Welcome to Equestria, dood.by Fusion Fool the 3rdChaptersThe Netherworld, dood.Equestria, dood.Introductions and Rules, doodWhat Fourth Wall, dood? Plus We got Apples.Prinny Recall, Dood, Author needs to get shot for the OC though.Want It, Need It, DoodParties, and awkward birds and bees, dood.Wrong Crossover and new Spells, Dood.Darkness and a Ass Kicking, dood.Gigavolt and the Blank Village, dood.Gem-Fusions and Kamikaze, dood.So, About That Book, Dood...Prinny Short, The Fall of King Sombra the first time, dood.Justice vs. Corruption, dood,Bring a bucket for this one, dood.Chores, and Needless explainations, dood.The Netherworld, dood.As much as i dislike self-inserts, and OC pony stuff. I always wanted to to see Equestria myself as a prinny, we of course are the eternal victims, so it's high time we got some repentance, WE SHALL WORK OFF OUR SINS IN EQUESTRIA, DOOD! ~dood~[/hr] Over the course of 2 years, dood. We prinnies have finally managed to earn enough money to bribe the Dimension Guide to let us to Equestria. All the thefts, ass-kissing, and chores we have done has come to this, dood. Our funds are limited thought, dood, as we only had enough for 5 prinnies. There was Mr. Kamikaze, your standard blue prinny, but he had a warning label stitched into the back of his body to let other demons know he was prone to self-sacrifice, dood. We all think he's a masochist, and he refused to believe it, until his ninth death where he got up and told us he loved pain, and wanted to marry the feeling. The next prinny is called Master Cupcake dood, he was just called that cause the demons were hungry for cupcakes at the time and made him bake a batch. He is a Yellow Prinny, dood. He was a cook in Etna's little army of prinny slaves, but he escaped to Hades cause Valvatorez is a lot better than her, dood. Next up is Golden Shower, dood, it's now how you think, dood. He didn't get his name THAT way. But he is a brown prinny, and is subject to MANY jokes due to his name and appearance, dood. Poor guy always tried to ask the prinny instructors to let him change his name or get a new prinny suit, but they were laughing too hard to care. We also got Super Pal, a purple prinny with a party hat; he likes to party, sometimes too hard. We always find him passed out somewhere, we made fun of him once cause we found him sleeping, cuddling a succubus wearing a recently used strap-on. He can't remember anything from taking his fourth drink to waking up next to her. She told us he was flirting with her and being depressed about being always screwed in the end, all she wanted to do was teach him the brighter side of being screwed, rather literally, dood. Then there is me, Fusion Fool the Third, I was called that because I ended up being used in Monster fusions and magichanges, dood. Because of all that and the farming Lord Valvatorez did by fusing me to Desco or fusing me to a Felynn and turning into a fist weapon for some Big Bang user in Mt. Ordeals, left me rather powerful, needless to say, I'm a black prinny, a Prinny God tier prinny. Now back to this story, we caught Sir Emizel and President Axel watching a show called "My Little Pony", we were going to tell Master Fenrich about this so he could admonish them but we were enthralled with the show, dood. After watching the first season, all the prinnies that watched it are rather 'active' about who is their favorite pony, dood. The prinnies that like Rainbow Dash tend to get face smashed by bigger demons by going up to their face and spitting in their eye, dood, they are really reckless but they are loyal like the pony herself. Too bad they have the shortest life span of any prinny in the universe, dood, I gotta admit, they got balls bigger then brains and a lot of speed, and that speed is the only reason why there is still some Rainbow Dash Prinnies around, dood. The Applejack prinnies have started working even harder to pay off their sins, it became common for an AJ prinny to ask some other prinny to let them do their chores. They are very proud and they even stopped lying, the crazy demons, I tell ya dood, They became complete delinquents. They also started a very small apple farm that gets raided by Miss Artina every once in a while. The Pinkie Pie prinnies party non-stop and always have some trick in their fanny pack, dood, but they always try to make other demons happy. One actually pleased Master Fenrich by giving him a box of chocolates, an autographed picture of Lord Valvatorez, and a list of ways to torture the demons he didn't like, they are also Lord Valvatorez's official source of sardines, dood. Rarity Prinnies have refused to work and pushed all their chores onto the AJ Prinnies(not that they mind, dood.) to either make clothing for the female demons or to make sure everything is more than picture perfect, they have gone as far as stitching gems and jewels into their suits, only to be kidnapped and stripped of their decoration within hours. Female demons (Archers, Witches, and Mystic Knights above all else) command them to make them some clothing to wear for some occasion, one Rarity prinny made the mistake of trying to put a dress on a Felynn, we are still picking up what's left of him. Fluttershy Prinnies are the only prinnies that are brave enough to work with the monster demons, even though they are pussies in front of anything else, dood, they also mark as the first group of prinnies that has ever lasted not getting eaten or killed by a demon by more than 2 hours, they are raking it up to a month by now, dood. Thank merciful god they haven't mastered the stare yet, they have been training to use it on some little demons like slumber cats and slimes to little effect. Then there is the best of the best. The Twilight Sparkle Prinnies, we tend to our chores but also read when we can, dood. We can't learn magic though unless we reincarnate a million times though but that's cool, dood, we have accepted this, we are also prone to outbursts and calling other prinnies morons when they disturb our reading, or disturb Super Pal's clopfics. One day, Super Pal was reading while also doodling Twilight and Pinkie Pie making out (what a freak dood, twilestia is the only way to go.) when he found something, we cross-referenced everything we had to this and made checklists that would make a professor blush, and then, dood, was the holy grail for us prinnies, a book that officially stated Equestria's location in what universe. That is how me and the four mentioned earlier have found out that Equestria is in fact real and not some drug- influenced girl show. We planned like any Twilight Sparkle would plan and now, we have the means to beat all the other prinnies. We are now going to take our first step, dood. Our first step to paradise, dood. Next Episode! (Remember to right click and then left click "open to a new tab" or open a new window for the above link, dood) Fusion Fool: Equestria is in danger under the tyrannical rule of Evil Queen Celestia, dood. Twilight Sparkle: What!? The Princess wouldn't be evil, she is good and pure. Fusion Fool: Who else can save the world from the iron hoof of this cruel tyrant, dood? Mr. Kamikaze: N.I.S will kick our asses if we do this, dood. Fusion Fool: Galactic Space Hero Twilight Sparkle is Equestria's last hope, dood. Twilight Sparkle: Galactic... Space Hero? Rainbow Dash: Why is Twilight the hero? I'm the bravest pony around. Super Pal: We are Twilight Fan-Prinnies, dood, that's why Twilight is the hero, dood. Rainbow Dash: Can we draft some Rainbow Dash Fan-Prinnies from Hades, as well? Golden Shower: There aren't enough around the Hades when we left, dood. Fusion Fool: Twilight's Magic will save the day, defeat the evil queen and save her beloved Fluttershy from the jaws of death, dood. Twilight Sparkle: WHAT?! My beloved Fluttershy? Fluttershy: Oh dear, can I be excluded from this? Mr. Kamikaze: I didn't even know Fusion Fool was a TwiShy prinny, dood. Fusion Fool: Next Episode! "The Solar Eclipse, dood." If you blink, you will miss the awesomeness of Lady Sparkle! Twilight Sparkle: What the hay does all this even mean? Pinkie Pie: I always liked these 'Next Episode' segments from the Disgaea games, always so full of win. ~dood~[/hr] And that was that, the CYOA is on hiatus until we get some sort of reader direction, think of it as that one video game you sorta-wanta play but instead you leave it saved, either half way done, or barely started, dood. Please read and review, we prinnies are tough enough to take any form of critism, considering we typed all that from Notepad, and the author's notes directly onto the site itself. HUZZAH FOR IMAGINATION DOOD! Equestria, dood.I had a nap, and went to my computer at one thirty in the morning, dood, couldn't go back to sleep so I checked my new story, the comments inspired me to make this chapter, dood. I really hope it goes well. You know dood, none of Lord Valvatorez's(Valvatorez'?) prinny training has prepared us for what we have found, dood. Instead of corpses, indecent expsoure, and murder, we found bright colours, beautiful scenary, and innocence, dood. There was still indecent exposure, but they were ponies, dood, so who gave a crap? "It's so beautiful, dood." said Master Cupcake, I turned to his direction to see him crying tears of joy. I can't blame him, dood, We were all crying these same tears. Mr. Kamikaze and Golden Shower tried to hide it though. "The air here is so clean dood, no pollution, no blood, and no rifle demon trying to us one of as a urinal, dood." said Super Pal, and we all know we can go without that past added, it was a dark part of our time in the Netherworld, dood. Is that why Golden Shower is brown though? Considering what has happened to us many years ago while we were prinnies, dood? "What are we waiting for, dood? A invitation? We must go and find Lady Sparkle, dood!" Yelled Mr. Kamikaze, we all nodded in agreement as we dried our manly prinny tears, dood(cause it's more manly then any Armored Knight's or Bouncer's tears) and started our trek to the Library! Every pony was staring at us, dood. "What are those?", "Are they from Everfree?", "They look mean." "My hoof hurts." "They better not cause trouble." ...is what they say behind our backs, as we strolled through to the library, and found out rather quickly that we got lost in Ponyville, dood. How embarrassing, dood. "Hi, what are you? I'm Pinkie Pie the party pony, and I know every pony in Ponyville, but I don't know what or who you are that must mean your new to all of Equestria, oh this is so fun, lets throw a party! Because parties are fun, and super, and great, and wow!" Pinkie came out of F-yay-king nowhere and said all that within the span of 5 seconds, we had to restrain Super Pal at the mention of party, dood. "Thank you Ms. Pie, but can you direct us to the library, dood? we have a destiny to fulfill." I asked with some fear in my voice, part of me wanted to talk to Pinkie more, the other and more populated part of me was scared of Pinkie Pie, all of us prinnies have read Cupcakes, dood, and needless to say, we don't want that happening to us. She still looked happy and none of us see a meat cleaver or a hacksaw on her, dood. "Oh a big destiny? Like the Elements of Harmony? or like how Valzy is going to rule the Netherworld, or was it Laharl? I can't remember, that gives me a idea for my next party, a world domination party! But then I don't think the princess' would approve of that, unless they were taking over Equestria, but that's silly since they already have it." I think Mr. Kamikaze's brain blew a fuse, dood. And I still wonder how she learned of the nickname Miss Fuka came up with for Lord Valvatorez, and of Lord Laharl. Party idea seemed neat, dood. Pinkie grabbed me, all the others tried to protect me form my fate in the oven of Sergeant Sprinkles, as she dragged all 5 of us to... The Library? "Here it is, My friend Twilight lives her, and loves to read. Ok enjoy." As she walked off, we looked at the home of our new master, and more manly tears were shed, dood. I moved up to the door, raised a flipper, and knocked on the door to our peaceful servitude as we metaphorically flip off the door to our cruel servitude, dood. "I'm coming, hold on a second." Oh my god, oh my god, wait, isn't it Sweet Celestia now dood? Sweet Celestia, Sweet Celestia, Twilight Sparkle is coming to answer the door! The door opened to reveal, a lizard of our height with purple scales and green spikes, with a light-green underbelly, this wasn't Twilight, dood, this was Spike. "Who are you guys?" He asked. I coughed to reform my composure and to look like the more important prinny of the group. "My name is Fusion Fool the Third, dood, and me and my fellow prinnies have come from Hades to serve under Twilight Sparkle, as her vassals, dood." He gave us a 'Are you serious, dood' look before turning back into the library, "Hey Twilight, whats a vassal?" A voice is heard from the next room over form the main one we see now, dood. "A pony that has entered the services of a lord or monarch, basically the Princess' servants and guardsponies." Spike became even more confused, "But Twilight isn't either of those things, did the Princess sent you? No, she'd send us a letter ahead of time. Princess Luna?" Spike asked us, dood. "We have come on our own accord to serve Twilight, dood." Super Pal said behind me. "But then what about your current lord? I don't think vassals can change their lords just because they fell like it." Spike told us. We stood our ground. "We ran away from Hades to live in Equestria as Twilight Sparkle's servants, you happy now that we spilled our guts, dood? Does that make you feel more of a man, dood?" Said Golden Shower as he tried to intimidate Spike, dood, didn't work too well, it surprised him. Then we saw our Lady walk in to the main room, that lavender coat, that blue hair, those streaks, that horn that has saved Celestia knows how many ponies from morgue, and dat star spangled plot, dood. This is our destiny, dood, our destiny is to kiss Twilight's hooves. "Who are they, Spike? I don't think I have ever read of them before." I push by Spike and Golden Shower to introduce the group. "My name is Fusion Fool the Third, dood, and me and my fellow prinnies have come from Hades to serve under you, Master Twilight, please allow us to serve." I bowed, the rest of my crew did the same, Lady Sparkle was surprised by what we did. "Anywhere you go, we'll follow you down, but not that far, dood!" We all yelled. Our new master and her assistant were speechless. And even more manly tears were shed as we now attempted to live in harmony, in the best gig any prinny could ask for in the Netherworld, working under a Master that was nice, understanding, and had more magic in her horn then most unicorns do in their entire bodies, and we had the honor to serve her and read all the books we wanted, dood. Next Episode! Fusion Fool: A great darkness has taken hold over Sugarcube Corner, dood. Pinkie Pie: NOT MY CUPCAKES! Fusion Fool: The ruthless butcher has made one mistake though, dood, kidnapping our hero's athletic lover, Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash: What? Who's my lover? Golden Shower: Us. Twilight Fan-Prinnies, dood. I am not going to repeat myself. Fusion Fool: Hell's Greatest Detective! Twilight Sparkle, is here to arrest the insane Pinkamina and end the string of Cupcake murders, dood! Twilight: First off, I'm a Detective now? Second, why is Pinkie killing ANYTHING? That isn't like her. Pinkie Pie: What... I'm going to... kill Dashie? Rainbow Dash: And I thought Pinkie's imagination was wild, you little guys are nuts. Fusion Fool: Next Episode: "The Cupcakes stop falling, dood!" Everypony is safe with Twilight on the case. Twilight Sparkle: As true as that statement is, why is Pinkie killing Rainbow Dash? Pinkie Pie: But... I don't wanna kill Dashie. Many Manly tears were shed in this chapter, dood. If the chapters keep coming, I might run out of steam, so I'll probably delay the next update until next week (monday-tuesday-ish), if this chapter is any better. Cheers, dood. On a side note, THANK YOU SO GOD DAMN MUCH FOR COMMENTING! that is all, dood. Introductions and Rules, doodFor the record, I am doing this entire story off the seat of my pants (meaning if it comes to mind, I write it with regret coming to me AFTER I publish the chapter, dood. I am a dumb ass that way, dood. "So, you guys are called prinnies, that are here to serve me?" The best pony asked, dood. "Correct, as I have already given myself a name twice,dood, I'll introduce the other 4 for you benefit, The Brown one is Golden Shower-" "Thats a odd name for a brown prinny, I assume." Twilight asked in a quizzical way, dood. Golden Shower simplied sighed. "I got that name under odd circumstances, dood." "Can't you change your name?" The lavender mare asked, she looked pretty thoughtful for someone that should be laughing at such a silly name, dood. Golden Shower looked like he's gonna cry, dood. "I've tried, dood, the guys incharge of renaming were usually too busy laughing at me." "Well, how about I give you a new name, since you all seem dead set on me becoming your new master." Twilight asked. "Are you serious, dood?" Golden Shower ask, with hope in his eyes. "How about Chocolate, since your a brown prinny and all," Best Pony suggested. Golden Shower cried again, dood. He needs to stop, seriously. He turned to face us prinnies and yelled "I will beat you guys with whatever I find if I am addressed as Golden Shower again, my name is Chocolate, dood, CHOCOLATE!" "I think he likes the name Lady Sparkle." I said, After being surprised by Gold-I mean, Chocolate's remark, she smiled. "Happy to help, my prinnies." That sentence melted my black heart, dood, and I think it had the same effect on my comrades in pony-arms. "As I was saying, dood, this blue prinny with the hazard sign stitched to his back, is called Mr. Kamikaze, he is a masochist." I explained, dood. Twilight frowned at my intro for my blue friend. "Masochist? As in he likes pain?" I chuckle a little, in hopes no one noticed, "Actually he liked getting killed, but he can't do that now cause if he dies, he'll be sent back to the Netherworld to be reincarnated, dood." As I finish my explanation, doom filled the eyes of Mr. Kamikaze, he can't die, dood? If he does, he'll return to that crap box of forced-servitude again. "I can't die? No one pick me up, I don't wanna die, please don't throw me, DOOOOOOD!" Mr. Kamikaze cried, panicking, dood. Twilight backed up a bit, dood. "What does he mean don't throw me and don't pick him up?" I started to sweat, If Twilight finds out that prinnies explode when thrown, she may use that as capital punishment, dood, my mind goes off to imaginationland's evil brother, Bad Possibilities City. "Fusion Fool the Third, you spilled my tea, time to receive punishment" the Imaginary Twilight in my mind said, as she picked me up and threw me into town square where I exploded, and died, dood. "Prinny Rule Number 2, dood: Prinnies will explode when thrown or mishandled, dood." said Super Pal. This is it, we are now officially one stained floor away from the Netherworld, dood. "That's awful, why would anyone make their servants explode?" Twilight asked, that killed off whatever thought of her using that against us, but probably spawned a few prinny based sessions of "Experiments of Twilight Sparkle" where she WANTS to find out how we explode. "Well then, I'll make sure all the ponies know not to pick you guys up and toss you." said Lady Sparkle with a smile, dood. We are infinitely safe here, dood. "You mean, you won't pick us up with your telepathy and throw us in case we spill your tea or scuff a book, dood?" I asked in a worried tone, dood.. "Throwing you is pretty much murder, so I don't see why I should do that for some petty accidents." Her answer made us all breath a sigh of relief, dood. "Back to the intros, This yellow prinny here is Master Cupcake, dood. He was employed by a real tyrant of a person earlier, she made him make cupcakes forever, dood. But he escaped and joined us in Hades." Master Cupcakes was still in awe of being in Lady Sparkle's presence, dood. "Wow, that sounds awful, I don't want to sound rude, but if you want to make cupcakes for fun, Master Cupcakes, I'm sure Pinkie Pie will love to have you help her." Twilight said, I now wonder how many tears a prinny has in them, since Master Cupcakes started crying in joy again, dood. "The final one of us is Super Pal, He is the purple prinny that likes to party hard, dood, the more alcohol, the better." As I finish, Super Pal, puff's his chest out in pride, dood. Twilight thinks for a second then answers "I am not sure if Pinkie spikes the punch, but Applejack's cider has some alcohol in it if you are interested." I must admit, I didn't think ponies could drink booze, dood, But at least Super Pal seems okay with it. "OK, I heard one of you say something about rules, can one of you clarify?" Twilight said. I didn't like this part at all, dood, sort of wanted to make our own rules. "Prinny Rule Number 1: We must always say 'dood' in our lines." said Super Pal, dood. "Is that why all of you say dood at random points in your sentences?" Twilight asked, dood. "Yes sir, dood" proclaimed Master Cupcake, "You already heard of Prinny Rule Number 2, so Prinny Rule Number 3 is we must always be paid at least one sardine for 20 hours of labour, dood." Twilight looked shocked, "one measly sardine for 20 hours of work? that's cruel, but I don't want to break the rules, is there a rule about you guys getting a cupcake or two for less extent of time?" Our eyes went wide at this, our lady was going to up our pay, dood? We couldn't cry anymore, Super Pal was trying to make himself shed more tears after everything that has happened today, dood. "It is possible, dood." said Mr. Kamikaze, there was no rule against it, and the sound of being payed anything more than a sardine was awesome in my books, dood. "But I'll get to that later, so, what are the other rules?" Twilight asked with a lot of curiosity in her tone. "Prinny Rule Number 4 is that we can never slack off, or else we are punished by doing chores of a lesser leveled prinny, dood." Super Pal, said. "Prinny Rule Number 5 is that we must never question our master in anyway shape or form, and finally Prinny Rule Number 6 is that we must never make our Master wait." Twilight thought about this for a moment, dood. "Those last 3 rules were rather fair considering it is a job, what pony would want someone slacking off on them? So what are prinnies? Are they just large blue penguins or is there something else I need to know?" inquired Twilight, dood. "Nope, that's all we are, just blue penguins, dood" I said in a instant, dood. Twilight frowned at this answer, "are you sure, you guys look like you were stitched together, like a monster of sorts." I had to say something quick, dood. "That is just for show, dood, nothing weird about that." I think I sated her curiosity, but the whole 'human criminal forced into servitude to pay for their sins' is a bit farfetched for her to figure out by herself, dood. "Ok, back to that third rule, how about I give you guys a apple and a cupcake for 4 hours of work as well as the sardine?" Twilight bargained, what prinny would refuse this offer, dood? All of us looked at each other and it was official "We accept, you can have us do anything, dood!" we all said at once. "We'll even continue to follow you to hell for that kind of pay raise, dood." said Mr. Kamikaze, dood. "Then I pinkie promise to help you guys out, cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my ey-ouch." The Pinkie Promise, dood. It is official, not even Lord Valvatorez can drag us back now if we tell him about the Pinkie Promise. I thought I was out of Manly tears, I was wrong. Next episode! Fusion Fool: Something sinister is happening at Sweet Apple Acres, dood. Twilight Sparkle: Great, what is it now? Applejack: Hold up, whats happening at my farm? Fusion Fool: The Mac Attack has gone berserk. He is now after Rarity, who will save her, dood? Rarity: Mac Attack? Why would Big Mcintosh attack me? Fusion Fool: Inter-dimensional Super Hero Twilight Sparkle will swoop in and save Rarity from a cruel fate that visited the Crusaders, dood. Twilight: Hold up, what happened to the crusaders? Mr. Kamikaze: We said too much, dood. Chocolate: By the way Fusion Fool, dood. Pick a ship. Fusion Fool: Any ship is a good ship as long as Twilight is in the center of it, dood. Super Pal: He has a point, dood. Twilight Sparkle: I want an answer to my question. Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash: So do we. Master Cupcake: We'll explain when you're older, dood. Fusion Fool: Next Episode: "Sweet Apple Massacre, dood!" Only the Lavender Dream can stop the Mac Attack, dead in it's tracks. Twilight Sparkle: FUSION FOOL! ANSWERS! NOW! Pinkie Pie: Wow, gotta say, neat how Twilight went from space detective to private investigator to dimensional super hero in the course of 3 chapters, but that's probably why we love our Mary-Sue! If you do not know Valvatorez or played Disgaea 4, dood, know that Valvatorez is a nut when it comes to 2 things, promises and sardines, so a Pinkie Promise will keep him at bay, dood. As well, I am so sorry, if you didn't like this. Prinnies get it good for the first few chapters, then shit will eventually hit the fan, I don't like reading about OC ponies and thus i dislike USEING OC ponies, but eventually, I may have to bite the bullet on this, dood. Till, the weekend, dood. What Fourth Wall, dood? Plus We got Apples.Thank you guys for your open mind on my mistake I call "The day Lyra went missing", dood. I'll try to stick to this one for as long as I can, despite having a follow up to the clopfic in mind, this time that one is planned, so I'll probably rename the story to something else, dood. Quick FYI, this chapter contains horrible abuse to the fourth wall. ~dood~[/hr] With Chocolate helping Spike and Rarity, Master Cupcake baking with Pinkie, Mr. Kamikaze acting as nurse to Fluttershy, dood, Me and Super Pal assist Lady Sparkle with Applejack's applebucking season, and in no way does that sound dirty to use demons, dood, unless you are a succubus. Anyways, I am doing the walking, the bash to the back of Super Pal's head, curtsey of Chocolate, had him KOed and riding on our future overlord's back, lucky bastard, dood. During our travels to the apple farm, I catch a glimpse of a fast pony, a blur of green. with some white and black, Twilight slows abit, looking around with a critical eye, that tells me I am not crazy, dood. I have to say this for Applejack, her farm is f***ing far from Ponyville compared to what we were made to believe in the show, fan stories, and pictures, dood. "Fusion Fool, I gotta ask, how are you going to buck apples with peg legs? I'm just curious." Twilight asks me, dood, I look into my handy-dandy pouch and find, two swords, I'd get bucked in the face then explode if I use these to gather apples, dood. Bomb? not even Mr. Kamikaze is that stupid, dood. Baseball bat? my last resort, dood. Magic Skull? that might work, dood. "I can use this demon skull or baseball bat to knock the apples down, dood." I answer her after a low period of me thinking. "I see, you sure you won't break any trees? After your explanation on levels and teirs, I gotta assume that you would probably cause a tree to soar to the moon if you so much as tap it with your flipper," said the lavender pony, dood. "Doesn't work that way, dood, if it's written in the script, then sure, it'll happen, but our true power comes form whatever the writer of the script dictates, as such." I answer her, not caring about the fourth wall, dood. "Script? Writer? you sound like Pinkie and her weird chatting about humans, funnel cakes, and me becoming a alicorn." Twilight stated, dood. "First off, humans do exist, just not in Equestria, and God willing it stays that way, dood. Second, we prinnies have been busting the fourth wall a lot longer then Pinkie Pie, dood, despite the fact that Pinkie beats us in that regard, and thirdly, you might become a alicorn, you never know, it could be magic, Celestia, an injection of alicorn DNA into your flank-" "What was that last one?" Twilight asked, interrupting me. "Magic, dood?" I stuttered. "And what do you mean, god-willing? I take it humans are bad?" Lady Sparkle asks, I had a few seconds to answer, but it was pretty easy to answer anyways, dood. "Not all humans are bad, but there are some humans you just wanna punch in the head until you hit concrete, dood. Same goes from bronies, most of them are pretty civil people that just like you girls as their mascot or for your character style, dood, then there are the freaks that take it to the 'Trekkie' or 'Star Wars' level that makes us all look bad as a group, dood, before you ask, Trekkie is a term for someone that likes a show called Star Trek, and Star Wars is a franchise, both of which come from the human world, dood." I explain, dood. "I don't think I needed to know that last part, sounds interesting, but not something I want to pursue, so there are humans that go 'loco in the coco' for us ponies?" The questions never end, dood. "You don't wanna know, I'm just going to throw it out there that there are at least 20 figurines of you covered in either nacho cheese, drool, soda pop, or something I'm not going to mention." I shuddered at that last thing, most bronies are cool, yes dood, but there are indeed some that would make any pony second guess 'Love and Tolerance for all.' After kicking the fourth wall in the crotch and spitting in his face for two paragraphs and a sentence, dood, we arrive at Sweet Apple Acres, Super Pal even wakes up when we get here, dood. "Anyone get the number of that truck that hit me, dood?" Super Pal asks, still unbalanced, dood. "Yea, Chocolate apparently received the power to hear anything call him by his old name when he received his new one, then run over and bash their head in with a bat, dood." I explain to my half-conscience friend, dood. "Ok, tell him I said 'hi', dood, by the way, where are we?" He takes a look around his surroundings, "holy shit, dood! We are at Sweet Apple Acres! We can get drunk, dood!" Super Pal squeals like a little girl that received a new car for getting good marks in school and made a mad dash around to find the stetson-wearing owner of the farm. "For someone that never had apple cider before, he must like it alot." Twilight says. "He likes to drink, dood." I say. After a minute of walking some more, we found a orange pony with a blonde mane wearing a, screw it dood, we found Applejack with Super Pal sweating bullets underneath her right foreleg or forehoof? Applejack notices us, "Hey Twilight, you know what these strange critters are?" Applejack asked in her southern accent I can't replicate in the story, dood. "Hello AJ, these are the prinnies, three of them were sent to help the others so I got Super Pal, the one you have pinned, and Fusion Fool, the one next to me." Twilight explains, dood. "I just wanted some cider, dood." I face flippered, he should have known that the Apple family always sell out on their cider on the first day due to the high demand, yet he somehow believes they had a extra supply hiding somewhere? Some prinnies, dood. "We don't have any cider, little fella, sorry about bucking ya to the ground, though." That didn't sound dirty at all to a demon, dood. "But, you are a farmer, dood, you always have booze." Super Pal cried, I almost felt like hitting him, dood. "Nope, and we can't sell any for a few weeks, the apples we use for the cider aren't quite right, yet." the earth pony explain, dood. Super Pal looked to the ground, feeling like Rainbow Dash every time the cider goes on sale and she misses out. "Cheer up, Super, I bet if you work really hard, Applejack might save you a cup." That inspired him to grab a bat from his pouch and start harvesting apples, dood. "That got him going." Twilight said with a smile, dood. Applejack however was dumbfounded. "I'll be, I didn't know those little guys can work." she said, she then glances to me, dood. "What, dood? We prinnies are never THAT motivated to work, I'm just as surprised as you are." I added, Super Pal cleared 20 trees in 5 minutes with a bat, and no trees are trying to plant themselves on the moon from getting hit by a baseball bat. I take out my own bat and assist him by clearing the opposite side, Applejack continues talking to Twilight, can't hear what they are saying though, dood, but it's probably questions about us. After their private meeting, Applejack goes back to her side of the trees and Twilight starts levitating the baskets of apples we harvest with her magic, dood. After a hard days of work, probably the hardest any of us have ever worked, dood. Applejack comes back with a single basket of apples balancing on her back, "here ya go, finest apples in Equestria." Me and Super Pal stare at the apples like it's a pudding from the sea of gehenna that was given to us as a reward, dood, except as a apple from the most honest pony ever, dood. We each take a apple in our flippers and start eating it, AJ may have been boasting about her apples, but when they taste this good, they deserve the pedestal the orange mare is putting them on, dood. "I think they like them, that's good." Twilight says with a beaming smile, she grabs a single apple, eats it, then levitates the basket, I assume that she plans on sharing them with the others plus Spike, dood. "HELP, DOOD!" one of our comrades scream out in the distance, sounds like Mr. Kamikaze, but the next thing that is screamed out made both me and Super Pal cringe in fear, a fierce battle cry that would spell doom to all prinnies that enter Equestria, the hurricane to end all hurricane's dood. "CUTIE MARK PENGUIN WRANGLERS! YAY! Next Episode! Fusion Fool: Eternal night has conquered the world, dood. Twilight: What? But Nightmare Moon was beaten. Fusion Fool: The Princess is captured and the land in ruins, it falls to one mare to save them all and win the princess' heart, dood. Twilight: Me? and the Princess? That can't happen at all, First she is a princess and I'm just her student. Master Cupcakes: You'd be surprised on how well Twilestia works, dood. Pinkie: It would be awkward though, since Celestia is pretty much Twilight's other mom and the fact that she is twice Twilight's size. Chocolate: We bronies have a name for that, Molestia, dood. Princess Celestia: Interesting term, My Little Prinnies. Super Pal: (Squee) She said it! Fusion Fool: May I continue? Princess Celestia: Of course. Fusion Fool: Champion of Harmony and Knight of Magic, Twilight Sparkle, arrives on scene to smite the wicked Nightmare Moon back to the barren wasteland of the moon, dood Princess Luna: Why are we stealing Equestria and our sister from Twilight? Twilight: I still don't know. Fusion Fool: Next Episode: "Dusk and Dawn" May Twilight's Mighty Horn pierce the heavens and bring the day back, dood. Princess Celestia: And you accuse me of being 'Molestia' Fusion Fool: Still do since you took that as an innuendo, dood. Twilight: This isn't happening to me. Chapter 5 at long last, sorry about the wait. This may seem rushed, but i REALLY tried harder on this then I did on that sad excuse of a clopfic, and for those that didn't catch it the first few times, I did infact add that 'Next Episode' segment to all the previous chapters, and will continue to do so for now on, dood. Cheers, dood! Prinny Recall, Dood, Author needs to get shot for the OC though.As the chapter says, a brand spanking new pony enters the story, I don't know why but turning a already existing pony into a demon spy would sound even sillier, dood. I reread this for some spelling errors, but I lack the writing skills to catch grammar errors and poor use of periods and commas, so I am sorry dood. ~dood~[/hr] "God, Celestia, Luna, Discord, other gods from other games and religions! Please save me from these mares of destruction, dood!" Cried Mr. Kamikaze as he ran from the three fillies that could royally mess our business in Equestria up by being adventurous, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, dood. For anything with sticks for legs, he is damn good at running away from the girls, dood. "Get it!" called out Applebloom as she continued her chase with her friends, dood. Sweetie Belle sees me, crap dood. "There's another one, let's go get it!" The girls stop chasing Mr. Kamikaze and make a bee-line to me, dood. "Girls!" The stern tone Twilight gave the girls somehow managed to stop them in their tracks, a foot or two away from my position. "Be careful, the prinnies told me they explode when you throw them or mishandle them, what do you think would happen when you start rough housing with one of them?" The girls look to the ground in shame as they absorbed the unicorns, words, dood, "They'd probably be dust, or ash, maybe bits and pieces of flesh after the prinny in question, blows up, dood." I say with some worry in my tone dood, since I was almost tackled and killed by the crusaders, dood. "Fusion Fool, that isn't helping, don't give the girls those mental images now." Twilight scolds me, I feel bad, dood. "We're sorry, Mr. Penguin" they said in unison, dood. Mr. Kamikaze walks over to me while Fluttershy heads our way. "That was scary, dood, Fluttershy used the Stare too, but the attack missed them cause their backs were to her as they chased me here, dood. Save me from the crusaders!" The blue prinny cried. Super Pal comes over to comfort his friend, dood. "Are you alright Mr. Prinny? I'm so sorry for what the girls did to you, please don't be mad at me." Fluttershy said with sad tone, who wants to tell her it's illegal to be mad at her in the brony community, dood? Mr. K, cause I am tired of typing Mr. Kamikaze all the bloody time for him, slowly gets up from his mild stroke, thanks to the girls, "No...problem....dood" he said as he falls back to the ground, dood. "Why did you girls chase him anyways?" Twilight questioned the fillies, dood. "Spill it girls, did you think you'd get a cutie mark from harassing weird penguin critters?" Applejack asked as-well, with complete disregard for our feelings, dood. "A green unicorn told us that if we catch the prinnies, we would be guaranteed our cutie marks." Scootaloo said, green unicorn, dood? "Lyra said this?" asked Twilight, dood. The girls shook their heads. "No, she looks a little similar, she has white and black mane that kinda goes off to the side slightly over her right eye, and her cutie mark looked very weird." Sweetie belle exclaims, dood. "How...weird of a cutie mark...was it, dood?" I ask in fear, please tell me it's not- "It looked like she put a silhouette of her head in a creepy grin and angry eyes, with two bolts of lightning behind it." Appleblooms says, crap dood. "Do you know this pony, Fusion Fool?" Twilight asks me, she is only the fear director of the Netherworld, she only got that job cause she is good with organization and couldn't scare a human if her life depended on it cause demon ponies are not scary at all, dood. "Nope, not at all, dood." I lied, dood. "We'll have to check on the others then, would you girls like to help me, in case this mystery pony is bad?" Twilight said, dood. AJ stepped up, dood. "Of course sugar cube, besides if you said that the other prinnies were helping our friends, that means that our friends could be in trouble." Fluttershy walked over to us, and tried to put on a serious face, bless her heart dood. " I'll come too, we have to save them...you know, if you think I could help out." Fluttershy said. And with that the mares headed straight back into town, with me, Mr. K, and Super Pal following them, the CMC kinda pulled a Houdini on us while we were planning, must have headed to their clubhouse, dood. Our first stop was Sugar Cube Corner, a building that appeared to have been made out of gingerbread and candy, I don't want to find out if that's true or false, dood. We enter the bakery to find Mrs. Cake at the till, and what appears to be Pinkie Pie in the back making cupcakes. I look to Mr. K to see if he is freaking out, he was. "I don't wanna be here, dood, this place scares me." He said, the ponies of our group and some nearby looked at him like he was a pansy, he really was, dood. "Grow a pair, would you? The story you read is fake, made up by a sick degenerate that made people like you question Pinkie Pie's sanity, dood." Master Cupcake said as he walked out of the kitchen, he was covered in flour though, dood. "Hey everybody, Cupcake is such a great baker assistant to the baker's assistant, but I gotta throw a party later in the day for him, (gasp) there are more of you? This party will have to be bigger then, Maybe I can use the Town Hall or Applejack's Barn, or maybe Twilight's Library, oh right, hi Twilight, hi Applejack, hi Fluttershy, anyways I'm Pinkie Pie, how are you three funny prinny guys, dood?" Did she forget that we met yesterday, dood? "Oh shoot, we did meet in chapter two, didn't we? I forgot all about it cause of the author's poor fanfiction writing skills, I told you where Twilight's Library was, how could I forget all that? I still need to make a party for you guys and your brown friend that isn't here right now, be right back." Pinkie ran up to her room, how did she, what the, my brain is full of f*** right now, dood. "Was she like this all day, dood?" I asked Master Cupcake. "Yeah, dood, she even asked about why we say dood all the time, and how we were made, even though she answered all my questions for me, dood." he said, dood. "Why do you guys say dood, all the time?" ask Fluttershy, "Prinny rule number one, we gotta say 'dood' in all our lines or sentences or we get demoted to level one prinny tasks, cleaning toilets, dood." I answer her question, she made a cute gasp that sounded like 'oh my', Applejack was also surprised to hear this. "Cupcake, did a green unicorn come by here" ask Twilight, he thought about it, dood. "Lyra? nope, haven't seen her all day, dood." I shook my head, "The angry green unicorn, dood." I told him. His eyes went big, "Oh crap, Gigavolt is here, dood?" The three of the Mane Six looked at us in confusion, "I thought you said you didn't know this pony?" Twilight questioned me, dood. I felt the heat from her glare, dood. "I sorta lied to protect ourselves and possibly other, dood." I managed to say, dood. "Fess up, who is this Gigavolt?" Applejack continued the interrogations, dood. "Gigavolt is one of the very few demon ponies in the netherworld, I say few cause they are usually the more favored prey of almost every other demon in the netherworld, dood. Ponies like Gigavolt were once ponies from Equestria that died but had enough spirit in them to reincarnate immediately to save her from becoming a prinny or sit in line waiting for her rebirth back into the normal world as a baby whatever, with a clean memory, dood. Ponies with tons of regret go to Hades, and Ponies with no regret go to Celestia, do not confuse the place with the princess, please dood. As I was saying, Gigavolt is crafty, she used her magic to study the technology, making her very good in mechanics and the sort, dood. While she studied, her magic started to lose it's normal 'glowy' bit and now is more focused on electricity, in other words dood, she is a walking battery with a built-in lightning rod, electrical attacks only power her up but she still has to micromanage her power or she'll have to find something to recharge her magic, like say, a thunder cloud. She is rather devious and mean when anything gets in her way, but then again, she has to be, the netherworld is no place for a pony, dood." I explain to my audience. "Well said, but then again, you left out something" a voice behind me says, everyone looks a little spooked, I turned around and shat bricks, dood. "I am also very powerful." The green demon pony that scared us said, Gigavolt. On her back was Chocolate, tied to her. "Sorry guys, she grabbed me when she distracted Rarity and Spike with a giant ruby." Chocolate said, tears streaming down his face. "The ruby is fake by the way, it's just a very large boulder with shiny red paint on it, you should be ashamed by thinking it was real." Gigavolt scolded. That might have pissed Rarity off when she finds out, dood. "I am here to reclaim the prinnies for Lord Valvatorez, please don't make this difficult, Valvatorez was annoyed that some of them escaped." The meanie unicorn said, dood. Twilight stepped in front of her. "I don't know who or what this Valvatorez guy is, but these prinnies wanted to come to Equestria, and if they want to return, they can when they want to." Twilight words had some venom in them, but Gigavolt wasn't too fazed, "You are aware of what prinnies are, correct?" Oh crap, Gigavolt is going to spill what we are to the ponies, dood. "They are penguins from Hades, servants and vassals to the current leader, right?" Twilight answered, dood. "Servants and vassals from Hades, yes. Penguins? No, they are souls from other worlds that have commit crimes in their life, the more they sin, the longer they stay as a prinny, they complete tasks to one day walk under the red moon and reincarnate back into the world of the living." Gigavolt explains, Applejack and Fluttershy were taken back by this, Pinkie Pie, who appeared out of nowhere was eating pop corn, dood. But Twilight, she turned around to face us with anger in her eyes. "You guys lied to me, you said you were just penguins. So that's what the stitching is for, to keep your soul bound, and if the stitching comes off, your soul will be exposed and it will explode." Damn she's good, dood. I was at panic mode five, so were the rest of us. "I'm sorry Twilight, if I told you we were bad guys forced to become the bitch of demons to pay for our sins, you probably be scared of what we could do." I said, I was ashamed of myself, dood. "You still lied, Fusion Fool, that's very bad, but we'll talk about that and trust later." She turned back to Gigavolt, "You still can't have them." Twilight stood defiantly to the demon pony, dood. Gigavolt sighed, dood, "I wasn't asking if I can have them, I merely implied that if you get in my way, accidents will happen." she said, she's going to do something bad, dood. "Answer is still no, you can't have them." Applejack walks to Twilight's right with Pinkie at her left, Fluttershy still hanging back. "Very well, it was a pleasure meeting you all." Gigavolt's horn started to cackle in electricity, as it hit the ground, a line of electricity started to move erratically towards the mares, this was her Zap Tap attack, dood. It touched them and shocked Twilight, AJ, and Pinkie into the back wall. "I may break the fourth wall every now and then and do things that makes Twilight's head spin, but even I know electrical shocks like that doesn't just send ponies flying into walls like that." Pinkie ranted, dood. "This is why demon reality is better then this 'normal' reality." The evil pony grumbled as she charged for another Zap Tap. The girls got back on their hooves as Twilight started to charge her own spell, Twilight fired her spell as Gigavolt did her own, Twilight jumped out of the way as we watch the wall the bolt of electricity hit received a new door. The spell Twilight fired hit Gigavolt in the face, dood, she leaned back form the impact, Chocolate fell from her back and tried to roll towards us. "Bad Idea, Miss Sparkle." she said, as she re-assumed her normal composure, her horn started to charge a larger spell, "Doesn't matter, I wanted to avoid incident, the Prinnies will return to Hades when they die, so why don't we just cut the middle man and add a few more prinnies to Hades." Gigavolt says, her grin growing wider as her spell was nearing completion, crap, Satellite Launch dood. For your information readers, Gigavolt built a Satellite to float in the orbit of whatever world she is in, because of this, her teleports take more energy cause she just has to bring that thing with her everywhere she goes, just in case she just has to blow something or someone up with her Satellite Launch, this will end badly, dood. A blue blur hits Gigavolt in the side losing her concentration and maybe causing her Satellite to stop sending us to hell with a electric death. "Was this mare causing trouble, guys? She looked suspicious and started casting things and talking like a lame Nightmare Moon." Rainbow Dash said getting up but standing on top of Gigavolt, the demon pony didn't look happy, dood. "A Lame Nightmare Moon? Guess that is believable since that's the only evil thing that could invade Equestria, but it still stands that you are now in deep shit, all of you." Gigavolt zapped Rainbow Dash off her and went back to her 'destroy the area with a Satellite Laser' plan, dood. "First off, what about Discord? He's evil, and you can't swear, this is a show for little girls." Pinkie said, you tell her, dood. Twilight started to charge her own spell in hopes to stop Gigavolt, Applejack and Rainbow Dash (who just recovered from the electric shock) headed in to tackle her, dood. Gigavolt looked annoyed by Pinkie's outburst and stopped channeling her spell, "Discord isn't evil, he is chaotic, the difference being that evil doers want to hurt ponies, while chaotic beings just want to have fun, regardless of who it hurts, it does sound evil but it doesn't make them evil, look at Deadpool, for examp-oof" Gigavolt was cut-off by our favorite farmer and bi-curious flyer tackling her into the ground, I still can't believe she stopped her attack just to tell Pinkie off, dood, that's just weird and kinda dumb. AJ and Dash got off Gigavolt in time to let Twilight get a clear shot of the demon, launching her own spell, it hits Gigavolt in the horn, she felt that one, dood. "That is it, no more miss nice demon." She uses her magic to levitate us prinnies, AJ, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight in the air and starts electrocuting us. the pain was bad, dood, and the ponies were not liking it at all, "Hey!" a voice came from near the register. Fluttershy came out of her hiding spot and marched her flank up to Gigavolt, oh crap dood, the STARE. It appears not even demons are immune to it, Gigavolt was struggling to keep her spell up as Fluttershy stared into her soul and busting it's cap with her eyes, dood. "Put my friends down, right now, missy." Gigavolt did just that, dood. "You should be ashamed of yourself, you shouldn't hurt ponies, and you definitely shouldn't kill anyone, even these nice prinnies, so what that they are the souls of criminals, they can earn their reincarnation here, but you should never force someone to do something they don't want to do, what kind of example are you setting for others? Now clean up your mess, and go home, NOW!" I don't know what Fluttershy meant by others since demon kids will love to see a demon roast other demons, but she still scared the crap out of a demon, pony or not, and that earned her points with us. Gigavolt shook her head, trying to break out of the Stare's effect. "I don't need to do anything about your mess, however, I will be back to get the prinnies, mark my words." A bolt of lightning hit Gigavolt and she vanished with it. "That was too close, dood, good thing Pinkie distracted her and Shy soul-stared her." Chocolate said, getting his breath back. "We still need to be careful, I'll talk to Rarity about helping us, but I want to make sure one of us has a Prinny at all times, I don't want them to be left alone." Twilight ordered, the plan seems legit to me, dood. We returned to the Library and find Spike sitting at a desk, looking gloomy dood, "Hey Spike, whats the matter, dood." Super Pal asked. "We found a big ruby out at the mountain but found out it was just a big boulder, we turn around and find that Chocolate disappeared, Rarity was angry and stormed back to her house." Spike recalled, I called it dood. "I'll tell her, who did that trick tomorrow, we all need some sleep after today." Twilight said, dood. Spike's curiosity peaked. "What happened?" he asked, dood. "We were almost vaporized by a demon pony's satellite laser because she wanted us to return to Hades, dood." Mr. K said, walking to the makeshift bed on the main floor. I want this day to end, dood. Gigavolt came here under orders to get us back and I think she was told to do this with discretion, but will gladly kill some ponies if they keep bothering her. This is a pain in the ass, dood. Next Episode Fusion Fool: A new foe has appeared, dood. Twilight: Yea, we need to stop Gigavolt eventually. Gigavolt: Drinking my orange juice, right here. Mr. Kamikaze: OH GOOD GOD, DOOD, RUN! Gigavolt: I can't do shit in this segment, only in the real chapters, Rules laid down by NIS. Fluttershy: So you won't try to hurt us with Zap Tap or Satellite Launch? Gigavolt: Not in this segment. Fusion Fool: The dreaded pony Gigavolt as taken Luna hostage, dood! Gigavolt: Why? Whats my motivation? Money, power, lust? Fusion Fool: Only Twilight Sparkle can save the Princess of the Night, dood. Twilight: Every time Fusion Fool does this, Only I can save the day, apparently. Gigavolt: You sound bored. Fusion Fool: A battle between Pure Magic and Static Manipulation draws near, dood. Pinkie: That would be totally neat to watch. Super Pal: I know, dood. Fusion Fool: Next Episode: The Battle for the Moon! Watch as this epic battle shatters the the face of the moon itself, dood. Luna: Not my Moon! Twilight: Why the moon? I can't breathe in space. Gigavolt: Gotta love being a demon, mare. And thus, Gigavolt enters the stage, I am sorry again. So now Gigavolt will be a regular opponent for the Mane6 in her quest to get rich by stealing the prinnies away to Hades, under Valvatorez's orders, don't worry dood. Gigavolt will stop being a jerk eventually, after Valzy makes a appearance eventually, dood. Dammit, spoilers, dood. Want It, Need It, DoodThe late updates is because we Prinnies work 20 hour days, so we only have 4 hours of free time, so yea, and most prinnies wanna spend that sleeping, dood. ~dood~[/hr] A week has passed since Gigavolt attacked us at Sugarcube Corner, ever since then, the Mane6 has been making sure we are never left alone, but at the same time, we are forced to work harder then usual, not as bad as back in Hades, mind you, dood. The girls have been more cautious around us ever since they found out we are criminals from the human world, dood, so they make sure we earn our reincarnation by working us half way to the bone, our eight hours a day has changed to twelve hour days, but the pay remains the same, so that’s still good for us, dood. According to Master Cupcake, Pinkie and him ran around Ponyville giving invitations to her 'best-est' friends, so it'll be a small gathering of six ponies, a dragon-whelp, and five prinnies, dood. Twilight of course wanted to make sure she was prepared for any surprises Pinkie may throw at her, in case Pinkie wanted to prank her guests. Me and Mr. K are basically cleaning the library, Chocolate was sent to help Applejack with the apple harvest, and Super Pal is helping Fluttershy taking care of animals, Spike is being Twilight's number one assistant at the moment, getting her supplies and what-not, in other words, dood, it'll be a boring day until the party tonight. “I'm pretty sure she'll just spike the punch, dood.” Mr. K says, while dusting one of the bookshelves, dood. “Nah, too simple dood, I bet she'll make water balloons and fill them with red paint, then drop them on everyone, dood.” I say, just to shut him up, shame the fanfiction writers have warped his mind, dood. “What if she drugged the cupcakes, dood? And we all wake up in her basement, with our entrails everywhere and being used as ingredients for the cupcakes she sells up front? If this is the case and I don't get the chance to say it, can some one tell her to bake me into a muffin and serve me to Derpy, dood? She needs some good will after that parental attack from Last Round-up, dood.” Mr. K pleads, dood. Twilight and Spike look at him like he's a mental patient, which isn't far off, dood. “She won't bake us into cupcakes, dood, Me and Master Cupcake just explained it to you, seven times yesterday, dood.” I am about ready to show him love and tolerance with the back of my flipper, dood. “What sort of imagination do you prinnies have?” Twilight asks, confused and a minute away from being disgusted, dood. “Humans and Prinnies have our fanart and fanfiction, dood, ofter used as a power of good to make our fellow bronies know that 'this pony is a bad ass' or this pony is too cute' or unfortunate cases that ruin our fandom in the eyes of those that want My Little Pony to stay innocent, like clopfics and grimdark, Mr. K here takes grimdark too seriously, and only the Rainbow Dash prinnies like the clopfics since Rainbow Dash is basically a flying pride symbol to the community, but again, that’s frowned upon to many of us, as well, dood.” I explain, dood. Twilight and Spike look on, trying to process what I just said, dood. “So bronies can be the nicest of people or the creepiest.” Twilight tries to piece together. “Yes, dood, and it's the creepiness that makes everyone think we bronies are middle aged men in our underwear watching a little girl's show giggling like we should be in a asylum, dood.” I said. Mr. K starts poking me with the duster in his flipper. “I think we should stop raping the fourth wall, dood, otherwise people may think this is a clopfic with how badly we are beating it.” I nod in agreement, dood. Lady Sparkle and Spike are both confused beyond belief, dood. “Is this the same fourth wall Pinkie talks about?” Twilight asks. “Probably, dood.” Mr. K says. “Oh darn, we are so late, Fusion, why didn't you tell me the party was happening now?” Twilight scolds me, dood. “I was trying to get your attention for a half hour, dood, you kicked me in the face ten minutes ago telling me to shut up, Mr. K was too scared to go near her because of that savage attack to my beak, dood.” Spike riding on Twilight's back (lucky son of a bitch, dood) “If you are a fan of Twilight like you claim to be, you'd know that you can't take a book away from Twilight or you might as well be asking for some hurting.” We continue our sprint to Sugarcube Corner, with just seconds to spare, Twilight opens the door, with us following behind her. We are faced with a rather odd predicament, all the other girls are staring at Twilight, with bedroom eyes, no sign of Master Cupcake, Super Pal, or Chocolate, the floor has five cups of , what I assume to be, punch. The girls start moving towards us, but I am pretty sure they want Twilight, and I am pretty sure they are thinking of what to do with Lady Sparkle's horn, dood. “Run, dood.” I tell Twilight, she didn't need to be told twice, teleporting out of there, the girls all flood out of there, trying to catch the lavender mare. We start to investigate the party now that the girls are now occupied, dood. “I knew that Pinkie would spike the punch, dood.” Mr. K says. Me and Spike look at him, “Why would she fall victim to her own prank, dood?” I ask him. He tries to defend his logic. "Pinkie is Pinkie, dood." “Drugged punch, and why aren't the other prinnies here?” Spike asks “If all the girls were here, the other prinnies should have been here too.” We all come to a simple conclusion, Gigavolt, dood. “OK, me and Spike will go find Gigavolt, Mr. K, you go help Twilight, dood.” I ordered. “SWEET, DOOD!” he answered. “No shipping, dood” I uttered. “Aw man, dood.” Mr. K didn't like that, I am pretty sure he'd try to mess with Twilight to purposely have it all happen. “Come on, dood. Can't we chalk this up to Twilight's already great swag and let them have her?” He tried to reason with me. “Cause I am trying to keep MLP innocent, not into a pervert's paradise, dood.” I say, I think I heard him say “then why write this situation into your story, dood.” under his breath as he walks out the door. Me and Spike start patrolling the area, dood. Every once in awhile, I see Mr. K trying to mess with Rainbow Dash's flying by steering her away from Twilight, only to be ninja kicked by Rarity a little while later, or bucked off by Applejack. He also tries to push the ponies away from her, and he also managed to make a fake Twilight, which actually fooled them for 5 minutes before they proceeded to beat Mr. K into the dirt then go back to their magic hunt (see what I did thar, dood?). Me and Spike were not making any progress, dood. No sign of a electrical pony with three prinny captives, only darkness, the sounds of giggling and one sound of fear, and then the sound of “shut up” from what I think is the ponies trying to sleep. After 20 minutes of searching we find Gigavolt getting ready to send our friends to Hades, I go in and let loose Prinny Barrage, which catches her by surprise, “Damn, at least this saves me some time in finding you, where is Mr. Kamikaze, Fusion Fool?” She asks, recovering from my attack, I was about to answer her, until all of us see him pulling on Applejack's tail, trying to slow her down from catching Twilight, dood. “I see, so my plan worked rather well.” Me and Spike tried to look as angry as a baby dragon and a prinny can look> “You drugged the punch with a love potion, didn't you.” Spike accuses, dood. The green mare remained neutral in her facial features, dood.