“Well, this just seems a bit more unsafe than usual…” Sweetie Belle added.

“Are ya sure these parachutes are gonna work?” Apple Bloom asked looking over to Scootaloo.

“They’re parachutes! You pull the string and they open!” Scootaloo insisted. She trotted over next to Button Mash and pointed a forehoof out to a bush on the ground, “And you can just aim for that for a nice soft landing!”

Sweetie Belle interjected, “I’m still not sure…”

“It’s alright, Sweetie Belle!” Button said. “I trust her!”

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom exchanged a quick glance then looked back at Button. “You do?” they said in unison.

Button Mash nodded, “And as point man, it is my duty… no my honor to brave the dangers for the benefit of our epic quest! For I am, Button Mash, Colt of Action!” Button declared as he stood up on his back legs and held a forehoof into the air for dramatic effect. Without a second thought, he jumped off the roof and pulled the cord on his parachute. “GeeeeronnimOUCH!”

Button fell like a rock, his parachute scarcely making it out of the pack before landing on a heap on top of him and the bushes.

“ARRRRRRRRRGH! It hurts! IT HURTS! THE AGONY! STABBING ME FROM ALL DIRECTIONS!”

“Button! Are you alright?!” Sweetie Belle called out in concern.

“HOW COULD A BUSH BE MADE OUT OF PAIN?!”

“HOLD ON, BUTTON! I’M COMING!” Sweetie Belle cried shrilly.

Apple Bloom quickly rushed over and peered over the side, “Wait, Sweetie Belle! That’s a…”

Sweetie Belle jumped off the roof and pulling her chute string, effectively mimicking the same results as Buttons just seconds ago.

“AIEEEEEEEEOWIE!” Sweetie Belle shrieked.

Apple Bloom sighed, “…Thorn-berry bush…”

The parachute covered bush vibrated and pulsated as Button Mash and Sweetie Belle screamed and shrieked, attempting to free themselves from their tangled parachutes and twisted mass of thorny vines.

“Ooooh…” Scootaloo uttered, “I totally forgot thorn-berry bushes have thorns…”

“How can ya forget something like that?!” Apple Bloom demanded, motioning a forehoof out to Scootaloo. “It’s right in tha name!”

Scootaloo shrugged. “What am I, a bushtologist?”

“STOP THRASHING! YOU’RE MAKING IT WORSE!” Sweetie Belle screamed.

“But the PAIN,” Button cried, “It surrounds me on all sides! GO ON WITHOUT ME SWEETIE BELLE, I’M DONE FOR!”

“I can’t go on without you, I’m STUCK!” Sweetie Belle squeaked out.

“REMEMBER ME AS THE BRAVE COLT THAT LEAPED INTO DANGER FOR THE GOOD OF THE FELLOWSHIP!”

“Well, I WOULDN’T have to remember you if our FRIENDS would just come down here and GET US OUT!” Sweetie Belle answered, her voice continually climbing octaves into ranges that threatened to give dogs splitting headaches.

“We should probably go help them,” Apple Bloom said as she stared down at the bush.

“On it!” Scootaloo replied, shifting her weight back into her haunches.

“SCOOTALOO!” Apple Bloom cried as she refocused her attention on the orange pegasus.

Scootaloo stopped and turned to Apple Bloom. “What?!”

“You were gonna jump!”

“Uh…” Scootaloo looked down at the thrashing mass of thorn bush and parachutes, “…you can’t prove that!”

“Let’s jus’ take the ladder,” Apple Bloom said, as she narrowed suspicious eyes at Scootaloo.

The two fillies made their way across the barn roof and down the ladder, trotting over to the thorn-berry bush that was now, strangely quiet.

“Hi Apple Bloom, Hi Scootaloo.” Button Mash said.

“Not a word, Scootaloo…” Sweetie Belle said in a warning tone. “Not a word…”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo raised forehooves to their muzzles and stifled giggles as they looked into the bush.

Button Mash was suspended by vines and strings, his legs sprawled out in all directions and he had smears of purple juice all over his fur. Sweetie Belle was in a similar state, except she was upside down and on top of the young colt. Her smears stuck out like a sore thumb on her white coat. Additionally, the two’s parachutes had completely tangled up with each other and the foals, lashing the two together.

Apple Bloom’s and Scootaloo’s hooves quickly proved insufficient for the task of holding in the fillies’ laughter.

“Pfft…HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Uh, girls?” Button Mash began. “As point man, I highly recommend not jumping.”

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. “It’s a little late for that, Button…”

“HAHAHAhahehehehe…” Scootaloo managed to gain some control over her giggle fit. “Do you… pft… do you two need us to come back later? Hehehe… you seemed a bit tied up at the moment… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“GET US OUT!” Sweetie Belle shrieked.

“Hehehe… Alright…” Apple Bloom said. She and Scootaloo poked their heads into the bush clamped their teeth around one of the parachutes. They began backing up, attempting to pull the parachute and the attached foals out of the bush.

The fabric stretched as the two dug their hooves into the ground and struggled against the resistance of the material. The parachute and those attached to it were firmly bound to the bush.

“PULL HARDER!” Sweetie Belle demanded.

“Whewef twyin’!” Apple Bloom replied through a mouth full of parachute.

Scootaloo simply let out a determined “Grrrrrr…” as she continued to back up with her share of the parachute, the task getting increasingly more difficult.

Apple Bloom suddenly lost her footing, placing a back hoof onto a small rock that slipped out from under her.

“AWWHH!”

“WHHHAA!”

“NO WAIT! OTHER WAY!” Sweetie Belle screeched.

“Uh-oh…” Button muttered.

The taunt parachute pulled the two fillies directly into the bush and into the tangled mass of limbs and string that were Button Mash, Sweetie Belle, and their parachutes.

“Ooofff!”

“OWIE!”

“OW!”

“OUCH!”

“ARRRRGH!” Scootaloo screamed. “WHY ARE THERE SO MANY THORNS IN THORN-BERRY BUSHES?!”

“THIS IS WORSE THAN WHEN WE TRIED TO GET OUR TRAILBLAZING CUTIE MARKS IN THE EVERFREE FOREST!” Sweetie Belle screeched.

“Oh! Thorn-berries!” Apple Bloom said, as she craned her neck out and nibbled on some of the purple buries dangling in front of her.

“WHY IS THIS BUSH FULL OF SUFFERING?!” Button Mash wailed as the three fillies on top of him continued to struggle against their spiky bounds.

After much time spent struggling, flailing, arguing, the four foals finally exited the bush…or what was left of it after all the struggling, flailing, and arguing reduced it to a broken heap of vines.

“Ouch!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed as Button clamped his teeth around a thorn in her upper arm and pulled it out. She rubbed the tender spot with a forehoof and gave Button a small smile, “Thanks.”

Button smiled back, “No problem.”

Sweetie Belle suddenly knit her brow and took a long hard look at Button’s face.

“Uh…what’s wrong?” Button asked. “Do I have a thorn on my face or…”

Sweetie Belle suddenly leaned in close to the young colt.

Button’s face flushed red as Sweetie Belle closed the distance between the two to inches, and quickly to nothing as she opened her lips slightly, placed her mouth over a thorn that was right under his nose, and quickly pulled it out.

“OUCH!” he exclaimed.

Sweetie Belle spit the thorn out of her mouth. “Yes,” she answered.

Button stared at Sweetie Belle with wide eyes as he placed his forearm over his mouth.

“Uh Button? Are you okay?” Sweetie Belle asked.

Button said nothing, and only continued to stare. Oh my gosh?! Was that my first kiss? Does that count as my first kiss?!Maybe I should ask mom! But… what if she makes me marry Sweetie Belle?! I’M NOT READY FOR THAT SORT OF COMMITMENT!

Sweetie Belle blinked a few times and waved a forehoof in front of Button. “Button? Helloooo…?”

“Well, that was a bust.” Apple Bloom commented as she raised her forearm to her mouth and clenched her teeth around a thorn.

“Maybe we need to jump from someplace higher!” Scootaloo suggested, likewise pulling thorns from her limbs.

“Scootaloo,” Apple Bloom responded, “Ah don’t think we’re gonna get our cutie marks in base jumpin’!”

“Fine!” Scootaloo said. “We’ll just need to think about something else, then…”

Sweetie Belle shot a concerned look over towards her friends, “I’m not sure we should put Button through any more trauma… he seems… a bit… frazzled.”

“I HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO TANK!” Button Mash declared as he emerged from his stupor.

“… Well that was an unfortunate choice of words…” Sweetie Belle mused.

Scootaloo smiled, “I like him! He’s got guts!”

“His guts are exactly what I’m worried about!” Sweetie Belle said.

“He has taken an awful lot punishment,” Apple Bloom added.

Button Mash suddenly zipped in front of the girls. “I can do this!” he exclaimed, once again raising a forehoof into the air. “As a heroic adventure of Equestria, it is my responsibility to lay it all on the line and face any and all dangers that come my way!” Button lowered himself back down, “Besides, it’s good XP.”

The three crusaders exchanged glances.

“Huddle up, girls!” Apple Bloom said.

Once again, the three fillies circled up, placing forearms over each other’s shoulders.

“I’m not so sure about this, anymore…” Sweetie Belle admitted.

“What?! He’s awesome!” Scootaloo insisted. “He jumped into a thorn-berry bush from a roof and is ready for more! We’ll have our cutie marks in no time with Button as our point man!”

“Scootaloo has a point,” Apple Bloom said. “He sure is enthusiastic about helpin’ us.”

“Besides,” Scootaloo said as she glanced at Sweetie Belle, “you were the one who said we shouldn’t leave him alone! Look how happy he is just to be included!”

The three fillies quickly looked over to Button who had reapplied his eager, goofy grin despite his now disheveled and berry juice covered look.

The three turned to face each other once more.

“Oh, alright…” Sweetie Belle sighed out.

The crusaders broke their huddle and turned to Button Mash.

“The quest continues!” Scootaloo declared.

“Yay!” Button cried, once again standing on his back legs and waving his forelegs about victoriously.

Button lowered himself to the ground, “Button Mash, Colt of Action, is ready for round two!” Button smiled and rolled his eyes, “Besides, it’s not like it can get any worse than being stuck in a thorn-berry bush.”

The three fillies plastered on giant, fake smiles and gulped.

Chapter 5: CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS TRAUMATIZERS, YAY!

The SweetieMash ChroniclesChapter 5: CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS TRAUMATIZERS, YAY!-oooooooo-

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS BUNGEE JUMPERS, YAY!”

Once again, Button Mash found himself in the unenviable position of being some place high while something was strapped to him. The idea being that he would jump and whatever was supposed to keep him from getting maimed or killed would do its job. Judging by how jagged and pointy the rocks below the bridge were, the later seemed the most likely if things didn’t pan out.

Button, still a bit of a disheveled mess, looked over the side of the bridge pensively and gulped.

Sweetie Belle, also still something of a mess, poked her head over the side and scrutinized the unforgiving landscape below.

“Girls,” Sweetie Belle said as she looked back at Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, “this looks even more suicidal than the last thing we tried.”

“She’s gotta point,” Apple Bloom added, “and so do all those nasty lookin’ rocks beneath us.”

“Guys look, it’s totally fine!” Scootaloo insisted. She motioned to a large rock that had one of the bungee cords tied around it. “Here, this rock can be point man from now on.”

Sweetie Belle’s and Apple Bloom’s expressions relaxed.

“Sounds good,” Apple Bloom said.

“Works for me,” Sweetie Belle said.

“No way!”

The trio of fillies turned to Button Mash who angrily glared at the rock.

“No way am I getting swapped out for a rock.” Button Mash in insisted.

“But Button,” Sweetie Belle protested, “it might not be safe.”

“Scootaloo thinks it’s safe,” Button said as he turned to Scootaloo. “Don’t you Scootaloo?”

Scootaloo shrugged. “You jump, the cord catches you, and it brings you back up,” she stated simply.

Button nodded, “Good enough for Button Mash, Colt of Action!”

“That’s pretty much tha same thing ya said about the parachutes!” Apple Bloom reminded.

Sweetie Belle turned to Button Mash, “Button, you probably should stop trusting everything Scoot…NO WAIT!”

Button jumped.

“GERONIMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!”

“BUTTON MASH!” Sweetie Belle shrieked after the young colt. She glanced at his bungee cord and said a quick prayer to Celestia that it would hold.

“WHY ARE THOSE ROCKS SO TERRIFYING LOOKING!?”

Scootaloo cocked an eye at Sweetie Belle, “What’s got you so worried?”

Sweetie Belle turned to Scootaloo with narrowed, serious looking green eyes. “A: I don’t want him to die. B: I don’t want us to die!”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged a quick, confused glances.

“Why would we die?” Scootaloo asked.

“Do you have any idea what Button’s Mom will do to us if something happens to him?!” Sweetie Belle asked.

Apple Bloom’s and Scootaloo’s eyes suddenly shot open. They quickly poked their heads over the side and also made quiet prayers for the colt’s safety.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH.”

‘SPROOONG!’

“… HHHHEY!” Button Mash said. “The rocks are going away now… hehehe… this isn’t so bad… I’m flying! WHEEEEEE! This is awesome!”

The trio of fillies breathed a collective sigh of relief.

“See,” Scootaloo said, motioning out towards Button with a forehoof, “nothin’ to worry about.”

“… THEY’RE COMING BACK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH…”

Sweetie Belle glanced over the edge again. “I don’t know…he seems awfully freaked out…”

“Well, seemed like he was havin’ fun jus’ a few moments ago…” Apple Bloom mused.

Scootaloo peeked her head out over the bridge, “Give it a few seconds…”

‘SPROOONG!’

“... HHHHHHHEY! They’re leaving again! See you later, crud rocks! Oh man, this is the best… feeling… EVER!”

“There you go,” Scootaloo said with a wide grin as she motioned to the yo-yoing brown colt.

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! THEY’RE GETTING CLOSER AGAIN! THIS IS THE WORST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME!”

“Maybe we should pull him back up…” Sweetie Belle said with concern.

“He is screamin’ an awful lot,” Apple Bloom said in agreement.

“It’s bungee jumping,” Scootaloo said, “it’s supposed to have lots of shouting.”

‘SPROOONG!’

“NO, WAIT! THEY’RE GOING AWAY AGAIN! THIS IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME!”

“Are you suuuure?” Sweetie Belle said as she raised an eyebrow.

“I jus’ imagined there’d be more excited screamin’ and less terrified screamin’…” Apple Bloom said.

“…AHHHHHHH! WORST THING! WORST THING! WORST THING!”

“Seriously though,” Sweetie Belle said, “how long are we going to let this go on?”

Scootaloo shrugged, “He’s gotta stop at some point…”

-ooo-

“Ah can’t believe he kept going for over 20 minutes!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, “I may not know a lot about bungee jumpin’, but that doesn’t seem physically possible!”

“Pinkie Pie said these were the best bungee cords she had,” Scootaloo said.

Sweetie Belle looked at her two friends then turned towards the shaking colt next to her. “Are you okay, Button Mash?”

Button Mash continued to tremble uncontrollably, staring out into space with eyes opened wide and pupils the size of pinpoints.

“I have stared into the terrible face of death…” Button murmured, “… yet live to speak about it.”

Sweetie Belle turned back to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. “I’m not sure jumping is such a great idea, girls…”

“…But was it mercy that stayed death’s hand, or am I merely a reminder to other ponies that all will eventually find themselves in death’s cold embrace?”

“I mean,” Sweetie Belle continued as she raised an eyebrow at Button Mash, “he’s saying some pretty weird stuff.”

“It’s Button Mash,” Scootaloo reminded. “How can you tell?”

“Well…” Sweetie Belle thought about this. “The things he says usually aren’t so…dark…”

“Hello Darkness my old friend…” Button Mash began to sing, still staring out into open space.

“And he usually doesn’t start singing folk songs…” Sweetie Belle added.

“…I’ve come to talk with you again…”

“Yeah…he’s creepin’ me out…” Apple Bloom admitted.

“He’s FINE!” Scootaloo insisted. “There’s not a scratch on him!” she argued, motioning out to the colt with both her forehooves. “You think it’s safe to jump, don’t you Button Mash?” she asked as she turned to face Button.

Button Mash forced a tortured smile onto his trembling face, his lips quivering and fighting for every millimeter of movement.

“See!” Scootaloo said, pointing to Button with a forehoof. “He’s smiling.”

“That dosen’t look like happy smiling, to me…” Sweetie Belle mused.

“Me neither…” Apple Bloom agreed.

“Do you two want bungee jumping cutie marks, or not?” Scootaloo asked.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle looked at each other and then back to Scootaloo.

“Do we haffta jump over scary, sharp, jagged rocks?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Well, I figured this way there’s a good chance we could get daredevil cutie marks out of all of this.” Scootaloo replied.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged glances once more.

“…”

“Great idea, Scootaloo!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.

“Yeah! We’re sure to get our cutie marks in something this way!” Sweetie Belle added.

“…Within the sound of silence…”

The trio of fillies looked over the side and gulped.

“Are we sure we wanna do this?” Apple Bloom asked.

“No guts, no glory,” Scootaloo replied.

“What is it with you and guts?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Look, let’s just all jump on the count of three,” Scootaloo said. “One…two…two and a half…two and three quarters…”

“GET ON WITH IT!” Sweetie Belle shrieked.

“…THREE!”

The three fillies jumped.

“AaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!”

After about 20 minutes of frantic screaming followed by manic declarations, the four cutie markless foals found themselves looking for a new activity.

“So…many…rocks…” Scootaloo uttered as she walked along and trembled uncontrollably.

“It was…it was like each one was made to inflict a new form of pain never thought of before!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, also walking and trembling.

“…In restless dreams I walked alone…” Button murmured softly.

“Stop it,” Sweetie Belle commanded the brown colt.

Button Mash paused and shook his head as if to clear it, “Stop what?” he asked, turning to look at Sweetie Belle.

“Uhg… never mind…” Sweetie Belle grumbled.

Scootaloo paused. “Hey! I have an idea!” she declared.

“We’re not jumping off of anything!” Sweetie Belle said.

“…I have no ideas!” Scootaloo corrected.

“There’s gotta be somethin’ we can do that doesn’t require us to maybe leap to our deaths!” Apple Bloom moaned.

The three fillies paused and gave this some thought.

-ooooooo-

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS BEEKEEPERS, YAY!”

“Alright! So what do I do?!” Button asked excitedly as he looked over at the boxes full of bee hives.

“Jus’ go up there and ask the bees if you can have some honey!” Apple Bloom said.

Sweetie Belle cocked an eyebrow, “You really think that’ll work?”

“Sure! Granny Smith does it all the time! And she never gets stung or nothin’!”

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle paused and stared at the yellow pony.

“Apple Bloom,” Scootaloo began, “Your grandma has been doing this for years, do you really think Button Mash is just gonna be able to waltz up there and the bees will fork over their honey?”

“It’s okay!” Button Mash said. “I trust her!”

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo exchanged a quick, concerned glance.

Sweetie Belle walked up to Button Mash and put a forearm around his neck. “Could you excuse us a moment?” she asked the other Crusaders.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo nodded.

Sweetie Belle walked the brown colt over a ways away from her friends. “You should really stop trusting everything we say…”

Button’s eyes widened slightly, “Even you?”

“Especially me!” Sweetie Belle said. “My ideas are the worse…just… just terrible…” Sweetie Belle paused and stared off into space. “I still have nightmares about when we tried to get our cutie marks in dentistry…” she said shuddering slightly.

“But…” Buttons began to tear up slightly and his lips quivered, “…you’re my best friend!”

Sweetie Belle’s eyes widened slightly and she pursed her lips. “Awwwwwww!” she exclaimed. She shook her head, “Wait…but…okay…that doesn’t mean you should just blindly do anything I say… or my friends… especially my friends! And especially not me!”

“But… I wanna help!” Button protested.

“Sure, but you don’t need to put yourself in harm’s way all the time!”

“But it’s my duty as valiant adventurer Button Mash to face any and all troubles for the good of the group!”

“Uh… even if we’re the ones causing the trouble?” Sweetie Belle asked.

Button nodded. “Especially if you’re the ones causing the trouble!”

“Button… you really don’t have to do this…” Sweetie Belle said meekly.

Button Mash paused and placed his forehooves on Sweetie Belle’s shoulders. He locked his big, amber eyes with Sweetie Belle’s emerald ones, “I wanna keep you safe.”

Sweetie Belle’s eyes widened and teared up slightly and she let out a soft whimper. “Alright Button,” she said with a smile and a nod, placing a forehoof over one of Button’s, “you can keep being our point man if that’s what you want.”

“Yay!” Button Mash cried as he stood on his hind legs and waved his forehooves about.

Sweetie Belle smiled and trotted back to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, “Good news everypony! He’s going to talk to the bees!”

“We’ll ain’t that the bee’s knees!” Apple Bloom replied cheerfully.

“Nice! You tricked him into it,” Scootaloo said.

Sweetie Belle frowned, “I didn’t trick him! He wanted to do it!”

“You used your feminine wiles on him didn’t you?” Scootaloo asked.

Sweetie Belle paused, “Wait… actually I think he used his masculine wiles on me…”

“Do guys even have wiles?” Apple Bloom asked.

Scootaloo shrugged, “Beats me, I’m not even sure what feminine wiles are to tell the truth…”

“Ready or not bees! Here I come!” Button cried as he galloped up to the white boxes full of buzzing bees.

“Go, Button Mash!” Sweetie Belle cheered out excitedly.

“Yeah! Go get that honey!” Scootaloo shouted out.

“You talk to those bees!” Apple Bloom added.

Button Mash suddenly stopped in front of the boxed bee hives and sat on his hooves. “Can I have some honey?” he asked.

Hundreds of angry, buzzing bees suddenly emerged, collecting into a menacing looking cloud that droned with the sounds of danger and pain.

Button’s eyes widened as the corner of his lips fell as if they anchors suddenly dropped from the sides of his mouth. “Oh-no…OUCH! OW! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Button Mash screamed in a panic as he attempted to run from the angry mass of stinging bees that followed him around.

Sweetie Belle’s soaring smile quickly caught fire and crashed to the ground, changing into a giant frown as she watched the brown colt flail about. “I’M THE WORST BEST FRIEND EVER!” she cried as her eyes began to fill with tears. She threw herself to the ground and began wailing “WHUOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

“Don’t cry Sweetie Belle,” Apple Bloom said. “You tried to warn him…”

Sweetie Belle paused, and tried to stop her bawling, “Sniff…”

“Yeah, and then she encouraged him!” Scootaloo reminded.

Sweetie Belle immediately returned to being a heap of tears, “WHUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHUAAAAAAAHUAAAAAHUAAAAAAAAA!”

“Scootaloo!” Apple Bloom chastised.

“What! She did!” Scootaloo insisted, motioning out to Sweetie Belle with both hooves.

“THE BEES! THEY STING! IT HURTS AND IT STINGS! THEY WON’T STOP! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHH!” Button cried as he continued to run about back and forth.

“What are you all doing out here?!” A light brown stallion in a white beekeeper’s suit demanded. He had a beehive with a couple of bees buzzing around it painted on the flanks of his suit.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom winced. Sweetie Belle continued to sob.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom turned to face the beekeeper.

“Sorry sir, we were just tryin’ to get our cutie marks in beekeepin’.” Apple Bloom explained.

The stallion’s expression softened, “Oh! Well why didn’t you say so? First thing to know about bees is they hate the color brown, it reminds them of bears.”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged quick grins.

“Didja hear that?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Yeah! They’re only stinging the heck out of Button Mash because he’s brown!” Scootaloo replied. She nudged her crying friend, “Come on Sweetie Belle! We’ve got honey to gather!”

“Sniff… Oh… okay…” Sweetie Belle said weakly.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo helped Sweetie Belle to her hooves and the three bolted for the hives.

“WAIT! I HAVEN’T TOLD YOU THE SECOND THING TO KNOW ABOUT BEES!” The beekeeper shouted out.

“OUCH!”

“OWIE!”

“OW!”

“…Always wear a beekeeper’s suit around them…”

“AHHHH! THEY’RE IN MY MANE! THEY’RE IN MY MANE!” Sweetie Belle cried.

“WHY ARE THEY ONLY STINGING MY WINGS?!” Scootaloo screamed.

“I’M SORRY MR. BEES! WE DIDN’T MEAN ANY…OUCH! OUCH!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.

“DON’T APOLOGIZE!” Button Mash shouted, “THEY STING HARDER IF YOU SAY ‘SORRY!’…OWCH! WHY’D I SAY IT?! WHY’D I SAY IT?!”

The beekeeper sighed, “I’ll get the garden hose…”

-ooo-

Sopping wet and covered in bumpy, swollen welts, and the occasional berry juice stain, the four foals trudged down the Ponyville path as Celestia continued to move the sun lower in the sky.

“Now what?” Apple Bloom asked.

Scootaloo took a quick glance at the sun, “We still got some daylight left… do we have any other ideas?

“We can see if Sweetie Belle has any ideas…” Apple Bloom suggested.

“Are we really that desperate?” Scootaloo asked.

“We’re pretty desperate…” Apple Bloom admitted.

“OUCH!” Button exclaimed as Sweetie Belle clamped her teeth around a stinger on his side and pulled it out. Button scratched at the area with a back hoof. “Thanks, Sweetie Belle.”

Sweetie Belle spit out the stinger and stuck out her tongue with a, “Bleh…Yeah, no problem…Hey Button?”

“Yeah, Sweetie Belle?”

“I’m really sorry you got stung…” Sweetie Belle said sheepishly.

“Oh, that’s alright, Sweetie Belle… I’m just sorry you got hurt… Some point man I turned out to be…”

Sweetie Belle stopped dead in her tracks as her eyes opened wide and she let out a squeaky whimper. He’s not real… He can’t possiblybe this nice to me still after everything I put him through…

Button Mash paused and stared at Sweetie Belle’s face, “Hey Sweetie Belle?”

“Wa… what?” Sweetie Belle stammered out, her face beginning to flush red. She let out a tiny squeak as Button Mash leaned his face forward, opened his lips, and clamped his teeth around something in between her chin and lower lip.

Button pulled his face back. “Pttu…” he spit out a stinger, and stuck out his tongue, “Glck…sorry…stinger on your face.”

Sweetie Belle’s eyes became glazed and unfocused. Oh my gosh! Did Button just kiss me?! Was that my first kiss?! What do I do?! WHAT DO I DO?! Quick, what would Rarity do?!

“Uh, Sweetie Belle?” Button called out.

Wait… Rarity would probably spend hoursin the bathroom getting ready for a date, Sweetie Belle thought as she began to knit her brow together. Ulg… Hours and hoursspent trying to get her hair ‘just perfect’ and then even more hours of picking out the perfect outfit!

“Equestria to Sweetie Belle…” Button said, waving a forehoof in front of the near catatonic unicorn. “Helloooo…?”

“Great! Button used his masculine wiles on Sweetie Belle again, an’ broke her!” Apple Bloom said.

“What?!” Button Mash protested. “No I didn’t! I don’t even know what that means!”

Sweetie Belle simply continued to stare off into space, pulling a variety of faces.

“Oh, man!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “I bet he kissed her! Who knows when she’ll snap out of it?”

“I didn’t kiss her!” Button insisted. “I just pulled a stinger off her face…”

“Yeah, with your mouth, I bet.” Scootaloo replied.

Button’s face flushed crimson.

Scootaloo chuckled, “Look at his face! He totally did!”

Apple Bloom giggled.

“No… but…” Button began to protests.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked at each other, grinned, and nodded.

“Sweetie Belle and Button Mash, Sitting in a tree…”

“But…!” Button protested.

“K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”

“No, I just…” Button began to tear up.

“First comes love, then comes marriage.”

“Sniff… eh… heee… woua…”

“Then comes the foal in the…”

“Auunhwuahwuahwuaaaa!”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo paused as Button started wailing.

Sweetie Belle suddenly snapped to, focusing her eyes on the situation in front of her.

“Hey, Sorry Button Mash…” Scootaloo offered.

Apple Bloom nodded, “Yeah, we didn’t mean noth…”

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Sweetie Belle shrieked as she dashed over and positioned herself in-between the two fillies and Button Mash. She glared out angrily at her friends as she breathed in and out deeply.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo flashed each other concerned looks then looked back at Sweetie Belle.

“We didn’t mean to hurt his feelings!” Apple Bloom insisted. “Honest!”

“Yeah, we were just teasing him a little…” Scootaloo said. “We said we were sorry…”

Sweetie Belle paused. Well… Button cries more than any pony I know… even my sister…

“Sniff… It’s okay Sweetie Belle… I forgive them…” Button said as he wiped tears from his eyes.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo breathed a collective sigh of relief.

“Really?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Just like that?”

Button Mash nodded, “Sure, I mean…that’s what friends do, right? They forgive each other when they know their friends didn’t mean to hurt them.”

Sweetie Belle’s eye’s widened and her lip quivered slightly as she silently looked at Apple Bloom and Scootaloo and simply motioned out to Button Mash with her forehooves.

Apple Bloom grinned wide, “That’s right, Button. That’s exactly what friends do.”

Scootaloo matched her friends grin, “You’re the best point man ever… even if you’re not exactly a man…”

Button beamed, “Really?!” He suddenly frowned once more, “But you guys still got hurt even after I went first all those times.”

“Well…we really want our cutie marks bad...” Scootaloo said.

“And sometimes we don’t always think things through…” Apple Bloom admitted.

“Sometimes?” Sweetie Belle asked, cocking an eye open.

“It’s okay, girls! I’m having a lot of fun!” Button said.

The three fillies looked at each other in surprise and then turned back to Button. “Really?” they asked in unison.

“Yeah!” Button said, “I’ve never gotten to just hang out with other foals my age before.”

Sweetie Belle whimpered slightly and once again motioned out to Button Mash with her forehooves.

“Ah think it’s time for a Cutie Mark Crusaders group hug!” Apple Bloom declared.

“I second the motion!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

“Thirded!” Sweetie Belle added.

Button Mash grinned wide as the three fillies trotted up to him. “Hurray! Acceptance!” he exclaimed.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS GROUP HUG, YA-OW!”

“GAH! ACCEPTANCE HURTS!” Button cried.

As quickly as they came together, the four parted and began rubbing their injured and stung bodies.

“Maybe we should save the group hug until after we’re all healed up…” Sweetie Belle suggested.

“Good idea…” Apple Bloom agreed.

“So, what’s next?” Button asked.

“Actually, we were going to ask if Sweetie Belle had any ideas.” Scootaloo said.

“ME?” Sweetie Belle said in a worried tone.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo put on grim expressions and nodded.

“Hurray, Sweetie Belle!” Button said.

Sweetie Belle gulped, “Well…I do have this one idea…”

-ooooooo-

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS SEWER INSPECTORS, YAY!”

The three fillies quickly went to work, lodging a metal hook into a hole in a ponyhole cover and leveraging an attached metal bar. Button Mash quickly rushed over to help and the four foals grunted and strained against the bar. Soon, they successfully lifted the ponyhole and used their lifter to position it off to the side of the hole.

‘CLANK!’

“Pee-eww!”Sweetie Belle exclaimed placing a forehoof over her noose.

“Ulg…” Button uttered, “what an incredible smell we’ve discovered.”

“That smells worse than the inside of Big McIntosh’s work collar after a day in the orchard.” Apple Bloom commented.

Scootaloo’s eye twitched. “Thanks Apple Bloom, I was running out of things to think about while I scream myself to sleep every night…”

“Alright gang,” Sweetie Belle said, “apply clothespins.” Sweetie Belle’s horn glowed green as four clothespins hovered out of her white saddlebag and floated over to her friends.

The four foals carefully clipped their noses shut.

“Okay Crusaders,” Sweetie Belle said enthusiastically, the clothespin adding a nasal inflection to her tone, “let’s…” Sweetie Belle paused as a brown arm was held in front of her.

Sweetie Belle stared wide eyed at Button. “You can’t be serious…”

“Fear not, team! Button Mash, Colt of Action will scout out this dungeon!” Button replied, his voice also a touch nasally.

The three fillies quickly looked at each other with worried expressions mirrored across their faces.

“Button, you don’t need to do that!” Sweetie Belle insisted.

Apple Bloom nodded, “Yeah, you’ve done plenty already…”

“Seriously dude,” Scootaloo said, “you’ve done a lot as it is. We’re not going to ask you to go down there…”

“But…what if it’s dangerous down there?” Button reasoned.

“All the more reason you should stay up here!” Apple Bloom replied.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo nodded in agreement.

Button Mash shook his head. “No way! I was brought onto this mission as point man, and I’m going to finish it as point man!”

“Button,” Sweetie Belle began, “you really don’t…”

“Shhhh…” Button placed a forehoof up to Sweetie Belle’s lips. “Fear not, fair maiden. For as long as there are perils that you may walk into, I, Button Mash, will rush headlong to face them and keep you safe.”

Sweetie Belle’s eyes widened and her face flushed red as she merely nodded.

Button smiled. “For Pondor!” he cried, rushing towards the open hole.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo glanced over to Sweetie Belle.

“Did he jus’ call you ‘fair maiden’?” Apple Bloom asked.

Sweetie Belle nodded.

“I think somepony has a cruuuuush~!” Scootaloo sang out.

“I DO NOT!” Sweetie Belle shrieked.

Scootaloo scrunched up her brow, “I was talking about Button Mash.”

“…Oh …” Sweetie Belle replied, her face turning a luminescent shade of red.

‘Clang, Clang…’

The three fillies paused, listening as Button Mash slowly descended the ladder into the unknown darkness below.

“WHOA!”

‘Splash!’

The three fillies cringed.

“OH GOSH! I LOST MY CLOTHESPIN! THE SMELL! IT’S ALL SLIMY AND IT SMELLS! I…BLECH…cough…cough…IT’S IN MY MOUTH! IT’S IN MY MOUTH! I THINK…I THINK I KNOW WHAT SADNESS TASTES LIKE NOW!”

Sweetie Belle’s ears flopped down around the side of her head as she slowly lowered herself to the ground in a legs splayed, depressed heap.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo rushed over to the open ponyhole.

“Button? Are ya alright…?” Apple Bloom asked tentatively.

“Uh… I think I’ll need to eat a whole roll of breath mints after this, but I’ll live…” Button replied, “… I hope…”

“How’s the sewer look?” Scootaloo asked.

“I don’t know!” Button shouted back. “It’s pitch black down here…I think…I think I’m likely to be eaten by a grue…” Button added with a touch of concern in his voice.

“Oh, right…” Scootaloo turned to her white unicorn friend, “Sweetie Belle?”

Sweetie Belle sighed as her horn glowed green once more, a flashlight emerged from her saddlebag and floated over to Scootaloo.

Scootaloo grabbed the flashlight out of the air and peered into blackness once more.

“Here Button Mash, catch!” Scootaloo called out as she dropped the Flashlight.

‘Bonk.’

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo winced slightly.

“OUCH! Got it…let me just…”

‘Click’

“AAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Sweetie Belle suddenly shot to her feet and rushed over to the hole. “We have to help him!” she cried.

Scootaloo sighed, “I was afraid you were going to say that…”

“He’d do the same for any of us!” Sweetie Belle insisted.

“She’s got us there,” Apple Bloom said, motioning out to Sweetie Belle.

“NOW I KNOW WHAT SADNESS LOOKS LIKE!” Button screamed.

“HOLD ON BUTTON!” Sweetie Belle shrieked into the hole. “We’re coming!” she wasted no time lowering herself, back legs first, into the hole and climbing down the ladder.

‘Clang, Clang…’

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom followed.

‘Clang, Clang…’

“Whoops…” Apple Bloom uttered as her hoof slipped on a ladder rung. She slid.

“Ooof…” Scootaloo grunted as the Apple Bloom fell into her. She, likewise, lost her footing.

“EEK!” Sweetie Belle cried as her two friends crashed into her.

‘Splash!’

“AAAAAAAAH! NOW THE SEWER IS TRYING TO DROWN ME!” Button Mash shouted as he surfaced from the murky depths of the watery sewer.

“Wait! Button! It’s just us!” Sweetie Belle assured.

“Oh…Hi, Sweetie Belle…”

“BLECH!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, “It does taste like sadness…”

“ELCH!” Scootaloo cried. “I CAN’T GET THE TASTE OUT OF MY MOUTH!”

“Uhhh…anypony seen the flashlight?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Erm… I think I dropped it,” Button said sheepishly.

“Wait… I think I got it…” Scootaloo said as she lifted her forehooves out of the dregs. “Huh…kinda squishy for a flashlight…AAAHHH!” Scootaloo suddenly screamed and dropped the item in her hooves.

“Well, we can’t inspect the sewer without some sort of light source…” Apple Bloom said.

“Should I dive down and look for the flashlight?” Button asked.

“NO!” replied the three fillies.

“’Kay…”

“Wait…” Sweetie Belle said, “I bet I could use my magic to…” A green light emitted from Sweetie Belle’s horn, slowly growing brighter and brighter. “There, that should…”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

The four foals erupted into a chorus of terrified screaming, panicked crying, frantic shrieking, and horrified yelling.

-ooooooo-

“” Button uttered out in a low, guttural language as he stared off into the distance. He sat in a makeshift bath tub made out of half a wooden barrel. The foamy water slushed around him as Sweetie Belle ran a scrub brush back and forth over the almost catatonic colt’s hair.

Sweetie Belle merely pursed her lips together and stared at Button with large, concerned eyes.

“Welp, we broke Button…” Scootaloo said, motioning out to the colt.

“He’s not broken!” Sweetie Belle insisted shrilly, “He’s just… uh…”

“Traumatized?” Scootaloo suggested.

Sweetie Belle sighed, “Yeah…”

Apple Bloom shook herself vigorously, spraying the area around her with water. “Poor guy! This was easily one of our top ten worst crusadin’ days we’ve had this month!” She paused and thought for a second, “Hey, maybe we can talk him out of it!” she suggested.

“Yeah, we can like…psycho-analyze him, or something…” Scootaloo suggested.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked at each other and grinned, “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS PSYCHOANALYSERS, YAY!”

Button Mash slowly lowered himself in his bath until he was completely submerged in water.

Sweetie Belle watched the colt with concerned, then looked up at her two friends. “I think Button has had enough crusading for one day…” she said.

“Well, can’t really blame him there…”Apple Bloom said.

Sweetie Belle sighed, “I just wish we did at least one thing that was fun and didn’t end in either pain or horrible mental suffering…”

“Uh, Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo said.

“Yeah, Scootaloo?”

“How long can Button hold his breath for?”

“How would…” Sweetie Belle turned back to the barrel as concerned eyes opened wide and stared into the soapy water. She leaned forward and thrust her forearms into the water, then fished out the brown colt.

Button coughed and sputtered.

“Uh… hey… Button Mash…” Sweetie Belle said tentatively.

“Cough…cough… Yeah, Sweetie Belle?”

“I’m really sorry about pretty much everything that’s happened to you today…”

“Oh, that’s alright Sweetie Belle, I had fun.” Button replied.

“Really?” Sweetie Belle the slightest hints of hope entering into her voice.

“…No.” Button admitted.

Sweetie Belle whimpered quietly in reply.

“Uh… “ Button Mash looked up at the sky. The sun touched the horizon as Celestia slowly put away the heavenly body for the night. “…Hey, I better get going, my mom will start to worry if I’m out too late.”

Sweetie Belle nodded, “Sure, Button…”

Button hopped out of the barrel and shook himself, water flew in all directions off his hair, mane, and tail. He turned towards a tree, his beanie and saddlebags were leaned neatly against it.

Sweetie Belle followed Button with her eyes, a melancholy expression plastered on her face.

“Ah, man… we are the worst friends ever…” Scootaloo uttered.

“I jus’ wish there was something we could do!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.

Sweetie Belle’s eyes suddenly shot open. “I have an idea!” she cried.

“Uh-oh…” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo said in unison.

Sweetie Belle quickly scanned the orchard and spotted a tree with a large, natural hole in the center of its trunk. She sprinted for it, thrust a forehoof into the hole, and began rummaging her hoof around in it.

“Come on…come on…YES!” Sweetie Belle cried triumphantly as she fished a pink ball with a blue stripe going around it. She turned towards the brown colt. “Hey, Button!” she called out.

Button paused as he reached the tree and turned towards Sweetie Belle.

“Catch!” Sweetie Belle said as she tossed the rubber ball at Button.

Button instinctively reached out his forehooves and caught the ball in his arms. He looked down at it, then looked back up at Sweetie Belle and smiled. “Go long!” he cried as he raised the ball in a forehoof.

Sweetie Belle giggled and began putting more distance between herself and the colt.

Button Mash tossed the ball at Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle paused, then dove to her side, catching the ball before she hit the ground and slid.

“Nice one!” Button shouted out.

Sweetie Belle raised to her hooves and giggled to herself as she held the ball under one of her forehooves.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo quickly grinned at each other.

“Throw it to me! Throw it to me!” Scootaloo cried excitedly.

Sweetie Belle turned to the orange pegasus and sent the ball sailing Scootaloo-ward.

Scootaloo leaped into the air, rapidly flapping her wings as she caught the ball and landed back on her hooves.

“Scootaloo! Over here!” Apple Bloom called out, having ran a bit from her former position.

Scootaloo grinned and tossed the ball over to the yellow pony.

Apple Bloom stood up on her back legs and caught the ball in her arms.

“Me next! Me next!” Button Mash said excitedly.

Apple Bloom threw the ball to the brown colt.

The four foals continued to throw the ball back and forth between them. They caught it sometimes, missed it others, but smiled and laughed the entire time.

-ooooooo-

Love Tap stared outside the kitchen window and pursed her lips as hints of concern began to slowly creep into her features. Celestia had lowered the sun out of view and her sister had begun to raise the moon.

Oh, he knows I don’t like when he’s out this late… Don’t tell me he’s still playing that Joy Boy of his… Love Tap thought. Maybe I should go out and look for him, it’s starting to get really dark out and…

“MoOoOoOoOoOM! I’m home!”

Love Tap breathed a sigh of relief and trotted out into the hall. “Button, you shouldn’t stay out so late, you had me-OH MY GOSH BUTTON! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!”

Love Tap looked her son up and down. His skin was puffy and swollen, there were purple patches of some sort of stain spread across his hair, his mane was a mess, and on top of everything else, he had mud and dust smeared all over him.

“Oh,” Button replied with a smile, “well, first I met up with Sweetie Belle and her friends and then we went base jumping…”

--Love Tap’s eyes shot open wide as she knitted her brow together--

“…and then we all ended up in a thorn-berry bush. So, because that didn’t work, we went bungee jumping…”

--One of Love Tap’s eyes began to twitch--

“… but that turned out to be ridiculously terrifying, so we tried beekeeping instead…”

--Love Tap gritted her teeth--

“…but we got stung like…a million times and had to try something else, so then Sweetie Belle suggested we go sewer inspecting…”

--Love Tap’s face flushed red as her lips twisted and contorted her mouth into a rageful grimace--

“… and then we all needed a bath after that, and I was gonna come home, but then Sweetie Belle started playing catch with me and then we were all playing catch, but it was getting dark and Sweetie Belle insisted she walk me home.”

Button stepped aside revealing a petrified Sweetie Belle who stared up at Love Tap with wide, scared eyes, the unicorns pupils the size of pinpricks.

Love Tap looked Sweetie Belle up and down. The white unicorn sported the same bumps, stains, and messy appearance of her son.

Sweetie Belle gulped as she gazed into Love Tap’s angry eyes. That’s it, I’m dead… She thought to herself. There’s no way Button’s Mom is going to let me go after hearing all that… and I never even got my cutie mark…

Love Tap paused, taking note of Sweetie Belle’s absolutely terrified expression.

“Heh…pffft…heheheheHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!” Love Tap erupted into a fit of laughter.

Oh no! Sweetie Belle thought to herself. She’s already thinking what she’s going to do to me and laughing maniacally.

“What’s so funny, mom?” Button Mash asked

“Hehehehehe…” Love Tap slowly gained control over her laughter, “…Sorry, I just remembered all the trouble I’d used to get your father in when I was the same age as you two…hehehe…” She turned to Sweetie Belle, “Come in Sweetie Belle, it’s okay… I won’t bite.” The tan mare said with a grin.

Sweetie Belle breathed a sigh of relief and walked into the house. “You really got Button Mash’s dad in trouble when you were my age?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Oh, all the time!” Love Tap said rolling her eyes. “Though…I think I spaced things out a bit more than you…” she admitted.

Sweetie Belle blushed and grinned sheepishly.

“Why don’t you two go up and play some video games?” Love Tap suggested. “I’ll quickly go out tell your sister you’re staying for dinner. Besides, she’ll have a conniption if she sees you like that.”

Sweetie Belle smiled. “Thank you!”

“Yay!” Button Mash cried. “Come on Sweetie Belle! I still have lots and lots of video games to show you.”

The two foals immediately galloped for the stairs, excitedly rushing towards Button’s bedroom.

Love Tap shook her head and giggled to herself, as she watched her son and his best friend disappear into the house.

-ooooo-

“No, Sweetie Belle… watch out for the saws, the saws…”

The display’s speakers erupted into a number of low, menacing tones.

‘Doom, doom, doom, doom…’

“Awww…I died again…” Sweetie Belle moaned.

“Oh, that’s okay…” Button said with a smile. “I’m still having fun.”

“Really?” Sweetie Belle asked hopefully.

Button Mash nodded, “Yep!”

“Good,” Sweetie Belle said, “I’m having fun, too…uh hey, Button Mash?”

“Yeah, Sweetie Belle?”

Sweetie Belle nervously looked around the room. Her cheeks flushed crimson as she leaned in close to the brown colt. She pursed her lips and placed a small peck on Button’s cheek. “Thanks for trying to protect me…”

Button’s eyes shot open wide before rolling back into his head. “Uwhawawawa…” he uttered as he collapsed backwards, staring up at the ceiling with a distant, glazed expression.

“Button?!” Sweetie Belle cried as she frantically nudged the colt. “Should I not have done that?!

Oblivious to the world around him, Button simply continued to stare up at the ceiling. His lips began to retreat to the sides of his mouth and pull up in a big, wide smile. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if mom makes me marry Sweetie Belle…

“Button!” Sweetie Belle continued to call out in a panicked tone. “What did I do?! WHAT DID I DO?!”

Jump to top

Chapter 6: Seeing Red

The SweetieMash ChroniclesChapter 6: Seeing Red

Once again, Button Mash exited the red schoolhouse into a bright, warm, Ponyville day. His propeller beanie spun rapidly in the breezeless afternoon. He trotted down the familiar steps, his saddlebags jumping up and down slightly as he ascended unto the worn path leading from the school.

“Gee, it sure is boring around here,” he announced as he stretched his arms to the sky and rolled his eyes. He returned to standing on all fours and looked about as if expecting a response.

“Hey…psst…” Button said, leaning over towards a plump, grey colt with tussled dark brown hair, and a fork and knife cutie mark.

“Uh, yeah?” the colt replied.

“Could you say, ‘My boi, this peace is what all true warriors strive for’?” Button asked.

“Oh… uh… alright… My boy, this peace…”

“No, you need to really pronounce the ‘oi’ in boi,” Button Mash insisted.

“Erm…My boi,” the grey colt began again, “this peace is what…” He paused, “Line?”

“…all true warriors strive for,” Button Mash informed.

“…all true warriors strive for,” the colt finished.

Button gave a smile and a satisfied nod. “I wonder what Sweetie Belle is up to!” he said. Button stood patiently and scanned the horizon.

“…Am I supposed to say something here?” the grey colt asked.

“No, a wizard on a flying carpet is supposed to show up,” Button replied.

“Uh…why would a wizard on a flying carpet show up?”

“Because Sweetie Belle and her minions have seized the island of Horsodai.”

“…Why would Sweetie Belle do that? Does she even have minions?”

Button scrunched his brow together and thought about this, tapping a forehoof against his chin. “Huh…I guess she probably didn’t seize the island of Horsodai. Oh well, guess it’s my heroic duty to go look for her!” Button declared enthusiastically. He turned to the grey colt and nodded, “Thanks, you’ve been a big help.”

“Uh…sure,” the colt replied with a perplexed look as Button happily continued on his way.

Button sauntered down the path, and once again began scanning his surroundings for Sweetie Belle. He grinned wide as he spied the white filly and her two friends chatting enthusiastically with each other next to a house.

A happy grin on his face, the brown colt approached the group. Target Acquired… Stay on target… Stay on target…

“Hey girls, what’s…”

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS MEDICAL WASTE DISPOSERS, YAY!”

Button’s eyes shot open wide. Abort! Abort!

The three fillies raised their forehooves high together and quickly lowered them back to the ground.

“Alright girls,” Scootaloo said, “let’s head out to the hospital and each grab an armful of medical waste.”

“Ya know… this doesn’t exactly sound very hygienic… or safe…” Apple Bloom said.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes, “We’ll be wearing rubber socks, d’uh.”

“Oh… right!” Apple Bloom replied, satisfied.

“Hey, did either of you hear Button Mash just now?” Sweetie Belle asked as her ear twitched and she scanned the area.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom exchanged grins and looked back at Sweetie Belle.

“Sweetie Belle, you’ve got that colt on the brain,” Scootaloo said with wide grin.

The white unicorn crinkled her brow at the orange pegasus. “I do not!” she insisted squeakily.

“It’s no big deal,” Apple Bloom said. “Ah mean, we like Button, too…”

“Well, not as much as Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo corrected.

“Well, of course not!” Apple Bloom agreed.

“I don’t like him!” Sweetie Belle insisted.

From around the corner of a building, a set of brown ears perked up, the conversation suddenly rather relevant to the listener’s interest.

“…I mean… ” Sweetie Belle continued, “I do like him, but… I don’t like, like him…”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged glances once more and looked back at Sweetie Belle.

“Come on, you at least, like, like him,” Scootaloo insisted, “whenever we try to do something not Cutie Mark Crusader related you try to see if he can come along.”

“Yeah, and yer always going over to visit and play those video games of his,” Apple Bloom added.

“Well… ” Sweetie Belle trailed off and glanced to her side, “we are really good friends…” she insisted as redness began to seep into her cheeks like drops of red food coloring added to two glasses of milk.

“No, Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo said, “us three, we’re really good friends.”

Apple Bloom nodded her head up in down in agreement.

Scootaloo pointed an orange hoof at the Sweetie Belle, “You and Button Mash are at least a level above that.”

“Now if ya said you didn’t like, like, like him, that’d be a whole ‘nother story.” Apple Bloom said.

Scootaloo turned towards Apple Bloom, “Now that I wouldn’t have questioned.” She returned her attention to Sweetie Belle, “You gotta be more honest with yourself, I mean, it’s pretty obvious Button Mash like, likes you…”

Sweetie Belle stopped pretending there was something interesting to behind and to the left of her and looked back at her friends. “Do you… do you really think so?” she asked, her cheeks now a nearly luminescent shade of red.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo pursed their lips and scrunched their brows slightly.

“Yer serious?” Apple Bloom asked.

Scootaloo sighed, “She’s serious…”

“Sweetie Belle, Button goes out lookin’ fer you almost everyday after school!” Apple Bloom said.

“Yeah, and he invites you over to play games with him on the weekends!” Scootaloo added.

