Princess of what?

by youdont12know

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Princess Luna, Comedy, Princess Celestia
Length: 1364

Twilight and Ballsworth have a disagreement

Twilight and Ballsworth have a disagreement about a taxicab.

Published 2014-01-07 20:10:09 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-07 20:10:09 UTC

Princess of what

“Please won’t you let her have this taxi? She has somewhere very important to be right away!” Pleaded Twilight Sparkle to the light brown gentlecolt in front of the line.

“Not likely, she can get in line like the rest of us.”, sounded the reply, immediatly followed by the murmurs of the entire line.

“I’m sorry, but maybe you don’t recognize me. My name is Twilight Sparkle, and it is important to me that my dear friend is on time for her appointment.”

At that, the crowd grew silent. Had that mare actually talked back to a suit? She couldn’t even afford rags to keep herself warm, so she was either the poorest of the poor, of from out of town. And since she didn’t know proper Manehattenite respect, it would be the latter. Which meant she was about to get taught.

“Your FRIEND? Oh, I’m sorry ‘twilight sparkie’ or whatever you just said, but I happen be Ballsworth Hoofluck, CEO of Hoofluck Pottery Incorperated, and quite frankly, just because she happens to be friends with some good for nothing unimportant egotistical unicorn that can’t shut up and get into line doesn’t mean that she can skip the entire damn thing!

Twilight started flapping her wings, and seethed: “Sorry, I believe I misheard you. I thought you said unicorn. Maybe you didn’t hear me the first time, but I AM TWILIGHT SPARKLE, PRINCESS OF EQUESTRIA AND MASTER OF ALL ARCANE MAGICKS EVER INVENTED BY PONYKIND. I HEREBY REQUEST YOU STEP ASIDE.” yelled Twilight, in full royal canterlot voice.

“Pfha, master of all magic? If that’s the case, why don’t you simply teleport your ‘dear friend’ to her destination?’

“I.. uhm. Good point” stammered Twilight, as she zapped her friend to the fashion hall “But that doesn’t excuse your negligence in following royal orders, nor your apparent inability to recognize a FLAPPING ALICORN IN YOUR FACE!”

“Well maybe if Celestia’d stop inviting new royals to come to her castle every four dancin months, I’d take care to keep up with them all.” threw the stallion back. “I mean, first her ancient sister come to rule over the night, while we’re supposed to expect that childrens stories are suddenly real? And then said sister doesn’t appear in public again for months? Fine. I can live with that. But then a magical flicking empire appears out of nothing, and it’s new ruler is some alicorn who was apparently always around but never bothered to show herself until then, except for the one time she got married and canterlot got invaded by skinshifting bugs? Unbelievable, but I can see the want for privacy. Then the freaking quadruple savior of equestria, Spotlight Speck, personal student of the Celestia herself appears and I’m not even paying attention anymore. And now some unknown fifth appears and I’m supposed to care?”

“Unknown fifth? SPOTLIGHT SPECK? MY NAME IS TWILIGHT SPARKLE, AND I FREED PRINCESS LUNA, GUARDIAN OF THE NIGHT AND PROTECTOR OF DREAMS FROM THE NIGHTMARE. I TURNED DISCORD TO STONE AND THE WORLD TO ORDER. I FOUGHT THE CHANGELINGS AND RECLAIMED THE CRYSTAL HEART FROM SOMBRA. I ALSO REDISCOVERED THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY, AND TAMED THE EVERFREE FOREST. “

“Now Twilight, we all helped do those things” interjected Applejack, but Twilight continued her tirade

“PRINCESS CELESTIA HAS BEEN PERSONALLY GROOMING ME FOR THIS TASK EVER SINCE SHE SAW MY UNKEMPT POTENTIAL. THAT HAPPENED WHEN I WAS CELESTIACURSED FIVE YEARS OLD AT THE ACADEMY FOR THE GREATEST UNICORNS ALIVE. WHICH I GRADUATED FROM WITH GRADES THAT HAD NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE AND HAVE NOT BEEN REPEATED SINCE. I NEARLY OVERPOWERED THE ALiCORN AMULET, I TAMED AN URSA MINOR, I HAVE A POTENTIAL FOR CAUSING CHAOS AND TERROR THAT WOULD HUMBLE DISCORD, YET MY ORGANIZATIONAL ABILITIES ARE SUCH THAT THE GREAT DEWEY WOULD BOW BEFORE ME.”

“Twilight? Maybe you should calm down a bit.” suggested Fluttershy, but twilight payed her no mind.