“Yes, I wanted to try out a little potion me and some professors made, the infamous, 'Want it, Need It' spell was our base of course, but I had to modify it so that appears to be a simple love spell, for you see, this potion, makes the victims dependent on the very existence of the first person they see, it was a real gamble on the girls not looking at each other after they took the first sip, but chance is something I do enjoy.” Me and Spike look at this demented mare in astonishment, dood. “That’s scary, dood.” I say, cause this is a inconvenience to everyone not just the victims. “But I am giving you prinnies what you want, Twilight has lordship over her friends, with a command the girls will do anything she tells her too, the love by product of it all makes them want a physical touch like a pat on the head or a hug, or something more meaningful, as a reward.” Gigavolt uses her zap tap to trip me and Spike, making us fall on our butts, dood. “Now, Fusion Fool, be a dear and stand with your brothers, so I can get you all, I can get that weakling Mr. K easily afterwords.” she says, Spike goes up to try and punch her only to do no damage, “I don't think dragon brats can hurt a demon pony of lv. 3000, but with a push of my hooves into your skull, I can kill you.” Spike backs away for a moment, “Good move, kid.” I walk up to the mean, mean, mare, defeated. Spike, looks to his side to see Twilight running near us, drugged friends, behind her, this gives him a idea. “Hey Twilight, order the girls, tell them to charge Gigavolt.” Twilight hears this and start running in Gigavolt's direction, “Girls, charge the green unicorn and tie her up.” Twilight yells, she then makes a sharp turn to find a hiding spot, while the girls go from bedroom eyes to beastly aggressive eyes, Rainbow Dash effectively smashing into Gigavolt, hooves first, with the girls smashing into her, I still can't believe I just saw Fluttershy do a elbow drop to Gigavolt's Abdomen, dood, and Applejack comes in with some rope, tying the demon up around her midsection with her forelimbs caught under the rope, “Whats the point of tying a unicorn up if I can magic myself out of this?” Gigavolt asks, Twilight pokes her head out of a bush she was hiding in to use her magic to keep the demon pony from casting anything, a impressive feat, dood. “Hah, I got her, now Twilight will reward me!” says the brainwashed pegasus, dood. “Um, I think my technique got her, Rainbow, but I guess if you want, I just want my chance at Twi, too.” Fluttershy mumbled, dood. Applejack starts getting annoyed, dood. “My rope, my win, now where are ya, Twi?” Rarity pushes Applejack to the side. “Come now, dear. I won this. Twilight is mine.” They all start to argue on who Twilight should reward and who should have her, basic brainwashed shipping thing, dood, Pinkie pops up with Twilight in her front hooves, saying “Twilight is mine, I win the brainwashed love game, is Twilight my prize?” she says, all the other giving her death glares, and THE stare from Fluttershy, Pinkie blissfully ignores them all, “What is the antidote, Gigavolt, or I tell these girls to do something drastic.” Twilight threatens, trying to get herself out of Pinkie's grip, dood. Gigavolt gave Twilight a look that screams you can't do sh*t, dood. “I think whatever they have planned for you is worse then what you can tell them to do to me.” she says, dood. Twilight gives her a mean smirk, dood. “Rainbow, can you get me a Ursa Minor?” "You got it!” the cyan pegasus says, as she zooms into the forest, dood. “Pinkie get me the punch from the party, she gives Twilight a salute with her left hoof, letting Twilight go in the process, running back into Sugarcube Corner. Tthe rest of you, guard Gigavolt.” the remaining ponies in the group stare Gigavolt down, the Stare crippling the demon mare very well, dood. After a brief explanation on the potion, Twilight sighed and gave the girls a pat on the head, knowing full well that she'll have to do the same thing for Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. With that said, dood, Pinkie comes back with the punch, Twilight rewards her with a pat on the head before Rainbow Dash comes back with a Ursa Minor chasing her. Twilight uses her magic to gag Gigavolt and feed the punch to the Ursa, all the prinnies and ponies get away from the green unicorn as Twilight uses her magic to make the giant bear look at Gigavolt, the poor mare's eyes go wide as the bear walks to her and hugs her, causing the unicorn to gasp for breath. Twilight levitates the mare out of the Ursa grip, removes the gag but also lowering the volume of Gigavolt's voice so she doesn't order the Ursa to attack, “How do you reverse this?” she orders. “Poison Joke, poison joke is the cure, make a tea out of it and that will cure it.” Gigavolt replied, glaring at the giant purple bear, dood. Twilight tells us prinnies to go get the poison joke, after a short trip to Everfree Forest, Twilight brews the prankster plant and feeds it to her friends and the Ursa. “Did any pony else had a dream where Twilight was just the best pony ever?" Pinkie asked, dood. All the other ponies groan in agreement, they just can't take the truth, dood. “Must have been a dream, since the best pony is me.” Rainbow Dash exclaims, dood. Twilight asks Fluttershy to talk to the Ursa and get Rainbow Dash to say sorry, After the Ursa leaves, all that was left to deal with was the handicapped Gigavolt. “Go back home, Gigavolt, you lose again.” Twilight orders, dood. “Very well, I am at a disadvantage at this time, but I will return, and I will try and get Valvatorez's approval to use any means to return the prinnies to Hades, that also means, by your destruction.” Twilight's ward over Gigavolt's magic gone, she teleports out of Equestria, dood. Twilight falls to the ground passed out. “What in the hey happened?” Applejack asked. “She had a long night, and I think she has done enough running to last her the year, dood.” I say, as we prinnies go to lift Twilight, and us and Spike leave to take Twilight to bed. Eventually all these failures will get Valvatorez to get us, and when that day comes, we were ready since chapter 2, dood. Next Chapter! Valvatorez: The Want It, Need It spell causes havoc across the Netherworld. Twilight Sparkle: What? No Fusion Fool doing this? After what just happened, I don't think I can take more of this 'shipping' thing. Valvatorez: Sardines, or pilchards, are several types of small, oily fish related to herrings, family Clupeidae. The term sardine was first used in English during the early 15th century, and may come from the Mediterranean island of Sardinia, around which sardines were once abundant. Twilight Sparkle: What? Valvatorez: The terms sardine and pilchard are not precise, and what is meant depends on the region. The United Kingdom's Sea Fish Industry Authority, for example, classifies sardines as young pilchards. One criterion suggests fish shorter in length than 6 inches (15 cm) are sardines, and larger ones pilchards. The FAO/WHO Codex standard for canned sardines cites 21 species that may be classed as sardines; FishBase, a comprehensive database of information about fish, calls at least six species "pilchard", over a dozen just "sardine", and many more with the two basic names qualified by various adjectives. Fusion Fool: Oh no, he is talking about sardines again, dood. Applejack: Two can play this game. The apple is the pomaceous fruit of the apple tree, species Malus domestica in the rose family (Rosaceae). It is one of the most widely cultivated tree fruits, and the most widely known of the many members of genus Malus that are used by humans and ponies. Apples grow on small, deciduous trees. The tree originated in Western Neighsia or Asia for the human world, where its wild ancestor, Malus sieversii, is still found today. Apples have been grown for thousands of years in Asia(Neighsia) and Europe(Unicornia), and were brought to North America(Equestria) by European colonists(Apple Family). Apples have been present in the mythology and religions of many cultures, including Norse, Greek and Christian traditions. In 2010, the fruit's genome was decoded, leading to new understandings of disease control and selective breeding in apple production. Valvatorez: I didn't know that about apples, but are they rich in Vitamin B12, phosphorus, calcium, potassium, and some trace minerals like iron and selenium, and Omega-3 fatty acids? And did you know they are a good source of vitamin D, calcium, and protein? Applejack: Not at all, but they have Vitamin A, Thiamine (vit. B1), Riboflavin (vit. B2), Niacin (vit. B3), Pantothenic acid (B5), Vitamin B6, Folate (vit. B9), Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium, and Zinc. may also help with heart disease, weight loss, and controlling cholesterol. Twilight: Don't the seeds of a apple have mild poison? Applejack: they do, but not very effective to ponies or humans, but birds tend to stay away, it's just important to eat them in moderation. Valvatorez: With the exception of Sardines, it should be common knowledge to enjoy your favorite food in moderation, but sardines must be enjoyed all the time, and at every chance you get. Twilight Sparkle: True shame that ponies are herbivores, and don't eat meat like sardines. Valvatorez: YOU POOR CREATURES! I'd like to thank copy and paste for their usefulness in this chapter, I also want to thank Wikipedia for the apple and sardine facts, dood. Parties, and awkward birds and bees, dood.How about that, dood, I FINALLY updated, I am such a bad author. ~dood~[/hr] Gigavolt seemed steamed when we saw her roaming Ponyville. We all know she is plotting something; as she has a tendency to go to the restaurant, eat and scheme, then leave without paying, teleporting out of there before anyone notices, dood. Me and the other Prinnies continue our chores, dood, for our apples, sardines, and bits. As we cleaned, Super Pal found a book in the corner, dood; evidently it was a spell book, in which we gave to Twilight since that’s her field. She learned the ability to multiply herself by up to three copies, she also made water out of thin air, and a spell that alters the voice patterns of a pony, don’t see how that would be useful unless you were a spy, dood. Yesterday, Gigavolt approached Twilight. We were expecting a fight, but all Gigavolt asked was “May I have the prinnies?” in a calm voice. Of course Twilight said no, causing Gigavolt to facehoof and walked away, mumbling something about why she thought that would work, dood. I think she made a small repair shop on the edge of town seeing as she’ll be here until we go back to Hades, and since she tried to kill everypony at least once each, not too many ponies would touch her with a thirty foot pole, dood. I think Pinkie tried to gather ponies for a “Welcome to Ponyville, Gigavolt” Party, which is pretty much the same as pulling the teeth of everything that lives in Ponyville now, including Gigavolt since she doesn’t like anypony, dood. Three hours before the party, Twilight and her friends went on ahead to get Gigavolt and search her for any tricks like the love potion that was used, or anything else, while we, the prinnies, went around the party itself to, tending to the guests. Everypony was on edge, praying to their goddess that lived around forty-five kilometers away that Gigavolt won’t zap them, dood. The seven girls came in, with Gigavolt following Twilight in. “So you are using the prinnies, what are you paying them?” Gigavolt asked. Twilight glared at the green demon. “I pay them what they deserve.” Gigavolt gave the best pony a confused look, dood. “A sardine every twenty hours?” Twilight shook her head. “No, a apple, a cupcake, a sardine, and some bits for eight hours of work.” Gigavolt looked surprise, “You still know they are criminals from other worlds, right? They are lucky to have a sardine every twenty hours, that’s what they are paid, the money they earn is put into a savings account that should only be used when the prinny is ready to reincarnate.” Gigavolt explained dood “And furthermore, if Valvatorez finds out you have been overpaying them, he will-ack!” Gigavolt was dragged off by Pinkie Pie to greet every. Single. Pony. In. Ponyville. Dood. Me and the others laughed as Gigavolt was forced to introduce herself to everypony in town and apologize for trying to kill them for a bunch demonic penguins, we are rather shocked on how forgiving they were for something so dire, the party itself went rather well, Pinkie forced our demonic friend to dance, and be merry, Demon Ponies shouldn’t be merry, dood. She had fun, managed to not burn our eyes with dance skills that no pony will understand. In the end, we still had fun, Gigavolt even said she’ll take a hiatus on trying to drag us back to Hades, and when she does go back to her old ways, she Pinkie Pie swore not to try to kill any pony in the process, I doubt she knows the meaning behind how sacred a Pinkie Promise is the party pony, dood. The next morning, Gigavolt was in the library, saying something about catching up on the times, dood. Rainbow Dash still doesn’t like her too much, neither does anypony else that isn’t a walking pink sugar-high, dood, to be honest, I think Twilight and Fluttershy try to be friends with her, as much as they don’t want to be friends with somepony that wanted them dead for several chapters. ~dood~[/hr] Twilight searched Ponyville for her friends, Big Macintosh claims that Applejack went into town an hour ago; Carousel Boutique was empty, which is strange in itself; the Cakes said that Pinkie left a little while ago too; Fluttershy wasn’t at her cottage, Rainbow Dash wasn’t practicing over her usual air space; what was wrong with the world Twilight thought. ‘Where is everypony’ she thought, as she walked to her library home. She opened the door. It was too dark for her liking, so she turned on a light and used her telekinesis to grab a book from one of the many bookshelves. As she entered her own bed room, she saw something rather peculiar: a sizable cloth covering her floor with a golden pail with a bottle of champagne inside, a very odd thing. She approached the oddity in her room, when five shadows came upon her, grappling her some fighting among each other to see who is first- ~dood~[/hr] “And then they fucked, dood.” I said “Are you serious? First you drag me over here to help you write a story, told that you were going to write a clopfic, then you cockblock your readers with THAT?” Gigavolt said steamed that I wasted her time, dood. “I’m not good at clopfics, dood.” I said like a boss, dood. Gigavolt sighs as a knock comes to the Library door, “I got it, dood!” Super Pal yells out to everyone within hearing distance. “Sweet Celestia fucking Twilight, dood, it’s HERE!” he says, me and Gigavolt both hope he suddenly explodes for saying the dumbest thing ever, Meanwhile in Canterlot Celestia and Luna were reading in their study when an odd curse is heard, Celestia groans “I wish ponies will stop cursing my name already.” Luna giggled as Celestia levitated a bit into an overflowing jar of bits with her name on it, next to it was a jar with Luna’s name on it, with possible twenty-five bits in it. “So, you were doing what to your student, sister?” Luna asked in a confused and worried tone. “I don’t know, my dear sister, and thankfully, I don’t wish to know.” Celestia groaned, looking like she had a headache. Back in Twilight’s Library “The Princess doing ’what’ to me?” Twilight asked Super Pal who was holding on to a package with his flippers. “My story came in, dood, ordered it from straight from Earth; it’s rather hard to get a package that has to come here from two dimensions, dood.” Super Pal answered with pride. “That doesn’t answer my question.” Twilight groaned, dood. Super Pal was sweating bullets/ “Heh, slip of the tongue, dood?” “Slip of the tongue is usually a single word, not a phrase.” Gigavolt said; Super Pal looked like he was going to explode where he stood. “What package?” I asked, possibly saving Super Pal’s life. “My clopfic is here, ‘Rainbows over the Horizon’; it’ll be so awesome, dood.” He said jumping for joy; Gigavolt was confused, as were the rest of us in the room. “Prinnies don’t have sexual organs; they don’t even have rectums, for crying out loud.” Gigavolt piped up, a sigh coming from me. “Then why do I always feel pain in my butt when I wake up hung over, and some demon is all happy holding on to me with a strap-on or otherwise, dood?” he asked. He got Gigavolt to facehoof, “They probably opened a hole between the stitching where the white of your suit meets the purple, thus literally making you a new hole.” I don’t know when Lady Sparkle got Super Pal’s package, but she was reading it… “Please, Dash, don’t stop.” Twilight said. "As Rainbow Dash continued to lick her lover’s horn, the unicorn’s hooves were holding her Pegasus by her thighs as she pulled the athlete down on to her-" Twilight turned to Super Pal with a blank face. “What did I just read?” Twilight said, dood. “It’s a clopfic, dood.” Super Pal said, “You know how rare it is to get a good Futalight Sparkle Fic? You got to pay millions of Hel to even find the site that has one on it, too much Futashy, dood.” Super Pal said with a smug tone, I turned to see Gigavolt’s eye twitching, Twilight looked like her brain was trying to process the information then dump that same information into the trash, dood. “Super Pal, I want to hit you so hard right now.” Gigavolt says holding her face with her hoof again; she looks up with a puzzled expression, levitates a book with her electric telekinesis, and then hurls it at Super Pal’s face, dood. “Ouch, dood, why did you do that, dood?” he asked. “Because I remembered the fact that I am a demon, so why waste such an opportunity to do so, as well, why bring a clopfic into a land of happiness and sickeningly sweet ponies?” She was so mad, she flipped a table in the kitchen with her magic to make a point, too bad Master Cupcakes was hit by it, dood. “Fusion Fool was writing a clopfic moments ago, dood.” He said in his defense. “Fusion Fool couldn’t write a clopfic if two ponies were doing it right in front of him, and his life depended on it.” Gigavolt rebuked, dood. “So a clopfic is a story about two ponies mating?” Twilight asked, still holding her shocked expression. “Yea, usually involving ponies that have been given names and faces; such as yourself, your friends, your enemies, and the miscellaneous ponies of Ponyville.” Gigavolt answered, dood. “I’m going to go lie down, now, please, make sure that no pony enters my room, not even by window.” Twilight says, slowly making her way to her room, still dazed, dood. “That went well, dood.” I say Next Episode! Fusion Fool: Lightning clashes with the Earth, dood. Twilight: Not one of these. Fusion Fool: The fair Fluttershy is trapped in the Castle of hatred and other mean things, dood. Fluttershy: Oh my, Twilight: Oh great, what now? Fusion Fool: But then the brave Knight; Twilight Sparkle comes in on her most faithful steed, Celestia, dood. Celestia: I'm sorry, What? Twilight: WHY AM I RIDING THE PRINCESS? Fusion Fool: Only one obstacle is in her way, a knight in rainbow armor, dood. Rainbow Dash: Sounds like a cool knight. Fusion Fool: Can Twilight defeat the Spectrum Destroyer and save the Fair Fluttershy from marrying the evil Count Blueblood, dood? Twilight: So I am going to fight Rainbow Dash, while riding on Princess Celestia, to save Fluttershy from marrying Prince Blueblood. Rainbow Dash: Why am I blocking Twilight's way if I am the only thing stopping Fluttershy from marrying a jerk? Celestia: I would still like to know why I am my student's steed. Fusion Fool: Final Episode: Twishy, the Musical. A epic battle that will take place, and only the best will walk away, dood. Twilight: A musical? Never mind, hey Fusion Fool. Fusion Fool: Yeah, dood? Twilight: When are you going to correct all the mistakes your readers are finding for you in the previous chapters? Fusion Fool: (Silence) Laharl: You told me I was going to be in this chapter, whats the big deal? Fusion Fool: Oh crap, I forgot about you, dood. Laharl: How DARE you forget about me, I will kill you, bring you back to life, and kill you again, and so on, untill you remember who your master is. Fusion Fool: OH SHIT, DOOD! Twilight: Why am I almost glad he didn't show up, I don't think the Elements of Harmony would have worked on him. ~dood~[/hr] Twilight's quip about me not fixing my chapters is pretty much me not flipping you off, but to let you guys know how lazy I am about that stuff, dood. So, I will apologies for making you guys believe that I wasted your time checking for those things. EDIT:(07/11/2012) I fixed all my chapters compared to what everyone have seen, dood! Wrong Crossover and new Spells, Dood.Can you guess the new added crossover, dood? (retarded laughing) ~dood~[/hr] So I and Mr. K was sent to assist Rarity this time, dood. She was killing eardrums over not finding the gems that would go perfect for this dress for Pinkie Pie, she wants several colored gems; a red, a green, yellow, blue, and purple, at least two of each to make the pattern perfect, dood. Last I checked, Twilight was still reading that weird book we found behind a book shelf so she was busy, dood. Sweetie Belle comes in with a lot more of these round gems than we needed, but Rarity was beaming, dood. “Thank you Sweetie Belle, you are indeed the best sister I could ask for.” Rarity complemented, though while Sweetie was all prideful of her accomplishment, I think there might be a problem with these gems, oh well dood. Shortly after assisting Rarity by being pin cushions or handing her material while she could have used magic, weirdo dood, we want to watch Rainbow Dash do tricks. I don’t understand what the deal is which watching a pegasus flies around doing barrel rolls, loops, and stalls. It’s like watching a bird fly around without all the needless stunts, dood. She still got a standing ovation, so I guess these ponies enjoy watching a pony fly around in circles, I can’t fly very well and I die easily so I guess I can’t really be amazed by a few aerial tricks, dood. The other prinnies enjoyed though so I guess I can’t judge too much. I was now directed to Sugarcube Corner, Mr. K went back to the library with a trail of sweat following him, since we lack a bladder, or a rectum for that matter, dood. So now I am helping Pinkie. “Hiya Fusiony, are you ready?” The party pony asked me. I go “sure, dood, what’s first?” I think my brain went out to lunch dood, cause Pinkie said every ingredient for angel food cake in half a second. “I’m sorry, dood, can you repeat all that in slow-mo?” I ask the party mare. “Didn’t you hear me the first time? We need that package of angel cake mix, 2 cups of heavy whipping cream, 2 tablespoons of confectioner’s sugar. 2 tablespoons of unsweetened cocoa powder, and 2 pints of fresh strawberries, each strawberry must be halved.” Pinkie explained. “OK dood” I acknowledge gather all of ingredients and cutting the strawberries. I pick up the Cake mix packaging for Duncan Hoof Angel Food Cake Mix, dood. “Let’s see, we need to-“Oven is already prepared to 350 degrees Fahrenheit,” the baker interrupted, I look at the package again. “Blend the mix and one and half cups of water in large bowl at low speed until moistened, beat at medium speed for one minute, this warns us in ROYAL LETTERING not to OVER BEAT the mixture. Pour into a 10-inch tube pan, dood.” I look up to see that Pinkie finished all that already. “What’s next?” she asks. “Bake for 38-48 minutes, we may need to check on it around that time, dood. The cake is down when the top is golden brown and cracked, it should look very dry and warm to the touch, again it warns us not to UNDER BAKE in ROYAL LETTERS, hang pan upside down on heat-proof glass bottle until completely cool, after a hour and half, loosen the edges carefully, wait up dood, what do they mean by ‘heat-proof glass bottle’ dood?” I ask and Pinkie shrugs. “Probably a bad typo, since I just use a glass cutting board, anyways it’s done!” Pinkie said. I turn around to see that a process that normally takes 2 or more hours was done in 3 minutes, dood. “Um, OK moving on, dood.” I say before I get creeped out any more. Slice angel food cake in half horizontally. Create a tunnel for the filling by removing a small amount of the interior of the bottom half of the cake, dood.” I finish only hearing a loud “DONE” right next to me. “In a bowl, combine the cream, confectioner’s sugar, and cocoa; whip until soft peaks form. Fold strawberry halves into whipping cream; spoon the cream mixture into cake tunnel, press down firmly, dood.” I look to see Pinkie is done already, smiling like a creeper. “Replace top of cake; pressing gently, use remaining cream mixture to frost the cake, and decorate with any remaining strawberries, dood. Chill for 15 minutes before slicing.” I look to Pinkie only to see that she is not only done, but she is eating it. “Wasn’t that for the party today, dood?” Pinkie chuckles “oh silly, we are going to make 5 more!” Oh great, baking, dood. After that mess, I headed to help Fluttershy when Gigavolt lifted me with her magic, “Alright you, little piece of Rifle Demon shit, where is my materia?” I looked at her with confusion and in fear, dood. “Materia is from Final Fantasy, dood. This is a Disgaea crossover with My Little Pony, why are we adding more to this?” Gigavolt dropped me then zapped me with her Zap Tap attack dood. “Because, now that I am not trying to drag five idiots to Hades, I now have time to figure some things out, such as the material I got one of the thieves to smuggle out of Square Enix, now shut up, and tell me where you and your moronic friends hide them?” If her element wasn’t electricity, I’d swear she was breathing fire, dood. We later heard a loud explosion coming from the Boutique, “So that’s where they are.” The evil unicorn said as she ran towards the large amount of smoke. “Oh shit, dood.” I saw, following her. “Great, someone used my Ice materia.” Gigavolt said as she gazes upon a big ice sculpture that was once the Carousel Boutique. Rarity was in tears on a luxurious sofa, with Spike comforting her and the other prinnies trying to melt the ice by using torches. “What in the hay happened here?” Twilight asked as she gets closer, dood. “No clue sugarcube. One moment it was fine, the next it was incased in ice.” Said Applejack in the world’s best rendering of her southern accent. “I’ll go get something, maybe some hot rain.” Rainbow claimed, rushing off. Gigavolt walked up to the store/sculpture put a bracelet on and said “Fire” and the Boutique was now on fire for 3 seconds before the ice finished melting and it’s all back to normal. why are we adding more to this? “So, has anypony seen some small round stones, looks great to attach to clothing or accessories?” Gigavolt asked. Sweetie Belle raised her hoof. “I found them in an open box near your garbage, Miss Gigavolt.” Gigavolt looked stupefied, “I’m going to kill Sucker Punch the next time I see her. Oh right, Sweetie Belle? Can you lead me to where they are now?” Sweetie nodded and led the demon pony in to find her stolen material. The town was relieved that the trouble is over, though Twilight looked useless and it was clear to see that bothered her, dood. She and Fluttershy helped Rarity back into her shop, which was strangely in mint-condition. Gigavolt came back down a set of stairs with a box of jewels in it, “Hey, those are mine, why are you stealing them?” Rarity ordered. Gigavolt looked back to the fashionista. “They originally belonged to me, and these jewels were the cause of this mess, so I figured you’d thank me for getting rid of them.” And with that Gigavolt was heading back to her machine shop at the edge of town. “How rude” Rarity said, as she tries to find her place in her work again, dood. “Well she did save your boutique, I’m sure she meant well.” Twilight said, “but what’s with those stones?” Super Pal does the stupidest thing ever in… Three... Two... One... “Gigavolt stole materia from a different world called “The Planet”, dood. Why she wants them is unknown, materia is a item created by the lifestream in the other world, this allows anyone to casts spells, they are divided into fivw categories by color; Red is summoning magic, allowing those wielding it to summon dragons, meteors, gods, and other nasty monsters to fight by their side. Blue material is a support material that makes other material stronger like granting the ability to absorb magic or to steal life from enemies, dood. Green is the most common and is called Magic Materia, these guys allow people to cast fire, ice and fire based spells, similar to how the boutique became a storcicle. Yellow is command material, granting strategic changes to one’s basic commands, such as the ability to throw items at the enemy, learn enemy skills, steal items from enemies, or instantly kills foes, dood.” All the ponies in the room cringed at the Deathblow effect, but the moron continued. “Purple material is independent materia, these guys are designed to amplify other-other stuff like how much money you get from beating up monsters, bonuses to statistics, dood.” My eyes grow wide. ‘Crazy green unicorn plus Magic Plus Materia plus Luck Plus Materia plus Master Summons Materia equal No Resistance. Good god, dood.’ I stammer for a bit, dood. “I think we should be careful with the materia Gigavolt has at the moment, Mr. K you go try to steal what you can so we have a fighting chance. GET THE MASTER SUMMON MATERIA, or any other big league summons, like Bahamut or Knights, they are the red stones, as for anything else, grab purple magic and speed materia, any green material that translates to pain for us, like Ultima, or Comet. Leave the rest alone, got it dood?” I commanded, Mr. K gave me a salute and rushed to Gigavolt’s machine shop. “So objects from another dimension are bad, right?” Twilight asked. “In her hooves, they are dood.” I reiterate. With all the stupidity out of the way, and the back of my flipper greeting Super Pal for boring all of you with the Materia explanation. I continued my chores, and headed for Fluttershy’s cottage to help with a new family of squirrels. Rainbow Dash flew past us with a rain cloud, dood, notice us on her way back to the boutique, “Why are you guys leaving the Boutique? Is it still all frozen?” the cyan pegasus asked. “We cleared it up, dood. What happened to ’10 seconds flat’?” I taunted, the speedster didn’t like that one since she made the cloud she was going to use to save Rarity, rain on top of me, dood. As Rainbow Dashed rained on my parade, I reached Fluttershy’ cottage, and she still isn’t here, must still be at Rarity’s place, dood. So I sit on my butt, pull out my Slaystation Portable and play Pony Fantasy six. So in the middle of getting Firefly’s ship for Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy appears to finally give me some direction, dood. Me and Fluttershy went to distribute food to the various squirrel families to prepare for winter, I don’t know why they don’t do that themselves like the ones on earth, dood. At least these ones don’t have to worry about BB guns, dood. One of the little pricks bit me in the peg leg (it may be made of wood, but I still feel it, dood), and I was just mildly annoyed the whole day, Fluttershy did try to cheer me up with some tea though, so that wasn’t too bad, dood. I told her that Mr. K would come by next week to assist her if she needs it, and she said “Thank you, Mr. Fusion Fool.” I was between acting serious for the sake of it and saying “D’AAWWWW” but I kept myself stable, and I headed home, dood. When I entered the library; I was greeted with a bizarre show. Lady Sparkle was in a debate with three other clones of herself, dood. They seem to be surrounding a pile of orbs, meaning Mr. K’s mission was a success, and now the four copies of Twilight now argued with what they should do with them, one of the Twilights spotted me. “Hey Fusion Fool, check out this new spell I learned, excuse me girls I will return.” The Twilight addressing me got up and left the other three to argue some more. She went up to the balcony and BREATHED PURPLE FIRE, DOOD! “It’s a Dragon’s Fire spell from that book we found a while ago, I’m still learning this one called ‘Haste’, and this other one called ‘Stargazer’, so give me time, and I’ll be able to cast that, probably in two days, depends on the star spell. She went down and rejoined the group of Twilights in the main room. I don’t know what came first, dood, me shitting bricks, or me fainting. All I know is that both happened. Next Episode! Fusion Fool: A horrible event has occurred, Trixie is now princess of Equestria, dood. G&P Trixie: How is that bad? Twilight: How did she in the first place? Fusion Fool: Through the dark arts, Trixie has enslaved all ponies and have taken the fair Fluttershy hostage, dood. Fluttershy: Oh my. Fusion Fool: But not hope is all lost, dood! For Treasure Hunter Daring Do and the Knight Gilda have a plan to resuce the kingdom! Twilight: Hey, I'm not fodder for this, later. Daring Do: What am I doing now? Gilda: Why am I helping a nation of wimps? Fusion Fool: The Great and Powerful Army is too mighty for the two so they must recall a ancient hero from time's past. Twilight: Spoke to soon. Fusion Fool: The mare long said to destroy armies with a cast of a simple magic missile, she who said to cast the darkness out of the corners of Equestria, THE LEGENDARY TWILIGHT SPARKLE, dood. Twilight: Darn it. Daring Do: And I thought my stories were weird. Gilda: How is a nerd going to help us beat up a showmare? Trixie: But of course this will end in a epic bout between Trixie and Twilight Sparkle. Fusion Fool: Final Episode: The Great and Powerful Regime; The Rise of the Lavender Hero! Sit tight Fluttershy, Trixie has nothing on the Best Pony, dood. Rainbow Dash: Wait, when did I start fighting Trixie? I though Twilight was fighting her? Chocolate: Here's Chapter Two of 'Welcome to Equestria, dood" read that, for why we said it like that, dood. Applejack: Nice enough to not add me in your story. Fusion Fool: I didn't know where to put you, dood. I'm sorry. Yuffie Kisaragi: Where are my materia? Gigavolt: Piss off, Bitch. ~dood~[/hr] Next Episode segment dragged for a bit, but yea.....I am just a bad author, but I am at least trying to spell things right. I await everyone going "What the fuck is this?" and "This gave me eye cancer, dood." By the way, the angel food cake recipe me and Pinkie made is in fact a real recipe i found on a random site, Pinkie Pie Logic just made the process faster, dood. Darkness and a Ass Kicking, dood.I wanted to add another Disgaea character to the story, dood, now here he is! ~dood~[/hr] This chapter starts out in Rarity’s shop, she managed to convince the Council of Twilight to give up the materia, so now she is using them for dresses, now knowing to never let Sweetie Belle near them, thinking she can handle them better, dood. “So, why are you attaching the very things that turned the Boutique into an ice sculpture to jewelry?” Rainbow Dash asked, nudging a green orb that hung from her neck. “Ss dangerous as they may be, I am sure that we can use them safely, since we now know that to use them, we utter the command for It.” The marshmallow pony said in a dignified manner while levitating a yellow orb. “Do you know which orb does what, sugar cube?” Applejack said uneasy about the red orb that is now connected to her Stetson Hat, Rarity was about to say something but couldn’t for the life of her figure the answer out, dood. “No idea, maybe Twilight or even the prinnies know? Super Pal did explain to us what they are.” “I have no idea which each one is, dood. Only Gigavolt would know since she has a P.I.A.S.S. dood” Super Pal said, a P.I.A.S.S is an acronym for Portable. Inventory. And. Status. Screen. Basically all the menus players had access to in video games; Gigavolt can bring up in reality, dood. “ So do we borrow it from Gigavolt, or can we purchase from a secret store?” Rainbow Dash inquired, dood, I shake my head and say “Nah, Gigavolt built it herself, remember that she is great at technology, so she probably has a whole lot of machines designed for everything in her workshop, dood.” All the ponies and the prinnies that are not me sigh, dood. We head to Twilight’s library to see if she can help us, only to see a bizarre sign, there were still four Twilights, but one was a giant spider with her own webbing, big purple spider, like a black widow but replace the hourglass with Twi’s cutie mark, her head was spider-like too, but no fangs, her normal mane cut was there, and she had the eight eye’s but they seem to be reading from three books at once. There was also a human Twilight sitting on a couch across from Spider-light, tanned complexion (which is remarkable for someone that sits indoors, dood), a purple sweater vest, white shirt underneath and a purple skirt, her hair was in the same style as the original Twilight’s but more of a boring long hair thing, Lyra was sitting next to her reading with her. The final different Twilight had the same body style as Discord, her left arm was a eagle talon, right arm was a bear claw, her legs, torso and head were normal, but her eyes were different, one was yellow the other was purple, she also had a big left fang, she evidently had a bat wing and Pegasus wing on each side of her back, she was reading upside down drink a glass of chocolate milk, then chewing on the milk portion of it after finishing with the glass. The normal Twilight was in the middle of it, still her ponyself, reading the same god damn spellbook we found in Chapter eight, Spike was trying to clean up after the Spider-light Sparkle. “Hey guys, there is a spell here that can alter the shape of anything into whatever I want! I turned a glass of water into pure gold, it’s over there.” She pointed to a bar of solid gold on the counter. “This book is so amazing!” She was as happy as a clam, dood. “That’s cool dood, but can you help us with the materia? We don’t know what each one does, dood.” Mr. K says, because I finally decided to give him lines, dood. Twilight looked at it in deep thought, then looked up to the weird Twilight, “Hey Discord-Twilight, I enhanced you with deciphering, right?” The Draconequus looked down “Yup, what do you need Original-Twilight?” The weird Twilight said as she floated down to look at the green orb we held out, dood. “This one is fire.” She simply said, she went back to her spot by opening a door and reappearing through a curtain. After hearing fire; the Original Twilight panicked and teleported us out of her library, dood. “Sorry everypony, but I don’t want anything flammable in my library.” She said through the door, dood. We got up only to hear a really loud noise, sounded too familiar, dood. “What is that? It’s not bad, actually.” Rainbow Dash said, as she floated to the town square, “Why does this remind me of Trixie?” Applejack said all sour about it. Rarity just made a face as we all made our way to the town square, dood. We prinnies were a little paranoid as we have all heard this track, dood. “Welcome one and all, to the Dark Hero’s first ever show in Equestria! From Hades with love, please give a round of applause to, Axel!” said the humanoid figure on the large stage that took up one third of the entire square. He was a blonde figure with purple lightning-shaped eye brows, he wore a white long coat, with chains around both wrists, he isn’t wearing a shirt underneath his coat, which leaves us all exposed to the star stickers that are placed over each of his…I’d rather not say, dood. He wears purple pants with a chain belt similar to how he wears them around his wrists, he is currently carrying a guitar, Gigavolt is on stage looking like she is about to hurt him. “I’d like to thank Gigavolt for opening the way to Equestria; so that I, the Dark Hero and Netherworld President, Axel can give his equine fans what they deserve.” He yelled into a microphone, dood. Behind him was a pink cat demon that was half his size, it looked like a small baby human in an over sized cat suit but that’s not a costume, she had small bat wings and sharp claws, next to the cat was an angel, light blue hair, rather, celestial dress, with pure white wings, he was bleeding from the mouth, but seemed disappointed in something, dood. Axel looked our direction, and noticed us, dood. “What are prinnies doing in Equestria? You guys aren’t supposed to be here, thankfully since it’s the Dark Hero that found you, he’ll be gentle and let you all stay for his show.” He said with a smirk, I wanted to hit him, dood. “What’s this guy’s problem?” Rainbow Dash asked, now gaining the Dark Hero’s attention, “THE Rainbow Dash, doesn’t know the Dark Hero? Equestria must have been locked down good.” He said with a sad tone, the ponies were confused, “How do you know Rainbow Dash?” Rarity asked, Axel went back to being smug. “It was I and Master Emizel that that brought ‘My Little Pony’ to the Netherworld; you won’t believe how popular you girls are, especially in the human world.” He seemed to be in pure glee, “I didn’t believe the so-called ‘Pinkie Pie’ Prinnies when they said some of the ‘Twilight’ Prinnies found a way here, but when I saw Fenrich order Gigavolt into Equestria, I knew there was a way here.” It sounded like he was gloating, dood. The cat-saber walked up to meet us. “You should feel honored that Axel is a brony, meow. Or he would have killed Celestia and taken this world for himself in a heartbeat, purr," She said, the angel came up next, “Can we leave, Mister Axel? Nothing has tried to kill us yet, I thought there would be things here that would rip us limb from limb, and yet there are only colorful ponies.” The angel seemed sad about this, dood, bloody masochists. “Not to fear, Pink and Main Character B, we are here to throw the concert of a life time, then take over so that ‘My Little Pony’ becomes ‘The Dark Hero Friendship Hour’ with the popularity of the fan base, it’s full proof, now we just need to kidnap Lauren Faust and blackmail her into writing and producing the story for us, and Daniel Ingnam to help me write some catchy songs, it’ll be the best thing ever!” He yells triumphantly, dood, fully believing his idiot plan would work. “We won’t let ya take over Equestria, even if it is for fans.” Applejack stood her ground defiantly, against Axel and his entourage. They laughed dood. “Please, you’re just the farm pony. All you can do is kick things, work and tell the truth, I’ll be worried when Pinkie Pie goes up against me.” As if called upon Pinkie materialized on stage playing the first minute of a mind-bending song; all on a triangle, dood. “Damn, she has some moves, but you guys still don’t have the elements of harmony, Fluttershy, or Twilight, so you can’t stop me.” He said in a very ‘Trixie’ way, dood. He turned and went back up to his stage to meet Pinkie, when from the corner of my eye, I catch the head of Discord Twilight whispering something into Applejack’s ear, a grin came across her face as she said, “Ultimate End.” The ground came loose as Axel, Pink, and Main Character B fell in, they were suddenly attacked by a knight that wielded a buster blade, the second knight struck with a lance, the third casted a powerful fire spell, the fourth flattened them with a mace, the fifth used a long sword, the sixth knight attacked with a hammer, the seventh knight brought the pain with a blizzard spell, the eighth knight slashed by them with a trident, the ninth casts a comet spell, the tenth knight attacked with a naginata, the eleventh brought the hurt with a battle axe, the twelfth decided to be boring by attacking with a simple sword, the thirteenth knight, King ‘mother-fucking’ Arthur, pimped slapped some demons with Excalibur, as the sky cleared up and brought the unfortunate victims back to Equestria, dood. (forgive my use to language for that one, dood.) Axel looked up in fear at Applejack, who was smiling after that scene of awesomeness, a earth pony summoned the Knights of the Round Table, who would have known, dood? “When did you guys get materia?” Axel asked, only to have his face kiss dirt again, as Gigavolt stood on top of his head. “So you stole my materia.” She hopped off Axel’s head and walked up to us, “Give them back.” She sounded pissed, dood. “What if you decide to attack Equestria with these things, you saw what AJ did, and these things could do a lot of damage.” Rainbow Dash yelled, into Gigavolt’s face. Gigavolt maintained her posture as she huffed, “Those things are not toys, and I merely wish to study them, I don’t get a lot of chances at seeing materia due to inter-dimensional travel being a bitch.” We heard some ponies gasp at Gigavolt’s language, dood. “So what, we are keeping them, and that’s that.” Rainbow turned and crossed her hooves. Gigavolt shook her head. “Why am I even asking nicely anymore?” she asked herself as she activated her horn, dood. She forced each materia out of their spot and into a bag she conveniently had on her at the time, dood, the ponies were not amused by this. Gigavolt did the usual annoyed huff thing and walked back to her shop, she at least had the curtesy of levitating Axel and his two friends off the ground, the angel looked like he had the best night of his life, dood, eww. We return to Twilight’s library, to find that it is back to normal, no strange Twilights everywhere, but the one Twilight we all knew was asleep on the ground. Me, Super Pal, and Mr. K help Lady Sparkle to her bed after saying our good bye to Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity. Master Cupcake was apparently in the kitchen all day making snacks for Twilight, her clones, Spike, and himself. Chocolate returned from Fluttershy’s place, and we all sat down to some sardine soup, we joked a bit, spoke of our day, Cupcake and Chocolate cringed when they heard Axel was in town, dood. “Man, I miss all the fun stuff, I was at Fluttershy’s place tending to a wounded Ursa Minor, dood. That’s not very fun.” Chocolate complained. Master Cupcake just shrugged, “at least I had a somewhat quiet day, even with four Twilights, and nothing too bad happened, dood.” We all try to raise a brow, since we lack one, dood “Well, after she multiplied herself and changed their form, they all pretty much read, except for Human-Light, who was also answering questions for Lyra, dood. Anyways, apparently Twilight tried another spell and it opened a path to another world, she poked her head inside and brought out that sword, dood.” We all look towards a big ass sword, it looked like was big even for a demon, gold coloring, that looked rather flat and plain if not for the fact that not only it hooked at the end, dood, it also had a disk floating in it with a fist etched to it. “Well, that’s all for tonight, dood. I can’t stand this madness, dood.” I got up and went to bed, the others trailing behind me. ~dood~[/hr] Next Episode! Fusion Fool: There is a legend in Equestria, dood. Pinkie Pie: Oh boy, who does Twilight save this time? Fusion Fool: They say that a pony that manages to win the heart of the lavender princess will rule Equestria forever, dood. Twilight: Not this. Fusion Fool: Five nations are in a bitter battle to obtain the princess' hoof, only one can win, dood. Rainbow Dash: What with all this 'shipping' as you call it. Master Cupcake: It's one of the many things we do as bronies, though it isn't limited to just that, dood. Fusion Fool: Smaller nations and freedom fighters all now compete against the five nations for the princess, dood. Pinkie Pie: Wait, there is more then five? Who are they? Super Pal: Guys that ship Miss Twilight with Luna, Trixie, Cheerilee, Celestia, Spitfire, and others, dood. Fusion Fool: Next Episode: The Tower of Magic! Princess Twilight is the true heir of Equestria, and only one can rule beside her, dood! Twilight: I don't want to rule, I'd rather read and learn. Celestia: Spoil sport. ~dood~[/hr] this was suppose to be the final chapter, dood, but I forgot how I was going to end this story, now it just looks like I'm milking it, dood. Thank you for reading, and bonus points to who ever can figure out what that sword is at the end of the story, even with my poor description skills. Gigavolt and the Blank Village, dood.So this story wasn't completely given up to fuel some weird ass Clopfic, dood. I am only working on it cause I am a perfectionist, and even half-ass clopfics require me to work on them until they are enjoyed by all that would enjoy a clopfic from time to time, dood. Anyways, PRINNIES, DOOD! ~dood~[/hr] Lately Gigavolt has been pretty pissed off lately; she was visited by a zombie few days ago, and the light show at her place was neat, but was depressing to see the demon pony drag a trash bag out of her home, dood. The next day, she was called to fix some stuff at the hospital, only to be attacked by that really weird barking pony, dood. The doctors yelled at her for shocking her into a coma. In fact, yesterday; Gigavolt went to do a maintenance check at the train, she was accused of stealing the conductor’s sandwich; she proved her innocence by locating his sandwich and turning it to ash in front of him, dood. She was not having a good time here, dood. I don’t think it was a good idea to start a food fight in the Sugarcube Corner, just as she walked in to grab a snack, dood. She was messed up by a cake hitting her in the face, dood; funny as hell until she started to shock every patron and worker with a weak electrical bolt, then storming back home, dood. Me, Pinkie, and Super Pal ran to the library to address this problem with Twilight, dood; probably she is the problem solver when it comes to things that may eventually end with Equestria getting the shit beaten out of it, dood. “Hey Twilight, I think that Meany McHellfirepants is becoming grumpy, since she shocked everypony and prinny in Sugarcube Corner today because someone threw a cake at her, I think it was Fusion Fool.” Pinkie said; I turn to her all wide-eyed, dood. “You nuts? It was Super Pal, dood. He was aiming for her head.” I said to protect my well-being, dood. “Nu-uh, dood. Totally you, you saw your chance to hit Gigavolt for making you clean that airship she built because you got drunk and keyed it.” Super Pal said, taking a few steps back. Twilight sighed and closed her newest book. “Ok, let’s settle down; first off, why was anypony throwing cakes around in the first place? And second, what’s this about an airship?” she asked, looking to us three, dood. “Someone threw a muffin at Pinkie and she yelled out food fight and we all started throwing food around, and the airship is pretty much Gigavolt’s favorite child; she built it like 100 years ago, I heard it took her 20 years to complete it.” I continue, “I’m just glad she didn’t bring that thing into Equestria, it’s no Yoshitsune, Metal gear LEX, or Super Robo Suit but it is pretty dangerous with all the electrical cannons she put on it, and the nuke she hides somewhere on it, dood.” Me and Super Pal cringe when we remember that monster’s maiden voyage, it’s small but it proved it had enough firepower to turn half a netherworld to ash, dood. “If it makes you all better, I’ll go talk to her about her anger problems.” Twilight said, dood; making us three breathe a sigh of relief, we then watch her walk out her door and head to Gigavolt’s workshop. Super Pal departed to help Chocolate and Mr. K with Applejack’s harvest, so it was left to me and Pinkie Pie to go and spy on Twilight to make sure Gigavolt doesn’t fry her like that sandwich I mentioned earlier. We immediately notice that Gigavolt’s workshop, with is pretty much a big ass wooden shed shaped like a house with no windows and a neon sign on the top; it looks like her cutie mark, dood. We look around for some way to see inside, until Pinkie grabbed an old fashion drill from a tree and made some holes in the side of her house, we peered in to see that Gigavolt’s house is a mess, machinery and gadgets everywhere, it’s like Rarity’s workshop but with machine parts and technological stuff instead of fabrics and sewing materials, dood. We keep looking within to see Twilight trying not to step on anything as Gigavolt leads her to a guard rail in the middle of the room, Twilight looked confused that there is a guard rail in the a place it shouldn’t be until GIgavolt hit a button, and the two descend below ground, causing me to rage, I turn to find Pinkie; only to see that she snuck in through the front door, I had to follow her, dood. We got in and this place is in worse condition than what we thought, dood; nothing leaking on to the ground at least, but still this is a sty. We go over to where we assumed where they stood before they took the weird ass elevator Gigavolt had in her place, the shutter was blocking us and we couldn’t drill out way in, so we had to press our ear (her ear and the side of my head where I figured my ear was, dood) to the shutter to try and hear what was going on. “I gotta say, this room looks fantastic.” We heard Twilight say. “My workshop may be in organized chaos at this time, but I’m not going to sleep in it, that’s why I made a basement.” Gigavolt replied, we heard cups touching a table, I assume the table is made of glass as we heard two unhealthy clinks, dood. “So anyways, is there a problem? I heard you electrocuted everypony and two prinnies in Sugarcube Corner, and I want to make sure this doesn’t happen again.” Twilight said; we can’t see shit so I can’t describe what she is doing. “I have had a bad few weeks, this place is too calm, and the ponies that think they can have me bent over backwards for them believe they can have me do anything for them, I merely taught them their place.” Gigavolt said. “Okay, so you have had a few bad days, we all get them; Have you considered trying to relax every once in a while.” Twilight reasoned; we heard a sip, dood; that’s as descriptive as I can with a shutter blocking us. “I have tried, your idiot friend, Rainbow Dash keeps taking out my power by destroying the thunderclouds I request from the weather patrol; I am sure the first time she did it, it was an accident; but the next six times, means she does it to spite me.” Gigavolt said, we all notice the power fluctuating, as we all hear Gigavolt curse, me and Pinkie head out to see Rainbow destroying a cloud hovering above Gigavolt’s house, dood. “Hey Dashie, whatcha doing?” Pinkie asked, Rainbow finally acknowledge us, dood. “I don’t know why some moron keeps putting a storm cloud here; it’s starting to get on my nerves.” Dash replied, grunting in annoyance. “Uh, dood? Gigavolt asked the weather patrol to leave a cloud there to power her stuff, dood.” I say, Rainbow’s face just drains. “Why didn’t she tell me? I would have left it alone if she’d tell me about this.” Rainbow said, me and Pinkie turn to see Gigavolt and Twilight coming out of the house. Gigavolt turned her head to Rainbow Dash, she was peeved, dood. “I did tell you, you said ‘kay, I won’t touch your clouds’ after you destroyed the first cloud I had there.” Gigavolt said, glaring at the cyan pegasus, dood. “Yeah, I don’t remember that.” She said, rubbing the back of her head with her hoof, dood. “I realize that, and I fear I will have to remind you again in a month, seeing as your memory lasts that long.” Gigavolt spat. Rainbow swooped down to meet the demon pony face to face; “You don’t tell me what to do.” Rainbow Dash raged. Gigavolt pushed the pegasus out of her face, dood. “Right, that’s Twilight’s job to order you and your friends