From his hiding spot, Button paused and thought about the fillies words. Wait…That means I like, likeSweetie Belle? Because I like to hang out with her? I mean… okay… I do try to see her everyday and see if mom will let me have her over for dinner…

“Well…I mean…” Sweetie Belle began, “he invites you two, as well…”

“Yeah, if we’re there,” Scootaloo pointed out. “He doesn’t go looking for us!”

Button Mash continued his thinking. …and I guess I really like playing video games with her. But that’s just because she’s getting good and I get this warm, fuzzy feeling whenever I look over at her and see her concentrating as she stares at the screen…and…

Button’s eyes suddenly went wide and his pupils expanded into the newfound space. …oh…

“Uh…erm…” Sweetie Belle searched for something else to say as her brain tried desperately to sort out Buttons potential feelings for her as well as her own for him, “well… his mom likes having me over, and…”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes and sighed, “Alright, have it your way, live in your palace made out of lies. Just remember that lies don’t stack.”

“They don’t?” Sweetie Belle replied.

Scootaloo shook her head. “No, lies are all…misshapen… and like…bulgy and stuff…” she explained as she held her forehooves up and attempted to mime odd shapes using them.

Button Mash continued to sit around the corner from the three fillies, contemplating his newly discovered feelings. I guess… I guess I just go up to her and tell her how I feel? I mean, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom seem to think she like, likesme, and they’re pretty on the ball.

“Wait… so lies are like… round?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“No, they’re more like a bulbousy, oblong shape,” Scootaloo explained.

Button nodded to himself satisfactorily and smiled. Alright, I’m going to walk right up there and tell Sweetie Belle how I feel.

“Uh, girls?” Apple Bloom said. “Ah think we’re losing focus.”

Button Mash turned, and trotted out from around the house.

“You're right,” Scootaloo said, “That medical waste isn’t going to gather itself up.”

The three turned at the sound of soft rustling and looked out into open space near the corner of the house.

Button pushed his saddlebag clad back against the house and held his breath as his nervous eyes peered towards the home’s corner. He began to slowly slide his body away from the three fillies. Alright Button, you can do this, you’re justlike Solid Snake… you know… except he’s part snake.

“Huh, thought Ah heard somethin’…” Apple Bloom muttered.

“I thought I saw something…” Sweetie Belle said. “Something…brown?”

“Oh my GOSH, Sweetie Belle!” Scootaloo exclaimed as she threw her forehooves towards Sweetie Belle. “Just tell Button how you feel after we’re done crusading. I’m sure there’ll be enough time tonight to get in some video games and smooching!”

“I’m not going to smooch Button Mash!” Sweetie Belle shrieked. Redness suddenly returned to her face as she sheepishly stared at the ground, “You know…unless he smooches me first…”

Apple Bloom started giggling, a small rolling laughter that quickly increased in volume.

Scootaloo looked at her white unicorn friend and smirked, “And we just hit like, like, like!”

Having successfully shimmied his body to the other end of the house, Button dropped to all fours and trotted away. I guess I can tell Sweetie Belle how I feel when they’re done crusading… I mean… assuming she doesn’t need to be quarantined or anything like that…

Button paused, and stared out into open space, completely lost in thought. Wait… what if she gets infected with something serious?! What if she turns into a zombie!? Button’s ears flopped down and his eyes began to fill up with tears, “Sniff…”I’m not… I’m not sure I can take out Sweetie Belle! Even if she wasa zombie… Button suddenly held his head up high and stared out resolutely. No! I won’t let that happen! I’ll stop Sweetie Belle from becoming a zombie and keep her safe from any undead that cross our path!

Button turned and broke into a gallop, “Hang on, Sweetie Belle! I’ll save yo-OOF!”

“Eek!”

“OW!”

Button Mash’s attempt at heroics was caught short as the oblivious colt ran headlong into two, young earth ponies. One was pink with wavy-purple hair that had a white stripe through it, the other was dark grey with lighter grey hair tied up in a braid.

“Watch it, geek!” Diamond Tiara hissed as she picked herself off the ground, dusting dirt off her pink fur.

“Uhg, that idiot knocked off my glasses!” Silver Spoon said as she, too, rose to her hooves and dusted herself off.

“Ooops… Sorry,” Button said. He peered out in front of him and noticed a pair of blue framed glasses. He leaned forward and lightly gripped one of the tips with his teeth, stood up, and offered the pair to Silver Spoon.

Silver Spoon shot a glare at the brown colt and snatched the glasses in her forehooves. “Thanks duffus, now they have your spit on them,” she said as she rubbed the tip of her glasses against her forearm.

Button puffed his lower lip out, “I’m really sorry…”

Diamond Tiara adjusted her tiara, lowered her eyelids slightly, and focused her eyes on Button’s beanie, “What the heck is up with that dorky hat?”

Silver Spoon put her glasses on and joined her friend in squinting at the hat, “Yeah… how the heck is that thing spinning?”

Button glanced up at his hat. “Oh this? Yeah, I don’t know how it does that…” he admitted.

“I meant, ‘why is it so lame?’” Diamond Tiara said.

Silver Spoon tittered, “It is pretty goofy looking. I can’t believe anypony would be dumb enough to think that looked good.”

Button’s bottom lip began to quiver.

“Hey! I know this kid,” Diamond Tiara stated, “he’s that weird colt that’s always playing those beeping things and hangs out with the blank flanks.”

“Oh yeah…” Silver Spoon said. She craned her neck and looked at Button’s side, “No wonder, he’s a blank flank, too.”

Button’s eyes began to dart back and forth between the two fillies as his eyes filled with water.

“I’m surprised he’s not with them now,” Silver Spoon mused.

Diamond Tiara narrowed her eyes at Button and grinned wickedly, “Maybe they got sick of him, and told him to buzz off. I mean, you can hardly blame them…”

“No…sniff…” Button said weakly as he fought back tears, “they’re all my friends…” They like me, right? I mean, they invite me to play with them…

“Wow, a blank flank that isn’t even good enough for the rest of those blank flanks,” Silver Spoon said her smile suddenly mirroring her friends, “I think we found a new level of pathetic here.”

“What are you, their charity case?” Diamond Tiara asked as she cocked her head to the side and widened her grin. “Do those three think they’ll get pity cutie marks if they let you hang around with you long enough?”

“But… but Sweetie Belle…” They’re not just hanging out with me because they feel sorry for me! Right? RIGHT?! “eh…ehh …ehh heeeHuaaaaHuaaaa…”

His fashion attacked, his friendships called into question, Button began to cry and wail as tears streamed down his face.

“Oh my gosh!” Diamond Tiara said as she held a forehoof up to her mouth and glanced at Silver Spoon. “He’s actually crying!”

“What a loser, oh my gosh!” Silver Spoon said.

The two fillies looked at each other and exchanged malevolent grins.

“Blank flank! Blank flank! Blank flank!” They chanted, tormenting the brown colt as Button continued to cry.

Sweetie Belle’s eyes shot open wide as her ears stood straight up.

“Uh oh…do you two hear that?” Scootaloo asked.

“Ah’d know that tortured sobbin’ anywhere, that’s Button Mash,” Apple Bloom said.

The three fillies turned and looked down the path they had begun to trot down on the way to the hospital and spotted the crying colt and his two tormentors.

“Looks like Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon found themselves another victim,” Scootaloo said.

“We have to help him!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “We can’t jus’ leave him to be bullied by them.”

“Well, d’uh!” Scootaloo replied. “Right, Sweetie Belle…? Sweetie Belle?”

If Sweetie Belle heard her friend, she made no sign that she did. Too far… Too far… She stared out at the scene in front of her, her eyelids slowly drifting downwards as her emerald eyes darted from the two bulling fillies, then to the bawling brown colt, then back to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. The left side of her lips pulled up to reveal teeth clenched as hard as the young filly could manage. Her pupils shrank to pinpricks framed by her angry eyelids as she focused a glare of red hot rage on her targets.

It’s ONnow!

The white unicorn let out a high pitched, blood curdling shriek, leaned her head down, and charged down the path.

Jump to top

Chapter 7: Seeing Green

The SweetieMash ChroniclesChapter 7: Seeing Green

Sweetie Belle focused her complete attention on the group of foals in front of her. She felt the ground as her hooves touched the worn dirt path and bounced off it again and again. She could hear the blood rushing past her ears and a loud, high pitched scream. Even these few details began to fade from her awareness as she closed the distance between her and the fillies in front of her.

“Blank flank! Blank Flank! Blank…”

“… aaaaaaaeeeeeeee…”

Silver Spoon’s ears perked up at the sound of a screech that was quickly getting louder in volume.

Seemingly oblivious, Diamond Tiara continued her taunting of the crying, young colt. “Blank flank! Blank Flank!”

“…aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Silver Spoon turned as the screaming got closer. Her vision was soon filled by a bright green glow from the angry, white unicorn that was rapidly approaching. Silver Spoon’s light purple eyes widened behind her glasses as she realized Sweetie Belle was on a collision course for her and her friend.

She began to frantically nudge the pink earth pony next to her.

“Blank-OW! What?!” Diamond Tiara asked. She quickly ascertained what her friend was drawing her attention to and managed to utter a quick, “Oh…” before Sweetie Belle slammed into Silver Spoon who, in turn, fell into Diamond Tiara.

Silver Spoon’s vision blurred partially from the impact, and partially because here glasses went flying off her face.

Diamond Tiara’s saw stars briefly as the world turned sideways.

Slowly, the two fillies regained their senses as a green glow began to completely envelop the area around them and a high pitched, ominous buzzing sound filled their ears.

Silver Spoon looked up and gulped. Blurred or not, she could see well enough to tell she was staring into a face that was currently regarding her and her friend with absolute contempt. “Uh… Diamond Tiara?” she called out meekly, “somehow I don’t think that colt is a charity case anymore…”

Diamond Tiara swallowed as she glanced over her friend and looked into Sweetie Belle’s rage filled eyes, “Ye…yeah…” she stammered out. The two fillies on the ground pulled their forelegs up to their chest and looked fearfully up at the white unicorn.

Sweetie Belle said nothing, making a small mental note that the screaming had stopped and that it was likely coming from her in the first place. Memories of her and her friends being bullied by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon surfaced, fueling the feelings of anger that was already bubbling and boiling insider her. The light from her horn surged in intensity as the buzzing continued to increase in volume and tone.

The two closed their eyes as the buzz emanating from Sweetie Belle’s horn crescendoed into a fevered pitch.

“SWEETIE BELLE!”

Sweetie Belle’s eyes shot open wide as Cheerilee called out to the young filly. As angry as she was, the sounds of an authority figure calling out in an alarmed, chastising tone was enough to get her to stop dead in her tracks. Her angry expression quickly evaporated and she turned to face Cheerilee with a panicked, guilty look.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon breathed a collective sigh of relief.

“What is going on, here?!” Cheerilee demanded.

Still lying on their backs on the ground, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon exchanged wicked grins as they realized the sudden shift in power. Diamond Tiara put on her best hurt and scared expression. “Ma… Ms. Cheerilee, we were just…”

“BULLIES… YELL… BLANK FLANK… SWEETIE BELLE… SAVE ME…!” Button cried as he flailed his forehooves about in front of him.

Cheerilee turned and stared at the brown colt as she attempted to decipher the string of words he had uttered.

“Bu…but Ms. Cheerilee…” Diamond Tiara said as she attempted to gain her teachers attention.

“SCREAM… MAGIC… GREEN…. GLOWING…”

“Button Mash! Slow down!” Cheerilee asked of the young brown colt as she held up her forehoves.

Silver Spoon rose to her hooves and squinted out into her grassy surroundings, she picked out a light blue blur in the sea of green and trotted over. She reached down with her hooves and placed her glasses onto her face. She turned to the magenta pony as Cheerilee continued her attempt to calm Button Mash down. Silver Spoon put on her best, sad puppy dog look, trotted over to Cheerilee, and…

“These two were bullyin’ Button Mash!” Apple Bloom cried as she and Scootaloo ran up to the group of ponies.

“Was not!” Diamond Tiara cried defensively.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes, “Do you hear that? The lying machine just turned on.”

“Apple Bloom? Scootaloo? What…” Cheerilee began.

The strategy of playing the victim forgotten, Silver Spoon mustered her wits about her and quickly formulated a retort, “We were not!”

“Were too!” Apple Bloom replied.

“If you two wore pants they’d totally be on fire right now!” Scootaloo chimed in.

“We weren’t bullying him!” Diamond Tiara insisted.

“You hear that, Apple Bloom?” Scootaloo said. “Apparently there’s a new definition for bullying that somehow doesn’t include teasing someone until they start crying.”

Apple Bloom snickered.

“What?! Crying…” Cheerilee exclaimed, “Button is this…”

“… FRIENDS… DANGER…”

Cheerilee sighed and raised a forehoof to her face.

“We weren’t bullying him!” Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon said in unison in a somewhat desperate tone.

“Were too!” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo shot back.

“… HOSPITAL… MEDICAL WASTE…”

“Were not!”

“Were too!”

Cheerilee eye’s darted back and forth between the two pair of arguing fillies and Button Mash. Her face began to scrunch up in frustration as she attempted to ascertain exactly what had transpired.

Sweetie Belle merely stood in place, her face a deep shade of red as her looked over the quarreling foals, confused school teacher, and babbling colt.

“… QUARANTINE… INFECTION…”

“Were not!”

“Were too!”

“… ZOMBIES… APOCALYPSE!” Button Screamed has he places his forehoofs to either side of his head.

“ENOUGH!” Cheerilee shouted.

The foals all went quiet.

“Alright, all of you to the schoolhouse. I’ll sort this out there,” Cheerilee said as she pointed out with a forehoof towards the red building.

Diamond Tiara tried to protest, “But, Sweetie Belle…”

“GO!” Cheerilee commanded sternly.

The foals all sighed out a chorus of, “Yes, ma’am,” as they hung their heads walked towards the schoolhouse, the magenta mare right behind them.

Sweetie Belle kept her eyes pointed at the ground as felt a deep pit open in her stomach. Defending Button Mash, or not, there’s no wayCheerilee is going to let me off for attacking Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. She’ll probably tell my parents… or Rarity… Sweetie Belle felt water well up behind her eyes as she attempted to choke back sobs.

“Hey…”

Sweetie Belle felt somepony gently nuzzle the side of her face as she trudged onward.

She looked up into the smiling face of Button Mash. His warm, amber eyes locked onto her glassy emerald ones.

“Thanks for being my hero,” Button Mash said.

Sweetie Belle smiled meekly and nodded as her cheeks flushed a luminescent shade of vermilion.

Worth it!

Jump to top

Chapter 8: Mrs. Wolf

The SweetieMash ChroniclesChapter 8: Mrs. Wolf

“‘Tain’t fair… it jus’ ‘tain’t…” Apple Bloom declared as she walked down the school steps.

“Well… At least Ms. Cheerilee is giving those two a lecture about bullying…” Scootaloo said in disappointed tone with a look to match. “Maybe it’ll cause those two to miraculously change their ways…” she added sarcastically.

Apple Bloom sighed, “Like that’ll happen…”

Button Mash wordlessly followed the two fillies as they trudged off towards nowhere in particular. He kept his eyes fixed on the ground as he let his mind soak in the recent events of Sweetie Belle coming to his rescue, only to end up in trouble for her intervention.

“No, really,” Scootaloo continued in a sardonic tone, “maybe Ms. Cheerilee’s lectures have ‘magical’”—Scootaloo rolled her eyes—“ behavior changing properties that will cause Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon to change their ways and they’ll never bully another pony again.”

“We get it, Scootaloo…” Apple Bloom said.

Scootaloo stopped and raised her forehoofs up over her head, shaking them about slightly as she tossed a glance at the sky, “And then they’ll just devote all their time to helping the needy and taking care of baby animals that can’t take care of themselves, all the while spreading magical fairy dust that makes everypony around them happy…”

“Alright Scootaloo, enou… Wait…” Apple Bloom stopped in place and turned to her friend, “…what was that last thing ya said? It actually sounded like a good idea for crusadin'…”

“Uh…spreading magical fairy dust that makes everypony around them happy?” Scootaloo suggested.

“Ah meant before that!” Apple Bloom stated.

“Oh! Uh… helping the needy and taking care of baby…”

“THIS INJUSTICE WILL NOT STAND!” Button suddenly declared.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo paused and turned towards the brown colt. Button stared back at them with a look of determination on his face.

“We’re upset, too,” Apple Bloom said, “but what can we do?”

Scootaloo nodded, “Yeah, I mean… deserved it or not, I don’t think Ms. Cheerilee will overlook that Sweetie Belle looked ready to vaporize those two…” She sighed, “Ms. Cheerilee just had to stop Sweetie Belle before it got good…”

“We can’t just leave Sweetie Belle to suffer because she stood up for what’s right!” Button said dramatically.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked at each other briefly, then turned back to Button Mash.

“Well, what did you have in mind?” Scootaloo asked.

Button Mash narrowed his eyes lightly and glanced to the side, “We need a plan to get her out.”

“Uh…” Apple Bloom began, “Isn’t that kinda… against tha rules?”

Button scowled off into space and tilted his head down slightly. His beanie hat cast a dark shadow over his features, “If the rules are going to side with criminals and see good ponies imprisoned, then we need to take justice into our own hooves.”

“…Welp, Button’s officially gone off the deep end,” Scootaloo declared.

“Button,” Apple Bloom began, “we’re all upset, but maybe ya should calm down and…”

“We should totally bust Sweetie Belle out,” Scootaloo interrupted.

Button Mash looked up at the orange pegasus and grinned.

“WHAT?!” Apple Bloom cried. She motioned to Button Mash with a forehoof, “But you said he was talkin’ crazy!”

Scootaloo nodded, “He is, but it’s my kind of crazy!”

Apple Bloom looked at her friend and then at the brown colt, “I don’t know… we can get an awful lot of trouble…”

“Yeah, but we might also get our cutie marks in daring rescue or jail break, I mean… we know Sweetie Belle is actually being held this time around…”

Apple Bloom paused briefly and thought about this. “Alright… I’m in,” she said with a smile.

Button Mash grinned wide, “Alright…” his smile suddenly dropped. “Uh… do we have a plan?”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo went quiet as they both put on contemplative expressions.

Scootaloo was the first to speak up, “…Blow open a hole in the side of the school with fireworks.”

“Love it,” Button Mash replied.

“Scootaloo,” Apple Bloom said in a chastising tone, “that sounds criminally irresponsible! Even for us…”

“Well, you suggest something then!” Scootaloo replied.

“Uh… we could… we could tunnel under the school and make a hole for Sweetie Belle!” Apple Bloom suggested.

“That could work,” Button chimed in.

Scootaloo shook her head, “Remember the when we tried being Cutie Mark Crusader gem miners?”

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER’S GEM MINERS, YAY!”

The three fillies retracted their forehooves and switched on the lights attached to their yellow hardhats. They stood in front of a deep, dark mineshaft as long neglected rusted rails and splintered tracks led into it.

Apple Bloom peered into the shaft, allowing her light to reveal the rough stone walls covered by graffiti and splintering wooden support beams that lined the side. “I don’t know girls… it doesn’t exactly look safe down there…”

“You worry too much, Apple Bloom,” Scootaloo replied.

“Yeah, Rarity just said the mine was closed because it was offended,” Sweetie Belle said.

Apple Bloom cocked an eye at Sweetie Belle, “That don’t make a lick of sense, are ya sure she didn’t say ‘offensive’?”

“Ooooh, yeah… that makes a lot more sense,” Sweetie Belle replied.

Scootaloo inspected some of the nearby graffiti, “That seems to fit,” she squinted at words, “some of this looks pretty bad…”

Apple Bloom approached and examined collection of limericks and foul language, “Wow, the ponies who wrote all this stuff really like buckin’, maybe we should see if we can find some who’d like to buck with Big McIntosh and Applejack.”

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle exchanged a quick glance and attempted to stifle their giggles before the two fillies erupted into hysterical fits of laughter that sent both to the ground.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“What?” Apple Bloom protested. “It sounds like a good idea to me…”

“Apple…hehehe…Apple Bloom…” Scootaloo stammered out as she attempted to reign in her laughter, “let’s just…let’s just go into the mine…”

Apple Bloom gave her friends a confused glance, “Oh… alright then…”

Sweetie Belle giggled as she raised herself back to her hooves and nodded. “Maybe we’ll find some diamonds!” she said excitedly.

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow at the white unicorn, “What is it with you and diamonds?”

Sweetie Belle grinned, “Rarity found a few and showed them to me! They’re super rare and super sparkly!”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes, “Whatever… let’s go…”

The trio picked up a number of digging tools off the ground. Sweetie Belle lifted up a pickaxe with her mouth, Scootaloo did the same with a shovel, and Apple Bloom raised a sledgehammer. The three trotted into the mine without a second thought as the flashlights attached to their helmets lit the way.

The fillies trotted deeper and deeper into the mine, the graffiti became less frequent as the light from the tunnel became a small dot and their flashlights provided the only source of illumination. The fillies turned a corner and soon found themselves facing a wall of jagged, loose stones.

The three dropped their tools as they examined the wall.

Sweetie Belle smiled, “This looks like the perfect place to start mining for some diamonds!”

Apple Bloom examined the wall carefully, “Huh… looks like some pony left before they were finished here… I wonder what made them leave…”

“Someone probably wrote something rude about their mom near the front,” Scootaloo suggested.

Sweetie Belle nodded, “There were an awful lot of accusations directed at ponies’ moms out front.” She smiled as a green glow enveloped her pickaxe and it floated up, “Well, let’s get started…” She used her magic to swing the pickaxe forward at one of rocks that jutted out from the wall in front of the fillies. It fell out of the wall and tumbled to the ground, soon followed by another, and another.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders took several steps back as a large volume of rocks all began to cascade from the wall in front of them and a low, rumbling sound emanated from the mine as everything around them began to shake.

“Sweetie Belle! What did you doooo?!” Apple Bloom cried.

“I barely touched it!” Sweetie Belle squeaked out.

“RUN!” Scootaloo cried.

The three fillies bolted back for the main shaft as the section they just fled from collapsed behind them. They bee-lined for the exit as the already strained wooden supports began to crack and splinter further, bending in towards the tunnel as the pressure from the rocks around them increased.

The three all shrieked out terrified screams as beams began to break and solid ground filled the open air of the mineshaft. They sprinted for the exit as swiftly as their little legs would take them. The walls and ceilings began to collapse around the girls, throwing rocks and dust out as the trio raced a wave of solid stone that was quickly gaining on them.

The three felt warm rays of sunshine beam down on them as they narrowly made it outside the mine. The front of the shaft collapsed inward and a pile of loose rocks and rubble jutted out from the former entrance as if the mine was making one last attempt to entomb the fillies.

Shaking and breathing heavily, the three foals all looked at each other and nodded their dust covered heads as if confirming that they had all, in fact, survived the dangerous collapse of the mine.

Sweetie Belle sighed and shook her head, “I need a safer method to mine for diamonds.”

Apple Bloom shuddered, “Oh, right… at least we figured out that Rarity had said ‘condemned’.”

“Hmmm…” Button hummed loudly as he rubbed a forehoof against his chin, “I know! We should ask my mom.”

“Uh… ya really think she’d help us?” Apple Bloom asked, a bit skeptical that an adult would lend a hoof to breaking a foal out of detention.

Button Mash nodded, “Mom always knows what to do in these situations!”

“She does really like Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo pointed out, “also… she’s terrifying when she’s angry. She might actually lend us a hoof.”

“Well, I guess she could at least add some adult responsibility to everything…” Apple Bloom mused, “maybe keep us from getting inta too much trouble…”

Button Mash smiled, “Then it’s settled! AWAY!” the colt shouted as a he broke into a gallop for his house.

Scootaloo looked at Apple Bloom, “You follow him, I’m going to go get my scooter and catch up.”

Apple Bloom nodded and sprinted after Button Mash, “Hey Button! Wait up!”

Love Tap hummed happily to herself as she held a feather duster in her mouth and waggled her head up and down as the feathers lightly brushed against a painting frame hung on the kitchen wall. The frame surrounded a painting of horse shoes drawn in a number of soft colors.

Afternoons had become something of an in exercise in keeping herself busy with the house being completely empty. Keeping the house clean only occupied so much of her time. Playing her sons’ video games also made for a welcome distraction as well as daily shopping trips for dinner ingredients that had become something of a norm. The trips often provided an excellent opportunity to kill time by making small talk with ponies.

A new welcome development was her occasionally trips to pop in on Rarity and see if the young mare wasn’t too busy at the shop or working on her latest fashion line to chat or have some lunch. The act had also netted her a few more acquaintances as the two would occasionally bump into and invite one of Rarity’s friends along.

Today had been pretty quiet, however. Love Tap continued humming as she trotted over to another framed painting. This one of a pristine looking valley bathed orange in the warm glow of a raising sun. There were many such paintings around the house. They helped keep the mare calm and relaxed. Though, it didn’t seem likely she’d need an extra helping of either. Button often spent a fair amount of time after school playing outside, whether it was his portable video games or playing with Sweetie Belle and her friends.

Love Tap smiled at the thought of the young filly that had befriended her son. Although, it was now a new development that her son would be dragged into some activity that left him in dire need of a bath when he came home, a little dirt (well… a lot…) was a small price to pay for the joy the unicorn brought to her young colt’s life.

Love Tap paused her cleaning and thought for a second. ‘Hmmm… I guess I could always tell Button to invite her over for dinner again…’ She chuckled to herself. ‘Assuming he simply doesn’t show up with her in tow and ask himself…”

‘SLAM!’

Love Tap was startled out of her thoughts at the sound of the front door swinging open forcefully. It was unusually early in the day for Button to be home.

“Ma…MOOOOM!” Button cried out.

Love Tap trotted into the hallway. “Button! What have I said about opening the door?” she asked in a chastising tone.

Button’s chest puffed in and out as he desperately attempted to catch his breath.

“Button?” Love Tap said with a touch of concern, “What’s wrong? Did you run all the way home?”

“MOM!” Button Mash cried before he broke into a string of frantic babbling, “SWEETIE BELLE… BULLIES… YELL… SAVE ME… SCHOOL… TROUBLE…!”

Love Tap shot her son a confused look as her ears flopped around her head, “Wha… Button! Slow down! What’s this about Sweetie Belle?”

“… FIGHT… MS. CHEERILEE… STOP… ARGUE… CATCH HER…!”

“Button! I can’t understand what you’re saying!”

Apple Bloom ran into the house and placed a forehoof against her chest as she desperately attempted to catch her breath.

“Apple Bloom?” Love Tap said as she turned to the yellow filly, “What’s going on? What happened?”

“Huff…puff… Sweetie Belle…” Apple Bloom began, “huff… she… puff … she…”

Love Tap’s confused and worried expression began to shift towards panic at the second mention of the young fillies name, “What happened?! What’s wrong with Sweetie Belle?!”

“…IMPRISONED…” Button shouted, “… INJUSTICE… MUST… RECTIFY!”

“Imprisoned?!” Love Tap cried. “What in the wide world of Equestria did you girls do this time!?”

“We… huff… we didn’t…puff…”

The group paused as the sound of a quiet buzzing increased until Scootaloo appeared riding her blue scooter and wearing her purple helmet.

“Geez, you two…” Scootaloo uttered as she stepped off her scooter and glanced at her friends, “… you two can’t take a little run?”

“…BUT… BUT… SWEETIE BELLE… CAPTIVE… MUST SAVE… !” Button cried.

Scootaloo took off her helmet and sighed as she shook her head, “Apple Bloom, why don’t you take Button into the kitchen, see if there’s a juice box in the fridge or somethin’…”

Apple Bloom nodded and hooked an arm around the young colt’s forearm, “C’mon, Button… let’s getcha calmed down…”

“BUT… BUT… JUSTICE!” Button wailed as Apple Bloom dragged him down the hall.

Love Tap followed the two foals with her eyes briefly then turned to Scootaloo, “So what happened to Sweetie Belle?”

“She got in trouble,” Scootaloo explained.

“I gathered that, what do you mean got in trouble? Is she okay?” Love Tap asked in a worried tone.

Scootaloo nodded, “She’s fine, she’s just serving a little detention is all.”

Love Tap let out a sigh of relief and looked back up at Scootaloo, “What’s she serving time for? Were you three out crusading again?” Love Tap asked in a slightly accusatory tone.

Scootaloo shook her head, “We hadn’t got that far yet, you see, we heard a couple of fillies bullying Button Mash…”

“…What?” Love Tap growled through clenched teeth as her previously pensive expression shattered into an angry scowl.

“Uh… There’s these two fillies at school, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon,” Scootaloo explain, “they pretty much spend most their free time picking on other foals.”

“I ssseeee…” Love Tap hissed out.

“So, anyways, we hear them picking on Button and then Sweetie Belle just loses it and flies into some sort of berserk rage as she charges the two…”

Love Tap nodded, “As you do.”

“Right…” Scootaloo looked up at the tan mare quizzically, “…wait, what? Uh… never mind… anyhow… before Sweetie Belle could blast the two of them into little piles of ash, Ms. Cheerilee catches her and stops her.”

Love Tap sighed and shook her head, “Teachers, am I right?”

Scootaloo grinned wide and nodded, “Tell me about it… anyhow. Ms. Cheerilee stops the fight, puts Sweetie Belle in detention and gives Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon a lecture on not picking on ponies that are different from them.”

Love Tap rolled her eyes. “Right, I’m sure they’ll change their ways and start spreading magical cheer wherever they go now that Ms. Soft-hoofed Cheerilee has spoken to them,” she said sarcastically.

Scootaloo giggled, “That’s what I said!”

Apple Bloom and Button Mash trotted out of the kitchen with a slight limp as the two held up juice boxes in one of their free hooves.

“Can we rescue Sweetie Belle, mom?” Button asked, his voice began to become more and more hopeful, “Can we? Can we?!”

Love Tap smiled sweetly at her son, “Of course, dear.”

“Yay!” Button cried as he raised his forehooves and waved them about excitedly.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom looked surprised as they stared at the tan mare.

“Whoa, seriously?” Scootaloo said.

“Huh… Ah was not expecting that response…” Apple Bloom admitted.

Love Tap smirked, “If Ms. Cheerilee thinks I going to let a couple bullies who picked on my Button Mash run free while the pony who came to his rescue sits alone in a classroom, she’s got another thing coming…”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged smiles and turned to Button Mash.

“Wow Button,” Scootaloo exclaimed, “you have, like, the coolest mom ever!”

Button Mash chuckled.

Love Tap’s smile shifted into to a thoughtful expression, “First we need a plan…”

“I suggested we blow open a hole in the side of the school with fireworks,” Scootaloo informed.

“Love it,” Love Tap replied.

“…What, seriously?” Scootaloo asked. “I mean… it sounds sorta… uh… help me out, Apple Bloom… what was that thing you said earlier?”

“…Criminally irresponsible?” Apple Bloom reminded.

Scootaloo nodded and pointed to Apple Bloom, “Yeah! That!”

Love Tap stared off into the distance with a determined look on her face and clopped her two forehooves together, “If the rules are going to side with criminals and see good ponies imprisoned, then we need to take justice into our own hooves.”

“Ah think Ah see where Button got his sense of right and wrong from,” Apple Bloom commented.

“Well, we better go out and get some fireworks,” Scootaloo said.

Apple Bloom looked at her, “You actually want to go through with this?”

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow, “You don’t?”

“Ah jus’ think it’s mighty unsafe and that we’ll probably get in trouble,” Apple Bloom said.

“How many times do you think we’ll have an adult encourage us to blow open a hole in the side of the school!?” Scootaloo asked.

Apple Bloom’s eyes widened, “…Alright, we best get going, then. Those fireworks aren’t going to get themselves…”

“Scootaloo,” Love Tap said, “do you think you could pull all of us with your scooter if we tied a cart or carriage to it and the rest of us plus Sweetie Belle were in it?”

Scootaloo nodded, “Piece of cake!”

Love Tap turned to her son, “Alright Button, I’ll need to get something big enough for all of us to ride in, but not too big that Scootaloo can’t pull it behind her.”

Button nodded, “Alright, mom… what are you going to do?”

Love Tap smiled mischievously. “Oh… just take care of a couple of loose ends…”she answered cryptically.

Jump to top

Chapter 9: The Escape

The SweetieMash ChroniclesChapter 9: The Escape

“I just can’t believe Sweetie Belle would do such a thing!”

Sweetie Belle cringed as she heard her sister’s voice from outside the school. She had been left at her desk to sit and think about her actions in the schoolhouse while Cheerilee went to get Rarity, presumably so her big sister could give her a lecture on her behavior.

Despite already getting a lecture from Cheerilee, Sweetie Belle still wasn’t very regretful about the whole incident. Alright, so blasting them with magic probably would have been a bit much… But they werepicking on Button… Sweetie Belle paused and pursed her lips. It’s not like he knows how to defend himself in those situations. Sweetie Belle pondered on this for a second, she giggled lightly to herself for a second and shook her head. I can’t believe the same colt who would jump off a roof or cliff with a small promise that whatever on his back will keep him safe bursts into tears if he’s being made fun of… Gosh, he’s so cute…

Sweetie Belle suddenly frowned as she felt her cheeks warm up, Uh-oh… I think I’m in deep…

Her thoughts occupied with her own feelings on Button Mash, she forgot about the conversation the two mares were having about her outside.

“To think my own sister would lose her head over something, and resort to violence…” Rarity said. “Why, I know our parents taught her better than this.”

“I was just as surprised as you were when I saw it,” Cheerilee explained, “but it was quite clear she was about to get violent with those two.”

Rarity paused. “Two?”

“Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon,” Cheerilee explained.

The surprised expressions on Rarity’s face abandoned ship as her countenance crashed at full speed into the shallow sandbar of understanding. “Oh, now that I believe.”

“Well, who it was doesn’t really matter does it?” Cheerilee said.

Rarity cocked an eyebrow at the magenta mare, “I understand that violence against one’s peers should never be the answer, but those two bully my sister and her friends relentlessly. I would have expected Scootaloo to come to blows with those two first, but it’s hardly surprising one of them was pushed over the edge.”

Cheerilee pursed her lips and knitted her eyebrows slightly. Slightly flustered by Rarity’s words, she decided to press on. “Be that as it may… your sister looked like she was about ready to blast those two with magic. Now wouldn’t you agree that seems just a little extreme?”

Rarity sighed. “Don’t tell me you’re punishing her more severely because she was going to use magic instead of pummeling the two girls silly with her hooves.”

Cheerilee looked at Rarity with equal parts shock and offense. “Excuse me?! I would never treat any of my students differently just because they were a unicorn,” Cheerilee insisted.

Rarity smirked. “I didn’t say ‘unicorn’, now did I? I said ‘magic’.”

“What?!” Cheerilee cried in a protesting tone. “But you… that’s being pedantic and you know it!”

“Still hung up on Proud Heart?” Rarity asked. “I can’t help if he had a thing for unicorns, you know...”

Cheerilee shot Rarity an angry glare. “No…” she said through gritted teeth. “…I am not hung up on a high school crush or letting such a trivial thing affect my judgments…”

“I’m just saying, dearie,” Rarity began, “he and I go out on a few dates and then you don’t even speak to me again unless you have too…”

Cheerilee narrowed her eyes. “It was much more than ‘a few’ dates.”

Rarity tittered lightly. “Hehehe… So you are still hung up on Proud Heart.”

Cheerilee’s jaw hung open slightly as her eye twitched ever so slightly. “No! I didn’t…grrrRRRRRAH!”

Cheerilee made frustrated roar and then looked back at Rarity with an irritated expression. Rarity always did know how to get under her skin with they were growing up together. She just had to bring up Proud Heart, didn’t she?! She knew I had a huge crush on him, but did that stop her?! This is why I was hoping to get one of Sweetie Belle’s parents! Cheerilee’s expression shifted back to thoughtful contemplation.Wait… Is Rarity trying to distract me like she used to do back in school? Is she trying to get me to let Sweetie…

“I’m sorry, dearie…”

The apology smashed into Cheerilee’s thoughts like a wrecking ball. She refocused her attention on Rarity.

“Oh, I knew how you felt about Proud Heart, and you did everything right!” Rarity insisted. She gave a small chuckle. “Hehe… I daresay it was always fun trying to keep up with the latest fashion with you, but I wasn’t trying to steal him from you, you know…”

Cheerilee sighed and shook her head. “Oh, it’s alright… I mean… he did have a thing for unicorns, and I can’t blame you to saying ‘yes’ to a few dates and dances because he was attracted to you. Of course you’d be interested… what pony wouldn’t?”

Rarity grinned briefly before a serious expression remerged on her face. “Still, I could have been more mindful of your feelings, darling. I mean, I knew full well how you felt about him...”

“I appreciate hearing that Rarity, but…” Cheerilee sighed again, this time with more forcefulness. “…No, you know what? It wasn’t your fault...” Cheerilee took a few steps away from Rarity and stared off into the bright, cheery landscape of Ponyville. The pleasant day did little to improve her currently dour mood as she dealt with her feelings of the recently dredged up past. “Oooh… I just wish I didn’t waste so much time and effort trying to woo him…”

Rarity chuckled once more. “You did have the frizziest hair by far,” Rarity mused. "You probably could have had any stallion you wanted…”

“UHG! I KNOW!” Cheerilee exclaimed. “But nooo…” she said in a tone almost as if she was berated her past self, “it just had to be Proud Heart… hours spent getting my mane and tail to be the frizziest at school just to catch his attention…” she said as she inserted her forehooves into her mane and lifted the pink hair slightly.

Rarity grinned to herself as Cheerilee launched into a tirade over her past fashion and high school crush choices. Some things never change…

“What’s the sitch, mom?” Button asked as he looked up at his mother. The colt was still wearing his signature propeller beanie, however he had donned black tights that hugged his body up to his neck.

Love Tap was dressed similarly, her tights also extending up to her neck. She passed a pair of binoculars to her son as she tilted her ear in the direction of school.

“I think Rarity is keeping her distracted,” Love Tap informed as her ear twitched slightly.

“Are they talking about Sweetie Belle?” Button asked as he raised the binoculars to his face and peered through them.

Love Tap knitted her brow slightly. “I think they’re talking about high school…”

Scootaloo trotted over to the black-tight-wearing mother-and-son duo. “Sweetie Belle did mention that Rarity used to go to school with Cheerilee.”

“Ah wonder why they’d up and start talking about that,” Apple Bloom wondered out loud.

Love Tap shook her head. “Maybe, Rarity is trying her own tactic to get Sweetie Belle out of trouble…” She shrugged. “…or maybe there’s just a few things the two need to talk about and this is the first chance Rarity’s had to talk to Cheerilee… Anyhow…” Love Tap glanced at the cart full of large, dangerous looking fireworks before she looked out at the foals and smiled. “Everything ready?”

The foals saluted. “Ready!” they answered.

Love Tap nodded. “Good, then let’s not let this opportunity go to waste...”

Button Mash and Apple Bloom enthusiastically retreated back to the cart of fireworks, while Scootaloo lagged behind.

“Something I can help you with, Scootaloo?” Love Tap asked with a smile.

“Uh… I guess I just wanted to know why you’re so willing to blow a hole in the school… being an adult and all…” Scootaloo said sheepishly. She suddenly smiled. “Not that I’m complaining, mind you…”

Love Tap chuckled. “Well, let’s just say I understand Sweetie Belle’s situation quite well.” Love Tap paused as she turned back towards the school. “And I figured out long ago that if you’re going to get in trouble for something, it might as well be something you deserve to be in trouble for.”

Scootaloo chuckled. “Hehehe...So go big or go home, huh?”

Love Tap gave the young filly a closed eyed smile. “Something like that. Now go run along and help the other two with the fireworks,” Love Tap said as she shooed the young filly along with her forehooves.

Scootaloo nodded. “Right!”

So what do I say to him? Sweetie Belle thought to herself as she stared out into open space. That I ‘like,like, like, you’?Sweetie Belle frowned. That sounds stupid… Love? Erm… maybe that’s a bit forward… I mean… I’m pretty sure we’re too young to get married...

“ULGH!”

Sweetie Belle broke herself from her stupor as she noticed the talking outside becoming increasingly heated.

Her lower lip began to quiver as her ears flopped down around her head. Wow, Ms. Cheerilee actually sounds angry. She wasn’t like that when she was talking to me. Maybe I’m in more trouble than I thought…

Sweetie Belle perked an ear up and leaned over in her desk towards the voices. The large schoolhouse windows didn’t tend to block sound very well, but Cheerilee’s animated talking was somewhat difficult to follow. Rarity didn’t seem to be saying much of anything, only punctuating Cheerilee’s speech every now and again as the magenta mare continued her frustrated sounding diatribe.

Sweetie Belle gulped as her face began to feel hot and beads of sweat formed on her face. Ms. Cheerilee couldn’t be thatmad at me… could she…? I mean… she already lectured me about what I was doing…

Sweetie Belle looked off into space as she considered the possibility that both Cheerilee and Rarity might be incredibly angry at her and that the school door could open at a moments noticed and she’d have two adult mares screaming at her.

Rarity will probably tell our parents and I’ll be grounded for forever…

No going to the clubhouse, no crusading... Sweetie Belle sighed. No going over to Button’s house…

Sweetie Belle paused, noticing that Cheerilee has suddenly become a bit quieter and almost jovial sounding. Huh…? Is she not mad anymore? Sweetie Belle’s face lit up. Maybe Rarity talked to her so she wouldn’t be so mad! Yep, I bet my big sister is looking out for me… Sweetie Belle briefly frowned before her face shot back up into panic mode. Either that or they're talking about how I’m going to be punished and laughing about it…

‘Tap. Tap. Tap.’

‘Tap… Tap… Tap…’

She paused as she heard a tapping sound on the wall. Rhythmic, as if something was tapping out a pattern. She glanced towards the school entrance and hoped the two mares weren’t going to finish anywhere soon. She hopped down from her chair and made her way towards the tapping noise. She placed her ear up against the wall. It sounds like… a hoof against wood. She listened some more.

‘Tap. Tap. Tap.’

‘Tap… Tap… Tap…’

Sweetie Belle knitted her brow.Horse code? “Uh… excuse me?” Sweetie Belle said. “I don’t know Horse Code… like… at all…”

“Oh…” A young foal’s voice replied.

Sweetie Belle’s face lit up. “Button?” she asked.

“Yeah! It’s me… uh… look… you should probably stand back and find cover,” Button said.

“Find cover?” Sweetie Belle replied as she knitted her brow.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS JAIL BREAKERS, YAY!”

‘Ssssssss…’

Worry quickly overtook Sweetie Belle’s features. Between her friends cry and the familiar hissing of a fuse, it didn’t take her long to figure out what was going on. The young filly ran for her desk, and in a light green glow, set the piece of furniture on its side as she wrapped her forearms around her head and hid behind the metal and wood item.

“ULGH!” Cheerilee cried in an annoyed tone. She blew a quick gust of air up towards her bangs as she stared off into open space.

Rarity just grinned. She was quite used to all the little noises Cheerilee would utter when frustrated or if she was having an animated discussion.

“It’s just…tell me the braces had play…” Cheerilee said as she turned back towards Rarity.

Rarity tittered once more. “Hehe… The braces totally had play, darling.”

Cheerilee sighed. “I KNOW! Most ponies would think they were lame, but I totally rocked those braces…” She frowned. “I was almost sorry to let them go.”

Rarity placed a sympathetic hoof on Cheerilee’s shoulder. “We all were, dear. We had some times… Hehehe…Remember when the glare from your earrings and hair clips kept on blinding the Pegasus students, causing them to crash?”

Cheerilee grinned. “I remember, you actually stormed into the schoolhouse on my behalf and demanded I be allowed to keep wearing them because my outfit wasn’t complete without them.”

Rarity sighed wistfully. “Those were the days…” Rarity smiled wide at Cheerilee, “Maybe we should get together and talk old times over a drink sometime.” Rarity flashed Cheerilee a hopeful look. “My treat?”

Cheerilee grinned. “I’d like that.”

Still smiling, she looked back at Cheerilee. “So, uh… about Sweetie Belle…”

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing…” Cheerilee said with a smirk.

Rarity flinched. “Uh… whatever do you mean, darling…”

Cheerilee gave Rarity a knowing chuckle. “Oh come on Rarity. The distraction? The offer of a drink? You used that routine enough on me at school that I eventually pieced together what your little game was.”

Rarity giggled nervously. “Heheeeh… Was I that obvious?”

“Well, no,” Cheerilee said. “And I did enjoy talking to you. I just have had enough time to pick up on your tricks is all.”

“Tricks, right…” Rarity said as her face went serious. “Sorry Cheerilee, I should have known better than to try and pull a fast one on you… but… I do want you to know I meant everything I said…” Rarity said earnestly.

Cheerilee paused as she looked at Rarity and sighed. “Look… I know Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon pick on everypony pretty relentlessly… and I can see how somepony might lose their temper if they saw their friend being picked on. If you can get Sweetie Belle to promise she’ll never do it again, I guess I can keep it between us.”

“Oh my, why that’s ever so kind of you!” Rarity exclaimed happily.

Cheerilee smiled. “You still owe me that drink though.”

“Hehe… Of course, darling…”

“Anyhow, I doubt Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon will pick on Button Mash ever again…”

Rarity’s happy expression shattered like a brick thrown through a plate glass window. “Ba…Button Mash…” she stammered out. “You put Sweetie Belle in detention because she was defending, poor, sweet, harmless Button Mash?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!” Rarity shrieked.

Cheerilee’s expression turned surprised at Rarity’s outburst. She frowned. “Well, I can’t make distinctions based on the bullying victims here.”

Rarity shook her head. “You don’t get it, do you? His mom, she’s a mother…” Rarity said as her voiced dropped to a whisper.

Cheerilee cocked an eyebrow at Rarity. “Well… I think that’s pretty obvious.”

“No, I mean… her cutie mark… she isn’t a mother, she’s the mother. And if she thinks her son has been wronged somehow, it’s not likely she’s just going to sit back and do nothing here. She’s probably working on breaking Sweetie Belle out of the school as we speak!”

“Uh…” Cheerilee began, “…that seems… rather extreme…”

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS JAIL BREAKERS, YAY!”

Rarity cringed as she heard the cry from the side of the school, knowing calamity was sure to follow. “Get down,” she ordered.

Cheerilee’s eyes drifted towards the sound of her students yelling, then back to Rarity, “Down? You don’t think-WHOA!” Cheerilee cried out in alarm as Rarity dove on top of her and covered the magenta mare’s head with her arms.

‘FeeeeEEEEEESSSSSSBOOOOOOOOOOOM!’

Soon, a high-pitched squeal followed by a school shattering boom tore through the quiet air. A dazzling, colorful display briefly lit up the daytime sky followed by the sound of falling wood and shattering glass as the ground and school itself shook violently.

“She… they… they wouldn’t…” Cheerilee murmured with wide, unbelieving eyes as she and Rarity raised too their hooves.

Cheerilee swallowed and opened the schoolhouse door. Overturned desks, scattered, flaming papers, and a large, burnt hole in the side of the wall greeted her as she witnessed Sweetie Belle gallop off towards a cart and quickly jump inside. A cloud of dust kicked up in front of the cart and Cheerilee swore she picked out a familiar buzzing sound and the sight of a small, green propeller as the cart sped away. Cheerilee simply looked on dumbstruck as she trotted forward to examine the large hole in her classroom. She heard the sounds of someone tentatively trotting up behind her.

“Soo…” Rarity said nervously, “…about that drink…”

“UHGGGG!” Cheerilee shouted before angrily looking out the hole again and sending a long, angry gust of breath up at her bangs. “Huuufff… Yes… I think… I think that’s the best idea the moment before I go have some poor colt’s parent arrested for property destruction.”

“It would break poor Button’s heart,” Rarity chimed in, “and you know how sensitive he is…”

“She IS going fix this, however!” Cheerilee declared as she motioned to the hole in the schoolhouse. “They ALL will!”

Rarity shrugged. “Well, that is a fairly standard Ponyville method of dealing with destroyed things…”

Cheerilee sighed as she walked out of the hole towards a nearby path.

Rarity followed and trotted up next to the mare.

“Rarity… am I… am I too soft hoofed?” Cheerilee asked.

“Well… erm…”

“Be honest, please,” Cheerilee said simply.

“Sometimes…” Rarity admitted, “…but I daresay about half your students would spend everyday in detention with you if you weren’t.”

Cheerilee smiled to herself. “You make an excellent point…”

Rarity chuckled. “Unicorn, dearie…” she said as she bobbed her head up, drawing attention to her horn.

Cheerilee shot Rarity a glare. “Don’t push it.”

“I can’t believe you guys came to rescue me!” Sweetie Belle cried happily as she wrapped her arms around Button Mash and began enthusiastically nuzzling the young colt.

Button grinned and returned the affection, he rubbed his cheek against Sweetie Belle as he enjoyed the feeling of her arms around his neck. “Well I couldn’t just leave you after you came to my rescue,” Button explained.

Apple Bloom averted her eyes and pretended to find something interesting out in the distance. Love Tap just grinned down at the young foals.

“Still, a broad daylight rescue with high explosives?!” Sweetie Belle squeaked out.

“Which was MY idea,” Scootaloo cried as she speed along with the cart tied to her scooter.

“Well, mom threw the plan together,” Button said.

Sweetie Belle looked up at Love Tap. “Thank you!” she said with a bright smile.

Love Tap smiled down at the young filly. “Oh, it’s alright… just righting an injustice…”

“Speakin’ of that,” Apple Bloom chimed in, “what did you do to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?”

Sweetie Belle’s expression turned pensive. Wait… if she was willing to blow open a hole in the school just because I was defending Button… I mean… she wouldn’t…

Love Tap chuckled. “Oh, I just thought they could use a good friend for about a week…”

‘Knock knockknockknock knock… knock knock.’

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon looked up from their teen fashion magazines and shot eachother a confused glance. It wasn’t often anyone simply came up to Diamond Tiara’s unannounced… and those that usually did certainly didn’t tap out ‘Shave and a Haircut, two bits’.

‘Tick, tock, tick tock…’

A large, grandfather clock that sat in the corner of the room ticked on as the two fillies contemplated what to do.

“Randolph!” Diamond Tiara called out from her comfortable looking cushion on the floor.

The two fillies perked their ears up, listening for the sound of Diamond Tiara’s approaching butler.

‘Tick, tock, tick tock…’

“RANDOLPH! DOOR!” Diamond Tiara cried with far more force and irritation.

Silver Spoon sighed and set down her magazine. “I’ll get it…” She stood to her hooves and trotted towards one of the large, elaborately carved double doors that served as the entrance to the large mansion. She reached for the doorknob and opened the door.

A bright pink mare with a curly, pink mane and beaming smile stood on the other end of the door.

Before either Silver Spoon or Diamond Tiara could say anything, the mare broke into song.

“Oh, somepony told me there was a pair of sad fillies in desperate need of a friend!”

“And I couldn’t bear the thought of two frowny ponies despairing without end!”

“So I said to myself, ‘Hey, Pinkie Pie what are you to do?”

“And then I said, ‘Let’s gather up some fun supplies!’ and brought them here to you!”

“So please, oh please turn those frowns upside down because Pinkie’s here to stay!”

“Let’s gather round and sing a song then go outside and plaaay!”

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon simply stared out at Pinkie as she smiled back at them.

Pinkie paused and put a hoof up to her chin, “Wait… I guess I just sung a song…”

‘SLAM!’

Silver Spoon quickly slammed the door and turned back towards Diamond Tiara with a worried, confused expression. “What is she doing here?”

