Regicide Squares

by Shakespearicles

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Thriller, Drama, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Violence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 14741

What do you do when the world is convinced that you've assassinated Princess Celestia?

After an urgent call to the castle, a snafu leads to a missing Celestia, and Twilight and Rainbow Dash caught (literally) red-hoofed in her royal chambers by the guards!

What do you do when the world is convinced that you've assassinated Princess Celestia?

You run! That's what you do.

You run your flank off!

Published 2014-03-29 18:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-31 22:21:48 UTC

In Medias Res

"COME ON TWILIGHT! THEY'RE GETTING CLOSER!" Rainbow Dash screamed at the struggling alicorn. Twilight's wings spasmed and jerked in total lack of coordination. The sound of hoof beats closed in. It sounded like all of an entire army was bearing down on them. "Come on Twi! Focus! Like we practiced!" Twilight took a couple of powerful flaps, getting her hooves off the ground. She gained a bit of height and edged closer to the edge of the city. Beyond was the cliff's edge, and the drop down the side of the mountain toward Ponyville. "There you go! Just like we practiced!" Dash said trying to keep the nervous edge from her voice as she kept an eye behind Twilight looking for danger. "Remember just don't look-"

Twilight's wings clamped shut in panic as she caught sight of the steep drop, she dropped and stumbled to the precarious edge. Their pursuers rounded the corner of the ally and began to bear down on them. There was no time left. Rainbow swooped in and grabbed Twilight, as the both took off into the evening sky. The ground forces skidded to a halt at the edge of the city wall, watching in vain as the two fugitives flew up into the sky. But their liberty would be short lived.

Rainbow felt her hooves getting wet. Twilight was crying. Well, her eyes were probably just watering, Rainbow thought. It happened sometimes to even her, when she flew too fast. And this was definitely the fastest that Twilight had ever gone. At least Rainbow hoped that was the reason...

On the ground the ones chasing the mares looked up, as the airborne division finally responded to the emergency call and flew overhead, making a bee line for the escapees. Rainbow Dash looked back over her shoulder at the oncoming attackers. The fastest flyer in Equestria she may be, but with the weight of a whole other pony slowing her down, she wouldn't be able to out-fly them forever. A plan rapidly coalesced in her mind. She pulled up into a steep climb. She would need as much altitude as possible for this to work. She flew harder than she had ever before. And Rainbow would only have one shot at this... Numbers crunched in the cyan pony's mind faster than Twilight would ever know.

But then, math was different for a Pegasus after all...

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_____________________________________________

"... and after we carry the coefficient through, via the transitive properties, the resultant parabolic arc would be what, class?" the teacher asked as her gaze scanned the room. A few hooves were readily in the air. Her eyes landed on the young, prismatic filly, once again staring idly out of the window, clearly not paying attention. "Miss Dash?"

Rainbow didn't even hear her name called. She watched the pegasi of Cloudsdale flying about in their day-to-day business. Just... flying. Free. And here she was trapped in this room, at this desk. It was maddening. She needed to fly. She needed to go fast.

"Miss Dash?" She asked again. The colt beside her nudged her shoulder, bringing her attention back to the class. The other foals were all staring at her now. "Miss Dash? What would the variable be in this parabola?"

"Pfft. I dunno. A number?" Rainbow Dash answered sarcastically, gaining a smattering of snickers from the other students.

"Miss Dash," The teacher began, trying to reach out to the misfit, "if you truly intend to become a member of the Wonderbolts, you need an understanding of mathematics to be an aerial acrobat. It is in everything from lift to thrust. From acceleration to velocity to inertial. It is vital that you understand these concepts if you ever hope to be an accomplished flyer!"

"No!" Dash snapped.

"No?" The teacher asked dubiously.

"No! It's in these!" Rainbow Dash spat, flaring her wings wide as she got up from her desk. The chromatic mare strutted out of the room. She was too cool to be stuck in there with a bunch of eggheads anyway, she decided.

And with that, Rainbow Dash quit flight school.
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________

Rainbow Dashes wings beat faster. The forward thrust she was generating was greater than the drag of the wind resistance pushing against her.
She accelerated forward.
The air passing over her wings moved faster than under her wings, creating a slight negative pressure. The force of the lift she generated was greater than the pull of gravity on her (and Twilight's) mass.
She gained altitude.
The angular momentum of her tail deflected air upwards, putting her into an upward parabolic arc.
She flew higher.

Of course, Rainbow Dash didn't actually think any of this. She just knew it. She felt it. She felt it in her feathers, her wings, her very bones. She was a Pegasus. She was born for this. She was born to fly.

The pressure rapidly changing made her ears pop with each pant for oxygen in the thinning air. Her mental altimeter whirred as she streaked ever higher. The others behind her were getting closer.

Two pegasi are flying in a parabolic arc. Pegasus X at a starting altitude of C, and moving with an accelerating velocity rate of V times T for time...

Rainbow could feel the air getting colder. Her lungs started to get that deep burn from exertion in the cold.

"The second, Y, starting behind them on the ground with an acceleration of A plus blah blahblah"

Dash glanced over her shoulder one last time. They would overtake them in a few more seconds. She could feel the ice forming on the tips of her wings.