around; say Twilight, tell Rainbow to stop destroying my clouds.” Gigavolt said; Rainbow’s face went red with anger, dood. “Rainbow, please wait. I know Gigavolt is being a jerk at the moment, but she is having a rather stressful week, give her some time to reorganize herself; and I’m sure she’ll be nice again.” Twilight said; Rainbow cooled off a little but was still glaring daggers at Gigavolt, which brings the question: “Has Gigavolt ever been nice?” I asked. Gigavolt looked to me and said, “I might have been nice before my original death, but that was over eight hundred years ago.” Gigavolt said, she then had a horrible grin on her face as she turned to Rainbow Dash. “Glad to see that you are loyal to your master, mutt.” That did it, as Rainbow gave Gigavolt a hoof sandwich to go, dood, as Gigavolt hit the ground, the demon pony got up and rubbed the spot where Rainbow hit her, “You wish to play like that, then we shall play, mutt.” Gigavolt said, as her horn started to charge up electricity, the energy was making us back away from her has she sent a lightning bolt towards Rainbow Dash, the bolt hit her left wing at a joint, forcing her to the ground, the cyan mare looked to her left wing and tried to move it; only to see it limp at her side, looking useless, dood. “Enjoy your time on the ground, mongrel.” Gigavolt said, walking back into her home and slamming the door shut. Rainbow walked with us back to the library, as Pinkie asked Twilight what Gigavolt’s house was like. “It’s very different from us, she had a very big black screen on one side on the room, a very silver looking kitchen, like everything had a reflective surface; she also had a two rather normal couches and a beanbag chair sitting a few feet away from the screen, with some weird devices connected to a slightly larger machine that was connected to the screen, it looked like a black binder with SS3 on it, I have no idea what it was for.” Twilight said; I started to cry, dood. “She has a Slaystation 3 in her house? That’s cruel to show it off like that when there are prinnies can know how to use it, that could need to burn off some steam playing on it, dood.” I say, with as much charisma as I can put in it. Twilight and Pinkie look at each other weirdly before saying, “What do you mean, play on it? That thing looked too small and too fragile to play on it.” I shake my head, these ponies I tell ya, dood. “No, you know that weird black thing me and the other prinnies play on when we aren’t helping you girls out?” Twilight nods but only confuses the other girls, “it’s like that but bigger, and better, dood. Did you see any games she might have on it?” I asked; Twilight shook her head as Rainbow Dash and Pinkie but in and looks at me, interrogation style, dood. “What do you mean by games? Like fun games?” Pinkie asked. I kinda try to escape only for Rainbow to block me off with her one good wing, dood. “Well, yea; they are fun, but some of them are for like one player while there are others for like 2 or 4 players, besides, I don’t think there controllers would suit ponies.” I said; Pinkie and Rainbow Dash look sad when I said this, dood. “Controllers? You mean those small boxes with those two sticks coming out of it and 6 or 8 buttons on it? That looks like it can be used by ponies.” Twilight said; good god, Gigavolt worked it to play any game she wanted on a bloody arcade stick? Dood, that’s impressive; I can see her playing Hyperdimension Neptunia MK.2 with a reworked Arcade Stick, man I wish I was in her good graces to play on her Slaystation, dood. The rest of the day was rather uneventful, as Rainbow Dash and Pinkie went to Sugarcube Corner, while the other prinnies came to the library to go to sleep; I had to break the news, dood. “Gigavolt has a SlayStation 3 in her house? She is the only pony with power and she has that just lying around her place, dood?” Chocolate said; the others were all shocked by this news. “We need to find a way to get in on that action, dood.” Says Mr. K; with a group nod from the rest of the prinnie. “She kind of sticks to herself, are we even sure she has multi-player games, dood?” Master Cupcake asked, we all stop and look at each other, unsure if we can answer that. “I don’t know, we can go ask her tomorrow, dood.” Mr. K said; we sorta cringe since this is the same pony that wanted us dead like a few months ago. “I don’t think she likes anyone, I don’t think there is a pony she trusts any further then she can throw them.” I say, we continue our discussion till we go to bed at long last, I don’t know about the others but I was dreaming of kicking ass on Slaystation playing Borderlands. The next day, we nearly shit ourselves, dood; Gigavolt wanted to see if the Village of the Blanks existed. “With all the crappy short stories and games about them, I want to see if they are feared as the weakling ‘bronies’ portray them as.” Gigavolt exclaimed, dood. She was packed lightly; Twilight was joined behind her, with the rest of us prinnies, dood. “Can you tell me about the Village of the Blanks? I don’t think I’ve heard of them.” Twilight asked, dood. We were all shaking, as Gigavolt looked to us and grinned. “According to all the ‘myths’. It is a village of cannibalistic ponies that see cutie marks as a sign of great evil, and murder whatever pony has them, to ponies without a cutie mark and unaware of their secret, they appear to be average citizens in a friendly community. To those that are aware or have a cutie mark, they appear to be zombified creatures that have very few similarities to what they once were. No pony knows how they became corrupt, but some believe that it started from the murder of a filly named Ruby. But I want proof, and since I am arguably the strongest around, it only makes sense to find this out personally.” Gigavolt claimed, turning her head to face the entrance to Everfree Forest, dood. “Oh, so we’re going to try and communicate with evil ponies? That’ll be interesting.” Twilight said; she looked visibly shaken. Gigavolt nodded and headed in, we all scramble and follow her, dood. “So what do you plan on doing when we find this village, dood?” Asked Master Cupcake, we all turn to Gigavolt for an answer. “I want a sample of whatever ails them, maybe I can weaponize it for later use or sell it; if they prove ‘pushy’ I’ll wipe them off the face of Equestria.” She said, looking like she wants Plan A to fail so that she can go ahead with Plan B, dood. Twilight gave the demon pony a confused stare, “what samples?” she asked, dood. “Their blood, flesh; maybe the dirt their crappy village is sitting on; on a side note, alert me if you find Ruby’s remains, even a single bone, might prove useful for what I have planned,” she answered, we all shuddered to think. “How did you lose to us?” Twilight answered, looking scared and confused at the same time, dood. “Valvatorez’s rules, the fact that this world makes me more peaceful than I should be; maybe it’s because my demonic power isn’t effective against the Elements of Harmony.” Gigavolt answered again, dood. We continue our trip through the forest, Gigavolt making short work of anything that approached us, dood; manticores, bears, and timberwolves apparently don’t like getting hit by electricity generated from a pony that looks like she’ll turn into Nightmare Moon if you so much as kick dirt onto her hooves, dood. We noticed that the forest was getting darker, and some of it was turning blue, a few of us prinnies turn to Gigavolt to see her smile growing wider. “We are getting closer.” We all stop at seeing a pony ahead of us, looked rather sick-looking, dood. “Go back...” He said. Gigavolt trotted up to him and snapped his neck, dood. We all jaw dropped when we saw that. Gigavolt smirked, moving past the body, we all try to, only to see it getting back up. Gigavolt turned and reduced it to ashes with a lightning bolt, dood. “Pitiful.” Gigavolt uttered, still moving forward. We look at the ashes with some grimace before rushing to Gigavolt’s side, dood. “Here we are.” She exclaimed, dood. We see a ruined village before us, it looked like shit, but there were a lot of ponies who didn’t like us. “Why are you here?” they asked us, Gigavolt walked forward calmly and said “We are here to gather information about you, and your curse; attack us, and I will eradicate you.” The ponies didn’t seem too threatened, as they started to move closer, dood. One pony that was stupid fast ran up to bite Gigavolt, only to get head-butted by the thunder pony; working on her nerves, dood. “I think we should leave, dood.” Mr. K said, now looking for an exit, we are now surrounded by zombie ponies, dood. Even Twilight looked scared, but she tried to hide it, dood. “Please, we are only here to help you.” She tried to reason. Gigavolt stifled a laugh. “You may want to help them, but I don’t care if they end up going to Hades or Tartarus later, interfering with me will only send them there quicker.” She replied, looking to Chocolate, dood. “Golden Shower, your bat if you will.” She said, her hoof stretched out, waiting for something. “My name is Chocolate now, dood.” He said, trying to maintain some dignity, dood. “To me, you will always be Golden Shower, you walking urinal.” She fucking scared him, so bad dood. He handed her the bat and she got into the stance. “Allow me to show you all the power of a level two-thousand four hundred and sixty-sevem demon pony.” She yelled, nailing a creepy pony so hard, he literally flew to the moon; we assumed he is now dead-dead, dood. The other ponies didn’t like that and started to jump Gigavolt, ignoring the rest of us. “Help Gigavolt.” Twilight ordered us. We didn’t want to, but we couldn’t resist a command from the future overlord, so we went in our pouches and charged the group attacked Gigavolt, some of them were ripping at Gigavolt’s flesh, one even succeeded in biting off some flesh. Gigavolt hissed in pain as she shocked all the ponies away from her, dood. I, Chocolate, and Master Cupcake were literally sending these freaks flying with our attacks; Mr. K wasn’t even scratching them, dood. Twilight levitated several of the evil ponies away from us, not doing a damn thing to kill them, but we can’t really expect her to kill anything at this time, dood. “You wish to play like this, very well.” Gigavolt, walked over to us. “I suggest you all leave the area, immediately.” she said, turning back to the attackers, dood. We didn’t need to be told twice, we ran like hell; ponies that were jumping us, were either thrown away like a bad joke by Lady Sparkle, or were sliced in two by one of us, dood. Then we heard something, dood; “Thunder Festival”, it sounded like Gigavolt but we didn’t fucking care, dood. We kept running, until we noticed that it was day again, so quickly, dood. We turn around to see a huge ass wall of electricity surrounding the town, and then it went dark, along with a very, very loud explosion, dood; this sent us flying out of Everfree Forest, we all somehow managed to not explode from the force, which is cool by me, dood. We waited a few minutes to see Gigavolt walking out, slightly battered from the ordeal, a small filly skull sorta coming out of her left saddle bag, and sound of flasks in the right. “It appears that my plan was a success, the village of the blanks was destroyed and I now have the materials needed to see how it was caused.” She said with a smirk, she walked home with an eerie spring in her step. Twilight turns to us and says “She destroyed an entire town of evil zombie ponies. How did six mares and five prinnies beat her twice?” Twilight asked us, we shrugged, dood. Next Episode! Fusion Fool: The world is corrupt, and the streets are in ruins, dood. Twilight Sparkle: Not another one of these. Fusion Fool: Chaser, Applejack Cayman will have to ally herself with her greatest rival, dood. Applejack: Beg yur pardon? Fusion Fool: The Purple Princess (You can't impress), the Duchess of Love and Tolerance, dood. Twilight Sparkle: My brain hurts. Fusion Fool: That's right, Pimplight Sparkle will have to give somepony a taste of her pimpslap, dood. Twilight Sparkle: I can't think anymore, I think you robbed me of it. Pinkie Pie: Pimplight Sparkle? Isn't Rainbow Dash more suited since she is the most shipped out of all of us? Gigavolt: Hold up, you were the little fucks that downloaded Anarchy Reigns onto my computer. Fusion Fool: Next Episode, "Super Sexy Fists of Fire, the Applebuckening." Kill all the mutants, and rack up the points, dood. Ruby: I can't wait. ~dood~[/hr] If this story is somehow popular, I want to ask you guys not to comment in the Anarchy Reigns video that you were brought here by ponies, the fandom has enough haters, and I don't like the idea of being the direct cause of adding more, thank you, dood. Let's hope that I make some progress, dood. Gem-Fusions and Kamikaze, dood.Hey everybrony, I FINALLY updated this shit. Go me, dood! please don't flame me bro. (I'm going to wash my mouth out for saying 'everybrony' now, dood.) ~dood~[/hr] Me and the other prinnies were forced into being Rainbow Dash’s pit crew, dood; set up with towels, water bottles, and a stool, dood. All because we were caught sneaking into Gigavolt’s place to play on her video game console, in which she threatened to throw us into Ghastly Gorge if we talk about the tech she had in her home, dood. Our job is simple, dood. I give Rainbow Dash the water bottle, Super Pal wipes her head of sweat, Mr. K sets up the stool, and finally Master Cupcake and Chocolate rubs her muscles and makes sure she is ready to fly again, dood. It was torture since Rainbow Dash expects us to be where she lands before she lands, dood. “You guys are so slow; you need to step it up to keep up with me.” Rainbow Dash yelled at us, cause it was clearly our fault that our peg legs are just as fast as pegasus wings, dood. “A prinny must never make their master wait.” Gigavolt said from a distance; she just gave us a mean stare then walked away. Super Pal stuck his tongue out at her only to be struck with lightning, dood. That scared us a little. Rainbow Dash told us she was finished with stunts and went to have a nap, freeing us from her tyranny; we walked by to the library when we noticed something that wasn’t supposed to be there, dood. We saw a grey Diamond Dog talking to Gigavolt behind her house; he was wearing a big ass brown vest that went from his mid-section to his nose, all done up; he was also wearing a brown Stetson hat and a pair of goggles. Gigavolt was handing him something in a chest, the two nodded and walked away, dood. We booked it to Twilight’s library home where we believed something was ahoof, dood. We found Twilight juggling stars, another spell she found from that book. “The pony who wrote this book should receive awards for the knowledge in this book. It teaches you how to bend stars to your will for Celestia’s sake.” Twilight comments making the stars disappear before giving us our time to explain. “We saw Gigavolt making deals behind her house with a shady Diamond Dog; I bet she is up to trying to dope up the place with illegal drugs or illegal candies, dood.” Super Pal said. We all looked at him, wondering how stupid can he get, dood, well me and the prinnies did, Twilight gave him the standard ‘Pinkie, stop being so Pinkie all the time’ look, dood. “Drugs exist in Equestria, dood; right?” he asked, Twilight still gave him that same blank stare, dood. “You mean medicine like Painkillers and Cough Syrup?” Twilight asked, all of us except Super Pal knew this would happen, dood. “No like Weed, Meth, Cocaine; the stuff that makes you see pink elephants, or makes you trip something awful when you eat mushrooms, dood.” Super Pal continued, Twilight face hoofed, we followed her action, dood. “Dood, Equestria is a place of happiness; they don’t need that stuff to feel even happier.” Chocolate said, getting ready to hit Super Pal, dood. “That might be why Equestria is happy, Celestia might be smoking some in her study, dood.” Super Pal said, and then he got cracked with a baseball bat, courtesy of Chocolate, dood. As Chocolate dragged Super Pal away, Pinkie Pie burst in through the door. “Twilight! There was a sneaky Diamond dog walking away from Ponyville, he was just talking to Gigavolt and she gave him something. You think Gigavolt is giving him some super special cupcakes that she made in that super-secret basement of her?” Pinkie Pie said, Twilight metaphorically sprang into action, dood. “We should ask Gigavolt about that then, especially if this Diamond Dog is up to no good.” Twilight said, Mr. K got peeved, dood. “Oh sure, we go to warn the pony that does all the saving in Equestria and she tells us ‘Bitch, please’ then her friend says the same thing and then she goes ‘shit is about to get down, dood; we have a badass to deal with’. That is typical.” Mr. Kamikaze said, Twilight shot him a glare. “I recall you guys giving me reason to not trust you in the past, like trying to keep Gigavolt a secret, keeping your true identity a secret, and breaking into Gigavolt’s house,” Twilight said. We all flinched and forgot what Mr. K said, dood. We all followed Twilight and Pinkie to Gigavolt’s house. “What are you idiots talking about?” Gigavolt asked us. She looked annoyed that we are bothering her, dood. “The Prinnies and Pinkie said that they saw you doing something weird with a Diamond Dog behind your house.” Twilight said, dood. “The Prinnies are scumbags and Pinkie is clinically insane; what’s your point?” Gigavolt said, we felt that hit home, dood. “The Prinnies have been working hard to redeem themselves and Pinkie is my friend, all I need to know is if this Diamond Dog will be any trouble to Ponyville.” Twilight explained, Gigavolt gave her a deadpanned look. “I assure you, what you saw, didn’t happen. Now beat it.” Gigavolt snarled, walking back into her home before Twilight stopped her again by calling her name, causing the green demon to glare at Twilight, dood. “Do you happen to know when the library’s projector will be fixed and ready? Cheerilee was asking because her class will be using it next week.” Twilight asked sheepishly, dood. “It’s nearly done, come and pick it up around noon tomorrow.” Gigavolt replied, shutting the door behind her, I swear dood, that pony is a walking mood swing. “Hey Twilight, dood” I asked her. “Yea, Fusion Fool?” She turned to me, dood. “Why didn’t you defend Pinkie’s sanity when Gigavolt said she was insane, dood.” I said; Pinkie was happily ignorant of our conversation, dood. “Because it’s hard to say she isn’t crazy with a straight face.” Twilight replied, Pinkie caught that one and jumped to Twilight’s side, dood. “Then say I’m a normal pony with a big smile, Twilight.” She said, hopping away back to whatever chocolate covered sundae dungeon that she could and probably will make, dood. We returned to the library to find that Spike has returned from helping Rarity, dood. “Hey guys, have you seen that weird Diamond Dog walking away from Ponyville, he was holding a box of something; knowing those guys, that crate has a lot of gems in.” Spike said, we prinnies gather in the basement as Twilight went back to reading, dood. “We must get to the bottom of this deal, any deals with a demon need investigation, dood.” I say, with four sets of cheers coming from my comrades, dood. “A Diamond Dog coming to Ponyville to make a deal for gems? Outragous, dood.” Master Cupcake said, he slammed a flipper down on the makeshift table of books, dood. “Maybe we can catch her doing something bad and get her banished to the moon, dood!” Mr. K said, raising a flipper, dood. “Get her banished to a prison that was banished so she’d have a place to stay at the location of where she would have been banished… Ingenious, dood.” Super Pal said; all happy and stuff, dood. “Don’t you mean, ‘banish her and then throw her in a dungeon in the place that she banishes you to, dood?” Master Cupcake inquired; Super Pal nodded. “We have no choice but to bust this deal and save Equestria from a potential threat of druggies and Gigavolt, dood!” Chocolate cried. We all pump our flippers in the air now that we have what some sort of plan to beat Gigavolt, dood. We camped outside of Gigavolt’s house, waiting for the cave mutt to appear, only to find that Gigavolt is instead leaving her place, wearing saddlebags, dood. With silent steps, we follow her. We follow her to Ghastly Gorge where that diamond dog guy was there, the guy seemed pretty intimidating, but this time he was wearing large steel gauntlets over his arm-paws (no idea, dood). “I must admit, Miss; these gauntlets do wonders for digging.” The shmuck said, dood; admiring the gauntlets on his hands(?). “I don’t make things to be useless, Bonez. Now did you get those gems for me?” Gigavolt asked, her glare was actually less ‘glaring’ than usual. The Diamond Dog named Bonez opened up a chest he was holding and showed Gigavolt a small black orb, we couldn’t see the gem itself from our point of view but we saw Gigavolt give a nod of approval, dood. “Just as you asked, a Galactic Eye” Bonez commented; and on a side note, this guy sounds like Iron Tager from Blazblue, I shit you never, dood. “Excellent, and the others?” The demon pony asked; the Diamond Dog nodded and opened the chest again to reveal a very bright crystal, Gigavolt hissed as she levitated a pair of sunglasses to protect her vision, dood. “Celestia’s Heart; several different gems, one of Celestia’s feathers, and a fragment of the sun. You must tell me how you managed to get that fragment.” Bonez asked; Gigavolt shook her head, dood. “A secret is a secret for a reason; isn’t that right, Prinnies?” Gigavolt called out, looking at us, dood. We all flinched at this and piled out of the bush we were hiding in. “We’re telling that you stole some of Celestia’s sun, Gigavolt.” Mr. K said; if Gigavolt was scared she hid it VERY well behind a deadpanned look. “That might be bad; no one has ever tried to pick something from the sun.” Bonez said, backing away from us. Gigavolt shook her head. “The amount I took was barely enough to keep Ponyville in the light for a day, Celestia won’t miss it.” Gigavolt said, she levitated the gems and placed them in a container in her saddlebags, dood. “This kinda looks bad on us, since we didn’t prove that they were drug dealing though, dood.” Super Pal said, we felt Bonez giving us a confused look (I couldn’t tell, damn goggles, dood.) while Gigavolt facehoofed. “Why would anyone set up drugs in Equestria? That is just asking for trouble.” Gigavolt said, walking away, dood. Mr. K ran up to Gigavolt and kicked her in the flank, the rest of us backed up in hopes that we would avoid the destruction, dood. “I always wanted to do that, dood. And the best part is, you can’t hurt us because we are property of Twilight Sparkle, dood.” Mr. K said, he clearly forgot the ass kicking we all received a few days ago. “Mr. Kamikaze, You will be returning to Hades, NOW!” Gigavolt screamed, she levitated the poor prinny and threw him into the gorge behind her. We heard a lot of snapping of those eel things and then a loud explosion. Gigavolt looked over the cliff edge and smirked. “Well, go me; I actually killed one of those eels with that blast.” She turned to us, and we ran for the hills, hoping not to suffer the same fate as Mr. K, dood. We reached the library, as Twilight and Spike we organizing it, dood. “Where were we guys, you should have been helping us with Library Organization Day.” Twilight scolded, we look up to her with tears in our eyes, dood. “I’m sorry, what happened?” “We were tailing Gigavolt *sniff* because we thought she was going to attack Equestria, dood. But we found out she wasn’t *sniff* and now, she killed Mr. K, dood.” I whined, the remainder of us mourned for the poor idiot, dood. “Gigavolt… killed Mr. Kamikaze?” Twilight said in horror, she immediately dropped her books and rushed her flank to Gigavolt’s place, we all stayed behind, but we heard a very clear “CONTROL YOUR GOD DAMN SERVANTS” from Gigavolt from across town, dood. Twilight returned with a sad look on her face. “I must admit, I am rather disappointed in you guys for bothering Gigavolt over something like a gem trade with the Diamond Dogs, but I can’t believe she would kill someone over something so petty.” Twilight said, tears forming in her violet eyes. Chocolate goes over to pat on her on the side, dood. “Good news is, Mr. Kamikaze is just back in Hades, since prinnies can’t exactly die, dood. He just won’t be able to get back into Equestria again without extreme support from Lord Valvatorez or the Dimension Guide.” Chocolate explained, Twilight did calm down a little but losing such a forgettable character can be devastating for a paragraph or two, dood. “Spike, I’m going to go to bed early tonight; can you and the prinnies finish this up please?” Twilight asked, moving up the stairs. We start picking up books and help Spike finish organizing the library, dood. “How did he go, anyways?” Spike asked us. We look to each other and let out a sigh, dood. “He was thrown into Ghastly Gorge and was eaten by one of the Quarray Eels; since he was thrown, his explosion took out one of them, according to Gigavolt, dood..” Super Pal said, looking crestfallen, dood. “Harsh.” Was all that Spike said, as we finish up and gets to bed, dood. Twilight brought us along to let everypony that mattered know that Mr. K is gone, dood. We start with Rarity, as we see her doing business with… The hell was Bonez doing here, dood? “Twilight Darling, have you met Bonez? He is a gem trader from those awful Diamond Dogs that abducted me; despite how horrid is attire is, the gems he sells are in such excellent condition, and quiet the gentleman. Shame he’s a Diamond Dog, though.” Rarity went on, Bonez tried to keep his stotic face from turning into a frown from being insulted, dood. “Hey, weren’t you giving a weird black orb and a gem that contained a fraction of Celestia’s sun to Gigavolt yesterday, dood?” I asked him, he merely nodded as Twilight and Rarity’s lower jaws were in danger of hitting the ground. “According to Gigavolt, it would be rather tedious to aquire another sample of the princess’ sun, but she did acquire enough moon rock for me to make Moon Tears for buyers that are interested.” He said, fixing his goggles over his eyes, dood. “How much is it to commission a Moon Tear?” Rarity asked, dood. “Roughly 20 bits, since I need to combine gems and other ingredients together to make them; Gigavolt only gets her gems for free due to that fancy device she gave me, I believe it was called Crucible. Claimed she acquired it from an old man that had too many of them to begin with.” Bonez said, rubbing his chin. “Of course, if you get the materials for me, the price will be 5 bits. Cost for cutting the gem and combining them of course.” He continued, Rarity nodded but seemed adamant to get them special gems, dood. “I’ll pay for 3 Moon tears, when you have them made, of course.” Rarity said, in her lady-like fashion. Bonez nodded and turned to leave Ponyville, not before being stopped by a filly who asked him what he was, and a scared mother dragging the child away, dood. “Diamond Dogs are rather messy and intimidating, but it’s good to see I can do business with at least one of them, so what brings you here dear?” Rarity asked, Twilight looked to the ground for answers, dood. “Yesterday, Mr. Kamikaze died; Gigavolt killed him for attacking her.” Twilight said, Rarity gasped, and fainted on her fainting couch, dood. “Oh how could this happen? Are his little friends doing okay?” Rarity asked, the two ponies turn to us, we are just chillin there, Super Pal trying to pick his nose with his flipper. “Your friend died yesterday and you guys simply stopped caring about him?” Twilight scolded. “Kamikaze was an idiot, dood. Besides, he is probably in the Netherworld doing prinny tasks and what not.” Chocolate said, we all shrug in confirmation, dood. “So demons don’t care if someone close to them dies?” Twilight asked, dood. “I heard Overlord Laharl laughed when he found out his dad died, dood.” I said, We all nodded, but Rarity and Twilight look mortified by this. “How could demons be so insincere?” Rarity asked; we all shrug again,d ood. “Demons are supposed to be the bad guys, that’s probably why, dood.” Super Pal said. We all confirm that with a head nod, dood. Twilight didn’t like this info at all. “I’ll see you later Rarity, we gotta go let the other girls know about this.” Twilight said, dood. Rarity nodded and gave us the most elegant stink eye I have ever seen, dood. We ran into Rainbow Dash and Applejack in town, the latter selling apples. They both waved at Twilight as we approached them. “Hey Twilight, why so glum?” Applejack asked, Twilight explained it to the two and they were stunned. “How could Gigavolt do such a thing to these critters? It was uncalled for.” Applejack said, Rainbow Dash was trying to fly and punch Gigavolt in the face but Twilight’s magic kept her in place by her tail, dood. “The Prinnies say that Mr. K is back in Hades doing prinny tasks. The reason why they don’t care about the death of a friend.” Twilight continued; Rainbow Dash and Applejack gave us a confused look, dood. “It’s true, dood. It sort of happens all the time in the netherworld.” Master Cupcake says, all three ponies were rather scared of the netherworld now. “I remember ripping a shirt off a Magic Knight; she beat me into the dirt with the moon, dood.” Super Pal said, the three ponies chuckled nervously dood. “You mean with like a fake moon right? For a play?” Twilight asked, still nervously chuckling, dood. “No dood, she jumped all the way to the moon, grabbed it, piledrived it into me, then beat me over the head with it until I died, dood.” Super Pal said, the ponies stopped chuckling and look scared. “There was that one time I made fun of an archer because those chicks make cutting boards look buxom, so she jumped all the way to Pluto and shot an arrow that destroyed 6 planets and made the sun go supernova, dood. That hurt like hell, dood.” I said, it was totally true, but the ponies were not believing it though, dood. “An arrow? Destroyed 6 planets and made the sun go super nova? If you are going to lie, make a good one at least.” Twilight said, and then Applejack looked a bit freaked out. “Ah don’t think they’re lying, Twi.” She said, giving us a worried look. We continue to talk about different ways me and my fellow prinnies kicked the bucket so many times while the ponies looked at us in fear and worry; as Fluttershy and Pinkie come by to talk to us, dood. “We heard from Rarity! Are you guys super positive that Mr. Kamikrazy is okiedokie in the netherworld?” Pinkie asked, dood. We all nodded. “Must be so sad to watch your friend die, I’m so sorry.” Fluttershy said, she squeaked in the end, making Kamikaze’s death actually beneficial to those of us that survived, dood. “Nah, we have been through worse, dood. We were just telling the others that time we were uppercut-mmph” Chocolate was interrupted by Twilight’s magic muzzling him, dood. “They don’t need to hear about all 4762 deaths you went through, guys.” Twilight said, Pinkie and Fluttershy gasped while we let out a collective ‘aww, dood’. We all went back to Ponyville as Pinkie threw a ‘Sorry that Gigavolt killed you, Mr. Kamikaze, dood’ party in the deceased’s honour. Where Pinkie pulled out a new game for us prinnies, ‘Pin the Tail on the Fenrich’ I don’t know how she found out about Master Fenrich, but we played that game all day, purposely trying to pin that jerk’s tail on his nose, dood. ~dood~[/hr] Next Episode! Fusion Fool: After losing her right hoof to banditos, Twilight must now be a badass hero, dood. Twilight: I don't think I can do 'Badass'. Rainbow Dash: Yeah, might as well make it about me. Fusion Fool: Thanks to Pinkie Pie, Twilight has a new hoof, Celestia's Hoof, dood. Celestia: I am not sure if Twilight can handle the power in my hoof. Twilight: Why do I have the Princess' Hoof? Fusion Fool: Now faced with the demons that want that same hoof; her half-sister Trixie that has Luna's Hoof. Twilight and Pinkie Pie must now beat the crap out of all the jerks that want Celestia's Hoof and doing it all while cracking jokes and looking cool doing it, dood. Trixie: Trixie doesn't need some cheap gimmick to defeat Twilight Sparkle. All da Prinnies & Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity: Yeah... you do, dood. Fusion Fool: Next Episode: Celestia's Hoof; La Bombs and Dragon kicks to all the creeps, and a spanking to all the hos, dood. Mr. Kamikaze: Why did you kill me off, dood? ~dood~[/hr] So, I learned that I rushed the ending because I don't want to repeat the same scene to 5 different ponies, and I shot myself in the pegleg for making a new OC (Bonez the Gem-cutting Diamond Dog; what Diamond Dog OC can you name off the top of your head?) I was actually fascinated with the idea of a non-pony OC, so Bonez is now around, he'll be only on this chapter, dood. In other news... Wow, I sound like a dick in the first paragraph of that, dood. I'm sorry, people that took the time to read my stories. Slight Edit: Borderlands 2 will be taking up a lot of my time forever (I said this about Diablo 3 until the hype died a month later though, dood.) So, About That Book, Dood...So for all the people that got wierd Blog notices that were weird and stupid...I"M SO SORRY, DOOD! I feel like I cheated you all with mini-updates and such so HERE IS THE NEXT CHAPTER THAT I FINALLY DID,DOOD Sorry if it's bad, dood. ~dood~[/hr] I wasn’t there but Master Cupcake had an accident in Sugarcube Corner, dood. He was baked into a cake by accident, dood. Pinkie was searching for him for a few hours before we found him inside the comically large cake that we had for Applejack’s birthday party, dood. We know he was in there because Super Pal tripped and the cake fell and it exploded, dood. Anyways, Twilight was reading the book from chapter eight and other brief mentions, while the rest of us were doing house work…scratch that, Spike was taking a nap while the prinnies did his chores, dood. I take a glance outside to see Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash having a prank war, the main square of Ponyville was a war zone of water balloons, pies, inks, and the random kitchen sink. I also noticed Gigavolt wheeling the Library projector back to us (she is about several months late than she said, dood); dodging everything the pranksters are throwing at her or at each other. When she was forced to stop, she sent at least three pies and 7 water balloons back to sender with her magic, and knocked on the door. “I got it, dood.” Said Super Pal, as he ran for the door and opened it to see Gigavolt and the machine come in. “Hey Gigavolt; done with the projector?” Twilight asked, not even sparing a glance at the demon-pony, dood. “Yes, things came up and I had to post pone it for a bit.” Gigavolt simply stated, to put it in the corner of the main room. She turned to see Twilight still reading, blissfully aware that she was barely acknowledged, dood. “Must be a good book if you choose to ignore your guest like a smug noble.” Twilight snapped up to see Gigavolt and quick glances around the room to see all of us (minus Spike) looking at her in confusion, dood. “Sorry, but this book is more than just a book, it’s an ancient spellbook, I bet it used to belong to one of the Princesses or maybe a relative of theirs, like a parent or somepony.” She continued, dood. Gigavolt shook her head before Twilight let her take hold of the book with her electro-telekinesis, Gigavolt’s eyes went wide when she saw the title and started to flip through it like… Twilight would if she was on speed and REALLY needed to read a book, dood (I dunno) “The Badass Guide to Magic and Making Other’s Feel Weak by Overlord Zetta” Gigavolt said, swallowing a breath, dood. “Who is Zetta?” Twilight asked, dood. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie seemed to stop their prank war long enough to walk in to see Gigavolt look scared. Gigavolt closed the book and placed it on the table. “Overlord Zetta, otherwise known as ‘The Most Badass Freaking Overlord’ is one of the mightiest demons that will ever exist, and one of the very few with a near inexhaustible mana supply. He is stubborn and thick skull-ed however and it lead to the destruction of his Netherworld and his body. He spent years within a book, with the assistance of his fellow Overlords, he obtained a new Netherworld. Even when he was a book, he was still arguably one of the most powerful demons in existence.” The whole room was in awe of what Gigavolt said, but Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were a tad confused by the explanation. “He’s the male demon version of Rainbow Dash with more magical power then Celestia, Luna, and Discord combined, and about as short fused as Gilda.” That explanation got Rainbow and Pinkie’s jaws to hit the ground, dood. “If he has so much power, why would he place so many of his best spells in this book?” Twilight asked, Gigavolt rubbed her chin in confusion. “An Overlord with more power than the Princesses and Discord combined and he acts like me? That is so awesome, I bet meeting him would be the coolest.” Rainbow Dash cheered. Gigavolt shook her head. “Zetta only cares about power and his title of Badass Overlord. But I have heard that he and a human sorceress named Salome having a child. Maybe that book was made to help the kid learn some starter spells; I even saw the Zetta Beam in there.” Gigavolt exclaimed, before becoming paranoid. “This could be very bad. If the book is here, than that means that Zetta or the kid might have dropped it here, and eventually they’ll have to go and find it. Shit, this is could be bad.” Gigavolt started to pace about the library, dood. “What’s so bad about this ‘Zetta’ person anyways?” Pinkie said. “I heard he destroyed an entire Netherworld once because they spilled coffee on his lap, dood.” Super Pal said, really super-scared, dood. “Then, we’ll ask him to put a towel on his lap if he visits. I’ll throw the biggest and bestest party that would show him that we ponies are cool, and then when he has fun with us, the party will upgrade to a bad-ass party.” Pinkie sheered, happy at the thought of meeting a new face. “I think Overlord Zetta would rather destroy Equestria with a single Zetta Beam than party with us, dood.” I said, because I am trying to not shit bricks over here, dood. “My thoughts exactly, if Zetta has any minimal statistics, it’s his patience. He would rather kill first and then problem solve, and he would rather test his power against others that he has deemed worthy, and destroy whatever he has deemed too weak, like nearly every Overlord in existence. In comparison to a netherworld, Equestria is the definition of weak.” Gigavolt explained, the colour draining from everyone’s face. “And if his kid is anything like him, we are going to be caught in the apocalypse of ponydom.” “What if we return the book and say we’re sorry?” Twilight asked, dood. Gigavolt grimaced, “Only a small handful of demons accept ‘sorry’ and Zetta is more likely take the book after nuking Ponyville than accepting your apology.” She stopped to let us absorb the information; times like this, I wish I had a rectum, to shit bricks out of when I’m scared, dood. “What a jerk.” Rainbow Dash yelled, dood, “Why would anyone do that?” “Demons do that for fun, Rainbow Dash. The only reason I can say I didn’t decide to ruin Ponyville is because I dislike messes, and every Pony-Demon I have ever met have struggled to do either good or evil unless we are really drunk or really pissed off, I am no exception.” Gigavolt continued to explain, dood. “What if we gave him a taste of his own medicine?” Twilight said, Gigavolt arched a brow, while the rest of us are trying to understand what Twilight, a pony that is commonly against violence, would try to take on an Overlord, dood. “I have memorized every spell in this book, would that mean I have the powers of an Overlord?” Twilight asked, all of us (except Gigavolt) started to smile. “I’m not sure, but I doubt you can cast any of those spells.” Gigavolt said, Twilight thought for a moment before leaving the library, the rest of us kinda glance at each other before following her, dood. Twilight looked to the mountain range far in the distance. “Twilight Beam!” she said, as lasers came out her eyes and removed the mountain peak; scaring everypony that saw it, dood. “You’ll impress him, but that blast didn’t have enough kick, if it were to disintegrate the entire mountain, then we may have a chance.” Gigavolt said; she took a look at her watch. “I have a few projects I need to tend to now, excuse me.” Gigavolt said, walking away, Rainbow and Pinkie left as well, while Twilight was deep in thought, she ran back into the tree house and studied Zetta’s Book like it had the cure to every disease on the planet and the recipe to the best chocolate chip cookies you could find, dood. ~dood~[/hr] It has been a week since Gigavolt told us about Zetta and she has been in her repair shop since, only coming out to take apples, Twilight spent that same week with her nose buried in Zetta’s Book. Many of her friends came by to check up on her, we told them that Lady Sparkle was fine. They were still suspicious since we prinnies were just following Twilight’s orders, dood. Then Applejack had enough of our attempts of making her leave and she bucked us out of the way, dood. “Twilight! You get down here now, we need to talk.” The cowpony yelled, dood. Twilight teleported to the table behind Applejack, dood. “Yes, AJ?” “Sugarcube, you need to get outside. You have been in here for days.” Applejack reasoned, rather aggressively, dood. “Not yet, I need to prepare for what Zetta comes and tries to destroy Equestria.” Twilight said, dood. The orange mare gave her a confused look, dood. “Zetta-who? And why would he want to destroy Equestria?” “Cause he is a demon with a lot of power. If I can master the spells in his book, I might be able to repel him enough to keep him from destroying us all.” Twilight explained, only serving to confuse the apple-bucker even more, dood. “Yea…Let’s get you out of here, Sugarcube.” Applejack said, taking hold of a large chunk of Twilight’s tail and start dragging her outside, despite Twilight’s protests, we just followed her, dood. The girls were gathered at a picnic blanket when we approached, dood. The girls looked in disbelief as Applejack continued to dag Twilight to their gathering. “Someday, I knew we’d have to drag Twilight by the tail to get her here, didn’t think it was so soon though.” Rarity muttered as Twilight brushed herself off, glaring daggers at AJ, dood. “I was in the middle of trying to save Equestria from an Overlord.” Twilight retorted, weird to see Rainbow Dash shake a little, Pinkie was still sort of hopping, the rest kind of gave Twilight a weird look, dood. “Why would an Overlord want to hurt us?” Fluttershy asked, poking a cupcake with her hoof (that’s adorable, btw, dood) “Gigavolt said that Zetta would because he likes to show off his power or something like that.” Rainbow Dash said, Fluttershy squeaked in shock while the others continued their questionable stares, dood. “Gigavolt also said he was demon version of Rainbow Dash with more power than the Princesses and Discord combined.” Pinkie said, Applejack and Rarity gasped at the same time. Twilight nodded, dood. “I have learned every spell Zetta’s spellbook had but I still need to-“ “You’ve finished the book? Oh that’s good, father dropped it a long time ago and he feels it is time for me to finally learn his spells.” A voice interrupted Twilight, causing us all to turn to face a young girl (humanoid fyi) with two red pig-tails. She has white eyes, a…fuck it; here is her picture, dood. The girl bows to us and we just return the bow as a show of respect, dood. She gives us a cute smile and walks up to Twilight. “I presume that you have father’s book, may I please have it back? It took so very long to get father to agree to advance my training to become an Overlord and help him rule the Netherworlds.” The girl said, she gave our Lady a warm smile, dood. “Oh, I guess you can have it back, I did want to study it more to help protect Equestria.” Twilight said, and then something dawned on her. “That would make you Overlord Zetta’s child, wouldn’t it?” Fear caught her as she spoke those words, the rest of us backed away from the demon, dood. “Why yes, my name is Petta, my father is Overlord Zetta.” She said with a big smile, “So could I see my father’s book?” She asked, we all stared at the kind demon as Twilight ultimately gave up, dood. “Ok, come to the library, Miss Petta.” Twilight said; she and Petta started to walk to the library with us following them, dood. “Um, Miss Purple Pony? I’m sorry, I was never told your name, but why do you have prinny servants? This isn’t a Netherworld, is it?” Petta asked, dood. Twilight turned and gave her an unsure grin, “They kind of broke out of Hades to pledge their allegiance to me when they got here. They have been really helpful too. And my name is Twilight Sparkle.” We puff our chests in pride that Lady Sparkle praised us, dood. “Oh I see; I’m sure Mr. Valvatorez would like to hear that the prinnies are working hard here, even though it isn’t a Netherworld, he’s odd in that way.” Petta replied; Twilight gave her a brief nod as they continued to the library. ~dood~[/hr] We got to the Library with everypony staring at us, like it’s abnormal for Twilight to stroll to the library with the Badass Daughter and 2 prinnies following her, dood. Petta and Twilight spot the book on the table as Twilight levitated it to the girl. “Sorry for the trouble, it was a very fascinating read.” Twilight said, giving a weak smile, dood. “I do hope you didn’t hurt yourself trying to cast these spells. Many of them have cause brain damage and severe migraines to Skulls, Witches, and Magic Knights that all have tried to learn from this book.” Petta said, showing concern, dood. “The first few spells did give me a nasty head ache but after words, I was doing pretty well. My special talent is magic.” Twilight said, dood. She showed Petta her cutie mark in which the Overlord-in-Training gasped in awe. “My goodness, Miss Twilight. I am still trying to master my Petta Beam…I can only destroy an entire country with it right now, still not worthy enough for my father to be proud of me.” Petta said, looking downward in despair. “But if I can prove to my father that I can master his old spells, He’ll surely let me help him rule over the Netherworlds!” She said, pumping her fist in the air, Twilight looked like she was just shown that she is super weak, dood. “I tried what your father calls ‘Zetta Beam’ but I only managed to burn off the peak of the nearby mountain with my own version.” Twilight said, crestfallen that it’s nowhere near as powerful as Petta’s Beam, dood. “Oh but Miss Twilight, My Father’s Zetta Beam is extremely complicated, it’s a testemate to your skill that you learned such a spell as a mortal.” Petta praised, Twilight did look like she felt better from the vote of confidence, dood. “Fusion Fool, can you tell the girls we will be having a study party in the library if they want to join?” Lady Sparkle asked me, dood. “How nice, I never had a study-buddy before. Most people stay away from me because they fear my father.” Petta exclaimed, still happy that she has a friend to study her father’s spells with, dood. “Got it, dood!” I say, as I march out into the afternoon, dood. I get to the Picnic grounds to see the girls finishing up with Super Pal’s help, dood. “Twilight and Overlord Petta are having a Study Party, if you wanna attend, dood.” I call out, all of them giving me a awkward glance. Pinkie looked like she didn’t know what to do. “It’s a party, but Twilight and Miss-My-Daddy-Will-Destroy-Us-All will be reading one book the whole night, but it’s a party…I DON”T KNOW WHAT TO DO!” Pinkie cried, falling to the ground in tears, dood. “Pinkie’s confused, I gotta help her; see ya.” Rainbow Dash said, heaving Pinkie into her fore-limbs and flying off, dood. “You don’t have to come, Lady Sparkle just asked me to extend an invitation, dood.” I say; I still got awkward glances, dood. “I think I’ll go hit the hay, Tell your ‘Lady’ to remember to get out every once in a while.” Applejack told me, I gave her a salute, dood. “I must admit though, those garments that Petta was wearing were absolutely adorable, I wonder where she got those clothes.” Rarity said, probably thinking about Ponyfying Petta’s wardrobe, dood. “If it’s all the same to you, Fusion Fool; I need to get back to my animals, tell Twilight I’m sorry.” Fluttershy said, I merely nod, dood. Super Pal fidgeted a bit before speaking. “I’m going to give this a-” “You are property of Twilight Sparkle; move it to the Library before I kick you where the Succubi have been sticking things in during your wild nights.” I scolded like a boss, dood. Super Pal started to run to the library. I made my way there myself, but I had a gut feeling that something bad is going to happen, dood. ~dood~[/hr] I return to see Petta and Lady Sparkle laughing and giggling, testing various non-combat spells out in the middle of the room, Chocolate came in with three Hot Cocoas, I am assuming the jerk made a third for himself, dood. “Thank you Chocolate, now where were we?” Twilight asked, trying to find her spot in the book, dood. I walk into the kitchen to grab some cookies and a glass of milk (cause I’m allowed to do that here, bitches) and walk back in searching for the adventure book I was reading earlier…I forgot what it was called, heard it had a bad ending though, despite the awesome beginning and middle, dood. We did however hear a sonic boom coming from nowhere, causing me to jump, “Jesus Christ, dood!” I cry, dood. “Wait, Earth curses translated to Equestria curses in mind…if people say Sweet Celestia or Luna in place of God…would they say Twilight Sparkle or Mi Amore Cadenza in place of Jesus Christ?” Super Pal asked; Twilight gave us the weirdest looks from that. I just shrug. “Mi Amore Cadenza sounds like a mouthful, dood. And being a brony-prinny, I’m probably more inclined to say Twilight Sparkle if I would. But I think earth bronies use Luna’s name in vain in place of the prophet guy, dood.” We stopped being filler in this chapter long enough to exit the library to see a pissed off red headed guy…this means: Yeah…Overlord Zetta, dood. “I have come, little weaklings. If you return my daughter to me immediately, I’ll make sure you all die quickly.” He bellowed, scared the shit out of us, dood. We watched Rainbow Dash fly over to confront him, like a cocky mare that she is, dood. “Who do you think you are threatening my town?” She yelled, Zetta slapped her, and she was sent flying so fast, she made five sonic rainbooms before we lost visual of her, dood. “Anyone else think they can take me?” Zetta challenged, I took a gander around; it’s good to see that no pony decided that growing a pair was more important than life, dood. He looked down to see Petta and Twilight standing next to each other, Petta holding his book; he scowled and floated down, his energy creating a crater below him as he landed on what I think is ground level, walking towards Lady Sparkle and Petta. He readied a bolt of energy, but was forced to release it as a lightning bolt zapped him. He turned to see Gigavolt standing their defiantly. “You got guts, little one. Too bad you’re going to bee seeing it all over this pitiful village.” Zetta said, charging the Demon-pony, Gigavolt manged to barely dodge a strike, and counter with a shockwave and a teleport away from Ponyville. Twilight and Petta gave chase to make sure that Gigavolt was okay with fighting the badass overlord, only to find him beating her into the dirt. “You thought you were strong? What a laugh.” He said, he tossed Gigavolt into the air and used his Badass Overdrive Skill, where he like attacks super fast than punches her so hard a small black hole appears and sucks her in…and it implodes on her, dood. “Ow” Gigavolt barely said, spitting blood. “Still alive? Must be a pretty strong demon, but still far no match for me.” (Gigavolt is Level is 2409, Overlord Zetta is Level 5087, statistically, Gigavolt is hanging on by 4 HP) Gigavolt is struggling to get on her hooves, only to fall back down, Zetta charges another blast to dispose of the lesser demon. “Wait!” Twilight called out, Zetta stopped and turned his attention to Lady Sparkle, dood. “And you want to challenge me too? You stink of fear.” Zetta said, turning to confront Twilight, his steps making Twilight less and less sure of interrupting him as he approached, dood. “Father, this is my friend, Twilight Sparkle. We have been studying your book, and I hope that’s okay.” Petta said, hoping to do her father proud, dood. “A weakling like this? Reading from MY spellbook? I bet she’s now retarded from reading one spell from MY book.” Zetta said, putting emphasis on HIS words, dood. “Watch this, Twilight Beam!” Twilight said, grazing even more off the mountain side with her eye lasers. Zetta was intrigued, dood. “A mortal…learned my signature attack? Sure it’s pathetically weak, but it’s my attack.” Zetta said, sounding more impressed than pissed, dood. “Are you disappointed in me, father?” Petta asked, on the verge of tears, dood. “O-of course not, but why is my book here?” The Overlord asked, struggling to maintain his badass façade, dood. “Because I made a friend and a Overlord told me that demons relish solitude, so eventually I may have to destroy her, and I don’t want to do that.” Petta cried, tears slowly fell from her eyes, dood. Twilight put a hoof on Petta’s back to comfort her, dood. “Look Petta, it’s time to get back to the Netherworld, you still got your training, and besides…you may have made a new rival here.” Zetta claimed, I swear a big neon sign that said ‘Tsudere’ popped up above him, but Gigavolt was KOed at the moment, dood. “You mean, when I become a Overlord like you, I can come back and have a epic duel with my new friend that would destroy the universe?” Petta said, sounding rather hopeful and Twilight being very scared. “Of course Petta, but you still need to train. And so does your friend, it would be no fair to destroy her now, no challenge.” He punctuated that point by poking Twilight make her fly thirty feet away, dood. “See? Now let’s go home.” Petta walked with her father through a portal, but before that she turned around and yelled “Miss Twilight, please become stronger so that we can have the best friendly rivalry in existence, far greater than the rivalry between my father and Lord Valvatorez, Thank you for your hospitality.” She yelled, waving goodbye to the purple mare, dood. Twilight gave a comforting sigh as she got up to help Gigavolt. Gigavolt opened her eyes, but lacked the strength to move. “Twilight…get a lot of soft pillows and mattresses…gather them...and place them five feet east of me…” She gasped, still trying to fight off a horrific beating, spitting blood everywhere, dood. “You have ten minutes” Twilight nodded and levitated the demon pony to me, dood. “Make sure Gigavolt is alright.” Twilight ordered us, dood. We give her a salute as we watch what was suppose to be a evil mare and ask ourselves “the hell, dood?” “Must be a sight…to see me like this…I think Equestria…is weakening me…” Gigavolt muttered, we do feel a little bad that she got her shit beaten out of her for trying to save Twilight. But eww, dood. Twilight came back with a lot of ponies with lots of pillows, and placed them near the crater Zetta made for Gigavolt, and they waited. “What are we waiting for?” One villager asked, dood. “Rainbow” Gigavolt said, blood dripping from her mouth as she said it, dood. As Gigavolt said it, we all saw flashing rainbow lights from above as Rainbow landed in the large pile of soft stuff, she destroyed it all and made Gigavolt’s crater larger. Rainbow struggled to get up but when she finally got onto her hooves, she turned right around and vomited, before passing out, dood, the sky was raining feathers from the pillows Rainbow destroyed. “Wow…she still has her skin…rather durable pony…she is.” Gigavolt muttered, finally passing out. The ponyville ponies started to return to their homes, Applejack and Pinkie waked over to us, as Twilight levitated Rainbow Dash over. “We’ll let them rest in the library, after we dress Gigavolt’s wounds and clean Rainbow Dash a bit.” Twilight said, as she headed to her home, AJ and Pinkie followed suit to help Twilight out, and of course we prinnies followed too, I know we don’t do much beyond chores…but we are prinnies, dood. You throw us and we die, and Zetta knows this, so we can’t fight him very well. I kinda fell asleep first though, So I don’t know what happened afterwords, dood… (insert burp here, dood) Next Episode! Super Pal: Super Pal here, cause I wanted you guys to know how the Demon Brony Community works, dood. Rainbow Dash: This ought to be interesting. Super Pal: There are the Six main groups, each representing the Mane6: Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie, dood. Pinkie Pie: I bet my demony club throws the BEST parties! Super Pal: There are smaller groups dedicated to other ponies like Trixie, Celestia, DJ Pon3 and such, dood. Super Pal: The Twilight Sparkle group is a group that values knowledge over anything else, and spends nearly evey waking hour reading books in their fortress of books; these demons are known to be rather passive aggressive, and never start fights. They also consist of some of the most powerful magic users in the Netherworld! This group is lead by a Magic Knight named Titania, dood. Twilight Sparkle: Wow, a fortress of books! Super Pal: The Rainbow Dash group is warmongering group, always challenging something or someone. They alone destroyed the fan clubs dedicated to Gilda, the Wonderbolts, and Zecora. They're most Impressive victory was taking down the Titanic Fan Club dedicated to Derpy Hooves, dood. If you don't acknowledge that Rainbow Dash is the best pony, they execute you. They are lead by a Gunner named Eye, the Greatest Sniper. Rainbow Dash: Wow, I like their beliefs, but isn't that kinda rough? Super Pal: The Applejack Fan Club used to be real small, but eventually consumed Hades Primary source of edible vegetation, now they have a monopoly on anything that grows. They are like the Twilight Sparkle Fan Club that they don't attack first, but they are super strong physically, they snap mountains in half with their pinkie toes. They are lead by a Heavy Knight called Granite, but he had a Dark Assembly meeting recently to change it to "Heavy Macintosh", dood. Applejack: I like to hear that some demons take farming seriously, but to snap mountains in two? And what's a pinkie toe? Super Pal: The Fluttershy group has never been know to fight, ever...despite being the Netherworld's Best Assassins. They are also very good with monsters, and treat them with more respect than they usually get. These guys are the reason why the Gilda Fan club is gone, they hired several of these Fluttershy Lovers to assassinate the Gilda Fan Club leader in retribution for yelling at her in the first season on the show, dood. The leader is a Kunoichi called Buttermilk, we found it funny because she actually a cup size larger than normal Kunoichis, dood. Fluttershy: A-assassins? I don't think I like that very much, the animal part was okay, though. Super Pal: The Rarity Fan Club are all about making the Netherworld FABULOUS, they were actually the ones who made Petta's outfit for Disgaea 4, they also believe that if you can't stay in the trend of what's hot and what's not, you are killed for being UN-fabulous. They are lead by a Archer girl that calls herself Fashion Princess Lora, dood. Rarity: These demons must have excellent taste, Petta's dress was exquisite. Super Pal: The Pinkie Pie group are party animals that not even the Rainbow Dash group will approach, mostly because they are experts in torture. They make party favors out of the body parts of their victims and make them smile and laugh and have fun while they die slowly. The leader, a berserker named Ripjaw, loves Sergeant Sprinkle's Cupcake's fic so much, that its pretty much the Fan Club's bible. But if they are not trying to kill you, they throw the best parties in the Netherworld, dood, And by the way...this group is responsible for the destruction of the following fan clubs: Lyra Heartstrings, Breaburn, Cutie Mark Crusaders, and Spike. Even the Rainbow Dash fan club were impressed with the downfall of the Spike Fan club, since it was pretty big, dood. Pinkie Pie: I don't think the torture part was very fun...dood. Spike: I had a fan club? And Pinkie's Fan Club destroyed it mercilessly? Super Pal: And that is the mane clubs of the Netherworld for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, dood. Twilight Sparkle: I don't think I want to go to the Netherworld. Fusion Fool: If you do, make sure you go to the Sparkle Library, you'll be treated like a god, dood. ~dood~[/hr] The change of pace with the Next Episode thing was last minute since I couldn't think of something. But I FINALLY SOMEHOW MANAGED A NIS CAMEO..despite how lame it came and went...Thank you for reading. Oh and I made the first several chapters EASIER to read...they don't look like odd blocks of text no mores, dood. (Sorry for that, dood.) Prinny Short, The Fall of King Sombra the first time, dood.My first thoughts of the circular staircase in the season primer of Season 3. Try to enjoy, with the best Bad Poker Face you can manage, I won't judge, dood. ~dood~[/hr] ~dood~[/hr] We, the prinnies, have prepared an accurate documentation of the Crystal Kingdom’s past, during King Sombra’s reign, dood. ~dood~[/hr] King Sombra sat upon his throne, a content smile on his face as his vassals served him, hoof over hoof. One of his magistrates foolishly dared to approach his royal throne. “Your highness, the stairs you have commissioned is complete.” He said, his gaze never leaving the ground. “Excellent, with the stairs complete and the enchantments in place; I can never be defeated by the promised one.” He cackled. He rose from his throne and strode to a window to gaze over his kingdom. “The Promised One?” The magistrate said; a spark of hope in his eyes, along with the various servants in the throne room. “Yes, a savior that will overthrow me, but he has one weakness. One exploit that he can never overcome... Stairs.” King Sombra said; everypony in the room gave their tyrant a confused stare; one maid nearly said are you serious? as he continued his vigilant gaze over what is his. “There he is!” Sombra said, as a small yellow spec started to move quickly towards the castle. “KING SOMBRA! YOUR END HAS COME!” said the small yellow spec as he continued his journey. “Claptrap…” Sombra muttered, moving towards the main castle’s entrance. He stared at the castle doors as the yellow box pushed his way past them with great difficulty. “As a favor to all my loyal fans, I have come to end your reign of terror! Have at thee!” Claptrap exclaimed, rushing at the evil king, only to trip and fall into the stairs. “Stairs? Ponies use stairs?” Claptrap muttered, his optic sensor trying to give an angry glare at the black stallion above him. “You monster!” Sombra let out an evil laugh as his adversary’s pathetic lack of legs. “That’s right; these stairs have 50,000 steps and infinite looping magic that would make Bowser’s staircase in Super Mario 64 look like a quick run to the bathroom. Suffer, you pathetic robotic wheel-beast.” “I will return, and I will have minions to stop you! Or Carry me up there to fight you, robot to pony!” Claptrap cried, leaving the castle behind him, oil dripping from his lens. “With Claptrap gone, I can never be stopped!” Sombra gloated with his fangs ~~and stuff~~. He strode to his throne to plan his next evil move. ~dood~[/hr] A bright light and noise woke King Sombra from his slumber; walking to his window he saw his nemesis, Claptrap, below him, with two female alicorns at his side. “I have brought minions to end your reign of terror, you stairs-loving bastard.” Claptrap roared as the two alicorn’s horns began to shine an incredibly bright light. “Well, that sucks.” Sombra muttered, he turned to see a few of his servants yawning and asking him what’s going on. “So, good news and bad news, loyal slaves.” Sombra said; the ponies looked up the tyrant with a quizzical look. “Bad news is, I am about to get my plot handed to me by two alicorn mares.” The ponies smiled in delight upon hearing this. “Good news is; all your asses are cursed to be forever depressed because I hid the Crystal heart and stuff.” The ponies’s smiles turned to despair. “Get used to that look, you and your descendants will be wearing that forever.” Sombra finished as two beams of light hit him in the back of the head, and caused him to disappear into a black vapor. ~dood~[/hr] “Congratulations, you are a moron.” Gigavolt said, dood. Getting up to leave the library. “It’s all true, dood. You can’t disprove that!” I says, dood. It was true. They all know it. “What exactly is Claptrap? And what made you want to tell this story in the first place?” Twilight asked; I don’t know if she was giving me a confused face or a face that said are you stupid?, dood. “Claptraps are robots from Borderlands, dood. They may not be as lovable as a prinny, but they are pretty cool, dood!” I answer, because it’s true, dood. “And cause you asked about the crystal empire, dood. All 100% fact, dood.” “Princess sent us a letter saying that Fusion Fool is ‘full of manure’, I can’t argue with royalty.” Spike said, holding an open scroll. “It’s the truth…don’t deny it, ever, dood.” ~dood~[/hr] ~dood~[/hr] This is a short, meaning this is something I thought up in 30 minutes and wrote in 30 minutes....and read for mistakes in 15 minutes. 