Diamond Tiara just shrugged. “How would I know?”

“It’s your house!”

“So?! That doesn’t mean I’m privy to all the strange ideas my dad comes up with.”

“Hehehe… ‘Privy’ is a fun word to say!” a bubbling voice rang out.

“AHHH!” the two fillies cried out in alarm as they turned towards Pinkie, the pink mare somehow miraculously having gained entry into the home.

“You know what else is fun to say?” Pinkie asked as she tilted her head slightly and smiled at the two fillies.

“Uh… No… what…?” Diamond Tiara asked in a nervous tone.

“Discombobulate… hehe! So much fun… Here! Say it with me!”

The two fillies exchanged confused glances and looked back at Pinkie with blank expressions.

“Come on! SAY IT!” Pinkie commanded.

“Uh…discombob…” Diamond Tiara began.

Silver Spoon cleared her throat. “Discombobulate.”

“Discombobulate!” Pinkie cried cheerfully as she threw her forehooves into the air.

The group went silent again as the large clock continued to ‘tick’ and ‘tock’, counting down the uncomfortable seconds.

“So uh…Pinkie,” Diamond Tiara began, “Why are you here… in my house?” She said in a somewhat demanding tone.

“Oh! I thought I explained it all in my song! Here, let me start again…Oh, somepony told me there was a pair of sad fillies…”

“Uh, no…” Diamond Tiara said forcefully, “that’s alright… just… who told you we needed a friend? Did my dad put you up to this?” Diamond Tiara asked as she raised an eyebrow.

Pinkie shook her head. “Somepony, who I promised to keep their personage a penitentiary held private particular, paid Pinkie Pie to be your private pal for a period of peven days!”

“Uh… ‘peven’ isn’t a word…” Silver Spoon said.

“Yeah, but I was kinda on a poll, there…” Pinkie explained. “Whoops! Hehehe… I meant ‘roll’.”

“Sa… seven days?!” Diamond Tiara exclaimed. “That long?!”

“Long?!” Pinkie exclaimed in surprise. “More like short! That’s barely enough time to through my entire list of fun words to say while still leaving time for my collection of irritating noises...” Pinkie paused and leaned over towards the fillies. “With ‘Bee-do! Bee-do! Bee-do! Bee-do!’ being a new, personal favorite… so get excited about that, because you’re going to be hearing it a lot…” She said with a smile. “I mean like… you’re going to close your eyes when it’s quiet and think I’m saying ‘Bee-do! Bee-do! Bee-do!’ butit’ll just be your silly little filly noggins playing tricks on you!”

Diamond Tiara slowly stood up and began making her way for the door as she flashed a look at Silver Spoon.

Silver Spoon slowly began to turn the knob to the front door.

Pinkie continued, “…And every night I’ll read you a story from the Big Book of Shaggy Dog stories… which has a surprising lack of shaggy dogs!”

“RUN!” Diamond Tiara cried.

Silver Spoon opened the door and the two fillies made a mad gallop out into the mansion’s yard.

“Wait!” Pinkie cried as she began to bounce after the two. “The next word is ‘perpendicular’! How can you not be excited about that?!”

“RUN FASTER, D.T.! SHE’S GAINING ON US!”

“OH CELESTIA! HOW CAN ANYPONY BOUNCE SO FAST?!”

“So, what’s the plan now, mom?” Button asked.

“Well, I figure we’ll just go home and wait until this whole thing blows over…” Love Tap replied.

“Ya really think if we wait long enough we’ll get away with blowing a hole in the school?” Apple Bloom asked.

Love Tap frowned and her eyes went wide as her pupils shrank to pinpricks, almost as if it had just now dawned on her what had just transpired. “Uh…no… no I do not…” she answered.

Scootaloo sighed, “Oh well… at least we’ll all have plenty of company in detention together…”

“Gee, I hope it’s not cold out the next several days…” Button Mash muttered.

The group paused, before breaking into a fit of giggles and laughter.

“Hehehe…” Sweetie Belle stopped laughing as she realized Button was looking right at her. She attempted to get her thoughts together… Oh geez, what do I say to him? He just put himself in major trouble to get me out… Should I just try to tell him how I feel? But… everyone’s right here! His mom’s even here…

“Uh… hey…” Button Mash said.

“Ya… yeah?” Sweetie Belle replied as the young colt interrupted her thoughts.

“If I’m going to be in trouble… I’m glad it was because of you, Sweetie Belle,” Button Mash said with a smile before he planted a quick peck on the white unicorn’s cheek.

Sweetie Belle paused and stared out into space briefly as the blacks of her pupil’s swallowed her emerald iris. SweetieBelle.exe has encountered a fatal error, rebooting in 3…2…1…

Sweetie Belle collapsed to the cart floor.

“Sweetie Belle?!” Button exclaimed. “What… what happened?!”

Scootaloo glanced back into the cart. “Aaaand, Button just broke Sweetie Belle. Way to go, champ,” she said with a smirk.

“No, but I…” Button Mash began to protest.

“Ya’d think she’d be better prepared for something like that.” Apple Bloom said. “Ah mean, she’s done tha same to him.”

“I know, right?” Scootaloo replied.

“But I didn’t mean…!”

“Button Mash!” Love Tap exclaimed in a stern, maternal tone as she concealed a grin with a forehoof. “What did you do to poor Sweetie Belle?!”

“But I was just… I didn’t mean to…” Button’s eyes began to tear up as he glanced down at the white unicorn at his hooves. An oddly serene smile plastered on her face.

“Hhehh… hehh…” Button’s lower lip began to quibble as he uttered small, pained sobs.

“Here come to waterworks…” Scootaloo said as she rolled her eyes.

“Whouaa… WhouaaaWHOUAAAAHAAAAHAAAAA!”

Love Tap chuckled. “Hehehe…Button! Stop! There’s no need to cry.”

“Uh… girls?” Apple Bloom said as she noticed a green glow from the car floor. “Ah don’t think that was a good idea…”

“WHOUAAAAA…” Button suddenly ceased his wailing as Sweetie Belle rose to her hooves with a rageful, distant expression on her face, her horn glowed a bright green. “Sweetie Belle?”

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Sweetie Belle shrieked as the green light from her horn intensified accompanied by a high pitched whistle.

“Wait, Sweetie Belle, dearie,” Love Tap pleaded. “We were just…”

“PheeeeeeeePHHOOOOOOOOOM!”

A green light enveloped the cart and all its occupants, accompanied by a large explosion.

Scootaloo felt herself go airborne as she desperately tried to right herself in the scooter. She hit the ground hard and tumbled along the soft grass for a bit as pieces of wood flew past her and bounced along the ground. She eventually rolled to a stop, shortly before her scooter came to halt as its back wheel impacted one of her wings.

“OW!” Scootaloo cried as she pushed her scooter off her wing. “Why is it always the wings…” She mumbled out. She stood to her hooves and tensed her back painfully. Scootaloo grabbed her scooter and propelled it with a back hoof towards a small smoking crater. She stopped as she noticed four recently dug trenches heading away from the hole in the direction she herself had been heading.

“Whoa… are you guys alright?” Scootaloo asked as she approached the group of ponies lying in the dirt.

Apple Bloom stuck her head out of the trench that was mostly dug with her face and spit out a mound of dirt, “PHHBLEH! Remind me to never pick on Button Mash again.”

A white horn along with a dirt encrusted pink and lavender mane attached to a worried looking face poked out from one of the trenches. “Oh no, Button Mash!”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “I’m fine thanks. How are you, destroyer of worlds?”

Sweetie Belle ignored Scootaloo and bee-lined for one of the trenches. “Button! Don’t be dead! DON’T BE DEAD! I’D NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF IF…” She stopped short as she reached the end of the trench and peered in.

“Am I… am I in heaven?” Button woozily asked as he looked up at Sweetie Belle with a slightly glazed over look.

Sweetie Belle grinned pensively as her face went from white to red in an instant.

“Uh, Sweetie Belle,” Apple Bloom began, “Ah know you’re mighty protective of Button Mash. But could ya maybe stop and think about who you’re blasting before you fly off the handle next time?”

Sweetie Belle’s eyes went wide as heavy frown crushed her nervous, happy expression. “Whoops… Sorry everypony…”

“Cough… Oh, it’s okay Sweetie Belle,” Love Tap said as she rose out of her own trench and dusted her outfit off. “I completely understand.”

Sweetie Belle beamed at Love Tap as Button Mash climbed to his hooves and smiled happily at his mother.

“Now let’s get you to my house and cleaned up before your sister has even more reasons to be mad me.” Love Tap looked at her son and smiled. “And then maybe French toast for dinner?”

“YAY!” Button Mash cried as he flailed his forehooves about.

The five ponies began a slow, somewhat pained gait towards Button Mash’s and Love Tap’s house. The worries of the trouble they were likely to be in were momentarily pushed away in favor of the sweet, syrupy meal that awaited them.

Jump to top

Chapter 10: The not so Calm Before the Storm

The SweetieMash ChroniclesChapter 10: The not so Calm Before the Storm

“MoOOOoooOOM!” Button Mash whined as he attempted to swat a scrub brush away from his sopping wet mane, the act causing soapy droplets of water to go everywhere. “You already got there.”

Love Tap flashed her son a mildly frustrated look. “Well Button, if you’d just stop struggling, I wouldn’t have to keep going over places I already washed.”

“But I want to play with my friends!” Button cried.

“Well, then you better sit still and let mommy finish cleaning you!”

Button huffed out a sigh and sat in on his haunches in the bubbly bathwater. The two ponies were in the family’s bathroom. Button Mash sat in a white tub with bathwater up to his chest as his mother attempted to scrub the young colt clean with a long-handled, light blue brush. The rest of the room looked like much the rest of the house; beige painted walls with paintings of serene looking landscapes here or there and cyan drapes alongside the windows.

Love Tap continued struggling with her son to get the layer of caked dirt off of him. She had already rinsed herself off and gotten the girls clean; something she had gotten in the habit of doing if any of them showed up from one of their many ill-conceived attempts at crusading. Why can’t Button be a little more like the girls here… Well... Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom, at least. Scootaloo never makes this easy, either… I hope their guardians all appreciate it. Love Tap allowed herself a small smile. Well, I’m sure Rarity does. I mean, there’s no way she’d be happy about seeing her sister caked with dirt or with twigs and leaves stuck in her tail and mane.

Button continued to squirm and fidgeted about as Love Tap doggedly ran the scrub brush over her son’s mane in an attempt to get all the dirt out.

“Mom! You got soap in my eyes!” Button cried as he raised his forehooves and began rubbing them against his eyes.

“That’s what happens when you don’t hold still!”

“I need something to clean it out!” Button whined.

“Just close your eyes until they start watering!” Love Tap replied. “That’ll clean it out!”

“But it stiiiings!” Button moaned.

Love Tap sighed. “I’ll wet a washcloth!”

“No, mom! I want a dry cloth!”

“Sweetie, I tell you this every time! The water will help wash out the soap!”

“But then I’ll get water in my eye!” Button whined.

“Button?” Sweetie Belle’s voice cried from outside the open bathroom door. “What’s taking so long?”

Love Tap glanced up from her washing and looked towards Sweetie Belle. “Sorry, Sweetie Belle,” she called out. She turned back to her son. “Button’s being fussy!”

“Am not!” Button protested.

Love Tap raised an eyebrow and glanced at her son. “‘Fussy’ is the perfect word to describe what you’re being!”

Sweetie Belle trotted into the bathroom, focusing a quizzical look on Button Mash.

“Uh… hi, Sweetie Belle…” Button said as a slight pink tint began to enter his cheeks.

“Button!” Sweetie Belle said in a slightly chastising tone. “Stop playing up for your mom!”

“But…!”

“Do you need me to clean you?!” Sweetie Belle said. “You never put up a fight when I’m doing it...”

Button’s pink tint immediately turned red as he lowered himself into the bathwater.

“Wait…” Love Tap said. “YOU’VE washed Button before?”

“Uhhh…” Sweetie Belle’s ears flopped down around her head as her own cheeks turned a luminescent shade of red. “Well… I mean… he gets dirty sometimes when he’s uh… playing… with us…” Sweetie Belle said nervously.

Love Tap’s expression went blank. “… I take it that’s code for helping you girls on some of your cutie mark attempts.”

Sweetie Belle swallowed, “Uh… yeah…” she admitted sheepishly. She studied Love Top’s face carefully. Love Tap was a pony of many expressions, but Sweetie Belle found her poker face impossible to read.

“Uh mom, it’s okay!” Button Mash declared, eager to come to Sweetie Belle’s defense. “I mean, they were relatively safe.”

Love Tap cocked an eyebrow at her son. “And by ‘relatively’ you mean…”

“Remember that time Gibson and I played ‘superheroes’ on the roof?” Button asked.

Love Tap winced. “That’s setting the bar pretty low.”

“Oh well…” Button raised a forehoof out of the bath water and tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Remember the time Gibson tied me up with a video game controller and left me in the closet until dinner time?”

Sweetie Belle’s eyes went wide. “Wait, what?!” she shrieked out.

Love Tap glanced at Sweetie Belle, then turned back to Button. “Yes, mommy was very upset and Gibson wasn’t allowed to play video games or his guitar for a couple weeks. But that’s not really an example of something unsafe…”

“I know mom, I just meant that Sweetie Belle and her friends area lot nicer to me.”

Love Tap paused and gave her son a confused look before a she started a small giggling fit that quickly grew into a full case of laughter. “HeheheheHAHAHAHahaha…”

Button peered over at Sweetie Belle and winked at her, the young filly smiled back.

“Hahahah… Alright sweetie, mommy gets it.” Love Tap turned to Sweetie Belle. “Do you want to make sure this colt gets clean before he has his dinner?” she asked with a grin.

Sweetie Belle felt her face go warm once more at the question. “Well, uh… I mean… I can… if that’s okay with you…”

Love Tap smiled warmly at Sweetie Belle. And here I thought Rarity was cleaning Button up all those times. “Of course dearie!” She shot her son a quick unamused look. “If Button isn’t going to behave for his mother, maybe he’ll be good for somepony else…”

Button giggled nervously and nodded.

Love Tap put the scrub brush in her mouth and trotted over to Sweetie Belle. She tilted her head slightly, offering the brush to Sweetie Belle who took it with the soft green glow of her magic.

Love Tap looked back at her son. “Now you be a good boy for Sweetie Belle. Mommy needs to start on dinner.”

“Sure, mom,” Button Mash said.

The two foals followed Love Tap wit their eyes as she walked out of the bathroom and into the hallway.

Sweetie Belle turned to Button and began trotting up to him with a smile. “So, your mane’s still dirty right?”

“Uh… yeah…” Button said embarrassedly.

Sweetie Belle frowned. “What’s wrong?” Sweetie Belle puffed out her lower lip in a frown. “I said I was sorry about vaporizing the cart…”

“I know, Sweetie Belle,” Button replied.

“Like… a hundred times already.”

“I know, Sweetie Belle.”

Sweetie Belle turned away from Button Mash as she continued to talk, “I was just trying to defend you… uh… although I guess you didn’t really need it that time…”

“Uh… yeah, I know Sweetie Belle.”

Sweetie Belle motioned out with her forehooves. “… I mean, I just get so angry when I see you being teased and I just sort of stop thinking and fly off the handle…”

“Uh… Sweetie Belle?” Button asked tentatively as he raised an eyebrow.

“… and then suddenly it’s just so easy to blast everything around me with my magic! But, I really didn’t mean, to…” Sweetie Belle’s eyes opened wide as she turned back to Button Mash. “Please forgive me,” Sweetie Belle said in a somewhat-pleading tone of voice.

“Uh… you’re forgiven…” Button replied. “I mean… you kinda already told me this and I kinda already forgave you like five times already, but you’re forgiven again.” Button said with a smile.

“Oh…” Sweetie Belle uttered as her cheeks began to turn a milky pinkish color. “Right…”

“Anyhow, that’s not the problem,” Button said.

“Well, what is the problem?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Uh… I mean…” Button sheepishly rubbed the back of his head with a forehoof. “I guess it feels a little different since we’re alone…”

Sweetie Belle’s eyes widened slightly as she considered this. She swallowed. “Oh… uh… right…” Don’t worry Sweetie Belle, you’ve done this a few times… I mean… We’ve all ended up pretty dirty after a few of our crusading attempts… or if a game just got a little messier than expected. Sweetie Belle glanced up at Button and briefly looked into his big, amber eyes with her bright emerald ones before looking away. But that was always at Sweet Apple Acres with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo… We’ve never been alone together like this…

Sweetie Belle nervously forced a smile onto her face. “Don’t worry it’s no big deal,” she offered.

“If you say so…” Button replied.

Sweetie Belle trotted up to the bath and began scrubbing Button’s mane. “You worry too much.”

“Heh… sorry…” Button said in a meek, embarrassed tone. He held still as Sweetie Belle pressed the brush against his mane and started scrubbing, stoically enduring the rough scrubbing without moving.

“Geez, there’s a lot of dirt in your hair,” Sweetie Belle commented.

Button frowned. “Well… I mean… that’s not really my fault…”

Sweetie Belle narrowed her eyes slightly. “I said I was sorry! Like… a bunch of times already!”

“I know, it’s just…”

“Just, ‘what’?!” Sweetie Belle demanded squeakily.

“Well, I wouldn’t even need to be cleaned if it wasn’t for your magic explosion,” Button pointed out.

“I was trying to defend you!” Sweetie Belle declared as her voice began to raise in volume as well as pitch. “I wasn’t thinking straight!” she squeaked out.

“I know that, Sweetie Belle,” Button replied. “I’m just saying that’s what got me dirty, that’s all…”

Sweetie Belle narrowed her eyes at the young colt. She levitated the brush over to her forehooves and stood up on her hind legs against the edge of the bathtub. “Well, then I guess I better clean this all up then,” Sweetie Belle huffed out as she began roughly scrubbing Button’s mane.

“Sweetie Belle! OW!” Button cried. “Not so rough! OW!OWIE! AHHH! SLOW DOWN! THE BRISTLES! THEY’RE SCRAPING MY SCALP! AHHH! AAAHHHHHHH!”

Love Tap trotted down the stairs towards the kitchen, slightly anxious that she had left a pair of the foals unsupervised. Button Mash and Sweetie Belle aren’t too likely to cause much of a mess… well… maybe a soaking-wet bathroom, but I can deal with it. The other two, on the other hand…

‘CRASSSHHIINK!’

A pained look came upon Love Tap's face as her ears flopped down around her head and her lips curled up into a grimace that exposed her teeth. This quickly transitioned into an unamused, but understanding expression as she trotted the rest of the way to the kitchen.

“Ah told you it was too high up!” Apple Bloom called out.

“Well… I had to try…” Scootaloo said sheepishly as she stood on her hind legs on top of the kitchen counter. Her forearms were elbow-deep in a cupboard full of plates.

“Ah mean,” Apple Bloom continued, “what were ya gonna do when ya grabbed one of those in your mouth?”

“I get it, Apple Bloom,” Scootaloo huffed out.

“Aside from drop it on the floor, that is?” Apple Bloom said as she glanced at the white shards of what was once a plate that laid scattered on the blue-colored floor.

“I said, I get it!”

“Girls! What are you two doing?!” Love Tap called out as she walked into the kitchen.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo flinched like two foals just caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing… which was exactly what they were.

Scootaloo’s back hoof slipped and she frantically grabbed for something to hold onto. Unfortunately for her, the stack of plates she latched onto proved to not offer much in the way of support and Scootaloo still found herself slipping backwards.

“Scootaloo!” Apple Bloom cried out in alarm.

Love Tap rushed over to the kitchen counter as Scootaloo lost her footing. The young filly fell backwards, taking the stack of plates with her. Love Tap was there practically an instant, snatching Scootaloo out of the air with her arms before the plates cascaded towards the ground.

‘Krrraassssshhhhiiiink!’

Plates hit the ground and shattered on impact, covering the floor in shards of jagged white pieces.

Love Tap gently sat Scootaloo on the ground.

“Uh… thanks… Button’s mom… ma'am…” Scootaloo said in a weak, worried tone.

Love Tap said nothing and gave Scootaloo a stern look.

Scootaloo gulped and edged back slight. Geez, she’s scary when she’s angry. “I’m sorry…” Scootaloo said. “I didn’t mean to!”

“What where you doing up there anyway!?” Love Tap demanded.

“I was just trying to get some plates down for dinner…” Scootaloo admitted meekly. “And then… I guess… everything was too high up… I’m… I’m really sorry…” Scootaloo said.

Love Tap’s expression softened slightly at Scootaloo’s apology.

“Sorry, ma'am,” Apple Bloom interjected. “We were just trying to help.”

Love Tap looked at Apple Bloom, then Scootaloo, then the counter, and finally back to Apple Bloom. “I’m guessing Scootaloo didn’t get up there all by herself?”

Apple Bloom shook her head. “No, ma'am…”

Love Tap shook her head and smiled. “Alright, girls. I guess I can’t get too mad at you for trying to help.”

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom breathed a sigh of relief.

“Just ask before trying to help next time, alright?” Love Tap said.

The two fillies nodded. “Yes, ma'am!” they said in unison.

Love Tap smiled warmly at the two. “Now, there’s a broom and a dust pan in the closet just down the hall, why don’t you two help clean this up then you can help me cook.”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo nodded and bolted out of the kitchen.

“I can’t believe she’s not going to punish us, or anything,” Scootaloo said. “Man, Button’s mom is nice… scary, but nice…”

“She probably thinks we’re in enough trouble as it is,” Apple Bloom pointed out.

Scootaloo winced. “Uh… yeah… good point. Uh… thanks for sharing the blame with me back there.”

“No problem,” Apple Bloom said. “Crusaders help one another…”

Scootaloo smiled and nodded.

The two fillies reached the closet and sat down in front of it.

“Anyway,” Apple Bloom said, “it seemed like a good idea at first.”

Scootaloo chuckled. “Hehe… yeah…”

“Ah mean, before you actually got onto the counter…” Apple Bloom replied. “Then it seemed like a bad idea.”

“I get it, Apple Bloom.”

“Well, you didn’t while you were actually up there…”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Let’s just get the stupid broom…”

‘KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!’

The two fillies flinched as their eyes went wide. They slowly turned towards the front door of the home.

Apple Bloom was the first to speak up, “Or we can run and hide somewhere…”

Scootaloo nodded nervously. “I, too, was going to suggest we hide...”

From down the hall, Love Tap poked her head out of the kitchen. “Uh, girls? Why don’t you go upstairs while I see what this is all about?”

Scootaloo flashed Love Tap a skeptical look. “Uh, I think we all know what this is about.”

“Scootaloo!” Apple Bloom said in a chastising tone. “Let’s just head up and let Button’s mom answer the door.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Scootaloo replied as she began to gallop away towards the stairs.

Apple Bloom looked at Love Tap with a worried look on her face. “Uh… good luck, ah guess…”

Love Tap smiled at Apple Bloom. “Thank you, but I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“If ya say so…” Apple Bloom said in an unsure tone as she trotted towards the stairs.

The girls gone, Love Tap let her happy smile slip into the dark black depths of dread and worry as she swallowed. She had kept herself and everyone in the house busy to keep their minds off what was sure to come. Okay, in hindsight… helping minors blow a hole in the school was probablynot a great idea… But I couldn’t just let one of Button’s good friends suffer like that after helping him… Especially not Sweetie Belle. Well… at least I got my point across in a fairly clear, if loud and somewhat dangerous manner…

‘KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!’

Love Tap flinched at the sounds of more forceful knocking at the door. I hope Cheerilee is really as soft-hoofed as I think she is otherwise, this could be bad for everypony…

Love Tap trotted over to the door, and reached for the knob.

“Sweeeeetieeee Beeelleeee!” Button moaned as the white unicorn continued to practically assault his mane. “You’re hurting me!”

“Well if you’d just hold still, this would be over already!”

“Ow! OWIE! AHHHH! OW!” Button cried under the unrelenting scrub brush assault.

Sweetie Belle finally dropped the brush to the floor below. “THERE, you big baby. You’re all clean!” she huffed out.

Button stared at Sweetie Belle with large, hurt, almost betrayed-looking eyes that began to fill with tears as he tried to choke back sobs. “Hehhh… Hwouaa…”

Sweetie Belle’s lower lip began to quiver as she looked back at the young colt. What have I done? “Shhhh…” she said softly. “It’s alright, Button Mash… please don’t cry,” she said as her ears flopped down around her head. “I’m sorry I got mad at you… it’s not your fault.”

Button Mash attempted to put a lid on his soft sobbing before it turned into loud wailing. “Snnnnifff… really?” he asked hopefully.

Sweetie Belle nodded. “Yeah… I’m just a little… scared about what’s going to happen to everypony.”

Button Mash paused and took a couple soft, calming breaths. “Yeah… me, too…” he admitted. He gave a small, wry grin. “At least we’re all in way more trouble than you…”

Sweetie Belle giggled, “Hehehe… yeah…” She looked at Button with soft, happy smile and extended her arms, leaning forward to grab Button and pull him into a tight, wet embrace at the edge of the tub.

Button’s eyes widened slightly at the unexpected affection, but he quickly recovered and wrapped his soaking wet arms around Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle turned her head and placed her muzzle inches away from Button’s ear. “Thanks for coming to save me,” she whispered as she tightened her grip around the young colt.

Button Mash’s cheeks began to glow with a pinkish hue as he also tightened his grip. “Uh, no problem, Sweetie Belle…”

“Hey, Button Mash?” Sweetie Belle said as she loosened her grip and leaned back so she look at Button

“Uh… yeah, Sweetie Belle?” Button said nervously.

“There’s something I want to tell you…”

“Sa… sure Sweetie Belle…” Button said nervously.

Sweetie Belle’s face began to redden as she locked her light emerald eyes with the young colt’s amber ones. Ahh… crud… am I really going to do this? I mean… I haven’t thought about what I’m supposed to say or anything… What if it comes out all wrong, or sounds really stupid… And he’s just lookingback at me with those, big pretty eyes… gosh he’s so…THAT’S IT!

Sweetie Belle smiled. “I think you’re really cute.”

The redness in Button’s cheeks increased as he allowed the hints of a grin unto his face. “Ra… really…?”

Sweetie Belle nodded, her own cheeks having turned a luminescent shade of red. “Yeah…”

“There’s something I want to tell you, too,” Button said.

“Uh…uh-huh?” Sweetie Belle said nervously.

Button nodded. “Well, we’ve been spending a lot of time together… and I… uh… I sort of realized…”

Sweetie Belle gulped. Uh oh… which direction is he going to go with this?! Please say good. PLEASE SAY GOOD!

“… I realized that I really li… erm… that I really like…”

Sweetie Belle began to grin. “Yeaaaah…?” she said hopefully.

“That I…”

“GUYS! GUYS! THE SHINY FUZZ IS HERE! YOU HAVE TO HIDE!”

“WHAAAA!” Button cried as he fell backwards into the tub, grabbing Sweetie Belle for support.

“AIEEEEEE!” Sweetie Belle shrieked as she jumped slightly from the interruption and was pulled forward.

‘SPLASH!’

“Ooooh!” Scootaloo uttered from the doorway. “Good thinking! They’ll never look for you two there!”

Sweetie Belle emerged from the water and glared out over the edge of the tub at Scootaloo. “Scootaloo, what the hay?!”

“You kiss your sister with that filthy mouth?” Scootaloo replied.

“Ghaa! Help! I’m drowning!” Button cried as he flailed about in the couple-feet deep-bathwater.

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes and with a green glow of her horn, Button was upright once more. “You’re luckyyou’re cute…” she muttered under her breath.

“Phew… thanks Sweetie Belle,” Button said. He paused. “What’s a ‘shiny fuzz’?”

“She means the Royal Guard,” Sweetie Belle explained.

“WHAT?!” Button cried. “OH NO!” he cried as he immediately dove under the water.

Sweetie Belle looked back at Scootaloo with a panicky expression. “Wait… the Royal Guard actually showed up?! I knew we’d get in trouble, but not THAT much…”

“Or it’s just Cheerilee…” Scootaloo said with a shrug. “I didn’t really stick around to look.”

“SCOOTALOO!” Sweetie Belle cried as she reached her forearm into the bathwater and lifted Button back out.

The young colt spit out a stream of water and began to hack and cough.

“Either way,” Scootaloo continued, “I really don’t want to be the first one they find… can I hide in there with you?”

Sweetie Belle narrowed her eyes. “NO!” she squeaked out as a green glow enveloped the bathroom door as it slammed shut.

‘SLAM!’

‘CLICK!’

Scootaloo puffed out her lower lip has her eyes went wide with fright. She stood up on her hind legs and tried the knob, it held in place despite her frantic attempts to turn it. “Sweetie Belle! LET ME IN!”

“GET YOUR OWN HIDING PLACE!” Sweetie Belle yelled through the door.

Apple Bloom trotted up the stairs. “Scootaloo, what are ya doin’?”

“Sweetie Belle and Button Mash are hiding in the bathroom!” Scootaloo said. “I wanted to hide with them, too!”

“Hide in the bathroom?” Apple Bloom said. “Look, I know we’re all in a mess o’ trouble, but that don’t mean—”

“WHAT THE BUCKIN’ HAY?!” The pair heard Cheerilee’s angry roar from below.

Panic gripped Apple Bloom’s face like an angry wolverine defending its territory as she glanced back down the stairs. “—We should ABSOLUTELY hide in the strangest, most out-of-the-way place we can find!” she declared.

Scootaloo nodded. “Come on! There’s a toy chest in Button Mash’s room!”

“Good idea!” Apple Bloom said as the pair galloped down the hall.

‘SLAM!’

‘CLICK!’

Sweetie Belle sighed to herself as she slammed the door and locked it.

“Sweetie Belle! LET ME IN!” Scootaloo cried through the door

“GET YOUR OWN HIDING PLACE!” Sweetie Belle yelled back.

“Sweet… Sweetie Belle?” Button stammered out. “Do yo… do you think my mom will be okay?”

Sweetie Belle turned to Button and smiled warmly as water dripped off her soaked mane. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. Your mom is the toughest mare I know, I mean… I don’t know of anypony scarier than—”

“WHAT THE BUCKIN’ HAY?!” The pair heard Cheerilee’s angry roar from below.

The pairs pupils shrank to pinpricks at the sound of their teacher angrily shouting from down below. They turned and stared into each other’s equally terrified-looking eyes.

“Sweetie Belle?” Button said. “I’m scared… hold me?” the young colt asked.

Sweetie Belle nodded. “Only…” Sweetie Belle gulped, “Only if you hold me back!”

“Deal!” Button cried.

The two foals quickly wrapped their arms around each other and held each other close in the small pool of warm water. Terrified of the fate that awaited them, but finding comfort in each other’s trembling arms.

Jump to top

Chapter 11: Storm Cheerilee

The SweetieMash ChroniclesChapter 11: Storm Cheerilee

Love Tap trotted over to the door, and reached for the knob. She attempted to force a natural expression even as the gravity of what she had help do started to weigh down on her. She placed her hoof on the knob and heard a quiet jingle as her shaking hoof touched metal. She raised her free hoof and put it on her arm to calm her shaking somewhat. She took a deep breath and opened the door.

Unsurprisingly, but no less jarring, Cheerilee stood on her porch and leveled a scowl that seemed like it might very well melt solid steel. What was surprising was that Rarity was standing behind Cheerilee. Her presence helped calm Love Tap a bit and added great credence to the idea that she wouldn’t be spending the evening in jail… probably.

Love Tap forced an earnest smile despite the fiery glare that was being leveled at her. “Hello, Cheerilee, Rarity,” Love Tap said as she nodded politely at both mares. “What brings you here this fine evening?” she said as she attempted to sound as natural as possible.

Cheerilee rolled her eyes. “Oh, you know. Rarity and I were just in the neighborhood and she’s told me so much about you, so I figured I’d just stop by and ask ‘WHAT THE BUCKIN’ HAY?!" Cheerilee roared angrily as Love Tap’s ears flopped down and her calm countenance cracked instantly under the scream.

“Uh…” Love Tap frantically searched for a response. “Wha… why would you want to ask me something like that?” Love Tap replied as she smiled nervously.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because you helped BLOW A HOLE IN MY SCHOOLHOUSE?!” Cheerilee answered as she pushed past Love Tap and stormed into the tan mare’s home.

Love Tap shot a nervous, pleading glance at Rarity and motioned with her eyes for her friend to come inside.

Rarity flashed an expression that all but screamed ‘you owe me big-time’ and wordlessly walked inside the house, standing to the side of Cheerilee and Love Tap.

“Sa… someone blew a hole in the schoolhouse?!” Love Tap cried in the best surprised tone she could manage. “That’s terrib—”

“DON’T YOU PLAY DUMB WITH ME, MISSY!” Cheerilee roared as she pushed her face up against Love Tap’s. “I know Sweetie Belle’s friends were involved. No one else would cry”—Cheerilee rolled her eyes—“ ‘CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS JAIL BREAKERS, YAY!’ before blowing a hole in the school.”

Love Tap winced. I probably should have explained to the girls the value of being discreet before we set off. Love Tap sniffed the air and scrunched her muzzle up. “Have you… have you been drinking?”

“Don’t change the subject!” Cheerilee said quickly. “Also yes… BUT THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!”

“Well...” Love Tap began, “… I mean, you’re probably not thinking with a clear head, so…”

“YOU HELPED BLOW A HOLE IN THE SCHOOLHOUSE WITH FIREWORKS!” Cheerilee screamed. “I wouldn’t be thinking with a ‘clear head’ if Celestia herself flew down from her ivory tower and bestowed me with perfect, magical clarity!”

“Uh… What makes you think I had anything to do with this?”

Cheerilee narrowed her eyes at Love Tap. “I saw someone wearing a familiar looking hat flee the scene. Also, Rarity suggested you might do something drastic since your son was involved in the fight that got Sweetie Belle in trouble anyway.”

Love Tap knitted her brow slightly and shot a glance at Rarity who shot a slightly irate look back. Love Tap’s lips dropped ever so slightly into a frown. Alright, I guess I can’t be mad at Rarity for knowing me well enough to predict I might try something… I mean, there’s a good chance she’s the reason it’s just her and Cheerilee at my house and not Lady Justice…

Cheerilee continued, “I can understand feeling protective for a child in one’s care. Though, I never dreamed one of my student’s parents would encourage and aid in such reckless behavior.”

Love Tap’s nervous worried expression suddenly shifted as she felt a tinge of anger well up inside her at the reminder of what had caused her to react so rashly in the first place. “Well maybe there wouldn’t be a hole in the side of the school if you just let Sweetie Belle off! She was only trying to protect someone she cared about!”

Rarity’s eyes went wide as she quickly stood on her back legs and waved her arms back and forth in front of her in a desperate bid to get Love Tap to back down.

Cheerilee narrowed her eyes further. “Actually, Rarity convinced me to do just that before the fireworks went off.”

As quickly as her anger came, Love Tap felt it flow out of her like someone letting all the air out of a balloon. Oops… “Uh… well she shouldn’t have been punished in the first place!” she quickly said as she attempted to keep some footing in the argument. “Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon torment those three relentlessly from what I’m told! And to think they’d even verbally abuse my poor Button Mash…”

Rarity smacked a fore hoof against her face.

Cheerilee eyed Love Tap suspiciously. “You know an awful lot about what happened for a somepony who was claiming ignorance just a little bit ago.”

Love Tap’s eyes widened. Double oops…

“Still,” Cheerilee begin, “I suppose I can’t prove you we’re involved, and I already have a hoofful of culprits, so…” she trailed off as she kept a close eye on Love Tap.

Love Tap recaptured her previously released anger and directed it at Cheerilee. “Hey! Now that’s just playing dirty!”

“How exactly is punishing someone for what they’ve done ‘playing dirty’?” Cheerilee asked.

Love Tap cringed. Uhg… why does this whole thing have to feel like I’m back in school again being grilled for something my teachers are only ‘pretty sure’ I was involved in?! Of coursethey were usually right… I guess it’s likely the kids won’t receive any punishment that’s too severe, but I can’t in good conscious just let them take the brunt of something I had a hoof in. She sighed, and looked at Rarity. “Please tell me Lady Justice or some other law pony isn’t hiding outside to take me to jail…”

Rarity smiled. “It’s just the three of us, dearie.”

Love Tap scrunched her lips towards the side of her face. “Alright, I admit it. The kids didn’t act alone…”

Cheerilee’s angry expression began to soften slightly. “There, was that so hard?”

Love Tap narrowed her eyes at Cheerilee. “Yesss,” she hissed out.

Cheerilee took a few calming breaths. “Now that that is out of the way… WHY THE BUCK DID YOU THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO BLOW A HOLE IN THE SIDE OF THE SCHOOLHOUSE?!”

“I’m sorry, okay!” Love Tap exclaimed. “One of my children was bullied, and the pony who defended him got in trouble for it! I couldn’t just let it go!”

“Well you could have, I don’t know, talked to me about how you felt instead of resorting to high explosives!” Cheerilee cried.

“Oh, I don’t know…” Love Tap replied as she smirked. “I thought it communicated the message of how I felt quite well, actually…”

Cheerilee flashed Love Tap a rageful glare as she suddenly pulled her forehoof back.

Rarity’s eyes went wide as she quickly inserted herself in between the irate mares. “Uh… how about we keep things to a nice, if energetic, discussion instead of resorting to blows. I don’t think anypony here wants to resort to violence.”

“Oh, I think I do…” Cheerilee said as she glared at Love Tap.

Love Tap smirked. “Works for me.”

“GIRLS!” Rarity said more forcefully as she glanced between the two mares and stomped a hoof on the floor. “Need I remind you both that there are foals in the house and indoor roughhousing is sure to draw their attention as well as set a bad example for them?”

Love Tap and Cheerilee broke eye contact and sheepishly looked away from each other.

Rarity smiled. “That’s better.” She turned towards Love Tap. “Now Love Tap, dearie, I’m sure we can all agree that breaking Sweetie Belle out of detention via the use of fireworks on the school house was a little bit extreme."

“A little?!” Cheerilee exclaimed.

Rarity shot Cheerilee a quick scowl that silenced the mare.

Love Tap huffed out a sigh before she replied with a, “Sorry, Ms. Cheerilee…”

Cheerilee’s eyes widened slightly. Well that was odd. I’ve never had a parent talk to me as if they were one of my students... Maybe she didn’t have the best experience when she was in school… It might explain why… “Uh look… I get the whole ‘wanting to defend your kids’ part of this… I mean… my students mean the world to me. Since you’re sorry, I’m sure we can work out something…”

Love Tap sighed. “You’re going to make me fix it, aren’t you?”

“You and the children,” Cheerilee clarified.

Love Tap uttered a defeated and frustrated, “Uhg!” She stared back at Cheerilee with a grumpy expression. “Fine!”

Rarity smiled. “See! Isn’t that better than going to jail?”

“Marginally…” Love Tap said. “Only because Button would be heartbroken if I got hauled off somewhere.”

Cheerilee smiled and produced a small white sheet with something scrawled upon it and handed it to Love Tap. “There, this describes the extent of the damages.”

Love Tap narrowed her eyes at the sheet. “This is just a crude sketch of the school with a smoking hole in the side that reads ‘THEY BLEW A HOLE IN THE BUCKING SCHOOL!’ drawn on a cocktail napkin.”

“Sorry, dearie.” Rarity offered, “I offered to provide a more suitable medium for Cheerilee to record her damages, but she insisted she was ‘in the zone’.”

Love Tap cocked an eyebrow. “Like, a bottle of wine worth into it?”

Cheerilee narrowed her eyes at Love Tap. “Three glasses…” she qualified somewhat indignantly. She began to trot towards the door. “Now if you’ll both excuse me, I have to be at school extra early to supervise repairs.” She turned back at Love Tap and smiled. “See you, and all four of the foals, there!”

Love Tap rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah…” She quickly murmured. “I hate getting up early…” under her breath.

Cheerilee merely smiled to herself as she trotted out the door—

“WAH!”

--and missed her footing on the porch steps and went tumbling to the ground.

Love Tap snickered to herself as Rarity poked her head outside with a concerned look on her face. “Are you alright, darling? Do you need any help getting home?”

“I’m FINE!” Cheerilee declared as she raised herself back to her hooves and continued woozily walking away from the house.

Love Tap trotted over to the door and shut it. She turned to Rarity with a thankful look in her eyes. “Thanks Rarity, I kinda lost my head there for a moment…”

Rarity cocked an eyebrow. “When you decided it was a good idea to blow a hole in the side of the school, or when you were willing to get in a fight with Cheerilee in your own home?”

Love Tap’s cheeks flushed crimson. “Sorry…” she said sheepishly. “I lose my head a bit when it comes to my children and their friends…”

Rarity smiled. “Quite alright, dearie.” Rarity gave Love Tap a very serious look. “Still, Cheerilee is definitely still a bit miffed at what you’ve done.”

Love Tap chuckled. “You don’t say?”

“Quite,” Rarity said with a smile. “Though, I have a feeling she might be a tad more forgiving to the children since you were involved…”

Love Tap gave herself a small smile. “Well, I guess it’s not so bad, then.” She looked back at Rarity. “I suppose I owe you a few bottles of wine and a few lunches.”

Rarity giggled. “I suppose I can accept a few gratuities for keeping Cheerilee from running to somepony who would drag you and the children away to answer a few questions.” Rarity’s smile dropped ever so slightly. “Speaking of which, where are the children? I haven’t heard a peep out of any of them since I got here.”

“Oh, they're probably all hiding upstairs.” Love Tap frowned. “Gee… I hope Button still isn’t in the bathtub…”

Rarity flashed Love Tap a concerned look as the two mares started trotting into the house. “You just left your son alone in the bathtub? That’s concerning.”

Love Tap shook her head. “Sweetie Belle said she’d clean him.”

Rarity stopped dead in her tracks. “That’s just more concerning.”

Love Tap chuckled. “It’s alright, apparently she’s done it before.”

“Really?” Rarity said in mild disbelief. “I guess there isn’t a lot of expertise required to clean somepony else, but Sweetie Belle can’t even make orange juice without burning it! I mean… I love her with all my heart, but do you really want to trust your son in the hands of a clumsy, scatterbrained filly?”

Love Tap smiled. “Relax! They’re adorable together!” she insisted as she continued walking towards the stairs, Rarity following. “And it sounds like cleaning Button is pretty safe compared to some of the other activities she’s dragged him into.”

Rarity tittered. “Hehe, I suppose I can’t disagree with you there.”

The two mares trotted up to the bathroom and Love Tap tried to open the door. The knob held in place and Love Tap frowned. “Hmmm… locked.” She rapped on the door lightly with a forehoof. “Sweetie Belle, Button Mash? Are you two alright?”

“Uhhh… Tha…that depends,” Sweetie Belle stammered out from behind the door. “Is Ms. Cheerilee gone?”

“She’s gone!” Love Tap assured. “You can unlock the door, now!”

Button’s voice chimed in. “Are you… are you being held at spearpoint and being forced to tell us this?”

“OH! Good question!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed.

Rarity giggled to herself quietly.

“No, sweetie,” Love Tap assured.

“Gunpoint?” Button continued.

“Certainly not.”

“… Laser-rifle point?”

“Laser-rifles don’t exist, sweetie,” Love Tap replied.

“… Magic-powered laser-rifles?”

Love Tap rolled her eyes. “Button, there are no armed ponies here that are trying to trick me into getting you to unlock the door.”

“… What about griffons?”

Love Tap sighed and smacked a forehoof against her forehead. “There are no armed or unarmed any things out here that are forcing me to ask to have the door unlocked.”

“Oh, well that rules out donkeys trained in bare-hoofed combat…” Button said. “I guess you can unlock the door now, Sweetie Belle.”

The door knob glowed a faint green as a quiet click was heard. Love Tap turned the knob and gently pushed open the door. “There, you two can come… OH MY CELESTIA!” Love Tap exclaimed as she glanced inside.

“What is it?” Rarity said with concern as she poked her head into the bathroom.

Sweetie Belle’s eyes went wide as she saw her sister. “Eeep!” she cried before she plunged herself under the water.

‘Splash!’

“Hi Ma… om. Hi Ra-Rarity,” Button mash stuttered from the bathtub.

“Are you two hiding in the bathtub together?!” Love Tap cried in disbelief.

“Uh… yeah, ma…mom.” Button replied. “Can we come out now? The water is getting cold…”

“Just a second, sweetie,” Love Tap said. “Let me go get my camera…” she uttered before trotting out the door.

Rarity and Button Mash stared at each other as a pregnant pause slowly began to give birth to an awkward silence punctuated by the odd bubble from the tub.

Button decided to speak up first. “So uh… what’s the sitch?”

Rarity cocked her head to the side. “‘Sitch’?”

“‘Situation’.”

“Ah, yes, very clever,” Rarity replied. “Erm… Cheerilee is making you all fix the hole in the school, including your mother.”

“Oh… well… I guess that’s not so bad,” Button Mash said.

Rarity nodded. “Button, darling? Would you be a dear and pull my sister out of the water before she drowns herself?”

Button’s eyes went wide as he dove for the water. “Sweetie Belle! Don’t do it! You have so much to live for!” He quickly pulled Sweetie Belle out of the water.

Sweetie Belle gasped for breath and began breathing heavily. “Huff… puff… Do I—” Sweetie Belle swallowed “–Did I get a cutie mark in holding my breath?”

“Uuuh…” Button Mash leaned his head over. “I can’t tell…”

Love Tap walked in and began wordlessly snapping photos of the two young foals with a camera about the size of one of her forehooves.

‘Click.’

Sweetie Belle raised her flank out of the bathtub. “What about now?”

‘Click.’

Button Mash examined Sweetie Belle’s flank carefully. “Uh, still nothing…”

‘Click.’

“Rats!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed.

“Taking a few mementos, dearie?” Rarity asked Love Tap.

Love Tap nodded. “Also blackmail for when Button is being really difficult as a teenager. You should see some of the pictures I have of his older brother.”

“Eeep!” Sweetie Belle cried again as she glanced at her sister once more. She dove back into the bubbly shallows of the bath.

‘Splash!’

Rarity smiled and rolled her eyes. “Button, darling. Can you pull my sister’s ears out of the water, please?”

Button nodded. “Sure, Rarity,” he said as he reached down and lifted the young filly's ears out of the shallow water.

“Sweetie, dearie?” Rarity said. “I’m not mad at you.”

Sweetie Belle poked her head up out of the water, allowing her big, emerald eyes to just peek up over the tub’s edge. “You’re not?”

Rarity shook her head. “In fact, I’m proud of you for sticking up for one of your dear friends.”

Sweetie Belle’s face lit up. “You are?!”

Rarity nodded as her face turned ever so slightly more serious. “Just try to defuse these situations with words and not violence next time, okay? I’m fairly certain I’d have to tell mother and father if you pummeled a couple of other foals or shot them with raw, magical energy.”

Sweetie Belle’s cheeks turned a slightly-pinkish color. “Uh… right…” she said with a pensive smile.

“Here,” Love Tap said as she set down the camera. “Let me rinse you two off and get you dried before you catch a cold.” Love Tap trotted up to the bathtub.

Rarity smiled at Love Tap. “Well, it seems like you have everything well in hoof here. I’ll be excusing myself, now.”

Love Tap frowned. “Can’t you stay for dinner?”

Rarity shook her head. “I’m afraid I have a large order I need to get back to. I’ll have to take a raincheck this time.”

Love Tap smiled and nodded as she began draining the tub water. “I understand. I’ll meet up with you for lunch sometime soon, alright?”

Rarity nodded. “Of course, dearie. Oh, and Sweetie Belle.”

“Yes, Rarity?”

“Don’t stay out too late, you have to be up early to help rebuild the hole in the school.”

Sweetie Belle frowned. “But I didn’t even do that!” she said squeakily.

Rarity smiled and shrugged. “Sorry, darling, but I think I’ve smoothed over as much of this as I can with Cheerilee already.”

Sweetie Belle sighed, “I understand…”

Button Mash smiled and put an arm around Sweetie Belle’s shoulders. “Cheer up, Sweetie Belle! At least we’ll be able to fix the school together!”

Sweetie Belle blushed slightly as she looked away from Button. “Yeah, I guess so…” she said with a small smile.

In a flash, Love Tap picked up her camera once more.

‘Click.’

Rarity chuckled. “Oh! And do give Apple Bloom and Scootaloo my regards.”

Love Tap, Button Mash, and Sweetie Belle all paused and exchanged concerned glances as they remembered the other pair of fillies were also hiding somewhere out of sight.

“Uh… Scootaloo and Apple Bloom…” Sweetie Belle uttered. “Riiight…”

“Do ya think it’s safe?” Apple Bloom asked in the darkness of the closed toy chest.

“Can we even risk it?” Scootaloo replied. “You heard how mad Cheerilee was.”

“Uh… good point… Ah just hope someone lets us know when the coast is clear. I got some of Button’s blocks jammed against ma’ flank and need to go to the bathroom, really, really bad!”

Scootaloo sighed. “There’s an entire train set jammed in my wings.”

“…”

“…”

“Hey, Apple Bloom…”

“Yeah, Scoots?”

“How long do you think we’ll be stuck in here?”

“Uh… Ah mean, we’re not really stuck… We can leave whenever we want.”

“Well, about that… I tried the lid a few times and it seems we’re actually locked in, so…”

“WHAT?!” Apple Bloom cried.

“So anyway… I mean… on the off chance we’re stuck in here so long one of us dies… do you think it’d be a good idea to agree whoever is still alive can eat the other one? You know… that way at least one of us should live long enough to be rescued.”

Apple Bloom paused. “… SOMEPONY HELP US!” she cried out.

“Ouch! Not so loud!” Scootaloo cried. “I mean… I’m sure we won’t be in here long enough that one of us dies… just… you know… in case we are…”

“HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLP!”

Jump to top

Chapter 12: Rebuild: You can (not) make amends

The SweetieMash ChroniclesChapter 12: Rebuild: You can (not) make amends

“Now why the hay would Ah taste like apples?!” Apple Bloom cried.

“Well, I mean… it’s in your name…” Scootaloo replied.

“That don’t mean it’s how I’m flavored! Why do you keep even bringing this up?”

“…I’m hungry.”

“Oh for Celestia’s sake… HEEEEEELLLLPPP!” Apple Bloom shouted.

“OUCH! Stop it!” Scootaloo said. “I’m sure they’ll come looking for us soon.”

“If they haven’t all been dragged away, ya mean!”

“It’ll be fine!” Scootaloo insisted. “I mean, all we heard was Cheerilee scream a bunch of times. It’s not like anyone broke the door down to the bathroom.”

“Maybe Sweetie Belle and Button Mash are still stuck, too!” Apple Bloom sighed, “They’re so lucky…”

“Why would they be lucky?” Scootaloo asked.

“Well, they’re stuck in a room with a toilet for one.”

“…”

“…”

“… I bet Sweetie Belle tastes like marshmallows…” Scootaloo uttered.

“Seriously, what’s up with you and wanting to eat your friends?”

“I already told you! I’m hungry!”

“Well it’s weird! Ah mean, have ya ever thought about what you might taste like?”

“WHAT?! Ew! Gross! Why would I do that?!”

“…I bet you taste like chicken…” Apple Bloom said.

“YOU TAKE THAT BACK!” Scootaloo cried.