"How long before Pegasus Y catches up to Pegasus X?... Anypony? Anypony? Rainbow Dash?... Rainbow Dash?

"Rainbow Dash?" Twilight gasped.

"I'm sorry Twilight." Dash said, as she felt her wings barely claw at the wisps of air around them.

"It's not your fault." Twilight wheezed.

"No, I don't mean for that." Dash said.

"What?" The purple mare asked, confused.

"This." Rainbow Dash said. And with a final, mighty heave of her tired wings and hooves, she tossed Twilight up as hard as she could.

"Rainbow!!!" Twilight screamed as she reached the apogee of her arc and started to accelerate to the ground.

The mental timer started in Rainbow's head.

At altitude C, a free falling object accelerates at a constant rate of...

"No time for that now!" Rainbow thought. She only had three minutes and seventeen seconds...

...from this altitude before a free falling object, with a given area of C with increasing wind resistance through the atmosphere, with ratio to velocity... ... how long until... collides with the ground?

"SHUT UP!" She cried out. She pulled into a tight turn.

[Listening to this link in another tab will only improve your reading experience.]

"I got one of them!" One of the guards said, grabbing Twilight as she fell. Dash recalculated her mental timer in three, two, one... She pulled herself into a tight ball, spinning forward into a tight roll and tucking her wings, propelling her hind legs forward into a kick. She may not have had the raw kicking strength of an earth pony like Applejack, but force still equaled mass times acceleration. And at the speed she was moving, his helmet was probably the only thing that kept his melon in one piece.

Her kick connected with a sickening crunch as the guard fell unconscious, tumbling in free fall. Twilight fell slightly slower as her panicked wings flared open again. The timer in Dash's head resumed.

"Two minutes and forty five seconds..." She thought without thinking. One of the guards flew to help their fallen comrade as he fell. 'Two down.' Dash thought. She worked out her maneuver in a fraction of a second. She rebounded off of her kick and went into a spear position, her forehooves outstretched. She made a straight line for the next guard in her way, winding up into a punch. The guard, trained in aerial combat, could easily read her telegraphed attack. He positioned himself, ready to parry and counter attack.

At the last possible second, she changed the angle of her wing, pulling into a tight twist. She blew past him, avoiding his counter. Her direct attack became, instead, a glancing blow at a very specific part of his anatomy. Her hoof gave his wing a crippling charlie-pony. With only one working wing, he fell into a fast, but controlled, downward decent. All that mattered was that he was removed from the equation.

Heh. Equation.

Dash didn't slow down for a second. She didn't have time to even appreciate the tactical genius of her feint. She had to keep going downward faster. Her primary feathers flexed, putting her into an aileron roll. Her wings flared open into a wider curve. She was moving so fast at this point she didn't even bother trying to strike the next guard. But then, she didn't need to.

Inverted, she reached out with an outstretched hoof, grabbing the plume of his helmet, yanking it from his head. The sudden acceleration of his head to one side caused his brain to concuss against the inside of his scull. Barely lucid, he was still wracked with a terrible headache. And Dash was now very far away. He clutched his head.

"The rest of the cavalry would stop her at least." He thought, taking comfort in the thought as he clutched his head.

Out of the corner of her eye, Dash watched Twilight flail as she fell. Her panicked wings bought them both precious seconds. The next two guards were ready for her. The first guards to catch up to them were lightly armored and without weapons. The others, more heavily encumbered, lagged behind. But she would have to deal with them next to keep up with Twilight.

As Dash pulled out of her roll, she could see the second of the duo leveling his spear at her. The one in front covered them each with his heavy shield. If she flew too wide laterally, she wouldn't be able to keep up with Twi. Too close and she would be a Dash-kebab. But if she was too too close...

This wouldn't be as graceful as her last move. This wouldn't be clean. It wouldn't even be fun. This was just going to hurt. She put her left shoulder forward and just braced for impact. She slammed into the shield, much to the surprise of all involved. Strong as he was, even the might of the royal sisters could not keep the shield from slamming back into his unprepared face, and the guard, backwards into the other. Dash ricocheted violently off of the shield, rolling forward with the stolen helmet in her right hoof, slamming the second guard upside his head with it. The hard contact of the metal-on-metal resonated with a deafening ring. The guard dropped his weapon and recoiled in aural agony. His spear tumbled from his hooves.

With the Mane Six having been doing most of the 'heavy lifting' in terms of saving, and keeping Equestria safe; and Shining Armor off being a prince in the Crystal Empire; the Royal Guard had grown quite figuratively fat and bored of late. The last two guards that were of any immediate threat moved to double-team her. Each were in a defensive stance if she were to try to hit the other. There was no way she was going to be able to get through this unscathed without losing Twilight.

Come on Twi! Flap! Dash cursed.

Beside her, the spear had finished tumbling, and gone into a position of least resistance, pointing downward. Her left hoof crippled from the shoulder down, Dash grabbed the spear with her teeth, and faced forward, bringing the staff into a horizontal bar. The two waiting for her below didn't even have time to react before they were both clothes-lined by the sideways staff of the spear. It snapped in two from the hit. Rainbow spat out the useless bits of wood.