25000000 hel says you all spam the dislike button till your index finger bleeds, dood. Justice vs. Corruption, dood,This is it, dood. Hell is coming to drop a bomb upon us…and the only thing I can do to stop this carnival of endless destruction that would make Discord cringe and Nightmare Moon look on and say “I want my mommy”, the one thing that I must do to end this hatred… is roll a natural 20, dood. 3, attack missed and the manticore is now using my head as a chewtoy…crap, dood. Oh right, Twilight had an Equestrian copy of Dungeon and Dragons that’s called “Princess Quest”, I was once a mighty warrior that could bend steel with his pinkie, but the manticore that rolled a 17 decided to do that to me, dood; while Super Pal keeps rolling 20s like it’s the only number on that die. Quick rolecall, dood: I’m currently a rotting corpse, Super Pal is a dagger rogue with a horseshoe up his succubi love-hole, Spike is a Paladin where he vows to save Rarity from whatever the game master throws at us, Chocolate was a mage that casts ice and thunder spells, and Lady Sparkle is the game master. We have been at this for 3 hours so far, and Twilight is making sure that if we die, we get the graph and spreadsheet on how we failed so bad and what we could do to save our asses in the form of a lecture, but it wasn’t that bad, dood. I got up to make a snack for everyone because I’m technically dead, and the dead can leave their seat to grab snacks, dood. As a Prinny, why should I let that offer slide, dood? I enter the Kitchen of the library to grab some of the cookies that Chocolate made earlier with Pinkie, and took them back to the circle of RPG-ness. This is a slow game, dood. Spike is trying to get his shield engraved with Rarity’s cutie mark, Super Pal is hoarding the consumables like any variety of dragon that comes to mind, and Chocolate is trying to pick fights with the townsfolk of a board game, it’s like taunting the houses or the hotels in monopoly, why bother, dood? Twilight is having some fun, dood. But her OCD is acting up trying to get everyone to pay attention to what she has to say, dood. Last time this happened, Twilight just randomly shouted “Meteor Shower” and everyone shut up and rolled to see if they would survive…only Super Pal survived, until Twilight sent the Radiation Cockroaches after him and found out that they have a radiation tick that can’t be avoided and killed him in seconds, dood. Makes me wonder what catastrophe will happen to get the players to stop acting like kids… or get Spike to act like he’s older than what he actually is, dood. Our game was interrupted by Rainbow Dash crashing through the open window and landing on me, dood. Yea…she still broke the window, dood. “Hey Twilight, Applejack found something weird in her orchard…it looks like one of the prinnies.” She said, and zoomed out of the library like she’s some sort of badass, dood. We quickly followed her…to the best of our ability… Can you keep up with someone that probably has her teeth lined with Accelerators, dood? (Don’t let her know about the Accelerators, please dood.) One sprint later (we didn’t say anything we just ran, dood) we found Applejack, Big Mac, and Rainbow Dash surrounding something. Twilight moves next to them to look at the ULO (Unidentified. Lying. Object) and shifted a bit to let us look at whatever it was, dood. Now, if you were a prinny… you would respect this guy so much that you would call him “Big Brother” because he is the badass we prinnies need, and don’t deserve. Kurtis, The 38th Defender of Earth, dood. But he seemed to be out cold, though, so it’s hard to be awe-struck with greatness when the object of such greatness is lying in a apple orchard, dood. “Hey Fusion, do you know this guy?” Applejack asked me, dood. “That’s Green Brother, dood. He’s a legend among us prinnies. He has no master, and he strong enough to go up against overlords that don’t abuse Mt. Ordeal 4 and walk away like a champ, dood.” I gush, dood. Even Chocolate and Super Pal are like totally, dood. “And if they do abuse this ‘Mt. Ordeals 4’ place?” Twilight inquired, dood. I let out a sigh, dood. “Then he gets stomped like anyone else not named Tyrant Overlord Baal or Pringer X, dood.” It’s true though…Mt. Ordeal is a godsend for aspiring Overlords. Everyone that is a scared little girl in the area (Myself, the other prinnies, and sorta-kinda Spike) jumped and made a small scream when we all notice the green prinny twitch. Applejack and Rainbow Dash helped the poor guy onto her back as they carried him into the farmhouse, dood. “What do you know about Green Brother?” Twilight asked, everyone giving me all the attention, dood. “His name is Kurtis, he was a cyborg-human guy that worked with the EDF to take over the netherworld a long time ago as the ‘38th Defender of Earth’, he was defeated by Overlord Laharl and his vassals, dood. But in the end, his rival, Captain Gordon, taught him what it truly means to be a Defender of Earth, and Kurtis sacrificed himself to save the Netherworld, dood…he came back as a prinny because of the sins he committed while working in the EDF.” I stop for a moment to check if everyone caught up. “What’s a cyborg?” Spike asked, dood. “Cyborgs are people or ponies that replace a lot of their body with mechanical parts, either because they are insane or because they lost their old limbs and science decided to give them back, dood. Kurtis lost 70% of his body in an explosion that killed his wife and daughter, so he became a defender for the wrong reasons and became a prinny when he died, dood.” I continued, dood. “Ouch, that’s rough. Poor little fella.” Applejack said, it appears that she had just placed Kurtis on the couch behind her with a blanket over him and joined us, dood. “Well, he’s a good guy now, dood. And all prinnies look up to him, dood.” Super Pal chimed in, the prinnie sin the room nod in agreement, dood. The couch moved again behind us, when the badass behind us got up, his cold eyes searched the room for anything familiar, I guess dood. “Where am I?” He asked, dood. “Howdy there, Mister Kurtis. You’re in Sweet Apple Acres.” Applejack explained. Kurtis looked her dead in the eyes and she took a few steps back, dood. “Sweet Apple Acres? I didn’t think those demons took their fascination of a human child’s television show so seriously. Dress up like ponies, that's absurd.” He said, everyone NOT from the netherworld looked super confused, dood. He looked around to see me, Super Pal, Chocolate sitting down, dood. “Prinnies? I thought Heavy Macintosh hated prinnies.” He said, getting off the couch, dood. “Dood, you’re not in the Netherworld…you’re in Equestria.” Chocolate says slowly. Kurtis stopped for a moment slowly walked to the window to see that the usually rotten sky of the netherworld that we all remember it being…is actually a clean, clear blue sky, dood. “But this place is a marketing ploy to sell plastic ponies, how does this place exist?” He asked, you can so hear the gears moving in his head, dood. “Whatever happened to that ‘Prinny Rule Number One’ that these guys go crazy not to screw up?” Rainbow Dash asked, we all look at her with a critical eye…cause that remark wasn’t funny, dood. “Because I think it’s a ridiculous rule, and I will not abide by it.” Kurtis answered, Rainbow Dash looked at us wondering why we don’t just stop as well, dood. “You try dropping a habit that was nailed into your skull for 800 years, dood.” Chocolate remarked, going all angry eyes on the blue mare, dood. “May I ask why you are here?” Twilight asked him, he regarded her about as much as he regards anyone, dood. “I was called upon by Miss Artina to locate a rogue Prinny that escaped the Netherworld by blackmailing the dimension guide with free passage to a unknown location.” He said, dood. A glint shone in his eyes, dood. “With that said, how did these prinnies get here?” He interrogated (he asked like a interrogator would ask someone, dood, I dunno if it’s a word). “We came here months ago, dood. We paid that dimension guide lady and she let us come here. Ever since then we were employed under Lady Sparkle, dood.” I answered him, dood. “It’s not you then, this prinny escaped earlier in the week. You prinnies will assist me in finding this prinny. I don’t know the area very well and will need a guide.” Kurtis ordered, we all just salute, looking like we all shit bricks, dood. “We can help too; we can start our search tomorrow morning when we gather the girls.” Twilight said, Applejack and Rainbow Dash nodded in agreement, Spike nodded as well, hard to get excited about that though, dood. “Very well, I’m going to scout around to make sure the area is secure.” Kurtis said, he opened the door leading out of the house and took off at what looks like Rainbow Dash’s speed, dood. Rainbow Dash didn’t like him already, I can tell, dood. We all met at the library where Fluttershy was holding our Green Brother like he was a Teddy bear, dood. It was hilarious. “Someone tell this crazy mare, I’m not adorable.” He protested, the mares were giggling, but we prinnies didn’t find it funny, dood. “Oh, but you are. The way you act all tough and yet look so cute, is just precious.” Fluttershy said, there was still giggling and confused prinnies in the library’s foyer, dood. “Release me so that I can brief you all on the situation.” He commanded, the yellow mare reluctantly did so, but still rubbed his head with her hoof, dood. “Anyways, there is a prinny that escaped into this land early in the week. According to the description given to me, he is a black prinny with red eyes and metal scraps attached to his body, his name is “Mr. Shiny” but he has only been known to answer to the name ‘Sombra’.” Collective gasps from the ponies, dragon, and the prinnies that watched the Season 3 premier, dood. “According to his statistics Artina gave me: He is a level 10 Private Prinny with a level 3 Crab Claw, lv. 1 Powerful Jacket, level 4 Power Belt, and a stolen lv. 10 Cosmo Muscle. Evility is Explosive Nature. He has 5 known abilities: Prillin Bomb, Star, Enfeeble, Mind Break, and Slumber. Capturing or subduing him will be extremely simple it appears.” He finished, the ponies and dragon were still shocked…the prinnies were on the verge of laughing, dood. “So we are dealing with a weak prinny with a lot of health? Even with that, we can just throw him and send him back to the netherworld that way, dood.” Chocolate chuckled, dood. “Yea seriously, dood. Sure he had a cool design but, he has about as much character as a turnip, He went from dumb My Little Pony baddie to weakest prinny boss, dood, Gilda’s a better villain then him, dood.” Super Pal added, he fell over laughing by the way, dood. “He’s no Chrysalis or Discord, dood. That’s for sure. He only had 5 lines of dialogue; he is so sad, dood.” I cried…cause I was laughing so hard, dood. The equestrian citizens of the room were super confused by our actions... Maybe it’s because we regarded some of their biggest villains like they were there next door neighbor dood. “Indeed, He is rather weak; but remember none of us can lift him, we are all monster class, meaning we can’t lift others. We will have to deal with his large health pool.” Kurtis said, Ponies are super confused now, and we all sigh in defeat, dood. “Gigavolt is a pony, and she threw that Kamikaze prinny into a pit.” Rainbow Dash said, Kurtis shook his head, dood. “Gigavolt changed the rules around her, and is technically a ‘human’ class demon. Most demons consider this cheating the laws of nature, but when did demons ever care about laws?” Our Green Bro explained, “but if Gigavolt is here, then we can get her to assist us if we are adamant on throwing Sombra to exploit the Evility weakness.” “Gigavolt moved back to the Netherworld because she caught herself helping a pony in need and asked for no reward, dood.” I said, took her three minutes to figure out what she did, and when she did, she flipped, dood. She went as far as blowing up her workshop, just so ponies couldn’t use her old place or find a use for anything she may have left behind, dood. I bet she is running around desperate to kill other demons so she can act more like one again, dood. “Why don’t I just throw him, I beat him once before…I can totally, do it again.” Spike proclaimed, flexing his muscles, dood. “You won’t be able to, you are classified as a monster, kid.” Kurtis explained, you know that meme that has that guy looking at you funny like you’re a retard…Yea, dood. So anyways, Kurtis’ plan is to search the Everfree Forest, the more cowardly of us didn’t like the idea, but Kurtis said it was fine and that Everfree is home to some of the weakest monsters he has ever encountered. He even showed us where he vaporized a pack of Timberwolves, dood. The girls were still scared of any attacks that may happen…as was Super Pal since he’s a coward that by all means should be able to take down the Ursa Major, but too busy relieving himself of any pride he had, dood. We came across the Castle of the pony sisters as we see a black dot on the top of the castle’s tower. “Fools.” He says with his one-liners, he descends upon us, trying to look like a boss, dood. “You cannot hope to defeat me with the power I have gained.” Sweet Mother of Overlord Baal, he spoke more than one word, dood. “Mr. Shiny, you will be returning to the Netherworld, you still have a contract in Celestia.” Kurtis declares, Cue group eyebrow raise, dood. “The land of angels, dood. Not the Sun Princess.” Super Pal whispers, dood. “You believe I will return to a worthless land where they force royalty to wash dishes? Absurd.” Sombra spat, dood. “I will use my new found powers to end you, and make those ponies my slaves.” Everyone gets to battle formations that no one said anything about, with Kurtis at point, to fight this horror from the Crystal Kingdom, dood. The ponies or Sombra can’t see it but, even with the Cosmo Muscle, he only has 234510 health. “You think you can defeat me? You're nowhere near my level of skill.” Kurtis taunts. Sombra looked confused by this, unaware that he is going up against a lv. 5700 Defender of Earth, dood. Sombra lunges at Kurtis and hits him with his knives, dealing zero damage, dood. Counter Kurtis hit him back for 9582394 damage, expecting a epic fight, did ya, dood. I looked back to see Twilight holding her head with her hoof, “Why can’t prinnies ever make sense?” I don’t blame her, dood. “Thank you for your assistance, if you excuse me. I must be returning. Farewell.” Kurtis said, dood, as he flew off. “How is he so fast?” Rainbow Dash asked, Super Pal put a flipper on her shoulder, dood. “He's equipped with an accelerator, an item that makes you move really, really fast, dood.” Super Pal explained, dood. By now…all the ponies are trying to mentally register everything that just happened. The next day, the Mane6 and Spike took a day off from doing stuff just to continue trying to mentally absorb what the netherworld has taught them this chapter. So it fell to me to write a letter to Princess Celestia. Dear Princess Celestia I have learned that if you encounter something that is even more bizarre then what is commonly thought as bizarre, then you should try and just let it slide or it will give you a killer headache. I also learned that I suck at pacing as I have been telling my story to any who would listen, and Lyra keeps fixing my mistakes, which is cool, dood. I also learned that if you are vile enemy of Equestria in life, you are so screwed when you die, because you become so super weak, dood. The final thing I learned is that a prinnies view of ‘Badass’ translates to ‘adorable’ to everyone else, dood. Which is super weird. Twilight’s faithful servant, dood. Fusion Fool the Third Next Episode! Fusion Fool: Ponyville is under attack, dood! Twilight: Kay. Fusion Fool: The Evil Creature that I can't name has taken Rarity captive, dood! Rarity: Switching ships, are we? Fusion Fool: It's up to Sparkling Desperado to shoot this monster in the face...and save Rarity, dood. Twilight: I don't have fingers, and why did you pause in that line? Chocolate: Sparkling Desperado, dood? Really? Fusion Fool: With her wicked fast reflexes, that monster doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell, dood. Even with the constant badgering of her long time rival "Dead-eye Trixie" Super Pal: Why no Twixie, dood? Chocolate: He doesn't like Trixie, dood. Trixie: "Dead-Eye Trixie", Not a bad name, but "Great and Powerful" will always be mine. Fusion Fool: Final Episode! "The Lone Unicorn vs. Godzilla, the revegance" The bullet of justice and destruction will pop a cap in yo ass, dood! Pinkie: You are so out of ideas, 'dood' Fusion Fool: (sigh) yea, dood. I am. Author's Note Second final chapter, for two reasons, dood. Firstly: I keep forgetting about this cause of other things, dood. Secondly: I have a new idea I wanna do that actually going to be rather serious(as in I'm going to put ALOT more thought into it then I would for this...which is a collection of random stories that I think up on the fly and hope people enjoy, dood. So, Yea...I make you guys wait forever and you get this, I'm sorry, dood. Edit: I found out I suck at grammar I'mma going to try and make the final chapter ACTUALLY BETTER THEN THIS ONE...and well, do stuff, dood. I can't on good conscience stop anyone from buying torches and pitchforks to kill me over this, dood. Bring a bucket for this one, dood.We are all seriously confused here, dood. Protip for this chapter, dood. You may need a bucket for vomiting at bad character development. We got a letter from Princess Celestia that her 3rd cousin (twice removed)’s nephew is coming over to learn ‘Friendship’ from Lady Sparkle, dood. Twilight didn’t know that Celestia had a cousin, dood. But apparently he is some sort of power house from the distant islands. But I was sure that ‘Prince Dark Nebula’ was an okay pony, shame his name sounds like an overused OC with no character, dood. So as we got things ready, we heard an explosion coming from outside. Being the badass I hope she can be, Twilight was the first outside, dood. With me, the last two remaining prinnies, and Spike following behind, dood. The smoke cleared and a pony emerged from the crater he made in town. He was a rather large alicorn, about Luna’s size; His coat was black and his mane was a very dark red and had a floaty feel to it. I took one look at the guy and thought ‘emo’, dood. “Are you Twilight Sparkle?” He asked, which makes me assume he is the ‘Prince’ we were waiting for, dood. Lady Sparkle likes to meet new ponies, so meeting an Alicorn was a plus for her. “Yes, I take it you must be Dark Nebula, please…” He disregarded her and walked into the library. “Come this way," she finished, dood. Twilight’s friends were here quickly to see the commotion. “What in hey was that, that pony just blew a hole in town, he coulda hurt somepony!” Applejack yelled, running past everypony to confront the Prince, dood. “Why should I care, it’s not my town” Was all he said. This caused him to piss Applejack off a bit more. “Who do you think you are, mister?” Applejack continued to yell, only to be pushed back away from the Cloud Strife-knockoff by Pinkie, dood. “You are here to learn how to be friends with others, and that wasn’t very friendly, Black Nebula,” Twilight said, the prince shrugged it off, like the emo bitch that he was, dood. “This isn’t my land; it’s none of my concern,” he muttered, I was starting to get angry and reached into my fannypack for my trusty Shotgun (it’s a Jakobs by the way) only for Pinkie to push it back in, dood. “You are a guest here, and your mother, and her cousin both expect you to act like guest in another pony’s country,” Well said, Lady Sparkle…I mean Twilight said, dood. “Yea, just because you’re an alicorn, doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want,” Rainbow Dash got all up in his grill to shout that shit, dood. “I’m sure this fascinating stallion has quite the story to share for another time,” Rarity said, you can hear struggle to say the word ‘fascinating’, dood. “It’s my life, you don’t need to know,” He spoke in a tone that sounded like he was butthurt in the past, dood. “Well I hope you have lots of fun in Ponyville. Don’t forget to come by Sugarcube Corner later for your party, Mister Grumpy Alicorn,” Pinkie said before hopping out the door, dood. The rest of Twilight's friends gave her a worried look, dood. “It’ll be fine; he just needs to be brought out of his shell,” She said, I took a look at him and thought that he was one of those hollow chocolate rabbits that you accidentally left outside during the winter, hard exterior with nothing inside, dood. “If this pony gives you trouble, come let us know sugarcube,” Applejack said, walking out the door, with Fluttershy whimpering beside her. Rainbow Dash gave the Alicorn one last glare before flying back out, dood. “Applejack is right, dear. I know you have the prinnies and Spikey but if you ever need help with this gentlecolt,” Rarity said, she visibly shuddered when she gave him one last look before leaving, dood. Lady Sparkle turned to her guest who was rolling a pencil under his hoof, dood. “Okay, Black Nebula. Let’s begin!” ~dood~[/hr] We have spent days, and the only thing he learned was how to greet other ponies before disregarding them, dood. I did how ever notice him checking out Lady Sparkle out a few times and I tried to pull out my Jakobs but was stopped EVERY TIME by Super Pal or Chocolate, “Give the guy a chance, dood. If we find him in Lady Sparkle’s bed, then we kill him,” Chocolate said, making me hope I can catch him before doing anything that involves Twilight’s bed, or Lady Sparkle herself, dood. I kinda walk up to him, dood. Wanting to give him more character as I write this. “So, Dark Nebula, dood. How are ya?” I said. “I’m fine, still trying to contemplate my death?” He asked, dood. I wasn’t making it out to be a big secret so… “Only if you get any funny ideas, dood,” I answered, he leered towards me, dood. “Listen, ‘dood’ I love Twilight with all my heart, and a little penguin will not stop me,” He whispered threateningly…that a word, dood? “You’ve known her for 4 days, dood. And you spent most of that looking out the window, bored,” I said, I don’t think he heard me, because he was looking out the bloody window, dood. “I have my reasons, twerp,” He snarled at me, dood. I try to look out the window as well to find he was staring at Applejack, now. “Why are you looking at Applejack now, dood?” I asked; his jimmies are getting rustled so good, dood. “I love Applejack with all my heart, and who are you to say that I can’t look at the ponies I love?” He nearly yelled at me, I turned to see that Twilight did a complete 180 back into the kitchen, dood. I think he saw it too, because he ran after her, dood. I followed closely behind the guy cause every fight needs a ref, dood. found Twilight and Super Pal making tea. “I’m sorry you had to hear that Twilight, but it’s true,” He walked up and hugged the purple unicorn from behind, I noticed a cringe from her. “I love you, Applejack, and Fluttershy with all my heart, I now realize why Celestia asked me to come here, to find you.” Remember that bucket I asked you to get? I think the time to use it is now. “That’s nice of you to say, Dark Nebula, and I’m flattered that you find me attractive, but I’m…” DATE RAPE! He kissed Twilight hard, but I wanna say, THANK YOU FOR MAGIC, DOOD! Because she teleported out of his grasp coughing. He looked at what he had done and ran out the door, dood. “So Lady Sparkle, dood. On a scale of one to ten…” Super Pal inquired, dood. "Forget the scale; we need to find him to before he does something that could hurt him, or AJ and Fluttershy,” She cried, she ran out the door with me and Super Pal trying to keep up, dood. After some running, we found him staring down Big Mac at the farm, the big guy was standing his ground like a champ though, dood. “I wish to see Applejack, stand aside,” He ordered. “Nope,” Big Mac said, the Prince seemed to get all angry because he used his magic to throw Big Mac out of his way, and Twilight caught him and set him down, dood. “Thanks Miss Twilight.” “Don’t worry about it, we got to get to Dark,” Twilight said, all of us, including Big Mac just in case I screwed up that meaning, went after him, dood. We found him pinning Applejack to the ground, this got Big Mac all pissed, dood. He just shoulder checked the guy off. “Thanks Big Mac,” Applejack said getting off. “For the love of Overlord Baal, dood. Are you alright?” Super Pal yelled, running over to hug Applejack’s leg. “He didn’t bad touch you, did he dood?” “No, he just wanted me and him to run away back to his Kingdom and away from this ‘horrible’ town,” Applejack explained, we looked around to find that he was gone, dood. “We need to get to Fluttershy, quickly!” Twilight ordered, I don’t know how else to say it, so we just booked it, dood. We got to Fluttershy’s place, and found that Harry the Bear was knocked out, dood. We looked in to see a whimpering Fluttershy being cuddled by the Alicorn Abomination. “Sweet Celestia, how could I let Fluttershy rape into this, dood” I muttered under my breath but Big Mac tapped me on the back, dood. “The room doesn’t smell like intercourse, little fella,” He said, Thank you Lord, it’s just an awkward cuddling, dood. “Dark Nebula!” Twilight called out waking the Alicorn out of his nap. “How could you do this? You force me into a kiss, you pin Applejack to the ground, and now your scaring Fluttershy. What do you have to say for youself?” “I love my mares, my existence is meaningless without them. I know that Celestia wishes for me to rule Equestria one day, and she wishes for me to choose my brides, and I have. You, Applejack, and Fluttershy will stand by my side when I become king,” He said, dood. “This is already a bad fanfic, dood. But what you just said, makes no sense,” I said, walking up to him. He stopped cuddling Fluttershy by the way, dood. “Twilight was teaching you how to be a good friend, and she is the best pony after all so I can see why you would want to tap that, dood.” I can feel the two earth ponies and the unicorn glaring into the back of my skull, dood. “You met Applejack twice since you got here, once because she was angry about the crater you made when you got here, and again when Twilight asked you to demonstrate your ‘friend-making’ skills in which you asked for an apple, gave Applejack the money, and walked away, acting as if Applejack was the most boring pony on the planet, dood.” I could feel Applejack wanting to beat me up behind me, dood. “But you met Fluttershy once and she didn’t even introduce herself, nor did she try to make herself known to you, dood. You found out her name from Twilight when she was giving you an example, by using her own friends, dood.” “You don’t understand me, I am a prince!” He yelled, dood. He broke through the window and just flew off. “Should we go check the other three to be sure that he doesn’t date rape them, dood?” Super Pal asked, dood. “Applejack, Big Mac. You check on Pinkie. I’ll check on Rainbow Dash. Fusion Fool you go check on Rarity. Super Pal, stay here and help Fluttershy,” She ordered, Applejack and Big Mac nodded and ran out the door, dood. “Hah, I got the easy job, dood. I just need to sit here and pretend to be a stuffed animal for the cutest pony,” Super Pal mocked me, dood. He sat right in front of Fluttershy only to be grabbed and cuddled by the shy pegasus, lucky bastard, dood. Remembering I gotta prevent OC Alicorn rape, I ran out to make sure that Spike was making my job super easy, dood. ~dood~[/hr] It was super easy, dood. Spike said that Dark Nebula hasn’t stopped by to make Rarity feel dirty… in a bad way, dood. I reconvened back to the library to find a black envelope on the ground, dood. “What do you have there, Fusion Fool?” Twilight asked, floating the letter out of my flippers, dood. “Is this from Dark Nebula?” She opened to and read aloud; Dear Twilight Sparkle, My lord will be coming to visit you today to inspect your prinnies, to ensure that they are being objectified correctly as the tools that they are. Whether you are ready for us or not, is not our concern, but yours. Lord Valvatorez’ Letter Guy Badass Mcgee Oh shit, dood. Lord Valvatorez was coming, and we have a bland alicorn on the loose, dood! Twilight studied the letter carefully when she heard a knock on the door, dood. “Hello?” She asked. Before her stood two demons, dood. And here are their pictures, dood. It was Lord Valvatorez and his bitch, Master Fenrich, dood. “Are you Twilight Sparkle?” Valvatorez asked, dood. Twilight nodded, as he stepped forward to inspect me. “Why does this prinny look as if he has been to a spa?” He asked, dood. “Because I invited him, Chocolate, and Super Pal to join me and my friends last week, as a reward for working so hard,” Twilight answered, she was scared of this guy’s aura, and he put Nightmare Moon to shame with all the evil surrounding him. “You took them to the spa? You idiot, they are the filth of the human world; they do not need your sympathy, they need to be worked to the bone to earn their right to reincarnate under the Red Moon,” Fenrich added, Twilight jumped when he spoke, dood. “And who is Chocolate? We are aware that you have Fusion Fool the Third, a lazy human that wrote bad Clopfics then was beaten to death by someone that desired to have you, Twilight, to ‘catch’ more then you ‘pitched’. Super Pal, who was executed for pulling down the pants of a African Dictator, and Golden Shower, who murdered a few people and was shanked in a prison for trying to be the Prison Alpha,” Fenrich explained, dood. “I’ll ask what you meant by the catch and pitch thing later, but Super Pal and Chocolate really did those things?” Twilight muttered, sitting on her flanks, dood. “Indeed.” Valvatorez said, checking the kitchen. “Good, you have a sufficient amount of sardines in your refrigerator.” He took some of them and ate it, dood, “In excellent form too, Fenrich, ensure that I get my sardine supply from Equestria, they have an exquisite flavour.” “I will take note of that, my lord,” He said, walking over to the basement, dood. “At least she makes them sleep in dark among their own filth.” “Actually, they have blankets down there, and they clean after themselves too,” Twilight said, walking next to Fenrich, dood. “Blankets? Are you stupid? You shouldn’t spoil them, they have no right to be,” Fenrich yelled. Twilight friends along with Super Pal and Chocolate walked into the door, dood. “Are you saying you would allow a demon to stay here and eat your sardines?” Valvatorez asked, Twilight just nodded, dood. “My word, the lad was right. This world is more pleasant than Celestia!” “The land of angels, not the princess, dood” Super Pal said, getting several nods from the confused ponies, dood. “You can’t just intimidate my friend like that,” Rainbow Dash yelled at the vampire. The werewolf wasn’t pleased and was ready to turn the blue pegasus into glue, dood. “I don’t care who are you, sirs. But the prinnies worked hard to get here, and they are our friends, and they ain’t leaving,” Applejack said, she walked right next to the purple unicorn,dood. “Quite right, dear. They may have incited a few unnecessary things like that Gigavolt character but they have been dears helping us with whatever we needed to do,” Rarity said, stepping forward, dood. "If you don’t mind, but I think the prinnies should stay. They are just so cute, and they are nice and help me and other ponies around Ponyville,” Fluttershy squeaked, but I think both demons heard her though, dood. “Besides, Twilight gave them a Pinkie Promised that she’ll help them,” Pinkie said, dood. “A Pinkie Promise? What is that?” Valvatorez asked, walking over towards the party mare, dood. “A Pinkie Promise is a promise that you never want to break or it could mean the end of your friendship, FOREVER!” Pinkie explained; I knew this would save us, dood. “Forever? Truly a promise of such magnitude would bear a heavy burden upon the heart of young Twilight,” Valvatorez muttered, dood. Fenrich face-palmed in the back there. “Milord, that promise is possibly something the fools around here made up for themselves in hopes that it could save their pitiful ‘friendships’,” He explained, shit dood. “A promise is a promise, Fenrich. If we take these prinnies away, then we would have forced Twilight to break her promise. And who knows what kind of destructive consequences could happen,” Valvatorez explained, dood. “We shouldn’t care about a small purple unicorn, milord. And what’s the worst that could happen? She’ll eat a bucket of ice cream, read a book, or go outside for all we know,” Fenrich tried to reason, dood. “Nonsense, Fenrich. She made a vow to these prinnies, and we can not force her to break such bonds of friendship simply because we thought that she isn’t fit to order prinnies around. And this Pinkie Promise… this oath might destroy this world and the netherworld with the gravity of its weight should Twilight break it,” Valvatorez said, being super oblivious to his own drama, dood. “Very well, All is for my lord,” Fenrich grimaced and bowed, and there was a cheer among the ponies and prinnies in the room, dood. And a loud yell outside. We all rushed outside to see that there is a thunderstorm outside and Dark Nebula standing there, dood. “I have returned from my journey.” “Who is that, he appears to be lost, or confused,” Valvatorez asked, the alicorn took a step forward, the energy radiating from his hooves caused the ponies to take a step back, dood. “I am here to claim the mares that took my heart,” he said, he looked pissed, dood. “Good for you, I’m sure they would be delighted to see such a pitiful creature like yourself,” Fenrich said. He was clearly baffled by this colt, dood. “Who are you two? And why are you standing near my mares?” He snarled, he walked up to Valvatorez and glared at him. “I am Valvatorez, Prinny Instructor of Hades, and Leader of the Hades Party. Who might you be?” Valvatorez asked, he didn’t acknowledge the killing aura that the alicorn was sending out, dood. “I am Prince Dark Nebula, son of Radiant Comet the 64th, and nephew of her royal highness, Princess Celestia. And you better get away from MY MARES!” He yelled. Valvatorez took a hanky out of his jacket and wiped some of the saliva off his face. He took a glance at the ‘mares’ and find that they didn’t like the guy very much. “Please excuse me, but you are causing a disturbance with your idiocy. Leave now and we may not be forced to attack,” He commanded, only for Dark Nebula to breathe pure darkness as Valvatorez’s face, dood. The attack was shrugged off by the vampire, as he gave the alicorn a stern look. Fenrich however already had is hand around Dark Nebula’s neck. “You dare strike at my lord?” He snarled, strangling the black colt, dood. Twilight used her magic to separate Fenrich’s hand from Dark’s neck, dood. “Hold on, we don’t need to do this.” “Yes we do; they want a fight, they will have it, no one gets between me and the six mares that I love!” Dark Nebula said, flying up into the sky. Valvatorez just stood there dumbfounded, and kept that look when he was hit by the massive laser beam of death the Alicorn created from his horn, dood. “This is so stupid, dood,” Super Pal said, everypony except Twilight nodded, dood. "Did he just say 'six' mares that he loved?" Pinkie asked, we just shrugged, dood. "You think such a pathetic attack would work on an Overlord, lad?” Valvatorez said, shrugging off the attack. “I’ll show you.” The vampire summoned a big ass Laser sword, and jumped to meet Dark Nebula in the air, who also summoned a weird magic sword. The two clashed only to find that, Dark Nebula’s sword had no chance against Lord Valvatorez, and was easily beaten. Dark Nebula got up and flew back into the sky, crying, dood. “If I cannot have my mares, then no one can.” I think he was channeling Frieza now because he summoned a large energy ball of death, dood. Fenrich sighed and jumped far above everypony. Dark Nebula sent his attack sailing towards the library only for Valvatorez to disperse it easily, dood. Fenrich came back down to bury the alicorn underneath the FUCKING moon. “Next time, pick your battles wisely, whelp.” Fenrich muttered, jumping off the space rock. Everypony had their jaws on the ground and couldn’t do a thing because of how weird it is to have the moon in the center of Ponyville, dood. Needless to say, Luna and Celestia got here super quick when this happened. “Twilight, why is my sister’s moon in the center of town?” The solar monarch asked. Everypony pointed at Fenrich, dood. “What gives you the right to take our moon from its proper place?” Luna ordered, dood. “Excuse me, you highness. But I needed it to crush an annoying bug,” He answered, casually, dood. Twilight ran up to the princesses. “I’m sorry Princess, but I didn’t know they could do that, they are here to inspect the situation with the prinnies, and your nephew went berserk and fought them,” She was shushed by her mentor’s hoof, dood. “Dark Nebula?” Celestia nearly whispered, before using her magic to lift the moon off the black alicorn, dood. Luna took the moon out of her sister’s grasp and put it back in place. “Must you embarrass your mother like this?” She said, magically lifting the prince onto his hooves, dood. “But Aunt, they kept me from the loves of my life, help me smite them,” He begged, dood. “Not this again, remember when you attacked Shining Armor when you found out your cousin, Cadance married him? Don’t you ever learn?” She scowled, magically lifting him by his ear, dood. “I am truly sorry he acted like this, my dear student.” “Uh, it’s…alright?” Twilight said, not sure what to make of this situation, dood. Luna was currently yelling at Fenrich who was just told not to hit her by Valvatorez. Valvatorez however walked up to Celestia, dood. “You are the ruler of this land correct?” He asked, Celestia nodded, her smile returning. “I am Valvatorez, and I would like to know why you would allow your student to be ‘nice’ to the prinnies? They do not deserve the kindness of ponies. Promise me that you’ll ensure that they are worked harder to ensure that they reach reincarnation, I do not mean ‘baking’ and ‘common cleaning’, I mean scrubbing bathrooms, assassinating griffons or whatever your kind see as a foe, or even forcing them pave the streets a brilliant gold would be satisfactory; Promise me, Princess Celestia,” He ordered, dood. Princess though about what he said, and Rarity kinda wanted the last part to happen, dood. “While I cannot promise their chores will become more difficult as Equestria is a peaceful land, but I can promise that they will earn their right to reincarnate, by your rules,” She said, smiling. “But do promise me that your demons would not cause any more trouble here, I think the sudden arrival of my sister’s moon may have scared everypony.” “Only if your student stops with over paying them, one sardine every 20 hours of labour is sufficient,” He said, Celestia gave his words some thought before nodding in agreement, dood. I heard Chocolate mutter shit behind me, dood. He turned to Twilight and her friends. “Have these prinnies been following their most important rule?” He asked dood. “You mean the ‘dood’ rule? Yes they have,” Twilight answered. “Excellent,” he said, smiling. “Fenrich, we are leaving. Apologize for abusing the princess’ moon and let us be off,” he ordered, Fenrich snarled and muttered an apology form the angry blue alicorn, and they teleported out of there, dood. We all stood their thinking, 'what the fuck just happened, dood.?' Twilight was the first to recover, “I don’t think we should think too hard on that,” she said, we all nodded in agreement, dood. Me and the other two prinnies huddled together to discuss the current events, dood. “What are we going to do, dood? We are going to lose our cookie and apple pay, dood!” Super Pal panicked. “And we might be working harder, dood.” Chocolate muttered. I had to think carefully, dood; otherwise this would turn out bad. I turned to see Twilight and the princess talking, with Dark Nebula still being held by his ear, dood. Twilight walked over to us and smiled, “Sorta-good news and Bad news, guys.” Here it comes, dood. The sorta-good news is that I am sorta going to increase your workload but it won’t be that bad, you’ll just be completely taking over Spike’s duty of cleaning the library, which you do anyways. The bad news is that I will have to cut your pay to one sardine every 20 hours, but I’m sure Valvatorez won’t mind you guys having a snack every once in a while,” Twilight explained. We looked at each other and cheered “ALL HAIL LADY SPARKLE, DOOD!” Next Episode! Gigavolt: A lost unicorn in the depths of the Netherworld. Fusion Fool: What are you doing here, dood? Gigavolt: She finds herself locked in a civil war where her friends are being used as figure heads to motivate them into destroying the other. Twilight: This sounds odd. Gigavolt: She must ally herself with some demons to help her rescue her friends. Twilight: This doesn't sound like shipping. Gigavolt: Next Story, Harmony and Fear. The battle of demons lead by their pony mascots will set the world aflame. Twilight: I don't think I like the sound of that. Fusion Fool: Uhh, Twilight will get to bang somepony aswell, dood! Gigavolt: No she won't. Author's Note It's done...and I think I screwed you all with the long wait, I'm sorry, dood. I wanted to get Valvatorez in there somehow, because he had to be. The reason behind the OC Alicorn... Kinda obvious that he is a jab at all the other OC Alicorns that were written badly, not saying that they are all lame, Faith from Faith and Doubt and from Abundance (though I am weirded out by the sudden shipping the author threw in there between him, Trixie, and Twilight) is actually pretty good, dood. So, sometime I'm going to start the next story and have an actual proof-reader look at it before I give it to you guys, so... A story with ALOT more planning the what was used for this or the clopfic I have been working on lately, what a shocker, dood. Thanks for giving this story a chance, dood. You are all awesome. EDIT cause i'm an idiot: SUper Special Thanks to Refferee for commenting all my mistakes, it's embarrassing for me but still is nice of the guy to do that for every chapter, dood. Chores, and Needless explainations, dood.Finally, the next chapter, It may appear like it was butt rushed, but I still didn't want to leave you hanging, here's hopes that this is not a bad chapter, dood. ~dood~[/hr] Day one on the job, dood. We had the first peaceful sleep we have ever had since we became prinnies, Spike and Master Cupcakes were making breakfast, dood. Blueberry pancakes with chocolate syrup(lucky ponies) with a glass of orange juice for Lady Sparkle, Spike, and each one of us prinnies, dood. After finishing and cleaning up for our new pony overlord, it was time to get to our tasks for the day, dood. "Master Cupcakes, I recall yesterday that you were a baker of sorts for your previous master, so would you please go and help Pinkie Pie?" I turn to Mr. Kamikaze, dood, and he was sweating bullets. A few months ago, when Master Fenrich found out about our Brony status, he would ask Emizel about the grimdark section, we screw up a chore, he will force us to reinact one of those grimdark stories with the poor prinny acting as the victim, dood. Mr. Kamikaze screwed up a lot of times in the past during that era, and that earned him Sweet Apple Massacre with a Rifle Demon playing as Big Mac, Cupcakes with a Android as Pinkie, and Rainbow Factory with a Lady Samurai as Rainbow Dash, dood, he was even forced to be Rainbow Dash in a prinny reenactment of SHED.MOV, poor dood. Not too surprising to see Mr.K going nuts over anybody heading to help Pinkie with cupcakes. "Got it, dood." said Master C, as he headed off, the Hazard prinny rushed to the window to watch his friend calmly walk to his death. "Hey moron, Pinkie isn't going to bake him into cupcakes, dood, that's just a story made by a sick and twisted human." I claim. Mr. Kamikaze turned his head to me, still frightened, he turned back to find that his yellow friend has disappeared in the crowd of confused ponies. "Why would Pinkie bake anypony, or in this case, a prinny, into a cupcake." Twilight asked, dood. "A stupid story that a human brony made to scare others, I don't want to bore you with details, dood." I said, in hopes to end this particular conversation. "A Story?" Twilight asked. I don't like the way she became interested in this, dood. "A horror story, about a pony that does a lot of harm to another pony and uses that same pony as ingredients, dood." I said with a hint of "matter-of-fact" tone. "I guess, it's a story where Pinkie tortures and kills a pony and makes them into a cupcake? and the story victim is one of our friends?" Twilight said, and to think murder never happens here, dood. "Rainbow Dash to be precise, dood." said Super Pal. "Why Rainbow Dash? Her and Pinkie are such good friends." asked Twilight, all of us shrugged, as Spike entered the room, dood. "Going over to Rarity's to help her get gems." Spike said, all of us saw the hearts in his eyes at the mention of Rarity, dood. "That's good, why don't you take Chocolate with you." Twilight said, dood. Chocolate walked up to the dragonic assistant and gave him a salute, "Ready when you are, dood." Spike looked a little put off by us prinnies, can't blame him, dood. "Mr. Kamikaze, can you go see if Fluttershy needs help?" Our Hazard prinny was still sweating bullets, but he nodded, and left to Fluttershy's cottage, dood. Twilight turned to the last three of us. "Lets see, Fusion Fool, how strong are prinnies?" "Depends on our Teir Rank, Level, and Attack, dood." I said, dood. This only confused Lady Sparkle, dood. "Teir Rank? Level? Attack? What the hay are you talking about?" I was about to answer her, but then Super Pal, dood, pipes up "Teir is what rank of Prinny we are, first there is Private Prinny, which are blue, Captain Prinnies are orange, then there is the Colonel Prinnies that are purple, General Prinnies that are green, Prinny Kings are Pinkish Red, and Prinny Gods are Black, dood." The Party Prinny said, dood. "So, Fusion fool is a Prinny God, Super Pal is a Colonel Prinny, Mr. Kamikaze is a Private Prinny, wait, whats Chocolate and Master Cupcake?" Ask our favorite librarian, dood. "Golden Shower is a Prinny God with a colour swap, dood, and-" Chocolate rushed into the library with a bat and pounded Super Pal in the face. "The name is Chocolate, dood." Chocolate said while looming over the unconscious body of Super Pal, dood. Lady Sparkle gasped "Super Pal! Chocolate, I want you to apologize to Super Pal when he wakes up, got it?" Twilight had her lecture face on, this isn't good. Chocolate looked down away from Super Pal and said "Ok, dood." and left to his appointed tasks, dood. I coughed to get Lady Sparkle's attention. "As Super Pal was saying, Chocolate is a Prinny God too and Master Cupcake is a General Prinny, yellow use to be the Prinny God colour a long time ago, but it was changed to black, dood." I explained. "As for Level, and attack, dood? level is our current skill level that demons are commonly ranked by, but isn't the actual end all for "who is stronger the who" since equipment is also a factor, dood. And attack is well, our physical power, dood. In other words, I'm a level 1000 prinny god, Chocolate is a level 800 prinny god, true I have better stats then him, but he had a higher attack then me. Super Pal is a level 200 colonel prinny, with slightly higher hit then normal prinnies, Master Cupcake is a lv. 1000 prinny king with above average intelligence, and Mr. Kamikaze is a level 10 private prinny cause he dies so often, dood." Took Lady Sparkle a few seconds to figure out what I just said, dood. "So the netherworld is basically a world of 'power rules here but knowing math is needed too' kind of deal? That's just weird; very interesting, but weird." Twilight said. "Also boring when you gotta grind to lv. 9999, We got a few people there, like Lord Valvatorez, but it's a chore, dood." I said. We both sigh, "Well then Fusion Fool, seeing as Super Pal is out for the moment, help him onto my back, and we'll go and help Applejack with her apple trees." Twilight smiled as she got ready to leave, dood. "Got it, dood." as I lifted Super Pal, being a Prinny God means being decently strong, but then again, prinnies are stupid light dood, it's amazing a breeze doesn't make us fly a few feet and hurt us, dood. I gentle placed Super Pal on Twilight's back as the three of us headed to Sweet Apple Acres, I can almost taste the apples, dood. Next Episode! Fusion Fool: Nightmare Moon has descended, dood, and taken Pinkie Pie prisoner! Pinkie Pie: Oh boy! My turn to be the damsel in distress. Twilight Sparkle: This "next episode" thing hurts my head. Pinkie Pie: You are not prepared for the Fourth Wall breaking of this magnitude, silly. Fusion Fool: Deep within the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters, the wicked side of Luna attempts to ruin Pinkie Pie, by making her eat those small low-fat cookie crackers, dood. Pinkie Pie: How could she. Twilight Sparkle: Low-fat? We move around too much for the fat to grow on us. Chocolate: Probably the reason why you girls have been the same weight class since forever, dood. Twilight Sparkle: Even I get outside from time to time. Fusion Fool: The Equestrian hero, Twilight Sparkle will save the fair Pinkie Pie from a cruel fate of low-fat snacks, dood! Pinkie Pie: Sweet Celestia, hurry Twilight! She has a bran muffin stuffed with raisins! Twilight Sparkle: Are you serious? This is getting ridiculous. Rainbow Dash: You guys still going on about how much better Twilight is then the rest of us? Chocolate: What did I say in chapter 2, dood? Twilight Sparkle: I am not better then any of my friends. Master Cupcake: Better then Trixie, dood? Twilight Sparkle: In a way, yes. Super Pal: Twilight is a better caster then Trixie! It's canon now, dood! Fusion Fool: Next Episode: "The Maw of Terror, dood" Twilight will save her latest maiden form the clutches of doom. Mr. Kamikaze: Latest maiden, dood? Fusion Fool: I'm trying to build Lady Sparkle a harem, dood, shut up. Twilight Sparkle: (Facehoof) Pinkie Pie: Alright, as long as Twilight lets me be on top every once in awhile. Fusion Fool: Of course, dood, Hard to imagine Twilight on top, no matter how great she is. Twilight Sparkle: I recall you prinnies exploding when thrown, I want to test that theory. Fusion Fool: RUN DOOD! Chapter 4, I am amazed I can keep this up, I have a bad habit of forgetting to update chapters cause I get scared of no one seeing it. Anyways, I have been working on 2 other stories, One is another Cross-over(some of you may have noticed that my CYOA is gone) which stars my idea for Hawke in that SAME scrapped story, the other is a Clopfic, but I dunno if I want to glance at that yet dood, still need booze for that. Thank you for reading.