“Well, Ah thought we should talk about it… Ah mean, we earth ponies are stronger and more resilient than other ponies, so chances are… Ah mean… if we’re here long enough that one of us dies in here…”

Scootaloo paused and thought about this. “… HEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLPPPP!”

“Ow! That is loud!”

“Just shut up and help me scream for help!” Scootaloo said.

“Hehehehe…”

“… Did you just giggle?” Scootaloo asked.

“Wasn’t me,” Apple Bloom said.

“… Is somepony out there?” Scootaloo asked.

“Hehehe… Noooooo~!”

“SWEETIE BELLE!” The two trapped ponies cried in unisons.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!” A chorus of laughter erupted from outside.

“What… everypony?!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.

“Oh man…” Scootaloo uttered.

There was the sound of a soft ‘click’ followed by the lid to the chest being opened up. Soon Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were staring into Button Mash’s smiling face as the young colt attempted to stifle his laughter.

“Hi… heh… Scootaloo. Hi… hehe… Apple… heh… Apple… HeheheAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!” Button Mash fell onto his back and began rolling on the floor laughing.

Scootaloo shot him an unamused look before looking up into the room at Sweetie Belle and Love Tap.Tthe former was trying to hide a giant grin and the latter had a camera pulled up to her face.

‘Click!’

Scootaloo gave both Love Tap and Sweetie Belle the same expression she had given Button Mash. “How long have you three been listening?”

“Hehehe… Sorry girls,” Love Tap said as she lowered the camera, revealing a large grin. “We actually rushed in when we first heard you cry for help, but when we heard what you two were talking about we couldn’t help but listen in.”

Scootaloo began to remove the train and train tracks from her wings as Apple Bloom looked out with an indignant expression. “Scootaloo was the one who brought it up! I jus’ wanted to get out!”

“Pffft… whatever…” Scootaloo said dismissively as she rapidly flapped her wings and sent train tracks flying in all directions. “You were the one who figured would be eating me if we were trapped for too long.”

Sweetie Belle continued chuckling to herself as Button picked himself off the floor with a happy smile on his face. “So what do you think I’d taste like?” he asked the two fillies in the box.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom exchanged a quick confused glance.

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow as she looked back at Button Mash. “You want us to tell you what we think you’d taste like if you died and we were forced to eat you to keep alive?”

Button Mash nodded his head up and down enthusiastically.

“… Just checking…” Scootaloo muttered.

“Uh… chocolate?” Apple Bloom suggested.

“Horse?” Scootaloo said with a shrug.

Love Tap and Sweetie Belle continued giggling to themselves as Button Mash shot Apple Bloom and Scootaloo a blank expression. “I don’t get it,” he said flatly.

“Oh, whatever,” Scootaloo said. “Just help us out.”

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom each held out an arm. Button Mash hooked his own arms with the pair and attempted to pull them back as they both tried to climb out of the toy box. Almost immediately, the toy box tipped forward spilling Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and a heap of toys on top of Button Mash.

“Whoa…”

“Eeek!”

“AAAAH!” Button began flailing his hooves about as he laid under girls and his random assortment of toys. “Help! I’ve been buried alive! I think we’re all trapped in an avalanche of my things, girls!”

Scootaloo looked down at Button. “Uh… I think you’re overreacting just a tad there, buddy.”

“No… it’s okay girls…” Button said as he swallowed. “I want you two to know it’s okay if you two need to eat me for the good of the group,” Button declared with a serious expression.

Apple Bloom turned to Scootaloo. “Is he serious?” she asked.

“I have no idea…” Scootaloo replied.

Love Tap simply chuckled to herself as she snapped another photo.

‘Click!’

“Hey! Get off of him!” Sweetie Belle squeaked out as she rushed forward.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes and pulled herself from the mass of foals and toys.

Apple Bloom also stepped out of the toy pile Sweetie Belle ran up to Button Mash. She immediately began fussing over the young colt as she hooked her forearm around his and pulled him out of the mass of toys.

“Apple Bloom and I are fine, thanks for asking!” Scootaloo said sarcastically.

“Are you okay?” Sweetie Belle asked as she helped Button Mash up to his hooves.

Button left his arm hooked around Sweetie Belle’s as he smiled. He looked deep into Sweetie Belle’s emerald eyes with his amber ones. “Yes, thanks to you.”

“…What?” Scootaloo said flatly as she watched the two foals.

“It’s fine…” Sweetie Belle insisted as a small smile and a light pink hue entered her cheeks. “You would have done the same for me.”

Button nodded as he reached for one of Sweetie Belle’s forehooves with his own. “Anytime…” he whispered out.

“No, seriously!” Scootaloo cried. “What?”

“Uh, guys?” Apple Bloom said. “Ah don’t think being buried in toys is that big of a deal.”

‘Click!’

“Oh, Button Mash!” Sweetie Belle cried.

“Oh, Sweetie Belle!” Button Mash responded.

The two foals leaned forward, wrapped their arms around each other, and began snickering before both of them erupted into fits of laughter. “…hehehehehehahahaHAHAHAHAHA…!”

Scootaloo sighed. “They’re messing with us!”

“Ya sound almost disappointed,” Apple Bloom pointed out.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” she said dismissively.

Love Tap chuckled as she lowered her camera. “Alright everypony, we have a big day ahead of us. Ms. Cheerilee gave me a damage toll. Let’s go downstairs for dinner and sort out what we need to do.”

Scootaloo furrowed her brow at the napkin in front of her as Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom sat to either side of her and quickly scarfed down French toast.

“Uhh… Mrs. Button’s mom, ma’am?” Scootaloo called out.

Love Tap swallowed the bit of food in her mouth. “Yes, Scootaloo?”

“This isn’t really a ‘damage toll’, is it?” Scootaloo asked.

Love Tap shook her head. “No, it isn’t,” she admitted.

“It is, in fact, a poorly drawn sketch of the school with an equally poorly drawn hole in it, isn’t it?”

Love Tap nodded. “Yes, that’s correct.”

Scootaloo sighed. “Pony feathers…” she mumbled to herself as she slumped back in her seat.

“How do you think I felt?” Love Tap said. “That’s exactly what Ms. Cheerilee handed me.”

Sweetie Belle looked at the napkin and frowned. “Ms. Cheerilee drew that? Did she draw it with her flank?”

The table erupted into a series of giggles.

“Hehehe…Sweetie Belle!” Love Tap said in a chastising tone as she made a half-hearted attempt to hide her grin. “That’s not appropriate!” Love Tap’s smile dropped as her face went serious. “I’d imagine she was pretty upset when she wrote it...” Love Tap paused and added, “… And drunk…” under her breath.

Button Mash leaned over and examined the napkin. “What’s this part that’s scribbled out at the top, mom?” he asked as he pointed out to a scribbled out bit near the top.

“Never mind that, Button,” Love Tap said. Like hay I was going to let the kids stare at such foul language.

“This don’t seem so bad,” Apple Bloom exclaimed.

“It doesn’t?” the rest of the table asked in surprise.

“Apple Bloom?” Scootaloo began. “Are you looking at the same drawing we all are? I’m pretty sure Sweetie Belle could draw better than this!”

Sweetie Belle smiled and nodded. “That’s true…” She suddenly paused and knitted her brow as she thought about Scootaloo’s words a bit more. “HEY!” she cried in a protesting tone.

“I like your drawings, Sweetie Belle,” Button Mash said.

Sweetie Belle giggled. “Hehe, thanks!”

“Not the drawing!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “The damages! Ah mean it’s all just a bit of wood an’ a few windows an’ some paint. We have extra at the farm.”

Scootaloo rubbed a forehoof under her chin. “That makes sense, I mean… it seems like your family is always raisin’ barns or rebuildin’ something on the farm.”

“Especially after we accidentally destroy it!” Sweetie Belle said cheerfully.

Button Mash took off his hat and placed it on his chest. “That poor gazebo…” he uttered as he stared off into space.

Love Tap raised an eyebrow at Sweetie Belle as Scootaloo and Apple Bloom quickly elbowed her in the sides and shot her dirty looks.

“Uh… whoops…” Sweetie Belle said sheepishly as she began to blush in slight embarrassment.

Love Tap decided to ignore the comment. “Well… I guess that at least answers the question as to where we’re going to get materials in the morning. Though, I hope we can manage to actually put it all together right!”

“Ah can do it!” Apple Bloom said confidently.

“Oh?” Love Tap replied.

“Yeah!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. “She pretty much rebuilt our clubhouse into the great treehouse it is today!"

Scootaloo nodded. “You should have seen it before she fixed it up! It looked like… well…” Scootaloo held up the napkin with one forehoof and pointed at it with her other. “Kinda like this!”

Love Tap smiled. “Sounds like we have a plan.” She turned and looked at Apple Bloom, “Of course I’ll pay your family for all the material.”

Apple Bloom shook her head. “No ma’am! Ah helped blow a hole in the school too! Anyhow, we have a lot of the stuff on hand, Ah don’t think anypony would notice.”

Scootaloo knitted her brow at Apple Bloom. “Apple Bloom, when someone offers you money, you say ‘yes’.”

“Well that ain’t exactly honest, now is it?”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Your sister would be proud.”

“She also might start askin’ about where I got the money from.”

“Oh…” Scootaloo said as realization quickly set on her face. “Good point.”

“At least my sister isn’t mad,” Sweetie Belle uttered.

Button smiled. “Maybe she was happy you defended me!”

Scootaloo chimed in, “Also you were only going to blow up Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.”

Apple Bloom nodded. “Ah’d imagine Ms. Cheerilee being less upset about that, too!”

The group quickly erupted into another chorus of laughter, and even Love Tap raised a forehoof over her mouth as she quietly snickered to herself. She quickly cleared her throat. “Alright, well Button and I will swing by the farm extra early to help grab the supplies. Now everypony eat up, you should get home soon and get to bed early. I certainly don’t want anypony working with tools and nails while half-asleep.”

Button nodded. “Sure, mom!”

The fillies in the room also replied with a chorus of acknowledgement as they turned towards their food and began chowing down on the stacks of French toast in front of them.

Love Tap sighed to herself as she stared at a picture of her family sitting on a salmon-colored dresser next to the bed. She sat smiling next to an equally happy-looking stallion with a dark brown coat, spiky black mane, amber eyes, and black mustache. Below the stallion was a teenaged colt with a light-reddish brown coat, short black mane, and sapphire-blue eyes. The colt wore a smirk, which Love Tap always joked was his attempt at looking cool in photos. Below herself was Button Mash who looked up at the camera with a bright, happy smile.

Love Tap focused her attention on the stallion in the picture as she began to speak, “Well Chip, I guess I probably could have used your help today…” Love Tap said as she stared at the stallion in the photo. “Kind of helped blow a hole in Button’s school…” She pursed her lips slightly. “Not my proudest moment as an adult, but I think I made the kids happy even if we all got in trouble for it.” Love Tap smiled at the photo. “Guess you would have tried to stop me, huh?” She shook her head. “Listen to me… talking to you like you're dead or something… I guess I could always write this in my next letter…” Love Tap gave a quiet sigh before she continued speaking to herself, “… but maybe I’m hoping to avoid a lecture about keeping a cool, level head when it comes to our kids,” Love Tap said with a smirk.

“Hey, Mom?”

Love Tap looked up at her doorway as Button Mash stood in it. “Yes, Sweetie? What is it? You should be in bed,” she said as she placed the picture back on the dresser.

Button nodded and smiled. “I know mom… I just wanted to thank you for helping me rescue Sweetie Belle and say that you’re the best mom ever.”

Love Tap mirrored her son's smile and hopped off the bed. She trotted over to Button Mash and wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you, sweetie. You’re the best son a mother could ask for.”

Button smiled as he returned the affection.

“Oh, and sweetie?” Love Tap said as she continued to hold onto her son.

“Yeah, mom?”

“Don’t tell your father or Gibson about today, alright?”

“Sure, mom.”

Love Tap broke the embrace and smiled once more at Button. “Good boy. Now get to bed, we’ve got a big day ahead of us.”

Button nodded and smiled. “Alright, mom.”

Ms. Cheerilee sat in front of her damaged school house and yawned. She replaced her yawn with a scowl on her face as she attempted to shake some of the morning dew off her front legs, followed by her back ones. Although she would not be expected to help fix the gaping hole in the side of the school, last night’s alcohol combined with the rather early start today was making being up and about much less fun than usual. She waved over a couple of young fillies that trudged through the misty fog towards the school.

“Sweetie Belle…” Scootaloo uttered as she squinted out at the schoolhouse with heavy bags under her eyes. “No offence, but next time you get detention, I think I’m going to vote to let you stay there.”

Sweetie Belle shot her friend a scowl. “Okay, but it was your idea to blow a hole in the school…”

“I thought somepony would shoot it down!” Scootaloo cried. “How was I supposed to know that Button Mash and his mom would be all crazy about you spending an hour or two alone in the schoolhouse?”

“Speaking of which,” Sweetie Belle began, “where are those two?”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “I’m sure they’re coming in from the farm now. There will be plenty of time to play kissy face with your colt friend after we fix the school.”

A tinge of pink crept onto Sweetie Belle’s cheeks as she began to protest, “That’s not what… I mean… I wasn’t…” Sweetie Belle paused briefly. “… You don’t think he actually—”

“Good morning, girls,” Cheerilee said with a bit less enthusiasm than what she could usually manage.

“Good morning, Ms. Cheerilee,” the girls called out in their half-awake state.

Cheerilee simply nodded. “Nice to see you two could make it so early.”

“Uh… right…” Sweetie Belle uttered.

Scootaloo managed to fight off the urge to backtalk her teacher.I mean… we did sort of blow a hole in the school… She settled for giving Cheerilee a little scowl.

Cheerilee sighed. “I know it’s not fun to be up this early, but I’d really like you all to make some headway on the school before classes start.”

“We know…” the two fillies huffed out.

“Uhg, when is Apple Bloom going to get here with those other two?” Scootaloo griped. “If I’m going to be up this early I’d at least like to be doing some—”

Scootaloo paused mid-sentence as a long shadow suddenly cast itself towards the school. The two fillies and Cheerilee looked up as a mare crested a hill with a cart piled high with lumber, supplies, and two foals laying on top of it all. Love Tap doggedly trudged onward, her heavy cart in tow.

“Looks like our hero is here,” Sweetie Belle said with a smile.

“WHY THE HECK DOES SCHOOL HAVE TO BE SO EARLY?!”

Scootaloo frowned. “And it sounds like our hero isn’t a morning pony.”

Cheerilee managed a smile as Love Tap approached. “Good morning, Love Tap! Looks like you managed to get everything you’d need to fix up the school.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Love Tap said as she approached. “Let’s just get this over with…” she uttered as she removed the work collar attached to the cart from her neck and lowered a pair of brown saddle bags off of her back.

“HEY! NO FAIR!” Scootaloo cried. “Why do they get to sleep in?!” she said as she motioned to Apple Bloom and Button Mash, who were both laying sprawled out on top of lumber fast asleep.

Love Tap shrugged. “They didn’t add that much more weight. I told them both they could get a little more sleep in between here and the school.”

“But that’s not faaaaaair~!” Scootaloo wined.

“Scootaloo,” Sweetie Belle said, “give them a break! They were both up earlier than us!”

Scootaloo sighed, “FINE! Just help me wake them. I’ll go poke Button.”

Sweetie Belle nodded. “Alright, then I guess I’ll wake Apple Bloom…”

Scootaloo suddenly frowned. “Wait a minute… Youshould poke Button!” she declared.

Sweetie Belle furrowed her brow. “Why me?”

“‘Cause you might blast me if I do it!”

“What?!” Sweetie Belle cried. “Why would I do that?!”

“What if he starts crying?” Scootaloo asked.

“Oh…” Sweetie Belle said with a slight blush. “… Alright, you have a point.”

“OH!” Scootaloo grinned mischievously. “Maybe you could wake him with a kiss!”

The blush on Sweetie Belle’s face suddenly went from a couple pink puddles to a sea of red. “WHAT?! I couldn’t… I mean… We’re just foals, and…”

Love Tap giggled to herself as she watched a very flustered Sweetie Belle attempt to process the idea of her waking Button up with a kiss.

Cheerilee shook her head. “I can’t believe you’re encouraging this.”

“What?!” Love Tap replied. “She’s adorable and she makes my son happy! How could I not?”

Cheerilee rolled her eyes. “Well alright, but you all need to get started.”

“Fine!” Love Tap huffed out before muttering “… Kill joy…” under her breath.

“What was that?” Cheerilee asked in a warning tone.

“Nothing, Ms. Cheerilee…” Love Tap replied.

Cheerilee frowned. “Alright, well… could you please go wake your son? This whole you talking to me like I’m actually your teacher is mildly unnerving.”

“Uh… Yeah…” Love Tap agreed. “Sorry, old habits die hard, I guess…” she said as she trotted over to the cart.

“Hurry it up, will you!” Scootaloo cried.

“I’m… I’m gonna!” Sweetie Belle said as she inched her face closer and closer to Button Mash’s. Sweetie Belle pursed her lips.

“Zzzzzzz… Oh, yeah Sweetie Belle…” Button murmured out.

Mere inches from Button’s face, Sweetie Belle froze at the mention of her name.

“Zzzzzz… Grab that fire-flower…zzzzzz…” Button Mash grinned. “…Yeah, you’re on fire now…”

Scootaloo chuckled. “See! He even dreams about you!”

Sweetie Belle turned back towards Scootaloo with a panicked expression. “I can’t do it!”

“Oh, come on!” Scootaloo cried.

“Shouldn’t you be waking Apple Bloom?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“I’m getting to it!” Scootaloo replied.

“Uh, girls?” Love Tap interrupted. “Maybe I should wake Button.”

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo suddenly frowned.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to kiss him!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

“What?” Love Tap said as she raised her eyebrow. “No! I’m just going to wake him gently, that’s all.”

“Ooooh,” Sweetie Belle uttered. “That makes more sense.”

Love Tap trotted up to Button and began gently nuzzling his face with the side of her head. “Button, sweetie? It’s time to get up.”

“Zzzzzz… One more level, mom…” Button murmured out.

“Button,” Love Tap said gently, “you’re not playing a video game, you’re sleeping…”

One of Button’s back legs twitched “… Snort… But I’ve almost beat this World! I’m sure the Princess is in this castle!”

Love Tap paused. “… What world are you on?”

“Zzzzz… Six…” Button answered.

Love Tap shook her head. “Sorry, not that one either.”

Button’s eyes slowly opened as he scowled out into open air and his mouth pulled into a tight frown. “Awww, lame!” Button declared. He looked around his surroundings and he greeted each pony as he saw them. “Hi, mom. Hi, Scootaloo.” He smiled as his amber eyes drifted onto Sweetie Belle. “Hi, Sweetie Belle.”

Sweetie Belle giggled. “Good morning, Button.”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Would you two stop making googly eyes at each other and help me wake Apple Bloom?!”

“WE WEREN’T MAKING GOOGLY EYES!” Sweetie Belle shrieked.

Love Tap and Cheerilee winced as the young unicorn’s voice reached octaves that would give the local wildlife a headache.

“Sweetie Belle, dearie,” Love Tap began, “sorry, but it’s a little early for mommy to be dealing with that level of noise.”

The group went silent as everyone turned and stared at Love Tap who looked about the group with confusion.

“…Did you just adopt Sweetie Belle?!” Scootaloo cried.

Cheerilee merely sighed and shook her head, and grumbled something about the time of day and something to do with manure.

“Huh?” Love Tap said. “Wait… what'd I say?!” she said as confusion mixed with a touch of concern.

“Yay!” Button Mash cried as he jumped from the lumber pile. “Now Sweetie Belle can hang out with me all the time!”

In stark contrast to the excited colt, Sweetie Belle had a very serious expression. “Wait… does that make us brother and sister, or husband and wife?!”

Button’s eyes shot open as he attempted to consider the implications of either situation. “Uh… wow… I didn’t think about that…”

“No, really!” Love Tap cried as the concern in her voice elevated. “What'd I say?! What'd I say?!”

“Would all’a ya pipe down!” Apple Bloom said in an irritated tone as she jumped off the lumber pile. “Yer goin’ to wake all of Ponyville the way ye’re carryin’ on!”

The group again went silent.

Apple Bloom looked up at Cheerilee and nodded. “Good morning, Ms. Cheerilee.”

Cheerilee smiled back at the young filly. “Good morning, Apple Bloom. Alright, now that everypony is awake and ready—”

“Good morning, Ms. Cheerilee,” Button interrupted.

“—Good morning, Button Mash,” Cheerilee said without missing a beat. “Right, now that everypony is—”

“HOW CAN SHE BE UP THIS EARLY?!” The group heard a frantic-sounding filly cry out.

The group turned to see Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon getting what seemed to be a very early morning gallop in.

“WHO CARES?! JUST KEEP RUNNING!” Diamond Tiara answered.

The two fillies quickly made their way down the streets of Ponyville as a happy-looking pink pony bounded down the street after them.

“WAIT!” Pinkie cried. “I HAVEN’T GIVEN YOU YOUR EXTRA SPECIAL MORNING FRIENDSHIP HUGS, OR EVEN SANG ANY EARLY MORNING FRIENDSHIP SONGS!”

The children and even Love Tap quietly snickered to themselves as they watched the scene unfold, the excitement suddenly casting a positive light on the fact that they were all up so early.

Cheerilee turned towards Love Tap and shot her an unamused scowl.

Love Tap glanced up, catching the expression. “What?!” she cried.

Cheerilee raised an eyebrow. “And Pinkie Pie is chasing Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon all over Ponyville, because…?”

Love Tap shrugged and shook her head. “How the heck should I know?!” Despite her best efforts, tiny hints of a smirk appeared on her face. “Maybe somepony told her they could really use a friend.”

Cheerilee just shook her head. “Whatever,” she huffed out. “Well, you five better get started.”

Love Tap looked back towards the hole in the school and frowned. “Riirrght….”

Scootaloo sighed as she looked at the hole. “Ah man, this is going to take forever!” she moaned out.

Apple Bloom shook her head. “It doesn’t look so bad! If we all work together we can get it done in no time!”

Sweetie Belle smiled and giggled to herself. “Hehehe…”

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow as she glanced at Sweetie Belle. “Let me guess, you just thought up a song for this…”

Sweetie Belle nodded. “You betcha!”

Button Mash smiled excitedly. “Oh boy! Sweetie Belle’s going to sing?!”

Scootaloo nodded. “We all are, you included.”

Button Mash frowned. “Me?! I don’t know how to sing…”

Sweetie Belle trotted up to Button and placed a forehoof on his shoulders. “Don’t worry, you’ll pick it up in no time, trust me!”

Button Mash looked at Sweetie Belle and turned towards Scootaloo and Apple Bloom who both smiled and nodded. Love Tap also smiled as she trotted up to the group.

Sweetie Belle lowered her hoof to the ground and cleared her throat.

“There’s no need to worry,” Sweetie Belle sang out as she trotted out in front of the group.

“If we work together, we will be done in a hurry.”

“All we need to do is to join together and work as one”

“And before you know it our work will be doooone.”

“I’ll grab the wood,” Scootaloo sang as she grabbed an armful of lumber from the cart.

“And I’ll grab the nails,” Apple Bloom sang as she fished out a hammer and nails from the cart.

“I’ll make sure we don’t miss any details,” Button Mash said as he happily took a measuring tape to the hole.

“Together we will see this through,” Love Tap sang as she took the other side of the tape measure in forehoof.

“The damage done we will undo,” the group sang as they began to join their voiced harmoniously.

“Nail that plank and turn that screw,” Sweetie Belle sang as she began to screw a window frame together with a screwdriver she held aloft with magic.

“And before you know it we’ll fix the schooool,” the group sang in unison.

“Because there’s nothing we can’t do if we work together.”

The five ponies began to rhythmically work out each of their jobs.

“With teamwork we will maaake everything all better”

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle began passing wood and nail in a line towards the front of the school to the beat of the song and as Love Tap quickly removed the damaged bits of wood from the school. Apple Bloom and Button Mash quickly hammered in the replacement planks they received.

The group continued singing.

“We’ll fix this mess”

Love Tap grabbed a paint can with her mouth off the cart and trotted it over towards the school.

“We’ll make this right,”

Scootaloo followed Love Tap’s example as the heavy can fell to the ground in her mouth.

“We’ve seen our errors”

Undeterred, Scootaloo dragged the heavy paint can over towards the school.

“So hold on tight.”

“We’ll fix up the school on time,” Sweetie Bellesang out.

“And then everything will be subliiiiime~!”

“Oh, nice one, Sweetie Belle!” Button Mash said.

“Thanks!” Sweetie Belle replied as she stared out at the now mostly finished, wood grain school wall. She and Button Mash quickly ducked inside the school as Apple Bloom began nailing in the last few planks.

“I’ll clean inside,” Sweetie Belle sang as she levitated a broom and began sweeping away dust and splinters.

“We’ll paint the walls,” Button Mash and Scootaloo sang as they painted opposite sides of the school wall.

“This task ain’t small but we’ll do what we can,” Apple Bloom sang as she lowered her hammer and wiped sweat from her brow.

“We have a plan,” Love Tap chimed in as she held a large shovel in her forearms and scooped bits of the broken school into the cart.

“We’ll see it through,” Sweetie Belle and Button sang happily as they wrapped up their jobs inside the school.

“The damage done we will undo,” The group sang in unison again as they began tidying up the inside of the school.

“Nail that plank and turn that screw,” Sweetie Belle and Button Mash sang as they repaired a desk.

“And before you know it we’ll fix the school,” Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Love Tap sang as they helped repair the damaged items in the room.

“Because there’s nothing we can’t do if we work together,” The group sang as they began tidying up the inside of the classroom.

“With teamwork we will maaake everything all better”

Button Mash, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo all began scrubbing surfaces, as Sweetie Belle and Love Tap ran mops over the classroom floor.

“We’ll fix this mess”

“We’ll make this right,”

“We’ve seen our errors”

“So hold on tight.”

“We’ll fix up the school on time.”

Soon the scrubbing and mopping was finished, and everyone set their cleaning tools aside.

“And then everything will be sublime”

The group looked around the classroom in satisfaction as every surface seemed to glint cleanly in the morning light.

“We’ve come together,”

Love Tap walked over to the classroom entrance and opened it, holding the door open.

“We’ve fixed this mess,”

The foals lined up neatly and walked towards the door.

“We’ve made this right.”

The children began to exit the school and walk back to the side of the school.

“We’ve seen our errors”

Once the children were out, Love Tap walked out to join them.

“So hold on tight.”

Finished, the group exchanged happy smiles and hoof bumps. Sweetie Belle and Button Mash exchanged a quick hug.

“We’ve fixed up the school on time”

The group all threw their forehooves in the air as they sung the last line.

“And now everything is suuubliiiime~!”

As the collection of foals plus one adult mare finished. They all looked at Cheerilee expectantly.

Cheerilee’s mouth hung agape as she turned from the group and looked over the freshly repaired wall of her school house. She looked up at the city’s clock tower and took note of the time. She sighed before she addressed the group. “Good job, but I’m afraid I’ll see all of you in detention after school.”

The children began responding in disappointed moans and protests but they were soon cut off.

“WHAT?!” Love Tap cried. “That’s outrageous!”

Cheerilee narrowed her eyes and focused her attention on Love Tap. “You all committed a destructive and dangerous act! Now it’s fortunate no one was hurt, and I’m pleased and impressed you all fixed the school so… absurdly quickly. However, I’m afraid I can’t just let you get off like that! If the other students find out they can blow holes in the school and get away with it just so long as they clean up their mess, who knows what will happen!”

“But…” Scootaloo said in a protesting tone. “… But… they probably wouldn’t be as good at it as us!”

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “Blowing a hole in the school, or fixin’ it afterwards?”

“Both!” Scootaloo said.

Love Tap shot a glare at Cheerilee who was more than willing to mirror the expression. The children present went quiet and put on tense expressions as they looked back and forth between the pair of adult mares.

Love Tap considered her options. Well, I can deck her, but that’d just get me in moretrouble and I reallydon’t want to resort to violence in front of the kids… Also, she’s mad too and justmight swing back, which would set an even worse example for everypony.

I can argue with her which probably wouldn’t get me anywhere. Love Tap’s expression softened slightly.She’s angry and she has every right to be… I’d be upset if someone willfully blew a hole in my home, even if they fixed it quickly… I guess I can’t be toomad for Cheerilee doing what she had to do, even if I don’t exactly care for how she handled everything…

Love Tap gritted her teeth. “How many days?”

Cheerilee softened her glare back to her tired expression. “Just one. You did all fix the school after all. I believe just a few hours of quiet reflection should wrap this up, don’t you think?”

Love Tap pursed her lips. “Fine. I guess that sounds reasonable.” She looked over the foals with an apologetic look. “Sorry, kids…”

The foals present merely shook their head.

“It’s alright, mom!” Button exclaimed. “One day isn’t such a big deal.”

“At least we’ll all be together,” Sweetie Belle said in a cheerful tone.

Scootaloo nodded. “Yeah! I mean, just a day of detention for blowing up the school! Totally worth it!”

Cheerilee leveled a glare at Scootaloo.

“Uh, Scootaloo?” Apple Bloom said. “Ms. Cheerilee is standing right here!”

“…Ooops…” Scootaloo said as she looked up at her teacher with a pensive smile.

Cheerilee tilted her head to the side. “I can extend detention out a few days until we hit a number that makes it seem not worth it.”

Scootaloo bit her lower lip and chuckled nervously as her eyes darted from side to side. “Uh… right… I’m sure a few hours in detention will give me adequate time reflect on the erm… consequences of my actions.”

Cheerilee nodded solemnly.

Love Tap smiled. “Well, we have some time before school. How about I treat you kids to a big breakfast out and I can have dinner ready by the time you’re out. How’s that for a job well done?”

Apple Bloom smiled. “Well, that sounds like a great way to celebrate.”

“Yay! Breakfast!” Button Mash cried as he stood up and flailed his forehooves about happily.

Cheerilee cocked an eyebrow at Love Tap. “You do realize I said ‘all of you’ when I mentioned detention, right?”

Love Tap’s jaw dropped as she stared back at Cheerilee. “You can’t be serious!”

The children present looked on in surprise before the four of them attempted to stifle giggles.

Cheerilee furrowed her brow. “You encouraged and aided minors in committing destruction of public property! Of course I’m serious!”

Love Tap glared out angrily at Cheerilee. “What are you going to do if I don’t show up?! Call my parents?! I’m a little old to get in trouble for skipping detention!”

Cheerilee nodded. “True, but you’re never too old to talk to a city judge.”

Love Tap’s eyes widened. “You’re threatening me with jail if I don’t go to detention?!”

“You’re lucky you’re not already in jail!” Cheerilee declared.

The kids stopped snickering and went back to quietly watching the two adults sort this out between them.

Love Tap paused and thought about this. She sighed before she continued to speak, “I thought this whole 'treating me as a student' thing was ‘unnerving’.”

Cheerilee’s expression softened as she rolled her eyes. “Believe me, it is! But you’re the most to blame here! I have to at least make sure you get as much punishment as the kids!”

“Well…” Love Tap began in a sullen expression as she glanced down at the ground, “… I guess I can’t really argue with that.” She looked back up at Cheerilee. “Fine… if fixing the school and reliving my not-so-fun school days will keep me out of jail, I guess I can waste a few hours in detention.”

Cheerilee just smiled. “Great! I’ll see you after school then.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Love Tap said in a dejected tone. She looked back at the foals present. “Come on, everypony, let’s get breakfast.” With that, Love Tap walked over to the cart and leaned down to retrieve her saddle bags. She placed her muzzle in between the two bags and lifted her head, allowing the bags to slide down her neck and onto her back. She began trotting away from the school, the four foals followed.

“Soo…” Apple Bloom began. “Ah guess we all sort of got off lucky.”

Scootaloo chuckled. “Heh, I’ll say! Guess Ms. Cheerilee’s soft-hoofed approach kinda works both ways…”

Love Tap merely grumbled something incomprehensible under her breath.

Sweetie Belle looked up at Love Tap with a concerned expression. “Are you alright?”

Love Tap smiled down at Sweetie Belle. “Fine, just a little annoyed, though it beats jail, I’m sure.” She sighed before she continued to speak, “Mommy just hasn’t been in detention for a very long time…”

Button Mash and Sweetie Belle’s eyes opened wide as they exchanged worried glances.

“Uh, mom?” Button Mash said. “IS Sweetie Belle my sister now, or am I married to her?”

Love Tap’s eyes suddenly widened to match the concern in her son’s and Sweetie Belle’s face. “Wait… what'd I say?!”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged grins as they began laughing to themselves. HeheheheHaHaHaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…!”

“No seriously!” Love Tap cried out in a slightly panicked tone. “WHAT DID I SAY?!”

Jump to top

Chapter 13: Crime and Detention

The SweetieMash ChroniclesChapter 13: Crime and Detention

Quiet. The classroom was quiet. Although the four foals present were normally noisy and rambunctious, each had occupied themselves with a silent activity. Usually there’d only be one other adult present, Ms. Cheerilee. However, today was different. Detention was different. All because Cheerilee had asked, or blackmailed might be a more accurate term, an adult to attend.

Quiet. The quiet gave Cheerilee time to dwell on the punishment she had given out for a few of her students and one of their parents for blowing a hole in the school, or rather the new punishment after her first attempts at discipline ended up being surprisingly light.

I can’t believe they all fixed the hole so quickly this morning! Cheerilee thought to herself.I mean… sure I’m pleased that somehow a song and a bit of cooperation was all it took to get the school back to normal before classes even started, but I thought it would take at leasta few days working before and after school to fix it up.

Cheerilee considered the idea further and sighed to herself. I had to do something to let them know there’s consequences for their actions, but was it enough? I mean, even if nopony missed any school and we got it fixed, it seems those four are enjoying some increased popularity from the act itself. Cheerilee focused her eyes on the other adult in the room. Love Tap is being considered some sort of ultimate mom…

The other adult present met Cheerilee’s stare with a glower. Cheerilee frowned. Well, whatever reputation she’s gained through the children doesn’t seem to make up for her being here at the moment. We’ve barely started and she’s giving me a stare like she’s been forced to come here for days. Uhg… I hatethat look… I took this job to teachchildren, not make them feel bad for misbeha—

Unexpectedly, Love Tap’s expression suddenly shifted. “Ms. Cheerilee?” she cried in a whiny tone. “I need to go to the bathroom.”

All the children looked up from their activities. As soon as Love Tap had broken it, silence had rushed to fill the vacuum her words had caused in the quiet.

Quiet. Not the calm quiet of tranquility, but the calm before the storm. A tense calm where everypony understood that the worst was yet to come.

Cheerilee narrowed her eyes. “I told everypony to go before we started!”

“But I didn’t need to go then!” Love Tap whined out.

Cheerilee’s eyes narrowed even further. “Don’t think for a moment I don’t know what you’re trying to do here.”

Love Tap looked back at Cheerilee with an innocent expression. “Trying not to wet myself?” she suggested as she crossed her back legs and squeezed them tightly together.

The children all giggled.

Cheerilee shot the foals a stern look that quickly quieted them. She scowled at Love Tap and pointed a forehoof out towards a door near the front of the classroom. “Go! And be quick about it!”

“Thanks, Ms. Cheerilee!” Love Tap cried as practically sprung from her desk and galloped towards the door.

“And stop calling me ‘Ms. Cheerilee’!” Cheerilee called out.

Love Tap quickly bolted towards the bathroom, entered and closed the door shut with a ‘SLAM!’

Cheerilee sighed and shook her head. I had hoped Love Tap would patiently wait out detention, but she seems dead set on making this an uncomfortable experience for the bothof us! At first it looked like smooth sailing when she made all the kids pick out a quiet activity to pass the time. She even got Scootaloo to start on her homework, and Scootaloo almost neverdoes anything but pout or make trouble when she’s in detention… I didn’t realize Love Tap was just arranging to pick up Scootaloo’s bad habits and thensome.

‘SLAM!’

Cheerilee jumped slightly as the bathroom door swung open forcefully. She turned. “Would you stop slamming the door?!” she snapped at Love Tap.

“Sorry, Ms. Cheerilee…” Love Tap said sheepishly.

“AND STOP CALLING ME— Wait… what are you doing now?”

Cheerilee looked into the bathroom as Love Tap turned on the sink and began washing her hooves.

“Uh… washing my hooves?” Love Tap replied in a slightly confused tone. “I mean… it’s kind of obvious, isn’t it?”

The children giggled again and quickly stopped as Cheerilee shot them an irritated glance.

Cheerilee turned back to Love Tap once more. “Why would you do that after you opened the bathroom door?!” Cheerilee cried in a somewhat demanding tone, her voice becoming increasingly frustrated with each sentence.

“Because I just opened the door!”

“Why should that matter?!”

“Because I don’t know if everypony here washes their hooves after using the bathroom!”

“I know I don’t,” Scootaloo said.

“Ewwww!” Sweetie Belle cried.

“Scootaloo! Now that’s just unhygienic!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.

“What?!” Scootaloo protested. “I mean, I have towalk on my hooves after I leave the bathroom anyway! If anypony else didn’t wash their hooves, my hooves immediately get dirty anyhow! I mean, if you think about it, the there’s probably a little bit of pony poo everywhere we walk, anyway.”

The room went quiet again. Quiet. An uneasy quiet of young foals trying to come to terms with the harsh realities of an unforgiving world.

“I think… I think I might throw up…” Button Mash muttered as a slight green hue started to appear on his face.

Sweetie Belle slowly raised her forehooves in front of her face and stared at them in horror.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes and glanced at Apple Bloom. “Why aren’t you freaking out?”

“Ah live on a farm,” Apple Bloom replied with a shrug. “Ah’m used to accidently steppin’ in stuff at home, so it’s not like what other ponies have on their hooves is all that unsettlin’.”

“So you’re tracking your farm filth with you wherever you go?!” Scootaloo exclaimed. She frowned as her eyes widened. “Alright, now I’m squicked out!”

“Hey! At least Ah wash mah hooves!” Apple Bloom protested.

Button’s hoof shoot up. “Ms. Cheerilee? Can I go wash my hooves?”

“Me too!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed as she also raised a forehoof into the air.

Scootaloo shook her head. “It’s no use!” Scootaloo cried as she held her forehooves out in front of her, quickly flinging them above her head. “The floor will still be dirty!”

Button and Sweetie Belle exchanged panicked expressions.

“Ms. Cheerilee,” Sweetie Belle cried out. “Can we mop the classroom?”

“There’s no mopping in detention!” Cheerilee cried out.

Sweetie Belle, Button Mash, and Scootaloo all gave Cheerilee a crestfallen look.

Love Tap snickered to herself.

Cheerilee scowled at her and motioned to the distraught foals in the classroom.

Love Tap looked out into the classroom and frowned as the collateral damage she had caused dawned on her. She cleared her throat. “Children, it’s alright. As long as you all wash your hooves before meals and”—Love Tap focused her gaze on Scootaloo—“after you use the bathroom, you’ll be fine!”

The children’s expressions all visibly relaxed slightly.

Scootaloo sheepishly met Love Taps gaze. “Uh… Right, Ms. Button’s mom, ma’am…”

Love Tap nodded satisfactorily.

Sweetie Belle spoke up. “Okay, well… Can we still wash our hooves?”

Cheerilee sighed. “Fine go ahead. Love Tap, please take your seat.”

Love Tap smiled to herself as Sweetie Belle, Button Mash, and Scootaloo all left their seats and rushed past her for the bathroom. Apple Bloom merely rolled her eyes as she watched the three foals gallop towards the front of the school. All three squeezed into the bathroom, flailing their arms about and pushing each other as they fought for control over the sink.

“Stop pushing!” Sweetie Belle cried.

“Just wait your turn!” Scootaloo shot back.

“Aaaaaah!” Button cried. “Scootaloo touched me! I have Scootaloo germs on me now!”

“I’m trying to fix that!” Scootaloo shot back.

Sweetie Belle scowled at Scootaloo. “This never would have happened if you just washed your hooves!”

“Look, we’ve all been walking around!” Scootaloo said. “I’m sure there are worse things than my germs on all of us.”

Button gasped. “She’s probably right!” He stared at his forehooves. “I’m contaminated! I’M TOO YOUNG TO GO INTO QUARANTINE!”

“CHILDREN!” Cheerilee snapped. “Pipe down! You‘re disturbing everypony else in the classroom!”

“Sorry, Ms. Cheerilee,” the three foals answered in unison.

Love Tap snickered. “Actually, I was enjoying watching the children.”

Apple Bloom nodded. “It’s actually way more entertainin’ than the book I was readin’.”

Cheerilee shot eyes set to ‘kill’ out into the classroom and Love Tap and Apple Bloom went silent.

“Hey!” Button piped up. “Maybe we should wash our hooves together.”

Scootaloo cocked an eyebrow at Button “That… is a really weird idea.”

“But think of all the water we would save!” Button added.

“Uh…pass…” Scootaloo replied.

Button Mash examined Scootaloo with concern. “Scootaloo, do you have intimacy issues?”

“I…WHAT?!”

“No, I think Button’s onto something!” Sweetie Belle declared.

“I do not have… inta-whatever-it-is-that-Button-said issues!” Scootaloo cried.

“No, not that!” Sweetie Belle said. “Maybe we can get our cutie marks in water conservation!” she said excitedly.

Button scrunched his face up in mild confusion. “Uh… yay?”

Apple Bloom’s ears suddenly perked up and she looked over at Ms. Cheerilee. “Ms. Cheerilee, can Ah wash my hooves?”

Cheerilee sighed heavily and brought a forehoof up to her face with an audible ‘Smack!’ and pointed out to the bathroom with the other.

“Thank ya, Ms. Cheerilee!” Apple Bloom said happily as she rushed towards the bathroom.

Scootaloo backed out of the bathroom as Apple Bloom galloped inside. Button Mash stood on his back legs and turned on the tap as he, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom began running their hooves under the water and applying soap.

“Come on, Scootaloo!” Button Mash said with a grin. “The water’s fine!”

Scootaloo shook her head. “You three go ahead, I think I’ll wait rather than be part of your weird group hoof washing cult.”

Cheerilee simply sighed heavily at her desk and scowled out at the tan mare in her classroom who seemed busy trying to stifle a giggle fit.

“Here Button,” Sweetie Belle said as she grabbed the young colt's hoof and began scrubbing it. “You missed a spot.”

“Thanks Sweetie Belle!” Button said enthusiastically.

Love Tap sighed. “And me without my camera…”

“Hey you two,” Apple Bloom called out, “Ah can use a little more soap over here…”

“Would you three hurry it up?” Scootaloo cried. “My hooves are still covered in farm gunk here!”

“Ah’m cleaning up, alright?!” Apple Bloom shot back.

Button turned and smiled. “You can still join us!”

“I’d really rather not…” Scootaloo said.

“Come on Scootaloo!” Button said encouragingly. “Come join us at the friendship sink and let the healing begin!”

“I DON’T HAVE WHATEVER ISSUES!” Scootaloo cried.

Cheerilee’s eye twitched.

“Yer still missing out on a potential cutie mark here,” Apple Bloom pointed out.

Scootaloo pursed her lips slightly. “Alright, fine!” she huffed out as she walked into the bathroom. “Apple Bloom, scoot over.”

“That’s the spirit!” Sweetie Belle said as Scootaloo joined the others at the sink, the four kids now struggling for space as they crowded around the basin.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS WATER CONSERVATIONISTS, YAY!”

Cheerilee gritted her teeth as frustration beginning to raise to boiling. “YOU KIDS ARE NOT GOING TO GET YOUR CUTIE MARKS BY WASHING YOUR HOOVES!” Cheerilee cried.

The four foals turned; the fillies of the group frowned.

Love Tap smirked. “Maybe they can get their cutie marks in hygiene,” she suggested helpfully.

The three fillies smiled once more as Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle went back to washing their hooves.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS HYGIENISTS, YAY!”

“STOP HELP—NOT HELPING THEM!” Cheerilee cried.

The three fillies turned and frowned again.

Button walked away from the sink stared up at the ceiling with a confused expression. “Wait… Who would want a hygiene cutie mark?”

Scootaloo shot Button a scowl as she continued washing her hooves. “Shhhhh… They’ll hear you!”

Button frowned as he dried his hooves on a nearby towel that hung off a bar on the wall. “Uh… Who will hear me, Scootaloo?”

Sweetie Belle turned and said, “The cutie mark Breezies!”

“Uh… That’s a thing?” Button Mash replied.

Apple Bloom turned. “Who do you think passes out cutie marks?”

“I… uh… Didn’t know they were passed out…” Button replied in an unsure tone.

Cheerilee cocked her head slightly as she turned to Love Tap. Love Tap shrugged and shook her head in a ‘wasn’t me’ fashion.

Button tapped a forehoof against his chin as the sounds of running water continued from the bathroom. “What would a hygiene cutie mark even look like?”

“Maybe like a pair of hooves being washed?” Sweetie Belle suggested.

“Huh…” Button replied. “But then it would be like a pair of hooves are always washing your flank…”

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo frowned and ceased washing their hooves.

Sweetie Belle removed her hooves from the sink and gave them a shake. “I no longer want a cutie mark in hygiene,” she announced as she grabbed the towel and dried her hooves.

“Me neither,” Scootaloo said as she also removed her hooves from the sink. Sweetie Belle passed Scootaloo the towel and Scootaloo began drying her hooves.

“Wait!” Apple Bloom cried as she continued to wash her hooves. “Maybe it would be something more abstract! Like… like an hourglass! Ya know… to time how long ye’re supposed to wash up and stuff!”

Scootaloo put the towel back as she, Sweetie Belle, and Button Mash all shot Apple Bloom a confused expression.

Button spoke up, “That makes… no sense…”

“WOULD EVERYPONY JUST SIT DOWN ALREADY?!” Cheerilee cried in frustration.

The four foals all put on worried expressions as they quickly galloped back to their seats. They began fumbling for their items, Apple Bloom still with quite moist hooves.

Love Tap looked over the four flustered foals then turned to Cheerilee with an angry scowl.

Cheerilee winced and sat up from her desk. She quickly rushed over to the bathroom and grabbed the towel, throwing it over her the back of her neck. She trotted over to Apple Bloom’s desk and leaned her head down. “Here Apple Bloom, dry your hooves.”

“Erm… Thanks, Ms. Cheerilee,” Apple Bloom said in an unsure, almost scared tone as she grabbed the towel.

Cheerilee puffed out her lower lip as she trudged back to her desk. I hate yelling at the kids like that… Maybe detention was a bad idea… Maybe I should just call it off for the day… I mean, this is somehow much more stressful than usua—

Cheerilee paused as a sudden thought occurred to her. She turned and glanced at Love Tap briefly as she sat back down.

She’s not… She’s not trying to get me to dismiss detention early, is she? Cheerilee considered this further as she stared up at the ceiling. I thought she was just trying to get under my skin, and I’m sure that’s partof why she’s doing what she’s doing, but she certainly doesn’t want to be here and probably doesn’t think the children deserve to be here either. I dowish I could let them all go, but I can’t very well just hand out a shortened detention session for blowing a holein the school! And I’m not going to just let somepony else dictate how I run myschool, even if she is a mother. Cheerilee looked back down into the classroom. Still, I better say somethingto help break the tension here.

“Children, I’m really sorry I snapped at you like that,” Cheerilee said.

The four foals looked up at Cheerilee.

Cheerilee continued, “You were all just concerned about your hygiene, and that’s good!” Cheerilee assured with a smile. Her expression went serious again. “It’s just… you really shouldn’t be up and about so much during detention. Still, it was wrong of me to behave the way I did. I hope you can all forgive me.”

The four foals quickly exchanged looks and turned back to Cheerilee with smiles on their face.

Button spoke up first. “We forgive you, Ms. Cheerilee.”

Sweetie Belle rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. “Yeah… sorry we got a little carried away…”

Scootaloo nodded. “Sorry.”

“Won’t happen again!” Apple Bloom assured cheerily.

Love Tap narrowed her eyes and frowned.

“Good,” Cheerilee replied happily. She smiled. “Now, just focus on what you’re doing and time will fly by, you’ll see!”

“Yes, Ms. Cheerilee,” the kids called back as they refocused on what they were doing before the myriad disruptions occurred.

Love Tap pursed her lips and looked back at Cheerilee.

Cheerilee rested her elbows on her desk and placed her forehooves together. She rested her muzzle against her hooves as she stared back at Love Tap. Alright… your move.

Jump to top

Chapter 14: Love Tap and the Art of Annoyance

The SweetieMash ChroniclesChapter 14: Love Tap and the Art of Annoyance

Love Tap stared out from her desk back at Cheerilee. Things had gone quiet again, but to a sort of still, unsure quiet where it was unclear if things would remain calm or erupt into classroom chaos again.

The kids had mostly settled back into their activities. Apple Bloom had her muzzle buried in a book, Sweetie Belle scribbled at a piece of paper with a box of crayons, and Scootaloo and Button Mash concentrated on their homework.

Love Tap frowned slightly as she looked over the children. I wish I didn’t have to manipulate them so, but I’m surethey’d prefer not to be in detention. Still, all this yelling can’tbe good for them. Maybe I shouldjust wait it out…

Love Tap looked outside and caught a glimpse of the clock tower. Her eye twitched. She suddenly looked at Cheerilee with determination in her eyes. Alright Ms.Cheerilee, this may be your classroom, but I bet I have waymore experience aggravating teachers than you’ve had dealing with obnoxious students. Love Tap raised a forehoof to her mouth to conceal a smirk.If you’re going to insist on keeping us all here, guess I’ll just have to step up my game.

“Ms. Cheerilee, I’m boooored~!” Love Tap wailed, piercing the silence.

“Well you should have brought something to read or some homework like the res—like the children!” Cheerilee shot back.

Love Tap frowned. “I don’t have any homework!”

“I can assign you some,” Cheerilee said in a warning tone.

Love Tap scowled back at Cheerilee. “No you couldn’t.”

Cheerilee frowned and said nothing.

That’s right. Love Tap thought to herself. Don’t you even think of hanging jail over my head! You and I bothknow that threat’s wearing paper-thin at this point! Besides, even if you made up something for me to do, it’s not like I’m under any obligation to do it. Love Tap smirked to herself. In fact, I would probably just use it as an opportunity to scribble something unpleasant… Love Tap's eyes went wide. What was that cute thing Rarity says… Oh yes, ‘iiiiideeeeeaaaa’!

“Actually…” Love Tap said as her scowl changed into a smirk. “I think I wouldn’t mind a little task to—”

“That’s quite alright!” Cheerilee said hastily.

Love Tap pursed her lips into a tight frown and stared off into space. Darn it! She figured me out already… She’s pretty sharp for such a young teacher… Oh well, there’s plenty more where that came from.

Love Tap raised a forehoof and shook it about.

Cheerilee sighed. “What is it now?”

“Can I have a drink of water, Ms. Cheerilee?”

Cheerilee smirked. “I don’t know, can you?”

The children giggled.

Love Tap scowled. Gah! I’m out of practice, I should have seen that one coming. “May I have a drink of water, Ms. Cheerilee?” Love Tap growled out.

“Yes you may,” Cheerilee replied. “And stop calling me ‘Ms. Cheerilee’! You’re an adult for crying out loud!”

“An adult who’s serving detention,” Love Tap grumbled out loud enough for everypony to hear as she trotted back up to the bathroom. Love Tap reached for the door.