She'd nearly caught up to Twilight. Her mind flashed back to that day at the Best Young Flyer's competition, and Rarity falling. She heard the roar of the sound of the wind rushing past her as she flew ever faster. 600 miles per hour, 650, 700! The sound of her decent faded as she started to outrun it. Five seconds to impact. 750 mph. Here it comes.

"Sorry Ponyville."

BOOM!

The concentric chromatic circles of the sonic Rainboom expanded away from the center of her flight path as she caught Twilight in her hooves at the last possible second, pulling up out of the steep dive. The G forces of the angular momentum made Twilight feel three, five, even seven times heavier than normal. Even now, she was unsure if she could pull out of the dive with the added weight. But it didn't matter to Rainbow Dash. Twilight was her friend. And her fate would be the same as hers.

The ground rushed up towards her. But Dash didn't let go. The acceleration force of pulling out of the dive caused Dash's vision to narrow into a tunnel as blood flow to her brain became impeded. But Dash didn't let go. The forces painfully crushed her lungs, further depriving her of life-giving oxygen. But Dash didn't let go. Her muscles screamed in agonizing pain at the weight she was holding. Tears streamed from her blinded eyes.

But Dash

didn't

let

go.

She was going to save Twilight or die trying. Blacked-out blind, Dash didn't stop flying until she steadily leveled out her flight path. She couldn't see the Rainboom tossing the remaining guards away like foals' toys. Neither could Twilight, her eyes clenched shut.

Once again moving in a straight line, the g-forces crushing her lungs relented, and Dash was able to breathe again. Finally able to compose a complete thought other than 'Ah! I'm falling!' Twilight did the second most sensible thing in that moment.

She panicked.

"AHHH!!!" She screamed.

Right in my ear! Dash cursed.

Twilight scrambled, only to be grabbed by Dash's hoof. She wrapped her hooves around the Pegasus, unwittingly grabbing her wings. You know, the very things keeping them aloft. The entwined pair plummeted toward the Everfree Forest treetops.

"Gah! Twilight! Let go!" Rainbow yelled as the ground rushed up toward them. "Do something!"

"AHHH!!!"

Seriously! Right in my bucking ear! "Other than screaming!" Dash's world slowed down. She'd crashed into trees before. It hurt. The branches, the cuts and bruises. Even still, she'd never been going this fast doing so. Welp, it looked like this cat's nine lives were up... Goodbye cruel wor-

FLASH

"OOF!" Rainbow grunted as she slammed into... something surprisingly soft. Then hard. Then hard again. Then soft for some reason. Then finally stopping at last on something hard. "Oh goodie." Dash opened her eyes. She took in the first few bits of vital information. Firstly, she was not dead. That was always a good start. Okay, one, not dead, check. Good. Next, she was... indoors?

Rainbow Dash looked around herself. She was in a room. A little filly's bedroom by the looks of it. The walls had a couple sizable, Rainbow-Dash-shaped dents in them. That was par for the course of her 'coming to' shtick. She looked up at the ceiling for her 'entry hole'. Nothing. Same with the walls and floor. Aside from the big dents, the room was more or less in tact.

"Ugh..." Came a groan from beside her. Up on the bed, a pair of lavender wings opened slowly as Twilight rolled over. Okay, Twilight was alive too. That was a bonus to not being dead herself, Rainbow decided. But it still didn't answer where they were.

"Who's in there!?" Shouted a voice from the other side of the door. "What's going on!?" Twilight's ears perked up reflexively.

"It's just me mom!" Twilight groaned loudly, barely conscious.

"Twilight?" Twilight's mom, Dash presumed.

"Yeah, I just... dropped in for the night... I just... sleepy... see you... morning..." Twilight trailed off.

"Oh, okay then. Goodnight deary." Dash heard hooves walking away on the other side. Her last clear thought. Her head slumped back as exhaustion overtook her.

Breakfast at Velvet's

The morning light streamed through the shear drapes of the window. Twilight turned over in her bed. It wasn't like her to want to sleep in. 'Early to bed, early to rise; makes a mare healthy, wealthy and wise.' The studious unicorn always said. She pressed her face into her pillow, shying away from the light. She still felt tired. She had not slept well at all. Terrible nightmares had visited her. Dreams of being chased down long dark alleyways by faceless pursuers. Visions of falling.

Twilight pulled her downy cover over her. It was warm. Fresh out of the dryer warm. It tickled her nose. She adjusted herself and pulled it closer. It went taught and pulled away. Twilight opened her eyes.

She was in her old room in her parents' house. Her cover was blue. And feathery. Beside her lay Rainbow Dash, her wing splayed out across Twilight. She looked so peaceful. Quite pretty even, as the morning sunlight lit up her prismatic mane.

But then it all came flooding back. She looked down at her red-stained hooves. Everything that had happened yesterday. And the bad dreams that were very very real.

"AHHH!" Twilight screamed, right in Dash's ear. Shocked from her own much-needed sleep, Rainbow Dash jerked awake, a rush of adrenalin causing her to nearly leap from the mattress. Her ears viscerally hurt from the proximity of the audio assault. Three things of note was one, the pain, two, the ringing, and three, the mare screaming beside her. Of course, this was all in a matter of a microsecond. Her response to the situation was predictable.