The Netherworld, dood.As much as i dislike self-inserts, and OC pony stuff. I always wanted to to see Equestria myself as a prinny, we of course are the eternal victims, so it's high time we got some repentance, WE SHALL WORK OFF OUR SINS IN EQUESTRIA, DOOD! ~dood~[/hr] Over the course of 2 years, dood. We prinnies have finally managed to earn enough money to bribe the Dimension Guide to let us to Equestria. All the thefts, ass-kissing, and chores we have done has come to this, dood. Our funds are limited thought, dood, as we only had enough for 5 prinnies. There was Mr. Kamikaze, your standard blue prinny, but he had a warning label stitched into the back of his body to let other demons know he was prone to self-sacrifice, dood. We all think he's a masochist, and he refused to believe it, until his ninth death where he got up and told us he loved pain, and wanted to marry the feeling. The next prinny is called Master Cupcake dood, he was just called that cause the demons were hungry for cupcakes at the time and made him bake a batch. He is a Yellow Prinny, dood. He was a cook in Etna's little army of prinny slaves, but he escaped to Hades cause Valvatorez is a lot better than her, dood. Next up is Golden Shower, dood, it's now how you think, dood. He didn't get his name THAT way. But he is a brown prinny, and is subject to MANY jokes due to his name and appearance, dood. Poor guy always tried to ask the prinny instructors to let him change his name or get a new prinny suit, but they were laughing too hard to care. We also got Super Pal, a purple prinny with a party hat; he likes to party, sometimes too hard. We always find him passed out somewhere, we made fun of him once cause we found him sleeping, cuddling a succubus wearing a recently used strap-on. He can't remember anything from taking his fourth drink to waking up next to her. She told us he was flirting with her and being depressed about being always screwed in the end, all she wanted to do was teach him the brighter side of being screwed, rather literally, dood. Then there is me, Fusion Fool the Third, I was called that because I ended up being used in Monster fusions and magichanges, dood. Because of all that and the farming Lord Valvatorez did by fusing me to Desco or fusing me to a Felynn and turning into a fist weapon for some Big Bang user in Mt. Ordeals, left me rather powerful, needless to say, I'm a black prinny, a Prinny God tier prinny. Now back to this story, we caught Sir Emizel and President Axel watching a show called "My Little Pony", we were going to tell Master Fenrich about this so he could admonish them but we were enthralled with the show, dood. After watching the first season, all the prinnies that watched it are rather 'active' about who is their favorite pony, dood. The prinnies that like Rainbow Dash tend to get face smashed by bigger demons by going up to their face and spitting in their eye, dood, they are really reckless but they are loyal like the pony herself. Too bad they have the shortest life span of any prinny in the universe, dood, I gotta admit, they got balls bigger then brains and a lot of speed, and that speed is the only reason why there is still some Rainbow Dash Prinnies around, dood. The Applejack prinnies have started working even harder to pay off their sins, it became common for an AJ prinny to ask some other prinny to let them do their chores. They are very proud and they even stopped lying, the crazy demons, I tell ya dood, They became complete delinquents. They also started a very small apple farm that gets raided by Miss Artina every once in a while. The Pinkie Pie prinnies party non-stop and always have some trick in their fanny pack, dood, but they always try to make other demons happy. One actually pleased Master Fenrich by giving him a box of chocolates, an autographed picture of Lord Valvatorez, and a list of ways to torture the demons he didn't like, they are also Lord Valvatorez's official source of sardines, dood. Rarity Prinnies have refused to work and pushed all their chores onto the AJ Prinnies(not that they mind, dood.) to either make clothing for the female demons or to make sure everything is more than picture perfect, they have gone as far as stitching gems and jewels into their suits, only to be kidnapped and stripped of their decoration within hours. Female demons (Archers, Witches, and Mystic Knights above all else) command them to make them some clothing to wear for some occasion, one Rarity prinny made the mistake of trying to put a dress on a Felynn, we are still picking up what's left of him. Fluttershy Prinnies are the only prinnies that are brave enough to work with the monster demons, even though they are pussies in front of anything else, dood, they also mark as the first group of prinnies that has ever lasted not getting eaten or killed by a demon by more than 2 hours, they are raking it up to a month by now, dood. Thank merciful god they haven't mastered the stare yet, they have been training to use it on some little demons like slumber cats and slimes to little effect. Then there is the best of the best. The Twilight Sparkle Prinnies, we tend to our chores but also read when we can, dood. We can't learn magic though unless we reincarnate a million times though but that's cool, dood, we have accepted this, we are also prone to outbursts and calling other prinnies morons when they disturb our reading, or disturb Super Pal's clopfics. One day, Super Pal was reading while also doodling Twilight and Pinkie Pie making out (what a freak dood, twilestia is the only way to go.) when he found something, we cross-referenced everything we had to this and made checklists that would make a professor blush, and then, dood, was the holy grail for us prinnies, a book that officially stated Equestria's location in what universe. That is how me and the four mentioned earlier have found out that Equestria is in fact real and not some drug- influenced girl show. We planned like any Twilight Sparkle would plan and now, we have the means to beat all the other prinnies. We are now going to take our first step, dood. Our first step to paradise, dood. Next Episode! (Remember to right click and then left click "open to a new tab" or open a new window for the above link, dood) Fusion Fool: Equestria is in danger under the tyrannical rule of Evil Queen Celestia, dood. Twilight Sparkle: What!? The Princess wouldn't be evil, she is good and pure. Fusion Fool: Who else can save the world from the iron hoof of this cruel tyrant, dood? Mr. Kamikaze: N.I.S will kick our asses if we do this, dood. Fusion Fool: Galactic Space Hero Twilight Sparkle is Equestria's last hope, dood. Twilight Sparkle: Galactic... Space Hero? Rainbow Dash: Why is Twilight the hero? I'm the bravest pony around. Super Pal: We are Twilight Fan-Prinnies, dood, that's why Twilight is the hero, dood. Rainbow Dash: Can we draft some Rainbow Dash Fan-Prinnies from Hades, as well? Golden Shower: There aren't enough around the Hades when we left, dood. Fusion Fool: Twilight's Magic will save the day, defeat the evil queen and save her beloved Fluttershy from the jaws of death, dood. Twilight Sparkle: WHAT?! My beloved Fluttershy? Fluttershy: Oh dear, can I be excluded from this? Mr. Kamikaze: I didn't even know Fusion Fool was a TwiShy prinny, dood. Fusion Fool: Next Episode! "The Solar Eclipse, dood." If you blink, you will miss the awesomeness of Lady Sparkle! Twilight Sparkle: What the hay does all this even mean? Pinkie Pie: I always liked these 'Next Episode' segments from the Disgaea games, always so full of win. ~dood~[/hr] And that was that, the CYOA is on hiatus until we get some sort of reader direction, think of it as that one video game you sorta-wanta play but instead you leave it saved, either half way done, or barely started, dood. Please read and review, we prinnies are tough enough to take any form of critism, considering we typed all that from Notepad, and the author's notes directly onto the site itself. HUZZAH FOR IMAGINATION DOOD!
Equestria, dood.I had a nap, and went to my computer at one thirty in the morning, dood, couldn't go back to sleep so I checked my new story, the comments inspired me to make this chapter, dood. I really hope it goes well. You know dood, none of Lord Valvatorez's(Valvatorez'?) prinny training has prepared us for what we have found, dood. Instead of corpses, indecent expsoure, and murder, we found bright colours, beautiful scenary, and innocence, dood. There was still indecent exposure, but they were ponies, dood, so who gave a crap? "It's so beautiful, dood." said Master Cupcake, I turned to his direction to see him crying tears of joy. I can't blame him, dood, We were all crying these same tears. Mr. Kamikaze and Golden Shower tried to hide it though. "The air here is so clean dood, no pollution, no blood, and no rifle demon trying to us one of as a urinal, dood." said Super Pal, and we all know we can go without that past added, it was a dark part of our time in the Netherworld, dood. Is that why Golden Shower is brown though? Considering what has happened to us many years ago while we were prinnies, dood? "What are we waiting for, dood? A invitation? We must go and find Lady Sparkle, dood!" Yelled Mr. Kamikaze, we all nodded in agreement as we dried our manly prinny tears, dood(cause it's more manly then any Armored Knight's or Bouncer's tears) and started our trek to the Library! Every pony was staring at us, dood. "What are those?", "Are they from Everfree?", "They look mean." "My hoof hurts." "They better not cause trouble." ...is what they say behind our backs, as we strolled through to the library, and found out rather quickly that we got lost in Ponyville, dood. How embarrassing, dood. "Hi, what are you? I'm Pinkie Pie the party pony, and I know every pony in Ponyville, but I don't know what or who you are that must mean your new to all of Equestria, oh this is so fun, lets throw a party! Because parties are fun, and super, and great, and wow!" Pinkie came out of F-yay-king nowhere and said all that within the span of 5 seconds, we had to restrain Super Pal at the mention of party, dood. "Thank you Ms. Pie, but can you direct us to the library, dood? we have a destiny to fulfill." I asked with some fear in my voice, part of me wanted to talk to Pinkie more, the other and more populated part of me was scared of Pinkie Pie, all of us prinnies have read Cupcakes, dood, and needless to say, we don't want that happening to us. She still looked happy and none of us see a meat cleaver or a hacksaw on her, dood. "Oh a big destiny? Like the Elements of Harmony? or like how Valzy is going to rule the Netherworld, or was it Laharl? I can't remember, that gives me a idea for my next party, a world domination party! But then I don't think the princess' would approve of that, unless they were taking over Equestria, but that's silly since they already have it." I think Mr. Kamikaze's brain blew a fuse, dood. And I still wonder how she learned of the nickname Miss Fuka came up with for Lord Valvatorez, and of Lord Laharl. Party idea seemed neat, dood. Pinkie grabbed me, all the others tried to protect me form my fate in the oven of Sergeant Sprinkles, as she dragged all 5 of us to... The Library? "Here it is, My friend Twilight lives her, and loves to read. Ok enjoy." As she walked off, we looked at the home of our new master, and more manly tears were shed, dood. I moved up to the door, raised a flipper, and knocked on the door to our peaceful servitude as we metaphorically flip off the door to our cruel servitude, dood. "I'm coming, hold on a second." Oh my god, oh my god, wait, isn't it Sweet Celestia now dood? Sweet Celestia, Sweet Celestia, Twilight Sparkle is coming to answer the door! The door opened to reveal, a lizard of our height with purple scales and green spikes, with a light-green underbelly, this wasn't Twilight, dood, this was Spike. "Who are you guys?" He asked. I coughed to reform my composure and to look like the more important prinny of the group. "My name is Fusion Fool the Third, dood, and me and my fellow prinnies have come from Hades to serve under Twilight Sparkle, as her vassals, dood." He gave us a 'Are you serious, dood' look before turning back into the library, "Hey Twilight, whats a vassal?" A voice is heard from the next room over form the main one we see now, dood. "A pony that has entered the services of a lord or monarch, basically the Princess' servants and guardsponies." Spike became even more confused, "But Twilight isn't either of those things, did the Princess sent you? No, she'd send us a letter ahead of time. Princess Luna?" Spike asked us, dood. "We have come on our own accord to serve Twilight, dood." Super Pal said behind me. "But then what about your current lord? I don't think vassals can change their lords just because they fell like it." Spike told us. We stood our ground. "We ran away from Hades to live in Equestria as Twilight Sparkle's servants, you happy now that we spilled our guts, dood? Does that make you feel more of a man, dood?" Said Golden Shower as he tried to intimidate Spike, dood, didn't work too well, it surprised him. Then we saw our Lady walk in to the main room, that lavender coat, that blue hair, those streaks, that horn that has saved Celestia knows how many ponies from morgue, and dat star spangled plot, dood. This is our destiny, dood, our destiny is to kiss Twilight's hooves. "Who are they, Spike? I don't think I have ever read of them before." I push by Spike and Golden Shower to introduce the group. "My name is Fusion Fool the Third, dood, and me and my fellow prinnies have come from Hades to serve under you, Master Twilight, please allow us to serve." I bowed, the rest of my crew did the same, Lady Sparkle was surprised by what we did. "Anywhere you go, we'll follow you down, but not that far, dood!" We all yelled. Our new master and her assistant were speechless. And even more manly tears were shed as we now attempted to live in harmony, in the best gig any prinny could ask for in the Netherworld, working under a Master that was nice, understanding, and had more magic in her horn then most unicorns do in their entire bodies, and we had the honor to serve her and read all the books we wanted, dood. Next Episode! Fusion Fool: A great darkness has taken hold over Sugarcube Corner, dood. Pinkie Pie: NOT MY CUPCAKES! Fusion Fool: The ruthless butcher has made one mistake though, dood, kidnapping our hero's athletic lover, Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash: What? Who's my lover? Golden Shower: Us. Twilight Fan-Prinnies, dood. I am not going to repeat myself. Fusion Fool: Hell's Greatest Detective! Twilight Sparkle, is here to arrest the insane Pinkamina and end the string of Cupcake murders, dood! Twilight: First off, I'm a Detective now? Second, why is Pinkie killing ANYTHING? That isn't like her. Pinkie Pie: What... I'm going to... kill Dashie? Rainbow Dash: And I thought Pinkie's imagination was wild, you little guys are nuts. Fusion Fool: Next Episode: "The Cupcakes stop falling, dood!" Everypony is safe with Twilight on the case. Twilight Sparkle: As true as that statement is, why is Pinkie killing Rainbow Dash? Pinkie Pie: But... I don't wanna kill Dashie. Many Manly tears were shed in this chapter, dood. If the chapters keep coming, I might run out of steam, so I'll probably delay the next update until next week (monday-tuesday-ish), if this chapter is any better. Cheers, dood. On a side note, THANK YOU SO GOD DAMN MUCH FOR COMMENTING! that is all, dood.
Introductions and Rules, doodFor the record, I am doing this entire story off the seat of my pants (meaning if it comes to mind, I write it with regret coming to me AFTER I publish the chapter, dood. I am a dumb ass that way, dood. "So, you guys are called prinnies, that are here to serve me?" The best pony asked, dood. "Correct, as I have already given myself a name twice,dood, I'll introduce the other 4 for you benefit, The Brown one is Golden Shower-" "Thats a odd name for a brown prinny, I assume." Twilight asked in a quizzical way, dood. Golden Shower simplied sighed. "I got that name under odd circumstances, dood." "Can't you change your name?" The lavender mare asked, she looked pretty thoughtful for someone that should be laughing at such a silly name, dood. Golden Shower looked like he's gonna cry, dood. "I've tried, dood, the guys incharge of renaming were usually too busy laughing at me." "Well, how about I give you a new name, since you all seem dead set on me becoming your new master." Twilight asked. "Are you serious, dood?" Golden Shower ask, with hope in his eyes. "How about Chocolate, since your a brown prinny and all," Best Pony suggested. Golden Shower cried again, dood. He needs to stop, seriously. He turned to face us prinnies and yelled "I will beat you guys with whatever I find if I am addressed as Golden Shower again, my name is Chocolate, dood, CHOCOLATE!" "I think he likes the name Lady Sparkle." I said, After being surprised by Gold-I mean, Chocolate's remark, she smiled. "Happy to help, my prinnies." That sentence melted my black heart, dood, and I think it had the same effect on my comrades in pony-arms. "As I was saying, dood, this blue prinny with the hazard sign stitched to his back, is called Mr. Kamikaze, he is a masochist." I explained, dood. Twilight frowned at my intro for my blue friend. "Masochist? As in he likes pain?" I chuckle a little, in hopes no one noticed, "Actually he liked getting killed, but he can't do that now cause if he dies, he'll be sent back to the Netherworld to be reincarnated, dood." As I finish my explanation, doom filled the eyes of Mr. Kamikaze, he can't die, dood? If he does, he'll return to that crap box of forced-servitude again. "I can't die? No one pick me up, I don't wanna die, please don't throw me, DOOOOOOD!" Mr. Kamikaze cried, panicking, dood. Twilight backed up a bit, dood. "What does he mean don't throw me and don't pick him up?" I started to sweat, If Twilight finds out that prinnies explode when thrown, she may use that as capital punishment, dood, my mind goes off to imaginationland's evil brother, Bad Possibilities City. "Fusion Fool the Third, you spilled my tea, time to receive punishment" the Imaginary Twilight in my mind said, as she picked me up and threw me into town square where I exploded, and died, dood. "Prinny Rule Number 2, dood: Prinnies will explode when thrown or mishandled, dood." said Super Pal. This is it, we are now officially one stained floor away from the Netherworld, dood. "That's awful, why would anyone make their servants explode?" Twilight asked, that killed off whatever thought of her using that against us, but probably spawned a few prinny based sessions of "Experiments of Twilight Sparkle" where she WANTS to find out how we explode. "Well then, I'll make sure all the ponies know not to pick you guys up and toss you." said Lady Sparkle with a smile, dood. We are infinitely safe here, dood. "You mean, you won't pick us up with your telepathy and throw us in case we spill your tea or scuff a book, dood?" I asked in a worried tone, dood.. "Throwing you is pretty much murder, so I don't see why I should do that for some petty accidents." Her answer made us all breath a sigh of relief, dood. "Back to the intros, This yellow prinny here is Master Cupcake, dood. He was employed by a real tyrant of a person earlier, she made him make cupcakes forever, dood. But he escaped and joined us in Hades." Master Cupcakes was still in awe of being in Lady Sparkle's presence, dood. "Wow, that sounds awful, I don't want to sound rude, but if you want to make cupcakes for fun, Master Cupcakes, I'm sure Pinkie Pie will love to have you help her." Twilight said, I now wonder how many tears a prinny has in them, since Master Cupcakes started crying in joy again, dood. "The final one of us is Super Pal, He is the purple prinny that likes to party hard, dood, the more alcohol, the better." As I finish, Super Pal, puff's his chest out in pride, dood. Twilight thinks for a second then answers "I am not sure if Pinkie spikes the punch, but Applejack's cider has some alcohol in it if you are interested." I must admit, I didn't think ponies could drink booze, dood, But at least Super Pal seems okay with it. "OK, I heard one of you say something about rules, can one of you clarify?" Twilight said. I didn't like this part at all, dood, sort of wanted to make our own rules. "Prinny Rule Number 1: We must always say 'dood' in our lines." said Super Pal, dood. "Is that why all of you say dood at random points in your sentences?" Twilight asked, dood. "Yes sir, dood" proclaimed Master Cupcake, "You already heard of Prinny Rule Number 2, so Prinny Rule Number 3 is we must always be paid at least one sardine for 20 hours of labour, dood." Twilight looked shocked, "one measly sardine for 20 hours of work? that's cruel, but I don't want to break the rules, is there a rule about you guys getting a cupcake or two for less extent of time?" Our eyes went wide at this, our lady was going to up our pay, dood? We couldn't cry anymore, Super Pal was trying to make himself shed more tears after everything that has happened today, dood. "It is possible, dood." said Mr. Kamikaze, there was no rule against it, and the sound of being payed anything more than a sardine was awesome in my books, dood. "But I'll get to that later, so, what are the other rules?" Twilight asked with a lot of curiosity in her tone. "Prinny Rule Number 4 is that we can never slack off, or else we are punished by doing chores of a lesser leveled prinny, dood." Super Pal, said. "Prinny Rule Number 5 is that we must never question our master in anyway shape or form, and finally Prinny Rule Number 6 is that we must never make our Master wait." Twilight thought about this for a moment, dood. "Those last 3 rules were rather fair considering it is a job, what pony would want someone slacking off on them? So what are prinnies? Are they just large blue penguins or is there something else I need to know?" inquired Twilight, dood. "Nope, that's all we are, just blue penguins, dood" I said in a instant, dood. Twilight frowned at this answer, "are you sure, you guys look like you were stitched together, like a monster of sorts." I had to say something quick, dood. "That is just for show, dood, nothing weird about that." I think I sated her curiosity, but the whole 'human criminal forced into servitude to pay for their sins' is a bit farfetched for her to figure out by herself, dood. "Ok, back to that third rule, how about I give you guys a apple and a cupcake for 4 hours of work as well as the sardine?" Twilight bargained, what prinny would refuse this offer, dood? All of us looked at each other and it was official "We accept, you can have us do anything, dood!" we all said at once. "We'll even continue to follow you to hell for that kind of pay raise, dood." said Mr. Kamikaze, dood. "Then I pinkie promise to help you guys out, cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my ey-ouch." The Pinkie Promise, dood. It is official, not even Lord Valvatorez can drag us back now if we tell him about the Pinkie Promise. I thought I was out of Manly tears, I was wrong. Next episode! Fusion Fool: Something sinister is happening at Sweet Apple Acres, dood. Twilight Sparkle: Great, what is it now? Applejack: Hold up, whats happening at my farm? Fusion Fool: The Mac Attack has gone berserk. He is now after Rarity, who will save her, dood? Rarity: Mac Attack? Why would Big Mcintosh attack me? Fusion Fool: Inter-dimensional Super Hero Twilight Sparkle will swoop in and save Rarity from a cruel fate that visited the Crusaders, dood. Twilight: Hold up, what happened to the crusaders? Mr. Kamikaze: We said too much, dood. Chocolate: By the way Fusion Fool, dood. Pick a ship. Fusion Fool: Any ship is a good ship as long as Twilight is in the center of it, dood. Super Pal: He has a point, dood. Twilight Sparkle: I want an answer to my question. Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash: So do we. Master Cupcake: We'll explain when you're older, dood. Fusion Fool: Next Episode: "Sweet Apple Massacre, dood!" Only the Lavender Dream can stop the Mac Attack, dead in it's tracks. Twilight Sparkle: FUSION FOOL! ANSWERS! NOW! Pinkie Pie: Wow, gotta say, neat how Twilight went from space detective to private investigator to dimensional super hero in the course of 3 chapters, but that's probably why we love our Mary-Sue! If you do not know Valvatorez or played Disgaea 4, dood, know that Valvatorez is a nut when it comes to 2 things, promises and sardines, so a Pinkie Promise will keep him at bay, dood. As well, I am so sorry, if you didn't like this. Prinnies get it good for the first few chapters, then shit will eventually hit the fan, I don't like reading about OC ponies and thus i dislike USEING OC ponies, but eventually, I may have to bite the bullet on this, dood. Till, the weekend, dood.
What Fourth Wall, dood? Plus We got Apples.Thank you guys for your open mind on my mistake I call "The day Lyra went missing", dood. I'll try to stick to this one for as long as I can, despite having a follow up to the clopfic in mind, this time that one is planned, so I'll probably rename the story to something else, dood. Quick FYI, this chapter contains horrible abuse to the fourth wall. ~dood~[/hr] With Chocolate helping Spike and Rarity, Master Cupcake baking with Pinkie, Mr. Kamikaze acting as nurse to Fluttershy, dood, Me and Super Pal assist Lady Sparkle with Applejack's applebucking season, and in no way does that sound dirty to use demons, dood, unless you are a succubus. Anyways, I am doing the walking, the bash to the back of Super Pal's head, curtsey of Chocolate, had him KOed and riding on our future overlord's back, lucky bastard, dood. During our travels to the apple farm, I catch a glimpse of a fast pony, a blur of green. with some white and black, Twilight slows abit, looking around with a critical eye, that tells me I am not crazy, dood. I have to say this for Applejack, her farm is f***ing far from Ponyville compared to what we were made to believe in the show, fan stories, and pictures, dood. "Fusion Fool, I gotta ask, how are you going to buck apples with peg legs? I'm just curious." Twilight asks me, dood, I look into my handy-dandy pouch and find, two swords, I'd get bucked in the face then explode if I use these to gather apples, dood. Bomb? not even Mr. Kamikaze is that stupid, dood. Baseball bat? my last resort, dood. Magic Skull? that might work, dood. "I can use this demon skull or baseball bat to knock the apples down, dood." I answer her after a low period of me thinking. "I see, you sure you won't break any trees? After your explanation on levels and teirs, I gotta assume that you would probably cause a tree to soar to the moon if you so much as tap it with your flipper," said the lavender pony, dood. "Doesn't work that way, dood, if it's written in the script, then sure, it'll happen, but our true power comes form whatever the writer of the script dictates, as such." I answer her, not caring about the fourth wall, dood. "Script? Writer? you sound like Pinkie and her weird chatting about humans, funnel cakes, and me becoming a alicorn." Twilight stated, dood. "First off, humans do exist, just not in Equestria, and God willing it stays that way, dood. Second, we prinnies have been busting the fourth wall a lot longer then Pinkie Pie, dood, despite the fact that Pinkie beats us in that regard, and thirdly, you might become a alicorn, you never know, it could be magic, Celestia, an injection of alicorn DNA into your flank-" "What was that last one?" Twilight asked, interrupting me. "Magic, dood?" I stuttered. "And what do you mean, god-willing? I take it humans are bad?" Lady Sparkle asks, I had a few seconds to answer, but it was pretty easy to answer anyways, dood. "Not all humans are bad, but there are some humans you just wanna punch in the head until you hit concrete, dood. Same goes from bronies, most of them are pretty civil people that just like you girls as their mascot or for your character style, dood, then there are the freaks that take it to the 'Trekkie' or 'Star Wars' level that makes us all look bad as a group, dood, before you ask, Trekkie is a term for someone that likes a show called Star Trek, and Star Wars is a franchise, both of which come from the human world, dood." I explain, dood. "I don't think I needed to know that last part, sounds interesting, but not something I want to pursue, so there are humans that go 'loco in the coco' for us ponies?" The questions never end, dood. "You don't wanna know, I'm just going to throw it out there that there are at least 20 figurines of you covered in either nacho cheese, drool, soda pop, or something I'm not going to mention." I shuddered at that last thing, most bronies are cool, yes dood, but there are indeed some that would make any pony second guess 'Love and Tolerance for all.' After kicking the fourth wall in the crotch and spitting in his face for two paragraphs and a sentence, dood, we arrive at Sweet Apple Acres, Super Pal even wakes up when we get here, dood. "Anyone get the number of that truck that hit me, dood?" Super Pal asks, still unbalanced, dood. "Yea, Chocolate apparently received the power to hear anything call him by his old name when he received his new one, then run over and bash their head in with a bat, dood." I explain to my half-conscience friend, dood. "Ok, tell him I said 'hi', dood, by the way, where are we?" He takes a look around his surroundings, "holy shit, dood! We are at Sweet Apple Acres! We can get drunk, dood!" Super Pal squeals like a little girl that received a new car for getting good marks in school and made a mad dash around to find the stetson-wearing owner of the farm. "For someone that never had apple cider before, he must like it alot." Twilight says. "He likes to drink, dood." I say. After a minute of walking some more, we found a orange pony with a blonde mane wearing a, screw it dood, we found Applejack with Super Pal sweating bullets underneath her right foreleg or forehoof? Applejack notices us, "Hey Twilight, you know what these strange critters are?" Applejack asked in her southern accent I can't replicate in the story, dood. "Hello AJ, these are the prinnies, three of them were sent to help the others so I got Super Pal, the one you have pinned, and Fusion Fool, the one next to me." Twilight explains, dood. "I just wanted some cider, dood." I face flippered, he should have known that the Apple family always sell out on their cider on the first day due to the high demand, yet he somehow believes they had a extra supply hiding somewhere? Some prinnies, dood. "We don't have any cider, little fella, sorry about bucking ya to the ground, though." That didn't sound dirty at all to a demon, dood. "But, you are a farmer, dood, you always have booze." Super Pal cried, I almost felt like hitting him, dood. "Nope, and we can't sell any for a few weeks, the apples we use for the cider aren't quite right, yet." the earth pony explain, dood. Super Pal looked to the ground, feeling like Rainbow Dash every time the cider goes on sale and she misses out. "Cheer up, Super, I bet if you work really hard, Applejack might save you a cup." That inspired him to grab a bat from his pouch and start harvesting apples, dood. "That got him going." Twilight said with a smile, dood. Applejack however was dumbfounded. "I'll be, I didn't know those little guys can work." she said, she then glances to me, dood. "What, dood? We prinnies are never THAT motivated to work, I'm just as surprised as you are." I added, Super Pal cleared 20 trees in 5 minutes with a bat, and no trees are trying to plant themselves on the moon from getting hit by a baseball bat. I take out my own bat and assist him by clearing the opposite side, Applejack continues talking to Twilight, can't hear what they are saying though, dood, but it's probably questions about us. After their private meeting, Applejack goes back to her side of the trees and Twilight starts levitating the baskets of apples we harvest with her magic, dood. After a hard days of work, probably the hardest any of us have ever worked, dood. Applejack comes back with a single basket of apples balancing on her back, "here ya go, finest apples in Equestria." Me and Super Pal stare at the apples like it's a pudding from the sea of gehenna that was given to us as a reward, dood, except as a apple from the most honest pony ever, dood. We each take a apple in our flippers and start eating it, AJ may have been boasting about her apples, but when they taste this good, they deserve the pedestal the orange mare is putting them on, dood. "I think they like them, that's good." Twilight says with a beaming smile, she grabs a single apple, eats it, then levitates the basket, I assume that she plans on sharing them with the others plus Spike, dood. "HELP, DOOD!" one of our comrades scream out in the distance, sounds like Mr. Kamikaze, but the next thing that is screamed out made both me and Super Pal cringe in fear, a fierce battle cry that would spell doom to all prinnies that enter Equestria, the hurricane to end all hurricane's dood. "CUTIE MARK PENGUIN WRANGLERS! YAY! Next Episode! Fusion Fool: Eternal night has conquered the world, dood. Twilight: What? But Nightmare Moon was beaten. Fusion Fool: The Princess is captured and the land in ruins, it falls to one mare to save them all and win the princess' heart, dood. Twilight: Me? and the Princess? That can't happen at all, First she is a princess and I'm just her student. Master Cupcakes: You'd be surprised on how well Twilestia works, dood. Pinkie: It would be awkward though, since Celestia is pretty much Twilight's other mom and the fact that she is twice Twilight's size. Chocolate: We bronies have a name for that, Molestia, dood. Princess Celestia: Interesting term, My Little Prinnies. Super Pal: (Squee) She said it! Fusion Fool: May I continue? Princess Celestia: Of course. Fusion Fool: Champion of Harmony and Knight of Magic, Twilight Sparkle, arrives on scene to smite the wicked Nightmare Moon back to the barren wasteland of the moon, dood Princess Luna: Why are we stealing Equestria and our sister from Twilight? Twilight: I still don't know. Fusion Fool: Next Episode: "Dusk and Dawn" May Twilight's Mighty Horn pierce the heavens and bring the day back, dood. Princess Celestia: And you accuse me of being 'Molestia' Fusion Fool: Still do since you took that as an innuendo, dood. Twilight: This isn't happening to me. Chapter 5 at long last, sorry about the wait. This may seem rushed, but i REALLY tried harder on this then I did on that sad excuse of a clopfic, and for those that didn't catch it the first few times, I did infact add that 'Next Episode' segment to all the previous chapters, and will continue to do so for now on, dood. Cheers, dood!
Prinny Recall, Dood, Author needs to get shot for the OC though.As the chapter says, a brand spanking new pony enters the story, I don't know why but turning a already existing pony into a demon spy would sound even sillier, dood. I reread this for some spelling errors, but I lack the writing skills to catch grammar errors and poor use of periods and commas, so I am sorry dood. ~dood~[/hr] "God, Celestia, Luna, Discord, other gods from other games and religions! Please save me from these mares of destruction, dood!" Cried Mr. Kamikaze as he ran from the three fillies that could royally mess our business in Equestria up by being adventurous, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, dood. For anything with sticks for legs, he is damn good at running away from the girls, dood. "Get it!" called out Applebloom as she continued her chase with her friends, dood. Sweetie Belle sees me, crap dood. "There's another one, let's go get it!" The girls stop chasing Mr. Kamikaze and make a bee-line to me, dood. "Girls!" The stern tone Twilight gave the girls somehow managed to stop them in their tracks, a foot or two away from my position. "Be careful, the prinnies told me they explode when you throw them or mishandle them, what do you think would happen when you start rough housing with one of them?" The girls look to the ground in shame as they absorbed the unicorns, words, dood, "They'd probably be dust, or ash, maybe bits and pieces of flesh after the prinny in question, blows up, dood." I say with some worry in my tone dood, since I was almost tackled and killed by the crusaders, dood. "Fusion Fool, that isn't helping, don't give the girls those mental images now." Twilight scolds me, I feel bad, dood. "We're sorry, Mr. Penguin" they said in unison, dood. Mr. Kamikaze walks over to me while Fluttershy heads our way. "That was scary, dood, Fluttershy used the Stare too, but the attack missed them cause their backs were to her as they chased me here, dood. Save me from the crusaders!" The blue prinny cried. Super Pal comes over to comfort his friend, dood. "Are you alright Mr. Prinny? I'm so sorry for what the girls did to you, please don't be mad at me." Fluttershy said with sad tone, who wants to tell her it's illegal to be mad at her in the brony community, dood? Mr. K, cause I am tired of typing Mr. Kamikaze all the bloody time for him, slowly gets up from his mild stroke, thanks to the girls, "No...problem....dood" he said as he falls back to the ground, dood. "Why did you girls chase him anyways?" Twilight questioned the fillies, dood. "Spill it girls, did you think you'd get a cutie mark from harassing weird penguin critters?" Applejack asked as-well, with complete disregard for our feelings, dood. "A green unicorn told us that if we catch the prinnies, we would be guaranteed our cutie marks." Scootaloo said, green unicorn, dood? "Lyra said this?" asked Twilight, dood. The girls shook their heads. "No, she looks a little similar, she has white and black mane that kinda goes off to the side slightly over her right eye, and her cutie mark looked very weird." Sweetie belle exclaims, dood. "How...weird of a cutie mark...was it, dood?" I ask in fear, please tell me it's not- "It looked like she put a silhouette of her head in a creepy grin and angry eyes, with two bolts of lightning behind it." Appleblooms says, crap dood. "Do you know this pony, Fusion Fool?" Twilight asks me, she is only the fear director of the Netherworld, she only got that job cause she is good with organization and couldn't scare a human if her life depended on it cause demon ponies are not scary at all, dood. "Nope, not at all, dood." I lied, dood. "We'll have to check on the others then, would you girls like to help me, in case this mystery pony is bad?" Twilight said, dood. AJ stepped up, dood. "Of course sugar cube, besides if you said that the other prinnies were helping our friends, that means that our friends could be in trouble." Fluttershy walked over to us, and tried to put on a serious face, bless her heart dood. " I'll come too, we have to save them...you know, if you think I could help out." Fluttershy said. And with that the mares headed straight back into town, with me, Mr. K, and Super Pal following them, the CMC kinda pulled a Houdini on us while we were planning, must have headed to their clubhouse, dood. Our first stop was Sugar Cube Corner, a building that appeared to have been made out of gingerbread and candy, I don't want to find out if that's true or false, dood. We enter the bakery to find Mrs. Cake at the till, and what appears to be Pinkie Pie in the back making cupcakes. I look to Mr. K to see if he is freaking out, he was. "I don't wanna be here, dood, this place scares me." He said, the ponies of our group and some nearby looked at him like he was a pansy, he really was, dood. "Grow a pair, would you? The story you read is fake, made up by a sick degenerate that made people like you question Pinkie Pie's sanity, dood." Master Cupcake said as he walked out of the kitchen, he was covered in flour though, dood. "Hey everybody, Cupcake is such a great baker assistant to the baker's assistant, but I gotta throw a party later in the day for him, (gasp) there are more of you? This party will have to be bigger then, Maybe I can use the Town Hall or Applejack's Barn, or maybe Twilight's Library, oh right, hi Twilight, hi Applejack, hi Fluttershy, anyways I'm Pinkie Pie, how are you three funny prinny guys, dood?" Did she forget that we met yesterday, dood? "Oh shoot, we did meet in chapter two, didn't we? I forgot all about it cause of the author's poor fanfiction writing skills, I told you where Twilight's Library was, how could I forget all that? I still need to make a party for you guys and your brown friend that isn't here right now, be right back." Pinkie ran up to her room, how did she, what the, my brain is full of f*** right now, dood. "Was she like this all day, dood?" I asked Master Cupcake. "Yeah, dood, she even asked about why we say dood all the time, and how we were made, even though she answered all my questions for me, dood." he said, dood. "Why do you guys say dood, all the time?" ask Fluttershy, "Prinny rule number one, we gotta say 'dood' in all our lines or sentences or we get demoted to level one prinny tasks, cleaning toilets, dood." I answer her question, she made a cute gasp that sounded like 'oh my', Applejack was also surprised to hear this. "Cupcake, did a green unicorn come by here" ask Twilight, he thought about it, dood. "Lyra? nope, haven't seen her all day, dood." I shook my head, "The angry green unicorn, dood." I told him. His eyes went big, "Oh crap, Gigavolt is here, dood?" The three of the Mane Six looked at us in confusion, "I thought you said you didn't know this pony?" Twilight questioned me, dood. I felt the heat from her glare, dood. "I sorta lied to protect ourselves and possibly other, dood." I managed to say, dood. "Fess up, who is this Gigavolt?" Applejack continued the interrogations, dood. "Gigavolt is one of the very few demon ponies in the netherworld, I say few cause they are usually the more favored prey of almost every other demon in the netherworld, dood. Ponies like Gigavolt were once ponies from Equestria that died but had enough spirit in them to reincarnate immediately to save her from becoming a prinny or sit in line waiting for her rebirth back into the normal world as a baby whatever, with a clean memory, dood. Ponies with tons of regret go to Hades, and Ponies with no regret go to Celestia, do not confuse the place with the princess, please dood. As I was saying, Gigavolt is crafty, she used her magic to study the technology, making her very good in mechanics and the sort, dood. While she studied, her magic started to lose it's normal 'glowy' bit and now is more focused on electricity, in other words dood, she is a walking battery with a built-in lightning rod, electrical attacks only power her up but she still has to micromanage her power or she'll have to find something to recharge her magic, like say, a thunder cloud. She is rather devious and mean when anything gets in her way, but then again, she has to be, the netherworld is no place for a pony, dood." I explain to my audience. "Well said, but then again, you left out something" a voice behind me says, everyone looks a little spooked, I turned around and shat bricks, dood. "I am also very powerful." The green demon pony that scared us said, Gigavolt. On her back was Chocolate, tied to her. "Sorry guys, she grabbed me when she distracted Rarity and Spike with a giant ruby." Chocolate said, tears streaming down his face. "The ruby is fake by the way, it's just a very large boulder with shiny red paint on it, you should be ashamed by thinking it was real." Gigavolt scolded. That might have pissed Rarity off when she finds out, dood. "I am here to reclaim the prinnies for Lord Valvatorez, please don't make this difficult, Valvatorez was annoyed that some of them escaped." The meanie unicorn said, dood. Twilight stepped in front of her. "I don't know who or what this Valvatorez guy is, but these prinnies wanted to come to Equestria, and if they want to return, they can when they want to." Twilight words had some venom in them, but Gigavolt wasn't too fazed, "You are aware of what prinnies are, correct?" Oh crap, Gigavolt is going to spill what we are to the ponies, dood. "They are penguins from Hades, servants and vassals to the current leader, right?" Twilight answered, dood. "Servants and vassals from Hades, yes. Penguins? No, they are souls from other worlds that have commit crimes in their life, the more they sin, the longer they stay as a prinny, they complete tasks to one day walk under the red moon and reincarnate back into the world of the living." Gigavolt explains, Applejack and Fluttershy were taken back by this, Pinkie Pie, who appeared out of nowhere was eating pop corn, dood. But Twilight, she turned around to face us with anger in her eyes. "You guys lied to me, you said you were just penguins. So that's what the stitching is for, to keep your soul bound, and if the stitching comes off, your soul will be exposed and it will explode." Damn she's good, dood. I was at panic mode five, so were the rest of us. "I'm sorry Twilight, if I told you we were bad guys forced to become the bitch of demons to pay for our sins, you probably be scared of what we could do." I said, I was ashamed of myself, dood. "You still lied, Fusion Fool, that's very bad, but we'll talk about that and trust later." She turned back to Gigavolt, "You still can't have them." Twilight stood defiantly to the demon pony, dood. Gigavolt sighed, dood, "I wasn't asking if I can have them, I merely implied that if you get in my way, accidents will happen." she said, she's going to do something bad, dood. "Answer is still no, you can't have them." Applejack walks to Twilight's right with Pinkie at her left, Fluttershy still hanging back. "Very well, it was a pleasure meeting you all." Gigavolt's horn started to cackle in electricity, as it hit the ground, a line of electricity started to move erratically towards the mares, this was her Zap Tap attack, dood. It touched them and shocked Twilight, AJ, and Pinkie into the back wall. "I may break the fourth wall every now and then and do things that makes Twilight's head spin, but even I know electrical shocks like that doesn't just send ponies flying into walls like that." Pinkie ranted, dood. "This is why demon reality is better then this 'normal' reality." The evil pony grumbled as she charged for another Zap Tap. The girls got back on their hooves as Twilight started to charge her own spell, Twilight fired her spell as Gigavolt did her own, Twilight jumped out of the way as we watch the wall the bolt of electricity hit received a new door. The spell Twilight fired hit Gigavolt in the face, dood, she leaned back form the impact, Chocolate fell from her back and tried to roll towards us. "Bad Idea, Miss Sparkle." she said, as she re-assumed her normal composure, her horn started to charge a larger spell, "Doesn't matter, I wanted to avoid incident, the Prinnies will return to Hades when they die, so why don't we just cut the middle man and add a few more prinnies to Hades." Gigavolt says, her grin growing wider as her spell was nearing completion, crap, Satellite Launch dood. For your information readers, Gigavolt built a Satellite to float in the orbit of whatever world she is in, because of this, her teleports take more energy cause she just has to bring that thing with her everywhere she goes, just in case she just has to blow something or someone up with her Satellite Launch, this will end badly, dood. A blue blur hits Gigavolt in the side losing her concentration and maybe causing her Satellite to stop sending us to hell with a electric death. "Was this mare causing trouble, guys? She looked suspicious and started casting things and talking like a lame Nightmare Moon." Rainbow Dash said getting up but standing on top of Gigavolt, the demon pony didn't look happy, dood. "A Lame Nightmare Moon? Guess that is believable since that's the only evil thing that could invade Equestria, but it still stands that you are now in deep shit, all of you." Gigavolt zapped Rainbow Dash off her and went back to her 'destroy the area with a Satellite Laser' plan, dood. "First off, what about Discord? He's evil, and you can't swear, this is a show for little girls." Pinkie said, you tell her, dood. Twilight started to charge her own spell in hopes to stop Gigavolt, Applejack and Rainbow Dash (who just recovered from the electric shock) headed in to tackle her, dood. Gigavolt looked annoyed by Pinkie's outburst and stopped channeling her spell, "Discord isn't evil, he is chaotic, the difference being that evil doers want to hurt ponies, while chaotic beings just want to have fun, regardless of who it hurts, it does sound evil but it doesn't make them evil, look at Deadpool, for examp-oof" Gigavolt was cut-off by our favorite farmer and bi-curious flyer tackling her into the ground, I still can't believe she stopped her attack just to tell Pinkie off, dood, that's just weird and kinda dumb. AJ and Dash got off Gigavolt in time to let Twilight get a clear shot of the demon, launching her own spell, it hits Gigavolt in the horn, she felt that one, dood. "That is it, no more miss nice demon." She uses her magic to levitate us prinnies, AJ, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight in the air and starts electrocuting us. the pain was bad, dood, and the ponies were not liking it at all, "Hey!" a voice came from near the register. Fluttershy came out of her hiding spot and marched her flank up to Gigavolt, oh crap dood, the STARE. It appears not even demons are immune to it, Gigavolt was struggling to keep her spell up as Fluttershy stared into her soul and busting it's cap with her eyes, dood. "Put my friends down, right now, missy." Gigavolt did just that, dood. "You should be ashamed of yourself, you shouldn't hurt ponies, and you definitely shouldn't kill anyone, even these nice prinnies, so what that they are the souls of criminals, they can earn their reincarnation here, but you should never force someone to do something they don't want to do, what kind of example are you setting for others? Now clean up your mess, and go home, NOW!" I don't know what Fluttershy meant by others since demon kids will love to see a demon roast other demons, but she still scared the crap out of a demon, pony or not, and that earned her points with us. Gigavolt shook her head, trying to break out of the Stare's effect. "I don't need to do anything about your mess, however, I will be back to get the prinnies, mark my words." A bolt of lightning hit Gigavolt and she vanished with it. "That was too close, dood, good thing Pinkie distracted her and Shy soul-stared her." Chocolate said, getting his breath back. "We still need to be careful, I'll talk to Rarity about helping us, but I want to make sure one of us has a Prinny at all times, I don't want them to be left alone." Twilight ordered, the plan seems legit to me, dood. We returned to the Library and find Spike sitting at a desk, looking gloomy dood, "Hey Spike, whats the matter, dood." Super Pal asked. "We found a big ruby out at the mountain but found out it was just a big boulder, we turn around and find that Chocolate disappeared, Rarity was angry and stormed back to her house." Spike recalled, I called it dood. "I'll tell her, who did that trick tomorrow, we all need some sleep after today." Twilight said, dood. Spike's curiosity peaked. "What happened?" he asked, dood. "We were almost vaporized by a demon pony's satellite laser because she wanted us to return to Hades, dood." Mr. K said, walking to the makeshift bed on the main floor. I want this day to end, dood. Gigavolt came here under orders to get us back and I think she was told to do this with discretion, but will gladly kill some ponies if they keep bothering her. This is a pain in the ass, dood. Next Episode Fusion Fool: A new foe has appeared, dood. Twilight: Yea, we need to stop Gigavolt eventually. Gigavolt: Drinking my orange juice, right here. Mr. Kamikaze: OH GOOD GOD, DOOD, RUN! Gigavolt: I can't do shit in this segment, only in the real chapters, Rules laid down by NIS. Fluttershy: So you won't try to hurt us with Zap Tap or Satellite Launch? Gigavolt: Not in this segment. Fusion Fool: The dreaded pony Gigavolt as taken Luna hostage, dood! Gigavolt: Why? Whats my motivation? Money, power, lust? Fusion Fool: Only Twilight Sparkle can save the Princess of the Night, dood. Twilight: Every time Fusion Fool does this, Only I can save the day, apparently. Gigavolt: You sound bored. Fusion Fool: A battle between Pure Magic and Static Manipulation draws near, dood. Pinkie: That would be totally neat to watch. Super Pal: I know, dood. Fusion Fool: Next Episode: The Battle for the Moon! Watch as this epic battle shatters the the face of the moon itself, dood. Luna: Not my Moon! Twilight: Why the moon? I can't breathe in space. Gigavolt: Gotta love being a demon, mare. And thus, Gigavolt enters the stage, I am sorry again. So now Gigavolt will be a regular opponent for the Mane6 in her quest to get rich by stealing the prinnies away to Hades, under Valvatorez's orders, don't worry dood. Gigavolt will stop being a jerk eventually, after Valzy makes a appearance eventually, dood. Dammit, spoilers, dood.