“And don’t slam it this time!” Cheerilee cried.

Love Tap furrowed her brow and crinkled her muzzle up as she slowly opened the door. Her creased expression softened as she realized the door made a creaking sound as she opened it. She grinned mischievously as she took her time opening the door, drawing out the sounds as long as possible.

‘Crrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeaaaaaak.’

Cheerilee narrowed her eyes slightly, but said nothing as Love Tap opened the door as wide as she could.

Love Tap entered and turned the faucet on full blast, filling the classroom with the sound of running water. She stood up on her back legs and tilted her head, putting her muzzle under the high pressure stream as she began slurping as loudly and audibly as possible and spraying water all over the bathroom.

“Sluuurp-slurp-slurp-sluuuuuurp-sluuuurp-slurp—”

“WOULD YOU JUST DRINK WATER LIKE A NORMAL PONY?!” Cheerilee cried out.

Love Tap turned. “ARE YOU PREJUDICED AGAINST SLURPERS?!” she shot back.

“I JUST WANT A NICE, QUIET CLASSROOM! IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!”

“WELL MAYBE SOME PONIES CAN’T HELP HOW NOISY THEY ARE!”

The kids moved their heads back and forth between the two arguing adults, all except Scootaloo who kept diligently writing.

From the desk next to her, Apple Bloom glanced over at Scootaloo’s paper. “Are ya… Are ya taking notes?!”

“Heck yes!” Scootaloo answered. “I’ve got to remember that slurping trick.”

“Wow Button,” Sweetie Belle said, “Your mom sure knows a thing or two about getting under a teacher’s skin.”

“Huh, I guess so,” Button replied.

Scootaloo glanced up from her paper. “How come you never do any of this stuff?”

“This is my first time in detention,” Button explained. “Speaking of which, when do we get locked up in cells?”

The three fillies exchanged confused glances.

Sweetie Belle spoke up, “There’s no cells in detention.”

“Huh, not much of a detention facility, is it?” Button replied.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Button, real life isn’t like video games.”

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom nodded in agreement.

Button snickered. “Sure Scootaloo, next you’re going to tell me monsters don’t attack Equestria whenever they get the chance.”

The fillies all went quiet for a second.

“Well, he’s got us there,” Apple Bloom said.

At the front of the classroom, Love Tap continued her screaming match with Cheerilee. “…WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO IF AN EXCEPTIONALLY NOISY KID IS IN YOUR CLASSROOM?!”

“I’VE NEVER HAD A FOAL AS DISRUPTIVE AS YOU!” Cheerilee shot back.

“WELL WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO IF ONE SHOWS UP?!”

“I’M PRETTY SURE THEY DON’T EXIST! CONGRATULATIONS! YOU’RE THE ALPHA AND OMEGA OF BEING AN OBNOXIOUS BRAT!”

Love Tap rolled her eyes. “Pffft… You’re just too thin-skinned.”

“Puuuullleeeeaaaase!” Cheerilee huffed out as she trotted up to Love Tap. “How would you act if I showed up to your house and started disrupting you taking care of your kids?!”

Love Tap paused and thought about this. “I’d probably demand that you leave and take anypony who was disrupting my peace and quiet with you.”

“UHG! You know what?! FINE! GO! JUST GO THEN!” Cheerilee cried.

Love Tap grinned wide and nodded. “Alright, then. Oh, Children~? We’re going.”

The kids all giggled from their desks and began to pack up their stuff.

“Huh?!” Ms. Cheerilee uttered. “No, wait!” she cried. “I didn’t mean—”

Without warning the door to the schoolhouse SLAMmed open and a pair of fillies rushed in and collided with Cheerilee and Love Tap. The four soon found themselves in a colorful heap as pony legs stuck out in all directions.

Cheerilee glared out at a pair of blue glasses that were now sitting on her snout. “Can I help you two?” she asked in an irritated tone from the bottom of the pony pile.

“YOU HAVE TO HIDE US!” Diamond Tiara cried.

From the top of the pile, Love Tap chuckled to herself and picked Diamond Tiara’s tiara off her head. She placed it on the young filly's head roughly; the gem-studded tiara fell over Diamond Tiara’s eyes. Love Tap then untangled herself from the mass of ponies.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon also untangled themselves from each other and Cheerilee. Diamond Tiara adjusted her tiara as she stood back on her hooves.

“Whom or what do you two need hiding from?” Cheerilee asked as she stood up and picked Silver Spoon’s glasses off her face with her forehooves. She gently passed them to Silver Spoon, who replaced them on her own face.

Diamond Tiara began to speak, “From Pink— Wait… Who’s that old lady standing next to you?”

One of Love Tap’s eyes began to twitch. “Old… old lady?” she growled out.

Cheerilee softly giggled to herself.

A pink-coated pony with a curly mane poked her head into the schoolhouse. “Hey! Did anypony see a pair of excited fillies running aro—Oh! There you two are! Come on! I’m all setup for us to play ‘Guess what Gummy ate’!”

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon put on panicked expressions.

“Uhh… We can’t!” Diamond Tiara cried.

“Right!” Silver Spoon said. “Because we have… uh… detention!”

Cheerilee looked at the girls quizzically. “You girls don’t—”

Pinkie frowned. “Oh no! What did you two do?”

“We picked on Button Mash for being a blank flank!” Diamond Tiara said.

Cheerilee glanced at Love Tap as the tan mare began to growl softly. “Grrrrrrrr…”

Silver Spoon nodded. “Right! And we totally haven’t learned our lesson yet!”

Cheerilee frowned. “But I already talked to you two, and—”

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon threw themselves in front of Cheerilee as they lowered themselves to their knees and back legs and pressed their forehooves together.

“Oh please let us stay for detention!” Diamond Tiara pleaded. “Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please!”

Silver Spoon nodded her head up and down vigorously. “We deserve to be punished more than just a lecture! You should put us in detention for at least a week!”

Diamond Tiara smiled and nodded her head up and down.

The foals in the classroom all giggled to themselves.

Love Tap smiled darkly to herself.

Cheerilee pursed her lips. “Well… if you two are sure… ”

“WE’RE SURE!” Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon said in unison as they rushed for a couple of desks in the front row.

Pinkie’s face changed to a pout briefly and then she suddenly smiled. “Oooo! Oooo! Why don’t I stay and keep you company! I mean… I know like… two dozen songs about not being mean to ponies because they’re different than you!”

Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Cheerilee all put on panicked expressions.

“I like songs!” Button said cheerfully.

“Me too!” Sweetie Belle added happily.

“Who doesn’t enjoy a good song?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Eh…” Scootaloo said with a shrug.

“THERE ARE NO ADULTS IN DETENTION!” Cheerilee cried.

Pinkie puffed out her lower lip and made a soft whimper.

“Then why was I in detention?” Love Tap cried in an irritated tone.

“YOU’RE STILL IN DETENTION!” Cheerilee shot back.

Love Tap glared at Cheerilee angrily. “BUT YOU JUST SAID—”

Diamond Tiara suddenly turned to Pinkie. “YOU HEARD MS. CHEERILEE! NO ADULTS IN DETENTION!”

“But best friend time!” Pinkie whined.

Silver Spoon spoke up, “You wouldn’t want to disobey a teacher, would you?”

Pinkie sighed and dug at the hardwood floor with a forehoof. “I guess not…”

Love Tap looked at Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, her lips began to slowly drift up revealing a dark, wicked smile as her eyes glinted. With the foals' attention focused on Pinkie Pie, they took no notice.

“Fine!” Scootaloo cried. “They can have detention! Can we go now?”

“Actually, I think it's best we stay,” Love Tap said as she made her way back towards the desks.

The four foals who were already midway through preparing to leave groaned.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon looked at the other foals with smug smiles.

“You can’t be serious!” Scootaloo cried.

“Now children,” Love Tap began, “I think it’s very important that you all learn that dangerous actions have consequences.”

Button raised a forehoof. “Even if those actions were approved and assisted with by an adult?”

Love Tap sighed as she returned to her desk next to her son and behind Diamond Tiara. “Yes, Button. Even if an adult helped bring about those dangerous actions.” She faced forward and grinned wickedly. “Of course there are consequences for bullying, too.”

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon’s eyes went wide as a shiver ran down their spines.

Cheerilee looked up with a concerned frown, her eyes drifting over the grinning Love Tap before she glanced at the two foals sitting in front of the tan mare. She slowly raised a book in front of her allowing her weary eyes to drift down to the words on the page.

Silver Spoon leaned over to Diamond Tiara. “I think that’s Button’s mom…” she said as quietly as she could.

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes, “Of course it’s Button’s mom! What other adult would be in detention?” she whispered back harshly. “Just be cool, maybe she’s not mad anymore…”

Silver Spoon raised an eyebrow. “You mean after you called her an ‘old lady’?”

Diamond Tiara flashed her friend a distressed look. “What do we do?!”

“‘Us’? She’s probably mostly mad at you!”

“You made fun of Button, too!”

“Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr…”

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon winced as they noticed the low pitched growl from Love Tap.

“Well we’re all in detention together,” Silver Spoon said. “It’s not like she can do anything here…”

“Never go to sleep alone…” A sinister-sounding voice whispered out in a sharp tone, like a distant predator's cry on the wind.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon unleashed an ear-splitting shriek. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!”

The other foals in the class all jumped, along with Cheerilee who stared up from her book.

“Girls! Keep quiet!” Cheerilee said sternly from the front. “This is detention!”

Diamond Tiara leaned close to Silver Spoon again. “Follow my lead…” She turned and stared at Button. “Button Mash? Look we’re really sorry we picked on you.”

Silver Spoon turned around her desk and nodded her head up and down. “Yeah! It wasn’t right for us to make fun of you just because you’re a blank—Ooff”

Diamond Tiara retracted her elbow from her friend’s side.

“I mean…” Silver Spoon continued, “because you don’t have your cutie mark.”

“Uh… thanks?” Button said in a confused tone. “I mean… you already apologized yesterday…”

“Well we doubly, super mean it today!” Diamond Tiara said.

Silver Spoon nodded her head up and down vigorously.

“Oh…” Button Mash smiled. “Gee, thanks!”

Sweetie Belle leaned forward and narrowed her eyes at Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. “Hey! How come we never get ‘doubly, super’ apologies?”

Cheerilee simply sighed and buried her face in her book.

“Yeah!” Apple Bloom said in a protesting tone. “Ya make fun of us all the time, and ya only say ye’re sorry when Miss Cheerilee makes you!”

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon grimaced and stared towards the front of the class where Cheerilee looked over her book just enough to shoot the pair an angry glare.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon quickly exchanged glances and began uttering a series of “erm..”s,“um…”s,“well…”s,and “That’s because…”s.

Scootaloo snickered. “Maybe they both like Button,” she suggested.

Love Tap began to cough and sputter.

“… Wait, what?” Button uttered in confusion.

Sweetie Belle’s eyes narrowed into tiny slits. “What?!” she squeaked out.

“We don’t like Button Mash!” Silver Spoon said hastily.

Button Mash frowned.

“Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…”

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon shot each other panicked looks as Love Tap began to growl behind them once more.

“She means we do like Button Mash!” Diamond Tiara cried.

Button Mash looked over at the two fillies in confusion. “So when you say like…”

A green glow began to emanate from beside Button Mash as Sweetie Belle’s horn lit up, she shot an icy stare out at Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

“Oh Celestia, why?!” Silver Spoon cried.

“We like Button Mash, but we don’t like, like him!” Diamond Tiara said.

“NO SHOOTING ANYPONY WITH MAGIC ENERGY BEAMS IN DETENTION!” Cheerilee cried.

“Sorry, Ms. Cheerilee,” Sweetie Belle replied as the glow from her horn faded, eventually ceasing altogether. She glanced at Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon briefly, and seemingly satisfied with Diamond Tiara’s previous statement, she returned to drawing.

The threat of being blasted by magical energy apparently avoided, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon seemed to relax visibly.

“I think… I think we’re safe…” Silver Spoon uttered quietly.

“Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…”

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon’s eyes went wide with worry as they looked behind them.

Love Tap pointed her turquoise eyes at Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon as if trying to bore holes through their heads with her vision.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon grimaced.

Silver Spoon leaned in close to Diamond Tiara. “No good! I think she sensed our apology was disingenuous!”

“Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…”

Diamond Tiara frowned. “What?”

“It means ‘insincere’,” Silver Spoon replied.

“… What?”

Silver Spoon sighed. “It means ‘dishonest’.”

Diamond Tiara frowned. “Like the opposite of honest?”

Silver Spoon rolled her eyes. “Yes, like that.”

“Well you should have said so in the first place!” Diamond Tiara snapped. And it probably doesn’t help that she’s right behind us and is probably listening in on everything we say…” Diamond Tiara replied as she narrowed her eyes.

“Well what do we do?!” Silver Spoon cried.

“Follow my lead…” Diamond Tiara said.

Silver Spoon rolled her eyes. “Right, because that worked so well before—”

“GIRLS!” Cheerilee cried. “QUIET DO—”

Diamond Tiara slammed her hooves on her desk as she sat up. “MS. CHEERILEE, SILVER SPOON AND I HAVE ANOTHER ANNOUNCEMENT!”

Cheerilee sighed. “What is it?”

Diamond Tiara continued to speak loudly, her voice monotone. “WE ARE VERY AND TRULY SORRY FOR ALL THE TIMES WE INSULTED AND HARASSED ANY AND ALL PONIES PRESENT!”

“Uhhhh… Yes,” Silver Spoon chimed in. “Please accept our heartfelt repentance.”

Diamond Tiara turned and gave Silver Spoon a blank look.

Silver Spoon sighed. “It means we feel penitent.”

“…”

Silver Spoon narrowed her eyes. “Remorseful…”

Beads of sweat began to form on Diamond Tiara’s face.

“Apologetic!” Silver Spoon growled out.

Diamond Tiara grinned nervously.

“‘SORRY’! OH MY GOSH! IT MEANS WE FEEL SORRY! WAS IT REALLY THAT HARD TO PICK UP FROM CONTEXT?!”

Diamond Tiara frowned. “Alright, now you’re just making up words to make me feel stupid…”

Cheerilee stared out into space with a blank, dead expression on her face.

Apple Bloom chimed in. “Uh, those are all real words,” she assured.

Diamond Tiara scowled at Apple Bloom. “Quiet blank fla—I MEAN THANK YOU APPLE BLOOM FOR YOUR INSIGHT! IT IS MUCH APPRECIATED!”

The other foals present all gave Diamond Tiara a weird look.

Sweetie Belle spoke up. “You kind of sound like a robot when you apologize or thank any of us…”

Button Mash turned to Sweetie Belle. “I was just going to say that!” he said with a grin. “Maybe she’s been replaced!”

Sweetie Belle grinned. “We should get a giant magnet to check…”

Love Tap looked over the chaos of the classroom and held her forehooves over her mouth as she desperately held a sadistic laugh at bay. This is going even better than when Iwas in school…

One of the windows to the class suddenly opened up as Pinkie appeared. “I have a giant magnet!” she said as she held up a giant, U-shaped magnet. “I always bring it along when I’m going to need to check for robots!”

Upon seeing Pinkie, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon began to shiver uncontrollably.

Button’s expression went blank. “Wait… how would you even know you were going to be checking for ro—?”

Cheerilee turned and shot Pinkie a rageful look. “YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?! HIDING IN THE BUSHES?!”

The corners of Pinkie’s lips slowly fell as her smile began to drown in a deep frown. As soon as the frown hit rock bottom her lips slowly curled up again as she uttered a long, fluctuating “NoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO~?”

Cheerilee smacked a forehoof against her face.

Pinkie slowly leaned sideways, disappearing behind the window frame. “Uh look… if anypony needs me, I’ll be not hiding in the bushes. So… I’ll just get back to not doing that—I mean back to totally doing that! ‘That’ being not hiding in the bushes…” Pinkie quickly darted her eyes back and forth over the classroom before disappearing entirely.

From the open window there was the sound of leaves rustling quickly followed by a quiet “Good job, me! A+!”

Quiet. A confused quiet in place because everypony is not quite sure what just transpired and are trying to figure it out.

The recently resurrected silence was once again brutally murdered as Scootaloo turned to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. “So if you’re both repetawhatever, does that mean you like us three, too?”

Diamond Tiara quickly and rapidly nodded her head up and down. “YES! WE DO! WE TOTALLY LIKE YOU THREE!”

“… We do?” Silver Spoon replied.

Diamond Tiara thrust her elbow into Silver Spoon’s side hard. Too hard, in fact. Silver Spoon fell sidewise out of her desk and fell to the floor with a soft ‘Thud!’ and “Oof!”

There was a brief silence before the other four foals present plus one adult in a desk all broke into a fit of laughter. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!”

Silver Spoon clambered back up, her glasses crooked on her face. “WHAT THE HAY?!”

The other foals gasped.

“NO SWEARING IN DETENTION EITHER!” Cheerilee cried. “AND NO HITTING!”

“But it was an accident!” Diamond Tiara cried. She turned to Silver Spoon. “Look! I’m really sorry, alright!”

Silver Spoon frowned as she adjusted her glasses. “Like… real sorry, or fake sorry?”

Diamond Tiara’s eyes widened. “OH CELESTIA RIDING A FLAMING CHARIOT! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT OUT LOUD?!”

Cheerilee felt her face go red hot as both her eyes began to twitch uncontrollably. “GIRLS, YOU NEED TO BE—”

Without warning one of the windows opened and Pinkie Pie poked her head back into the room. “Hey, it sounds fun in there!” she announced. “Are you sure I can’t…”

Cheerilee exploded, screaming at the top of her lungs. “EVERYPONY SHUT THE BU— BE QUIET AND SIT STILL UNTIL DETENTION IS OVER!”

Pinkie’s eyes widened in worry and she pursed her lips into a tight frown. “I’ll just go back to hiding in the bushes until detention is over…” She placed a hoof up to her mouth and whispered out, “... But don’t tell anypony that.”

Cheerilee sighed. Not a short relieved sigh or even an exasperated sigh, but a long, drawn out exhale of air almost like a death rattle as if her soul was attempting to escape her body via her mouth.

As soon as she was done exhaling, silence flooded the schoolhouse again. Nopony relaxed. Nopony went back to the tasks they were involved in minutes ago or picked up their books.

Quiet. Everyone knew the quiet was fragile and assuredly shorted lived. There was no calm nor peace in this quiet. The quiet was already dead; it just didn’t know it yet.

Love Tap cleared her throat and went in for the kill. “Do you children know what a ‘shiv’ is?”

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon felt a chill run through their bodies as if somepony had just trotted over their graves.

“I don’t!” Sweetie Belle answered cheerfully.

Cheerilee’s eyes went wide. “DETENTION DISMISSED!” she cried in a slightly panicked tone.

“But…!” Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon said in a protesting tone.

Cheerilee’s eyes shot open and she focused, red-vein-filled orbs of rage into her classroom. She pointed at the school door with a forehoof. “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

With a speed nopony thought possible, everypony packed up their belongings and galloped outside.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon fearfully scanned their surroundings as they exited the school while a wave of elation rippled from the other ponies leaving the classroom.

Button’s joy was quickly replaced with confusion as he stared at the shrubbery outside the school. “… Why does that bush have a nose and glasses?” He asked as he examined a bush that was indeed sporting a pair of glasses over its nose. He frowned. “And why does it get to wear a mustache while I don’t?”

“Oh Pinkie Pie~” Love Tap called with a catlike smile. “Detention is out early!”

“YAY!” Pinkie cried as she leapt from the bush, suddenly wearing a pair of glasses, a nose over her snoot, and a mustache.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon both let out a terrified shriek as they sprinted off.

“WAAAAAIT!” Pinkie cried as she gleefully bounded after the pair. “WE NEED TO CELEBRATE YOUR FREEDOM! THIS INVOLVES AN HOUR LONG HUG-A-THON!”

Button frowned slightly. “Gee… does anypony else feel a little sorry for those two?”

The three fillies and one mare present all quickly exchanged glances and shook their heads.

“Not really,” Sweetie Belle said.

“Nah,” Scootaloo added.

“Eeenope,” Apple Bloom uttered.

Love Tap smiled. “Don’t worry about it Button. How about I make dinner for everypony again?”

Button’s face lit up. “Can we have hay fries?!” he asked.

Love Tap smiled. “Of course, sweetie!”

Button smiled and stood on his hind legs, waving his forearms about. “YAY!”

The fillies present all smiled and cheered.

‘Crrrreeeeeeeaaaaa…’

The four foals and one adult turned as the schoolhouse door slowly closed. Cheerilee stared out at them, dark bags under her eyes and her usually slightly poofy mane looking wilted. Her ears hung limply around the side of her head and her tail seemed lifeless as she let it drag on the floor. She looked as if she had aged several years in about an hour.

‘…aaaaaaaak.’

The door shut quietly.

Quiet. Not a serene or tranquil quiet, but an uncomfortable one. A silence everyone wished would quickly go away. Banished like the deep pits in their stomachs.

Apple Bloom was the first to speak. “Poor Ms. Cheerilee…”

Sweetie Belle swallowed. “She’s not perfect, but… She really is such a nice teacher…” she said in a remorseful tone.

Scootaloo sighed. “Yeah…” she said in agreement.

Button Mash trotted up to his mom and stared up at her as she simply stared at the door. “Mom?”

Love Tap looked down at her son, knelt down so she was at his eye level and placed a forehoof on his shoulder. “Button, sweetie?”

“Yeah, mom?”

“Can you do something for me?”

Button nodded.

“Just… keep being a good boy in school… Keep getting along with your teacher.” Love Tap shook her head. “School’s not always going to be pleasant, but there’s no reason you have to make it worse for yourself or anypony else.” Love Tap looked deep into her son’s amber eyes with her turquoise ones. “I need you to be a better foal than I was…”

Button smiled. “Sure, mom.”

Love Tap smiled warmly. “Good boy,” she said as she wrapped her arms around her son. “You’re a much better child than I deserve.”

Button chuckled. “What are you talking about, mom? You’re a great mom!”

The three fillies present walked up to Love Tap.

“You really are!” Sweetie Belle said in agreement.

Scootaloo grinned. “You’re the second coolest adult I know!”

“An’ the best mom Ah know,” Apple Bloom said.

Love Tap’s eyes shot open wide as the children’s words ran through her like a shock and she felt something warm and moist pool right in front of her eyes. She slowly broke the embrace on Button. “Thank you… all of you… And what I said for Button goes for you three as well, alright? You be as nice as you can to Ms. Cheerilee.”

“Yes, ma’am!” the three foals responded.

Love Tap nodded. “Alright, all of you can head over to our house. I’ll see you there.”

Button Mash inhaled an enormous amount of air. “Can we play Super Smash Ponies when we get there?!”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo groaned. Sweetie Belle smiled wide.

“Of course, dear!”

“YAY!”

Cheerilee sighed as she stared at her desk. A small droplet of water dripped from her snout onto a small pool below quickly followed by another. “Why does discipline have to be so hard?” she uttered.

‘Knock, knock…’

Cheerilee winced almost as if the door itself was going to strike her. “I’M SORRY YOU TWO, BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE HERE!” she shouted. “I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW, ALRIGHT?!”

‘Knock, knock, knock…’

Cheerilee huffed and glared as the door as she got up from her desk and onto all fours. She trotted up the door and threw it open. “LOOK, I really need some time to…” Cheerilee’s emerald eyes went wide as she stared at the tan mare in front of her.

“I’m sorry,” Love Tap said without any hints of hesitation. “Can I… can I come in?” she asked. “I’ll understand if you say no.”

Cheerilee’s expression remained fixed as she slowly opened the door further and motioned for Love Tap to come inside.

Love Tap trotted in as Cheerilee closed the door behind her. Cheerilee quickly ran a forearm over her eyes before she turned to face Love Tap.

Love Tap nervously shifted her weight between her four legs. “Look… I know it’s not an excuse for how I acted, but… school wasn’t… school was never easy for me.”

Cheerilee said nothing.

Love Tap continued, “I was always getting into trouble. I didn’t mean to… I just…” she sighed and stared at the ground “… I just always had more energy than I knew what to do with and several hours of sitting in place was not a helpful way for me to deal with that… My teachers… well they all hated me, and every kid in class knew it. Some of the other kids would do things… things they knew they could blame on me, and then I’d get in trouble for stuff that had nothing to do with me… That just made things worse. I grew to hate a lot of my classmates, and my teachers too. So I’d be even worse than before… and I’d do my best to make school as hard for my teachers and the kids who took advantage of me as it was for me…” Love tap looked up. “And I carried all that anger, all that hate and I it brought into your class today and unleashed all of it on you, and I’m sorry.”

Cheerilee said nothing, only staring back at Love Tap as she mulled over her words.

Quiet. The kind of quiet where nopony knew what would happen next. Because it felt like anything could happen.

Cheerilee shook her head. “I don’t think your teachers hated you.”

Love Tap frowned. “Could have fooled me…”

“I think your teachers just wanted to see you excel, and maybe they didn’t know how to let you do that. And I’m sure that frustrated them. I know it would have frustrated me.”

It was Love Tap’s turn to be silent.

Cheerilee continued. “I think if your teachers saw you now they’d be proud. Proud at the fine mare you’ve grown up to be and maybe a little proud that they helped guide you there.” Cheerilee smiled. “I know I would be.”

Love Tap felt another shock to ripple through her at Cheerilee’s words. Love Tap felt more hot moisture pool around her eyes once more. “Ms— I mean... Cheerilee?”

“Yes?”

“Can I… would be alright if I hugged you?”

Cheerilee nodded. “Of course.”

Love Tap quickly closed the distance between the two mares and threw her arms around Cheerilee’s neck. She buried her face in Cheerilee’s magenta coat and began weeping openly. Releasing the weight of years’ worth of torment inflicted on and by her in the form of sobs that wracked her body.

Cheerilee wept, too. Her still raw emotions pouring out of her in the form of tears and cries as she wrapped her arms around Love Tap.

“Sniff… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” Love Tap said.

Cheerilee attempted to control her crying. “Hhehhh … It’s alright… I forgive you…”

“You’re… you’re the best teacher I ever had…”

Cheerilee uttered a sound as if she was trying to laugh and cry at the same time. “WHUOAHAHAHEhehe… Thank you… and you’re probably the best mother I’ve ever seen… to your own kids, and to others as well…”

Slowly, the two mares broke their embrace and faced each other, wiping tears away from their eyes.

“Friends?” Love Tap asked as she extended a hoof.

Cheerilee slowly raised her hoof and gently tapped Love Tap’s hoof. “Friends.”

The two mares lowered their legs back the floor.

“Uh… so…” Love Tap began immediately desperate to quell any awkward silence before it had a chance to set in. “The kids and I are going to have dinner at my house. Would you like to join us?”

Cheerilee smiled wide and nodded. “I’d love to,” she trotted to the schoolhouse door and opened it. Love Tap trotted out and Cheerilee followed, closing the door behind her.

The two mares walked down the path from the school as Celestia slowly lowered the sun past the horizon.

“Love Tap?” Cheerilee called out.

“Hmmmm?”

“Next time you disagree with how I handle a situation at school, can you please, please, please just come down to the school and yell at me like every other parent?”

Love Tap chuckled. “Hehehehe… Can I at least bring fireworks to help announce my presence?”

Cheerilee guffawed as she trotted along. “Hahaha… That would be acceptable.”

Love Tap smiled. “Alright, it’s a deal…”

The two mares trotted onward in silence.

Quiet. A calm, peaceful, serene quiet where everything was at ease and everything was as it should be.

Jump to top

Chapter 15: Surprise Confession

The SweetieMash ChroniclesChapter 15: Surprise Confession-oooooooo-

Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom walked down a worn Ponyville path. The three paid no attention to the warm sun above them or the gentle breeze that blew in. The weather of the day, like many days in Ponyville, was about as close to perfection as one could imagine. However, the three fillies were far too engrossed in their own conversations and thoughts to even so much as acknowledge the wonderful weather Rainbow Dash and the other weather ponies had created.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom walked along engaged in what was one of their favorite topics, or at least one they found themselves discussing on a near daily basis: What would the three try today to get their cutie marks?

“Clock tower repair!” Apple Bloom suggested.

Scootaloo cocked her head slightly. “Pretty sure we’re still banned from the clock tower after we tried to become ‘Cutie Mark Crusader Time Travelers’.”

“Oh, right…” Apple Bloom replied. “Erm… fire fighters?”

“Nope, tried that… Like twice officially and a bunch of times unofficially! And you can forget about cutie marks in starting fires. If that was our destiny, we’d have our cutie marks already!”

“Well, you suggest something then.”

Scootaloo hummed to herself as she continued trotting along. “Hmmmmm…” She smiled. “Extreme sports!”

Apple Bloom dropped her eyelids slightly. “We tried that already too! I swore I’d never put on another set of roller-blades ever again and I think Sweetie Belle still has nightmares about skateboards.”

Scootaloo scrunched her lips to the side of her face. “Extreme sports animal trainers.”

“So that’s like… we train animals how to skateboard?” Apple Bloom suggested.

Scootaloo nodded her head up and down. “And do cool kick flips and stuff!”

“Why, that sounds adorable and really fun!” She frowned as her expression turned serious. “But is there anypony who will still let us borrow their pets?”

“Uuuuuhhh…” Scootaloo smiled as her eyes lit up. “Fluttershy would probably loan us a few animals.”

Apple Bloom frowned. “But do we really want to talk animals with Fluttershy after the last time we worked with them?”

-ooooooo-<

“Ah now pronounce you ‘Rooster and Hen!’” Apple Bloom said as she stood in front of large rooster with red and brown plumage and a white hen. “Alright ya’ll,” Apple Bloom said as she closed the book. “Ya may kiss and stuff.”

“BAGOCK!” The rooster cried as it began rubbing itself affectionately against Scootaloo.

“Not me!” Scootaloo cried as she pushed the rooster away. “Your bride is that way!” Scootaloo cried as she pointed to the white chicken.

Sandwiched next to the chicken and another white chicken, Sweetie Belle wiped tears away from her eyes. She turned away from the ‘bride’ to the other chicken next to her. “I always cry at weddings,” she said.

The chicken next to her merely turned and clucked a few times in reply.

“Girls! What are you doing?” Fluttershy cried as she trotted out into her fenced-off hen area. Twilight followed close behind with an inquisitive expression on her face.

Apple Bloom smiled. “We’re trying to get our cutie mark in animal husbandry!” she cried.

“I’m the best mare!” Scootaloo said.

“And I’m a bridesmare!” Sweetie Belle said as she stood in a line of white chickens. “Or… brideshen, I guess…”

“Animal husbandry?” Twilight asked.

Apple Bloom nodded her head up and down. “When we heard about it, we figured we could try marrying some of Fluttershy’s chickens to each other!”

Twilight and Fluttershy exchanged quick glances and began laughing. “Ahahahahahaha…!”

Scootaloo frowned. “And just what is so—” The rooster wandered up to her once more and began emphatically rubbing itself against her “—Get off me!” Scootaloo cried as she pushed the rooster away. “Just what’s so funny?”

Twilight smiled. “… Hehehehe… Girls! That’s not what animal husbandry means!”

“It’s not?” the three fillies asked in a disappointed tone.

Twilight shook her head. “Animal husbandry is about matching up animals who have desirable traits so the next generation will carry on those traits!”

Sweetie Belle puffed out her lower lip. “But isn’t the animals deciding they have lots of things in common with each other and love each other important, too?”

The rooster once again approached Scootaloo and she pushed it away. “Go away!”

Apple Bloom sighed. “Ah guess it’s just as well. Ah think Mr. Rooster likes Scootaloo more anyhow.”

Sweetie Belle’s face lit up. “Hey! Maybe we should marry Scoot—”

“I will deck you!” Scootaloo said in a warning tone.

Sweetie Belle looked at Scootaloo. “Just how bad do you want your cutie mark?”

“Not bad enough to marry livestock!” Scootaloo replied.

The rooster uttered a sorrowful “Bagock…” and wandered away.

Fluttershy giggled quietly to herself. “Girls, animal husbandry doesn’t involve marrying the animals.”

Apple Bloom spoke up. “But Twilight jus’ said the animals are paired up together!”

Twilight smiled. “Well, that’s just because you need a male and the female of the species to breed.”

The three fillies turned and looked at each other.

“Breed?” Sweetie Belle said in confusion.

“Uh… Twilight…?” Fluttershy said in a concerned tone.

Twilight nodded. “Yep! Though with modern practices, the pair needn’t even mate.”

The corners of Fluttershy’s mouth pulled downward. “… Twilight…?” she uttered as her voice grew quieter but slightly more panicky.

“… Wait? Mate?” Scootaloo said in a confused tone. “I thought mating involved the animals being married?”

“No, no, no, no, no.” Twilight replied as she waved her forehoofs about in front of her. “You see there’s also artificial…”

-o~Ten minutes of explanation later complete with stick and dirt drawn diagrams later…~o-

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The three fillies screamed at the top of their lungs as Fluttershy hastily wiped away the diagrams on the ground with her wings.

“Twilight, what were you thinking?!” Fluttershy cried.

“What?!” Twilight said in a protesting tone. “I was just imparting information! How was I supposed to know they’d react like this?!”

“Twilight, they’re eight!” Fluttershy reminded.

“…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…!”

“So?!” Twilight said. “I read about this when I was six and I was okay with it!” Twilight frowned and tapped at her chin thoughtfully.

“Although, Shining Armor had a similar reaction when I told him about it that night, come to think of it…”

Fluttershy gasped. “I’m surprised your parents even let you read a book on animal husbandry at a young age!” Fluttershy exclaimed.

Twilight blushed slightly. “I uh… I had read pretty much everything else in the house and wouldn’t leave my parents alone until they gave my something else to read… I guess my dad was a little desperate…”

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHhhhhaaaawwww…” Sweetie Belle said as she walked up to the two mares. “Is that it?”

Twilight and Fluttershy stared down at her and turned back to the other two fillies.

“…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…!”

They turned back to Sweetie Belle.

“Aren’t you traumatized like the other two?” Fluttershy asked.

Sweetie Belle shook her head. “I just felt left out is all… I mean, that wasn’t any worse than when I bugged Rarity to tell me about where foals come from.”

Fluttershy gasped. “Oh my.”

Twilight eyes went wide. “What?! When did she tell you?! How old were you? Four?!” Twilight gulped. “Three?” she asked as he eyes shrank to the size of pinpricks.

“This was like… a year ago,” Sweetie Belle said.

Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. “Phew… For a moment there I thought Rarity might have done something that would have left a horrible mental scar on your psyche!”

Fluttershy’s eyes went wide. “I think… I think I need some tea…” she said simply as she walked away, her eyes glazed and unfocused.

“…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…!”

<-ooooooo->

Apple Bloom sighed. “Something that doesn’t involve animals then…”

Scootaloo chuckled. “Clocktower repair, in spaaaaaaaace!”

Apple Bloom narrowed her eyes slightly. “Ya can just say yer out of ideas!”

“Fire fighters, in spaaaaaaace!”

“Alright, Ah get it!” Apple Bloom said. “Also, there’s no fire in space, ‘cause there’s no oxygen to burn.”

“Oh…” Scootaloo replied. “Nerd,” she uttered quietly under her breath.

Apple Bloom narrowed her eyes. “Didn’t quite catch that.”

“Uh… I guess we ask Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo said in an unsure tone.

Apple Bloom frowned. “Well… Ah guess you and I are outa ideas… I mean… it can’t hurt to ask…”

Scootaloo nodded. “Good idea! We’ll lie to ourselves! That way we’ll skip out on all the soul-crushing dread from even thinking about a Sweetie Belle idea.”

Apple Bloom gave an exasperated sigh.

“Yo! Sweetie Belle!” Scootaloo said as she turned to her friend. “Idea time! Go!”

Sweetie Belle said nothing as she simply continued to trot, staring off into space.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged a quick glance.

“Equestria to Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo said.

“Hmmm?” Sweetie Belle said as she turned towards Scootaloo.

“Were tryin’ to get some crusading ideas,” Apple Bloom explained.

Sweetie Belle frowned. “And you’re asking me?!”

Scootaloo nodded solemnly. “I’m afraid so…”

“Uhhh… We should… video games… French toast…”

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “Sweetie Belle, that wasn’t even a sentence.”

Scootaloo chuckled. “Sounds like somepony has a certain brown colt on her mind.”

Sweetie Belle furrowed her brow at Scootaloo. “I do propeller hat— I mean not!”

Scootaloo shook her head. “I don’t get you… Just go up and talk to him! Tell him how you feel!”

Sweetie Belle sighed. “I kinda already did…”

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom exchanged surprised looks. “Really?!” they asked in unison.

“Well…sorta…” Sweetie Belle said.

Scootaloo pursed her lips slightly and narrowed her eyes. “How do you sorta tell somepony you like them?”

“Well, I just told Button I thought he was cute…”

Apple Bloom turned to Scootaloo. “Does that even count?”

Scootaloo shrugged. “It’s a start…” She turned back to Sweetie Belle. “How’d he react?”

“Well… he started to tell me he really liked something…”

“‘Somethin’’?” Apple Bloom asked.

Sweetie Belle nodded. “And then Scootaloo came up and interrupted him…”

Scootaloo frowned. “What? When was this?”

“Right before we started hiding from Ms. Cheerilee,” Sweetie Belle explained.

“Oh, so I did you a favor then,” Scootaloo said.

Sweetie Belle frowned. “Well it would have been nice if you had been just a few seconds later!”

“How the heck was I supposed to know you two were getting all kissy face with each other?!”

“We weren’t getting all kissy face!” Sweetie Belle cried. “Button was just trying to tell me he liked something!”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Like you?”

“I don’t know that for sure!” Sweetie Belle cried.

“Seriously?” Scootaloo replied.

Apple Bloom spoke up. “Well if ya don’t think he was gonna say he liked you, what do you think he was going to say?”

“Maybe he was going to tell me about a video game he really liked!”

There was a brief pause as Scootaloo and Apple Bloom just stared at Sweetie Belle with blank expression.

“… What?” Scootaloo replied flatly.

“Why would Button jus’ tell you about a video game he likes after you tell him ya think he’s cute?!” Apple Bloom said.

“I don’t know!” Sweetie Belle cried. “But I mean… Even I can tell he’s a little weird! He might have!”

“Huh… she has a point,” Scootaloo said.

“Yeah, but…” Apple Bloom turned back to Sweetie Belle. “Ah mean, Button still goes out of his way to spend lots of time with ya! Ya should really just tell him how ya feel!”

“But what if he doesn't like me?!” Sweetie Belle cried.

“That’s stupid!” Scootaloo replied. “You’re stupid! Of course he likes you.”

“Ah’m with Scootaloo on this,” Apple Bloom said. “Ah mean, I think it’s pretty obvious Button Mash has really taken a liking to you!”

“Fine!” Sweetie Belle huffed out. “But what if he doesn’t like, like, like me?!”

Scootaloo knitted her eyebrows slightly. “You mean, what if he like… only like, likes you?”

“Or even just only likes me!” Sweetie Belle squeaked out.

Scootaloo thought about this. “Well, that’s like… How he likes me and Apple Bloom—”

“You mean, ‘Apple Bloom and me’,” Apple Bloom corrected.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “… Apple Bloom and me, and we know he likes you more than that! He’s got to at least like… like, like you!”

Sweetie Belle frowned. “Wait, I thought we knew I like, like, liked Button Mash but he might only like, like me.”

“I just said that!” Scootaloo huffed out.

“No, ya said ‘like, like, like’,” Apple Bloom replied.

“No I…” Scootaloo stopped and thought about this for a moment. “Alright, I did say the word ‘like’ three times, but I like meant like just saying like then saying ‘like, like.’ Get it?”

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom exchanged confused glances then turned back to Scootaloo.

“Not at all,” Sweetie Belle said.

“Alright, Ah think we need to start watching how we use the word ‘like’. Ah’m having a bit o’ trouble followin’ the conversation at this point.”

“Look!” Sweetie Belle said. “What if he only like, likes me!” Sweetie Belle put on a slightly panicked expression. “What if he feels pressured by my feelings?! Smothered even! All because of my overabundance of like for him!”

“Is that even a thing?” Apple Bloom asked.

“It could be!” Sweetie Belle cried. “I’m not sure I can take that chance.”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Look if he like, likes you, I’m sure he could learn to like, like, like you given time!”

“But what if he doesn’t?!” Sweetie Belle cried, her voice becoming increasingly panicky and shrill. “What if he figures out he can’t get past like, like and then we’re both trapped in this uneven relationship of like?!”

Scootaloo stared up as her brow went down. “How does… how does that even work?”

Apple Bloom spoke up, “Ya mean like when you’re on the see-saw with somepony who’s either a lot bigger or smaller than ya and it’s really hard to go up and down, but neither pony wants to be the one to suggest it’s not working, so ye’re both just stuck awkwardly trying to work out a good see-saw rhythm until recess is finally over?”

Scootaloo cocked an eyebrow at Apple Bloom.

Apple Bloom sighed. “Ah get stuck on the see-saw with Pip a lot…”

Sweetie Belle nodded as she pointed a forehoof at Apple Bloom. “Yes! That! Exactly like that! And I’d be the fat pony in this case!”

“Hey!” Apple Bloom cried in a protesting tone.

Scootaloo’s face contorted in confusion. “Wait, did you just call Apple Bloom fat?”

Apple Bloom turned and furrowed her brow at Scootaloo.

“What?!” Scootaloo cried as she motioned out to Sweetie Belle with a forehoof. “She’s the one calling ponies fat!”

“I’m not calling anypony fat!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. “I’m just trying to figure out what I say to Button Mash!”

“My suggestion is that you don’t call him fat,” Scootaloo said.

“I’m not— He’s not—I wouldn’t— UUUUUHHHHHHGGG!”

The trio of fillies started to encroach on the large treehouse in front of them.

“Look,” Scootaloo began as she trotted out in front of the girls. “This is really, super easy!” The other two fillies stopped as Scootaloo stood on her hind legs. “You just flutter your eyelids like this!” Scootaloo fluttered her eyelids as she held her forehooves together next to her chin. “Place a hoof on your forehead.” Scootaloo glanced up briefly as she raised a hoof to her forehead. “Then you prance around for dramatic effect.” She twirled a few times and caught herself on the trunk of the tree. “Then you say, ‘Button Mash! I adore you! You’d make me the happiest girl in all Equestria if only you’d become my special somepony!’”

“Scootaloo?!” a familiar voice called from the other side of the tree.

The trio of fillie’s eyes all went wide. Sweetie Belle’s mouth slowly opened as a quiet squeak escaped and her lower jaw sat unhinged.

Scootaloo gulped and slowly moved her head forward to see what was on the other side of the tree, fearful for what she expected to find. Her worst fear was realized as she saw a brown colt wearing a propeller beanie stare back at her.

The rectangular device emitted an angry tone. Normally this would cause a reaction from Button or a cry of some sort, but he didn’t even acknowledge the device in his hooves. He simply stared wide-eyed at the orange filly in front of him.

“HI, BUTTON!” Scootaloo cried. “FANCY SEEING YOU HERE!”

“Uh… Hi Scootaloo…” Button replied. He slowly stood up to his hooves, paying no attention to his Joyboy as it hit the ground. “I think… I think I have to go… because… the cat’s got my homework…. and… hay fries…” he uttered. With that, Button turned and broke into a gallop. Quickly putting distance between himself and the tree with a dazed expression on his face.

“Right…” Scootaloo uttered to open air. “See you later…” she hung her head and sighed. “Sweetie Belle, I’m sorry.” She turned, oblivious that there was a green glow behind her that was quickly growing in intensity. “It was an accide—SWEET CELESTIA, SAVE ME!” she cried as she locked eyes with the furious-looking unicorn in front of her, Sweetie Belle’s horn already humming with violent looking energy that swirled around her horn.

“Run! Jus’ run!” Apple Bloom cried. “I’ll try to hold her back.”

“But I didn’t mean…”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…!” Sweetie Belle let out a high pitched screeched as she aimed her horn.

Apple Bloom quickly leapt on her and tried to talk some sense into her. “Sweetie Belle! Stop! She didn’ mean to…!”

“I’M RUNNING! I’M RUNNING!” Scootaloo cried as she broke into a gallop at top speed.

Green bolts of energy fired off from Sweetie Belle’s horn. Scootaloo could smell the burning plasma in the air and hear the magical energy crackle as zipped past her, narrowly missing her and flying off into the air and ground in front of her.

‘PHOOOOOMCHH! PHOOOOMCHH!’

“…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…!”

“Sweetie Belle!” Apple Bloom cried as she wrapped her arms around Sweetie Belle’s neck and attempted to get her to cease her firing. “That’s Scootaloo yer shootin’ at! She’s yer oldest, bestest friend!”

‘PHOOOOOMCHH! PHOOOOMCHH!’

“WHHHHHHHYYYYYYY!?” Scootaloo cried.

Jump to top

Chapter 16: Damage Control

The SweetieMash ChroniclesChapter 16: Damage Control

If one were to describe the atmosphere inside the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ clubhouse in a single word, ‘tense’ would likely cover it nicely. Despite the hours spent coming up with and barely thinking through activities of questionable safety and the fights the three present members of the club sometimes found themselves in, tense moments were exceedingly rare. Questions regarding the safety of an idea were almost never brought up until it was far too late to do anything about it, and fights were often quick tussles where the three found themselves laughing in a heap almost as soon as the conflict had begun.

The current situation felt very different from those moments. Rather than the quick build-up that ended in the three leaving off for some ill-thought out adventure or having at each other with flailing hooves, things were unnervingly quiet.

Scootaloo stared at Sweetie Belle with a smoldering expression as Sweetie Belle stared back at her. Sweetie Belle’s head was tilted downwards slightly as she looked on with a half-apologetic, half-frightful look. Apple Bloom stood almost between the two, just a few feet out of their direct line of vision. The whole setup left the three feeling as if the air was hot, but slightly stagnant, like water just a few degrees off from the boiling point.

Scootaloo spoke up, speaking slowly at first and enunciated every syllable of speech, “So… rhetorically—”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle exchanged a quick, confused glance.

“—what the heck did you think you were doing?!”

Sweetie Belle frowned. “I wasn’t thinking!”

“Obviously!” Scootaloo cried angrily.

Sweetie Belle’s eyes widened and she wilted slightly at Scootaloo’s harsh tone.

Scootaloo continued, “I mean… How could you just start shooting magic at me like that?! How stupid do you have to be to just lose your head and start doing something so crazy?!”

Sweetie Belle said nothing, and stared at the hardwood floor of the clubhouse. She scratched at the floor lightly with a hoof and opened her mouth, but only a few errant squeaks came out.

Apple Bloom took a couple steps forward. “Now there’s no need for name insultin’,” she said in a calm tone. “Ah mean, let’s not copy a crooked crop line jus’ to make it look like everything’s straight.”

Sweetie Belle whimpered slightly.

Scootaloo uttered a slightly disgusted grunt before speaking, “Uhg… You sound just like your sister.”

Apple Bloom frowned. “And just what in the hay is wrong with that?!”

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow. “She’s kind of a no-nonsense killjoy?”

“You take that back!” Apple Bloom yelled.

“Wait!” Sweetie Belle cried. “Don’t fight guys!” She lowered her head once more. “It’s me who should be yelled at here…”

The group went silent again at Sweetie Belle’s words. Quiet but tense once again, still right below the boiling point.

Apple Bloom spoke up, “Now don’t go beatin’ yourself up over all this!”

Scootaloo nodded. “Yeah, you can let me do that for you.”

Sweetie Belle let out a soft, somewhat frightened-sounding whimper as Apple Bloom turned and glowered at Scootaloo.

“Scootaloo!” Apple Bloom snapped. “There’s no need for that sort’a talk! It’s not like she actually hit ya with any of her magic beams.”

Scootaloo furrowed her brow. “Oh you think? Let’s just rhetorically think for a second that she did hit me.”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle stared at Scootaloo again with confused expressions then turned towards each other as if the other one had some sort of explanation. Seeing their own expressions mirrored back at them, they both turned and faced Scootaloo once more.

Scootaloo extended her rather small wings to their full wingspan. The very tips were singed and blackened.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle’s eyes went wide as they stared at Scootaloo’s damaged wing tips. The two fillies’ minds reeled as they attempted to find a suitable response to convey the degree of sympathy they both fe—

“Pfffft… AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!” Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom burst into laughter at the sight in front of them.

“Oh, what the heck, guys!” Scootaloo cried.

Apple Bloom fought past her laughter to respond. “Your wings have… HAHAHAHA… jus’ the worst luck ever!”

Sweetie Belle nodded her head up and down. “HAHAHAHAHA… I know, right?!”

Scootaloo narrowed her eyes. “You guys are wads. I’m going to have to preen all of these! Do you know how much effort it takes for me to even reach my tiny wings?!”

“HAHAHAHAHA…” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle suddenly paused and frowned.

“Scootaloo,” Sweetie Belle said, “we’re not pegasuses.”

Apple Bloom turned towards Sweetie Belle with a frown and narrowed eyes. “You mean, ‘we’re not pegasi’!”

“Yeah, that either!”

Scootaloo crinkled her brow. “Well, obviously! I was being rhetorical!”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle exchanged yet another confused glance.

“You keep using that word!” Apple Bloom said. “Ah don’t think it means what you think it means.”

Sweetie Belle nodded her head up and down in agreement.

“Oh, forget this!” Scootaloo cried. “I’ve been blasted and made fun of enough for one day! I’m going home!” she declared as she closed her wings and began trotting to the door.

“Scootaloo, wait!” Sweetie Belle cried in a pleading tone.

Scootaloo paused.

“I’m really, really sorry for what I did!” Sweetie Belle said. “You’re my oldest friend and I actually shot magic at you!”

Scootaloo turned to face Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle continued, “…I just… It’s just… My head gets all foggy when it comes to Button and then I don’t think so good!”

“You mean ‘well’,” Apple Bloom corrected.

“Right, I don’t think well-good.”

Apple Bloom sighed and hung her head.

Sweetie Belle continued, “So when something Button-related makes me upset I tend to lose my head a bit…”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “You don’t say?” she said sarcastically.

Sweetie Belle squeaked out a whimper in response.

“Look,” Apple Bloom began as she looked at Sweetie Belle, “we know you really like Button Mash.”

“Hold up,” Scootaloo said. “We know she like, like, likes Button Mash.”

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “Do we really need to go into that level of detail, here?”

Scootaloo nodded and extended her wings once more. “Saying she ‘really likes’”—Scootaloo air quoted with both her forehooves and singed wings—“Button Mash would be like… a like and a half.”

“Oh!” Apple Bloom said. “You mean like, between like and like, like!”

Scootaloo nodded. “Right, exactly like that!”

“STOP SAYING ‘LIKE’!” Sweetie Belle shrieked.

“But—” Scootaloo and Apple Bloom said in unison.

“No ‘but’s!” Sweetie Belle cried. “I’m having a hard enough time thinking of what to do about Button without having to untangle weird sentence arrangement stuff…”

“Syntax,” Apple Bloom informed.

“Yeah, that thing!” Sweetie Belle said as she pointed a forehoof at Apple Bloom. “Besides, you were complaining about it earlier!”

Apple Bloom shrugged. “Ah guess Ah jus’ sorta worked out all the syntax out in my head.”

Scootaloo looked at Apple Bloom and smirked. “You keep using that word, I don’t think it means what you think it means.”

