You Know How I Know You're soft?

by SweetiePie08

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Fluttershy, Discord, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1433

Fluttershy is feeling a bit down after her critters have gone to sleep for the winter. Discord decides to lighten the mood in his own way.

Fluttershy is feeling a bit down after her critters have gone to sleep for the winter. Discord decides to lighten the mood in his own way. Obvious 40 Year Old Virgin reference.

Published 2014-01-08 01:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-08 01:50:04 UTC

You Know How I Know You're Soft?

You Know How I Know You're Soft?

Fluttershy opened the door to her cottage feeling an odd mix of relief and loneliness. It had been a long day. It was the first day of winter and Fluttershy had spent it making sure her animal friends were all safe and sound as they settled down for their winter hibernation. It was the same as every year, and even though she knew her little friends would return in a few months, she couldn’t help but feel blue. Sure, a few critters didn’t hibernate and might need her help, but these types of animals tended not to need as much care as her other animal friends. Just the thought that her home would go without the pitter patter of little hooves/paws/claws for a while was enough to make her want to crawl into bed and not come out until spring. In fact, she decided to do just that, or at least more realistically, call it an early night.

She made her way up the stairs and into her room, all the while wondering what to do with her free time now that she had less animals to take care of. Just as she got herself comfortably settled into bed, a flash of light filled her room and a rambunctious draconequus made his entrance.

“Hey there Fluttershy! I was just thinking that since winter is finally here, you and I can finally go skating like we talked about, hm?”

“Oh, um, hi Discord,” Fluttershy said, sitting up in bed and throwing her blanket aside for the moment, “I appreciate the invitation, but I’m afraid I’m not in the mood right now.”

Discord coiled his body around Fluttershy’s bed. “Not in the mood, you say?”

“Yes, you see,” Fluttershy twiddled her hooves together, “I just put my animal friends down for hibernation and it always makes me sad that I won’t be seeing them again until Winter Wrap-Up.”

Discord let out a thunderous laugh that did nothing to help her mood. “Is that all?” Discord floated up into the empty airspace in her room. “You’ll be seeing them again won’t you? My dear Fluttershy, I knew you were sentimental, but I didn’t know you were so soft.”

“Soft?” She knew she wasn’t the toughest of ponies, but …

“Yes,” Discord continued. “Why you’re so soft ponies could stuff pillows with you.” He burst with laughter at his own joke. “You’re so soft, Angel Bunny’s fur is jealous of you. Wait, wait…you’re so soft somepony could fall off of the tallest mountain in Equestria, land on you, and not feel a thing!”

As Discord laughed at his own joke, Fluttershy felt more confused than hurt by his teasing. Why did Discord pick now of all times to fixate on her softness?

“You know how I know you’re soft?” Discord asked playfully. “You’re the complete opposite of Tom.”

Tom? Who was…? Then she remembered. Tom was the name of the boulder that Rarity became enamored with the first time they dealt with discord. Just the memory of Rarity fawning over a big, dirty rock was so silly, she began to giggle into her hooves. Her giggles soon evolved into full laughter. Laughter! That was it! Discord wasn’t just picking on her for no reason. She peaked out from behind her hooves to a satisfied grin on his face. That confirmed it.

She wiped a laughter-induced tear from her eye. “Hey Discord, you know how I know you’re soft?”

“How?” he asked, surprised.

“You taste great with hot chocolate.” Fluttershy giggled into her hooves and Discord laughed too.

“Oh yeah?” Discord retorted with a hint of a playful challenge on his lips. “You know how I know you’re soft? Cloudsdale is made up entirely of you.”

“You know how I know you’re soft? For a sunny day, Rainbow Dash could clear you in ten seconds flat.”

“You know how I know you’re soft? You welled up when Angel Bunny chipped his tooth.”

“You know how I know you’re soft? You fixed Angel Bunny’s tooth.”

You know how I know you’re soft? You’re a vegetarian, but you still feel bad about eating the vegetables.”

“You know how I know you’re soft?”

“How? Because you’re so soft, you can sense how soft others are?”

“No, you have towels with your best friend’s name stitched in them.”

“You know how I know you’re soft? You use those towels to dry your tears.”

“You know how I know you’re soft? Rarity stuffs her coziest winter coats with you.”

“You know how I know you’re soft? Your cottage smells like ten different varieties of lavender.”

“You know how I know you’re soft? You know what ten different varieties of lavender smell like.”

“You know how I know you’re soft? You’re very good at articulating when your face is squished in a hug.”

“You know how I know you’re soft? You make me talk when you hug me.”

By this point they were both roaring with laughter as each statement got more and more ridiculous. Fluttershy was draped over her bed, holding her aching sides as she giggled. Discord was floating in midair, letting each laugh go loudly and freely.

“You know how I know you’re soft? Two words: herbivore teeth.”

“You know how I know you’re soft?” Fluttershy began, before she could think of a clever ending. She finished lamely with, “I don’t know, you’re just soft.”

“Oh my dear Fluttershy, and we were on a pretty good roll too,” Discord said. He seemed almost disappointed that their little game had ended.

“Oh, Discord…” Fluttershy lightly flapped her wings, raising her out of bed. She flew over to her friend and placed a gentle hoof on his shoulder. “You know how I know you’re soft? I think you started all of this silliness just to cheer me up.”

“Oh, I guess you’re right,” Discord said, feigning an expression of defeat. “I suppose that makes me the softest.”

“And you know what makes me soft?” Fluttershy continued. “I really appreciate you doing that for me.” She wrapped her hooves around his neck, giving him a warm hug. “It was really sweet of you. Thank you.”

“Yes, well…” Discord plucked Fluttershy off of his neck and held her at arm’s length in his claws/paws. He still wasn't that comfortable with hugging. “Now that you’re feeling better, how about we go skating?”

“Oh, I would like to a lot, but…” Fluttershy pointed a hoof to her bedroom window, “…it’s already gotten too dark.”

“Is that the only problem?” Discord plopped Fluttershy back on the bed. He snapped his lion paw and her window now showed a sunny spring day. “There, problem solved.”

“Discord!” Fluttershy gasped, frantically. “You have to put the moon back! Princess Celestia will be upset if…”

“Oh, don’t worry your pretty little head about her.” Discord hooked a claw through a pull string at the bottom of the window that Fluttershy hadn’t noticed before (or, perhaps it hadn't existed before). He tugged down on the string and released it. The whole scene outside her window rolled and flapped up like a blind. Both nighttime and winter were now back.

Fluttershy was glad her friend had, hopefully, avoided getting into trouble this time, but his face sported a glum expression. “Don’t worry. We can go ice skating first thing tomorrow. I promise.”

“Very well,” Discord sighed. “But, I’m going to hold you to that.”

“There’s no need for that. I’m looking forward to it.”

“Alright, I will see you tomorrow.” Discord gave her a small smile, but he still looked disappointed.

“Discord…” The draconequus already had a claw raised, apparently ready to snap himself out of the room. He paused to listen to his friend. Fluttershy continued, “It’s quite late. Would you like to sleep here tonight? That way we can have breakfast together before we go skating.”

“Hmm, well I’d hate to impose…” Discord said as he stretched his body so that it reached all the way across the room. “…but if you insist.”

Discord poofed himself up a bed right next to Fluttershy’s and lounged down on it. “Goodnight my dear little Fluttershy.”

“Good night Discord.” Fluttershy turned out the light and snuggled into her own bed. As she began to drift off, she realized something that brought a smile to her face. For the first time in years, she had someone to wake up to on the second day of winter.

Author's Note

This story is also posted on FanFiction.net under the same title using my account of the same name.