Want It, Need It, DoodThe late updates is because we Prinnies work 20 hour days, so we only have 4 hours of free time, so yea, and most prinnies wanna spend that sleeping, dood. ~dood~[/hr] A week has passed since Gigavolt attacked us at Sugarcube Corner, ever since then, the Mane6 has been making sure we are never left alone, but at the same time, we are forced to work harder then usual, not as bad as back in Hades, mind you, dood. The girls have been more cautious around us ever since they found out we are criminals from the human world, dood, so they make sure we earn our reincarnation by working us half way to the bone, our eight hours a day has changed to twelve hour days, but the pay remains the same, so that’s still good for us, dood. According to Master Cupcake, Pinkie and him ran around Ponyville giving invitations to her 'best-est' friends, so it'll be a small gathering of six ponies, a dragon-whelp, and five prinnies, dood. Twilight of course wanted to make sure she was prepared for any surprises Pinkie may throw at her, in case Pinkie wanted to prank her guests. Me and Mr. K are basically cleaning the library, Chocolate was sent to help Applejack with the apple harvest, and Super Pal is helping Fluttershy taking care of animals, Spike is being Twilight's number one assistant at the moment, getting her supplies and what-not, in other words, dood, it'll be a boring day until the party tonight. “I'm pretty sure she'll just spike the punch, dood.” Mr. K says, while dusting one of the bookshelves, dood. “Nah, too simple dood, I bet she'll make water balloons and fill them with red paint, then drop them on everyone, dood.” I say, just to shut him up, shame the fanfiction writers have warped his mind, dood. “What if she drugged the cupcakes, dood? And we all wake up in her basement, with our entrails everywhere and being used as ingredients for the cupcakes she sells up front? If this is the case and I don't get the chance to say it, can some one tell her to bake me into a muffin and serve me to Derpy, dood? She needs some good will after that parental attack from Last Round-up, dood.” Mr. K pleads, dood. Twilight and Spike look at him like he's a mental patient, which isn't far off, dood. “She won't bake us into cupcakes, dood, Me and Master Cupcake just explained it to you, seven times yesterday, dood.” I am about ready to show him love and tolerance with the back of my flipper, dood. “What sort of imagination do you prinnies have?” Twilight asks, confused and a minute away from being disgusted, dood. “Humans and Prinnies have our fanart and fanfiction, dood, ofter used as a power of good to make our fellow bronies know that 'this pony is a bad ass' or this pony is too cute' or unfortunate cases that ruin our fandom in the eyes of those that want My Little Pony to stay innocent, like clopfics and grimdark, Mr. K here takes grimdark too seriously, and only the Rainbow Dash prinnies like the clopfics since Rainbow Dash is basically a flying pride symbol to the community, but again, that’s frowned upon to many of us, as well, dood.” I explain, dood. Twilight and Spike look on, trying to process what I just said, dood. “So bronies can be the nicest of people or the creepiest.” Twilight tries to piece together. “Yes, dood, and it's the creepiness that makes everyone think we bronies are middle aged men in our underwear watching a little girl's show giggling like we should be in a asylum, dood.” I said. Mr. K starts poking me with the duster in his flipper. “I think we should stop raping the fourth wall, dood, otherwise people may think this is a clopfic with how badly we are beating it.” I nod in agreement, dood. Lady Sparkle and Spike are both confused beyond belief, dood. “Is this the same fourth wall Pinkie talks about?” Twilight asks. “Probably, dood.” Mr. K says. “Oh darn, we are so late, Fusion, why didn't you tell me the party was happening now?” Twilight scolds me, dood. “I was trying to get your attention for a half hour, dood, you kicked me in the face ten minutes ago telling me to shut up, Mr. K was too scared to go near her because of that savage attack to my beak, dood.” Spike riding on Twilight's back (lucky son of a bitch, dood) “If you are a fan of Twilight like you claim to be, you'd know that you can't take a book away from Twilight or you might as well be asking for some hurting.” We continue our sprint to Sugarcube Corner, with just seconds to spare, Twilight opens the door, with us following behind her. We are faced with a rather odd predicament, all the other girls are staring at Twilight, with bedroom eyes, no sign of Master Cupcake, Super Pal, or Chocolate, the floor has five cups of , what I assume to be, punch. The girls start moving towards us, but I am pretty sure they want Twilight, and I am pretty sure they are thinking of what to do with Lady Sparkle's horn, dood. “Run, dood.” I tell Twilight, she didn't need to be told twice, teleporting out of there, the girls all flood out of there, trying to catch the lavender mare. We start to investigate the party now that the girls are now occupied, dood. “I knew that Pinkie would spike the punch, dood.” Mr. K says. Me and Spike look at him, “Why would she fall victim to her own prank, dood?” I ask him. He tries to defend his logic. "Pinkie is Pinkie, dood." “Drugged punch, and why aren't the other prinnies here?” Spike asks “If all the girls were here, the other prinnies should have been here too.” We all come to a simple conclusion, Gigavolt, dood. “OK, me and Spike will go find Gigavolt, Mr. K, you go help Twilight, dood.” I ordered. “SWEET, DOOD!” he answered. “No shipping, dood” I uttered. “Aw man, dood.” Mr. K didn't like that, I am pretty sure he'd try to mess with Twilight to purposely have it all happen. “Come on, dood. Can't we chalk this up to Twilight's already great swag and let them have her?” He tried to reason with me. “Cause I am trying to keep MLP innocent, not into a pervert's paradise, dood.” I say, I think I heard him say “then why write this situation into your story, dood.” under his breath as he walks out the door. Me and Spike start patrolling the area, dood. Every once in awhile, I see Mr. K trying to mess with Rainbow Dash's flying by steering her away from Twilight, only to be ninja kicked by Rarity a little while later, or bucked off by Applejack. He also tries to push the ponies away from her, and he also managed to make a fake Twilight, which actually fooled them for 5 minutes before they proceeded to beat Mr. K into the dirt then go back to their magic hunt (see what I did thar, dood?). Me and Spike were not making any progress, dood. No sign of a electrical pony with three prinny captives, only darkness, the sounds of giggling and one sound of fear, and then the sound of “shut up” from what I think is the ponies trying to sleep. After 20 minutes of searching we find Gigavolt getting ready to send our friends to Hades, I go in and let loose Prinny Barrage, which catches her by surprise, “Damn, at least this saves me some time in finding you, where is Mr. Kamikaze, Fusion Fool?” She asks, recovering from my attack, I was about to answer her, until all of us see him pulling on Applejack's tail, trying to slow her down from catching Twilight, dood. “I see, so my plan worked rather well.” Me and Spike tried to look as angry as a baby dragon and a prinny can look> “You drugged the punch with a love potion, didn't you.” Spike accuses, dood. The green mare remained neutral in her facial features, dood.“Yes, I wanted to try out a little potion me and some professors made, the infamous, 'Want it, Need It' spell was our base of course, but I had to modify it so that appears to be a simple love spell, for you see, this potion, makes the victims dependent on the very existence of the first person they see, it was a real gamble on the girls not looking at each other after they took the first sip, but chance is something I do enjoy.” Me and Spike look at this demented mare in astonishment, dood. “That’s scary, dood.” I say, cause this is a inconvenience to everyone not just the victims. “But I am giving you prinnies what you want, Twilight has lordship over her friends, with a command the girls will do anything she tells her too, the love by product of it all makes them want a physical touch like a pat on the head or a hug, or something more meaningful, as a reward.” Gigavolt uses her zap tap to trip me and Spike, making us fall on our butts, dood. “Now, Fusion Fool, be a dear and stand with your brothers, so I can get you all, I can get that weakling Mr. K easily afterwords.” she says, Spike goes up to try and punch her only to do no damage, “I don't think dragon brats can hurt a demon pony of lv. 3000, but with a push of my hooves into your skull, I can kill you.” Spike backs away for a moment, “Good move, kid.” I walk up to the mean, mean, mare, defeated. Spike, looks to his side to see Twilight running near us, drugged friends, behind her, this gives him a idea. “Hey Twilight, order the girls, tell them to charge Gigavolt.” Twilight hears this and start running in Gigavolt's direction, “Girls, charge the green unicorn and tie her up.” Twilight yells, she then makes a sharp turn to find a hiding spot, while the girls go from bedroom eyes to beastly aggressive eyes, Rainbow Dash effectively smashing into Gigavolt, hooves first, with the girls smashing into her, I still can't believe I just saw Fluttershy do a elbow drop to Gigavolt's Abdomen, dood, and Applejack comes in with some rope, tying the demon up around her midsection with her forelimbs caught under the rope, “Whats the point of tying a unicorn up if I can magic myself out of this?” Gigavolt asks, Twilight pokes her head out of a bush she was hiding in to use her magic to keep the demon pony from casting anything, a impressive feat, dood. “Hah, I got her, now Twilight will reward me!” says the brainwashed pegasus, dood. “Um, I think my technique got her, Rainbow, but I guess if you want, I just want my chance at Twi, too.” Fluttershy mumbled, dood. Applejack starts getting annoyed, dood. “My rope, my win, now where are ya, Twi?” Rarity pushes Applejack to the side. “Come now, dear. I won this. Twilight is mine.” They all start to argue on who Twilight should reward and who should have her, basic brainwashed shipping thing, dood, Pinkie pops up with Twilight in her front hooves, saying “Twilight is mine, I win the brainwashed love game, is Twilight my prize?” she says, all the other giving her death glares, and THE stare from Fluttershy, Pinkie blissfully ignores them all, “What is the antidote, Gigavolt, or I tell these girls to do something drastic.” Twilight threatens, trying to get herself out of Pinkie's grip, dood. Gigavolt gave Twilight a look that screams you can't do sh*t, dood. “I think whatever they have planned for you is worse then what you can tell them to do to me.” she says, dood. Twilight gives her a mean smirk, dood. “Rainbow, can you get me a Ursa Minor?” "You got it!” the cyan pegasus says, as she zooms into the forest, dood. “Pinkie get me the punch from the party, she gives Twilight a salute with her left hoof, letting Twilight go in the process, running back into Sugarcube Corner. Tthe rest of you, guard Gigavolt.” the remaining ponies in the group stare Gigavolt down, the Stare crippling the demon mare very well, dood. After a brief explanation on the potion, Twilight sighed and gave the girls a pat on the head, knowing full well that she'll have to do the same thing for Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. With that said, dood, Pinkie comes back with the punch, Twilight rewards her with a pat on the head before Rainbow Dash comes back with a Ursa Minor chasing her. Twilight uses her magic to gag Gigavolt and feed the punch to the Ursa, all the prinnies and ponies get away from the green unicorn as Twilight uses her magic to make the giant bear look at Gigavolt, the poor mare's eyes go wide as the bear walks to her and hugs her, causing the unicorn to gasp for breath. Twilight levitates the mare out of the Ursa grip, removes the gag but also lowering the volume of Gigavolt's voice so she doesn't order the Ursa to attack, “How do you reverse this?” she orders. “Poison Joke, poison joke is the cure, make a tea out of it and that will cure it.” Gigavolt replied, glaring at the giant purple bear, dood. Twilight tells us prinnies to go get the poison joke, after a short trip to Everfree Forest, Twilight brews the prankster plant and feeds it to her friends and the Ursa. “Did any pony else had a dream where Twilight was just the best pony ever?" Pinkie asked, dood. All the other ponies groan in agreement, they just can't take the truth, dood. “Must have been a dream, since the best pony is me.” Rainbow Dash exclaims, dood. Twilight asks Fluttershy to talk to the Ursa and get Rainbow Dash to say sorry, After the Ursa leaves, all that was left to deal with was the handicapped Gigavolt. “Go back home, Gigavolt, you lose again.” Twilight orders, dood. “Very well, I am at a disadvantage at this time, but I will return, and I will try and get Valvatorez's approval to use any means to return the prinnies to Hades, that also means, by your destruction.” Twilight's ward over Gigavolt's magic gone, she teleports out of Equestria, dood. Twilight falls to the ground passed out. “What in the hey happened?” Applejack asked. “She had a long night, and I think she has done enough running to last her the year, dood.” I say, as we prinnies go to lift Twilight, and us and Spike leave to take Twilight to bed. Eventually all these failures will get Valvatorez to get us, and when that day comes, we were ready since chapter 2, dood. Next Chapter! Valvatorez: The Want It, Need It spell causes havoc across the Netherworld. Twilight Sparkle: What? No Fusion Fool doing this? After what just happened, I don't think I can take more of this 'shipping' thing. Valvatorez: Sardines, or pilchards, are several types of small, oily fish related to herrings, family Clupeidae. The term sardine was first used in English during the early 15th century, and may come from the Mediterranean island of Sardinia, around which sardines were once abundant. Twilight Sparkle: What? Valvatorez: The terms sardine and pilchard are not precise, and what is meant depends on the region. The United Kingdom's Sea Fish Industry Authority, for example, classifies sardines as young pilchards. One criterion suggests fish shorter in length than 6 inches (15 cm) are sardines, and larger ones pilchards. The FAO/WHO Codex standard for canned sardines cites 21 species that may be classed as sardines; FishBase, a comprehensive database of information about fish, calls at least six species "pilchard", over a dozen just "sardine", and many more with the two basic names qualified by various adjectives. Fusion Fool: Oh no, he is talking about sardines again, dood. Applejack: Two can play this game. The apple is the pomaceous fruit of the apple tree, species Malus domestica in the rose family (Rosaceae). It is one of the most widely cultivated tree fruits, and the most widely known of the many members of genus Malus that are used by humans and ponies. Apples grow on small, deciduous trees. The tree originated in Western Neighsia or Asia for the human world, where its wild ancestor, Malus sieversii, is still found today. Apples have been grown for thousands of years in Asia(Neighsia) and Europe(Unicornia), and were brought to North America(Equestria) by European colonists(Apple Family). Apples have been present in the mythology and religions of many cultures, including Norse, Greek and Christian traditions. In 2010, the fruit's genome was decoded, leading to new understandings of disease control and selective breeding in apple production. Valvatorez: I didn't know that about apples, but are they rich in Vitamin B12, phosphorus, calcium, potassium, and some trace minerals like iron and selenium, and Omega-3 fatty acids? And did you know they are a good source of vitamin D, calcium, and protein? Applejack: Not at all, but they have Vitamin A, Thiamine (vit. B1), Riboflavin (vit. B2), Niacin (vit. B3), Pantothenic acid (B5), Vitamin B6, Folate (vit. B9), Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium, and Zinc. may also help with heart disease, weight loss, and controlling cholesterol. Twilight: Don't the seeds of a apple have mild poison? Applejack: they do, but not very effective to ponies or humans, but birds tend to stay away, it's just important to eat them in moderation. Valvatorez: With the exception of Sardines, it should be common knowledge to enjoy your favorite food in moderation, but sardines must be enjoyed all the time, and at every chance you get. Twilight Sparkle: True shame that ponies are herbivores, and don't eat meat like sardines. Valvatorez: YOU POOR CREATURES! I'd like to thank copy and paste for their usefulness in this chapter, I also want to thank Wikipedia for the apple and sardine facts, dood.
Parties, and awkward birds and bees, dood.How about that, dood, I FINALLY updated, I am such a bad author. ~dood~[/hr] Gigavolt seemed steamed when we saw her roaming Ponyville. We all know she is plotting something; as she has a tendency to go to the restaurant, eat and scheme, then leave without paying, teleporting out of there before anyone notices, dood. Me and the other Prinnies continue our chores, dood, for our apples, sardines, and bits. As we cleaned, Super Pal found a book in the corner, dood; evidently it was a spell book, in which we gave to Twilight since that’s her field. She learned the ability to multiply herself by up to three copies, she also made water out of thin air, and a spell that alters the voice patterns of a pony, don’t see how that would be useful unless you were a spy, dood. Yesterday, Gigavolt approached Twilight. We were expecting a fight, but all Gigavolt asked was “May I have the prinnies?” in a calm voice. Of course Twilight said no, causing Gigavolt to facehoof and walked away, mumbling something about why she thought that would work, dood. I think she made a small repair shop on the edge of town seeing as she’ll be here until we go back to Hades, and since she tried to kill everypony at least once each, not too many ponies would touch her with a thirty foot pole, dood. I think Pinkie tried to gather ponies for a “Welcome to Ponyville, Gigavolt” Party, which is pretty much the same as pulling the teeth of everything that lives in Ponyville now, including Gigavolt since she doesn’t like anypony, dood. Three hours before the party, Twilight and her friends went on ahead to get Gigavolt and search her for any tricks like the love potion that was used, or anything else, while we, the prinnies, went around the party itself to, tending to the guests. Everypony was on edge, praying to their goddess that lived around forty-five kilometers away that Gigavolt won’t zap them, dood. The seven girls came in, with Gigavolt following Twilight in. “So you are using the prinnies, what are you paying them?” Gigavolt asked. Twilight glared at the green demon. “I pay them what they deserve.” Gigavolt gave the best pony a confused look, dood. “A sardine every twenty hours?” Twilight shook her head. “No, a apple, a cupcake, a sardine, and some bits for eight hours of work.” Gigavolt looked surprise, “You still know they are criminals from other worlds, right? They are lucky to have a sardine every twenty hours, that’s what they are paid, the money they earn is put into a savings account that should only be used when the prinny is ready to reincarnate.” Gigavolt explained dood “And furthermore, if Valvatorez finds out you have been overpaying them, he will-ack!” Gigavolt was dragged off by Pinkie Pie to greet every. Single. Pony. In. Ponyville. Dood. Me and the others laughed as Gigavolt was forced to introduce herself to everypony in town and apologize for trying to kill them for a bunch demonic penguins, we are rather shocked on how forgiving they were for something so dire, the party itself went rather well, Pinkie forced our demonic friend to dance, and be merry, Demon Ponies shouldn’t be merry, dood. She had fun, managed to not burn our eyes with dance skills that no pony will understand. In the end, we still had fun, Gigavolt even said she’ll take a hiatus on trying to drag us back to Hades, and when she does go back to her old ways, she Pinkie Pie swore not to try to kill any pony in the process, I doubt she knows the meaning behind how sacred a Pinkie Promise is the party pony, dood. The next morning, Gigavolt was in the library, saying something about catching up on the times, dood. Rainbow Dash still doesn’t like her too much, neither does anypony else that isn’t a walking pink sugar-high, dood, to be honest, I think Twilight and Fluttershy try to be friends with her, as much as they don’t want to be friends with somepony that wanted them dead for several chapters. ~dood~[/hr] Twilight searched Ponyville for her friends, Big Macintosh claims that Applejack went into town an hour ago; Carousel Boutique was empty, which is strange in itself; the Cakes said that Pinkie left a little while ago too; Fluttershy wasn’t at her cottage, Rainbow Dash wasn’t practicing over her usual air space; what was wrong with the world Twilight thought. ‘Where is everypony’ she thought, as she walked to her library home. She opened the door. It was too dark for her liking, so she turned on a light and used her telekinesis to grab a book from one of the many bookshelves. As she entered her own bed room, she saw something rather peculiar: a sizable cloth covering her floor with a golden pail with a bottle of champagne inside, a very odd thing. She approached the oddity in her room, when five shadows came upon her, grappling her some fighting among each other to see who is first- ~dood~[/hr] “And then they fucked, dood.” I said “Are you serious? First you drag me over here to help you write a story, told that you were going to write a clopfic, then you cockblock your readers with THAT?” Gigavolt said steamed that I wasted her time, dood. “I’m not good at clopfics, dood.” I said like a boss, dood. Gigavolt sighs as a knock comes to the Library door, “I got it, dood!” Super Pal yells out to everyone within hearing distance. “Sweet Celestia fucking Twilight, dood, it’s HERE!” he says, me and Gigavolt both hope he suddenly explodes for saying the dumbest thing ever, Meanwhile in Canterlot Celestia and Luna were reading in their study when an odd curse is heard, Celestia groans “I wish ponies will stop cursing my name already.” Luna giggled as Celestia levitated a bit into an overflowing jar of bits with her name on it, next to it was a jar with Luna’s name on it, with possible twenty-five bits in it. “So, you were doing what to your student, sister?” Luna asked in a confused and worried tone. “I don’t know, my dear sister, and thankfully, I don’t wish to know.” Celestia groaned, looking like she had a headache. Back in Twilight’s Library “The Princess doing ’what’ to me?” Twilight asked Super Pal who was holding on to a package with his flippers. “My story came in, dood, ordered it from straight from Earth; it’s rather hard to get a package that has to come here from two dimensions, dood.” Super Pal answered with pride. “That doesn’t answer my question.” Twilight groaned, dood. Super Pal was sweating bullets/ “Heh, slip of the tongue, dood?” “Slip of the tongue is usually a single word, not a phrase.” Gigavolt said; Super Pal looked like he was going to explode where he stood. “What package?” I asked, possibly saving Super Pal’s life. “My clopfic is here, ‘Rainbows over the Horizon’; it’ll be so awesome, dood.” He said jumping for joy; Gigavolt was confused, as were the rest of us in the room. “Prinnies don’t have sexual organs; they don’t even have rectums, for crying out loud.” Gigavolt piped up, a sigh coming from me. “Then why do I always feel pain in my butt when I wake up hung over, and some demon is all happy holding on to me with a strap-on or otherwise, dood?” he asked. He got Gigavolt to facehoof, “They probably opened a hole between the stitching where the white of your suit meets the purple, thus literally making you a new hole.” I don’t know when Lady Sparkle got Super Pal’s package, but she was reading it… “Please, Dash, don’t stop.” Twilight said. "As Rainbow Dash continued to lick her lover’s horn, the unicorn’s hooves were holding her Pegasus by her thighs as she pulled the athlete down on to her-" Twilight turned to Super Pal with a blank face. “What did I just read?” Twilight said, dood. “It’s a clopfic, dood.” Super Pal said, “You know how rare it is to get a good Futalight Sparkle Fic? You got to pay millions of Hel to even find the site that has one on it, too much Futashy, dood.” Super Pal said with a smug tone, I turned to see Gigavolt’s eye twitching, Twilight looked like her brain was trying to process the information then dump that same information into the trash, dood. “Super Pal, I want to hit you so hard right now.” Gigavolt says holding her face with her hoof again; she looks up with a puzzled expression, levitates a book with her electric telekinesis, and then hurls it at Super Pal’s face, dood. “Ouch, dood, why did you do that, dood?” he asked. “Because I remembered the fact that I am a demon, so why waste such an opportunity to do so, as well, why bring a clopfic into a land of happiness and sickeningly sweet ponies?” She was so mad, she flipped a table in the kitchen with her magic to make a point, too bad Master Cupcakes was hit by it, dood. “Fusion Fool was writing a clopfic moments ago, dood.” He said in his defense. “Fusion Fool couldn’t write a clopfic if two ponies were doing it right in front of him, and his life depended on it.” Gigavolt rebuked, dood. “So a clopfic is a story about two ponies mating?” Twilight asked, still holding her shocked expression. “Yea, usually involving ponies that have been given names and faces; such as yourself, your friends, your enemies, and the miscellaneous ponies of Ponyville.” Gigavolt answered, dood. “I’m going to go lie down, now, please, make sure that no pony enters my room, not even by window.” Twilight says, slowly making her way to her room, still dazed, dood. “That went well, dood.” I say Next Episode! Fusion Fool: Lightning clashes with the Earth, dood. Twilight: Not one of these. Fusion Fool: The fair Fluttershy is trapped in the Castle of hatred and other mean things, dood. Fluttershy: Oh my, Twilight: Oh great, what now? Fusion Fool: But then the brave Knight; Twilight Sparkle comes in on her most faithful steed, Celestia, dood. Celestia: I'm sorry, What? Twilight: WHY AM I RIDING THE PRINCESS? Fusion Fool: Only one obstacle is in her way, a knight in rainbow armor, dood. Rainbow Dash: Sounds like a cool knight. Fusion Fool: Can Twilight defeat the Spectrum Destroyer and save the Fair Fluttershy from marrying the evil Count Blueblood, dood? Twilight: So I am going to fight Rainbow Dash, while riding on Princess Celestia, to save Fluttershy from marrying Prince Blueblood. Rainbow Dash: Why am I blocking Twilight's way if I am the only thing stopping Fluttershy from marrying a jerk? Celestia: I would still like to know why I am my student's steed. Fusion Fool: Final Episode: Twishy, the Musical. A epic battle that will take place, and only the best will walk away, dood. Twilight: A musical? Never mind, hey Fusion Fool. Fusion Fool: Yeah, dood? Twilight: When are you going to correct all the mistakes your readers are finding for you in the previous chapters? Fusion Fool: (Silence) Laharl: You told me I was going to be in this chapter, whats the big deal? Fusion Fool: Oh crap, I forgot about you, dood. Laharl: How DARE you forget about me, I will kill you, bring you back to life, and kill you again, and so on, untill you remember who your master is. Fusion Fool: OH SHIT, DOOD! Twilight: Why am I almost glad he didn't show up, I don't think the Elements of Harmony would have worked on him. ~dood~[/hr] Twilight's quip about me not fixing my chapters is pretty much me not flipping you off, but to let you guys know how lazy I am about that stuff, dood. So, I will apologies for making you guys believe that I wasted your time checking for those things. EDIT:(07/11/2012) I fixed all my chapters compared to what everyone have seen, dood!
Wrong Crossover and new Spells, Dood.Can you guess the new added crossover, dood? (retarded laughing) ~dood~[/hr] So I and Mr. K was sent to assist Rarity this time, dood. She was killing eardrums over not finding the gems that would go perfect for this dress for Pinkie Pie, she wants several colored gems; a red, a green, yellow, blue, and purple, at least two of each to make the pattern perfect, dood. Last I checked, Twilight was still reading that weird book we found behind a book shelf so she was busy, dood. Sweetie Belle comes in with a lot more of these round gems than we needed, but Rarity was beaming, dood. “Thank you Sweetie Belle, you are indeed the best sister I could ask for.” Rarity complemented, though while Sweetie was all prideful of her accomplishment, I think there might be a problem with these gems, oh well dood. Shortly after assisting Rarity by being pin cushions or handing her material while she could have used magic, weirdo dood, we want to watch Rainbow Dash do tricks. I don’t understand what the deal is which watching a pegasus flies around doing barrel rolls, loops, and stalls. It’s like watching a bird fly around without all the needless stunts, dood. She still got a standing ovation, so I guess these ponies enjoy watching a pony fly around in circles, I can’t fly very well and I die easily so I guess I can’t really be amazed by a few aerial tricks, dood. The other prinnies enjoyed though so I guess I can’t judge too much. I was now directed to Sugarcube Corner, Mr. K went back to the library with a trail of sweat following him, since we lack a bladder, or a rectum for that matter, dood. So now I am helping Pinkie. “Hiya Fusiony, are you ready?” The party pony asked me. I go “sure, dood, what’s first?” I think my brain went out to lunch dood, cause Pinkie said every ingredient for angel food cake in half a second. “I’m sorry, dood, can you repeat all that in slow-mo?” I ask the party mare. “Didn’t you hear me the first time? We need that package of angel cake mix, 2 cups of heavy whipping cream, 2 tablespoons of confectioner’s sugar. 2 tablespoons of unsweetened cocoa powder, and 2 pints of fresh strawberries, each strawberry must be halved.” Pinkie explained. “OK dood” I acknowledge gather all of ingredients and cutting the strawberries. I pick up the Cake mix packaging for Duncan Hoof Angel Food Cake Mix, dood. “Let’s see, we need to-“Oven is already prepared to 350 degrees Fahrenheit,” the baker interrupted, I look at the package again. “Blend the mix and one and half cups of water in large bowl at low speed until moistened, beat at medium speed for one minute, this warns us in ROYAL LETTERING not to OVER BEAT the mixture. Pour into a 10-inch tube pan, dood.” I look up to see that Pinkie finished all that already. “What’s next?” she asks. “Bake for 38-48 minutes, we may need to check on it around that time, dood. The cake is down when the top is golden brown and cracked, it should look very dry and warm to the touch, again it warns us not to UNDER BAKE in ROYAL LETTERS, hang pan upside down on heat-proof glass bottle until completely cool, after a hour and half, loosen the edges carefully, wait up dood, what do they mean by ‘heat-proof glass bottle’ dood?” I ask and Pinkie shrugs. “Probably a bad typo, since I just use a glass cutting board, anyways it’s done!” Pinkie said. I turn around to see that a process that normally takes 2 or more hours was done in 3 minutes, dood. “Um, OK moving on, dood.” I say before I get creeped out any more. Slice angel food cake in half horizontally. Create a tunnel for the filling by removing a small amount of the interior of the bottom half of the cake, dood.” I finish only hearing a loud “DONE” right next to me. “In a bowl, combine the cream, confectioner’s sugar, and cocoa; whip until soft peaks form. Fold strawberry halves into whipping cream; spoon the cream mixture into cake tunnel, press down firmly, dood.” I look to see Pinkie is done already, smiling like a creeper. “Replace top of cake; pressing gently, use remaining cream mixture to frost the cake, and decorate with any remaining strawberries, dood. Chill for 15 minutes before slicing.” I look to Pinkie only to see that she is not only done, but she is eating it. “Wasn’t that for the party today, dood?” Pinkie chuckles “oh silly, we are going to make 5 more!” Oh great, baking, dood. After that mess, I headed to help Fluttershy when Gigavolt lifted me with her magic, “Alright you, little piece of Rifle Demon shit, where is my materia?” I looked at her with confusion and in fear, dood. “Materia is from Final Fantasy, dood. This is a Disgaea crossover with My Little Pony, why are we adding more to this?” Gigavolt dropped me then zapped me with her Zap Tap attack dood. “Because, now that I am not trying to drag five idiots to Hades, I now have time to figure some things out, such as the material I got one of the thieves to smuggle out of Square Enix, now shut up, and tell me where you and your moronic friends hide them?” If her element wasn’t electricity, I’d swear she was breathing fire, dood. We later heard a loud explosion coming from the Boutique, “So that’s where they are.” The evil unicorn said as she ran towards the large amount of smoke. “Oh shit, dood.” I saw, following her. “Great, someone used my Ice materia.” Gigavolt said as she gazes upon a big ice sculpture that was once the Carousel Boutique. Rarity was in tears on a luxurious sofa, with Spike comforting her and the other prinnies trying to melt the ice by using torches. “What in the hay happened here?” Twilight asked as she gets closer, dood. “No clue sugarcube. One moment it was fine, the next it was incased in ice.” Said Applejack in the world’s best rendering of her southern accent. “I’ll go get something, maybe some hot rain.” Rainbow claimed, rushing off. Gigavolt walked up to the store/sculpture put a bracelet on and said “Fire” and the Boutique was now on fire for 3 seconds before the ice finished melting and it’s all back to normal. why are we adding more to this? “So, has anypony seen some small round stones, looks great to attach to clothing or accessories?” Gigavolt asked. Sweetie Belle raised her hoof. “I found them in an open box near your garbage, Miss Gigavolt.” Gigavolt looked stupefied, “I’m going to kill Sucker Punch the next time I see her. Oh right, Sweetie Belle? Can you lead me to where they are now?” Sweetie nodded and led the demon pony in to find her stolen material. The town was relieved that the trouble is over, though Twilight looked useless and it was clear to see that bothered her, dood. She and Fluttershy helped Rarity back into her shop, which was strangely in mint-condition. Gigavolt came back down a set of stairs with a box of jewels in it, “Hey, those are mine, why are you stealing them?” Rarity ordered. Gigavolt looked back to the fashionista. “They originally belonged to me, and these jewels were the cause of this mess, so I figured you’d thank me for getting rid of them.” And with that Gigavolt was heading back to her machine shop at the edge of town. “How rude” Rarity said, as she tries to find her place in her work again, dood. “Well she did save your boutique, I’m sure she meant well.” Twilight said, “but what’s with those stones?” Super Pal does the stupidest thing ever in… Three... Two... One... “Gigavolt stole materia from a different world called “The Planet”, dood. Why she wants them is unknown, materia is a item created by the lifestream in the other world, this allows anyone to casts spells, they are divided into fivw categories by color; Red is summoning magic, allowing those wielding it to summon dragons, meteors, gods, and other nasty monsters to fight by their side. Blue material is a support material that makes other material stronger like granting the ability to absorb magic or to steal life from enemies, dood. Green is the most common and is called Magic Materia, these guys allow people to cast fire, ice and fire based spells, similar to how the boutique became a storcicle. Yellow is command material, granting strategic changes to one’s basic commands, such as the ability to throw items at the enemy, learn enemy skills, steal items from enemies, or instantly kills foes, dood.” All the ponies in the room cringed at the Deathblow effect, but the moron continued. “Purple material is independent materia, these guys are designed to amplify other-other stuff like how much money you get from beating up monsters, bonuses to statistics, dood.” My eyes grow wide. ‘Crazy green unicorn plus Magic Plus Materia plus Luck Plus Materia plus Master Summons Materia equal No Resistance. Good god, dood.’ I stammer for a bit, dood. “I think we should be careful with the materia Gigavolt has at the moment, Mr. K you go try to steal what you can so we have a fighting chance. GET THE MASTER SUMMON MATERIA, or any other big league summons, like Bahamut or Knights, they are the red stones, as for anything else, grab purple magic and speed materia, any green material that translates to pain for us, like Ultima, or Comet. Leave the rest alone, got it dood?” I commanded, Mr. K gave me a salute and rushed to Gigavolt’s machine shop. “So objects from another dimension are bad, right?” Twilight asked. “In her hooves, they are dood.” I reiterate. With all the stupidity out of the way, and the back of my flipper greeting Super Pal for boring all of you with the Materia explanation. I continued my chores, and headed for Fluttershy’s cottage to help with a new family of squirrels. Rainbow Dash flew past us with a rain cloud, dood, notice us on her way back to the boutique, “Why are you guys leaving the Boutique? Is it still all frozen?” the cyan pegasus asked. “We cleared it up, dood. What happened to ’10 seconds flat’?” I taunted, the speedster didn’t like that one since she made the cloud she was going to use to save Rarity, rain on top of me, dood. As Rainbow Dashed rained on my parade, I reached Fluttershy’ cottage, and she still isn’t here, must still be at Rarity’s place, dood. So I sit on my butt, pull out my Slaystation Portable and play Pony Fantasy six. So in the middle of getting Firefly’s ship for Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy appears to finally give me some direction, dood. Me and Fluttershy went to distribute food to the various squirrel families to prepare for winter, I don’t know why they don’t do that themselves like the ones on earth, dood. At least these ones don’t have to worry about BB guns, dood. One of the little pricks bit me in the peg leg (it may be made of wood, but I still feel it, dood), and I was just mildly annoyed the whole day, Fluttershy did try to cheer me up with some tea though, so that wasn’t too bad, dood. I told her that Mr. K would come by next week to assist her if she needs it, and she said “Thank you, Mr. Fusion Fool.” I was between acting serious for the sake of it and saying “D’AAWWWW” but I kept myself stable, and I headed home, dood. When I entered the library; I was greeted with a bizarre show. Lady Sparkle was in a debate with three other clones of herself, dood. They seem to be surrounding a pile of orbs, meaning Mr. K’s mission was a success, and now the four copies of Twilight now argued with what they should do with them, one of the Twilights spotted me. “Hey Fusion Fool, check out this new spell I learned, excuse me girls I will return.” The Twilight addressing me got up and left the other three to argue some more. She went up to the balcony and BREATHED PURPLE FIRE, DOOD! “It’s a Dragon’s Fire spell from that book we found a while ago, I’m still learning this one called ‘Haste’, and this other one called ‘Stargazer’, so give me time, and I’ll be able to cast that, probably in two days, depends on the star spell. She went down and rejoined the group of Twilights in the main room. I don’t know what came first, dood, me shitting bricks, or me fainting. All I know is that both happened. Next Episode! Fusion Fool: A horrible event has occurred, Trixie is now princess of Equestria, dood. G&P Trixie: How is that bad? Twilight: How did she in the first place? Fusion Fool: Through the dark arts, Trixie has enslaved all ponies and have taken the fair Fluttershy hostage, dood. Fluttershy: Oh my. Fusion Fool: But not hope is all lost, dood! For Treasure Hunter Daring Do and the Knight Gilda have a plan to resuce the kingdom! Twilight: Hey, I'm not fodder for this, later. Daring Do: What am I doing now? Gilda: Why am I helping a nation of wimps? Fusion Fool: The Great and Powerful Army is too mighty for the two so they must recall a ancient hero from time's past. Twilight: Spoke to soon. Fusion Fool: The mare long said to destroy armies with a cast of a simple magic missile, she who said to cast the darkness out of the corners of Equestria, THE LEGENDARY TWILIGHT SPARKLE, dood. Twilight: Darn it. Daring Do: And I thought my stories were weird. Gilda: How is a nerd going to help us beat up a showmare? Trixie: But of course this will end in a epic bout between Trixie and Twilight Sparkle. Fusion Fool: Final Episode: The Great and Powerful Regime; The Rise of the Lavender Hero! Sit tight Fluttershy, Trixie has nothing on the Best Pony, dood. Rainbow Dash: Wait, when did I start fighting Trixie? I though Twilight was fighting her? Chocolate: Here's Chapter Two of 'Welcome to Equestria, dood" read that, for why we said it like that, dood. Applejack: Nice enough to not add me in your story. Fusion Fool: I didn't know where to put you, dood. I'm sorry. Yuffie Kisaragi: Where are my materia? Gigavolt: Piss off, Bitch. ~dood~[/hr] Next Episode segment dragged for a bit, but yea.....I am just a bad author, but I am at least trying to spell things right. I await everyone going "What the fuck is this?" and "This gave me eye cancer, dood." By the way, the angel food cake recipe me and Pinkie made is in fact a real recipe i found on a random site, Pinkie Pie Logic just made the process faster, dood.
Darkness and a Ass Kicking, dood.I wanted to add another Disgaea character to the story, dood, now here he is! ~dood~[/hr] This chapter starts out in Rarity’s shop, she managed to convince the Council of Twilight to give up the materia, so now she is using them for dresses, now knowing to never let Sweetie Belle near them, thinking she can handle them better, dood. “So, why are you attaching the very things that turned the Boutique into an ice sculpture to jewelry?” Rainbow Dash asked, nudging a green orb that hung from her neck. “Ss dangerous as they may be, I am sure that we can use them safely, since we now know that to use them, we utter the command for It.” The marshmallow pony said in a dignified manner while levitating a yellow orb. “Do you know which orb does what, sugar cube?” Applejack said uneasy about the red orb that is now connected to her Stetson Hat, Rarity was about to say something but couldn’t for the life of her figure the answer out, dood. “No idea, maybe Twilight or even the prinnies know? Super Pal did explain to us what they are.” “I have no idea which each one is, dood. Only Gigavolt would know since she has a P.I.A.S.S. dood” Super Pal said, a P.I.A.S.S is an acronym for Portable. Inventory. And. Status. Screen. Basically all the menus players had access to in video games; Gigavolt can bring up in reality, dood. “ So do we borrow it from Gigavolt, or can we purchase from a secret store?” Rainbow Dash inquired, dood, I shake my head and say “Nah, Gigavolt built it herself, remember that she is great at technology, so she probably has a whole lot of machines designed for everything in her workshop, dood.” All the ponies and the prinnies that are not me sigh, dood. We head to Twilight’s library to see if she can help us, only to see a bizarre sign, there were still four Twilights, but one was a giant spider with her own webbing, big purple spider, like a black widow but replace the hourglass with Twi’s cutie mark, her head was spider-like too, but no fangs, her normal mane cut was there, and she had the eight eye’s but they seem to be reading from three books at once. There was also a human Twilight sitting on a couch across from Spider-light, tanned complexion (which is remarkable for someone that sits indoors, dood), a purple sweater vest, white shirt underneath and a purple skirt, her hair was in the same style as the original Twilight’s but more of a boring long hair thing, Lyra was sitting next to her reading with her. The final different Twilight had the same body style as Discord, her left arm was a eagle talon, right arm was a bear claw, her legs, torso and head were normal, but her eyes were different, one was yellow the other was purple, she also had a big left fang, she evidently had a bat wing and Pegasus wing on each side of her back, she was reading upside down drink a glass of chocolate milk, then chewing on the milk portion of it after finishing with the glass. The normal Twilight was in the middle of it, still her ponyself, reading the same god damn spellbook we found in Chapter eight, Spike was trying to clean up after the Spider-light Sparkle. “Hey guys, there is a spell here that can alter the shape of anything into whatever I want! I turned a glass of water into pure gold, it’s over there.” She pointed to a bar of solid gold on the counter. “This book is so amazing!” She was as happy as a clam, dood. “That’s cool dood, but can you help us with the materia? We don’t know what each one does, dood.” Mr. K says, because I finally decided to give him lines, dood. Twilight looked at it in deep thought, then looked up to the weird Twilight, “Hey Discord-Twilight, I enhanced you with deciphering, right?” The Draconequus looked down “Yup, what do you need Original-Twilight?” The weird Twilight said as she floated down to look at the green orb we held out, dood. “This one is fire.” She simply said, she went back to her spot by opening a door and reappearing through a curtain. After hearing fire; the Original Twilight panicked and teleported us out of her library, dood. “Sorry everypony, but I don’t want anything flammable in my library.” She said through the door, dood. We got up only to hear a really loud noise, sounded too familiar, dood. “What is that? It’s not bad, actually.” Rainbow Dash said, as she floated to the town square, “Why does this remind me of Trixie?” Applejack said all sour about it. Rarity just made a face as we all made our way to the town square, dood. We prinnies were a little paranoid as we have all heard this track, dood. “Welcome one and all, to the Dark Hero’s first ever show in Equestria! From Hades with love, please give a round of applause to, Axel!” said the humanoid figure on the large stage that took up one third of the entire square. He was a blonde figure with purple lightning-shaped eye brows, he wore a white long coat, with chains around both wrists, he isn’t wearing a shirt underneath his coat, which leaves us all exposed to the star stickers that are placed over each of his…I’d rather not say, dood. He wears purple pants with a chain belt similar to how he wears them around his wrists, he is currently carrying a guitar, Gigavolt is on stage looking like she is about to hurt him. “I’d like to thank Gigavolt for opening the way to Equestria; so that I, the Dark Hero and Netherworld President, Axel can give his equine fans what they deserve.” He yelled into a microphone, dood. Behind him was a pink cat demon that was half his size, it looked like a small baby human in an over sized cat suit but that’s not a costume, she had small bat wings and sharp claws, next to the cat was an angel, light blue hair, rather, celestial dress, with pure white wings, he was bleeding from the mouth, but seemed disappointed in something, dood. Axel looked our direction, and noticed us, dood. “What are prinnies doing in Equestria? You guys aren’t supposed to be here, thankfully since it’s the Dark Hero that found you, he’ll be gentle and let you all stay for his show.” He said with a smirk, I wanted to hit him, dood. “What’s this guy’s problem?” Rainbow Dash asked, now gaining the Dark Hero’s attention, “THE Rainbow Dash, doesn’t know the Dark Hero? Equestria must have been locked down good.” He said with a sad tone, the ponies were confused, “How do you know Rainbow Dash?” Rarity asked, Axel went back to being smug. “It was I and Master Emizel that that brought ‘My Little Pony’ to the Netherworld; you won’t believe how popular you girls are, especially in the human world.” He seemed to be in pure glee, “I didn’t believe the so-called ‘Pinkie Pie’ Prinnies when they said some of the ‘Twilight’ Prinnies found a way here, but when I saw Fenrich order Gigavolt into Equestria, I knew there was a way here.” It sounded like he was gloating, dood. The cat-saber walked up to meet us. “You should feel honored that Axel is a brony, meow. Or he would have killed Celestia and taken this world for himself in a heartbeat, purr," She said, the angel came up next, “Can we leave, Mister Axel? Nothing has tried to kill us yet, I thought there would be things here that would rip us limb from limb, and yet there are only colorful ponies.” The angel seemed sad about this, dood, bloody masochists. “Not to fear, Pink and Main Character B, we are here to throw the concert of a life time, then take over so that ‘My Little Pony’ becomes ‘The Dark Hero Friendship Hour’ with the popularity of the fan base, it’s full proof, now we just need to kidnap Lauren Faust and blackmail her into writing and producing the story for us, and Daniel Ingnam to help me write some catchy songs, it’ll be the best thing ever!” He yells triumphantly, dood, fully believing his idiot plan would work. “We won’t let ya take over Equestria, even if it is for fans.” Applejack stood her ground defiantly, against Axel and his entourage. They laughed dood. “Please, you’re just the farm pony. All you can do is kick things, work and tell the truth, I’ll be worried when Pinkie Pie goes up against me.” As if called upon Pinkie materialized on stage playing the first minute of a mind-bending song; all on a triangle, dood. “Damn, she has some moves, but you guys still don’t have the elements of harmony, Fluttershy, or Twilight, so you can’t stop me.” He said in a very ‘Trixie’ way, dood. He turned and went back up to his stage to meet Pinkie, when from the corner of my eye, I catch the head of Discord Twilight whispering something into Applejack’s ear, a grin came across her face as she said, “Ultimate End.” The ground came loose as Axel, Pink, and Main Character B fell in, they were suddenly attacked by a knight that wielded a buster blade, the second knight struck with a lance, the third casted a powerful fire spell, the fourth flattened them with a mace, the fifth used a long sword, the sixth knight attacked with a hammer, the seventh knight brought the pain with a blizzard spell, the eighth knight slashed by them with a trident, the ninth casts a comet spell, the tenth knight attacked with a naginata, the eleventh brought the hurt with a battle axe, the twelfth decided to be boring by attacking with a simple sword, the thirteenth knight, King ‘mother-fucking’ Arthur, pimped slapped some demons with Excalibur, as the sky cleared up and brought the unfortunate victims back to Equestria, dood. (forgive my use to language for that one, dood.) Axel looked up in fear at Applejack, who was smiling after that scene of awesomeness, a earth pony summoned the Knights of the Round Table, who would have known, dood? “When did you guys get materia?” Axel asked, only to have his face kiss dirt again, as Gigavolt stood on top of his head. “So you stole my materia.” She hopped off Axel’s head and walked up to us, “Give them back.” She sounded pissed, dood. “What if you decide to attack Equestria with these things, you saw what AJ did, and these things could do a lot of damage.” Rainbow Dash yelled, into Gigavolt’s face. Gigavolt maintained her posture as she huffed, “Those things are not toys, and I merely wish to study them, I don’t get a lot of chances at seeing materia due to inter-dimensional travel being a bitch.” We heard some ponies gasp at Gigavolt’s language, dood. “So what, we are keeping them, and that’s that.” Rainbow turned and crossed her hooves. Gigavolt shook her head. “Why am I even asking nicely anymore?” she asked herself as she activated her horn, dood. She forced each materia out of their spot and into a bag she conveniently had on her at the time, dood, the ponies were not amused by this. Gigavolt did the usual annoyed huff thing and walked back to her shop, she at least had the curtesy of levitating Axel and his two friends off the ground, the angel looked like he had the best night of his life, dood, eww. We return to Twilight’s library, to find that it is back to normal, no strange Twilights everywhere, but the one Twilight we all knew was asleep on the ground. Me, Super Pal, and Mr. K help Lady Sparkle to her bed after saying our good bye to Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity. Master Cupcake was apparently in the kitchen all day making snacks for Twilight, her clones, Spike, and himself. Chocolate returned from Fluttershy’s place, and we all sat down to some sardine soup, we joked a bit, spoke of our day, Cupcake and Chocolate cringed when they heard Axel was in town, dood. “Man, I miss all the fun stuff, I was at Fluttershy’s place tending to a wounded Ursa Minor, dood. That’s not very fun.” Chocolate complained. Master Cupcake just shrugged, “at least I had a somewhat quiet day, even with four Twilights, and nothing too bad happened, dood.” We all try to raise a brow, since we lack one, dood “Well, after she multiplied herself and changed their form, they all pretty much read, except for Human-Light, who was also answering questions for Lyra, dood. Anyways, apparently Twilight tried another spell and it opened a path to another world, she poked her head inside and brought out that sword, dood.” We all look towards a big ass sword, it looked like was big even for a demon, gold coloring, that looked rather flat and plain if not for the fact that not only it hooked at the end, dood, it also had a disk floating in it with a fist etched to it. “Well, that’s all for tonight, dood. I can’t stand this madness, dood.” I got up and went to bed, the others trailing behind me. ~dood~[/hr] Next Episode! Fusion Fool: There is a legend in Equestria, dood. Pinkie Pie: Oh boy, who does Twilight save this time? Fusion Fool: They say that a pony that manages to win the heart of the lavender princess will rule Equestria forever, dood. Twilight: Not this. Fusion Fool: Five nations are in a bitter battle to obtain the princess' hoof, only one can win, dood. Rainbow Dash: What with all this 'shipping' as you call it. Master Cupcake: It's one of the many things we do as bronies, though it isn't limited to just that, dood. Fusion Fool: Smaller nations and freedom fighters all now compete against the five nations for the princess, dood. Pinkie Pie: Wait, there is more then five? Who are they? Super Pal: Guys that ship Miss Twilight with Luna, Trixie, Cheerilee, Celestia, Spitfire, and others, dood. Fusion Fool: Next Episode: The Tower of Magic! Princess Twilight is the true heir of Equestria, and only one can rule beside her, dood! Twilight: I don't want to rule, I'd rather read and learn. Celestia: Spoil sport. ~dood~[/hr] this was suppose to be the final chapter, dood, but I forgot how I was going to end this story, now it just looks like I'm milking it, dood. Thank you for reading, and bonus points to who ever can figure out what that sword is at the end of the story, even with my poor description skills.