Apple Bloom narrowed her eyes at Scootaloo. “Use ‘syntax’ in a sentence.”

“Uh…” Scootaloo shifted her eyes back and forth nervously. “I uh…” Scootaloo cleared her throat. “Ms. Cheerilee got upset with me because I didn’t finish my syntax homework.”

“Hey, that’s cheatin’!” Apple Bloom cried.

“What!” Scootaloo protested. “My sentence arrangement stuff made sense, didn’t it?!”

Apple Bloom scowled at Scootaloo. “Yer just lucky I can’t shoot magic at you.”

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle grimaced.

“Whoops…” Apple Bloom said. “Sorry, Scootaloo…” she said sheepishly.

Scootaloo looked up with a scowl at both Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. The two swallowed and said nothing. The air felt warm and thick and once more the two found themselves just a little bit frightened for what might come next.

“THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?!”Scootaloo snapped angrily. “DO YOU THINK IT’S FUNNY I WAS BEING SHOT AT?! DO YOU TWO KNOW HOW SCARY IT IS TO HAVE SOMEONE ACTUALLY SHOOT MAGIC AT YOU?!”

Sweetie Belle’s eyes went wide and she looked down at the floor. She dug at the hardwood with a forehoof a couple more times and said nothing.

Apple Bloom lowered her head slightly, but continued to look at Scootaloo with a sheepish look. “Scootaloo… Ah’m sorry, Ah got a mite bit frustrated and said something Ah shouldn’t have.”

Scootaloo paused and looked at Apple Bloom and sighed. “Alright, I get it, yeah… Let’s not go making crooked crop lines or whatever…” She turned towards Sweetie Belle and slowly trotted up to her. “Uh… look… I didn’t mean to yell at you like that…”

Sweetie Belle looked up with a slightly hopeful expression.

Apple Bloom smiled slightly. “… Aaaaaand?”

“Apple Bloom, stop helping,” Scootaloo said. “It’s kind of annoying.”

“Right, sorry,” Apple Bloom said.

Scootaloo sighed as she focused her attention back on Sweetie Belle. “You’re forgiven, ‘kay? Just please don’t go all crazy on me and try to magic me into a pile of ashes again, a’ight?”

Sweetie Belle suddenly smiled and quickly threw her arms around Scootaloo.

“Oof!” Scootaloo exclaimed. She rolled her eyes but returned the affection nonetheless. “Alright, alright…” She said as she patted Sweetie Belle’s back. “Oof!” Scootaloo looked up with a somewhat annoyed expression at Apple Bloom, who had decided to turn the hug between the orange Pegasus and Sweetie Belle into a group hug. “Uhg! Alright! We’re friends again… you two can stop with the mushy stuff.”

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom broke the embrace and gave Scootaloo big, happy grins.

“Great!” Scootaloo said as she turned from the two and began trotting about the clubhouse. “Now that that’s settled, we can go back to figuring out how to get our cutie marks.”

“WHAT?!” Sweetie Belle cried. “Button still thinks you like him! We still have to do something about that!”

“We?!” Scootaloo cried. “How come we have to do something? It’s you who still needs to confess!”

“Yeah, but you confessed first!” Sweetie Belle squeaked out angrily at she took a couple steps closer to Scootaloo.

“Yes, but I didn’t mean to!” Scootaloo replied as she likewise closed the distance between her and Sweetie Belle.

“So! We still need to figure out what to do about it!”

“We?!” Scootaloo flung her arms out to her sides. “Why do we have to do anything?! Just tell Button how you feel!”

“It’s not as easy as all that!” Sweetie Belle insisted. “We need to figure out what to do about what you said to Button and then I need help figuring out what I need to say to Button…”

Scootaloo sighed. “Why don’t we skip the first part and you just tell him how you feel? He’ll probably forget all about my dumb, not-real-at-all confession after that, anyhow.”

Sweetie Belle shook her head. “No way! I bet he’ll just become nervous because he knows he can’t say he likes one of us without hurting the other one’s feelings!”

“She kinda has a point, Ah think…” Apple Bloom said.

“Seriously?!” Scootaloo cried as she turned to Apple Bloom. “But I don’t even like him!”

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “Ah thought we all liked him…”

“Alright, but I don’t even like, like him.”

Sweetie Belle’s eye twitched.

“Well,” Apple Bloom said, “do ya at least really like Button?”

Scootaloo frowned. “Uh… no, I don’t think I do… Maybe we need like… like a ‘like’ that’s between like and really like.... like…. really kinda like.”

“ENOUGH ALREADY!” Sweetie Belle shrieked. “The word ‘like’ has lost almost all meaning to me at this point!” She placed her forehooves on either side of her head. “I’m not sure if I even like or like, like, like Button anymore! I don’t even know that means!”

Scootaloo frowned. “Maybe we need to explain it better…”

“Ah know!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “I can make a chart!”

“Hey, yeah!” Scootaloo replied as she pointed a forehoof at Apple Bloom. “Heck! Maybe we’ll even get our cutie marks in sentence-arrangement-whatever-stuff!”

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes as she muttered to herself and trotted over to a box of construction paper and art supplies.

Sweetie Belle uttered a heavy sigh and collapsed to the floor, her legs sprawled out in all directions.

“Good idea!” Scootaloo said as Sweetie Belle collapsed. “Make yourself comfortable while Apple Bloom and I work this out…”

Button Mash pushed open the door to his home, a slightly dazed look still on his face as he half-stumbled inside. He trotted onto a blue carpet and followed it down a short hall past beige-colored walls and framed pictures towards a door across from a potted plant.

“Mom?” Button called out.

“What is it, sweetie?” Love Tap replied from the room down the hall.

Button made his way up to the room, a combined kitchen and dining room where his mother sat at the table.

Love Tap sat down the book in front of her and looked up to smile at her son. Her saddlebags laid neatly set beside the fridge, indicating she had finished shopping that day and had put everything away already.

“I think I have girl troubles,” Button said as he stood in front of the doorway.

Love Tap paused briefly as she thought about her son’s words. “Do you mean troubles specifically dealing with a girl and her feelings, or just troubles because all your friends are girls who get into trouble nearly constantly?”

“Uhhh… The first one,” Button replied.

Love Tap chuckled to herself and got onto all fours as she trotted over to her son. “Alright, dear. Go ahead and tell mommy what this is all about.”

“Well… one of my friends just said they adored me and wanted me to be their ‘special somepony’.”

Love Tap smiled. “Well you’re a very special colt. It’s no surprise someone else would notice…”

“I guess so…” Button said in an unsure tone.

Love Tap raised a forehoof and gently caressed Button’s face. “So, one of your friends told you that they want you to be their special somepony. How did that make you feel?”

“I’m not… I’m not sure… I guess… I guess I’m kind of flattered… but I’m not sure I feel the same way about her…”

Love Tap’s smile faded ever so slightly, but she continued to look at her son warmly. “Well, you’re both young. You and Sweetie Belle have lots of time to work out your—”

Button shook his head. “It wasn’t Sweetie Belle…”

“—feelings…” Love Tap simply stared at Button as her smile seemed to melt away into a confused mess on her face. “It… it wasn’t?” she asked in a tone to match her new expression.

“Nope,” Button confirmed. “It was Scootaloo.”

Love Tap blinked a few times. “Wait… Scootaloo?!” she cried in disbelief. “Orange pegasus, with a fuchsia-colored mane who rides around on a scooter?!” Love Tap said as she pointed to her own mane and mimed riding a scooter. “That Scootaloo?!”

Button frowned. “Is there another Scootaloo I don’t know about?”

“Just making sure we’re talking about the right pony,” Love Tap said.

“I know what my friends look like, mom,” Button said as he narrowed his eyes slightly.

“Okay, but she confessed to you?!”

Button nodded his head up and down. “Uh-huh…”

“I… okay…” Love Tap said as she trailed off.

“Well, what should I do?”

“Uh… I guess… Well, you two should work out your feelings for one another…?” Love Tap replied in questioning tone as if she herself was debating the merit of her own statement.

“Alright…” Button replied. “How do we do that?”

“Uhhh… Right! How do you… How do you do that…” Love Tap trailed off as she stared off into space and tapped a forehoof against her chin. After a brief moment she looked back at Button Mash. “…You’re sure it was Scootaloo?”

Button sighed. “I’m going up to my room to play video games,” he announced as he turned and trotted off down the hallway.

“WAIT!” Love Tap cried. “I mean… do you know for sure it was an orange pegasus with a fuchsia-colored mane?!”

“Yes, mom!” Button shouted back in a slightly annoyed tone.

“I’m just saying, you might be colorblind, sweetie!” Love Tap shouted as she poked her head past the door and shouted down the hall. “Maybe we should take you to see the eye doctor!”

“I ONLY HAVE ONE FRIEND WITH WINGS!” Button Mash called back.

“Oh… right…” Love Tap said to herself as she thought about this. “Uh… I guess… I’ll just start on dinner…” she half mumbled to herself. “… And try to figure out what the heck is going on…”

Jump to top

Chapter 17: Confessions, Conundrums, and Carrots

The SweetieMash ChroniclesChapter 17: Confessions, Conundrums, and Carrots

Surrounded by beige walls and standing on a hardwood floor that extended a few feet from the kitchen counter, Love Tap stood and stared. In front of her was a pair of carrots on a rectangular wooden board. Carrots, she reckoned, she should be slicing right now, or maybe chopping. She couldn’t remember. The more she stared at them, the less she knew what to do with them. Then for a second, she remembered.

That’s it! That’s what I was going to do with them I was going to—Scootaloo confessed to Button.

…And then it disappeared. Wherever that flash of insight had come from, it was gone now, and she wasn’t sure where… She was stuck. Stuck standing and staring at a pair of carrots as she tried to remember why she had brought them out in the first place and what she was going to do with them.

She wondered if she could serve them up as they were. If maybe two whole carrots could serve a course… or a meal even.

No wait…that’s ridiculous! Of course Button needs more than carrots, he needs a full meal! The carrots aren’t a meal by themselves! I was going to use them in—Scootaloo confessed to Button.

…

Gone again.

Like a shooting star that came and left too early for her to make a wish on, Love Tap once again went back to staring at the carrots and wondering what she was to do with them. She wondered if this was to be her fate from this point on. Just a pony slowly working towards an idea only to have it flee from her at the last moment from now until the end of time. A living Sissyhooves doomed to roll her stone up the hill, just to have it slip from her hooves at the at last moment and slip down to the bottom again.

No wait… this is stupid. They’re just carrots. It’s not that big of deal. I was just going to—Scootaloo confessed to Button.

…

Dang it.

Love Tap went back to staring at the carrots until a frantic tapping freed her from her stupor.

‘Tap, tap, tap, tap!’

Across the room and through a large arched window crossed with thin wooden beams, a familiar orange pegasus waved her forehoof about as she tried to get Love Tap’s attention.

“Scootaloo!” Love Tap exclaimed as she walked up to the window and pushed on it, each side parting in the middle and opening on hinges. “Thank Celestia you’re here!” Love Tap reached out and picked up Scootaloo, a giant smile spread across her face as she placed the orange pegasus down on the blue carpeted floor. “Please tell me what I should do with these carrots!” Love Tap said as she motioned towards the kitchen counter.

“Uh… Can we worry about that later?” Scootaloo asked. “We sort of have an… uh… issue with Button…” She looked around the kitchen. “He’s not here, is he?”

“He’s upstairs… Is this about me julienning the carro—I mean, you confessing to him?” Love Tap asked.

Scootaloo let out a long heavy sigh. “He told you, huh?”

Love Tap nodded. “Yes… and he seemed pretty confused by it.” Love Tap motioned to herself. “I was pretty confused by it! I mean… I wasn’t surprised at first to hear somepony confessed to him, but I never thought it’d be you, Scootaloo!”

“I wouldn’t!” Scootaloo cried. “I mean, I didn’t! I mean…” Scootaloo clenched her teeth together and made a loud, frustrated sound. “EEEEEERRRRRGGGGGGHHHHU!”

“I mean, I just thought that Sweetie Belle kind of liked Button… ”

“Oh, it goes far, far beyond ‘kind of like’,” Scootaloo assured. “It’s actually like, like—”

“STOP SAYING THAT WORD!” Sweetie Belle shrieked out angrily.

“Uh… But that’s not important right now!” Scootaloo said.

Love Tap paused and trotted up to the window sticking her head out of it. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom stood right below it, sticking her head up at her.

“Uh… Hi,” Apple Bloom said.

“Erm… Hey, uh… mom…” Sweetie Belle said. Her eyes suddenly went wide as she waved her forearms back and forth in front of her. “ERM… I mean… Button’s mom! Not my mom… I have one of those!”

Apple Bloom turned and glared at Sweetie Belle. “Well rub it in, why don’tcha!”

“Whoops…” Sweetie Belle turned to Apple Bloom and looked at her sheepishly. “Sorry Apple Bloom, I didn’t mean—”

“Girls,” Love Tap interrupted, “what are you two doing outside my kitchen window?”

“Well,” Sweetie Belle said, “we’re too short to get up to the window on our own, so we lifted up Scootaloo and…”

Love Tap shook her head. “No, I mean… why didn’t you all just knock on the front door?”

“Oh, right…” Sweetie Belle said, a slightly pinkish hue entering her cheeks. “We’re kind of trying to avoid Button Mash until we sort something out…”

Love Tap turned behind her and looked at Scootaloo. “Is this about your confession?”

Scootaloo simply uttered an annoyed “Uuuuuhhhhhgggg!”

“Well… about that…” Sweetie Belle said in a slightly embarrassed tone.

“Hey,” Apple Bloom called out, “can we all talk about this inside? It’s kinda weird us talking up to you from outside…”

Love Tap nodded and leaned down, scooping up both Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle into her forelegs, before she leaned back up and sat them gently down on their hooves inside. She turned and quietly closed the window.

Love Tap looked at Sweetie Belle and then at Scootaloo. “So… I mean… Is this about both of you liking Button Mash?”

“What!” Scootaloo said. “No! I don’t like Button Mash!”

“Ah thought you really, kinda liked Button Mash!” Apple Bloom said.

“What? I… okay… like… I guess that’s what I mean, but like that’s not… like… UHG! Now I’m sick of that word too!”

Love Tap looked at Scootaloo with a confused look. “So… erm… are you now feeling conflicted on your feelings for Button?”

“What?! No!” Scootaloo cried. “I’m not conflicted at all!”

“Soooo… you do like him?” Love Tap asked.

“UUUUHHHHHHGGGGG!” Scootaloo cried. “Look! Button and I are just friends, and that’s it!”

“But Button said that you told him that you adored him,” Love Tap said.

“I didn’t mean for Button to hear all that!” Scootaloo insisted. “I was just showing Sweetie Belle how a proper confession is done so she’ll stop dragging her hooves and just tell Button how she feels! I didn’t know Button would be right there to receive my fake, and not-real-at-all, confession.”

“Oooooh!” Love Tap said, her eyes widening and her lips even raising slightly as if a giant weight had somehow been lifted from her. “That makes an alarmingly large amount of sense.”

“So anyways,” Scootaloo continued, “I think Sweetie Belle just needs to go up to Button’s room and tell her how she feels!”

Sweetie Belle turned narrowed her eyes slightly at Scootaloo. “And I already said that will just confuse Button because he’ll have to deal with two fillies telling him that they like him!”

Love Tap frowned. “Yeah, don’t go up and tell him right now. He’s still processing Scootaloo’s confession. Who knows what kind of mental breakdown he’ll have if he has to deal with two fillies confessing to him on the same day.”

“Fine!” Scootaloo said. “This is stupid and I’m sick of it! I’ll just tell Button this a big misunderstanding and that I was just showing Sweetie Belle a proper confession!”

“No don’t do that!” Sweetie Belle pleaded.

Scootaloo sighed heavily. “What is it this time?”

“If you tell Button you were showing me how to confess then he’ll know I like him!”

“Oh, wow!” Scootaloo said sarcastically. “We wouldn’t want that, now would we?”

Love Tap raised an eyebrow and looked at Sweetie Belle. “Would Button knowing how you feel really be so horrible?”

Sweetie Belle frowned. “I don’t… I don’t know… I mean… what if Button doesn’t feel the same way about me?!”

“What?!” Love Tap exclaimed. Her mouth opening into a smile as she seemed to chuckle silently to herself. “Honey, are you really concerned about that?!”

Sweetie Belle nodded her head up and down.

Love Tap suddenly frowned. “Wait… You mean… you honestly think if you confess to Button he might reject you?”

Sweetie Belle once again nodded her head up and down. “I’m not ready to have my heart broken!”

Love Tap looked over towards Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. “This… she’s not joking is she… this is honestly a thing with her, isn’t it?”

The two fillies nodded their heads up and down and uttered sad and defeated “Uh-huh”s.

“I…” Love Tap trailed off as she tried to process this information. Her mind struggled with it as if she was considering something completely contrary to everything she thought she knew. “Ok well… that’s… I guess that’s something.”

“UUUHHHHHHHGGGG!” Scootaloo cried. “This is so stupid!”

“Mom?”

The group suddenly froze as Button called from upstairs.

“I keep hearing groaning,” Button said. “What’s going on?”

“Uh… Nothing, sweetie!” Love Tap said. “The kitchen is just uh… erm… infested with zombies!”

“What?” Apple Bloom said. “There’s no way he’s going to believe—”

Love Tap brought a forehoof up to her mouth and quietly shushed Applebloom. “Shhhh… Just groan! Groan!”

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle looked at each other shrugged, and began groaning and moaning.

“Uhhhhhhh…” Scootaloo said.

“Mooooooooaaaaaaaan!” Sweetie Belle cried.

Scootaloo stopped and scowled at Sweetie Belle. “Sweetie Belle, you dingus… You don’t actually say the word ‘moan’. You just moan like this… ‘Whuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh!’”

“Oh! I see!” Sweetie Belle said cheerfully. “Whoooooooaaaaaa!”

Scootaloo sighed and raised a forehoof against her forehead. “No, that’s not moaning or groaning…” She lowered her forehoof and pointed it at Sweetie Belle. “You’re putting too much effort into it. Just… just pretend Rarity said she can’t spend time with you because she has a big order to fill and then drag that sound out for as long as possible.”

“Oh! You mean like ‘uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhggggggggguuuuuuuuhhhhgggg…?’”

Scootaloo nodded. “Much better!”

“Guys,” Apple Bloom said, “Ah’m tellin’ y’all… This ain’t gonna wo—”

“Oh no!” Button cried. “What should I do?!”

Apple Bloom smacked a forehoof against her face.

“Just stay up there and keep playing video games!” Love Tap shouted up.

“Uhhh… You don’t want me to jump out my window or at least call for help or something?”

“It’s alright, dear!” Love Tap cried. “Mommy can handle it!”

Apple Bloom shook her head in disbelief. “Seriously? He’s just going to accept all this?”

“… Mom?” Button called out.

“Yes, sweetie?”

“You’re the coolest mom, ever!”

Love Tap smiled to herself. “I know, sweetie.”

Scootaloo pursed her lips into a tight frown and wrinkled her brow slightly as she stared at Sweetie Belle. “Alright, now what exactly do you see in that dork?”

“Hey!” Sweetie Belle protested.

“Scootaloo, dear?” Love Tap said. “I should remind you that I’m literally right here, and though I like you, I have a rather short fuse when it comes to ponies picking on my sons.”

Scootaloo looked up at Love Tap with wide eyes and an expression that was just shy of terrified. “Right… sorry… I’ll rephrase…”

Love Tap nodded. “See that you do.”

Scootaloo looked back at Sweetie Belle and raised a forehoof over her own mouth as she cleared her throat. “What exactly do you see in someone who so readily accepts that zombies have infested his kitchen?”

Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow. “If Rainbow Dash showed up and told you she spent the day beating up vamponies in Ponyville town square, would you even question it?”

“I…” Scootaloo trailed off slightly. “Okay, no, but she deals with weird, magical stuff all the time! And weird, magical stuff also attacks the town all the time! What’s so hard to believe about her fighting vamponies in town square?”

Sweetie Belle smirked with a knowing expression. “It’s daytime, doi!”

Apple Bloom spoke up. “What the heck does that have to do with anythin’?”

“GAH!” Scootaloo cried. “You got me! Fine!” she said begrudgingly. “Statement retracted.”

“Did Ah just miss something?” Apple Bloom asked as she looked back and forth between Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.

Love Tap looked at Apple Bloom and smiled. “Vamponies turn to dust in the sunlight… so there’s no reason a fight would happen outside in broad daylight.”

“Oh…” Apple Bloom uttered. “Uh… that makes… sense?”

“Moooooom?” Button called out. “Are the zombies dead yet…? … Again?”

“Almost done decapitating that last one, sweetie!” Love Tap called back sweetly. “Then I just need to clean up.”

“Okay, mom!”

Scootaloo sighed. “Can we focus on figuring out what to say to Button? I really don’t need things to be any weirder and more awkward between him and me than they already are.”

“Wait…” Love Tap said as she began to frown slightly, her eyebrows similarly lowering as she looked at Scootaloo. “What’s so ‘weird’ and ‘awkward’ about you being friends with Button?”

Scootaloo’s eyes went wide. “I mean…erm… Button is awesome and I’d hate for a simple misunderstanding to mess up our friendship!”

Love Tap smiled and nodded in approval.

“Well, what do we do then?” Apple Bloom asked.

The group went quiet as the four ponies thought about the situation.

Sweetie Belle cracked the silence. “I got it…” she said in a somewhat hushed tone as her eyes grew unfocused.

The other three present looked at her in concern, all used to Sweetie Belle delivering her ideas with much more enthusiasm. This seemed true no matter how remarkably bad the idea was. However, this time Sweetie Belle’s voice and expression were almost the polar opposite.

“… Yeaaaah…? Apple Bloom said cautiously.

Sweetie Belle continued, “Scootaloo needs to take Button out on a date.”

There was another beat of silence as everypony simply stared at Sweetie Belle with blank expressions.

Love Tap’s expression suddenly shifted to a look of concern. “Sweetie Belle, dear? Maybe you should lie down for a bit… you’re not making sense.”

“No,” Sweetie Belle said. “I know exactly what I’m talking about! Scootaloo has to take Button on a date, and Apple Bloom and I will keep close watch on the two of them.”

“Oh!” Scootaloo said. “Like I go on a date and the three of us purposely make it bad? That way Button realizes that a relationship with me will never work and he won’t be conflicted when Sweetie Belle finally confesses to him?”

“Hey, yeah!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “That’s a great idea!”

Love Tap paused and tapped a forehoof against her chin as she seriously considered this. “Well, that seems a tad effort some solution, but I’m sure it will work… Just don’t make it too bad for poor Button, I don’t want you three traumatizing him any more than you already have…”

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom gave Love Tap a nervous grin.

“No, no, no, no!” Sweetie Belle cried. “The date has to be perfect!” Sweetie Belle declared. “Apple Bloom and I will be there to make sure nothing goes wrong!”

Love Tap quickly raised her forehoof and placed it against Sweetie Belle’s forehead. “Well… I don’t think you have a temperature, but you certainly sound delirious… I still think you should—”

“This is important!” Sweetie Belle insisted. “We can’t sabotage Scootaloo and Button’s Mash date!”

Love Tap nodded. “Yes, I understand.”

“You do?!” Scootaloo and Apple Bloom said in disbelief.

“We need to take Sweetie Belle to the hospital now.”

“Makes sense to me,” Scootaloo said.

“I’m not sick!” Sweetie Belle insisted. “I just… It’s just really, really important that Scootaloo goes out with Button Mash on a real, not sabotaged date!”

Scootaloo shot Sweetie Belle a befuddled look, almost as if befuddles were something one could actually drown in and Scootaloo’s expression was now treading befuddlement. “Do you actually want Button to fall in like, like…erm lots of likes with me?!”

“Of course not!” Sweetie Belle squeaked out.

“Then why have me go on a real date with him?!”

“Because wehave to be sure!” Sweetie Belle said. “What if you and Button are perfect for each other, but we never know because you waste this opportunity?! I mean… if Button and I go on a date now, all of us will be wondering what might have been if he had gone out with you!”

“Uh… I wouldn’t,” Scootaloo said.

Apple Bloom shook her head. “Yeah, me neither.”

“Girls,” Love Tap said, “do any of you remember me saying something about carrots? I’m sure I was going to do something with them, but now I can’t—”

Sweetie Belle interrupted, “If Button and I become colt and fillyfriends now, our relationship could very well be a lie! A lie that we were meant for each other when really it’s Scootaloo and Button Mash who should be together! How can I—no… any of us go on just turning a blind eye to what might be?”

Scootaloo’s lip twitched slightly as a tidal wave of befuddles suddenly struck and washed her out into a sea of bafflement. “Okay… I just… wait… what?”

“Oh! I get it!” Apple Bloom said.

Scootaloo sighed. “At least one of us does…”

“Sweetie Belle needs to be sure you and Button Mash aren’t, li—er… perfect colt and fillyfriend material now! Ah mean, if we don’t find out, she’s gonna spend the rest of her days wondering if he’d be better off with you instead!”

Sweetie Belle nodded her head up and down. “Exactly! If I like Button Mash, I mean really… like a bunch of times him, then it’s his happiness I need to consider! Not my own! Otherwise our relationship would just be built on my selfishness!”

Love Tap’s pupils suddenly opened as the blackness of them swallowed her turquoise irises. Her face monetarily had a serene look about it as if she suddenly understood everything… A moment that quickly passed as she lowered an eyebrow and a corner of her mouth twitched slightly as if trying to meet it. “Girls… I just… I’m sorry but I think I need to lie down for a bit… I think… I think I’m just going to give you all a bunch of money for… whatever it is you’re thinking of doing and hope no one is injured or scarred for life by the end of it.”

Sweetie Belle nodded. “That’s exactly what Rarity does when we try to explain our crusading ideas to her!”

Apple Bloom smiled. “An’ we always turn out jus’ fine!” She turned towards Scootaloo. "Right, Scoots?"

Scootaloo’s eyes focused slightly as if she was staring at a point far, far outside the house. “Sometimes I lie awake at night and think about what we do every day…” Scootaloo’s eyes teared up slightly. “Then I wonder if I’ll even live to get my cutie mark…”

Love Tap suddenly snapped back into focus, almost as if somepony had just slapped her across the face. “Scootaloo, sweetie? Do you need to talk about something?” she said in a concerned tone.

“There’s no time for that!” Sweetie Belle insisted. “We have to help her plan for her date with Button Mash!”

Love Tap looked at Sweetie Belle. “Right, just going to power right past that sentence… I think Scootaloo might need to sit down and—”

Scootaloo’s eyes suddenly lit up. “Hey, if this is my date, does that mean I get to decide whatever it is Button and I do together?”

Sweetie Belle smiled. “Of course! You want to show Button the real you!”

Scootaloo smiled. “Sweeeeet…”

Love Tap sighed and shook her head. “… I’ll just go get my bit purse…” she uttered before trotting out of the room. She sighed to herself. “At least I won’t have to make dinner…”

Sweetie Belle smiled. “Great! So it’s decided! Scootaloo will take Button on the best date she can think of and then we’ll know if they’re meant to be together or not!”

“And we can help!” Apple Bloom cried. “Maybe even get our cutie marks in date planning while we’re at it!”

“Hey, yeah!” Scootaloo said with a smile. “And what’s best is I get to avoid any weird or completely awkward situations!” she added.

The three fillies suddenly each thrust a forearm into the air and touched hooves.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS DATE PLANNERS, YAY!”

* The part of a horse or pony's leg that’s right above their hoof.

Jump to top

Chapter 18: Land of Pizza and Nightmares

The SweetieMash Chronicles

Chapter 18: Land of Pizza and Nightmares

“Button, sweetie?” Love Tap called down blue carpeted hallway. “Could you come downstairs?”

“Are all the zombies dead… again?” Button asked.

“Yes, sweetie!” Love Tap replied sweetly.

The sound of small hooves quickly making their way down stairs quickly changed to the sound of hooves galloping against carpet. In a flash, Button Mash appeared in the doorway of the kitchen.

“So,” Button began, “what are we having for din…” Button Mash trailed off as he took note of the three fillies standing in the kitchen. His happy expression dropped to a somewhat befuddled one as he greeted each one. “Uh.... Hi, Apple Bloom. Hi, Sweetie Belle… Hi… uh… Scootaloo…”

“Hiya, Button!” Apple Bloom said cheerfully.

“Hi, Button…” Sweetie Belle said somewhat sheepishly.

“Yo,” Scootaloo said simply.

“Button, sweetie?” Love Tap said. “The girls are going to talk to you about… something… While I go… and…” Love Tap paused and looked about the kitchen. She pointed at the unmarked carrot that still sat on the chopping board. “… While I go and take that carrot… up to my bedroom… for… reasons… Food reasons.”

“Uh… okay mom…” Button said in an unsure tone.

“… You know… because carrots are edible…”Love Tap added.

“I know, mom…” Button said.

“Good,” Love Tap said with a nod. She trotted over to the carrot and grabbed it gently with her mouth before leaving the kitchen.

With Love Tap out of the room, the four foals simply stared at each other awkwardly for a bit.

Sweetie Belle spoke up, “We’ll just leave you two alone…”

Button shot Sweetie Belle a somewhat hopeful expression. “You mean Scootaloo and Apple Bloom?”

“Huh? No!” Sweetie Belle said. “You and Scootaloo.”

“Oh… Okay then…” Button said in a disappointed tone.

“Well, we’ll just be going now!” Sweetie Belle said before she turned and walked towards the window. “You know… Apple Bloom and I!”

“Uh… Sweetie Belle?” Button said. “The door is this way.”

“Oh, I know!” Sweetie Belle said as she pushed open the window before suddenly jumping out.

“EEEEK—OOFFF!”

Button stared out the window and blinked a few times. “I… uh… alright…”

“I’m okay!” Sweetie Belle shouted from outside.

Apple Bloom looked from Scootaloo to Button Mash, then towards the window and sighed. “Ah guess I’ll just jump out the window too, then…” Apple Bloom trotted over to the window looked out of it briefly, then carefully crawled out. She dangled over the side briefly then let herself drop. “OOFF!”

Button and Scootaloo stared out the window briefly before returning their gazes to each other.

“Oh… Hey, Button…” Scootaloo said.

“Hi, Scootaloo…” Button said. “Uh… We did this part…”

“Uh… Right!” Scootaloo said. She glanced behind her at the window. “Would you excuse me? I need to… stick my head out the window… because…. because the air is slightly fresher… outside.”

“Uh… Sure…” Button said.

Scootaloo trotted over to the window and stuck her head over the side. “Okay… What do I do now?!”

“Ask him on a date!” Sweetie Belle said in what sounded to be a hushed exclamation.

“Okay, but how do I do that?!” Scootaloo replied.

“Just say ‘Button, would you like to go on a date with me?’”

Button’s ears perked up. “Was that Sweetie Belle? Did she just say—?”

Scootaloo perked her head up, interrupted. “Button, would you like to go with on a date with me?”

“Yeah, that!” Button said with a smile.

“No, I mean…” Scootaloo pointed to herself. “Button, would you like to go on a date with me?”

Button’s smile dropped. “Oh… Uh… I’m… er… Maybe…?”

Scootaloo scrunched her lips up to one side of her mouth. “Uh… No pressure or anything… I thought… I just thought we could maybe hang out… Eat some food… play some games… that’s all…” Scootaloo began to dig idly at the kitchen carpet with a forehoof.

Button stared up slightly as he considered this. “Well… I do like food… and games…”

“Then it’s a date!” Scootaloo said.

“It is?” Button asked.

“Uh… sure?” Scootaloo said. “The important thing is that we leave this room and do… something… Something that gets us out of here… and away from how weird this is…”

“I…” Button trailed off. “Okay… That makes a lot of sense… Let’s go!”

Sweetie Belle tilted her head back down to a level position as she stood underneath the open kitchen window. She giggled to herself and rubbed her hooves together. “Perfect! Things are off to a great start!”

Apple Bloom cocked an eyebrow at her friend. “Ye know, yer being kinda crazy here.”

Sweetie Belle shrugged. “You know what they say! Ponies do crazy things in the name of lo—like.”

Apple Bloom furrowed her eyebrows. “Pretty sure nopony says that…”

Sweetie Belle shook her head. “Whatever! We need to follow them make sure everything goes perfect!”

“Follow them where?”

“Eek!”

“Ghah!”

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom turned and looked at Button Mash, who was standing a few feet away from them and next to Scootaloo. Scootaloo stared at her friends with annoyed, narrowed eyes. She now wore a pair of brown saddle bags.

Scootaloo sighed and shook her head. “See, it’s stuff like this that kept us from getting our ninja cutie marks.”

“Follow them… nowhere!” Sweetie Belle said. “Because we’re not following you two! Like… at all.”

“It’s okay,” Button said with a smile. “You two can follow us! Maybe it’ll be more fun that way!”

Scootaloo nodded her head. “Yeah… You can even follow and do a bad job of hiding still! So bad that you might as well just join us for dinner and stuff!” Scootaloo flashed Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom a slightly pleading look, hoping they’d pick up on the not so subtle hint that she was already having second thoughts.

Sweetie Belle shook her head. “No, we couldn’t intrude.”

“Oh yes you can!” Scootaloo said.

“Yeah!” Button said. “We don’t mind… uh… apparently…”

Apple Bloom smiled. “Maybe we should! The four of us can just go out and have a lot of fu—”

“NO!” Sweetie Belle cried. “This is Button’s and Scootaloo’s special day, and we can’t interfere!”

The other foals went quiet and stared at Sweetie Belle with a mixture of disappointment and bemusement.

“Uh… Alright then…” Button said in a crestfallen tone. “I guess we’ll just go to…” He turned to Scootaloo. “Where are we going?”

“Greasy Pizza’s Pizza Party Playhouse!” Scootaloo said.

Sweetie Belle’s eyes shot open wide. “What?! No!”

Apple Bloom groaned.

Button Mash looked back and forth between the two fillies in confusion.

“What’s your problem?!” Scootaloo said. “Greasy Pizza’s has skee ball! Skee ball! I mean… okay. I know we’re not going to win any of the good prizes! But it has games and food!”

“But the food is terrible!” Apple Bloom said.

Sweetie Belle stared off into open space and began to shiver. “And those scary puppets… I used to have nightmares about them! Princess Luna had to come into my dreams again and help me with my fears!”

“Princess Luna?” Button said with interest. “How’d that go?”

“AAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEE!”

Sweetie Belle let out a scream of terror as what appeared to be a whip made of fire cracked above her. She huddled against a stone wall as firelight and shadow danced around her.

Princess Luna, stood resolutely in front of Sweetie Belle as she stared up in determination, her wings spread out far and wide to their full span.

A massive being that looked like an anthropomorphic fox constructed out of equal parts shabby fabric, metal, fire, and horror towered above Luna and Sweetie Belle. In its hand it held a massive flaming whip, the other hand had been replaced by a giant, flaming hook.

“You cannot pass!” Luna declared in a booming voice. “I am the Princess of the Night! Watcher of Dreams! The dark fire will not avail you, oh creature of nightmares! Go back to the shadow!”

The massive fox opened its maw of dagger like sharp teeth as a cone of flames shot out.

“EEEEEEEEEEEK!” Sweetie Belle screamed as Luna’s horn glowed briefly and a shield surrounded both ponies.

As the fire faded, Luna dropped her shield. Her horn began to glow a brilliant shade of blue as she raised her forehooves and flailed them aggressively. “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”

“Oh… it uh… went…” Sweetie Belle replied.

Button Mash rubbed the bottom of his chin with his forehoof. “Well… I kinda want to go…”

“You do?!” Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom said in disbelief.

Button nodded. “I’ve never got to go inside! Mom says she won’t take me because she went with my older brother when he was young and he had nightmares for weeks... and also something about a restraining order.”

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom exchanged worried glances.

“Great!” Scootaloo said. “Then it’s settled! Let’s go!”

“Okay!” Button said excitedly. He turned towards Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, his gaze noticeably lingering on Sweetie Belle. “Guess… Guess I’ll see you two later?”

Apple Bloom nodded. “Of course Button! Have… uh… fun?”

Sweetie Belle forced something of a sweet smile. “Yeah, Button. I hope you enjoy yourself.”

“Uh… Right…” Button said. “I’m sure hanging out with Scootaloo will be… erm… okay…”

“Yeah!” Scootaloo said as she forced excitement into her tone. “Let’s go have an ‘okay’ time!”

With that, Button and Scootaloo continued walking away from the house and towards Ponyville.

Apple Bloom motioned to the two foals as they walked away. “Are ya just gonna let this happen?!”

“Well… it’s Scootaloo’s date!” Sweetie Belle said. “I mean… this is her opportunity to see if she and Button are meant to be!”

“He’s not gonna be with anypony if he spends the rest of his life in the nut house!”

Sweetie Belle frowned. “Well… that’s why we’re going to follow them! We need to make sure Scootaloo’s date goes off without a hitch!”

Apple Bloom shook her head. “Ah don’t think that’s even a remote possibility with where we’re all goin’, but okay…”

Scootaloo excitedly pushed open the glass double doors of the large brick ‘Greasy Pizza’s Pizza Party Playhouse’ and trotted inside. Button followed and scanned the establishment.

The inside was dimly lit and the faded red carpets and drapes sported a number of grimy, brown and even black stains. Sets of mostly empty tables surrounded a curtained off stage and those tables that were occupied contained a couple of distraught and depressed-looking families in front of barely touched pizzas. Lines of dirty game cabinets occupied the far wall of the establishment next to a trio of skee ball machines and a lopsided air-hockey table that had a filthy brown and liquid-damaged book wedged underneath one of the legs. Scattered about the skee ball machines and air-hockey table were a number of cracked glass cases and machines of unknown function, almost all with ‘OUT OF ORDER’ signs hung over them. Near the entrance was a glass case in front of some shelves with a large banner that read “prizez” that dangled from a frayed rope. Colorful and cheap-looking plastic items sat in the glass case next to numbers in the single and double digits. On the shelves were impressive and expensive-looking dust-covered items with numbers of five or more digits next to them. Finally, a few large entryways opened up to barely lit hallways where the faint sound of children screaming and sobbing could be heard.

In the center of the room was what looked like a large gray inflatable raft with a series of long blue patches over it. Inside the ‘raft’ were hundreds of colorful balls surrounding a pink unicorn filly with a two toned dark-and-light-pink mane. The unicorn filly wept bitterly, but no one so much as looked or acknowledged her cries.

Button stared at the ‘ball pit’ as a profound feeling of existential dread creeped over him.

Scootaloo leaned in close to Button and whispered, “Under no circumstances do you go into the ball pit. Understood?”

Button nodded. “I won’t, Scootaloo.” He put his muzzle into the air and sniffed. “What’s that smell? It kinda smells like… sniff… uh… cart oil and burnt cardboard.”

“Oh! That would be the pizza!” Scootaloo said. “Speaking of which, I’m starving! Let’s order some of that first!”

“Oh… alright…” Button said in an unsure tone.

“Here!” Scootaloo said as she sat down and allowed her saddle bags to slide off her back, hitting the ground with a jingle. She stuck in both her forehooves in and came up with a pile of bits. “Why don’t you play some video games while I get us some food?”

Button took the bits in one forehoof as best he could. “Well, I do like video games…” he said as he began carefully limping away on three hooves as he balanced his pile of bits in one.

As he approached the line of video game cabinets, Button scanned the games and mouthed the titles out loud. “Donkey Klung… Super Mareio half-cousins, twice removed… Pac-circle of unknown gender… Ponge… Space Encroachers… None of these sound very good… Oh! That game looks interesting…”

Button trotted up to a large game labeled “IRON WILL’S DANCE TO CONFIDENCE INSURGENCY!” Arrows ascended from the bottom of the screen to the top as gentle, rhythmic electronic dance music sounded from the speakers. Next to the large screen was a cutout of a life-sized, blue minotaur wearing a small black tie and nose ring. He gave an enthusiastic smile and thumbs up. In front of the screen was a platform with two sets of eight arrows each. Button stepped onto the platform, set his pile of bits to the side, and took a single bit out of the pile. He placed it into the machine, which beeped as the screen was suddenly filled by the image of the same minatour that stood next to the game.

“Welcome to Iron Will’s Dance to Confidence Insurgency!” The minotaur greeted. “I’m Iron Will!” Iron Will said as he pointed to himself with a thumb.

“Hi, Mr. Iron Will!” Button said cheerfully.

Iron Will flexed. “Are you ready to prove to everyone around you that you’re the best around?! That nothing’s ever gonna keep you down?!”

Button nodded excitedly. “I am, Iron Will!”

“I can’t hear you!” the onscreen minotaur said as put a hand up to his ear.

“I am, Iron Will!” Button said with more force.

“Louder!”

“I AM, IRON—”

“Louder!”

“IAMIRONWI—”

“LOOOOOUUUUUUDER!”

Button began to cough and stutter.

“Good!” Iron Will said. “Now pick your song!”

Button took a few deep breaths before he looked over the song list in front of him. He began to read off the list stepped on an arrow and scrolled down each item. “‘Riot in the Insane Asylum’, ‘Please, Please, Make it Stop’…” Button paused and frowned. “‘Oh Celestia, I’m literally on fire…’ …Oh … ‘Misty Meadow Hop’… That sounds like a good first song....” Button placed a hoof on one of the arrows.

“Good choice!” Iron Will assured.

“Thanks, Mr. Iron Will!” Button replied. He stepped on of the steps again and the message next to the song that read, ‘Difficult’ changed to ‘Easy’.

“Easy?!” Iron Will cried. “This ain’t a game for babies, buddy and/or lady!”

“Uh… Sorry, Mr. Iron Will sir…” Button said as his ears flopped down around his head. He adjusted the setting again.

“‘Medium?’” Iron Will scoffed. “I thought you were serious about showing your manliness and/or ladyness!”

“I am serious!” Button insisted as he adjusted the setting yet again.

“‘Difficult’? I’m sorry, I thought I was dealing with a tough stallion or tough mare! Not some play it safe, namby-pamby tiny colt and/or filly!”

“I’m eight!” Button cried.

Iron Will continued, “But if you’re fine with never achieving your full potential and living an empty shadow of a life, a life where nopony respects you, then—”

“Alright!” Button cried. He adjusted the difficulty to ‘Insane’.

“Now you’re talking!” Iron Will said. “If you can complete this song on this difficulty, then all your dreams will come true!”

Button smiled. “Thanks, Mr. Iron Will. I sure hope so.”

The screen went dark for a second before a number countdown appeared. “3… 2… GO!”

“WHAT HAPPENED TO ONE?!” Button cried.

Frantic, pounding music boomed out of the game as a full bank of sixteen arrows pointed in all directions began shooting up from the bottom of the screen towards the top.

“AAAAAAHHHH!” Button cried as he jumped all over the platform in a desperate attempt to hit the arrows.

“POOR! POOR! MISS!” Iron Will’s judgmental voice cried out. “POOR! MISS! POOR! IRON WILL DOESN’T THINK YOU’RE EVEN TRYING!”

“Huff… puff… BUT I’M DOING MY BEST!” Button cried as his hooves frantically moved under him.

“IRON WILL IS VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU!”

“WHAAAA! I’M SORRY, IRON WILL!” Button continued in vain to hit the arrows as a bar on the screen plummeted into the red.

TIron Will’s voice continued to berate Button as a bar began to flash. “IRON WILL THINKS YOU’RE A DISAPPOINTMENT TO EVERYPONY YOU KNOW! INCLUDING YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY! ESPECIALLY YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY!”

“Ehhhehhh… hhhehhh…. sniff… WHOUAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAA!” Button cried as he continued his desperate attempt to hit the arrows, straining to see them now through the tears in his eyes.

The screen suddenly went black. “FAILURE!” a voice boomed out as big bold red letters appeared on the screen spelling out the same word. Iron Will suddenly appeared with a disappointed look and added. “AND THAT’S ALL YOU’LL EVER BE!”

“WHOUAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAA!” Button wailed.

Iron Will suddenly appeared again in front of the letters and smiled. “Would you like to try again?”

“WHOUAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAAA…sniff… hhheehhh…” Button reached down for another bit. “Alright…”

“BUTTON!” Sweetie Belle cried as she suddenly rushed up from behind a video game and put a forehoof over Button’s arm as he pulled up another bit. “WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!”

“Oh… Hi, Sweetie Belle...” Button said sheepishly. He pointed to the game he was standing at. “I was going to try playing again so maybe everyone I know would stop being disappointed in me…”

Sweetie Belle shook her head. “I’m not disappointed in you!”

“You’re not?” Button asked.

“No! I think you’re great!”

Button’s face lit up. “You do?”

Sweetie Belle nodded her head up and down. “In fact I… I…”

“… Yes?” Button said with a hopefully smile.

“Uh…” Sweetie Belle pointed away from the games. “I think Scootaloo is waiting for you.”

From her table directly in front of the stage, Scootaloo uttered a lengthy, irritated sigh as she raised a forehoof to her face.

“Oh… alright then…” Button said in a disappointed tone. He gathered up his bits in one hoof again and began slowly limping to the table.

“Good!” Sweetie Belle called out after him. “I’ll just be… not here… Not following you!” Sweetie Belle trotted back over to the back of the ‘Repair it Rex the Fourth’ video game cabinet where a completely stunned Apple Bloom waited.

“Ya… ya had him!” Apple Bloom exclaimed as she held her forehooves out in front of her. “Ya were two lousy words away from confessing and ya let him jus’ walk away! Ya encouraged it even!”

Sweetie Belle shook her head. “Apple Bloom! This is Scootaloo’s big night! How do you think she would feel if I confessed to Button during her big date?!”

“RELIEVED!” Apple Bloom cried.

“I’m not going to ruin this special night between those two.”

Apple Bloom looked out and stared at the dingy and stained carpets, drapes, walls, and ceiling of Greasy Pizza’s. “Ah don’t think it’s even possible to make things worse than they’re probably going to be!”

Button trudged up to the table Scootaloo was at and dumped his bits. “Uh… Hi, Scootaloo… You order food yet?”

Scootaloo shook her head. “No, I’m waiting for a waiter to show up…” she sighed. “You’d think with almost no one here it would be… Ah, here comes one…”

Button turned over his shoulder and uttered a startled “AAAH!” as what appeared to be a pony-sized, horizontal slice of pizza with a massive manic-looking grin trotted over on mottled yellowish-white legs.

Button jumped onto the stool right next to Scootaloo and began quivering as the costumed pony approached. One eye of the costume dangled precariously on a single thread under an empty black cavity where it clearly once resided. The eye bounced up and down with each trot of the pony wearing the costume. On top of the pizza slice were a number of faded and grime covered foam items that could generously be described as vegetable-shaped.

As the costumed pizza pony approached, Button buried his head under Scootaloo’s wing as he continued to shake. Scootaloo shot Button a perturbed look.

“Awww… How sweet…” a slightly muffled voice came from inside the costume. “Are you two on a date?”

Scootaloo sighed. “Yes…”

“Ahhh… young love!”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Can we just order please?”

“Sure! What’ll it be?”

“Two sodas please,” Scootaloo said.

The pizza slice bobbed once. “Brown or Green?”

Button perked up slightly. “Brown? Oh, like Colta-Cola or Pasture Dew?”

“Sure kid, very much like those things!”

“I’ll take brown!” Scootaloo said.

Button smiled. “I’ll take gree—”

Scootaloo quickly put a hoof over Button’s mouth. “He’ll also take a brown.”

The pizza slice bobbed again. “What’ll ya eat? Would you like one of Greasy Pizza’s delicious pizzas with the works?! It’s got every topping you can think of!”

“Wow!” Button exclaimed. “That sounds gre—”

Scootaloo cringed. “WE’LLJUSTTAKEACHEESEPIZZA, THANKS!” she quickly interrupted.

“Two brown sodas and one cheese pizza, coming up!” The pizza slice quickly turned around, hitting the table hard with a corner of the costume.

‘Thud!’

Button jumped slightly as the table in front of him wobbled. He then turned to Scootaloo. “What’s wrong with ‘the works’, Scootaloo?”

“It has things on it that aren’t strictly vegetables… or possibly food, even…”

“Oh! And the green soda?”

Scootaloo shook her head. “You don’t want to know… I don’t want to know!”

“Well… okay!” Button said cheerfully. He kicked his back hooves back and forth and looked about. “I uh…I guess we just wait for food and talk until it gets here?”

Scootaloo’s eyes went wide. “Oh look!” she said, pointing to the games. “Video games! Maybe you should try another!”

Button frowned. “Well… the last game I tried hurt my self-esteem…” Button cringed as one of his back legs twitched. “Also, I think one of my muscles melted away at some point…” He looked out into the open room and focused his eyes on one of the large openings that lead down a hallway. “Maybe I should see what’s down one of—”

“SWEET CELESTIA ON A UNICYCLE, NO!” Scootaloo shouted in alarm.

Button flinched. “What… what did I say?!”

“I mean…” Scootaloo pointed out to the assortment of glass cases and other unknown items. “Oh look! Uh… Things… I’m sure one of them works and is possibly fun!”

Button stared out at the items thoughtfully. “Well… I do like things that are fun!” he said.

Scootaloo breathed a sigh of relief as Button grabbed a single bit in his mouth and trotted off towards the assortment of mostly broken attractions.

Button scanned the items of various disrepair as he searched for something without an ‘OUT OF ORDER’ sign. His eyes suddenly settled on a completely bronze attraction; A bearded mule with a wide open mouth held out a plate and wore a large, wide brimmed hat. Its pupils, little more than tiny indents in its eyes, stared off to some far distant corner. When coupled with the gaping wide maw of the device, it almost looked like the prospecting mule was staring at something unspeakable in the corner of the establishment. It was set atop a wooden pedestal that read ‘PAN FOR GOLD’.

Button stood up on his hind legs and rested his hooves on the pedestal. As he looked closer at the mule, he noticed a bit shaped slot in its mouth. Button leaned forward, tilted his head slightly, and dropped the bit into the slot.

With a mechanical creaking noise the mule began to quake as its right foreleg began to shakily lift.

Button lowered himself back to all fours and stared at the device in concern.

The mule proceeded to lifted its hat slightly, then continued to shake as its eyes began to roll around in their sockets.

“What… what’s happening?!” Button cried in alarm.

Soon, one eye popped out as the mule continued its violent shaking. This was followed by the other eye as a dark, viscous, oily liquid bubbled up out of the mule’s mouth and began to drip out the bottom of its maw and down its beard.

Button screamed, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”

The mule itself screamed, “RHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGH!”

Button bolted towards the table as sparks began to shoot out the empty eye sockets of the prospecting mule.

“Oh hey!” Scootaloo said. “You’re just in time!” she motioned to two glasses full of some murky brown liquid that both had straws pointing peeking out the top and a large pizza.

Button crawled up onto a stool of the table as he attempted to catch his breath in between forcing out panicked-sounding words. “Ma… mule… huff… fluids… puff… death!”

Scootaloo shook her head from side to side. “There’ll be time for that later! Now chow’s here!”

Button stared down at the pizza. It looked slightly moist as he noted some sort of sheen over the top. He tentatively reached for a slice. No sooner had Button grabbed a wedge-shaped piece that the cheese slid off in a gelatinous ‘plop’ onto the cardboard below. Button stared at the oil dripping, slightly soggy piece of burnt crust in his hand then up at Scootaloo with a wide-eyed expression lost somewhere between befuddlement and complete and utter terror.