"AHHH!" Dash screamed.

"AHHH!" Twilight screamed back.

"AHHH! Dash screamed louder.

THUMP THUMP THUMP! Came knocking from the door.

"Twilight! What is going on in there!?" Her mother asked. Instant sobriety struck the purple mare, putting her hoof across the mouth of her surprise bed guest, pinning her to the mattress. Dash had a severe aversion to being restrained in any way. She wound up a hoof to knock Twilight off of her. Twilight caught her hoof with her magic and called out to her mom.

"It's okay mom!" Twilight called out. "Dash and I were just... having a a yelling contest." She said, glaring at the Pegasus.

"Dash?"

"Oh, yeah, uh, Rainbow Dash came over last night for a... sleepover?" Twi said, slowly letting herself off of Dash to let her speak.

"Uh, yeah!" Dash said. "We were just having a slumber party."

"Well it's too early in the morning for this kind of game!" Her mom said.

"Well, we're done now. Rainbow won. She always wins." Twilight said. Dash smirked.

"Well why don't you girls come on out and come downstairs. I'll be making breakfast shortly."

"Okay mom." They listened to her walk away and out of earshot.

"SERIOUSLY TWI! Right in my bucking ear!" Dash growled. "This is why I have tinnitus!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" Twilight apologized.

"How did we even get here?" Dash asked.

"I must have teleported us here last night. I tried to imagine a safe place, and I guess my old foalhood bedroom was the first place I could think of." She said as Dash looked out the window.

"We're back in Canterlot!?" She said, looking at the skyline against the morning light.

"Yeah."

"They're going to be scouring the city looking for us!" Dash said.

"I know! I know!" Twilight cried, clutching her head, trying to conjure a plan, an idea of any kind to get them out of this. The smell of cooking from downstairs wafted up. Her stomach growled. She looked over at Rainbow. "If we're going to be on the lamb, we should really eat something good first."

"Okay, fine. But then we really need to get out of here." She said as the both headed to the restroom to scrub the crimson stains from their hooves. Dash wiped her wet hooves on the towel, staining it red. "Dash? What the hell did you just do to her towel!?" Twilight scolded.

"What? I was drying my hooves!" Dash said.

"Well you're supposed to wash them first!"

"You watched me wash them!"

"I watched you get them wet."

"I was washing them! But this stuff is hard to get off! Maybe if she had some better soap..." She complained.

"I used the same soap you did! And when I finished, the towel didn't look like a maxi pad!" Twilight huffed. "Gimmie that." She grabbed the towel, soaking it in water and hitting it with a heat spell, steam cleaning it white.

"There, problem solved." Dash said, turning to leave the bathroom. Twilight wrapped the towel into a tight whip.

THWAP! Dash yelped at the contact, rubbing the whelp on her flank.

Breakfast was mostly uneventful. Her mother had prepared a sumptuous banquet. Flapjacks and hash browns and fruit salad. Her father sipped his coffee quietly, grumbling something about the daily paper not showing up that morning before heading off to his place of employment.

"Goodbye dear." Her mother said as he left the house. Once he was gone, her horn illuminated, pulling the newspaper from its hiding place in a nearby drawer. "Twilight, would you please care to explain what this is all about?" She said, sliding the front page across the table at them.

In bold letters, across the headline read, 'Celestia DEAD! Assassins caught red-hoofed; Still at large!' Followed by two stock photos of Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash. 'Wanted for Regicide: Dead or Alive!'

Twilight was still in shock. This paper was distributed to thousands of ponies all across Canterlot. Syndication would have copies circulating across all of Equestria within a day. In twenty four hours there would be no safe corner of the world for them to hide.

She didn't hear the knock at the door. "Royal guard!" Came the demanding voice from outside. Dash grabbed Twilight by the hoof and they both bolted upstairs. Once her daughter was out of sight, Twilight Velvet calmly walked to the door and opened it. Outside was a phalanx of three guards. Across the street, a similar detachment was checking the other houses.

"Ma'am, have you seen either of these individuals?" One of the guards asked curtly, holding up his own copy of the 'wanted' poster.

"Oh my goodness!" Velvet feigned. "The princess? No!" She cried. "No officer, I haven't seen either of them. But do catch them quickly!"

"We will ma'am. You can rest assured of that. Every guard from here to Las Pegasus will be on search patrol for them!"

"Thank you." Velvet said.

"You two," The ranking officer barked, "go check the next house. I want to ask this one a few more questions."

"YES SIR." The both obeyed and moved on. The remaining guard leaned in close, eyeing the the mare inside the doorway. He looked past her at the kitchen table. Four plates.

"The other two may not be able to tell when you're lying. But I can!" He said quietly. "Now I'm going to ask you again. Have you seen them?"

"No. Officer." She said flatly.

"Mom," Shining Armor whispered closely, "Twilight is in a LOT of danger right now." I need to take her in. It won't just be the guard. There will be others looking to collect the reward-"

"Reward?"

"Princess Luna is going to issue one this afternoon if we don't find them. There will be bounty hunters. And they may not be so kind to stay their weapons. I can protect her, but only if you and she cooperates now."

"And I will tell you again, OFFICER, I have not seen them."