Gigavolt and the Blank Village, dood.So this story wasn't completely given up to fuel some weird ass Clopfic, dood. I am only working on it cause I am a perfectionist, and even half-ass clopfics require me to work on them until they are enjoyed by all that would enjoy a clopfic from time to time, dood. Anyways, PRINNIES, DOOD! ~dood~[/hr] Lately Gigavolt has been pretty pissed off lately; she was visited by a zombie few days ago, and the light show at her place was neat, but was depressing to see the demon pony drag a trash bag out of her home, dood. The next day, she was called to fix some stuff at the hospital, only to be attacked by that really weird barking pony, dood. The doctors yelled at her for shocking her into a coma. In fact, yesterday; Gigavolt went to do a maintenance check at the train, she was accused of stealing the conductor’s sandwich; she proved her innocence by locating his sandwich and turning it to ash in front of him, dood. She was not having a good time here, dood. I don’t think it was a good idea to start a food fight in the Sugarcube Corner, just as she walked in to grab a snack, dood. She was messed up by a cake hitting her in the face, dood; funny as hell until she started to shock every patron and worker with a weak electrical bolt, then storming back home, dood. Me, Pinkie, and Super Pal ran to the library to address this problem with Twilight, dood; probably she is the problem solver when it comes to things that may eventually end with Equestria getting the shit beaten out of it, dood. “Hey Twilight, I think that Meany McHellfirepants is becoming grumpy, since she shocked everypony and prinny in Sugarcube Corner today because someone threw a cake at her, I think it was Fusion Fool.” Pinkie said; I turn to her all wide-eyed, dood. “You nuts? It was Super Pal, dood. He was aiming for her head.” I said to protect my well-being, dood. “Nu-uh, dood. Totally you, you saw your chance to hit Gigavolt for making you clean that airship she built because you got drunk and keyed it.” Super Pal said, taking a few steps back. Twilight sighed and closed her newest book. “Ok, let’s settle down; first off, why was anypony throwing cakes around in the first place? And second, what’s this about an airship?” she asked, looking to us three, dood. “Someone threw a muffin at Pinkie and she yelled out food fight and we all started throwing food around, and the airship is pretty much Gigavolt’s favorite child; she built it like 100 years ago, I heard it took her 20 years to complete it.” I continue, “I’m just glad she didn’t bring that thing into Equestria, it’s no Yoshitsune, Metal gear LEX, or Super Robo Suit but it is pretty dangerous with all the electrical cannons she put on it, and the nuke she hides somewhere on it, dood.” Me and Super Pal cringe when we remember that monster’s maiden voyage, it’s small but it proved it had enough firepower to turn half a netherworld to ash, dood. “If it makes you all better, I’ll go talk to her about her anger problems.” Twilight said, dood; making us three breathe a sigh of relief, we then watch her walk out her door and head to Gigavolt’s workshop. Super Pal departed to help Chocolate and Mr. K with Applejack’s harvest, so it was left to me and Pinkie Pie to go and spy on Twilight to make sure Gigavolt doesn’t fry her like that sandwich I mentioned earlier. We immediately notice that Gigavolt’s workshop, with is pretty much a big ass wooden shed shaped like a house with no windows and a neon sign on the top; it looks like her cutie mark, dood. We look around for some way to see inside, until Pinkie grabbed an old fashion drill from a tree and made some holes in the side of her house, we peered in to see that Gigavolt’s house is a mess, machinery and gadgets everywhere, it’s like Rarity’s workshop but with machine parts and technological stuff instead of fabrics and sewing materials, dood. We keep looking within to see Twilight trying not to step on anything as Gigavolt leads her to a guard rail in the middle of the room, Twilight looked confused that there is a guard rail in the a place it shouldn’t be until GIgavolt hit a button, and the two descend below ground, causing me to rage, I turn to find Pinkie; only to see that she snuck in through the front door, I had to follow her, dood. We got in and this place is in worse condition than what we thought, dood; nothing leaking on to the ground at least, but still this is a sty. We go over to where we assumed where they stood before they took the weird ass elevator Gigavolt had in her place, the shutter was blocking us and we couldn’t drill out way in, so we had to press our ear (her ear and the side of my head where I figured my ear was, dood) to the shutter to try and hear what was going on. “I gotta say, this room looks fantastic.” We heard Twilight say. “My workshop may be in organized chaos at this time, but I’m not going to sleep in it, that’s why I made a basement.” Gigavolt replied, we heard cups touching a table, I assume the table is made of glass as we heard two unhealthy clinks, dood. “So anyways, is there a problem? I heard you electrocuted everypony and two prinnies in Sugarcube Corner, and I want to make sure this doesn’t happen again.” Twilight said; we can’t see shit so I can’t describe what she is doing. “I have had a bad few weeks, this place is too calm, and the ponies that think they can have me bent over backwards for them believe they can have me do anything for them, I merely taught them their place.” Gigavolt said. “Okay, so you have had a few bad days, we all get them; Have you considered trying to relax every once in a while.” Twilight reasoned; we heard a sip, dood; that’s as descriptive as I can with a shutter blocking us. “I have tried, your idiot friend, Rainbow Dash keeps taking out my power by destroying the thunderclouds I request from the weather patrol; I am sure the first time she did it, it was an accident; but the next six times, means she does it to spite me.” Gigavolt said, we all notice the power fluctuating, as we all hear Gigavolt curse, me and Pinkie head out to see Rainbow destroying a cloud hovering above Gigavolt’s house, dood. “Hey Dashie, whatcha doing?” Pinkie asked, Rainbow finally acknowledge us, dood. “I don’t know why some moron keeps putting a storm cloud here; it’s starting to get on my nerves.” Dash replied, grunting in annoyance. “Uh, dood? Gigavolt asked the weather patrol to leave a cloud there to power her stuff, dood.” I say, Rainbow’s face just drains. “Why didn’t she tell me? I would have left it alone if she’d tell me about this.” Rainbow said, me and Pinkie turn to see Gigavolt and Twilight coming out of the house. Gigavolt turned her head to Rainbow Dash, she was peeved, dood. “I did tell you, you said ‘kay, I won’t touch your clouds’ after you destroyed the first cloud I had there.” Gigavolt said, glaring at the cyan pegasus, dood. “Yeah, I don’t remember that.” She said, rubbing the back of her head with her hoof, dood. “I realize that, and I fear I will have to remind you again in a month, seeing as your memory lasts that long.” Gigavolt spat. Rainbow swooped down to meet the demon pony face to face; “You don’t tell me what to do.” Rainbow Dash raged. Gigavolt pushed the pegasus out of her face, dood. “Right, that’s Twilight’s job to order you and your friends around; say Twilight, tell Rainbow to stop destroying my clouds.” Gigavolt said; Rainbow’s face went red with anger, dood. “Rainbow, please wait. I know Gigavolt is being a jerk at the moment, but she is having a rather stressful week, give her some time to reorganize herself; and I’m sure she’ll be nice again.” Twilight said; Rainbow cooled off a little but was still glaring daggers at Gigavolt, which brings the question: “Has Gigavolt ever been nice?” I asked. Gigavolt looked to me and said, “I might have been nice before my original death, but that was over eight hundred years ago.” Gigavolt said, she then had a horrible grin on her face as she turned to Rainbow Dash. “Glad to see that you are loyal to your master, mutt.” That did it, as Rainbow gave Gigavolt a hoof sandwich to go, dood, as Gigavolt hit the ground, the demon pony got up and rubbed the spot where Rainbow hit her, “You wish to play like that, then we shall play, mutt.” Gigavolt said, as her horn started to charge up electricity, the energy was making us back away from her has she sent a lightning bolt towards Rainbow Dash, the bolt hit her left wing at a joint, forcing her to the ground, the cyan mare looked to her left wing and tried to move it; only to see it limp at her side, looking useless, dood. “Enjoy your time on the ground, mongrel.” Gigavolt said, walking back into her home and slamming the door shut. Rainbow walked with us back to the library, as Pinkie asked Twilight what Gigavolt’s house was like. “It’s very different from us, she had a very big black screen on one side on the room, a very silver looking kitchen, like everything had a reflective surface; she also had a two rather normal couches and a beanbag chair sitting a few feet away from the screen, with some weird devices connected to a slightly larger machine that was connected to the screen, it looked like a black binder with SS3 on it, I have no idea what it was for.” Twilight said; I started to cry, dood. “She has a Slaystation 3 in her house? That’s cruel to show it off like that when there are prinnies can know how to use it, that could need to burn off some steam playing on it, dood.” I say, with as much charisma as I can put in it. Twilight and Pinkie look at each other weirdly before saying, “What do you mean, play on it? That thing looked too small and too fragile to play on it.” I shake my head, these ponies I tell ya, dood. “No, you know that weird black thing me and the other prinnies play on when we aren’t helping you girls out?” Twilight nods but only confuses the other girls, “it’s like that but bigger, and better, dood. Did you see any games she might have on it?” I asked; Twilight shook her head as Rainbow Dash and Pinkie but in and looks at me, interrogation style, dood. “What do you mean by games? Like fun games?” Pinkie asked. I kinda try to escape only for Rainbow to block me off with her one good wing, dood. “Well, yea; they are fun, but some of them are for like one player while there are others for like 2 or 4 players, besides, I don’t think there controllers would suit ponies.” I said; Pinkie and Rainbow Dash look sad when I said this, dood. “Controllers? You mean those small boxes with those two sticks coming out of it and 6 or 8 buttons on it? That looks like it can be used by ponies.” Twilight said; good god, Gigavolt worked it to play any game she wanted on a bloody arcade stick? Dood, that’s impressive; I can see her playing Hyperdimension Neptunia MK.2 with a reworked Arcade Stick, man I wish I was in her good graces to play on her Slaystation, dood. The rest of the day was rather uneventful, as Rainbow Dash and Pinkie went to Sugarcube Corner, while the other prinnies came to the library to go to sleep; I had to break the news, dood. “Gigavolt has a SlayStation 3 in her house? She is the only pony with power and she has that just lying around her place, dood?” Chocolate said; the others were all shocked by this news. “We need to find a way to get in on that action, dood.” Says Mr. K; with a group nod from the rest of the prinnie. “She kind of sticks to herself, are we even sure she has multi-player games, dood?” Master Cupcake asked, we all stop and look at each other, unsure if we can answer that. “I don’t know, we can go ask her tomorrow, dood.” Mr. K said; we sorta cringe since this is the same pony that wanted us dead like a few months ago. “I don’t think she likes anyone, I don’t think there is a pony she trusts any further then she can throw them.” I say, we continue our discussion till we go to bed at long last, I don’t know about the others but I was dreaming of kicking ass on Slaystation playing Borderlands. The next day, we nearly shit ourselves, dood; Gigavolt wanted to see if the Village of the Blanks existed. “With all the crappy short stories and games about them, I want to see if they are feared as the weakling ‘bronies’ portray them as.” Gigavolt exclaimed, dood. She was packed lightly; Twilight was joined behind her, with the rest of us prinnies, dood. “Can you tell me about the Village of the Blanks? I don’t think I’ve heard of them.” Twilight asked, dood. We were all shaking, as Gigavolt looked to us and grinned. “According to all the ‘myths’. It is a village of cannibalistic ponies that see cutie marks as a sign of great evil, and murder whatever pony has them, to ponies without a cutie mark and unaware of their secret, they appear to be average citizens in a friendly community. To those that are aware or have a cutie mark, they appear to be zombified creatures that have very few similarities to what they once were. No pony knows how they became corrupt, but some believe that it started from the murder of a filly named Ruby. But I want proof, and since I am arguably the strongest around, it only makes sense to find this out personally.” Gigavolt claimed, turning her head to face the entrance to Everfree Forest, dood. “Oh, so we’re going to try and communicate with evil ponies? That’ll be interesting.” Twilight said; she looked visibly shaken. Gigavolt nodded and headed in, we all scramble and follow her, dood. “So what do you plan on doing when we find this village, dood?” Asked Master Cupcake, we all turn to Gigavolt for an answer. “I want a sample of whatever ails them, maybe I can weaponize it for later use or sell it; if they prove ‘pushy’ I’ll wipe them off the face of Equestria.” She said, looking like she wants Plan A to fail so that she can go ahead with Plan B, dood. Twilight gave the demon pony a confused stare, “what samples?” she asked, dood. “Their blood, flesh; maybe the dirt their crappy village is sitting on; on a side note, alert me if you find Ruby’s remains, even a single bone, might prove useful for what I have planned,” she answered, we all shuddered to think. “How did you lose to us?” Twilight answered, looking scared and confused at the same time, dood. “Valvatorez’s rules, the fact that this world makes me more peaceful than I should be; maybe it’s because my demonic power isn’t effective against the Elements of Harmony.” Gigavolt answered again, dood. We continue our trip through the forest, Gigavolt making short work of anything that approached us, dood; manticores, bears, and timberwolves apparently don’t like getting hit by electricity generated from a pony that looks like she’ll turn into Nightmare Moon if you so much as kick dirt onto her hooves, dood. We noticed that the forest was getting darker, and some of it was turning blue, a few of us prinnies turn to Gigavolt to see her smile growing wider. “We are getting closer.” We all stop at seeing a pony ahead of us, looked rather sick-looking, dood. “Go back...” He said. Gigavolt trotted up to him and snapped his neck, dood. We all jaw dropped when we saw that. Gigavolt smirked, moving past the body, we all try to, only to see it getting back up. Gigavolt turned and reduced it to ashes with a lightning bolt, dood. “Pitiful.” Gigavolt uttered, still moving forward. We look at the ashes with some grimace before rushing to Gigavolt’s side, dood. “Here we are.” She exclaimed, dood. We see a ruined village before us, it looked like shit, but there were a lot of ponies who didn’t like us. “Why are you here?” they asked us, Gigavolt walked forward calmly and said “We are here to gather information about you, and your curse; attack us, and I will eradicate you.” The ponies didn’t seem too threatened, as they started to move closer, dood. One pony that was stupid fast ran up to bite Gigavolt, only to get head-butted by the thunder pony; working on her nerves, dood. “I think we should leave, dood.” Mr. K said, now looking for an exit, we are now surrounded by zombie ponies, dood. Even Twilight looked scared, but she tried to hide it, dood. “Please, we are only here to help you.” She tried to reason. Gigavolt stifled a laugh. “You may want to help them, but I don’t care if they end up going to Hades or Tartarus later, interfering with me will only send them there quicker.” She replied, looking to Chocolate, dood. “Golden Shower, your bat if you will.” She said, her hoof stretched out, waiting for something. “My name is Chocolate now, dood.” He said, trying to maintain some dignity, dood. “To me, you will always be Golden Shower, you walking urinal.” She fucking scared him, so bad dood. He handed her the bat and she got into the stance. “Allow me to show you all the power of a level two-thousand four hundred and sixty-sevem demon pony.” She yelled, nailing a creepy pony so hard, he literally flew to the moon; we assumed he is now dead-dead, dood. The other ponies didn’t like that and started to jump Gigavolt, ignoring the rest of us. “Help Gigavolt.” Twilight ordered us. We didn’t want to, but we couldn’t resist a command from the future overlord, so we went in our pouches and charged the group attacked Gigavolt, some of them were ripping at Gigavolt’s flesh, one even succeeded in biting off some flesh. Gigavolt hissed in pain as she shocked all the ponies away from her, dood. I, Chocolate, and Master Cupcake were literally sending these freaks flying with our attacks; Mr. K wasn’t even scratching them, dood. Twilight levitated several of the evil ponies away from us, not doing a damn thing to kill them, but we can’t really expect her to kill anything at this time, dood. “You wish to play like this, very well.” Gigavolt, walked over to us. “I suggest you all leave the area, immediately.” she said, turning back to the attackers, dood. We didn’t need to be told twice, we ran like hell; ponies that were jumping us, were either thrown away like a bad joke by Lady Sparkle, or were sliced in two by one of us, dood. Then we heard something, dood; “Thunder Festival”, it sounded like Gigavolt but we didn’t fucking care, dood. We kept running, until we noticed that it was day again, so quickly, dood. We turn around to see a huge ass wall of electricity surrounding the town, and then it went dark, along with a very, very loud explosion, dood; this sent us flying out of Everfree Forest, we all somehow managed to not explode from the force, which is cool by me, dood. We waited a few minutes to see Gigavolt walking out, slightly battered from the ordeal, a small filly skull sorta coming out of her left saddle bag, and sound of flasks in the right. “It appears that my plan was a success, the village of the blanks was destroyed and I now have the materials needed to see how it was caused.” She said with a smirk, she walked home with an eerie spring in her step. Twilight turns to us and says “She destroyed an entire town of evil zombie ponies. How did six mares and five prinnies beat her twice?” Twilight asked us, we shrugged, dood. Next Episode! Fusion Fool: The world is corrupt, and the streets are in ruins, dood. Twilight Sparkle: Not another one of these. Fusion Fool: Chaser, Applejack Cayman will have to ally herself with her greatest rival, dood. Applejack: Beg yur pardon? Fusion Fool: The Purple Princess (You can't impress), the Duchess of Love and Tolerance, dood. Twilight Sparkle: My brain hurts. Fusion Fool: That's right, Pimplight Sparkle will have to give somepony a taste of her pimpslap, dood. Twilight Sparkle: I can't think anymore, I think you robbed me of it. Pinkie Pie: Pimplight Sparkle? Isn't Rainbow Dash more suited since she is the most shipped out of all of us? Gigavolt: Hold up, you were the little fucks that downloaded Anarchy Reigns onto my computer. Fusion Fool: Next Episode, "Super Sexy Fists of Fire, the Applebuckening." Kill all the mutants, and rack up the points, dood. Ruby: I can't wait. ~dood~[/hr] If this story is somehow popular, I want to ask you guys not to comment in the Anarchy Reigns video that you were brought here by ponies, the fandom has enough haters, and I don't like the idea of being the direct cause of adding more, thank you, dood. Let's hope that I make some progress, dood.
Gem-Fusions and Kamikaze, dood.Hey everybrony, I FINALLY updated this shit. Go me, dood! please don't flame me bro. (I'm going to wash my mouth out for saying 'everybrony' now, dood.) ~dood~[/hr] Me and the other prinnies were forced into being Rainbow Dash’s pit crew, dood; set up with towels, water bottles, and a stool, dood. All because we were caught sneaking into Gigavolt’s place to play on her video game console, in which she threatened to throw us into Ghastly Gorge if we talk about the tech she had in her home, dood. Our job is simple, dood. I give Rainbow Dash the water bottle, Super Pal wipes her head of sweat, Mr. K sets up the stool, and finally Master Cupcake and Chocolate rubs her muscles and makes sure she is ready to fly again, dood. It was torture since Rainbow Dash expects us to be where she lands before she lands, dood. “You guys are so slow; you need to step it up to keep up with me.” Rainbow Dash yelled at us, cause it was clearly our fault that our peg legs are just as fast as pegasus wings, dood. “A prinny must never make their master wait.” Gigavolt said from a distance; she just gave us a mean stare then walked away. Super Pal stuck his tongue out at her only to be struck with lightning, dood. That scared us a little. Rainbow Dash told us she was finished with stunts and went to have a nap, freeing us from her tyranny; we walked by to the library when we noticed something that wasn’t supposed to be there, dood. We saw a grey Diamond Dog talking to Gigavolt behind her house; he was wearing a big ass brown vest that went from his mid-section to his nose, all done up; he was also wearing a brown Stetson hat and a pair of goggles. Gigavolt was handing him something in a chest, the two nodded and walked away, dood. We booked it to Twilight’s library home where we believed something was ahoof, dood. We found Twilight juggling stars, another spell she found from that book. “The pony who wrote this book should receive awards for the knowledge in this book. It teaches you how to bend stars to your will for Celestia’s sake.” Twilight comments making the stars disappear before giving us our time to explain. “We saw Gigavolt making deals behind her house with a shady Diamond Dog; I bet she is up to trying to dope up the place with illegal drugs or illegal candies, dood.” Super Pal said. We all looked at him, wondering how stupid can he get, dood, well me and the prinnies did, Twilight gave him the standard ‘Pinkie, stop being so Pinkie all the time’ look, dood. “Drugs exist in Equestria, dood; right?” he asked, Twilight still gave him that same blank stare, dood. “You mean medicine like Painkillers and Cough Syrup?” Twilight asked, all of us except Super Pal knew this would happen, dood. “No like Weed, Meth, Cocaine; the stuff that makes you see pink elephants, or makes you trip something awful when you eat mushrooms, dood.” Super Pal continued, Twilight face hoofed, we followed her action, dood. “Dood, Equestria is a place of happiness; they don’t need that stuff to feel even happier.” Chocolate said, getting ready to hit Super Pal, dood. “That might be why Equestria is happy, Celestia might be smoking some in her study, dood.” Super Pal said, and then he got cracked with a baseball bat, courtesy of Chocolate, dood. As Chocolate dragged Super Pal away, Pinkie Pie burst in through the door. “Twilight! There was a sneaky Diamond dog walking away from Ponyville, he was just talking to Gigavolt and she gave him something. You think Gigavolt is giving him some super special cupcakes that she made in that super-secret basement of her?” Pinkie Pie said, Twilight metaphorically sprang into action, dood. “We should ask Gigavolt about that then, especially if this Diamond Dog is up to no good.” Twilight said, Mr. K got peeved, dood. “Oh sure, we go to warn the pony that does all the saving in Equestria and she tells us ‘Bitch, please’ then her friend says the same thing and then she goes ‘shit is about to get down, dood; we have a badass to deal with’. That is typical.” Mr. Kamikaze said, Twilight shot him a glare. “I recall you guys giving me reason to not trust you in the past, like trying to keep Gigavolt a secret, keeping your true identity a secret, and breaking into Gigavolt’s house,” Twilight said. We all flinched and forgot what Mr. K said, dood. We all followed Twilight and Pinkie to Gigavolt’s house. “What are you idiots talking about?” Gigavolt asked us. She looked annoyed that we are bothering her, dood. “The Prinnies and Pinkie said that they saw you doing something weird with a Diamond Dog behind your house.” Twilight said, dood. “The Prinnies are scumbags and Pinkie is clinically insane; what’s your point?” Gigavolt said, we felt that hit home, dood. “The Prinnies have been working hard to redeem themselves and Pinkie is my friend, all I need to know is if this Diamond Dog will be any trouble to Ponyville.” Twilight explained, Gigavolt gave her a deadpanned look. “I assure you, what you saw, didn’t happen. Now beat it.” Gigavolt snarled, walking back into her home before Twilight stopped her again by calling her name, causing the green demon to glare at Twilight, dood. “Do you happen to know when the library’s projector will be fixed and ready? Cheerilee was asking because her class will be using it next week.” Twilight asked sheepishly, dood. “It’s nearly done, come and pick it up around noon tomorrow.” Gigavolt replied, shutting the door behind her, I swear dood, that pony is a walking mood swing. “Hey Twilight, dood” I asked her. “Yea, Fusion Fool?” She turned to me, dood. “Why didn’t you defend Pinkie’s sanity when Gigavolt said she was insane, dood.” I said; Pinkie was happily ignorant of our conversation, dood. “Because it’s hard to say she isn’t crazy with a straight face.” Twilight replied, Pinkie caught that one and jumped to Twilight’s side, dood. “Then say I’m a normal pony with a big smile, Twilight.” She said, hopping away back to whatever chocolate covered sundae dungeon that she could and probably will make, dood. We returned to the library to find that Spike has returned from helping Rarity, dood. “Hey guys, have you seen that weird Diamond Dog walking away from Ponyville, he was holding a box of something; knowing those guys, that crate has a lot of gems in.” Spike said, we prinnies gather in the basement as Twilight went back to reading, dood. “We must get to the bottom of this deal, any deals with a demon need investigation, dood.” I say, with four sets of cheers coming from my comrades, dood. “A Diamond Dog coming to Ponyville to make a deal for gems? Outragous, dood.” Master Cupcake said, he slammed a flipper down on the makeshift table of books, dood. “Maybe we can catch her doing something bad and get her banished to the moon, dood!” Mr. K said, raising a flipper, dood. “Get her banished to a prison that was banished so she’d have a place to stay at the location of where she would have been banished… Ingenious, dood.” Super Pal said; all happy and stuff, dood. “Don’t you mean, ‘banish her and then throw her in a dungeon in the place that she banishes you to, dood?” Master Cupcake inquired; Super Pal nodded. “We have no choice but to bust this deal and save Equestria from a potential threat of druggies and Gigavolt, dood!” Chocolate cried. We all pump our flippers in the air now that we have what some sort of plan to beat Gigavolt, dood. We camped outside of Gigavolt’s house, waiting for the cave mutt to appear, only to find that Gigavolt is instead leaving her place, wearing saddlebags, dood. With silent steps, we follow her. We follow her to Ghastly Gorge where that diamond dog guy was there, the guy seemed pretty intimidating, but this time he was wearing large steel gauntlets over his arm-paws (no idea, dood). “I must admit, Miss; these gauntlets do wonders for digging.” The shmuck said, dood; admiring the gauntlets on his hands(?). “I don’t make things to be useless, Bonez. Now did you get those gems for me?” Gigavolt asked, her glare was actually less ‘glaring’ than usual. The Diamond Dog named Bonez opened up a chest he was holding and showed Gigavolt a small black orb, we couldn’t see the gem itself from our point of view but we saw Gigavolt give a nod of approval, dood. “Just as you asked, a Galactic Eye” Bonez commented; and on a side note, this guy sounds like Iron Tager from Blazblue, I shit you never, dood. “Excellent, and the others?” The demon pony asked; the Diamond Dog nodded and opened the chest again to reveal a very bright crystal, Gigavolt hissed as she levitated a pair of sunglasses to protect her vision, dood. “Celestia’s Heart; several different gems, one of Celestia’s feathers, and a fragment of the sun. You must tell me how you managed to get that fragment.” Bonez asked; Gigavolt shook her head, dood. “A secret is a secret for a reason; isn’t that right, Prinnies?” Gigavolt called out, looking at us, dood. We all flinched at this and piled out of the bush we were hiding in. “We’re telling that you stole some of Celestia’s sun, Gigavolt.” Mr. K said; if Gigavolt was scared she hid it VERY well behind a deadpanned look. “That might be bad; no one has ever tried to pick something from the sun.” Bonez said, backing away from us. Gigavolt shook her head. “The amount I took was barely enough to keep Ponyville in the light for a day, Celestia won’t miss it.” Gigavolt said, she levitated the gems and placed them in a container in her saddlebags, dood. “This kinda looks bad on us, since we didn’t prove that they were drug dealing though, dood.” Super Pal said, we felt Bonez giving us a confused look (I couldn’t tell, damn goggles, dood.) while Gigavolt facehoofed. “Why would anyone set up drugs in Equestria? That is just asking for trouble.” Gigavolt said, walking away, dood. Mr. K ran up to Gigavolt and kicked her in the flank, the rest of us backed up in hopes that we would avoid the destruction, dood. “I always wanted to do that, dood. And the best part is, you can’t hurt us because we are property of Twilight Sparkle, dood.” Mr. K said, he clearly forgot the ass kicking we all received a few days ago. “Mr. Kamikaze, You will be returning to Hades, NOW!” Gigavolt screamed, she levitated the poor prinny and threw him into the gorge behind her. We heard a lot of snapping of those eel things and then a loud explosion. Gigavolt looked over the cliff edge and smirked. “Well, go me; I actually killed one of those eels with that blast.” She turned to us, and we ran for the hills, hoping not to suffer the same fate as Mr. K, dood. We reached the library, as Twilight and Spike we organizing it, dood. “Where were we guys, you should have been helping us with Library Organization Day.” Twilight scolded, we look up to her with tears in our eyes, dood. “I’m sorry, what happened?” “We were tailing Gigavolt *sniff* because we thought she was going to attack Equestria, dood. But we found out she wasn’t *sniff* and now, she killed Mr. K, dood.” I whined, the remainder of us mourned for the poor idiot, dood. “Gigavolt… killed Mr. Kamikaze?” Twilight said in horror, she immediately dropped her books and rushed her flank to Gigavolt’s place, we all stayed behind, but we heard a very clear “CONTROL YOUR GOD DAMN SERVANTS” from Gigavolt from across town, dood. Twilight returned with a sad look on her face. “I must admit, I am rather disappointed in you guys for bothering Gigavolt over something like a gem trade with the Diamond Dogs, but I can’t believe she would kill someone over something so petty.” Twilight said, tears forming in her violet eyes. Chocolate goes over to pat on her on the side, dood. “Good news is, Mr. Kamikaze is just back in Hades, since prinnies can’t exactly die, dood. He just won’t be able to get back into Equestria again without extreme support from Lord Valvatorez or the Dimension Guide.” Chocolate explained, Twilight did calm down a little but losing such a forgettable character can be devastating for a paragraph or two, dood. “Spike, I’m going to go to bed early tonight; can you and the prinnies finish this up please?” Twilight asked, moving up the stairs. We start picking up books and help Spike finish organizing the library, dood. “How did he go, anyways?” Spike asked us. We look to each other and let out a sigh, dood. “He was thrown into Ghastly Gorge and was eaten by one of the Quarray Eels; since he was thrown, his explosion took out one of them, according to Gigavolt, dood..” Super Pal said, looking crestfallen, dood. “Harsh.” Was all that Spike said, as we finish up and gets to bed, dood. Twilight brought us along to let everypony that mattered know that Mr. K is gone, dood. We start with Rarity, as we see her doing business with… The hell was Bonez doing here, dood? “Twilight Darling, have you met Bonez? He is a gem trader from those awful Diamond Dogs that abducted me; despite how horrid is attire is, the gems he sells are in such excellent condition, and quiet the gentleman. Shame he’s a Diamond Dog, though.” Rarity went on, Bonez tried to keep his stotic face from turning into a frown from being insulted, dood. “Hey, weren’t you giving a weird black orb and a gem that contained a fraction of Celestia’s sun to Gigavolt yesterday, dood?” I asked him, he merely nodded as Twilight and Rarity’s lower jaws were in danger of hitting the ground. “According to Gigavolt, it would be rather tedious to aquire another sample of the princess’ sun, but she did acquire enough moon rock for me to make Moon Tears for buyers that are interested.” He said, fixing his goggles over his eyes, dood. “How much is it to commission a Moon Tear?” Rarity asked, dood. “Roughly 20 bits, since I need to combine gems and other ingredients together to make them; Gigavolt only gets her gems for free due to that fancy device she gave me, I believe it was called Crucible. Claimed she acquired it from an old man that had too many of them to begin with.” Bonez said, rubbing his chin. “Of course, if you get the materials for me, the price will be 5 bits. Cost for cutting the gem and combining them of course.” He continued, Rarity nodded but seemed adamant to get them special gems, dood. “I’ll pay for 3 Moon tears, when you have them made, of course.” Rarity said, in her lady-like fashion. Bonez nodded and turned to leave Ponyville, not before being stopped by a filly who asked him what he was, and a scared mother dragging the child away, dood. “Diamond Dogs are rather messy and intimidating, but it’s good to see I can do business with at least one of them, so what brings you here dear?” Rarity asked, Twilight looked to the ground for answers, dood. “Yesterday, Mr. Kamikaze died; Gigavolt killed him for attacking her.” Twilight said, Rarity gasped, and fainted on her fainting couch, dood. “Oh how could this happen? Are his little friends doing okay?” Rarity asked, the two ponies turn to us, we are just chillin there, Super Pal trying to pick his nose with his flipper. “Your friend died yesterday and you guys simply stopped caring about him?” Twilight scolded. “Kamikaze was an idiot, dood. Besides, he is probably in the Netherworld doing prinny tasks and what not.” Chocolate said, we all shrug in confirmation, dood. “So demons don’t care if someone close to them dies?” Twilight asked, dood. “I heard Overlord Laharl laughed when he found out his dad died, dood.” I said, We all nodded, but Rarity and Twilight look mortified by this. “How could demons be so insincere?” Rarity asked; we all shrug again,d ood. “Demons are supposed to be the bad guys, that’s probably why, dood.” Super Pal said. We all confirm that with a head nod, dood. Twilight didn’t like this info at all. “I’ll see you later Rarity, we gotta go let the other girls know about this.” Twilight said, dood. Rarity nodded and gave us the most elegant stink eye I have ever seen, dood. We ran into Rainbow Dash and Applejack in town, the latter selling apples. They both waved at Twilight as we approached them. “Hey Twilight, why so glum?” Applejack asked, Twilight explained it to the two and they were stunned. “How could Gigavolt do such a thing to these critters? It was uncalled for.” Applejack said, Rainbow Dash was trying to fly and punch Gigavolt in the face but Twilight’s magic kept her in place by her tail, dood. “The Prinnies say that Mr. K is back in Hades doing prinny tasks. The reason why they don’t care about the death of a friend.” Twilight continued; Rainbow Dash and Applejack gave us a confused look, dood. “It’s true, dood. It sort of happens all the time in the netherworld.” Master Cupcake says, all three ponies were rather scared of the netherworld now. “I remember ripping a shirt off a Magic Knight; she beat me into the dirt with the moon, dood.” Super Pal said, the three ponies chuckled nervously dood. “You mean with like a fake moon right? For a play?” Twilight asked, still nervously chuckling, dood. “No dood, she jumped all the way to the moon, grabbed it, piledrived it into me, then beat me over the head with it until I died, dood.” Super Pal said, the ponies stopped chuckling and look scared. “There was that one time I made fun of an archer because those chicks make cutting boards look buxom, so she jumped all the way to Pluto and shot an arrow that destroyed 6 planets and made the sun go supernova, dood. That hurt like hell, dood.” I said, it was totally true, but the ponies were not believing it though, dood. “An arrow? Destroyed 6 planets and made the sun go super nova? If you are going to lie, make a good one at least.” Twilight said, and then Applejack looked a bit freaked out. “Ah don’t think they’re lying, Twi.” She said, giving us a worried look. We continue to talk about different ways me and my fellow prinnies kicked the bucket so many times while the ponies looked at us in fear and worry; as Fluttershy and Pinkie come by to talk to us, dood. “We heard from Rarity! Are you guys super positive that Mr. Kamikrazy is okiedokie in the netherworld?” Pinkie asked, dood. We all nodded. “Must be so sad to watch your friend die, I’m so sorry.” Fluttershy said, she squeaked in the end, making Kamikaze’s death actually beneficial to those of us that survived, dood. “Nah, we have been through worse, dood. We were just telling the others that time we were uppercut-mmph” Chocolate was interrupted by Twilight’s magic muzzling him, dood. “They don’t need to hear about all 4762 deaths you went through, guys.” Twilight said, Pinkie and Fluttershy gasped while we let out a collective ‘aww, dood’. We all went back to Ponyville as Pinkie threw a ‘Sorry that Gigavolt killed you, Mr. Kamikaze, dood’ party in the deceased’s honour. Where Pinkie pulled out a new game for us prinnies, ‘Pin the Tail on the Fenrich’ I don’t know how she found out about Master Fenrich, but we played that game all day, purposely trying to pin that jerk’s tail on his nose, dood. ~dood~[/hr] Next Episode! Fusion Fool: After losing her right hoof to banditos, Twilight must now be a badass hero, dood. Twilight: I don't think I can do 'Badass'. Rainbow Dash: Yeah, might as well make it about me. Fusion Fool: Thanks to Pinkie Pie, Twilight has a new hoof, Celestia's Hoof, dood. Celestia: I am not sure if Twilight can handle the power in my hoof. Twilight: Why do I have the Princess' Hoof? Fusion Fool: Now faced with the demons that want that same hoof; her half-sister Trixie that has Luna's Hoof. Twilight and Pinkie Pie must now beat the crap out of all the jerks that want Celestia's Hoof and doing it all while cracking jokes and looking cool doing it, dood. Trixie: Trixie doesn't need some cheap gimmick to defeat Twilight Sparkle. All da Prinnies & Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity: Yeah... you do, dood. Fusion Fool: Next Episode: Celestia's Hoof; La Bombs and Dragon kicks to all the creeps, and a spanking to all the hos, dood. Mr. Kamikaze: Why did you kill me off, dood? ~dood~[/hr] So, I learned that I rushed the ending because I don't want to repeat the same scene to 5 different ponies, and I shot myself in the pegleg for making a new OC (Bonez the Gem-cutting Diamond Dog; what Diamond Dog OC can you name off the top of your head?) I was actually fascinated with the idea of a non-pony OC, so Bonez is now around, he'll be only on this chapter, dood. In other news... Wow, I sound like a dick in the first paragraph of that, dood. I'm sorry, people that took the time to read my stories. Slight Edit: Borderlands 2 will be taking up a lot of my time forever (I said this about Diablo 3 until the hype died a month later though, dood.)
So, About That Book, Dood...So for all the people that got wierd Blog notices that were weird and stupid...I"M SO SORRY, DOOD! I feel like I cheated you all with mini-updates and such so HERE IS THE NEXT CHAPTER THAT I FINALLY DID,DOOD Sorry if it's bad, dood. ~dood~[/hr] I wasn’t there but Master Cupcake had an accident in Sugarcube Corner, dood. He was baked into a cake by accident, dood. Pinkie was searching for him for a few hours before we found him inside the comically large cake that we had for Applejack’s birthday party, dood. We know he was in there because Super Pal tripped and the cake fell and it exploded, dood. Anyways, Twilight was reading the book from chapter eight and other brief mentions, while the rest of us were doing house work…scratch that, Spike was taking a nap while the prinnies did his chores, dood. I take a glance outside to see Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash having a prank war, the main square of Ponyville was a war zone of water balloons, pies, inks, and the random kitchen sink. I also noticed Gigavolt wheeling the Library projector back to us (she is about several months late than she said, dood); dodging everything the pranksters are throwing at her or at each other. When she was forced to stop, she sent at least three pies and 7 water balloons back to sender with her magic, and knocked on the door. “I got it, dood.” Said Super Pal, as he ran for the door and opened it to see Gigavolt and the machine come in. “Hey Gigavolt; done with the projector?” Twilight asked, not even sparing a glance at the demon-pony, dood. “Yes, things came up and I had to post pone it for a bit.” Gigavolt simply stated, to put it in the corner of the main room. She turned to see Twilight still reading, blissfully aware that she was barely acknowledged, dood. “Must be a good book if you choose to ignore your guest like a smug noble.” Twilight snapped up to see Gigavolt and quick glances around the room to see all of us (minus Spike) looking at her in confusion, dood. “Sorry, but this book is more than just a book, it’s an ancient spellbook, I bet it used to belong to one of the Princesses or maybe a relative of theirs, like a parent or somepony.” She continued, dood. Gigavolt shook her head before Twilight let her take hold of the book with her electro-telekinesis, Gigavolt’s eyes went wide when she saw the title and started to flip through it like… Twilight would if she was on speed and REALLY needed to read a book, dood (I dunno) “The Badass Guide to Magic and Making Other’s Feel Weak by Overlord Zetta” Gigavolt said, swallowing a breath, dood. “Who is Zetta?” Twilight asked, dood. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie seemed to stop their prank war long enough to walk in to see Gigavolt look scared. Gigavolt closed the book and placed it on the table. “Overlord Zetta, otherwise known as ‘The Most Badass Freaking Overlord’ is one of the mightiest demons that will ever exist, and one of the very few with a near inexhaustible mana supply. He is stubborn and thick skull-ed however and it lead to the destruction of his Netherworld and his body. He spent years within a book, with the assistance of his fellow Overlords, he obtained a new Netherworld. Even when he was a book, he was still arguably one of the most powerful demons in existence.” The whole room was in awe of what Gigavolt said, but Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were a tad confused by the explanation. “He’s the male demon version of Rainbow Dash with more magical power then Celestia, Luna, and Discord combined, and about as short fused as Gilda.” That explanation got Rainbow and Pinkie’s jaws to hit the ground, dood. “If he has so much power, why would he place so many of his best spells in this book?” Twilight asked, Gigavolt rubbed her chin in confusion. “An Overlord with more power than the Princesses and Discord combined and he acts like me? That is so awesome, I bet meeting him would be the coolest.” Rainbow Dash cheered. Gigavolt shook her head. “Zetta only cares about power and his title of Badass Overlord. But I have heard that he and a human sorceress named Salome having a child. Maybe that book was made to help the kid learn some starter spells; I even saw the Zetta Beam in there.” Gigavolt exclaimed, before becoming paranoid. “This could be very bad. If the book is here, than that means that Zetta or the kid might have dropped it here, and eventually they’ll have to go and find it. Shit, this is could be bad.” Gigavolt started to pace about the library, dood. “What’s so bad about this ‘Zetta’ person anyways?” Pinkie said. “I heard he destroyed an entire Netherworld once because they spilled coffee on his lap, dood.” Super Pal said, really super-scared, dood. “Then, we’ll ask him to put a towel on his lap if he visits. I’ll throw the biggest and bestest party that would show him that we ponies are cool, and then when he has fun with us, the party will upgrade to a bad-ass party.” Pinkie sheered, happy at the thought of meeting a new face. “I think Overlord Zetta would rather destroy Equestria with a single Zetta Beam than party with us, dood.” I said, because I am trying to not shit bricks over here, dood. “My thoughts exactly, if Zetta has any minimal statistics, it’s his patience. He would rather kill first and then problem solve, and he would rather test his power against others that he has deemed worthy, and destroy whatever he has deemed too weak, like nearly every Overlord in existence. In comparison to a netherworld, Equestria is the definition of weak.” Gigavolt explained, the colour draining from everyone’s face. “And if his kid is anything like him, we are going to be caught in the apocalypse of ponydom.” “What if we return the book and say we’re sorry?” Twilight asked, dood. Gigavolt grimaced, “Only a small handful of demons accept ‘sorry’ and Zetta is more likely take the book after nuking Ponyville than accepting your apology.” She stopped to let us absorb the information; times like this, I wish I had a rectum, to shit bricks out of when I’m scared, dood. “What a jerk.” Rainbow Dash yelled, dood, “Why would anyone do that?” “Demons do that for fun, Rainbow Dash. The only reason I can say I didn’t decide to ruin Ponyville is because I dislike messes, and every Pony-Demon I have ever met have struggled to do either good or evil unless we are really drunk or really pissed off, I am no exception.” Gigavolt continued to explain, dood. “What if we gave him a taste of his own medicine?” Twilight said, Gigavolt arched a brow, while the rest of us are trying to understand what Twilight, a pony that is commonly against violence, would try to take on an Overlord, dood. “I have memorized every spell in this book, would that mean I have the powers of an Overlord?” Twilight asked, all of us (except Gigavolt) started to smile. “I’m not sure, but I doubt you can cast any of those spells.” Gigavolt said, Twilight thought for a moment before leaving the library, the rest of us kinda glance at each other before following her, dood. Twilight looked to the mountain range far in the distance. “Twilight Beam!” she said, as lasers came out her eyes and removed the mountain peak; scaring everypony that saw it, dood. “You’ll impress him, but that blast didn’t have enough kick, if it were to disintegrate the entire mountain, then we may have a chance.” Gigavolt said; she took a look at her watch. “I have a few projects I need to tend to now, excuse me.” Gigavolt said, walking away, Rainbow and Pinkie left as well, while Twilight was deep in thought, she ran back into the tree house and studied Zetta’s Book like it had the cure to every disease on the planet and the recipe to the best chocolate chip cookies you could find, dood. ~dood~[/hr] It has been a week since Gigavolt told us about Zetta and she has been in her repair shop since, only coming out to take apples, Twilight spent that same week with her nose buried in Zetta’s Book. Many of her friends came by to check up on her, we told them that Lady Sparkle was fine. They were still suspicious since we prinnies were just following Twilight’s orders, dood. Then Applejack had enough of our attempts of making her leave and she bucked us out of the way, dood. “Twilight! You get down here now, we need to talk.” The cowpony yelled, dood. Twilight teleported to the table behind Applejack, dood. “Yes, AJ?” “Sugarcube, you need to get outside. You have been in here for days.” Applejack reasoned, rather aggressively, dood. “Not yet, I need to prepare for what Zetta comes and tries to destroy Equestria.” Twilight said, dood. The orange mare gave her a confused look, dood. “Zetta-who? And why would he want to destroy Equestria?” “Cause he is a demon with a lot of power. If I can master the spells in his book, I might be able to repel him enough to keep him from destroying us all.” Twilight explained, only serving to confuse the apple-bucker even more, dood. “Yea…Let’s get you out of here, Sugarcube.” Applejack said, taking hold of a large chunk of Twilight’s tail and start dragging her outside, despite Twilight’s protests, we just followed her, dood. The girls were gathered at a picnic blanket when we approached, dood. The girls looked in disbelief as Applejack continued to dag Twilight to their gathering. “Someday, I knew we’d have to drag Twilight by the tail to get her here, didn’t think it was so soon though.” Rarity muttered as Twilight brushed herself off, glaring daggers at AJ, dood. “I was in the middle of trying to save Equestria from an Overlord.” Twilight retorted, weird to see Rainbow Dash shake a little, Pinkie was still sort of hopping, the rest kind of gave Twilight a weird look, dood. “Why would an Overlord want to hurt us?” Fluttershy asked, poking a cupcake with her hoof (that’s adorable, btw, dood) “Gigavolt said that Zetta would because he likes to show off his power or something like that.” Rainbow Dash said, Fluttershy squeaked in shock while the others continued their questionable stares, dood. “Gigavolt also said he was demon version of Rainbow Dash with more power than the Princesses and Discord combined.” Pinkie said, Applejack and Rarity gasped at the same time. Twilight nodded, dood. “I have learned every spell Zetta’s spellbook had but I still need to-“ “You’ve finished the book? Oh that’s good, father dropped it a long time ago and he feels it is time for me to finally learn his spells.” A voice interrupted Twilight, causing us all to turn to face a young girl (humanoid fyi) with two red pig-tails. She has white eyes, a…fuck it; here is her picture, dood. The girl bows to us and we just return the bow as a show of respect, dood. She gives us a cute smile and walks up to Twilight. “I presume that you have father’s book, may I please have it back? It took so very long to get father to agree to advance my training to become an Overlord and help him rule the Netherworlds.” The girl said, she gave our Lady a warm smile, dood. “Oh, I guess you can have it back, I did want to study it more to help protect Equestria.” Twilight said, and then something dawned on her. “That would make you Overlord Zetta’s child, wouldn’t it?” Fear caught her as she spoke those words, the rest of us backed away from the demon, dood. “Why yes, my name is Petta, my father is Overlord Zetta.” She said with a big smile, “So could I see my father’s book?” She asked, we all stared at the kind demon as Twilight ultimately gave up, dood. “Ok, come to the library, Miss Petta.” Twilight said; she and Petta started to walk to the library with us following them, dood. “Um, Miss Purple Pony? I’m sorry, I was never told your name, but why do you have prinny servants? This isn’t a Netherworld, is it?” Petta asked, dood. Twilight turned and gave her an unsure grin, “They kind of broke out of Hades to pledge their allegiance to me when they got here. They have been really helpful too. And my name is Twilight Sparkle.” We puff our chests in pride that Lady Sparkle praised us, dood. “Oh I see; I’m sure Mr. Valvatorez would like to hear that the prinnies are working hard here, even though it isn’t a Netherworld, he’s odd in that way.” Petta replied; Twilight gave her a brief nod as they continued to the library. ~dood~[/hr] We got to the Library with everypony staring at us, like it’s abnormal for Twilight to stroll to the library with the Badass Daughter and 2 prinnies following her, dood. Petta and Twilight spot the book on the table as Twilight levitated it to the girl. “Sorry for the trouble, it was a very fascinating read.” Twilight said, giving a weak smile, dood. “I do hope you didn’t hurt yourself trying to cast these spells. Many of them have cause brain damage and severe migraines to Skulls, Witches, and Magic Knights that all have tried to learn from this book.” Petta said, showing concern, dood. “The first few spells did give me a nasty head ache but after words, I was doing pretty well. My special talent is magic.” Twilight said, dood. She showed Petta her cutie mark in which the Overlord-in-Training gasped in awe. “My goodness, Miss Twilight. I am still trying to master my Petta Beam…I can only destroy an entire country with it right now, still not worthy enough for my father to be proud of me.” Petta said, looking downward in despair. “But if I can prove to my father that I can master his old spells, He’ll surely let me help him rule over the Netherworlds!” She said, pumping her fist in the air, Twilight looked like she was just shown that she is super weak, dood. “I tried what your father calls ‘Zetta Beam’ but I only managed to burn off the peak of the nearby mountain with my own version.” Twilight said, crestfallen that it’s nowhere near as powerful as Petta’s Beam, dood. “Oh but Miss Twilight, My Father’s Zetta Beam is extremely complicated, it’s a testemate to your skill that you learned such a spell as a mortal.” Petta praised, Twilight did look like she felt better from the vote of confidence, dood. “Fusion Fool, can you tell the girls we will be having a study party in the library if they want to join?” Lady Sparkle asked me, dood. “How nice, I never had a study-buddy before. Most people stay away from me because they fear my father.” Petta exclaimed, still happy that she has a friend to study her father’s spells with, dood. “Got it, dood!” I say, as I march out into the afternoon, dood. I get to the Picnic grounds to see the girls finishing up with Super Pal’s help, dood. “Twilight and Overlord Petta are having a Study Party, if you wanna attend, dood.” I call out, all of them giving me a awkward glance. Pinkie looked like she didn’t know what to do. “It’s a party, but Twilight and Miss-My-Daddy-Will-Destroy-Us-All will be reading one book the whole night, but it’s a party…I DON”T KNOW WHAT TO DO!” Pinkie cried, falling to the ground in tears, dood. “Pinkie’s confused, I gotta help her; see ya.” Rainbow Dash said, heaving Pinkie into her fore-limbs and flying off, dood. “You don’t have to come, Lady Sparkle just asked me to extend an invitation, dood.” I say; I still got awkward glances, dood. “I think I’ll go hit the hay, Tell your ‘Lady’ to remember to get out every once in a while.” Applejack told me, I gave her a salute, dood. “I must admit though, those garments that Petta was wearing were absolutely adorable, I wonder where she got those clothes.” Rarity said, probably thinking about Ponyfying Petta’s wardrobe, dood. “If it’s all the same to you, Fusion Fool; I need to get back to my animals, tell Twilight I’m sorry.” Fluttershy said, I merely nod, dood. Super Pal fidgeted a bit before speaking. “I’m going to give this a-” “You are property of Twilight Sparkle; move it to the Library before I kick you where the Succubi have been sticking things in during your wild nights.” I scolded like a boss, dood. Super Pal started to run to the library. I made my way there myself, but I had a gut feeling that something bad is going to happen, dood. ~dood~[/hr] I return to see Petta and Lady Sparkle laughing and giggling, testing various non-combat spells out in the middle of the room, Chocolate came in with three Hot Cocoas, I am assuming the jerk made a third for himself, dood. “Thank you Chocolate, now where were we?” Twilight asked, trying to find her spot in the book, dood. I walk into the kitchen to grab some cookies and a glass of milk (cause I’m allowed to do that here, bitches) and walk back in searching for the adventure book I was reading earlier…I forgot what it was called, heard it had a bad ending though, despite the awesome beginning and middle, dood. We did however hear a sonic boom coming from nowhere, causing me to jump, “Jesus Christ, dood!” I cry, dood. “Wait, Earth curses translated to Equestria curses in mind…if people say Sweet Celestia or Luna in place of God…would they say Twilight Sparkle or Mi Amore Cadenza in place of Jesus Christ?” Super Pal asked; Twilight gave us the weirdest looks from that. I just shrug. “Mi Amore Cadenza sounds like a mouthful, dood. And being a brony-prinny, I’m probably more inclined to say Twilight Sparkle if I would. But I think earth bronies use Luna’s name in vain in place of the prophet guy, dood.” We stopped being filler in this chapter long enough to exit the library to see a pissed off red headed guy…this means: Yeah…Overlord Zetta, dood. “I have come, little weaklings. If you return my daughter to me immediately, I’ll make sure you all die quickly.” He bellowed, scared the shit out of us, dood. We watched Rainbow Dash fly over to confront him, like a cocky mare that she is, dood. “Who do you think you are threatening my town?” She yelled, Zetta slapped her, and she was sent flying so fast, she made five sonic rainbooms before we lost visual of her, dood. “Anyone else think they can take me?” Zetta challenged, I took a gander around; it’s good to see that no pony decided that growing a pair was more important than life, dood. He looked down to see Petta and Twilight standing next to each other, Petta holding his book; he scowled and floated down, his energy creating a crater below him as he landed on what I think is ground level, walking towards Lady Sparkle and Petta. He readied a bolt of energy, but was forced to release it as a lightning bolt zapped him. He turned to see Gigavolt standing their defiantly. “You got guts, little one. Too bad you’re going to bee seeing it all over this pitiful village.” Zetta said, charging the Demon-pony, Gigavolt manged to barely dodge a strike, and counter with a shockwave and a teleport away from Ponyville. Twilight and Petta gave chase to make sure that Gigavolt was okay with fighting the badass overlord, only to find him beating her into the dirt. “You thought you were strong? What a laugh.” He said, he tossed Gigavolt into the air and used his Badass Overdrive Skill, where he like attacks super fast than punches her so hard a small black hole appears and sucks her in…and it implodes on her, dood. “Ow” Gigavolt barely said, spitting blood. “Still alive? Must be a pretty strong demon, but still far no match for me.” (Gigavolt is Level is 2409, Overlord Zetta is Level 5087, statistically, Gigavolt is hanging on by 4 HP) Gigavolt is struggling to get on her hooves, only to fall back down, Zetta charges another blast to dispose of the lesser demon. “Wait!” Twilight called out, Zetta stopped and turned his attention to Lady Sparkle, dood. “And you want to challenge me too? You stink of fear.” Zetta said, turning to confront Twilight, his steps making Twilight less and less sure of interrupting him as he approached, dood. “Father, this is my friend, Twilight Sparkle. We have been studying your book, and I hope that’s okay.” Petta said, hoping to do her father proud, dood. “A weakling like this? Reading from MY spellbook? I bet she’s now retarded from reading one spell from MY book.” Zetta said, putting emphasis on HIS words, dood. “Watch this, Twilight Beam!” Twilight said, grazing even more off the mountain side with her eye lasers. Zetta was intrigued, dood. “A mortal…learned my signature attack? Sure it’s pathetically weak, but it’s my attack.” Zetta said, sounding more impressed than pissed, dood. “Are you disappointed in me, father?” Petta asked, on the verge of tears, dood. “O-of course not, but why is my book here?” The Overlord asked, struggling to maintain his badass façade, dood. “Because I made a friend and a Overlord told me that demons relish solitude, so eventually I may have to destroy her, and I don’t want to do that.” Petta cried, tears slowly fell from her eyes, dood. Twilight put a hoof on Petta’s back to comfort her, dood. “Look Petta, it’s time to get back to the Netherworld, you still got your training, and besides…you may have made a new rival here.” Zetta claimed, I swear a big neon sign that said ‘Tsudere’ popped up above him, but Gigavolt was KOed at the moment, dood. “You mean, when I become a Overlord like you, I can come back and have a epic duel with my new friend that would destroy the universe?” Petta said, sounding rather hopeful and Twilight being very scared. “Of course Petta, but you still need to train. And so does your friend, it would be no fair to destroy her now, no challenge.” He punctuated that point by poking Twilight make her fly thirty feet away, dood. “See? Now let’s go home.” Petta walked with her father through a portal, but before that she turned around and yelled “Miss Twilight, please become stronger so that we can have the best friendly rivalry in existence, far greater than the rivalry between my father and Lord Valvatorez, Thank you for your hospitality.” She yelled, waving goodbye to the purple mare, dood. Twilight gave a comforting sigh as she got up to help Gigavolt. Gigavolt opened her eyes, but lacked the strength to move. “Twilight…get a lot of soft pillows and mattresses…gather them...and place them five feet east of me…” She gasped, still trying to fight off a horrific beating, spitting blood everywhere, dood. “You have ten minutes” Twilight nodded and levitated the demon pony to me, dood. “Make sure Gigavolt is alright.” Twilight ordered us, dood. We give her a salute as we watch what was suppose to be a evil mare and ask ourselves “the hell, dood?” “Must be a sight…to see me like this…I think Equestria…is weakening me…” Gigavolt muttered, we do feel a little bad that she got her shit beaten out of her for trying to save Twilight. But eww, dood. Twilight came back with a lot of ponies with lots of pillows, and placed them near the crater Zetta made for Gigavolt, and they waited. “What are we waiting for?” One villager asked, dood. “Rainbow” Gigavolt said, blood dripping from her mouth as she said it, dood. As Gigavolt said it, we all saw flashing rainbow lights from above as Rainbow landed in the large pile of soft stuff, she destroyed it all and made Gigavolt’s crater larger. Rainbow struggled to get up but when she finally got onto her hooves, she turned right around and vomited, before passing out, dood, the sky was raining feathers from the pillows Rainbow destroyed. “Wow…she still has her skin…rather durable pony…she is.” Gigavolt muttered, finally passing out. The ponyville ponies started to return to their homes, Applejack and Pinkie waked over to us, as Twilight levitated Rainbow Dash over. “We’ll let them rest in the library, after we dress Gigavolt’s wounds and clean Rainbow Dash a bit.” Twilight said, as she headed to her home, AJ and Pinkie followed suit to help Twilight out, and of course we prinnies followed too, I know we don’t do much beyond chores…but we are prinnies, dood. You throw us and we die, and Zetta knows this, so we can’t fight him very well. I kinda fell asleep first though, So I don’t know what happened afterwords, dood… (insert burp here, dood) Next Episode! Super Pal: Super Pal here, cause I wanted you guys to know how the Demon Brony Community works, dood. Rainbow Dash: This ought to be interesting. Super Pal: There are the Six main groups, each representing the Mane6: Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie, dood. Pinkie Pie: I bet my demony club throws the BEST parties! Super Pal: There are smaller groups dedicated to other ponies like Trixie, Celestia, DJ Pon3 and such, dood. Super Pal: The Twilight Sparkle group is a group that values knowledge over anything else, and spends nearly evey waking hour reading books in their fortress of books; these demons are known to be rather passive aggressive, and never start fights. They also consist of some of the most powerful magic users in the Netherworld! This group is lead by a Magic Knight named Titania, dood. Twilight Sparkle: Wow, a fortress of books! Super Pal: The Rainbow Dash group is warmongering group, always challenging something or someone. They alone destroyed the fan clubs dedicated to Gilda, the Wonderbolts, and Zecora. They're most Impressive victory was taking down the Titanic Fan Club dedicated to Derpy Hooves, dood. If you don't acknowledge that Rainbow Dash is the best pony, they execute you. They are lead by a Gunner named Eye, the Greatest Sniper. Rainbow Dash: Wow, I like their beliefs, but isn't that kinda rough? Super Pal: The Applejack Fan Club used to be real small, but eventually consumed Hades Primary source of edible vegetation, now they have a monopoly on anything that grows. They are like the Twilight Sparkle Fan Club that they don't attack first, but they are super strong physically, they snap mountains in half with their pinkie toes. They are lead by a Heavy Knight called Granite, but he had a Dark Assembly meeting recently to change it to "Heavy Macintosh", dood. Applejack: I like to hear that some demons take farming seriously, but to snap mountains in two? And what's a pinkie toe? Super Pal: The Fluttershy group has never been know to fight, ever...despite being the Netherworld's Best Assassins. They are also very good with monsters, and treat them with more respect than they usually get. These guys are the reason why the Gilda Fan club is gone, they hired several of these Fluttershy Lovers to assassinate the Gilda Fan Club leader in retribution for yelling at her in the first season on the show, dood. The leader is a Kunoichi called Buttermilk, we found it funny because she actually a cup size larger than normal Kunoichis, dood. Fluttershy: A-assassins? I don't think I like that very much, the animal part was okay, though. Super Pal: The Rarity Fan Club are all about making the Netherworld FABULOUS, they were actually the ones who made Petta's outfit for Disgaea 4, they also believe that if you can't stay in the trend of what's hot and what's not, you are killed for being UN-fabulous. They are lead by a Archer girl that calls herself Fashion Princess Lora, dood. Rarity: These demons must have excellent taste, Petta's dress was exquisite. Super Pal: The Pinkie Pie group are party animals that not even the Rainbow Dash group will approach, mostly because they are experts in torture. They make party favors out of the body parts of their victims and make them smile and laugh and have fun while they die slowly. The leader, a berserker named Ripjaw, loves Sergeant Sprinkle's Cupcake's fic so much, that its pretty much the Fan Club's bible. But if they are not trying to kill you, they throw the best parties in the Netherworld, dood, And by the way...this group is responsible for the destruction of the following fan clubs: Lyra Heartstrings, Breaburn, Cutie Mark Crusaders, and Spike. Even the Rainbow Dash fan club were impressed with the downfall of the Spike Fan club, since it was pretty big, dood. Pinkie Pie: I don't think the torture part was very fun...dood. Spike: I had a fan club? And Pinkie's Fan Club destroyed it mercilessly? Super Pal: And that is the mane clubs of the Netherworld for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, dood. Twilight Sparkle: I don't think I want to go to the Netherworld. Fusion Fool: If you do, make sure you go to the Sparkle Library, you'll be treated like a god, dood. ~dood~[/hr] The change of pace with the Next Episode thing was last minute since I couldn't think of something. But I FINALLY SOMEHOW MANAGED A NIS CAMEO..despite how lame it came and went...Thank you for reading. Oh and I made the first several chapters EASIER to read...they don't look like odd blocks of text no mores, dood. (Sorry for that, dood.)