Scootaloo shrugged. “Yeah… you basically have to roll a slice into a ball and shove it all in your mouth otherwise the cheese just shoots out a random end…” Scootaloo grabbed her own piece carefully and folded it on itself. Cheese began to leak out either side as she continued to fold the side of the slice until the whole thing was wrapped into a lumpy, cheesy ball that dripped with grease. She then popped the doughy, cheesy, oily mass into her mouth and began chewing on it as if she had just put a massive piece of gum in her mouth.

Button set down his soggy, wedged-shape slice of soggy crust and attempted another slice, this time mashing it into a vaguely oblong shape. He then popped it into his mouth and began chewing

Scootaloo swallowed the mass of food she had been chewing on. “How’s it taste?” she asked.

Button began to tear up slightly as he continued the laborious act of chewing. With what seemed like a herculean effort, Button swallowed the food in his mouth. “It tastes… it tastes like sadness!” Button Mash began to shake in his chair. “I think I’m having a flashback from when we were all in the sewer together!”

Scootaloo nodded. “Yeah… I find it’s best to chase the taste of the pizza with some of the flat soda…” Scootaloo put her mouth up to the straw of her drink and took a sip.

Button did the same. He cringed as the brown liquid touched his tongue.

Scootaloo continued, “Then you chase the taste of that with some water.”

“From the drinking fountain?” Button asked he pointed to a rusted drinking fountain in the corner of the massive room. A yellow filly with a two-toned orange and light orange colored mane and a cutie mark of three peaches walked up to it leaned her head down, and pressed the button on the drinking fountain faucet. A putrid greenish-black substance immediately shot into her face from the nozzle.

Button watched in horror as the filly scampered away from the fountain screaming. “Aaaaaaahhh! It burns! It burns my eyes and my tongue! Help me! Heeeeelp Meeeeeeeeee!”

Scootaloo shook her head. “No! There’s a garden hose outside. You only use the drinking fountain as a last resort to get out. Somepony has to take you to the hospital at that point!”

“Wait, what?!” Button exclaimed.

“Is everything alright?”

Button gave another cry of alarm as the pizza-slice-costumed pony loomed over the foals’ table. The dangling eye drifted back and forth slightly. Button noticed the eye seemed to be staring at him and began to lean to one side and then the other as the eye lazily drifted back and forth, as if following the young colt.

“We’re fine,” Scootaloo assured.

The final thread of the eye finally broke and the eye fell on top of the pizza with a wet ‘plop’. It stared lifelessly out at Button.

Button opened his mouth as if to shriek, but no sound came out.

The lights began to dim.

“Oh hey!” Scootaloo said. “The show’s about to start!”

“WHAT?!” Button cried out in alarm as he looked from side to side. “We have to…” Button trailed off as he looked to his left noticing the pizza-slice-costumed pony was now standing next to him. He could feel a cold sweat break out over his body as he stared into the empty eye socket.

Suddenly the curtains jerked open revealing a towering brown, grime covered bear in a bowtie and top hat. The bear stared out at the audience with an expression somewhere between a knowing grin and a leer.

“Scoot… Scootaloo…?” Button said tentatively. “I think I’d like to…”

The bear suddenly lurched forward, as it thrust a leg in front of its body. It then did this again, and again. It’s bizarre gait resembling more controlled falling then actual walking.

Button noted with no small amount of complete and utter dread that the bear was heading straight for him.

The bear leaned down and placed a microphone in front of Button.

Button stared at the device as if would explode at a moment’s notice.

The mouth of the bear opened and a speaker underneath hissed and crackled to life as a recording played slowly, then quickly, its tone and pitch changing erratically. “Heeeellloooo theeeeeere… Wha-wha-WHAT’SYOURNAAAaaaaammme?”

Button swallowed. “It’s… it’s…”

“Thaaaaaat’s gre-gre-GREAT!WOULDYOULIKETOHEARASooooooonnnnnggggg… sssssssssssssss…”

Button shook his head as the sounds of static hissed out the speaker. “Oh Celestia, please no…”

“ … ssssssss…” The bear suddenly collapsed to its knees and extended its empty hand towards Button, its paw fell atop one of his forearms and mechanical digits suddenly tightened.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“Oh! hehe…” the pizza slice giggled next to Button. “That just means he likes you and wants to be your special friend forever!”

“AAAHH! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!”

“…sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss…”

Button cried as he violently shook his arm up and down and a desperate attempt to free it from the mechanical grasp of the bear.

“STOP STRUGGLING!” the pizza slice cried. “He holds on tighter if you struggle!”

“KILL IT!” Button cried. “KILL IT! KILL IT!”

“Hold on, Button!” Scootaloo cried. She quickly grabbed a soda and doused the animatronic device with it.

Hissing soon turned to a deep, unnatural rumble as smoke began to pour from the device and sound erupted from the speaker once more. “…ssssssssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!”

Button bolted from his seat, but the mechanical beast held fast. It banged behind him as he galloped into the assortment of broken attractions.

Button glanced up for a moment as he heard his name called. He could have sworn he heard not one but three fillies’ crying out his name in concern. When he glanced down he noticed he was heading straight for a familiar, but unwelcome sight.

Button locked eyes with the empty sockets of the prospector, he felt a hoof slip out from under him as it fell onto a black pool of sludge that formed a moat around the bronze device.

‘BANG!’

“… SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS…!”

Button quickly rose to his feet, noticing the heavy weight on his arm was now gone. In front of him the brass, fluid-leaking mule chomped down on one of the animatronic bear’s arms. The bear flailed wildly as sparks shot off from it and smoke poured from its body. Whether the flailing was a malfunction or in response to the item attached to it was anypony’s guess.

Free from the grasp of the dreaded bear machine, Button broke into a gallop… straight towards one of the open hallways.

“BUTTON, NO!”

Button noticed a flash of something white and felt himself being tackled to the ground.

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! ANOTHER MONSTER GOT ME!” Button shouted.

“Button, it’s me!”

Button opened his eyes. “Oh… Hi, Sweetie Belle!”

Sweetie Belle smiled down at sludge covered colt under her. “Uh… Hey Button… How’s the date—”

“It is literally the worst thing that has ever happened to me ever!” Button said.

Sweetie Belle’s eyes widened. “Oh, no…”

Button shook his head. “Oh, It’s alright—”

‘THUD!’

“EEEK!”

“AAAH!”

Button and Sweetie Belle jumped and wrapped their arms and legs around each other as the bronze donkey prospector fell a few feet in front of them, staring out at them with empty sockets that shot out a few errant sparks. The black ooze continued to pour out of its mouth as if it would never end.

“IT’S NOT ALRIGHT! IT’S NOT ALRIGHT!” Button cried.

An orange blur suddenly approached both Button and Sweetie Belle and grabbed a forearm from both of them. Soon they were being dragged to the entrance of Greasy Pizza’s as Apple Bloom held the door open for them.

“Come on, come on!” Apple Bloom cried.

“I’M RUNNING AS FAST AS I CAN!” Scootaloo cried as she hauled both Button and Sweetie Belle behind her as well as her brown saddle bags that sat on her back.

“…SSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!”

‘SLAM!’

Apple Bloom slammed the doors behind Scootaloo as she dragged Button and Sweetie Belle out of the large brick building of Greasy Pizza’s Pizza Party Playhouse.

For a brief moment the four foals simply stood outside the door and breathed in the cool night air which was noticeably crisp and clean smelling when compared to the greasy, thick, and heavy air inside the building.

“So…” Scootaloo said. “Now that we’ve played some games and ate some food, I guess the date’s ov—”

“THAT SURE WAS FUN…ISH!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. “GEE, I WONDER WHERE YOU TWO WILL GO NEXT ON YOUR AWESOME DATE!”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo groaned.

“Go?” Button uttered. “Yes! Go! Go good!”

Scootaloo shook her head and looked up at Sweetie Belle. Sweetie Belle stared back at Scootaloo with a pleading look.

Scootaloo sighed heavily then turned to Button. “So, Button…” she began. “I was thinking we could go—”

“GREAT!” Button cried as he turned and began to trot away from the large brick building.

“You didn’t let me finish…” Scootaloo said.

“You said the word ‘go’!” Button said as he broke into a canter. “That’s good enough for me!”

Jump to top

Chapter 19: Tar, Dip, and Sandwich

The SweetieMash ChroniclesChapter 19: Tar, Dip, and Sandwiches

Button Mash’s heart fluttered as the skateboard under his hooves rolled slightly. He slowly leaned forward and looked down, his green helmet sliding down over his eyes. Pushing the helmet back into place with a forehoof, he looked down into the skating bowl. The incline looked steep and seemed to curve back upwards far too quick for Button’s comfort. Though lamps provided the skate park with ample light, he couldn’t help but feel this was an activity better done in broad daylight. He swallowed hard and turned, shooting a fearful look to the filly standing on a scooter next to him.

“So… I just… I just roll down…” Button said.

Scootaloo nodded. “Yep!”

“And then I start doing cool tricks and stuff?”

Scootaloo nodded again. “Yeah! It’s super easy.”

“… Really?” Button said as I he looked down the ramp. “I just start doing triple spins and backflips just like that? Like in Pony Hawk’s Pro Skater?”

“I don’t know what that is, but I’m going to say ‘yes’,” Scootaloo answered. “Still, you’re a beginner, so maybe just set your sights on double spins and regular flips for now.”

From the side of a small wooden shop dubbed the ‘Snack Shack’, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom watched the pair.

Apple Bloom stared hard at the colt who tried unsuccessfully to steady himself on the skateboard and adjust his helmet once more. “This seems like a really bad idea… Ah mean… I think we both know Button’s not really the physically active type…”

“Well… this is what Scootaloo wanted…” Sweetie Belle said in an unsure tone that showed she was every bit as pensive about the current development as Apple Bloom.

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “Well, then she’s somehow crazier than you right now!”

Sweetie Belle just puffed out her lower lip. “I’m just trying to help two of my best friends! Is that so wrong?!”

Apple Bloom took one more look at Button and Scootaloo. Button’s board suddenly shot out backwards from under him as he tried once more to stand on it.

“WHAA—OOOFFF!”

The two fillies watched as Button’s eyes began to fill with tears and he started to sniffle.

Apple Bloom nodded. “Considering present circumstances, yes. Yes, that is so wrong!”

“Hey, if you kids aren’t going to buy anything, you need to get the heck away from my stand!”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle tensed slightly as an off-white mare with a curly pink-and-blue mane glared at them, leaning out from the side of her candy stand.

Sweetie Belle quickly raised a forehoof to her lips. “Ssssshhhh! We’re trying to sneakily keep an eye on those two!”

“Hi, Sweetie Belle!” Button called out cheerfully as Scootaloo attempted to help him back on his skateboard.

“IGNORE ME!” Sweetie Belle cried back in a shrill tone.

Apple Bloom smashed a forehoof against her own face.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes as she continued to help Button.

“Oh… okay then…” Button said in a slightly disappointed tone.

The off-white mare began to grind her teeth.

Apple Bloom looked up at her. “What’s the sweetest thing ya got?”

The mare’s expression softened slightly and she ducked back into her stand. She quickly returned with a small bag labeled ‘Smile Dip’. “Here… I’d say it’s just flavored sugar” — the mare’s face broke out into a slightly wild smile— “but technically it’s a sugar-based compound I made that’s 600 times sweeter than regular sugar.”

Apple Bloom dove her forehooves into the brown saddle bags that sat next to the two fillies and came back up with a large hoofful of bits. “I’ll take a bucket.”

The mare’s face lit up as she reached out to collect the bits. “Yes, ma’am!”

Sweetie Belle frowned heavily at Apple Bloom. “Are you sure this is a good time to go on a sugar binge? I—”

“YES!” Apple Bloom answered forcefully.

“… You didn’t let me finish.”

“Ah didn’t think your question required any further explanation.”

“Okay, but—”

“Answer’s still ‘yes’,” Apple Bloom said.

Sweetie Belle gave a defeated sigh.

The off-white mare suddenly trotted up from behind her shack. Green saddlebags sat on her back and she held a blue-and-pink bucket by the handle in her mouth, a big chalky-white candy sticking out of it. She happily sat the bucket down in front of the girls. Sparkly and colorful dust drifted up slightly as the bucket touched the ground.

“Here you go!” the mare said cheerfully. She reached into her saddlebags with a forehoof and pulled out a scroll and a quill, placing them in front of Apple Bloom. “Please initial and sign next to the ‘X’s on this.”

Apple Bloom took the quill in her mouth as she began adding her initials and signature to the document.

“Wait, what is it?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Oh, just a little waiver saying she acknowledges that Bon Bon Candy Incorporated cannot be held liable for any injuries or property damage incurred while under the influence of ‘Smile Dip’.” Bon Bon rolled up the scroll slightly as Apple Bloom continued to initial and sign lines.

“Wait… we’re eight…” Sweetie Belle said. “Shouldn’t we get our parents to sign—”

Apple Bloom let the quill fall out of her mouth and glared at Sweetie Belle. “My parents are dead!”

Sweetie Belle flinched and gave Apple Bloom an apologetic look. “Sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“And done!” Bon Bon said cheerfully as she rolled up the scroll, stuffed it back into her saddlebag, and retrieved her quill. “Have fun, kids!”

Sweetie Belle let out an exasperated sigh as Bon Bon trotted back behind her snack stand. She turned towards Apple Bloom. “Can you please at least hold off on going all sugar-crazy until we’re done with the skate park?”

“We’ll see…” Apple Bloom said.

In front of the skate bowl, Button and Scootaloo still struggled to steady the colt on top of the skateboard.

“Scootaloo… I’m still not sure this is a good idea… I can’t even stand on this thing!”

“Button, you’re supposed to leave one hoof on the ground until you’re ready to go!”

“OH! Now I get it!” Button said happily as placed a back hoof on the ground. “Much better.”

“Great,” Scootaloo said. “Now just push off with that leg.”

“Oh… okay then… here I go…” Button said as he glanced down the incline again.

“…”

“…”

“Button, you have to actually move forward!” Scootaloo cried.

“Right… !” Button looked down again. “And you’re sure this is sa—”

“WOULD YOU JUST GO ALREADY?!” Scootaloo snapped.

Button recoiled slightly then stared down the incline one last time. “Alright… here I go…” Button slowly gave a push with his back leg, causing his skateboard to roll forward about an inch.

Button frowned. “Is it… Is it broken?”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes and sighed. “Here, let me help…” She placed a forehoof on the back of Button’s skateboard and pushed it hard.

Button tensed as his skateboard lurched forward. It hit the sudden dip and both colt and board were soon speeding down the incline.

Button gave out an alarmed and extended “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” as the board he was on cruised downward. The skateboard reached the bottom of the pit, then began rolling uphill.

“AAAAAHHHHEEEEEY! This isn’t so bad!” Button cried. “Wheeee! This is kind of f—”

The skate boarded reached the top of the incline on the other side, and for a brief moment both skateboard and colt hung in the air…

“—uuuAAAHHH—!”

… before falling down towards the skate bowl.

‘THUD!’

“OW!”

‘SMACK!’

“AAAAAH!”

‘BANG!’

“OhHhHhHhHh…”

Scootaloo poked her head over the side to see Button lying in a heap, his helmet sitting crooked over his eyes. “Er… You okay, Button?” she asked.

“Ehhh…Hhheehhh… hheeehhh… sniff… WHOUAAAAAHAAAAHAAAHAAA…!”

“Oh no!” Sweetie Belle cried.

Apple Bloom cocked an eyebrow and stared at Sweetie Belle. “How tha heck did none a’ ya’ll see this comin’?!”

Scootaloo trudged up to Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. “So… uh… that didn’t go so well.”

“… WHOUAAAAHOUAAAAHOUAAAAAAHOUAAAWHOUAAAHOUAAAHOUAAAAAAAA… !”

“Ya think?” Apple Bloom said with no small amount of sarcasm. She pulled out the large white candy stick from her bucket and licked the bits of colorful sweet dust from it. Her pupils dilated slightly. “Hey! Did it suddenly just get a heck of a lot brighter here?”

Scootaloo stared at Apple Bloom briefly, blinked a few times, then looked at Sweetie Belle. “Maybe you should go to him. He always calms down when you help him.”

“No!” Sweetie Belle cried. “I can’t interfere! I’d never forgive myself if I sabotaged your special night! This is supposed to be a night you two will always remember!”

Scootaloo glanced behind her again.

“…WHOUAAAAHOUAAAAHOUAAAAAA… I THINK I’VE GONE BLIND! WHOUAAAAHOUAAAA…!”

Scootaloo shook her head. “Oh, I’m sure we’ll both always remember this.”

Apple Bloom sighed, roughly placing her candy stick back in the bucket. “Ah’ll help him! You two just sort out… whatever it is this all is…” Apple Bloom trudged off towards the skate bowl.

“Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo said, “I’m glad you... you know… want to be a true friend to Button and I, but this clearly isn’t working out!”

“But what if this is your one true shot at happiness?!” Sweetie Belle cried.

Scootaloo glanced behind her again.

“…WHOUAAAAHOUAAAAHOUAAAAAA… I CAN’T SEE! I CAN’T SEE! …WHOUAAAAHOUAAAA…!”

“Then I guess I’m pretty bucked,” Scootaloo answered.

“Scootaloo!” Sweetie Belle cried. “You’re not taking this seriously!”

“I am taking this seriously!” Scootaloo cried. “But… I’m not sure Button and I have a lot in common, is all!”

“Button!” Apple Bloom cried. “Yer helmet just slipped in front of yer face!”

“…WHOUAAAAHOUAAA… Oh, hey! I can see again! Thanks Apple Bloom!”

“… That’s it!” Sweetie Belle cried.

Scootaloo sighed. “What’s it?”

“We need to figure out what you and Button have in common and base your date around that!”

“But I just said we don’t have a lot in common!”

“Then we need to find something you two don’t know you have in common!”

Scootaloo paused and thought about this. “Wait… so like… Something Button and I both really like doing, but don’t know we like doing? Kinda like how the three of us spend every day thinking of things that maybe we’re good at despite never having tried them before in an attempt to get our cutie marks?”

Sweetie Belle nodded. “Yeah! Exactly like that!”

“Huh…” Scootaloo said as she trailed off. Her eyes suddenly widened as if she was realizing something for the first time. “Okay… Sweetie Belle? I’m gonna be honest with you here…”

“Yeaaaah…?” Sweetie Belle replied in an unsure tone.

“So far tonight has been like… a complete disaster! Just total and utter failure…”

Sweetie Belle frowned. “Yeah… I know…”

Scootaloo continued. “When you suggested this new idea, I realized something.”

Sweetie Belle’s ears flopped around her head and looked at Scootaloo with a concerned look.

“We’ve totally been going about this the wrong way!” Scootaloo cried.

“What do you mean?” Sweetie Belle said.

“Hey girls,” Apple Bloom said as she turned the corner. “I got Button out of the pit and…” Apple Bloom trailed off as she noticed the serious expressions on her friends’ faces.

“I mean, you’re right!” Scootaloo said with a smile. “There’s gotta be something out there Button and I both like doing! We just have to find out what that is.”

Sweetie Belle’s face lit up. “Yes!”

Apple Bloom’s eyes went unfocused and she stared off into space. “Girls? The snack bar is selling somethin’ called ‘sugar tar’… I dunno what it is exactly, but between that and the bucket of super sugar, I should be well and distracted from the sheer what-the-heckery of what’s goin’ on here.” Apple Bloom then walked out in front of the booth.

“I’ll get another waiver~!” Bon Bon sang out.

Button slowly walked up to the group of fillies. “Uh… Scootaloo… Sweetie Bel—?”

“IGNORE ME!” Sweetie Belle squeaked out as she quickly hid behind the snack bar.

Button whimpered slightly as he watched Sweetie Belle ‘disappear’ behind the ‘Snack Shack’.

“Yeah, Button?” Scootaloo said.

Button turned towards Scootaloo. “Er… um… I don’t think the skate park is really working out…” Button trailed off and as he eyes went wide. “But… I mean… we can stay here all night if it means not going back to Greasy Pizza’s…”

Scootaloo shook her head and smiled. “That’s okay Button! We’re going to try something else we might like!”

“Cool! … What’s that?”

“That’s what we’re going to find out!”

“I think the date is going a lot better…” Sweetie Belle whispered as she glanced from behind a leafy tree. Several dozen yards away, Button Mash and Scootaloo strolled down a path surrounded on either side by lamps, benches, trees, and shrubs.

“Ah think ah know what color infinity is…” Apple Bloom answered as she stood behind a bush and stared directly up into the night sky. The blacks of her pupils had almost completely swallowed the fiery orange of her irises like a black hole slowly pulling in everything around it.

“… Apple Bloom, how much of that stuff have you had?”

Apple Bloom glared at Sweetie Belle. “Get off mah case, mom!”

Sweetie Belle frowned. “I just need your… are you crying?!”

“… I jus’ made myself sad!” Apple Bloom said as tears began to stream from her eyes.

“Oh, Apple Bloom...” Sweetie Belle said in a sympathetic tone. “Maybe we just need to get your mind off your parents.”

“Oh, I know!” Apple Bloom said in an oddly chipper tone. She held up a small canister that was labeled ‘SUGAR TAR!’ in a bold, dynamic-looking font almost as if the words were shocked with a lightning bolt. Next to the logo in a yellow action balloon, the label advertised a ‘FREE REUSABLE SPOON!’ in bold red font.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea, Apple Bloom?” Sweetie Belle asked in a concerned tone. “I mean… we opened that up already and agreed that it might actually just be tar made from sugar…”

“Anythin’ to fill the empty void left by mah dead parents!” Apple Bloom announced in a chipper tone as she unscrewed the canister, and pulled out a small metal spoon. The spoon was coated in a thick sticky black substance that stretched from the canister to the utensil as Apple Bloom brought it to her mouth.

Sweetie Belle cringed slightly. “Okay but… I’m not sure eating something that might be literally tar is a good—”

“Woh gwosh!” Apple Bloom cried as she laboriously chewed the substance that now coated her teeth. “Awh wa woong! Wish is mwuch woose thwan thwinkin’ ‘bout mwy dwead parwents!”

Sweetie Belle sighed. “You’d think we’d have laws regarding what could be served to ponies or something…”

Mayor Mare set down the quill in her mouth on her desk. “Come in.”

The door to Mayor Mare’s office opened gently as Twilight Sparkle trotted in. “Mayor Mare?”

Mayor Mare smiled and sat up, nodding at Twilight. “Hello Princess Twilight Sparkle, always a pleasure to have you in my office…” She frowned. “I hope nothing too serious has happened.”

Twilight shook her head. “No, no emergencies…” Twilight giggled nervously. “I just had to deal with a little situation…”

Mayor Mare gave Twilight a serious look. “Situation? Please continue.”

Twilight nodded. “You see… I just had to help wash out Spike’s mouth because he tried a product called ‘Sweet Foam…’”

Mayor Mare winced. “Go on…”

“Well… it’s just I’ve been living in Ponyville for a while, and something has been bugging me…”

Mayor Mare nodded. “Go ahead…”

“Well, some of the… er… food stuff ponies sell here don’t seem to be strictly fit for pony consumption… Shouldn’t there be laws around that?”

Mayor Mare gave Twilight a serious look. “I assure you it’s on my and the city council’s ‘to-do list’. It’s just that we’re so busy discussing rebuilding the city and homes after the latest Equestria crisis or something wandered out from the Everfree forest to lay waste to the city each meeting that we rarely have time to get to the… erm… less-than-pressing matters.”

Twilight’s eyes unfocused slightly as she stared off into empty space. “… Fair enough.”

“So we just… walk…?” Button asked as his eyes wandered to a tree where the familiar face of a white unicorn filly poked out from.

Sweetie Belle cried a quick, alarmed “Aie!” and hid behind the tree.

“I think we’re supposed to talk to each other, too…” Scootaloo said as she trotted alongside Button.

“… I thought we were doing that already.”

“No… like… about our feelings…”

“Oh… Okay… Guess I’ll start…” Button wrinkled his brow slightly. “I’m nervous because I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do right now…”

Scootaloo sighed. “Yeah… me too… Let’s try talking about what we see.”

“… What, like ‘I spy’?”

“No… like… uh….” Scootaloo stopped walking and pointed at a bush that seemed to be moaning. “Gee… the park’s plants sure are noisy tonight.”

“Woh Cewestia!” the bush cried out. “Wit’s stwuck to mwy thwoat!”

“Uh…” Button Mash trailed off slightly as he stared the ‘talking bush’, then turned to the tree and smiled. “This is a beautiful tree.”

Scootaloo stared at the tree. “… It looks like all the other trees in the park.”

Button shook his head. “No, I think there’s something special about this particular tree.”

From the other side of the tree’s trunk, Sweetie Belle raised her forehooves in front of her mouth as her cheeks began to turn pink.

“… Button?” Scootaloo said.

Button continued. “… I think this tree would win a beauty contest if it competed against other trees.”

A tiny, happy squeak escaped Sweetie Belle’s muffled mouth.

“Button!”

“Yeah, Scootaloo?”

“I’m bored.”

Button nodded. “Me too.”

“Let’s go.”

“We’re gone.”

Sweetie Belle poked her head out and watched as Button and Scootaloo trotted away. Her cheeks were still red as she focused her attention on Button Mash. “Apple Bush—I mean—Apple Bloom? I think I may have made a terrible mistake.”

“Gwolly!” The Apple Bloom cried. “Wah thwink thwa spwoon wis stwuck too!”

Sweetie Belle nodded grimly. “You’re right, Apple Bloom. I’ve come too far to just abort because I’m scared of what might happen! I’ve got to see this through to the end… for their sake!”

“Nwo, sweriouswly! Wah cwan’t gwet thwis spwoon wout wof mwy mowuth! Awh twink mwy hwoof wis stwuck, too!”

Sweetie Belle whimpered to herself as she stared out into a pond, lit mostly by the stars and crescent moon that reflected in the calm water. With a miserable expression, she focused her attention on a small green canoe sitting in the middle of the pond.

“Thanks fer getting’ that spoon out of mah mouth, Sweetie Belle,” Apple Bloom said from besides Sweetie Belle. “I’d offer to get some of the twigs and stuff out of your mane, but I think ya might want to stay clear of my hooves until I get all the tar off.” Apple Bloom raised her forehooves in front of her face; they were coated in the black Sugar Tar plus sticks, leaves, and pebbles that had gotten stuck to the sticky substance.

Sweetie Belle merely grunted a reply.

Apple Bloom lowered her hooves, stared out at the boat, then back at Sweetie Belle. “Ya know… ya can prob’ly still jus’ tell Button how you feel…”

Sweetie Belle glared at Apple Bloom. “And ruin the special moment those two are having right now?”

Apple Bloom turned towards the boat and her eyelids fell slightly. “Ah’m not sure either considers being stuck in a boat with the other one ‘special’… At this point, Ah think they’re probably figurin’ out what they’re supposed to do.”

“Or they realized they actually like each other…” Sweetie Belle said grumpily.

“Wasn’t that kinda the point?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Yes… no… I don’t….” Sweetie Belle let out a heavy sigh. “Look… I didn’t want to be forced into confessing to Button, alright? This date seemed like the only way to avoid that. But… I mean… I thought this date thing was guaranteed to crash and burn!”

Apple Bloom gave Sweetie Belle a suspicious look. “If that’s true, why’d you push Scootaloo so hard to keep it up?”

“I felt bad, okay?!” Sweetie Bell cried. “I mean… it felt so dishonest putting her on a date that I hoped would be a disaster… I had to convince her to give it her all and treat it like a real date! At least if it didn’t work out, then I wouldn’t feel like I set Scootaloo up to fail.”

“Well… are you ready to tell Button how you feel now?”

Sweetie Belle sighed and shook her head, leaves and twigs fell out of her messy mane. She turning back to the two foals who continued to sit and chat, their boat drifting gently in the pond. “If I confessed now, it’d feel like I manipulated things even worse… I mean… after Greasy's and the skate park, I’m sure Button’s desperate to get out of this…” She frowned as she continued to stare at the boat. “Or at least… he probably was…”

Apple Bloom went quiet for a bit as she thought this over. “… Would a stick full of Smile Dip make ya feel better?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Apple Bloom! This is serious!” Sweetie Belle cried shrilly.

“Ah am serious!” Apple Bloom shot back as she held up her partially dissolved candy stick, glittery sugar dust of all colors sticking to it. “This here super sugar powder has made this night a lot more tolerable.” With that, Apple Bloom placed the candy stick into her mouth causing her pupils to turn into massive black sinkholes that swallowed her fiery orange irises. “Yes, there we go… That’s much better…”

“Apple Bloom, I really think you should stop eating that… it stains your mouth a different color every time you—”

Apple Bloom raised a forehoof to her lips. “Shhhhhhhh!” she shushed forcefully. “Ah can’t hear the Moon Princess’s twin!” she said, pointing out to the moon’s reflection on the water.

Sweetie Belle looked out into the pond in annoyance as she slumped to her stomach. “I wonder what they’re talking about…”

“So we just… sit in a boat?” Button asked as he stared at Scootaloo.

“Er… I think we talk about our feelings or what we see and junk…” Scootaloo answered.

“So… just like the park?”

Scootaloo sighed. “Yep.”

“Except we’re in a boat?”

“… Yeah…”

“And stuck out here… with each other…”

“… I knooooow!” Scootaloo bemoaned. “Maybe we should just go back and forget the whole, crazy date thi—”

The water next to the boat suddenly bubbled and Button Mash and Scootaloo cried out in alarm as a snorkel followed by a stallion with an orange coat, curly-brown mane covered in seaweed, and emerald eyes suddenly emerged from the water. The stallion spit his snorkel out. “DID SOMEPONY SAY CRAZY DATE?! I LOVE CRAZY DATES!” the stallion declared as fish flopped out of his massive tangles of hair.

Button began to shudder uncontrollably as he stared up at the unexpected visitor.

Scootaloo managed to regain enough sense to start stammering out a response. “Who… who…”

“Name’s Cheese Sandwich!” the pony replied, happily gesturing to himself. “And crazy date planning is my specialty… After party planning, singing, accordion playing, song composing, party tank constr—”

Scootaloo held up a hoof. “Okay, but why were you in the pond?”

“Oh, I’ve been waiting underwater for a few hours trying figure out what rhymes with ‘plankton’. But this sounds much more important!”

Scootaloo frowned. “It’s really no—”

Cheese Sandwich suddenly leaned forward and gave the foals a giant smile.

Button cried again in alarm as he tried to push himself further back into the small boat.

“I know just the song that’s guaranteed to get you two to cozy up to one another!”

Scootaloo’s eyes widened. “But we don’t—”

Cheese Sandwich suddenly leaned back. “Way back when I was just a little bitty colt living in a box…”

-o~ Sometime later… ~o-

“… Saddlequerque, Saddlequerque, Saddlequerque, Saddlequerque… Saddlequerquuuuuueeeeeee~!”

Cheese Sandwich smiled as he finished his song and nodded to the rubber chicken with a large red ‘2’ on it’s chest which was set limply on top of a drum set. The drum set was precariously balanced on a small, yellow canoe that was upside down in the water.

“Nice work, Boneless 2,” Cheese Sandwich said. He looked past the drums to an electric guitar which also balanced on the boat, teetering up and down as a rubber chicken with a big red ‘3’ on it rested on the guitar’s neck. He frowned at the second rubber chicken. “Boneless 3? You’re still coming in a little early…”

Button Mash simply stared off into a vast expanse of empty space, he had long since stopped focusing on the terrifying stallion or trying to make sense of the song which has seemed to have started a long, long time ago. “I don’t… I don’t know what just happened…”

“WHEN DID YOU EVEN GET A BOAT?!” Scootaloo cried as she leaned against the edge of her and Button’s canoe and motioned out to Cheese Sandwich’s boat with her forehooves. “HOW WERE THOSE RUBBER CHICKENS PLAYING INSTRUMENTS?!”

“… Scootaloo?” Button said softly as he tugged gently on of Scootaloo’s wings.

Scootaloo took a calming breath and looked down at Button. “… Yeah, Button?”

“I’m scared.”

“Me too.”

“Hold me?”

“Only if you hold me back.”

Cheese Sandwich smiled down at the two trembling foals as they wrapped their legs around each other and stared up at him in terror. “Works every time!” he said. He reached for Boneless 2 and Boneless 3, then dipped his rubber chickens into the water and began to paddle away. “Come on, Bonelesses… I think we’ve earned ourselves a jar of victory mayonnaise.”

Sweetie Belle’s jaw unhinged as she watched Button Mash and Scootaloo hold each other tightly. She let out a sorrowful squeak and shook her head. “No… I knew this might happen… I have… I have to see this through…” She turned to Apple Bloom who was also staring out into the water. “Right, Apple Bloom?”

“Alright, ah think that’s enough Smile Dip for me,” Apple Bloom declared as she pushed the bucket away from her. “Either this stuff is messin’ with mah head or that song was about sauerkraut, snorkels and butt molecules and lasted twelve minutes…”

Sweetie Belle swallowed as she and Apple Bloom stared out from a bush. Several dozen yards away, Button Mash and Scootaloo had returned from their boat and had opted to simply standing next to the pond and stare up at the sky.

“This is bad…” Sweetie Belle uttered.

“Yer tellin’ me!” Apple Bloom cried as she examined her hooves that had picked up even more random twigs, leaves, and pebbles. “We’ve been in so many bushes, we’re gonna be pulling sticks and tiny leaves out of our mane for weeks!” Apple Bloom looked up at her ripped bow which sported a number of twigs poking out, colorful stains, and one big sticky black mass that caused it sag on one side. She frowned. “I’m gonna need a new bow, too…”

“No, I mean those two!” Sweetie Belle said motioning out to Scootaloo and Button with forehoof which was also caked in black goo, twigs, leaves, and pebbles. “They’re getting along and basking in each other’s presence!” she announced in a high pitch.

Apple Bloom squinted her eyes as she looked at the two foals. “Are ya sure they’re not just traumatized beyond words at this point? Ah mean… I’m pretty close to that mahself, and I haven’t even had to do all the crazy things those two have.”

“No!” Sweetie Belle said. “They’re falling for each other! I just know it!” Sweetie Belle raised her forehooves to her cheeks. “Oh, this was a big mistake! It should be me standing next to Button!”

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Ya think?”

“Oh this is so, so bad!” Sweetie Belle said. “What if they like, like, like each other?!” Sweetie Belle grabbed Apple Bloom’s blow and pulled her face close to her own. “What if they—” Sweetie Belle swallowed “—love each other?”

With no small degree of effort, Apple Bloom pulled Sweetie Belle’s hooves away from her bow. The bow ripped as some of the sticky goo on Sweetie Belle’s hooves held as best it could to the tattered pink accessory. Apple Bloom took a half step back. “Yer jumping to a pretty big conclusion there.”

“No wait…” Sweetie Belle said with a smile. “I know what to do… I just need to wait for the perfect time to confess!”

Apple Bloom scrunched her lips up in concern. “Ah’m afraid to ask… But when that would be?”

“Right after the priest says ‘speak now, or forever hold your peace’.”

Apple Bloom furrowed her brow slightly, and then her eyes went wide. “… Yer gonna wait until Scootaloo and Button’s weddin’ before you say something… That’s just…” Apple Bloom peered closely at Sweetie Belle’s face, noting her pupils were massive. “Did you take a lick off the Smile Dip stick?”

Sweetie Belle pointed a accusing forehoof at Apple Bloom. “You said it would make me feel better!”

“Oh… well… Did it?”

“I just imagined Scootaloo and Button Mash getting married! What do you think?!”

Away from the bushes and by the pond, things were much quieter. Almost silent, save for the occasional bickering of two far-off fillies.

“You okay…?” Scootaloo asked Button Mash in a concerned voice. “You’ve just been standing there saying nothing for like… a while now…”

Button continued to stare up at the sky, but replied as if all he was waiting for was simply waiting to be asked. “Scootaloo… don’t take this the wrong way, but… This was all somehow worse than going out crusading with you three…”

“Ugh… I know,” Scootaloo said. “I mean… erm… Looking back, I had some not so great ideas that probably helped led to that. So… I’m sorry for that…”

Button looked at Scootaloo and smiled. “At least there’s no weird stallion with rubber chickens trying to set the mood this time.”

Cheese Sandwich suddenly emerged from the bushes a few feet from Button and Sweetie. “DID SOMEONE SAY ‘WEIRD STALLION WITH RUB—”

“AAAAHHHHH!” Button screamed in alarm.

“LEAVE!” Scootaloo commanded.

“Alright, fine!” Cheese Sandwich said, his expression suddenly turning serious. “Just remember… if you ever need a pony to sing a polka version of whatever is popular at the time, say my name three times.”

“… And you’ll… you’ll appear?” Button asked in a fearful tone.

Cheese Sandwich shook his head. “Probably not unless I’m actually right there, but it’s possible I’ll sense your need and start playing a song wherever I happen to be.”

“Oh… alright…” Button said in a confused tone.

Scootaloo sighed as Cheese Sandwich gathered his snorkel and trudged back into the pond, the water quickly raising up above his head as he trotted further and further into the small body of water.

Scootaloo let out another groan. “Finally!”

Button nodded. “Yep! Alone at last.”

“What?!” Scootaloo said in surprise.

“Yeah… This is nice…” Button said calmly as he went back to looking up at the stars.

“… It is?” Scootaloo said as she felt her face go hot.

Button nodded. “This is the first time tonight everything’s been quiet…”

Scootaloo relaxed slightly and stared up at the sky, realizing that even the arguing from the bushes had ceased. “Huh… you’re right… It’s been one crazy night.”

Button Mash let out a small chuckle. “Heh… Well… at least I got to try a few things I never would have done if you hadn’t taken me out.”

Scootaloo turned to Button, surprise having just completed a massive, multi-novel length saga across her face. “You couldn’t… you… you actually had fun!?”

Button frowned. “Well… not fun exactly… but, I mean…” Button turned and gave Scootaloo a serious look. “If it weren’t for Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and you… I’d still just be playing video games instead of playing outside or even talking to anypony else, still.”

Scootaloo chuckled slightly. “Alright… well… can’t argue with you there. Still… I mean… it’s been pretty bad tonight…”

“Maybe…” Button said trailing off slightly. He smiled warmly at Scootaloo. “But I don’t think I’d have noticed how pretty the stars were if it weren’t for everything else that happened.”

Scootaloo simply stared back at Button. “Uh… Gee… I’m not sure what to say…”

Button shook his head and went back to staring at the stars. “It’s alright… You don’t have to say anything.”

Scootaloo stared at Button for a moment, feeling her cheeks go warm as the young colt with a fiery-brown mane stared up at the sky. Slowly, she too looked up at the stars.

For a while, neither foal said anything. Both simply sat and enjoyed the quietness of the night as the stars twinkled above them.

“Uh… Scootaloo…?” Button said in a hushed tone.

“Ye… yeah?” Scootaloo said as she slowly lowered her head and found herself staring into Button’s amber eyes.

Button leaned forward towards Scootaloo. So close in fact that she could feel his hot breath on her face. She tensed her body as her heart began to pound in her chest. She locked her lilac eyes with Button’s.

From the bushes Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom stared at the two foals. Their hearts also raced as they watched Button edge closer and closer to Scootaloo.

Button suddenly broke eye contact and stared up into the sky. “… I kinda wish you were somepony else right now… Is that bad?”

From the bushes, there was a rustling as Sweetie Belle fell over onto her back and rested a forehoof against her heart.

Scootaloo managed a small smile. “No, that’s fine Button…” Scootaloo rubbed the back of her head with a forehoof. “I… uh… figured this was a longshot… but… erm… I guess it was nice to see that for myself. You know?”

Button looked towards Scootaloo and smiled. “… Friends?”

Scootaloo leaned over and wrapped her forearms around Button. “Friends.”

Button paused for a moment, then returned the hug.

From the bushes, Apple Bloom leaned over Sweetie Belle and smiled. “Ya doing alright down there?”

“Wow… I… I can’t believe how relieved I feel right now!”

Apple Bloom smiled and extended a hoof, Sweetie Belle accepted it and soon she was back on her hooves.

“So… We’re done with this date thing, right?”

“Oh my gosh, yes!” Sweetie Belle said. She glanced down at her chest. “I don’t think my heart could take any more of this tonight!”

“Yo! The white unicorn who is really bad at hiding.”

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom up towards Scootaloo, who stood a few feet away.

Scootaloo pointed behind her with a forehoof towards Button Mash. “Go walk Button home. I think he’d like to spend some time with you.”

“Really?!” Sweetie Belle said, her face lighting up.

Scootaloo nodded. “Yeah, but uh…” She looked Sweetie Belle up and down. “Maybe avoid hugging him tonight… I don’t think Button’s psyche can take having whatever is stuck to you getting on him at this point.”

Sweetie Belle nodded happily and walked out of the bush, more leaves and twigs getting stuck on her hooves as she happily trotted towards Button Mash.

Scootaloo watched her leave then turned towards Apple Bloom. “Alright… seriously… What the heck is that black stuff you two have all over your hooves?!”

Apple Bloom sighed heavily. “Sugar Tar…”

“… What?”

“It’s like a candy…” Apple Bloom answered. “Like a candy tar… that you spoon into your mouth.”

Scootaloo stared at Apple Bloom for a beat. “… Why would anypony put something with the word ‘tar’ in it in their mouth?!”

“Hi, Button!” Sweetie Belle said happily as she approached.

“Hi, Sweetie Belle,” Button said. “Is it okay to talk to you now?”

“Yep!” Sweetie Belle answered. “I was uh… just… busy… earlier…”

“… Okay!” Button said with a cheerful smile. “Erm… Sweetie Belle?”

“Yeah, Button?”

“You’re like… covered in dirt and leaves… and there’s a spoon stuck to your hoof…”

Sweetie Belle sighed. “Yeah… I know…”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo watched as Sweetie Belle and Button Mash trotted off back towards Ponyville, happily chatting away as if the last several hours were nothing more than a distant memory to the both of them.

Scootaloo glanced at Apple Bloom. “So, you enjoy the show?”

Apple Bloom shook her head. “Not really… it was like being too close to a carriage crash and getting hit with wood and splinters and stuff…” She gave Scootaloo a serious look. “What I’m more worried about is you… Ya looked like you had a moment there with Button and then he shot you down.”

Scootaloo grinned pensively. “Well, you know… I gave it my best shot… Guess we weren’t meant to be after all…”

Apple Bloom leaned forward and examined Scootaloo’s face carefully.

Scootaloo leaned back and clamped her mouth shut as she nervously avoided eye contact with Apple Bloom.

Apple Bloom smirked. “You sabotaged your own date with Button, didn’t you?”

Scootaloo relaxed her body and looked back at Apple Bloom. “Oh my Celestia! Of COURSE I sabotaged our date! Who in their right mind takes anypony to Greasy Pizza’s if they’ve already been there once?! And Button at a skate park!? How could it not end in tears?”

Apple Bloom giggled. “Okay, but what about everything else?”

Scootaloo sighed and shook her head. “Sweetie Belle was dead set on us having a date that wasn’t a complete and utter meltdown… I figured everything else would just flop and I’d be done with it.” Scootaloo stared up at the sky. “He did have me scared a bit when we were stargazing, though…”

“Okay, but why try to make it go bad?”

“Do you even have to ask?!” Scootaloo cried. “He and Sweetie Belle are crazy in like for one another! Emphasis on crazy! I needed this date to fail and fail hard so Sweetie Belle would get it out of her head that there was even a remote chance Button and I could be together!”

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “Alright, but Greasy Pizza’s? That’s like dealin’ with a mess of fruit bats by settin’ the orchard on fire.”

“Hey, I tried to make sure he wasn’t too traumatized!” Scootaloo retorted. “I just think scary things kind of follow Button around, you know?”

Apple Bloom giggled. “Like us?”

Scootaloo sighed. “Like us…” She shook her head. “Only Button could think we’re doing him a favor by hanging around with him.”

Apple Bloom smiled and nodded, but her face suddenly turned serious. “Speaking of favors, do ya mind helping scrub all this sugar dust and tar offa’ me? I mean… I really don’t want to have to explain everythin’ that lead up to me eating ‘Sugar Tar’ being a good idea at the time.”

Scootaloo nodded. “Sure, Apple Bloom. Maybe Sweetie Belle will swing by the treehouse later.”

“Hey, Scootaloo! Hey, Apple Bloom!” Sweetie Belle called out as she trotted up to the two fillies. Apple Bloom sat in half a barrel that was filled with soapy water. Scootaloo stood next to her, holding a scrub brush in both her forehooves and vigorously trying to scrub the thick mass off black goo off one of Apple Bloom’s forehooves.

“Howdy, Sweetie Belle!” Apple Bloom said cheerfully as she raised a hoof, still covered in tar, and waved.

“Hey… Sweetie… Belle…” Scootaloo said as she scrubbed Apple Bloom’s hoof with all her might. “A little help?”

Sweetie Belle smiled as her horn glowed green, a glow that soon matched the brush’s handle that continued to scrub Apple Bloom’s hoof.

Scootaloo let out a relieved sigh as she stepped away from the half-barrel that served as a wash tub.

Apple Bloom smiled at Sweetie Belle. “How’d you get washed up so quickly anyhow?”

“Oh, well…”

“Oh Sweetie Belle, you have to play!” Button Mash pleaded as he and Sweetie Belle trotted past the thatch-roofed homes of Ponyville.

“I don’t know…” Sweetie Belle said as she stared up at the moon. “It’s getting pretty late… I mean… my parents or Rarity might start to get worried…” Sweetie Belle looked down at her hooves. “Plus I think your mom’s not just going to let me up into your room with all this gunk on me.”

Button puffed out his lower lip. “But I wanted to play with you aaallll day!” he whined.

Sweetie Belle sighed. “Yeah, me too…” she admitted as she and Button made it up to his house’s front door.

Button’s face lit up. “So you’ll play then!” he said as he raised a forehoof to the doorknob.

Sweetie Belle gave Button a little grin. “Well… maybe just a little bit… if your mom says its okay…”

“Oh you’re going to love this new game, Sweetie Belle!” Button said as he pushed open the doors to his house. “It’s got—”

“Hey, there’s my little guy!”

“Hey, squirt.”

Button’s eyes shot open wide as he turned and looked into the house. Down the long hallway and in the living room, a dark-brown earth pony with a spiky black mane, amber eyes, and a bushy mustache smiled wide at Button. Across from him a light reddish-brown teenaged colt with a short, black mane gave Button the smallest hints of a smile.

“DAD! GIBSON!”

Sweetie Belle watched as Button suddenly broke into a gallop. The reddish-brown colt leaned back as Button got up to speed.

“WAIT!” the dark-brown earth pony cried. “BUTTON SLOW—AAAAAAAHHHHH!”

There was a crash as Button propelled himself like a shot into the stallion.

“Button!” Love Tap said in a chastising tone. “I know you’re excited to see your father, but no running in the house!”

“Sorry mom!”

“I’m… happy to see you too… son…” a woozy voice said.

“Geez, I’m just glad you were here, Dad,” Gibson said. “That little squirt always screws up my hair when he tackles me.”

Sweetie Belle smiled sadly to herself and turned.

“Sweetie Belle?” Love Tap called out.

Sweetie Belle looked back up to see Love Tap staring at her from down the hallway.

“Could you wait there a second, please?” Love Tap asked sweetly.

Sweetie Belle simply nodded.

Love Tap smiled at Sweetie Belle as she began trotting up to her.

Sweetie Belle looked up at Love Tap as she approached. “Button’s dad and brother are back?”

Love Tap nodded. “Yes, they decided to surprise us by coming back unannounced.” Love Tap chuckled and shook her head as she stood in front of Sweetie Belle. “I should have never encouraged Chip to try being spontaneous…”

Sweetie Belle smiled as she looked past Love Tap. “I’m glad… Button seems so happy.”

Love Tap smiled. “We all are…” Her smile suddenly dropped. “So… How’d it go?” Love Tap asked as she looked at Sweetie Belle with nervous eyes.

Sweetie Belle smiled slightly and shook her head. “Complete disaster… I just don’t think Scootaloo and Button Mash are a good match.”

Love Tap chuckled as her eyes relaxed. She glanced back into the living room. “Well… He seems to have bounced back quickly enough.”

Sweetie Belle frowned. “Yeah… Though I’m not sure how…” She took one last glance past Love Tap as Button excitedly looked from his father to Gibson, rattling off video game title after video game title. “Button probably wants to spend time with his dad and brother…” Sweetie Belle said with a hint of melancholy. “I should go…”

Love Tap smiled warmly at Sweetie Belle. “Not before I clean all that… whatever it is off you, you’re not!”

“But—Whoa!” Sweetie Belle uttered as Love Tap reached out for her with a hoof and placed her on top of her back.

“Sorry,” Love Tap said as she began trotting down the hallway, “but my coat is easier to clean than the carpet.”

“Let’s hope you can actually pull me off your back when we get to the bathroom then.”

Love Tap chuckled.

“… I wasn’t joking…”

“Oh…” Love Tap said in a slightly concerned tone as she began to trot up the stairs.

“Don’t you want to spend some time with your family?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“No, it’s alright… They’re not going anywhere.” Love Tap answered as she and Sweetie Belle made it to the top of the stairs. “I’ll give those three some ‘male bonding time’ this way,” Love Tap said with a smile. “Besides, Rarity would kill you if she saw you like this.”

Sweetie Belle’s eyes went wide. “Yes… yes she would.”

Scootaloo frowned. “So, no confession?”

Sweetie Belle shrugged and smiled. “Button had other things on his mind at that point.” She smiled. “I still got a hug from him once I was cleaned and dried, though.”

Apple Bloom smiled as she toweled off her wet mane. “Well, at least ya can have a guilt-free confession later.”

“I know!” Scootaloo cried. “Finally!”

Sweetie Belle giggled nervously. “Yeeeeeaaaaaah…” she said, trailing off into silence.

“…”

“…”

“…”

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “You are gonna confess, aren—”

Sweetie Belle cleared her throat. “So…” she said. “Who do you think Button Mash meant when he wished Scootaloo was somepony else?”

“… What?” Apple Bloom said flatly.

Scootaloo said nothing and took a half-step back.

“I mean… It could be anypony, really!” Sweetie Belle continued as she stared up at the sky.

“WHAT?!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.

“Well, it’s obviously not me,” Scootaloo said as she took another step back.

“Well, yeah…” Sweetie Belle said. “But I mean…” She looked at Apple Bloom. “What if it’s Apple Bloom?”

“Me?!” Apple Bloom cried. “That’s crazy! We barely have anythin’ in common with each other!”

“Well maybe you two just don’t know what it is you have in common yet!” Sweetie Belle said.

Apple Bloom turned to Scootaloo with a desperate expression on her face. “Scootaloo!” she cried. “Help! WAIT COME BACK!”

“NOT MY PROBLEM!” Scootaloo shouted back as she ran away as fast as her legs would carry her.

“Wait!” Apple Bloom pleaded. “She’s crazy!You can’t just leave me with her!”

Scootaloo shook her head as she galloped forward. “Sorry! I already dealt with a crazy date! I’m out!”

“Hey! A Date!” Sweetie Belle said. “There’s an idea… maybe you should ask Button on a—”

“Scootalooooooooooooooo!” Apple Bloom shouted.

“Nooooooooooooope!” Scootaloo called back.