“I HAVE CAST SPELLS THAT ELUDED STARSWIRL THE BEARDED HIMSELF, RAISED A DRAGON FROM THE EGG, MADE THE GATEKEEPER OF HELL ITSELF PLAY FETCH, GRAFTED WINGS ONTO A UNICORN SO AMAZING THEY NEARLY BLINDED THE ENTIRETY OF CLOUDSDALE AND MADE THE SWEETEST POY YOU’LL EVER MEET INTO A MONSTER OF THE NIGHT WORTHY OF BEING THE STEED OF THE NIGHTMARE HERSELF. I HAVE TRAVERSED COLD, HEAT, JUNGLE, SKY, FICTION, SEVERAL PLANES AND THE TUNNELS OF THE DIAMOND DOGS. I CHARGED AT TERRORS THAT GIVE FILLIES NIGHTMARES AND REPAIRED STRUCTURES THAT TOOK YEARS TO ERECT IN MERE SECONDS. I KNOW SPELLS OF RESTORATION, DESTRUCTION, CHAOS, LAW, PURE LOVE, INFERNAL MALICE, EVERY ELEMENT UNDER THE SUN AND THEN SEVERAL MORE, TELEPORTATION AND INFORMATION.”

“I, uhm. I’m s-sorry p-princess, but-t I do need to g-get going.” stuttered Ballsworth.

“I DESERVE RECOGNITION FOR THIS. YOU ARE NOT LEAVING UNTIL I SAY SO. ASK PERMISSION TO LEAVE PROPERLY.”

“A-ah, yes o-of course. May I please leave, exalted Twilight Sparkle, Princess of…”

“...”
“...”

“... Yes?” Asked Twilight.

“Forgive me my ignorance, but what are you exactly princess of?”

“Equestria, of course.” Replied Twilight.

“W-well yes, but every Alicorn has that title. Celestia rules the day, Luna the nights. Even the pink one”

“Cadence”

“Cadence, yes. She rules the northern empire as I understand. Simply put, what do you rule? The time between sunset and moonrise?”

Twilight had to think. She had never actually thought about that, and now that she did, the question bothered her. Did the royal sisters actually care about her so little that they would let such a big oversight happen?

In Canterlot, Celestia had just sat down for her lunch of the day, a daisy and sunflower sandwich prepared by the royal chef, Clover Wheat, when she felt a sense of foreboding she hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Oh smackdabbit not again.” muttered the ruler of these lands under her breath, while she ran towards Luna’s chambers in the northern tower. She knocked on the door as loud as she could for two to three minutes before she heard a reply.

“Will you PLEASE quiet down? It’s half past noon and I was having the most wonderful dream about-”

“There’s no time for that, dear sister. I believe something is amiss. I can feel it in my earlobes.”

“Do we even HAVE earlobes, ‘lestia?” wondered Luna, still half asleep.

“This is no time to ponder anatomical mistakes, I fear something terrible is about to happen if we don’t act fast.”

Luna, finally opening the dear, said: “Fine, what way lies this danger?”

“My big toe says Manehatten.”
“Sister, I know for a FACT we don’t have toes.”

“I said there is no need for equine anatomical discussions at this hour, we must take off!”

And they did.

“I’m not the princess of a time, nor of a place. Am I princess of magic? No, Luna probably has atleast at much experience as me. Of friendship itself? That’s a stupid title to bear alone. I’m… I’m just a princess of nothing. A fake alicorn, ascending only for the sake of… Of…”

“Who CARES why you’re an alicorn? You’re our friend, and that’s all that matters.” said Applejack, trying to console her friend.e wings, you can do all SORTS

“Besides, Now that you have wings, you can prodo all SORTS of fun things!" suggested Pinkie

But twilight wasn't listening. She wasn't princess of ANYTHING. And if she wasn't princess of anything, she had to be a princess of nothing. But Celestia wouldn't get the last laugh. Not after toying with her ENTIRE LIFE.

The crowd that had formed stepped back when Twilight's eyes shone green with a purple glow. It didn't matter, because Protrusions of pure darkness appeared from nowhere, lashing indiscrinimately. Soon all of Manehatten was being erased by these tentacles of void. Then the royal sisters arrived.

"Still less damage then when I tried to raise a dragonequus." Luna snarked

Author's Note

Finished with a minute to spare, go me.

And of course Gdocs has a different standard of bolding and italizing then fimfiction and I have to immediatly reedit the thing.

EDIT: I just figured out how to press submit, go me!