Prinny Short, The Fall of King Sombra the first time, dood.My first thoughts of the circular staircase in the season primer of Season 3. Try to enjoy, with the best Bad Poker Face you can manage, I won't judge, dood. ~dood~[/hr] ~dood~[/hr] We, the prinnies, have prepared an accurate documentation of the Crystal Kingdom’s past, during King Sombra’s reign, dood. ~dood~[/hr] King Sombra sat upon his throne, a content smile on his face as his vassals served him, hoof over hoof. One of his magistrates foolishly dared to approach his royal throne. “Your highness, the stairs you have commissioned is complete.” He said, his gaze never leaving the ground. “Excellent, with the stairs complete and the enchantments in place; I can never be defeated by the promised one.” He cackled. He rose from his throne and strode to a window to gaze over his kingdom. “The Promised One?” The magistrate said; a spark of hope in his eyes, along with the various servants in the throne room. “Yes, a savior that will overthrow me, but he has one weakness. One exploit that he can never overcome... Stairs.” King Sombra said; everypony in the room gave their tyrant a confused stare; one maid nearly said are you serious? as he continued his vigilant gaze over what is his. “There he is!” Sombra said, as a small yellow spec started to move quickly towards the castle. “KING SOMBRA! YOUR END HAS COME!” said the small yellow spec as he continued his journey. “Claptrap…” Sombra muttered, moving towards the main castle’s entrance. He stared at the castle doors as the yellow box pushed his way past them with great difficulty. “As a favor to all my loyal fans, I have come to end your reign of terror! Have at thee!” Claptrap exclaimed, rushing at the evil king, only to trip and fall into the stairs. “Stairs? Ponies use stairs?” Claptrap muttered, his optic sensor trying to give an angry glare at the black stallion above him. “You monster!” Sombra let out an evil laugh as his adversary’s pathetic lack of legs. “That’s right; these stairs have 50,000 steps and infinite looping magic that would make Bowser’s staircase in Super Mario 64 look like a quick run to the bathroom. Suffer, you pathetic robotic wheel-beast.” “I will return, and I will have minions to stop you! Or Carry me up there to fight you, robot to pony!” Claptrap cried, leaving the castle behind him, oil dripping from his lens. “With Claptrap gone, I can never be stopped!” Sombra gloated with his fangs ~~and stuff~~. He strode to his throne to plan his next evil move. ~dood~[/hr] A bright light and noise woke King Sombra from his slumber; walking to his window he saw his nemesis, Claptrap, below him, with two female alicorns at his side. “I have brought minions to end your reign of terror, you stairs-loving bastard.” Claptrap roared as the two alicorn’s horns began to shine an incredibly bright light. “Well, that sucks.” Sombra muttered, he turned to see a few of his servants yawning and asking him what’s going on. “So, good news and bad news, loyal slaves.” Sombra said; the ponies looked up the tyrant with a quizzical look. “Bad news is, I am about to get my plot handed to me by two alicorn mares.” The ponies smiled in delight upon hearing this. “Good news is; all your asses are cursed to be forever depressed because I hid the Crystal heart and stuff.” The ponies’s smiles turned to despair. “Get used to that look, you and your descendants will be wearing that forever.” Sombra finished as two beams of light hit him in the back of the head, and caused him to disappear into a black vapor. ~dood~[/hr] “Congratulations, you are a moron.” Gigavolt said, dood. Getting up to leave the library. “It’s all true, dood. You can’t disprove that!” I says, dood. It was true. They all know it. “What exactly is Claptrap? And what made you want to tell this story in the first place?” Twilight asked; I don’t know if she was giving me a confused face or a face that said are you stupid?, dood. “Claptraps are robots from Borderlands, dood. They may not be as lovable as a prinny, but they are pretty cool, dood!” I answer, because it’s true, dood. “And cause you asked about the crystal empire, dood. All 100% fact, dood.” “Princess sent us a letter saying that Fusion Fool is ‘full of manure’, I can’t argue with royalty.” Spike said, holding an open scroll. “It’s the truth…don’t deny it, ever, dood.” ~dood~[/hr] ~dood~[/hr] This is a short, meaning this is something I thought up in 30 minutes and wrote in 30 minutes....and read for mistakes in 15 minutes. 25000000 hel says you all spam the dislike button till your index finger bleeds, dood.
Justice vs. Corruption, dood,This is it, dood. Hell is coming to drop a bomb upon us…and the only thing I can do to stop this carnival of endless destruction that would make Discord cringe and Nightmare Moon look on and say “I want my mommy”, the one thing that I must do to end this hatred… is roll a natural 20, dood. 3, attack missed and the manticore is now using my head as a chewtoy…crap, dood. Oh right, Twilight had an Equestrian copy of Dungeon and Dragons that’s called “Princess Quest”, I was once a mighty warrior that could bend steel with his pinkie, but the manticore that rolled a 17 decided to do that to me, dood; while Super Pal keeps rolling 20s like it’s the only number on that die. Quick rolecall, dood: I’m currently a rotting corpse, Super Pal is a dagger rogue with a horseshoe up his succubi love-hole, Spike is a Paladin where he vows to save Rarity from whatever the game master throws at us, Chocolate was a mage that casts ice and thunder spells, and Lady Sparkle is the game master. We have been at this for 3 hours so far, and Twilight is making sure that if we die, we get the graph and spreadsheet on how we failed so bad and what we could do to save our asses in the form of a lecture, but it wasn’t that bad, dood. I got up to make a snack for everyone because I’m technically dead, and the dead can leave their seat to grab snacks, dood. As a Prinny, why should I let that offer slide, dood? I enter the Kitchen of the library to grab some of the cookies that Chocolate made earlier with Pinkie, and took them back to the circle of RPG-ness. This is a slow game, dood. Spike is trying to get his shield engraved with Rarity’s cutie mark, Super Pal is hoarding the consumables like any variety of dragon that comes to mind, and Chocolate is trying to pick fights with the townsfolk of a board game, it’s like taunting the houses or the hotels in monopoly, why bother, dood? Twilight is having some fun, dood. But her OCD is acting up trying to get everyone to pay attention to what she has to say, dood. Last time this happened, Twilight just randomly shouted “Meteor Shower” and everyone shut up and rolled to see if they would survive…only Super Pal survived, until Twilight sent the Radiation Cockroaches after him and found out that they have a radiation tick that can’t be avoided and killed him in seconds, dood. Makes me wonder what catastrophe will happen to get the players to stop acting like kids… or get Spike to act like he’s older than what he actually is, dood. Our game was interrupted by Rainbow Dash crashing through the open window and landing on me, dood. Yea…she still broke the window, dood. “Hey Twilight, Applejack found something weird in her orchard…it looks like one of the prinnies.” She said, and zoomed out of the library like she’s some sort of badass, dood. We quickly followed her…to the best of our ability… Can you keep up with someone that probably has her teeth lined with Accelerators, dood? (Don’t let her know about the Accelerators, please dood.) One sprint later (we didn’t say anything we just ran, dood) we found Applejack, Big Mac, and Rainbow Dash surrounding something. Twilight moves next to them to look at the ULO (Unidentified. Lying. Object) and shifted a bit to let us look at whatever it was, dood. Now, if you were a prinny… you would respect this guy so much that you would call him “Big Brother” because he is the badass we prinnies need, and don’t deserve. Kurtis, The 38th Defender of Earth, dood. But he seemed to be out cold, though, so it’s hard to be awe-struck with greatness when the object of such greatness is lying in a apple orchard, dood. “Hey Fusion, do you know this guy?” Applejack asked me, dood. “That’s Green Brother, dood. He’s a legend among us prinnies. He has no master, and he strong enough to go up against overlords that don’t abuse Mt. Ordeal 4 and walk away like a champ, dood.” I gush, dood. Even Chocolate and Super Pal are like totally, dood. “And if they do abuse this ‘Mt. Ordeals 4’ place?” Twilight inquired, dood. I let out a sigh, dood. “Then he gets stomped like anyone else not named Tyrant Overlord Baal or Pringer X, dood.” It’s true though…Mt. Ordeal is a godsend for aspiring Overlords. Everyone that is a scared little girl in the area (Myself, the other prinnies, and sorta-kinda Spike) jumped and made a small scream when we all notice the green prinny twitch. Applejack and Rainbow Dash helped the poor guy onto her back as they carried him into the farmhouse, dood. “What do you know about Green Brother?” Twilight asked, everyone giving me all the attention, dood. “His name is Kurtis, he was a cyborg-human guy that worked with the EDF to take over the netherworld a long time ago as the ‘38th Defender of Earth’, he was defeated by Overlord Laharl and his vassals, dood. But in the end, his rival, Captain Gordon, taught him what it truly means to be a Defender of Earth, and Kurtis sacrificed himself to save the Netherworld, dood…he came back as a prinny because of the sins he committed while working in the EDF.” I stop for a moment to check if everyone caught up. “What’s a cyborg?” Spike asked, dood. “Cyborgs are people or ponies that replace a lot of their body with mechanical parts, either because they are insane or because they lost their old limbs and science decided to give them back, dood. Kurtis lost 70% of his body in an explosion that killed his wife and daughter, so he became a defender for the wrong reasons and became a prinny when he died, dood.” I continued, dood. “Ouch, that’s rough. Poor little fella.” Applejack said, it appears that she had just placed Kurtis on the couch behind her with a blanket over him and joined us, dood. “Well, he’s a good guy now, dood. And all prinnies look up to him, dood.” Super Pal chimed in, the prinnie sin the room nod in agreement, dood. The couch moved again behind us, when the badass behind us got up, his cold eyes searched the room for anything familiar, I guess dood. “Where am I?” He asked, dood. “Howdy there, Mister Kurtis. You’re in Sweet Apple Acres.” Applejack explained. Kurtis looked her dead in the eyes and she took a few steps back, dood. “Sweet Apple Acres? I didn’t think those demons took their fascination of a human child’s television show so seriously. Dress up like ponies, that's absurd.” He said, everyone NOT from the netherworld looked super confused, dood. He looked around to see me, Super Pal, Chocolate sitting down, dood. “Prinnies? I thought Heavy Macintosh hated prinnies.” He said, getting off the couch, dood. “Dood, you’re not in the Netherworld…you’re in Equestria.” Chocolate says slowly. Kurtis stopped for a moment slowly walked to the window to see that the usually rotten sky of the netherworld that we all remember it being…is actually a clean, clear blue sky, dood. “But this place is a marketing ploy to sell plastic ponies, how does this place exist?” He asked, you can so hear the gears moving in his head, dood. “Whatever happened to that ‘Prinny Rule Number One’ that these guys go crazy not to screw up?” Rainbow Dash asked, we all look at her with a critical eye…cause that remark wasn’t funny, dood. “Because I think it’s a ridiculous rule, and I will not abide by it.” Kurtis answered, Rainbow Dash looked at us wondering why we don’t just stop as well, dood. “You try dropping a habit that was nailed into your skull for 800 years, dood.” Chocolate remarked, going all angry eyes on the blue mare, dood. “May I ask why you are here?” Twilight asked him, he regarded her about as much as he regards anyone, dood. “I was called upon by Miss Artina to locate a rogue Prinny that escaped the Netherworld by blackmailing the dimension guide with free passage to a unknown location.” He said, dood. A glint shone in his eyes, dood. “With that said, how did these prinnies get here?” He interrogated (he asked like a interrogator would ask someone, dood, I dunno if it’s a word). “We came here months ago, dood. We paid that dimension guide lady and she let us come here. Ever since then we were employed under Lady Sparkle, dood.” I answered him, dood. “It’s not you then, this prinny escaped earlier in the week. You prinnies will assist me in finding this prinny. I don’t know the area very well and will need a guide.” Kurtis ordered, we all just salute, looking like we all shit bricks, dood. “We can help too; we can start our search tomorrow morning when we gather the girls.” Twilight said, Applejack and Rainbow Dash nodded in agreement, Spike nodded as well, hard to get excited about that though, dood. “Very well, I’m going to scout around to make sure the area is secure.” Kurtis said, he opened the door leading out of the house and took off at what looks like Rainbow Dash’s speed, dood. Rainbow Dash didn’t like him already, I can tell, dood. We all met at the library where Fluttershy was holding our Green Brother like he was a Teddy bear, dood. It was hilarious. “Someone tell this crazy mare, I’m not adorable.” He protested, the mares were giggling, but we prinnies didn’t find it funny, dood. “Oh, but you are. The way you act all tough and yet look so cute, is just precious.” Fluttershy said, there was still giggling and confused prinnies in the library’s foyer, dood. “Release me so that I can brief you all on the situation.” He commanded, the yellow mare reluctantly did so, but still rubbed his head with her hoof, dood. “Anyways, there is a prinny that escaped into this land early in the week. According to the description given to me, he is a black prinny with red eyes and metal scraps attached to his body, his name is “Mr. Shiny” but he has only been known to answer to the name ‘Sombra’.” Collective gasps from the ponies, dragon, and the prinnies that watched the Season 3 premier, dood. “According to his statistics Artina gave me: He is a level 10 Private Prinny with a level 3 Crab Claw, lv. 1 Powerful Jacket, level 4 Power Belt, and a stolen lv. 10 Cosmo Muscle. Evility is Explosive Nature. He has 5 known abilities: Prillin Bomb, Star, Enfeeble, Mind Break, and Slumber. Capturing or subduing him will be extremely simple it appears.” He finished, the ponies and dragon were still shocked…the prinnies were on the verge of laughing, dood. “So we are dealing with a weak prinny with a lot of health? Even with that, we can just throw him and send him back to the netherworld that way, dood.” Chocolate chuckled, dood. “Yea seriously, dood. Sure he had a cool design but, he has about as much character as a turnip, He went from dumb My Little Pony baddie to weakest prinny boss, dood, Gilda’s a better villain then him, dood.” Super Pal added, he fell over laughing by the way, dood. “He’s no Chrysalis or Discord, dood. That’s for sure. He only had 5 lines of dialogue; he is so sad, dood.” I cried…cause I was laughing so hard, dood. The equestrian citizens of the room were super confused by our actions... Maybe it’s because we regarded some of their biggest villains like they were there next door neighbor dood. “Indeed, He is rather weak; but remember none of us can lift him, we are all monster class, meaning we can’t lift others. We will have to deal with his large health pool.” Kurtis said, Ponies are super confused now, and we all sigh in defeat, dood. “Gigavolt is a pony, and she threw that Kamikaze prinny into a pit.” Rainbow Dash said, Kurtis shook his head, dood. “Gigavolt changed the rules around her, and is technically a ‘human’ class demon. Most demons consider this cheating the laws of nature, but when did demons ever care about laws?” Our Green Bro explained, “but if Gigavolt is here, then we can get her to assist us if we are adamant on throwing Sombra to exploit the Evility weakness.” “Gigavolt moved back to the Netherworld because she caught herself helping a pony in need and asked for no reward, dood.” I said, took her three minutes to figure out what she did, and when she did, she flipped, dood. She went as far as blowing up her workshop, just so ponies couldn’t use her old place or find a use for anything she may have left behind, dood. I bet she is running around desperate to kill other demons so she can act more like one again, dood. “Why don’t I just throw him, I beat him once before…I can totally, do it again.” Spike proclaimed, flexing his muscles, dood. “You won’t be able to, you are classified as a monster, kid.” Kurtis explained, you know that meme that has that guy looking at you funny like you’re a retard…Yea, dood. So anyways, Kurtis’ plan is to search the Everfree Forest, the more cowardly of us didn’t like the idea, but Kurtis said it was fine and that Everfree is home to some of the weakest monsters he has ever encountered. He even showed us where he vaporized a pack of Timberwolves, dood. The girls were still scared of any attacks that may happen…as was Super Pal since he’s a coward that by all means should be able to take down the Ursa Major, but too busy relieving himself of any pride he had, dood. We came across the Castle of the pony sisters as we see a black dot on the top of the castle’s tower. “Fools.” He says with his one-liners, he descends upon us, trying to look like a boss, dood. “You cannot hope to defeat me with the power I have gained.” Sweet Mother of Overlord Baal, he spoke more than one word, dood. “Mr. Shiny, you will be returning to the Netherworld, you still have a contract in Celestia.” Kurtis declares, Cue group eyebrow raise, dood. “The land of angels, dood. Not the Sun Princess.” Super Pal whispers, dood. “You believe I will return to a worthless land where they force royalty to wash dishes? Absurd.” Sombra spat, dood. “I will use my new found powers to end you, and make those ponies my slaves.” Everyone gets to battle formations that no one said anything about, with Kurtis at point, to fight this horror from the Crystal Kingdom, dood. The ponies or Sombra can’t see it but, even with the Cosmo Muscle, he only has 234510 health. “You think you can defeat me? You're nowhere near my level of skill.” Kurtis taunts. Sombra looked confused by this, unaware that he is going up against a lv. 5700 Defender of Earth, dood. Sombra lunges at Kurtis and hits him with his knives, dealing zero damage, dood. Counter Kurtis hit him back for 9582394 damage, expecting a epic fight, did ya, dood. I looked back to see Twilight holding her head with her hoof, “Why can’t prinnies ever make sense?” I don’t blame her, dood. “Thank you for your assistance, if you excuse me. I must be returning. Farewell.” Kurtis said, dood, as he flew off. “How is he so fast?” Rainbow Dash asked, Super Pal put a flipper on her shoulder, dood. “He's equipped with an accelerator, an item that makes you move really, really fast, dood.” Super Pal explained, dood. By now…all the ponies are trying to mentally register everything that just happened. The next day, the Mane6 and Spike took a day off from doing stuff just to continue trying to mentally absorb what the netherworld has taught them this chapter. So it fell to me to write a letter to Princess Celestia. Dear Princess Celestia I have learned that if you encounter something that is even more bizarre then what is commonly thought as bizarre, then you should try and just let it slide or it will give you a killer headache. I also learned that I suck at pacing as I have been telling my story to any who would listen, and Lyra keeps fixing my mistakes, which is cool, dood. I also learned that if you are vile enemy of Equestria in life, you are so screwed when you die, because you become so super weak, dood. The final thing I learned is that a prinnies view of ‘Badass’ translates to ‘adorable’ to everyone else, dood. Which is super weird. Twilight’s faithful servant, dood. Fusion Fool the Third Next Episode! Fusion Fool: Ponyville is under attack, dood! Twilight: Kay. Fusion Fool: The Evil Creature that I can't name has taken Rarity captive, dood! Rarity: Switching ships, are we? Fusion Fool: It's up to Sparkling Desperado to shoot this monster in the face...and save Rarity, dood. Twilight: I don't have fingers, and why did you pause in that line? Chocolate: Sparkling Desperado, dood? Really? Fusion Fool: With her wicked fast reflexes, that monster doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell, dood. Even with the constant badgering of her long time rival "Dead-eye Trixie" Super Pal: Why no Twixie, dood? Chocolate: He doesn't like Trixie, dood. Trixie: "Dead-Eye Trixie", Not a bad name, but "Great and Powerful" will always be mine. Fusion Fool: Final Episode! "The Lone Unicorn vs. Godzilla, the revegance" The bullet of justice and destruction will pop a cap in yo ass, dood! Pinkie: You are so out of ideas, 'dood' Fusion Fool: (sigh) yea, dood. I am. Author's Note Second final chapter, for two reasons, dood. Firstly: I keep forgetting about this cause of other things, dood. Secondly: I have a new idea I wanna do that actually going to be rather serious(as in I'm going to put ALOT more thought into it then I would for this...which is a collection of random stories that I think up on the fly and hope people enjoy, dood. So, Yea...I make you guys wait forever and you get this, I'm sorry, dood. Edit: I found out I suck at grammar I'mma going to try and make the final chapter ACTUALLY BETTER THEN THIS ONE...and well, do stuff, dood. I can't on good conscience stop anyone from buying torches and pitchforks to kill me over this, dood.
Bring a bucket for this one, dood.We are all seriously confused here, dood. Protip for this chapter, dood. You may need a bucket for vomiting at bad character development. We got a letter from Princess Celestia that her 3rd cousin (twice removed)’s nephew is coming over to learn ‘Friendship’ from Lady Sparkle, dood. Twilight didn’t know that Celestia had a cousin, dood. But apparently he is some sort of power house from the distant islands. But I was sure that ‘Prince Dark Nebula’ was an okay pony, shame his name sounds like an overused OC with no character, dood. So as we got things ready, we heard an explosion coming from outside. Being the badass I hope she can be, Twilight was the first outside, dood. With me, the last two remaining prinnies, and Spike following behind, dood. The smoke cleared and a pony emerged from the crater he made in town. He was a rather large alicorn, about Luna’s size; His coat was black and his mane was a very dark red and had a floaty feel to it. I took one look at the guy and thought ‘emo’, dood. “Are you Twilight Sparkle?” He asked, which makes me assume he is the ‘Prince’ we were waiting for, dood. Lady Sparkle likes to meet new ponies, so meeting an Alicorn was a plus for her. “Yes, I take it you must be Dark Nebula, please…” He disregarded her and walked into the library. “Come this way," she finished, dood. Twilight’s friends were here quickly to see the commotion. “What in hey was that, that pony just blew a hole in town, he coulda hurt somepony!” Applejack yelled, running past everypony to confront the Prince, dood. “Why should I care, it’s not my town” Was all he said. This caused him to piss Applejack off a bit more. “Who do you think you are, mister?” Applejack continued to yell, only to be pushed back away from the Cloud Strife-knockoff by Pinkie, dood. “You are here to learn how to be friends with others, and that wasn’t very friendly, Black Nebula,” Twilight said, the prince shrugged it off, like the emo bitch that he was, dood. “This isn’t my land; it’s none of my concern,” he muttered, I was starting to get angry and reached into my fannypack for my trusty Shotgun (it’s a Jakobs by the way) only for Pinkie to push it back in, dood. “You are a guest here, and your mother, and her cousin both expect you to act like guest in another pony’s country,” Well said, Lady Sparkle…I mean Twilight said, dood. “Yea, just because you’re an alicorn, doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want,” Rainbow Dash got all up in his grill to shout that shit, dood. “I’m sure this fascinating stallion has quite the story to share for another time,” Rarity said, you can hear struggle to say the word ‘fascinating’, dood. “It’s my life, you don’t need to know,” He spoke in a tone that sounded like he was butthurt in the past, dood. “Well I hope you have lots of fun in Ponyville. Don’t forget to come by Sugarcube Corner later for your party, Mister Grumpy Alicorn,” Pinkie said before hopping out the door, dood. The rest of Twilight's friends gave her a worried look, dood. “It’ll be fine; he just needs to be brought out of his shell,” She said, I took a look at him and thought that he was one of those hollow chocolate rabbits that you accidentally left outside during the winter, hard exterior with nothing inside, dood. “If this pony gives you trouble, come let us know sugarcube,” Applejack said, walking out the door, with Fluttershy whimpering beside her. Rainbow Dash gave the Alicorn one last glare before flying back out, dood. “Applejack is right, dear. I know you have the prinnies and Spikey but if you ever need help with this gentlecolt,” Rarity said, she visibly shuddered when she gave him one last look before leaving, dood. Lady Sparkle turned to her guest who was rolling a pencil under his hoof, dood. “Okay, Black Nebula. Let’s begin!” ~dood~[/hr] We have spent days, and the only thing he learned was how to greet other ponies before disregarding them, dood. I did how ever notice him checking out Lady Sparkle out a few times and I tried to pull out my Jakobs but was stopped EVERY TIME by Super Pal or Chocolate, “Give the guy a chance, dood. If we find him in Lady Sparkle’s bed, then we kill him,” Chocolate said, making me hope I can catch him before doing anything that involves Twilight’s bed, or Lady Sparkle herself, dood. I kinda walk up to him, dood. Wanting to give him more character as I write this. “So, Dark Nebula, dood. How are ya?” I said. “I’m fine, still trying to contemplate my death?” He asked, dood. I wasn’t making it out to be a big secret so… “Only if you get any funny ideas, dood,” I answered, he leered towards me, dood. “Listen, ‘dood’ I love Twilight with all my heart, and a little penguin will not stop me,” He whispered threateningly…that a word, dood? “You’ve known her for 4 days, dood. And you spent most of that looking out the window, bored,” I said, I don’t think he heard me, because he was looking out the bloody window, dood. “I have my reasons, twerp,” He snarled at me, dood. I try to look out the window as well to find he was staring at Applejack, now. “Why are you looking at Applejack now, dood?” I asked; his jimmies are getting rustled so good, dood. “I love Applejack with all my heart, and who are you to say that I can’t look at the ponies I love?” He nearly yelled at me, I turned to see that Twilight did a complete 180 back into the kitchen, dood. I think he saw it too, because he ran after her, dood. I followed closely behind the guy cause every fight needs a ref, dood. found Twilight and Super Pal making tea. “I’m sorry you had to hear that Twilight, but it’s true,” He walked up and hugged the purple unicorn from behind, I noticed a cringe from her. “I love you, Applejack, and Fluttershy with all my heart, I now realize why Celestia asked me to come here, to find you.” Remember that bucket I asked you to get? I think the time to use it is now. “That’s nice of you to say, Dark Nebula, and I’m flattered that you find me attractive, but I’m…” DATE RAPE! He kissed Twilight hard, but I wanna say, THANK YOU FOR MAGIC, DOOD! Because she teleported out of his grasp coughing. He looked at what he had done and ran out the door, dood. “So Lady Sparkle, dood. On a scale of one to ten…” Super Pal inquired, dood. "Forget the scale; we need to find him to before he does something that could hurt him, or AJ and Fluttershy,” She cried, she ran out the door with me and Super Pal trying to keep up, dood. After some running, we found him staring down Big Mac at the farm, the big guy was standing his ground like a champ though, dood. “I wish to see Applejack, stand aside,” He ordered. “Nope,” Big Mac said, the Prince seemed to get all angry because he used his magic to throw Big Mac out of his way, and Twilight caught him and set him down, dood. “Thanks Miss Twilight.” “Don’t worry about it, we got to get to Dark,” Twilight said, all of us, including Big Mac just in case I screwed up that meaning, went after him, dood. We found him pinning Applejack to the ground, this got Big Mac all pissed, dood. He just shoulder checked the guy off. “Thanks Big Mac,” Applejack said getting off. “For the love of Overlord Baal, dood. Are you alright?” Super Pal yelled, running over to hug Applejack’s leg. “He didn’t bad touch you, did he dood?” “No, he just wanted me and him to run away back to his Kingdom and away from this ‘horrible’ town,” Applejack explained, we looked around to find that he was gone, dood. “We need to get to Fluttershy, quickly!” Twilight ordered, I don’t know how else to say it, so we just booked it, dood. We got to Fluttershy’s place, and found that Harry the Bear was knocked out, dood. We looked in to see a whimpering Fluttershy being cuddled by the Alicorn Abomination. “Sweet Celestia, how could I let Fluttershy rape into this, dood” I muttered under my breath but Big Mac tapped me on the back, dood. “The room doesn’t smell like intercourse, little fella,” He said, Thank you Lord, it’s just an awkward cuddling, dood. “Dark Nebula!” Twilight called out waking the Alicorn out of his nap. “How could you do this? You force me into a kiss, you pin Applejack to the ground, and now your scaring Fluttershy. What do you have to say for youself?” “I love my mares, my existence is meaningless without them. I know that Celestia wishes for me to rule Equestria one day, and she wishes for me to choose my brides, and I have. You, Applejack, and Fluttershy will stand by my side when I become king,” He said, dood. “This is already a bad fanfic, dood. But what you just said, makes no sense,” I said, walking up to him. He stopped cuddling Fluttershy by the way, dood. “Twilight was teaching you how to be a good friend, and she is the best pony after all so I can see why you would want to tap that, dood.” I can feel the two earth ponies and the unicorn glaring into the back of my skull, dood. “You met Applejack twice since you got here, once because she was angry about the crater you made when you got here, and again when Twilight asked you to demonstrate your ‘friend-making’ skills in which you asked for an apple, gave Applejack the money, and walked away, acting as if Applejack was the most boring pony on the planet, dood.” I could feel Applejack wanting to beat me up behind me, dood. “But you met Fluttershy once and she didn’t even introduce herself, nor did she try to make herself known to you, dood. You found out her name from Twilight when she was giving you an example, by using her own friends, dood.” “You don’t understand me, I am a prince!” He yelled, dood. He broke through the window and just flew off. “Should we go check the other three to be sure that he doesn’t date rape them, dood?” Super Pal asked, dood. “Applejack, Big Mac. You check on Pinkie. I’ll check on Rainbow Dash. Fusion Fool you go check on Rarity. Super Pal, stay here and help Fluttershy,” She ordered, Applejack and Big Mac nodded and ran out the door, dood. “Hah, I got the easy job, dood. I just need to sit here and pretend to be a stuffed animal for the cutest pony,” Super Pal mocked me, dood. He sat right in front of Fluttershy only to be grabbed and cuddled by the shy pegasus, lucky bastard, dood. Remembering I gotta prevent OC Alicorn rape, I ran out to make sure that Spike was making my job super easy, dood. ~dood~[/hr] It was super easy, dood. Spike said that Dark Nebula hasn’t stopped by to make Rarity feel dirty… in a bad way, dood. I reconvened back to the library to find a black envelope on the ground, dood. “What do you have there, Fusion Fool?” Twilight asked, floating the letter out of my flippers, dood. “Is this from Dark Nebula?” She opened to and read aloud; Dear Twilight Sparkle, My lord will be coming to visit you today to inspect your prinnies, to ensure that they are being objectified correctly as the tools that they are. Whether you are ready for us or not, is not our concern, but yours. Lord Valvatorez’ Letter Guy Badass Mcgee Oh shit, dood. Lord Valvatorez was coming, and we have a bland alicorn on the loose, dood! Twilight studied the letter carefully when she heard a knock on the door, dood. “Hello?” She asked. Before her stood two demons, dood. And here are their pictures, dood. It was Lord Valvatorez and his bitch, Master Fenrich, dood. “Are you Twilight Sparkle?” Valvatorez asked, dood. Twilight nodded, as he stepped forward to inspect me. “Why does this prinny look as if he has been to a spa?” He asked, dood. “Because I invited him, Chocolate, and Super Pal to join me and my friends last week, as a reward for working so hard,” Twilight answered, she was scared of this guy’s aura, and he put Nightmare Moon to shame with all the evil surrounding him. “You took them to the spa? You idiot, they are the filth of the human world; they do not need your sympathy, they need to be worked to the bone to earn their right to reincarnate under the Red Moon,” Fenrich added, Twilight jumped when he spoke, dood. “And who is Chocolate? We are aware that you have Fusion Fool the Third, a lazy human that wrote bad Clopfics then was beaten to death by someone that desired to have you, Twilight, to ‘catch’ more then you ‘pitched’. Super Pal, who was executed for pulling down the pants of a African Dictator, and Golden Shower, who murdered a few people and was shanked in a prison for trying to be the Prison Alpha,” Fenrich explained, dood. “I’ll ask what you meant by the catch and pitch thing later, but Super Pal and Chocolate really did those things?” Twilight muttered, sitting on her flanks, dood. “Indeed.” Valvatorez said, checking the kitchen. “Good, you have a sufficient amount of sardines in your refrigerator.” He took some of them and ate it, dood, “In excellent form too, Fenrich, ensure that I get my sardine supply from Equestria, they have an exquisite flavour.” “I will take note of that, my lord,” He said, walking over to the basement, dood. “At least she makes them sleep in dark among their own filth.” “Actually, they have blankets down there, and they clean after themselves too,” Twilight said, walking next to Fenrich, dood. “Blankets? Are you stupid? You shouldn’t spoil them, they have no right to be,” Fenrich yelled. Twilight friends along with Super Pal and Chocolate walked into the door, dood. “Are you saying you would allow a demon to stay here and eat your sardines?” Valvatorez asked, Twilight just nodded, dood. “My word, the lad was right. This world is more pleasant than Celestia!” “The land of angels, not the princess, dood” Super Pal said, getting several nods from the confused ponies, dood. “You can’t just intimidate my friend like that,” Rainbow Dash yelled at the vampire. The werewolf wasn’t pleased and was ready to turn the blue pegasus into glue, dood. “I don’t care who are you, sirs. But the prinnies worked hard to get here, and they are our friends, and they ain’t leaving,” Applejack said, she walked right next to the purple unicorn,dood. “Quite right, dear. They may have incited a few unnecessary things like that Gigavolt character but they have been dears helping us with whatever we needed to do,” Rarity said, stepping forward, dood. "If you don’t mind, but I think the prinnies should stay. They are just so cute, and they are nice and help me and other ponies around Ponyville,” Fluttershy squeaked, but I think both demons heard her though, dood. “Besides, Twilight gave them a Pinkie Promised that she’ll help them,” Pinkie said, dood. “A Pinkie Promise? What is that?” Valvatorez asked, walking over towards the party mare, dood. “A Pinkie Promise is a promise that you never want to break or it could mean the end of your friendship, FOREVER!” Pinkie explained; I knew this would save us, dood. “Forever? Truly a promise of such magnitude would bear a heavy burden upon the heart of young Twilight,” Valvatorez muttered, dood. Fenrich face-palmed in the back there. “Milord, that promise is possibly something the fools around here made up for themselves in hopes that it could save their pitiful ‘friendships’,” He explained, shit dood. “A promise is a promise, Fenrich. If we take these prinnies away, then we would have forced Twilight to break her promise. And who knows what kind of destructive consequences could happen,” Valvatorez explained, dood. “We shouldn’t care about a small purple unicorn, milord. And what’s the worst that could happen? She’ll eat a bucket of ice cream, read a book, or go outside for all we know,” Fenrich tried to reason, dood. “Nonsense, Fenrich. She made a vow to these prinnies, and we can not force her to break such bonds of friendship simply because we thought that she isn’t fit to order prinnies around. And this Pinkie Promise… this oath might destroy this world and the netherworld with the gravity of its weight should Twilight break it,” Valvatorez said, being super oblivious to his own drama, dood. “Very well, All is for my lord,” Fenrich grimaced and bowed, and there was a cheer among the ponies and prinnies in the room, dood. And a loud yell outside. We all rushed outside to see that there is a thunderstorm outside and Dark Nebula standing there, dood. “I have returned from my journey.” “Who is that, he appears to be lost, or confused,” Valvatorez asked, the alicorn took a step forward, the energy radiating from his hooves caused the ponies to take a step back, dood. “I am here to claim the mares that took my heart,” he said, he looked pissed, dood. “Good for you, I’m sure they would be delighted to see such a pitiful creature like yourself,” Fenrich said. He was clearly baffled by this colt, dood. “Who are you two? And why are you standing near my mares?” He snarled, he walked up to Valvatorez and glared at him. “I am Valvatorez, Prinny Instructor of Hades, and Leader of the Hades Party. Who might you be?” Valvatorez asked, he didn’t acknowledge the killing aura that the alicorn was sending out, dood. “I am Prince Dark Nebula, son of Radiant Comet the 64th, and nephew of her royal highness, Princess Celestia. And you better get away from MY MARES!” He yelled. Valvatorez took a hanky out of his jacket and wiped some of the saliva off his face. He took a glance at the ‘mares’ and find that they didn’t like the guy very much. “Please excuse me, but you are causing a disturbance with your idiocy. Leave now and we may not be forced to attack,” He commanded, only for Dark Nebula to breathe pure darkness as Valvatorez’s face, dood. The attack was shrugged off by the vampire, as he gave the alicorn a stern look. Fenrich however already had is hand around Dark Nebula’s neck. “You dare strike at my lord?” He snarled, strangling the black colt, dood. Twilight used her magic to separate Fenrich’s hand from Dark’s neck, dood. “Hold on, we don’t need to do this.” “Yes we do; they want a fight, they will have it, no one gets between me and the six mares that I love!” Dark Nebula said, flying up into the sky. Valvatorez just stood there dumbfounded, and kept that look when he was hit by the massive laser beam of death the Alicorn created from his horn, dood. “This is so stupid, dood,” Super Pal said, everypony except Twilight nodded, dood. "Did he just say 'six' mares that he loved?" Pinkie asked, we just shrugged, dood. "You think such a pathetic attack would work on an Overlord, lad?” Valvatorez said, shrugging off the attack. “I’ll show you.” The vampire summoned a big ass Laser sword, and jumped to meet Dark Nebula in the air, who also summoned a weird magic sword. The two clashed only to find that, Dark Nebula’s sword had no chance against Lord Valvatorez, and was easily beaten. Dark Nebula got up and flew back into the sky, crying, dood. “If I cannot have my mares, then no one can.” I think he was channeling Frieza now because he summoned a large energy ball of death, dood. Fenrich sighed and jumped far above everypony. Dark Nebula sent his attack sailing towards the library only for Valvatorez to disperse it easily, dood. Fenrich came back down to bury the alicorn underneath the FUCKING moon. “Next time, pick your battles wisely, whelp.” Fenrich muttered, jumping off the space rock. Everypony had their jaws on the ground and couldn’t do a thing because of how weird it is to have the moon in the center of Ponyville, dood. Needless to say, Luna and Celestia got here super quick when this happened. “Twilight, why is my sister’s moon in the center of town?” The solar monarch asked. Everypony pointed at Fenrich, dood. “What gives you the right to take our moon from its proper place?” Luna ordered, dood. “Excuse me, you highness. But I needed it to crush an annoying bug,” He answered, casually, dood. Twilight ran up to the princesses. “I’m sorry Princess, but I didn’t know they could do that, they are here to inspect the situation with the prinnies, and your nephew went berserk and fought them,” She was shushed by her mentor’s hoof, dood. “Dark Nebula?” Celestia nearly whispered, before using her magic to lift the moon off the black alicorn, dood. Luna took the moon out of her sister’s grasp and put it back in place. “Must you embarrass your mother like this?” She said, magically lifting the prince onto his hooves, dood. “But Aunt, they kept me from the loves of my life, help me smite them,” He begged, dood. “Not this again, remember when you attacked Shining Armor when you found out your cousin, Cadance married him? Don’t you ever learn?” She scowled, magically lifting him by his ear, dood. “I am truly sorry he acted like this, my dear student.” “Uh, it’s…alright?” Twilight said, not sure what to make of this situation, dood. Luna was currently yelling at Fenrich who was just told not to hit her by Valvatorez. Valvatorez however walked up to Celestia, dood. “You are the ruler of this land correct?” He asked, Celestia nodded, her smile returning. “I am Valvatorez, and I would like to know why you would allow your student to be ‘nice’ to the prinnies? They do not deserve the kindness of ponies. Promise me that you’ll ensure that they are worked harder to ensure that they reach reincarnation, I do not mean ‘baking’ and ‘common cleaning’, I mean scrubbing bathrooms, assassinating griffons or whatever your kind see as a foe, or even forcing them pave the streets a brilliant gold would be satisfactory; Promise me, Princess Celestia,” He ordered, dood. Princess though about what he said, and Rarity kinda wanted the last part to happen, dood. “While I cannot promise their chores will become more difficult as Equestria is a peaceful land, but I can promise that they will earn their right to reincarnate, by your rules,” She said, smiling. “But do promise me that your demons would not cause any more trouble here, I think the sudden arrival of my sister’s moon may have scared everypony.” “Only if your student stops with over paying them, one sardine every 20 hours of labour is sufficient,” He said, Celestia gave his words some thought before nodding in agreement, dood. I heard Chocolate mutter shit behind me, dood. He turned to Twilight and her friends. “Have these prinnies been following their most important rule?” He asked dood. “You mean the ‘dood’ rule? Yes they have,” Twilight answered. “Excellent,” he said, smiling. “Fenrich, we are leaving. Apologize for abusing the princess’ moon and let us be off,” he ordered, Fenrich snarled and muttered an apology form the angry blue alicorn, and they teleported out of there, dood. We all stood their thinking, 'what the fuck just happened, dood.?' Twilight was the first to recover, “I don’t think we should think too hard on that,” she said, we all nodded in agreement, dood. Me and the other two prinnies huddled together to discuss the current events, dood. “What are we going to do, dood? We are going to lose our cookie and apple pay, dood!” Super Pal panicked. “And we might be working harder, dood.” Chocolate muttered. I had to think carefully, dood; otherwise this would turn out bad. I turned to see Twilight and the princess talking, with Dark Nebula still being held by his ear, dood. Twilight walked over to us and smiled, “Sorta-good news and Bad news, guys.” Here it comes, dood. The sorta-good news is that I am sorta going to increase your workload but it won’t be that bad, you’ll just be completely taking over Spike’s duty of cleaning the library, which you do anyways. The bad news is that I will have to cut your pay to one sardine every 20 hours, but I’m sure Valvatorez won’t mind you guys having a snack every once in a while,” Twilight explained. We looked at each other and cheered “ALL HAIL LADY SPARKLE, DOOD!” Next Episode! Gigavolt: A lost unicorn in the depths of the Netherworld. Fusion Fool: What are you doing here, dood? Gigavolt: She finds herself locked in a civil war where her friends are being used as figure heads to motivate them into destroying the other. Twilight: This sounds odd. Gigavolt: She must ally herself with some demons to help her rescue her friends. Twilight: This doesn't sound like shipping. Gigavolt: Next Story, Harmony and Fear. The battle of demons lead by their pony mascots will set the world aflame. Twilight: I don't think I like the sound of that. Fusion Fool: Uhh, Twilight will get to bang somepony aswell, dood! Gigavolt: No she won't. Author's Note It's done...and I think I screwed you all with the long wait, I'm sorry, dood. I wanted to get Valvatorez in there somehow, because he had to be. The reason behind the OC Alicorn... Kinda obvious that he is a jab at all the other OC Alicorns that were written badly, not saying that they are all lame, Faith from Faith and Doubt and from Abundance (though I am weirded out by the sudden shipping the author threw in there between him, Trixie, and Twilight) is actually pretty good, dood. So, sometime I'm going to start the next story and have an actual proof-reader look at it before I give it to you guys, so... A story with ALOT more planning the what was used for this or the clopfic I have been working on lately, what a shocker, dood. Thanks for giving this story a chance, dood. You are all awesome. EDIT cause i'm an idiot: SUper Special Thanks to Refferee for commenting all my mistakes, it's embarrassing for me but still is nice of the guy to do that for every chapter, dood.
Chores, and Needless explainations, dood.Finally, the next chapter, It may appear like it was butt rushed, but I still didn't want to leave you hanging, here's hopes that this is not a bad chapter, dood. ~dood~[/hr] Day one on the job, dood. We had the first peaceful sleep we have ever had since we became prinnies, Spike and Master Cupcakes were making breakfast, dood. Blueberry pancakes with chocolate syrup(lucky ponies) with a glass of orange juice for Lady Sparkle, Spike, and each one of us prinnies, dood. After finishing and cleaning up for our new pony overlord, it was time to get to our tasks for the day, dood. "Master Cupcakes, I recall yesterday that you were a baker of sorts for your previous master, so would you please go and help Pinkie Pie?" I turn to Mr. Kamikaze, dood, and he was sweating bullets. A few months ago, when Master Fenrich found out about our Brony status, he would ask Emizel about the grimdark section, we screw up a chore, he will force us to reinact one of those grimdark stories with the poor prinny acting as the victim, dood. Mr. Kamikaze screwed up a lot of times in the past during that era, and that earned him Sweet Apple Massacre with a Rifle Demon playing as Big Mac, Cupcakes with a Android as Pinkie, and Rainbow Factory with a Lady Samurai as Rainbow Dash, dood, he was even forced to be Rainbow Dash in a prinny reenactment of SHED.MOV, poor dood. Not too surprising to see Mr.K going nuts over anybody heading to help Pinkie with cupcakes. "Got it, dood." said Master C, as he headed off, the Hazard prinny rushed to the window to watch his friend calmly walk to his death. "Hey moron, Pinkie isn't going to bake him into cupcakes, dood, that's just a story made by a sick and twisted human." I claim. Mr. Kamikaze turned his head to me, still frightened, he turned back to find that his yellow friend has disappeared in the crowd of confused ponies. "Why would Pinkie bake anypony, or in this case, a prinny, into a cupcake." Twilight asked, dood. "A stupid story that a human brony made to scare others, I don't want to bore you with details, dood." I said, in hopes to end this particular conversation. "A Story?" Twilight asked. I don't like the way she became interested in this, dood. "A horror story, about a pony that does a lot of harm to another pony and uses that same pony as ingredients, dood." I said with a hint of "matter-of-fact" tone. "I guess, it's a story where Pinkie tortures and kills a pony and makes them into a cupcake? and the story victim is one of our friends?" Twilight said, and to think murder never happens here, dood. "Rainbow Dash to be precise, dood." said Super Pal. "Why Rainbow Dash? Her and Pinkie are such good friends." asked Twilight, all of us shrugged, as Spike entered the room, dood. "Going over to Rarity's to help her get gems." Spike said, all of us saw the hearts in his eyes at the mention of Rarity, dood. "That's good, why don't you take Chocolate with you." Twilight said, dood. Chocolate walked up to the dragonic assistant and gave him a salute, "Ready when you are, dood." Spike looked a little put off by us prinnies, can't blame him, dood. "Mr. Kamikaze, can you go see if Fluttershy needs help?" Our Hazard prinny was still sweating bullets, but he nodded, and left to Fluttershy's cottage, dood. Twilight turned to the last three of us. "Lets see, Fusion Fool, how strong are prinnies?" "Depends on our Teir Rank, Level, and Attack, dood." I said, dood. This only confused Lady Sparkle, dood. "Teir Rank? Level? Attack? What the hay are you talking about?" I was about to answer her, but then Super Pal, dood, pipes up "Teir is what rank of Prinny we are, first there is Private Prinny, which are blue, Captain Prinnies are orange, then there is the Colonel Prinnies that are purple, General Prinnies that are green, Prinny Kings are Pinkish Red, and Prinny Gods are Black, dood." The Party Prinny said, dood. "So, Fusion fool is a Prinny God, Super Pal is a Colonel Prinny, Mr. Kamikaze is a Private Prinny, wait, whats Chocolate and Master Cupcake?" Ask our favorite librarian, dood. "Golden Shower is a Prinny God with a colour swap, dood, and-" Chocolate rushed into the library with a bat and pounded Super Pal in the face. "The name is Chocolate, dood." Chocolate said while looming over the unconscious body of Super Pal, dood. Lady Sparkle gasped "Super Pal! Chocolate, I want you to apologize to Super Pal when he wakes up, got it?" Twilight had her lecture face on, this isn't good. Chocolate looked down away from Super Pal and said "Ok, dood." and left to his appointed tasks, dood. I coughed to get Lady Sparkle's attention. "As Super Pal was saying, Chocolate is a Prinny God too and Master Cupcake is a General Prinny, yellow use to be the Prinny God colour a long time ago, but it was changed to black, dood." I explained. "As for Level, and attack, dood? level is our current skill level that demons are commonly ranked by, but isn't the actual end all for "who is stronger the who" since equipment is also a factor, dood. And attack is well, our physical power, dood. In other words, I'm a level 1000 prinny god, Chocolate is a level 800 prinny god, true I have better stats then him, but he had a higher attack then me. Super Pal is a level 200 colonel prinny, with slightly higher hit then normal prinnies, Master Cupcake is a lv. 1000 prinny king with above average intelligence, and Mr. Kamikaze is a level 10 private prinny cause he dies so often, dood." Took Lady Sparkle a few seconds to figure out what I just said, dood. "So the netherworld is basically a world of 'power rules here but knowing math is needed too' kind of deal? That's just weird; very interesting, but weird." Twilight said. "Also boring when you gotta grind to lv. 9999, We got a few people there, like Lord Valvatorez, but it's a chore, dood." I said. We both sigh, "Well then Fusion Fool, seeing as Super Pal is out for the moment, help him onto my back, and we'll go and help Applejack with her apple trees." Twilight smiled as she got ready to leave, dood. "Got it, dood." as I lifted Super Pal, being a Prinny God means being decently strong, but then again, prinnies are stupid light dood, it's amazing a breeze doesn't make us fly a few feet and hurt us, dood. I gentle placed Super Pal on Twilight's back as the three of us headed to Sweet Apple Acres, I can almost taste the apples, dood. Next Episode! Fusion Fool: Nightmare Moon has descended, dood, and taken Pinkie Pie prisoner! Pinkie Pie: Oh boy! My turn to be the damsel in distress. Twilight Sparkle: This "next episode" thing hurts my head. Pinkie Pie: You are not prepared for the Fourth Wall breaking of this magnitude, silly. Fusion Fool: Deep within the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters, the wicked side of Luna attempts to ruin Pinkie Pie, by making her eat those small low-fat cookie crackers, dood. Pinkie Pie: How could she. Twilight Sparkle: Low-fat? We move around too much for the fat to grow on us. Chocolate: Probably the reason why you girls have been the same weight class since forever, dood. Twilight Sparkle: Even I get outside from time to time. Fusion Fool: The Equestrian hero, Twilight Sparkle will save the fair Pinkie Pie from a cruel fate of low-fat snacks, dood! Pinkie Pie: Sweet Celestia, hurry Twilight! She has a bran muffin stuffed with raisins! Twilight Sparkle: Are you serious? This is getting ridiculous. Rainbow Dash: You guys still going on about how much better Twilight is then the rest of us? Chocolate: What did I say in chapter 2, dood? Twilight Sparkle: I am not better then any of my friends. Master Cupcake: Better then Trixie, dood? Twilight Sparkle: In a way, yes. Super Pal: Twilight is a better caster then Trixie! It's canon now, dood! Fusion Fool: Next Episode: "The Maw of Terror, dood" Twilight will save her latest maiden form the clutches of doom. Mr. Kamikaze: Latest maiden, dood? Fusion Fool: I'm trying to build Lady Sparkle a harem, dood, shut up. Twilight Sparkle: (Facehoof) Pinkie Pie: Alright, as long as Twilight lets me be on top every once in awhile. Fusion Fool: Of course, dood, Hard to imagine Twilight on top, no matter how great she is. Twilight Sparkle: I recall you prinnies exploding when thrown, I want to test that theory. Fusion Fool: RUN DOOD! Chapter 4, I am amazed I can keep this up, I have a bad habit of forgetting to update chapters cause I get scared of no one seeing it. Anyways, I have been working on 2 other stories, One is another Cross-over(some of you may have noticed that my CYOA is gone) which stars my idea for Hawke in that SAME scrapped story, the other is a Clopfic, but I dunno if I want to glance at that yet dood, still need booze for that. Thank you for reading.