Love Tap yawned as she trotted into her bedroom, closing the door behind her. She looked towards her bed and sent a loving glance to the pony who currently occupied it.

Chip looked up from the book he was reading and smiled. “Button asleep?”

Love Tap nodded as she trotted up to the bed and lifted the covers. “Out like a light.” She crawled up next to Chip. “He’s had a busy day.”

Chip nodded, setting his book next to him. “Your letters mentioned he was getting out a lot more and playing with friends… Er… was that filly one of them?”

Love Tap chuckled. “Hehehe… She’s sort of Button’s fillyfriend.”

“‘Sort of’?”

Love Tap smiled knowingly. “Remember when we were young and I used to drag you around into doing a bunch of stuff you never wanted to do just so I could hang out with you?”

Chip stared up at the ceiling briefly and tapped a forehoof against his chin. “Oh, yeah…”

Love Tap began to nuzzle her head against Chip’s. “That… exactly like that…” she murmured.

Chip smiled, nuzzling his wife back until his eyes caught something. “Honey…?”

“Hmmm…?”

“Why is there a carrot on the nightstand?”

Love Tap suddenly bolted up and leaned her head past Chip, staring at the vegetable. “… Because I was going to julienne it.”

“Upstairs… in the bedroom?”

Love Tap sighed and went back to nuzzling her husband. “I think it would be better if I explain everything in the morning…”

Chip stared at the wall across from the bed. “… Is it really exactly like when you used to drag me around to things I didn’t want to do…?”

Love Tap stopped her nuzzling. “… Worse…”

Chip’s eyes opened wide. “… Oh… oh my… Tomorrow then. After coffee,” he said as he once again rubbed his head against Love Tap’s.

Love Tap giggled to herself as her husband’s mustache tickled the side of her face. “… Missed you…” she murmured quietly.

“Missed you, too…” Chip replied in a hushed tone.

Soon arms were wrapped around necks, and legs intertwined as two ponies enjoyed the feeling of the other held tightly against their bodies for the first time in months. The happy couple let their concerns over their children and misplaced vegetables drift away from their thoughts, focusing only on each other. Each finally remembered what it was to feel whole for the first time in what seemed like ages.

Jump to top

Chapter 20: Only Dig for Valuable Minerals during the Day

The SweetieMash Chronicles

Chapter 20: Only Dig for Valuable Minerals during the Day

-ooooooo-

Author’s notes: There’s some comic references and some gentle nods to my other fic, The Wheel and the Butterfly, in this chapter, but not enough that you’d be lost if you haven’t read either.

Enjoy and thanks for reading!

-ooooooo-

Rarity wrinkled her brow slightly as she stared at something on her work table and took a cautious step closer as if the item in front of her might suddenly explode if she made a false move. She carefully looked over the pink rectangular item with a white heart on it that was set in front of her. She eyed it with an intensity almost as if it was a gem she was checking the quality of. Carefully, she extended her front hooves towards the front of it.

The item clicked softly as Rarity’s hooves made contact. Rarity tossed an unsure look to the light tan mare standing next to her.

Love Tap gave Rarity a reassuring smile and nodded to the item.

With all the caution of a child trying to open a door late at night as not to wake their parents, Rarity gritted her teeth slightly and pulled up on the item with one hoof. The top half of the item pivoted upwards on a hinge on the back. Slowly, Rarity continued to raise the top half until she saw her reflection in a dark screen. Looking down, she saw several rows of rectangular buttons.

Rarity turned towards Love Tap once more. “So… What’s it do?”

Love Tap’s smile turned slightly strained. “Lots of things! You can type up documents in it. You can keep track of your boutique’s inventory.” Love Tap’s voice dropped to just a hair’s breadth above a mumble. “You can play games on it.”

Rarity cocked an eyebrow. “What was that last one, dear?”

Love Tap forced an awkward smile to manifest on her face. “You can play games on it.”

“Ah, so it’s basically like one your son’s electric doodads.”

Love Tap waved a forehoof about. “No, no, no, no, no, no. It’s way more sophisticated than that.”

“But your son has one right?”

Love Tap frowned slightly as she predicted where the conversation was heading. “Yeah…”

“And he plays his beep-bop games on it?”

Love Tap scrunched her lips to one side of her face. “Well… it’s not like Button is going to try his hooves at writing or has much to inventory.” Love Tap thought about this for a moment. “Though, maybe Chip could help him use it to help keep track of his video games.” Love Tap’s eyes lit up and she turned back towards Rarity. “Oh! But he can use it to help him with his homework.”

“Hmmmm…” Rarity hummed simply.

Love Tap let out a sigh as her ears flopped down around her head. “We just need some ponies to test these and report to us how useful they find them.”

“Hmmmmmmm…”

“I’m sure once you start using it, you’ll wonder how you lived withou—”

“Hmmmmmmmmmm…”

Love Tap sighed once more and quickly put her happy countenance back on. “I have one and I love it! I’m surprised the Princess herself didn’t want one.”

Rarity pursed her lips into a small frown. “Well, she’s a bit busy with an important matter at the moment. I’ll keep it around and try to find a use for it.”

Love Tap smiled warmly at Rarity. “That’s all I ask.”

“Rarity! I’m hooooome~!”

Love Tap smiled as Sweetie Belle’s voice rang through the boutique’s main room and into Rarity’s work room where the two mares stood.

Rarity leaned her head past a mannequin with a partially finished sparkling blue dress on it. “In here, dearie!”

Love Tap smiled at Rarity as the sounds of something stirring from the front room could be heard. “Foal sitting again?”

Rarity smiled. “Well, my boutique is closer to the school and her and her little friend’s hideout than my parent’s home. And I do have the room available.”

“Well, it must be nice to not be by yourself all the time.”

“Whatever do you mean, dearie? I have Opal to keep me company.”

Love Tap chuckled. “Sure, but you better be careful. You don’t want to end up some sort of crazy cat lady.”

“But I only have the one cat,” Rarity said as the sound of hoofs softly trotting on carpet grew closer. Sweetie Belle appeared in the doorway, her white bag with the green strap and gold clasp slung across her chest.

“Hey, Rarity! Oh! Hello, Button’s mom.”

Love Tap smiled at Sweetie Belle. “Hello, Sweetie Belle.”

Rarity raised an eyebrow at Love Tap. “Button’s mom?”

Love Tap chuckled. “It’s just what’s stuck with the kids, I guess.”

“I see,” Rarity said simply.

“Hey!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed as she noticed the device on top of Rarity’s table. She trotted over next to Rarity and stood up on her hind legs, propping her front legs on the table. “What’s that?”

Rarity’s horn glowed with an azure light that soon matched an aura that surrounded the device. It scooted back about a foot away from Sweetie Belle.

“Sweetie Belle,” Rarity said in a somewhat maternal toy. “This is a delicate piece of equipment. I don’t think you should be touching it.”

Sweetie Belle puffed out her lower lip and gave Rarity a deep frown.

Love Tap chuckled. “It’s alright. Maybe she can play some of those ‘beep-bop’ games on it.”

Sweetie Belle chuckled. “‘Beeb-bop’ games? You make it sound so lame! Like something Rarity would say!”

Rarity’s cheeks grew puffy and slightly red as she glared at Sweetie Belle. “Well, I’m sorry if some of us ponies don’t have time for all those strange, time wasting gizmos!”

Sweetie Belle scowled back at Rarity. “Well maybe if somepony learned how to have fun every once in a while, you’d know more about them!”

Love Tap gave Sweetie Belle and Rarity a stern look. “Sweetie Belle! Don’t insinuate your sister is lame! Rarity, stop belittling your sister’s hobbies.”

Rarity and Sweetie Belle tensed up like two foals just caught quarreling by one of their parents (which wasn’t too far from the mark). They turned and gave Love Tap an apologetic look.

“Yes, ma’am,” they said simultaneously.

Love Tap’s eyes widened and she raised a forehoof over her mouth. “Oops, sorry girls. Force of habit.”

Sweetie Belle lowered herself back to the ground as Rarity smiled and shook her head. “It’s alright, darling. Sweetie Belle and I do need to be kept in line from time to time.”

Love Tap chuckled. “Alright, well I better be going.”

“Awww…” Sweetie Belle said in a disappointed tone.

Love Tap smiled and rolled her eyes. “I’m sure you’ll see me soon enough, Sweetie Belle.”

“Won’t you stay for tea, dear?” Rarity asked.

Love Tap shook her head. “I wish I could, but I’ve got to get home and make lunch for everypony.” She smiled warmly. “It’s so nice having the family back together again.”

“Very well,” Rarity said with a nod. “Next time then.” Her horn glowed azure as she levitated a pair of brown saddle bags and gently placed them on Love Tap’s back.

“Of course!” Love Tap replied. She began to trot out of the room. “Take care, you two!”

“Bye-bye!” Sweetie Belle said cheerfully with a wave.

“Goodbye!” Rarity said.

Sweetie Belle looked at the device on Rarity’s table then turned to grin at her sister.

Rarity sighed. “Well, if Love Tap says it’s okay for you to be on it, then by all means, you can figure out what to do with it!”

“Thanks, Rarity!” Sweetie Belle practically squeaked out.

“Hmmm…” Rarity hummed as she watched Sweetie Belle enthusiastically pull the device closer to her with a green glow of her magic. Rarity flashed her sister one more serious look. “Just be careful with that, alright? I shudder to think what Love Tap would say to me if that device broke in my care.”

“Don’t worry! I’ll be careful!” Sweetie Belle said.

“Quite,” Rarity replied as she trotted over to her red sewing machine. Soon the machine was taping along as Rarity peered through red framed glasses and pushed red fabric under the needle. The needle went up and down, inserting a pink thread into the material below. So entranced by her work was she, that Rarity barely even took notice of the whistle like music notes and melodic hum that came from the device.

“Rarity! How do I make this go?!”

“Excuse me…?” Rarity asked as she looked up from her work.

“This thing!” Sweetie Belle said as she pointed to the screen of the device. “How do I make it go?!”

Rarity stopped her sewing and trotted over to Sweetie Belle. “Why, whatever do you meahahahaheeeaaaan?!” Dozens of tiny square pictures filled the screen above words Rarity had never seen before, let alone knew the meaning of. The words she did understand were often squashed together with a capital letter denoting when the new word began as if space had no meaning to this small device. Rarity could feel herself being sucked into the azure background with its vaguely wave-like or maybe wind motif. Reality crumbled around her as she attempted to discern the abstract meaning of the four colored squares arrange next to each other in the upper right hand corner. She soon found herself staring up at the red, green, blue and yellow squares from an azure ocean full of tiny square debris.

Rarity began to flounder, thrashing her legs frantically and spitting out water as she desperately latched hold of a green tiny square that read ‘Excel’, only to find the item less than buoyant when she grabbed hold. She felt herself sinking as she stared up at the multicolored boxes in the sky, making one last prayer they the bizarre geometrical symbol would grant her mercy and deliver her from this strange, alien world made out of bright, foreign icons.

The symbols remained motionless, as if passing silent judgment on upon the unicorn’s accomplishments. Her life and all everything she had done in it found wanting as she sank deeper into the abyss.

“Rarity!”

Rarity’s pupils suddenly grew from tiny dots in the center of her blue eyes to their normal size. She was still at the boutique. How long did she spend in that other world? Days? Weeks? Years?! It was impossible to tell.

“Rarity, are you okay? You’ve just been staring at the screen for like 30 seconds!”

Rarity gave Sweetie Belle a sheepish look. “Oh… er… Sorry, Sweetie Belle.”

Sweetie Belle leaned back from her sister slightly. “And you’re even drooling.”

“A lady does not drool, Sweetie Belle!” Rarity said, mustering her dignity to her as she wiped a forearm across her mouth. “I was merely moistening my tongue to better answer you.”

“Oh! So you know how to make it go?”

Panic gripped Rarity’s features and traveled down her body, stopping to place a stranglehold on her heart before it reached her hoofs. “Na… No, Sweetie Belle.”

Sweetie Belle frowned. “But I want to play!” she whined.

Amidst Rarity’s deep, azure ocean of panic, an idea appeared like a lifesaver thrown from a passing ship. “Why don’t you take this to your dear friend, Button Mash? I bet he knows all about this sort of—”

Rarity took one last glance at the device and swallowed hard.

“—thing…”

Sweetie Belle’s face lit up. “Hey, yeah! Maybe he has one, too and we can play together! Like with his and his brother’s Joyboys!”

Rarity’s face suddenly turned a luminescent shade of red, almost enough to cast crimson light on the room itself. “I… I beg your pardon?!”

Sweetie Belle smiled. “Joyboys, you know…” Sweetie Belle held up her hooves as if holding something in between them.

Rarity felt the strangle hold return to her heart with a vengeance.

“That little green game machine Button always has with him!”

Rarity let out a huge gust of air as if she was banishing a malignant entity that had possessed her personage. “Right… Joyboy…” She shook her head and looked up at Sweetie Belle. “Why don’t you take this thing and run along? I’m sure Button and his mother would be delighted to see you.”

“Thanks, Rarity!” Sweetie Belle said excitedly. With a light green glow of her horn, the device was quickly closed up, placed into Sweetie Belle’s bag, and soon the white filly was galloping out of the room with her bag on her back.

Rarity let out another sigh of relief. “I think… I think I need that tea now…”

-ooo-

‘Knock, knock!’

“Gibson, dear?” Love Tap’s voice called out through the cozy Ponyville home. “Can you get that please? Mommy is making lunch for everypony.”

“Of course!” A young, masculine voice replied. A teenaged earth pony stallion with a light reddish-brown coat, a short black mane, and a music note cutie walked towards the front door. “Hope you’re making extra!” Gibson shouted back as he trotted down the blue-carpeted hallway with its beige walls. “I invited a couple of babes to come by today!”

“… Sure, sweetie…” Love Tap replied, practically inserting an eye roll into her response.

Gibson smiled wide as he opened the door wide. “Heeeellooooo laaadies~!” he purred. “So glad you could…” Gibson trailed off as he realized he was greeting empty space.

“Hello, uh… Button’s brother… sir…” A small voiced called out. “Can I come in?”

Gibson looked down and scowled at the little white filly that was on his family’s doorstep. “Look, little girl. I’m hoping one or two real girls show up, and I can’t have a bunch of little kids—”

“GIBSON?!” Love Tap’s voice called out from deep within the house. “Is that Sweetie Belle? You be nice to her or you’re spending the next year in your room!”

“—I mean, ‘come in.’” Gibson said as he stood aside and held the door open.

“Thank you!” Sweetie Belle said cheerfully as she trotted inside.

Gibson poked his head out of the house, took a quick look around, and hung his head. He sighed heavily as he closed the door behind him.

Love Tap poked her head into the hallway and smiled. “Hello again, Sweetie Belle!”

“Hi, Button’s mom!” Sweetie Belle replied. “Is Button home?”

Love Tap smiled warmly. “He’s in his room playing a new game on one of the computers his father built.”

“Hey! I helped too!” Gibson said indignantly.

“I know, sweetie,” Love Tap said as she favored her son with a smile. She made a kissy face at Gibson. “Mommy’s so proud of you.”

Gibson let out a groan. “Now if only some other girls liked my accomplishments.”

Love Tap chuckled. “Don’t worry. You’ll find somepony in your own time.”

Gibson glanced down at Sweetie Belle as his frown sunk lower. “Yeah, I bet…”

Sweetie Belle gave Love Tap an unsure look. “So is Button in his room or…”

Love Tap smiled and nodded. “He is! Go right on upstairs.”

“Thank you!” Sweetie Belle said happily as she bolted down the hallway and up the staircase.

Gibson watched her leave and then shot his mom an irritated look. “And there’s two more just like her?”

Love Tap chuckled. “Your brother seems to have a way with fillies his age.”

Gibson furrowed his brow. He grumbled to himself, “Little brat doesn’t even play an instrument…”

-ooo-

“Button?” Sweetie Belle called out as she trotted down the upstairs hallway towards Button’s room. “I need your help with something!”

“Sweetie Belle?!” Button called out excitedly. “I’m in my room! I have something to show you!”

Sweetie Belle smiled and picked up her pace, cantering down the hall and into a room with purple a purple carpet. Button sat at a large wooden green table, a blue device much like the one she carried in her bag in front of him.

Sweetie Belle’s face lit and horn lit up as she quickly removed her pink device with the heart on it from her bag. “So you know how to make these things go?!” she asked, her voice raising an octave to match her excitement.

Button unglued his eyes from his screen just long enough to smile. “Yeah! There’s even a game we can play together on these things! My dad showed me!”

Sweetie Belle was next to Button with her own device opened in almost an instant! “Show me! Show me!” she cried excitedly.

Button turned his smiling face towards Sweetie Belle. “Oh you’re going to love this game! It’s a blast!”

-~Soon~-

Sweetie Belle shot a pensive look up at the sky. It had become dark much sooner than she expected, and she had already learned this bizarre world made out of cubes would show no mercy even to a newcomer such as herself.

“RRRRGGHGHGRRRRRGCCHCHH!”

Sweetie Belle jumped and turned with fear towards the source of the guttural growl. A filthy, pony with shaggy, discolored green fur shambled towards her.

Sweetie Belle let out a high pitched “Eek!” and galloped to Button.

“Uh… Button…?” Sweetie said in a frightful tone as she glanced at the slowly approaching pony. “There’s like zombies and skeletons and a bunch of scary things showing up.”

Button chuckled and pointed towards a small single story building made out of bricks “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you! Just run back to the hou—”

“RRRERRRRRERRRRERRR…!”

“Eep!” Sweetie Belle squeaked as she bolted in the direction Button pointed towards.

“—se.” Button finished as he watched Sweetie Belle run away.

“EHGHGHGHGH!”

Button turned and his ears flopped down around his head as he stood almost muzzle to muzzle with the green zombie pony.

“Zeykamiff…” he uttered to himself.

-~A little later~-

Sweetie Belle enthusiastically pointed towards a cave in the distance. “Hey Button, I kinda want to go mining in the Nether again.”

Button looked up with a nervous expression, the sky had begun to darken. “Er… Well… Okay… I just hope I don’t fall in lava this time.”

Sweetie Belle began to run off. “Well you should really be more careful of where you step!”

One of Button’s eyes twitched.

-~And later still...~-

“Ahh! Sweetie Belle! Can’t you sleep until its daytime?!” Button exclaimed as he hurriedly galloped after Sweetie Belle in the darkness.

“But it’s so boring to sleep, Button!” Sweetie Belle replied as the cave she was running towards grew larger and larger as the foals approached. “Come on it’ll be fine! I’ve barely died at all!”

“Sure, you haven’t,” Button grumbled.

“Oh, you worry too much!” Sweetie Belle said. “It’ll be fine, you’ll see.”

-~Just a few minutes later...~-

‘Hissssssss…’

Button only had time to turn and put on a face full of panic as the towering green creature in front of him turned into a loud mass of white and pain.

‘BOOM!’

“ZEYKAMIFF!” Button exclaimed loudly.

Sweetie Belle let out a sigh of relief. “Phew, logged off just in time!”

“GRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!” Button roared in frustration as he threw his forehooves straight up.

The sounds of hooves rapidly ascending stairs could be heard from outside Button’s room.

Sweetie Belle’s eyes widened and she leaned back from Button. “Whoa… What’s your problem?!”

“My problem?!” Button turned and shot Sweetie Belle a glare as if he was hoping he had suddenly develop the mutant power to melt her head with his eyes. “I’ve been eaten! Shot! Stabbed! Melted in lava, and I just got blown up and you want to know what my problem is?!”

The heavy sound of hooves suddenly reached a crescendo as Love Tap poked her head into the room. “Sweetie? What’s wrong?” she asked with concerned expression.

“A creeper blew me up!” Button exclaimed as he turned towards his mother.

“You really should disconnect when they show up,” Sweetie Belle said.

Button set his death glare to ‘disintegrate’. “I didn’t hit the keys in time, okay?!” he snapped.

Sweetie Belle matched Button’s nasty look. “It’s not my fault girls have faster reflexes than boys!”

“What?!” Button exclaimed. “That’s not true!”

“Yes it is!” Sweetie Belle shot back shrilly. “It’s science!”

“Kids! Kids!” Love Tap quickly interjected as she lowered herself slightly and inserted her head between the quarreling children. “Maybe you two should take a break from the game. You’ve been playing for hours and it’s still a nice day out.”

The two foals both took a calming breath and turned around and looked out the window behind them. Celestia had begun to lower the sun in the day’s sky, but it was still bright, offering plenty of daylight.

Button took one more calming breath as he closed his laptop. “Okay, mom.”

Sweetie Belle closed hers too. “I should really check in with the other girls, they’ve probably came up with a load of ideas they need me to help with,” she said as she returned the rectangular device to her white bag.

Love Tap smiled. “Okay dear, just stay safe.”

Sweetie Belle and Button both gave Love Tap a blank stare.

Love Tap sighed. “Just try not to end up in the hospital.”

Sweetie Belle nodded and slung her bag over her back. “I’ll do my best.” She turned to Button and gave him an unsure look. “Uh… Play with you later, Button?”

Button smiled back at Sweetie Belle. “Sure thing!”

Sweetie Belle smiled. Seemingly satisfied, she turned as a light green glow irradiated from her horn. The same glow enveloped that laptop and it floated after Sweetie Belle as she happily trotted away.

“Take care, Sweetie Belle!” Love Tap called out.

“Bye, Sweetie Belle!” Button said as he waved.

“Bye-bye!” Sweetie Belle called out.

Love Tap smiled as she watched Sweetie Belle leave then turned and gave Button a look of motherly concern. “Everything okay?”

Button got up off his chair and dropped to all fours as he smiled at Love Tap. “Sure, mom,” Button said with a nod. “Sweetie Belle is just a bit hard to keep up with sometimes.”

Love Tap’s eyes widened and then she smiled. “Maybe you should try talking to your father before going out.”

Button gave his mom a look of mild surprise. “Do you think he could help?”

Love Tap’s smile became a little warmer as she nodded. “Believe me, your father knows allll about what you’re going through.”

“Thanks mom! I’ll go talk to him right now!”

Button scampered out of his room, quickly descending the stairs into the homes downstairs hallway. Soon he was in the homes living room looking at a dark-brown earth pony stallion with a spiky black mane and a bushy mustache. The stallion sat on his haunches in front of a small round green table, a silver device, much like the one Button and Sweetie Belle were just using, rested on top of it, though this device sported a green computer chip emblem. The muffled sounds of an electric guitar rapidly firing off notes and chords drifted from someplace below.

“Dad?” Button called out.

The stallion lifted gentle amber eyes from his computer and smiled warmly at Button. “Yes, Button? How can I help you?”

“I kinda wanted to ask you something… about Sweetie Belle…”

Chip smiled. “Oh, you mean your cute little fillyfriend that was just here?”

Button’s cheeks turned a luminescent shade of red. “Well, we’re not… I mean we haven’t… er… uh…”

Chip chuckled. “Button, it’s fine to like someone.”

“Okay, but how do you know if they like you back?”

Chip chuckled once more and glanced towards the entrance of the houses spacious living room. Love Tap quietly stood just a little bit outside the room and gave Chip a smile and nod.

Chip turned back to his youngest son. “Well, I’m afraid you never know for sure unless you ask. Still, there are ways to tell if someone likes you. You spend a lot of time with Sweetie Belle, right?”

Button nodded his head up and down. “We see each other every day! And Sweetie Belle comes over to play video games with me all the time!”

“Heh. Oh?” Chip glanced towards the hallways again. “Sounds familiar actually.”

“I also hang out with her and her friends!” Button’s excitement dulled slightly as his lips fell into a more natural expression. “But sometimes they do things that aren’t exactly safe…” Button said, trailing off as the sounds of the electric guitar ceased.

Chip’s smile likewise dropped as he continued to stare into the hallway. “Sounds a little too familiar,”

Love Tap’s ears flopped down around her head as he gave her husband a slightly apologetic smile. The brief quiet made it possible to hear the sounds of hooves hitting wooden steps grow closer and closer.

Chip turned back to Button. “Still, I think you two deciding to spend lots of time with each other is a good sign.”

A door in the living room suddenly swung open revealing a smiling Gibson. “‘Sup, everypony!”

“Hi, Gibson!” Button greeted cheerfully.

Chip smiled at his eldest. “Hey, Gibson. Just having a little heart to heart.”

“We’re talking about Sweetie Belle!” Button informed in a chipper tone.

Gibson let out a slightly disappointed sigh. “Oh, you mean your little fillyfriend?”

“Well that’s the problem!” Button said. “I’m not sure if she’s my fillyfriend or not!”

“You should try playing the guitar for her!” Gibson suggested. “Bit—”

Chip cleared his throat and gave Gibson a stern look.

“IMEAN—Girls love guitars.”

“Hey! Yeah!” Button said.

Chip raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Remember when Button tried to help your band?”

Gibson’s eyes widened as his ears flopped down around his head and he started off as if he was looking into an infinite expanse of space. “Oh right… I had to get a new amp… Crash and Wave refused to practice here for weeks.”

Chip nodded solemnly. “Well it took that long to repair the damage to the basement anyhow…”

“So… no guitar?” Button asked.

“No!” Chip and Gibson said forcefully.

Button said. “Awww…” Button uttered in disappointment.

Chip smiled at his son once more. “Look, Button. I think all you have to do is be yourself, and you’ll be fine.”

Button’s eyes lit up. “Really?!”

Gibson pushed air past his lips causing them to flap up and down. “Pbpbpbpbpbffft…Yeah that’ll work.”

Chip raised an eyebrow at his son. “How many girlfriends have you had, champ?”

Gibson narrowed his eyes at his father and frowned heavily. “I’m just going to go back to practicing my guitar now…”

Chip nodded. “You do that.”

Gibson began close the door. “Lousy little bro gets more girls than me…” he grumpily grumbled to himself as the basement door shut.

Button watched Gibson leave then turned back towards his father. “So if I just be myself, Sweetie Belle will like me?!” Button asked excitedly.

“Well, being yourself doesn’t necessarily mean someone will like you, but I think in the case of your little friend, you don’t have anything to worry about.”

Button frowned. “Are you sure? What if I tell Sweetie Belle I like her and she doesn’t like me back?!”

“That’s a possibility,” Chip said. “I wish I could tell you exactly what to do, but… Well… this is sort of your own personal quest. You must do what you think is right.”

“My own quest?” Button gasped. “You mean I’m the hero?!”

Chip chuckled. “Of course you are Button.” His smile softened as a small amount of seriousness entered his face. “But don’t be too discouraged if she just wants to be friends. You have plenty of time to find your special somepony.”

Button smiled wide. “Thanks, Dad! I’m going to go get a toy and play outside now!”

Chip nodded. “Sure, Button.”

Button quickly scampered out of the room past his mom. “Mom! Have you seen my train?!”

Love Tap raised her forehooves up to her mouth. “Button, sweetie? It’s in the—”

“Aaaah!”

‘Crash!’

Love Tap and Chip both cringed as their ears flopped down around their heads. The sound of their youngest falling and crashing into something was familiar to both parents, and they knew it could only go one of two ways.

“Found it!” Button replied cheerfully.

Love Tap chuckled to herself and shook her head as she trotted up to Chip.

Chip smiled and closed his computer as his wife approached. Love Tap wasted no time and nuzzling her husband. “You’re so good with him.”

Chip chuckled as he returned the affection. “Well, it’s all about learning to explain things to Button in a way he’ll understand.” He pulled back likely and gave his wife a serious look. “You do think this little filly likes Button, right?”

Love Tap gave out an almost silent chuckle that caused her chest to rise and fall rapidly. “Of course!” she returned to nuzzling Chip. “Those two remind me of two other little foals who used to spend all their time with each other years ago.”

Chip’s eyes went wide as his smile cratered into a frown with practically enough force to throw enough dust and debris into the air to blot out even Celestia’s mighty sun.

“That’s actually much more worrisome…”

-ooooo-

“Discord!” Fluttershy called out in an unusually forceful tone. “You stop that picnic basket from running around and licking other ponies this instance!”

Discord sighed as he watched a wicker picnic basket which had sprouted stubby legs bark at a light yellow earth pony mare and a teal unicorn mare. The two ponies ran off, screaming as they put some distance between the unusually animated basket.

Discord snapped his eagle talon and the basket disappeared in a flash.

Fluttershy looked up and gave the Draconequus a disapproving look. “Can’t we just have a nice, relaxing picnic that doesn’t involve scaring ponies or covering them with gloppy, purple goo?”

Discord turned from Fluttershy and crossed his arms across his chest. “If you’re referring to Jamscapades day, I was merely trying to get the ponies of this town into the mood of the holiday.”

“Discord, you made up Jamscapades day!” Fluttershy said. “And everypony was washing out jam and jelly out of their coats and manes for days afterwards!”

Discord turned and pointed a lion’s claw at Fluttershy. “Okay, but no pony had any trouble finding something to put on their bread during that time.”

Fluttershy let out an exasperated sigh.

“Fluttershy!”

Discord and Fluttershy turned as Applejack rapidly galloped up to their position.

“Jus’ the pony I wanted to see!” Applejack said as she quickly slowed her pace and slid to a halt in front of Fluttershy.

“What is it Applejack?” Fluttershy asked. “Do you need me for something?”

In a flash of light, Discord was suddenly wearing a long brown coat, a red bandana, a brown vest over a light blue shirt, jeans that went all the way down to his cloven foot and dragon’s claw held up by a brown belt with a massive star belt buckle, and a hat that matched Applejack’s.

Discord tipped his cowboy hat. “Well howdeee, Applejack! Trouble at the ol’ farm? Granny hittin’ the cider too hard again?! Boy I tell ya what!” Discord slapped a knee with his lion’s paw. “That old mare is crazier than a goat and a pig bein’ taped together and joined at a shotgun weddin!”

Applejack turned to scowl at Discord. “Discord,” she greeted icily. She turned towards Fluttershy. “There’s trouble at the ol’ far—Ah mean, there’s trouble at the farm!”

“Oh my!” Fluttershy responded. “What kind of trouble?”

Applejack sighed. “Mad mouse uprising.”

Fluttershy turned towards Discord a narrowed her eyes. “Oh really?”

Discord’s clothes were gone in a flash, replaced by white robes and a golden, shimmering halo that hovered just above his head. “Well, don’t look at me ladies! I just got here! Honestly, with you all living right next to the Everfree forest, I’m surprised this sort of stuff doesn’t happen once a week.”

Applejack sighed. “It pretty much does.”

Fluttershy smiled warmly at Applejack. “Don’t worry, I’m sure a little talk with the mice will settle this matter right away.”

Discord chuckled. “Of course it will! Whoever heard of a big talk with a mouse?”

The girls turned towards Discord then back to each other.

“Well anyways…” Applejack began.

Discord put on a sullen look and crossed his arms across his chest. “Oh come on! That was gold and you both know it!” He said as his robes burst into flames and his halo fell, getting caught on his twisted horn.

“Well anyways,” Applejack said with more force, “we better get a move on before the mice conquer the gazebo.”

Fluttershy nodded. “You go on ahead.” She subtly tilted her head towards Discord. “I’ll be right there.”

Applejack gave Fluttershy an understanding nod. “I gotcha, pardner,” she said before she turned and began to canter back towards Sweet Apple Acres.

His robe now completely incinerated into nothingness, Discord removed his halo and examined it for a second. He shrugged and casually tossed it behind him, this was accompanied by the sound of a window breaking. He smiled. “So we’re off to see the farm, hmmm?” He rubbed his lion’s paw and eagle talon together. “Sample some of the Apple family’s fine baked goods? Drink some cider?”

Fluttershy gave Discord a worried smile. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Granny Smith wasn’t too happy to see you last time you were there.”

Discord stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Hmmm… True, the old mare did throw quite a few things at me. I’m amazed at her age she could still lift a rocking chair, or that end table…”

“Uh… Discord?”

“…The picture she threw was nice! Too bad the frame broke when it hit my head.”

“Discord!”

Discord waggled his eagle talon a bit. “Not to mention I turned the frame into a wooden snake that spit pear juice on everypony… Applejack was not happy about that!”

“Discord!”

Discord chuckled. “I still have the kitchen sink mounted over my fireplace.”

“DISCORD!”

Discord lowered himself to Fluttershy’s level and smiled. “Oh yes, Fluttershy, my dearest friend?”

Fluttershy gave Discord a serious look. “I really need to get going, but I want you to be on your best behavior while I’m gone!”

“Oh, pish posh!” Discord replied as he waved his eagle talon about dismissively. “What kind of trouble maker do you take me for?”

Fluttershy wordlessly answered Discord by tilting her head, frowning slightly, and dropping her eyelids.

Discord gave a nervous chuckle as he raised to his full height and tapped his eagle claw tips and lion claws together.

“I mean it!” Fluttershy said forcefully. “No messing with my friends! And no getting into trouble with the Cutie Mark Crusaders again!”

Discord frowned. “But they made me a member!” he protested as a red cape with the CMCs emblem appeared on his back. He smiled wide, wide enough that he wasn’t able to completely hide the wickedness in his grin. “And those three are so much fun to hang out with!”

“We can visit them together,” Fluttershy insisted. “For now I just want you to promise you won’t mess with anypony while I’m away.”

Discord sighed, and lowered himself into a near perfect arc as his smile dropped to a frown and his cape disappeared. “Very well, Fluttershy.” He suddenly stood straight up at attention as a green military dress uniform appeared on his body. He saluted smartly with his lion’s paw as he placed his eagle talon behind his back. “I promise I won’t mess with anypony while you’re away.”

Fluttershy breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s all I ask for.” Fluttershy took a weary glance in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres. “I better get going now. Goodbye, Discord!”

Discord smiled. “Take care, Fluttershy!” Discord said with a wave of his eagle claw as Fluttershy began to trot away.

Discord’s smile grew wider, and wider, and wider still until it looked less of a smile and more like a small crescent moon with a single fang hanging over it. Once Fluttershy was far down the way he took his eagle talon out from behind his back and held it in front of him. Two of the claws were crossed neatly with each other.

“Oops,” Discord said darkly. Discord threw his head back and his arms up into his air as he laughed maniacally. “HehehehehahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Just as soon as the laughter had begun, Discord leaned his head back and steepled his animal digits against each other. His eyes looked to the left and then to the right as a curly mustache grew from below his nose and his military outfit transformed into a black cape and wide brimmed black hat.

Discord curled one end of his brand new mustache with his lion’s paw. “Now to find somepony to… hehehe… play with.”

“Choo-Choo!”

Discord’s ear perked up as his mustache, cape, and hat disappeared in a white flash. He dropped to the ground and slithered to a nearby bush, peering out at the source of the voice he had just head.

“Choo! Choo!”

Discord smiled devilishly as he spied the young brown colt in the propeller hat. “If only you knew the fun you were about to have, young one…”

“Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga!”

Discord’s smile went supernova, destroying an entire star system of planets. “… It’ll be enough to turn your mane white…”

Jump to top

Chapter 21: A Not so Useful Engine

The SweetieMash Chronicles

Chapter 21: A Not so Useful Engine

“Choo choo!” Button Mash exclaimed as he excitedly rolled his toy train back and forth in the center of a Ponyville path. “Chugachugachugachuga…” He quickly pulled back on the train with a forehoof then sent it forward with all his might. “CHOO!”

The train traveled some distance down the path…

‘PHWOOOSH!’

… then burst into flames.

Button’s ears dropped and his eyelids retreated upwards as his pupils retreated inwards. He stared at the, now for some reason, flaming toy train for a moment, blinked then gave it a perplexed and worried glance. “I... u-uh... um... A-alright,” he uttered as if resigning himself to this world where toy trains sometimes just catch fire. Did I… Did I push it too hard?

“Hey.”

Button’s ears perked up as he thought he heard something, like a soft beckoning whisper off in the nearby bushes.

“Comehere.”

Button trotted over to the bushes, noticing a bright glint as he did. He parted some branches from the bush, revealing a golden item hidden amongst the leaves.

Button peered at the item with a quizzical expression. “Did… did somepony drop their fancy gravy boat?”

The whispering voice suddenly took a harsher tone. “I’tsalamp,stupid!”

Button jumped back slightly at the irritated tone, but continued to keep his eyes glued to the item in front of him.

“Touchthelamp… Touchthelamptouchthelamp…”

Button edged ever closer to the golden item and reached his hoof out. “I feel like maybe I should touch that…” His hoof slowly edged closer and closer to the item that seemed to beckon him to make contact with it.

“It'sso...interesting. Touchthelamp. It'ssointeresting. TouchthelampTouchthelamp.”

Button’s hoof finally made contact with the metal lamp with a soft ‘tink’.

“…”

Nothing happened.

“Is it… Is it broken?”

“Rubthelamp! Geez,It’slikeyoudon’tknowanything!”

Button reached forward and scooped the lamp into his forelegs. He rubbed the side of it rapidly.

‘POOF! SNAP! CRACKLE! POP!’

“Ahh!” Button cried out in alarm and dropped the lamp as a shimmering brown mist shot out of the end of the lamp. The mist swirled upward high above Button, sparkling as sparks shot out in all directions. The mist began to take form, sprouting arms and a head as the rest condensed into a well-toned torso. One of the arms turned yellow as the end of it changed into an eagle’s talon, the other beige as the end transformed into a lion’s paw. The head changed from an ill-defined oblong shape to something closer to an upside-down brown bowling pin as a muzzle formed. Lastly, a pair of pony ears sported from the sides as a goat horn and an antler shot out from the top.

Below large fuzzy white eyebrows, eyelids opened yellow eyes with red pupils which seemed to regard the young colt sinisterly. A fang shout of the ‘mist creatures’ mouth. A mouth which suddenly opened wide into a mad grin as a tuft of white fur shot out from the creature's chin, accompanied by more white fur that appeared to crawl up the being’s face, stopping its journey just under the ears and forming sideburns.

Button swallowed. “… Mommy…?” he said in a hushed, scared tone as if simply saying the word would summon his protective mother.

“Con-grad-you-lations!” Discord bellowed. “After passing our rigorous selection process of being the closest pony who also happened to find and rub the lamp,you’re the latest contestant on ‘The Wish is Right!’”

“Uh…”

The hair that formed Discord’s sideburns suddenly crawled upwards again. This time to the top of his head, becoming white hair behind Discord’s horn and antler. A long, thin black rod suddenly shot up from Discord’s eagle’s claw up towards his mouth. The rod sprouted a black foam top becoming a microphone which Discord began to speak into. “Well my young contestant! Everything and anything you’ve ever wanted can be yours if you can answer three simple questions.”

“Er… okay?” Button answered.

Discord’s receding hair and beard suddenly exploded out in all directions becoming long and scraggly. “Whatis your name?”

“Ma… My name is Button Mash!”

“What is your favorite color?”

“… Blue?”

“Congratulations! You’ve won!”

Button blinked a couple times. “But… but that was only two questions.”

Most of Discord’s hair suddenly flew off in one big mass, flying off into Ponyville where a distant feminine scream of “Ahhhh! Get it off me! Get it off me!” could be heard.

“Wow, you are a sharp one!” Discord said with a crescent grin, his usually tuft of a beard hanging from his chin. “You even caught the secret bonus question! Now let’s hear it! What do you desire, my little pony? Fame? Adoration? A never ending bag of turnips? Hrmmm? Out with it!”

“I… what?” Button asked simply.

Discord sighed and slumped his shoulders. He dragged his lion’s paw down his long face, stretching it slightly before it snapped back into place. “I’m a genie! Rubbing the lamp means you get three wishes!” Discord said as he held up three of his lion claws. He grinned wickedly. “Now don’t hold back! The sky’s the limit! Wealth! Power! Everything and anything you want is yours for the taking!”

Button's eyes went wide as Discord’s grin grew ever wider. No doubt the young colt’s mind was a flurry of wishes, any one of which would upset the boring peace these equally boring ponies fought so hard to maintain.

Button opened his mouth, and Discord felt his heart beat faster in his new body. Yes boy, make a wish! Say your wish and watch your world fallinto utter chaos!

“In that case, can I have a toy train that doesn’t randomly burst into flames when I play with it?”

The left side of Discord’s mouth began to twitch as he leveled an annoyed glance at Button. “In hindsight, I suppose I should have seen that coming…” Discord smiled widely. “Look, wouldn’t you rather have your own real train?” In flash a striped conductor’s hat appeared over Discord’s head as did a cord that dangled above him from thin air. “Feeling the heat of the coals and the wind in your face as you speed down the tracks of Equestria with reckless abandon?” Discord pulled the cord causing a large train whistle to appear on the top of his goat horn.

‘CHOO! CHOO!’

Button frowned. “But… I get motions sickness riding on trains!”

The conductor’s hat and whistle disappeared in a puff of white smoke. Discord’s brow pulled forward until his forehead resembled the creased mass of a dog with many folds in its skin. In a flash, a clothing iron appeared in his lion paw and he slammed it against his forehead. Steam fired out from the iron as he smoothed out the creases. He lowered the iron and shoot Button a look of irritation. “Kid, you’re killing me here! Please come up with something more ambitious than ‘regular toy train’!”

“But I don’t want a regular toy train!” Button cried. “I want one that doesn’t burst into flames randomly!” Button glanced upwards and tapped a forehoof against his chin a few times. “Actually, I thought regular toy trains didn’t burst into flames like that, so I guess I do want a regular toy train!”

“You can have anything you want! Think bigger!”

“Fine! I want an erm…blue…usefultoy train… that… uh… that talks!”

Discord sighed. “I suppose it’ll have to do…” With a snap of his claws, a baby-blue locomotive appeared with a black chimney sticking up just behind and above its smiling gray face.

“Hello! I’m Tanky, the train engine!” the large toy train greeted.

“Hi, Tanky!” Button greeted cheerfully. “My name is Button Mash!”

“Why you must be my new conductor!” Tanky surmised. “How can I be very useful to you today?”

Discord sighed heavily. “I knew I should have given the train an evil death claw, or something…” he muttered to himself.

“Well… What can you do?” Button asked Tanky.

“Oh my, what I can’t I do? I can do lots of thing! I can load things! I can unload things! I’m very good at carrying things from one point to another… so long as there are train tracks between those two points.”

Button frowned and looked about. “Huh… Well… I don’t know of anything I really need moved around…”

“That’s just as well,” Tanky said, “I’m afraid I won’t be doing much moving in my current state.”

Discord chuckled and stretched his body out to the point where he could easily whisper into Button’s ear. He used his eagle talon to muffle the sound. “He certainly has a one track mind, doesn’t he?”

Much to Discord’s chagrin, Button merely looked at Tanky with a thoughtful expression. “Yeah… Hey! I know! I wish there were tracks so—”

Discord narrowed his eyes. “Do not just wish for tracks for the stupid talking train to travel on! Can’t you think of something a tad more ambitious than—bleh— ‘toy train’ or more useless wishes wasted on helping the stupid toy train?!”

“But Tanky is stuck until we find him some train tracks!” Button cried. “I really think we should help him!”

“Oh yes, please!” Tanky exclaimed. With a worried gaze, Tanky glanced to the left and then to the right. “If I don’t do anything useful, Sir Tophatt Ham will have me bricked up for always, and always, and always! That’s how he punishes trains that aren’t useful.”

“Huh… dark…” Discord surmised. He turned to Button. “But certainly you have something you want more than helping a sentient toy train that has only existed for a minute!”

“It’s okay, Sir Button Mash,” Tanky said in a forlorn tone. “I knew this day would come… The diesel engines were always going to make me and all my friends obsolete someday…”

“Wow, that’s really sad!” Button said.

Discord let out an irritated groan and glared at the train. “Look, just shut up! You’re sucking out all the joy of messing with the fundamental laws of existence!” He once again turned to Button. “You! Think of whatever you want more than anything!”

Button put on a thoughtful expression. “Well… There is one thing I could really use help with…”

Discord suddenly grinned widely as he lowered his face down towards Button’s in anticipation. “Yes? Dominion over your enemies? Ruler of Equestria? Making the entire city of Ponyville edible?! What is it?!”

“Maybe I can help!” Tanky interjected. “I’m a very useful engine… so long as there are train tracks at or nearby wherever I need to be useful.”

Discord stood up straight and grit his teeth. “Oh that is it!” With a snap of his eagle talon flames sprung up into life around the talking toy train.

“Ahhh! Why?!” Tanky shouted.

“Tanky, no!” Button cried.

“It’s okay, Button!” Tanky said in a sad tone as if accepting his fate. “I’m powered by highly flammable substances… I always knew I’d go out like this.”

“We can get help!” Button cried.

“I’m sorry, Button…” Tanky said as the flames seemed to grab hold of Tanky, turning him from blue to black as they danced about him. “This is the end of the track for me… literally since there is no track.”

Discord rolled his eyes. “See, carrying on like that is exactly why you got set on fire in the first place!”

“Cough… Sir Button Mash, always remember to believe in yourself!”

“I will, Tanky!” Button assured tearfully.

Tanky continued, “Cough…choke… Good… If you… hackchchc… If you do that, you can do anything… so long as there are train tra—”

Discord shot the train a look full of frustration and rage. “Oh, would you just expire already?!”

“Tell the diesel trains… hrckchch… tell them that I always hated them and considered them…coughchchgh…. considered them a lower class of train!” Tanky choked out as the flames consumed him. “And tell Sir Tophatt Ham that I hope… couaaaaaachcher… I hope his coat gets caught in some train’s wheels the fat lard gets dragged several miles before… augghghaaaaugh… finally kicking the bucket!”

The flames climbed higher and higher as Tanky’s body began to crumble, soon Tanky was no mo—

“Haaaaackchchcckckchc…”

… And soon Tanky was—

“… AAAAAACHCHCHAAAGRRRRRRAAAAAAA…!”

…

“…”

…ANDSOONTANKY—!

“… GURRRRRGGGGGGLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAGHGHGHGH…!”

Discord shot the rather loud burning remains of Tanky a look that could explode toy trains, which would turn out to be rather fitting. Suddenly a bright yellow visor with a straight horizontal red lens appeared over Discord’s eyes. He touched the side of the visor, causing red beam of light shot out and into the flames. The already smoldering train was reduced to little more than a burnt crater in the path.

Button fell his heart sting deep inside his chest and a fountain of hot tears stream down his cheeks. He threw his head back as the emotions began to overwhelm him. “Hhehhh… hhehhh…WOUAAAAAAHOUAAAAAHOUAAAAA! MOOOOOOOM!”

“Oh, calm down!” Discord cried. “You only knew the dumb toy for two minutes!”

Discord’s words immediately put the brakes on Button’s crying. “Oh… right…” he said as he tilted his head back down. Button suddenly looked up at Discord with an indignant expression. “Hey! I wished for a toy train wouldn’t burst into flames!”

“You said ‘randomly’ burst into flames!” Discord shot back. He folded his arms across his chest “That was a deliberate and malicious act by me to put the train out of my misery!”

“But that’s not fair!” Button cried.

Discord sighed. “Look, I’ll give you your wish back, happy?”

“Oh!” Button said. “Then can I wish for Tanky to come back to—”

“NEVER!” Discord cried. “Look! You must want something else besides a stupid toy train! What was that other thing you were having trouble with? I’m sure that is infinitely more interesting than that despairingly not loco locomotive!”

Button’s cheeks turned a slight shade of pink and he dug at the hard ground with a hoof. “Well… It’s kinda embarrassing now that I think about it…”

“Oh, pish posh!” Discord said with a dismissive wave of his eagle’s talon. “Fluttershy written scores of pages in that diary she thinks no one knows about regarding wanting to be a tree!” Discord pulled a disgusted face. “She basically has chapters detailing watching animals do all the sordid things animals do out in the wild! Now that’s embarrassing!” Discord frowned. Discord leveled a stern look at Button and an equally stern lion claw. “But you didn’t hear that from me!”

“Well… okay…” Button said. “See, there’s this girl I like…”

Discord’s eyes widened and his ears perked up slightly. “A girl? Why that is rather interesting…”

“Yeah, but I don’t know if she likes me back!” Button exclaimed.

Discord’s grin returned with a vengeance. “I seeeee…” he purred. “Well, who is the lucky little filly or perhaps even fully grown mare?” He asked as his lips parted wide.

“… Sweetie Belle…”

Discord’s grin remained as his eyes widened in surprise for just a moment. “Ah! So you have a crush on the adorable little songstress Sweetie Belle, eh?”

Button nodded.

Discord suddenly slithered through the air, landing next to Button and lowering himself to look the young colt eye to eye. He placed his eagle talon around Buttons neck as a white lab coat suddenly appeared on Discord’s body accompanied by a stethoscope dangled from his neck. “Fear not, my young lovestruck friend! Discord the Love Doctor is here to make all your dreams come true!”

“I thought you were a genie?” Button said.

Discord gave Button a vexed look. “I’ve lived for a long, long time! I can be more than one thing!” Discord’s dangerous-looking grin was back in an instant as he raised to his full height. Prepare yourself Ponyville, you’re going to see a whirlwind romance the likes of which you’ve never encountered before! And little, innocent Sweetie Belle… You can’t even fathom the chaos that awaits you…”

Discord threw back his head as he let loose a maniacal laugh.“MuhahahahahaaHAHAHAHAHAHA—”

-o-Meanwhile-o-

Sweetie Belle peered carefully at a long scroll in front of her. Holding it with one hoof as she lowered the other one down the scroll. Her hoof stopped and she smiled slightly as she read an item. “Cutie Mark Crusaders match makers?”

Sitting nearby Sweetie in the clubhouse, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo briefly considered Sweetie Belle’s suggestion.

Apple Bloom spoke up, “Mah brother was pretty mad after the whole love potion thing…”

Scootaloo nodded. “Yeah! A few more screw ups like that and Twilight might start thinking twice about just handing us books with powerful potion recipes on them!”

Sweetie Belle peered at the scroll again. “Cutie Mark Crusaders lion tamers?”

Apple Bloom shook her head. “Mah sister went let me borrow her whip after we tried being Cutie Mark Crusader archeologist!”

Scootaloo chimed in, “Plus the lion still has a restraining order against us!”

Sweetie Belle pursed her lips and stared at the list intently. She moved her hoof downwards again. “Cutie Mark Crusaders taco cart operators?”

Apple Bloom put on a gloomy expression. “No one liked our apple and baked bean tacos!”

Scootaloo nodded. “Also we became the first food establishment in Equestrian history to be shut down because of food poisoning and health code violations made just because of us!”

Sweetie Belle looked at the scroll again and sighed. “Cutie Mark Crusaders baby deliverers?”

Apple Bloom frowned. “Doesn’t mean delivering babies door to door…”

Scootaloo pupils suddenly shrank as she stared off into a point far, far beyond the wall in front of her. “Plus we’re banned from the labor and delivery wing of the hospital… Which is sort of a mixed blessing when you think about it…”

-ooo-

“—HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA—”

“HehehehehahahaHAHA—”

Discord glared down at Button who had decided to join him in his laughing session. “No! Stop it!” He commanded as he pointed a lion claw at Button. “You’re ruining my moment here!”

Button frowned. “Sorry. I’ll be quiet. You can go again.

Discord slumped his shoulders and began to trudge off down the Ponyville street. “Nope, moments past…” He sighed heavily. “Let’s just find Sweetie Belle.”

Button’s face lit up and he scampered after Discord. “Oh! I can help! I learned that keeping an ear out for ponies screaming then running the opposite direction they’re running usually works!”

Jump to top

Chapter 22: Fast Times at Discord High