"Twilight!?" He shouted into the house.

"Shame on you Shining. Do you really think your sister so foolish to come HERE of all places? The first place you'd look? Give her more credit than that. And if you wish to continue this investigation, I suggest you get a warrant." And with that, she slammed the door closed.

Twilight peeked from the top of the stairs. Her mom didn't move. She stood there, staring at the door, waiting motionless for the sound of Shining to walk away from her stoop. Once she was sure he was gone. She turned around slowly, and stood at the foot of the stairs and looked right where she knew Twilight would be.

When the cookies were missing from the jar, she stood at the foot of the stairs and looked right where she knew Twilight would be. Peeking from around the corner at the top of the stairs.

When the vase was found broken, she stood at the foot of the stairs and looked right where she knew Twilight would be. Peeking from around the corner at the top of the stairs.

She had just lied to the police for her daughter. She stood at the foot of the stairs and looked right where she knew Twilight would be. Peeking from around the corner at the top of the stairs.

"Twilight, you know that there is nothing I would not do for you." She said quietly. "If you have the Princess's body up there in your bedroom, you had better tell me right now so I can help you bury it." Twilight just shook her head. "I just lied to the police for you. So you better not lie to me." She looked her in the eyes. "Did you do it?" Twilight shook her head. "Did she?" She asked, motioning to the Pegasus behind her. They both shook their heads 'no'.

Twilight Velvet sighed. "You two need to come down here and tell me EXACTLY what happened. And then I suggest you get as far away from here as possible. I have no doubt that Shining will call my bluff and return with a warrant, so speak quickly."

"Well, here's what happened..." Twilight began.

"That doesn't make sense." Her mother said at the conclusion of Twilight's explanation. It only raised more questions than it answered. "So what are you going to do now?"

"We need to gather evidence to support our innocence." Twilight said. "And we need to find out what really happened to Princess Celestia."

"In the meantime, you need to lay low." Her mother advised. "It's too dangerous to move now. You'd best wait until nightfall."

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That evening, Shining stood outside the door to his foalhood home. He looked down at the paper in his hooves. 'Warrant to search by royal decree'. The sun slipped below the horizon. Luna was doing a decent job keeping the sun on it's path. He crumpled the paper in his hoof and stuffed it in his bag. 'She wasn't safe.' He reasoned. The announcement for the reward had gone out. Opportunists would descend on this house if he didn't officially declare it cleared first. He looked to his troops behind him.

"Stay your weapons. We want them ALIVE, is that understood?" He commanded. He knocked on the door. "Mrs. Sparkle?" He addressed his own mother. "We have a warrant to search this premises. Open the door or else we will break it down!" After a moment, the door glowed faintly of light purple. Inside, Twilight Velvet, his mother, sat calmly at the kitchen table doing a crossword puzzle. "Ma'am, by royal authority we will now search this dwelling." Shining recited in an official tone. "Please do not interfere or else you will be detained as a suspect."

She didn't even look at him. "Just do what you came here to do."

"Spread out." He ordered. The other guards began going through the home, checking the rooms. "Leave no stone unturned." Guards moved through the home, opening doors, checking cupboards, under beds, behind dressers. They made an awful mess of things. At the end of the hallway was a tiny, unassuming supply closet. It was Twilight's favorite hiding spot as a foal. As he closed in, he heard the slightest of a rustle inside. Bingo! He had found them. "Well, Mrs. Sparkle," He announced his presence loudly. The last thing he needed was surprised Twilight slamming him with a kinetic spell. "I wonder what you have in your supply closet?"

"SUPPLIES MOTHERBUCKER!" Dash yelled.

WHACK!

He had prepared for Twilight to hit him with some kind of magical attack. What he was not prepared for was Rainbow Dash slamming him in the horn with a broom handle. Twilight had tried to explain to her that blunt trauma to a unicorn's horn was just about the worse pain there was for them. And she explicitly instructed her to NOT do any such thing.

"Dash! What the hell!?" Twilight yelled.

"RUN!" Dash screamed at her. They both booked it up the stairs. Guards were in Twilight's bedroom. Dash took an abrupt turn through the bathroom door with Twilight in tow. Not through the bathroom doorway, mind you. Through the DOOR. Inside, one of the guards had taken the liberty of using the facilities. Dash knocked him over as she sprinted past, through the glass window. Twilight faltered, nearly tumbling two stories to the street below. Rainbow grabbed her and saved her from falling to her death for the second time in as many days.

"For buck sake's Twilight! You have wings! Use them!" Dash yelled. Twilight struggled to gain any lift.

"I- I can't!" She cried as she struggled in the air. Shouts rang out in the street below. Pegasi guards took off after them. Rainbow Dash swooped down and grabbed Twilight in her hooves. Dash didn't have the takeoff speed that she needed. And there were many more pegasi after her now.

"Twi get us out of here!"

"But where-"

"ANYWHERE BUT HERE!"

-FLASH-

Sororal Vengence

Being hastily teleported by Twilight Sparkle always left Rainbow Dash temporarily blinded by the light. The spots in Rainbow's eyes faded slowly, replaced instead with the spots of a fur pattern. A leopard! She'd read about the carnivores in Daring Do. The cyan mare jumped at the startling realization, tripping into Twilight beside her.

"Twilight! Look out!" Dash yelled, still half blind. "It's a jungle cat!" Twilight tried to calm her panicked friend.

"Rainbow! It's okay. Look!" She said. Dash slowed down and looked around them. They hadn't actually landed on top of a leopard, but rather, a leopard print bedspread. "We're in Zecora's hut." Twilight filled her in.

"What are we doing here?" She asked.

"It's the last place they'd look for us." Twilight said. "We should be safe here until we can figure out what to do next."

"Which is?" Dash asked impatiently. Twilight thought for a moment.

"We need to go to my library in Ponyville." She said at last.

"What!? Are you crazy? That place is going to be swarming with guards!" Dash said, incredulously.

"Right now it is. Which is why we're going to wait until tonight." She said.

"But, but why?" She asked.

"Evidence vital to clearing out names is there. We have to get it. Or else we'll be on the run for the rest of our lives." Twilight explained.

"So what do we do until then?"

"We just stay here and lay low."

"Actually, I have a better idea." Dash said, taking Twilight's hoof and leading her outside.
________________________________________________________________________

In mid air, Twilight struggled to maintain her height off the ground. "You gotta really flap 'em hard!" Rainbow Dash instructed beside her. Twilight gave a quick burst of energy, flapping her wings wildly, as fast and as hard as she could. But the more effort she put into sheer flapping, the more she lost her focus on control and balance.

Before she even had time to react, Twilight spun out of control and crashed into a nearby tree. "Ooh, maybe not quite that hard." Dash consoled her. It was bizarre trying to teach how to fly to another pony. It was an act that came so naturally to her. It was like trying to teach a foal to walk. It took every ounce of her strength to keep from shouting 'just do it'!

After another failed attempt, Twilight careens into the ground, leaving a pony-shaped dent in the soft earth. "I just don't know what went wrong." She lamented. Even Rainbow Dash was perplexed.

"I don't get it." She mused. "Your form isn't great, but it should be good enough to at least keep you aloft." Twilight frowned. "Is it your wings?" She asked.

Twilight looked at her strangely. "Well, they are sore."

"I'm just asking because they aren't exactly... natural." She said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's just that I know about Pegasus wings." Dash explained. "I don't know if alicorn wings work differently or what. Magic isn't exactly my thing. We could ask Zecora when she gets back." She suggested. "Which should be soon since it's starting to get dark. And I don't think anypony would want to be out in the Everfree at night. Not even her." The two headed back inside Zecora's hut.

"I just don't know what else it could be." Dash continued once they were inside. "Let me look at your wings." She suggested. Twilight settled on the leopard print bed and splayed her wings out. "WHOA!"

"What? What is it!?" Twilight asked nervously.

"Twi, when was the last time you preened these things?" Dash asked, astonished.

"Preened?" Twi asked ignorantly.

"Yeah Twi! You've had these wings for over two months now. You have to preen them or else, well, look!" Dash said, pointing at all the misaligned and broken feathers. "You see? You have to preen out these old feathers so that new healthy ones can grow in and replace them. It's a huge part of maintaining healthy wings!"

"I- I didn't know." Twi said. "Princess Celestia never explained that stuff to me." She said, somewhat embarrassed that she hadn't researched such a thing herself.

"Well, it's not really something you would have to read about." Dash explained. "Pegasi just sort of... know. It's one of those things that mothers teach their foals. But since your mother wasn't a Pegasus... OH MY GOSH!"

"What? What is it now!" Twi asked again.

"I think I just figured out why Scootaloo can't fly well either." Dash said, smacking herself on the forehead.

"Oh, right, the whole orphan thing." Twi said.

"But anyways, once you preen your wings, it should be a lot easier for you to fly." Dash said. "So while you do that, I'll be in the other room." She said, about to get up and leave her to the task.

"Wait, Dash?"

"Hmm?"

"Could you show me how?" Twi asked. Rainbow Dash blushed intensely. Did she really just ask her to..? No, of course not. She just didn't understand. But she wasn't raised as a Pegasus. How could she possibly know what she was accidentally implying. But Rainbow Dash understood perfectly well.

In Pegasus society, preening was an incredibly intimate act. It was taught by parent to foal Pegasus, and then done in private from then on. Preening together was an act reserved for intimate lovers. But Twilight didn't know that. How could she? She was just an innocent filly with new wings. She knew no more about it than a newborn foal Pegasus just learning to fly. And somepony had to teach her...

"Um... okay. Here I'll show you." Dash said, trying to hide her nervousness. She opened her wing wide toward Twilight to show her. Dash preened very regularly. She had to in order to stay in top flying condition. Her feathers were flawless. But Dash went through the motions slowly as Twilight watched.

"Okay, now watch. You go to each feather with your mouth and give it a little tug. If it comes out, a new one will grow in. If it doesn't, then it's still good." Dash explained, quickly pretending to preen before putting her wings away. That wasn't so bad. She watched Twilight try. She bit one of her own purple feathers and pulled it out.

"OW!" She yelped as it came free. A tiny drop of blood formed at the site of the removal. Dash cringed.

"Um, Twi? I think that one was still good. Try again." She coached. Twilight moved down the line, testing a few more.

"OUCH!" She cried again, having pulled too hard on another good feather. She huffed. There were still dozens upon dozens more to go and she'd already hurt herself twice. And the weird angle was making her neck hurt. "Rainbow, can you do it for me?" Rainbow Dash's jaw nearly hit the floor. There was no way she could do that with her friend. Even mothers didn't do that to their foals. It just wasn't done. It was as though Twilight had just asked her to join her in the shower.

"Uhh, I don't think so Twilight. I- I really think you should just keep practicing." Dash said, trying to defuse things.

"Please?" Twilight pleaded. "My neck hurts and I don't want to do it wrong when I'll need them the most tonight." Her purple eyes looked back at Rainbow behind her.

She doesn't understand. Dash kept mentally repeating to herself. It won't mean anything. And she did look like she was in a lot of distress. And her wings did need a lot of work.

"Um... okay." Dash resigned. "But just this once." Twilight faced forward and rested her head on the pillow, spreading her tired wings out. Rainbow Dash carefully crawled up beside her and ever so gently began to preen one of her purple wings. She focused on the clinical, mechanical nature of the act, trying her best to keep her emotions out of the equation. Twilight wasn't making it easy for her. The first wing went smoothly enough. But as Dash leaned across her back to start the other wing, She felt her own wings growing stiff.

Twilight hadn't realized how uncomfortable her wings had become. As Dash cleaned out all the errant feathers, it was like scratching an itch she didn't even realize she had. It felt wonderful. Rainbow on top of her felt so warm on her back. She just felt... safe, under the pony's embrace. She knew that her friend would never let anything bad happen to her as long as she could prevent it. She was such a good friend.

Her good friend was making her feel sooo good...

Dash could feel Twilight's wings growing involuntarily tense. She knew what it meant. And she knew she should stop because of it. Because a pony's wings were actually a sensitive erogenous zone. Under her, Twilight muffled a moan. Dash could tell that Twi was certainly enjoying it. And, as much as Dash was trying not to admit it...

She was too.

In those hoofull of minutes together, they'd forgotten all about their problems, their worries...

"Do I spy with my little eye,"

...their location.

"a pair of preening pegasi?" Zecora asked.

Dashed jumped up at the voice. She struggled to get her own wings under control. Twilight jumped off the bed as well. She regreted that Zecora had to find her, well, them on it when she came home from what looked to be collecting mushrooms.

"Zecora! You're home!" Twilight said happily. Her wings were embarrassingly stiff, but she was oblivious to it. Rainbow was embarrassed enough for both of them. "Sorry that we let ourselves in, but we needed to hide for a while. It's uh... kind of a long story."

"My home is open to any Equestrian. But I never knew you were a le-"

"Actually" Rainbow Dash cut Zecora off, "We were just about to get going ourselves. We have a... thing to get to. Tonight. Right Twilight?"

"Oh, that's right." Twilight remembered. "We do have to get going." As the sky grew darker. Rainbow Dash took off into the air. Twilight flapped her own wings. It didn't make sense, with less feathers. But it really felt a lot easier. Her climb in altitude was smoother. Before she knew it she was right beside Rainbow.

"See? What'd I tell ya?" Dash said smugly.

"Thanks Dash." She said. "Come on, we need to get to Ponyville."
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

"How does it look down there?" Twilight whispered. She was crouched beside Dash on a high cirrus cloud. Below them was the Golden Oaks Library, Twilight's residence. Or former residence. Above it were a couple of cumulus clouds, each stationed by a Pegasus guard.

"I see two Pegasus guards above it. I won't know how many are inside until we can get closer." Dash reported.

"And just how are we going to do that?" Twilight asked.

"We need to take out the guards. But I can't get both without one of them raising the alarm. I need you to get the other."

"But how? I don't know anything about this sort of stuff."

"Put your hoof on your neck." Dash instructed. Twilight didn't know what she was getting at but did as was told. She put her hoof to her throat. "Okay, you feel the wide windpipe in the front? That's the handle. Beside it is a smaller tube. It's the carotid artery. That's the button. You wrap your hoof around their neck, grab the handle and push the button."

"Gh- agh aughck!"

"Let go of your neck Twilight."
_________________________

"Okay. On three." Dash mouthed silently. "One, two-"

The pair leaped from the cloud in perfect synchronization. Grab the handle. Push the button. Twilight recited in her mind as she plummeted. In an instant, they were both upon their respective targets. Before either of the weary guards had a second to react, Dash had already subdued hers. Twilight struggled for a moment. She had the element of surprise and the impact from her fall working for her. He tried to shake her loose, but she kept pressing the button until he fell unconscious.

Twilight felt him fall asleep under her. After a second, Dash was at her side. "Good, now give his head a quick twist."

"What will that do?" She asked nervously.

"It'll... make him sleep longer?" Dash offered the naive unicorn.

"We don't need long. Come on!" Twi said as she flew down to her balcony window. She looked around inside. "We might be in luck. I don't see anypony inside."

"If the plan is going well, it's probably an ambush." Dash muttered to herself. Twilight slowly opened the window as they silently slipped inside. Twilight was nearly in tears. Her entire home had been ripped apart and turned upside down. The guards had completely ransacked the place looking for clues to her whereabouts.

"My home..." She whimpered. Dash put her hoof around her and pulled her close.

"It's going to be okay." She lied. "We're gonna come back after we sort this out and... sort this out. Together." She looked in her eyes. There was something there in those eyes that she hadn't seen before. Whatever it was, it made her really want to believe that everything really was going to be okay. Their faces were mere inches apart. She leaned in closer, pursing her lips slightly...

"Spike!" Twilight said, suddenly shaken from her daze."He would have it!"

"Um, what?" Dash asked, still in la-la land.

"He would have the evidence we need. Where is he? SPIKE!" Twilight ran around, checking down in her basement, up in her loft at his bed.

"Twi! He's not here. Why would he be?" Dash said. "The place is a disaster."

"Where would he have gone!?" Twi asked. The ground began to shake. The whole tree shuddered as the top half began to be ripped away. Splinters cracked and timber tumbled as a blue aura engulfed the ceiling and it tore away into the sky. Above them the moon shown brightly into the dim room. A shadowy face crept across it.

"I SEE YOU!"

Twilight and Dash bolted out of the front door. She felt the tingling sensation run down her spine.

"Dammit! How could I have been so foolish!" She yelled as the pair sprinted through the alleys of Ponyville.

"What?"

"There was a warding spell on the library to signal if anypony entered it!" She yelled. "Why didn't I check!?" She glanced over her shoulder. A shooting star was streaking across the sky. It would be upon them in seconds. She looked where she was going just in time to crash into the Carousel Boutique. She tumbled inside, with Dash right behind her. Rarity came running downstairs.

"What in pony's name is going on- Twilight? Dashie?"

BOOM!

The impact of Luna's arrival outside was seismic. In an act of quick thinking, Twilight slammed Rarity with a spell that could only be done with another unicorn, linking their horns, and thus, their minds. The world around them slowed to a halt.

Rarity, what happened? Where is Spike?

Darling! Are you okay? I saw the posters all over the town! Is it true? Say it isn't so!

It isn't so! It's all a big misunderstanding! I need to talk to Spike.

Spike?

He has the evidence I need to clear our names.

I'm so sorry! He was questioned along with the rest of us. But without you to look over him, he was taken into custody to the castle.

Okay. Hold on.

The entire conversation took place in a mere fillysecond. As the spell released, the world spun up to normal speed around them. It never really slowed down. The spell just let the pair think very quickly for an instant.

The door, and a sizable section of the wall around it was torn away from the structure. An imposing figure stepped into the gap. Her armor gleamed in the moonlight. Twilight scooted away backwards. Alicorn herself or not, she didn't have the skill or even the raw power to go hoof to hoof with a veteran Alicorn like Princess Luna.

Twilight charged up her horn.

Just Desserts

Princess Luna stood in the hole she'd smashed into the boutique. She stared at the two ponies inside she'd been chasing for the last two days and nights. They would not escape her grasp again. In an instant, she cast a disabling shot at Rainbow Dash. But Twilight was there in a flash, placing herself between Rainbow Dash and the incoming spell attack.

"Twilight!" Dash cried out.

Twilight's arcane shield was up immediately. The spell crashed into the magical membrane, sending iridescent ripples across its surface, showering the room in sparks. Twilight countered with a stun spell of her own. Just because she was accused of regicide, didn't mean she wanted it to be true. She needed to stall the Princess, not kill her, so they could escape.

The spell glanced off of Luna's enchanted armor. It was a stalemate. Then Luna saw her window of opportunity. Before Twilight could react, Luna seized Rarity with her magical grasp and took her hostage.

"Stand down! Or the white one gets it!" Luna bellowed.

"What what what!" Rarity panicked and squirmed. She was the queen of her craft when it came to fine, dexterous magic. But a combat mage, she was not.

"Rarity!" Twilight called out. "Is Tom here?" Rarity's embarrassed blush and nervous glance told Twilight everything she needed to know. Twilight reached out with her magic. "Look out," Rarity knew what was coming next and made herself as small as possible. Luna certainly had more raw magical power than Twilight, as well as millennia more experience using it. But Twilight found that really experienced mages often had a one track mind when it came to combat. They only think in magic.

"HERE COMES TOM!" Twilight shouted. The hefty boulder came careening through the wall, slamming into a very surprised Luna, missing Rarity with the precision of a surgeon. Magical armor was for magical attacks. It might as well have been tinfoil against a physical hit like that. Tom and Luna were propelled together through the adjacent wall.

The magical grasp on Rarity vanished as she dropped to the floor. The boutique around her was staring to look like Swiss cheese. The structure creaked and groaned. The three of them ran outside as the building collapsed behind them on top of Luna. A cursory scan of her life signs told Twilight two things: One, the princess was still alive. And two, she was pissed.

"Rarity! Run!" Twilight shouted as she and Rainbow Dash took off into the sky.

"But, but where!?" Twilight's horn glowed and Rarity vanished in a flash. She teleported the fashionista to the last place Luna would ever think to look. Twilight and Dash flew away as fast as they could. It was faster than Twilight had ever flown before, but it was coming easier to her now. By the time Luna crawled from the rubble, they were nowhere to be seen.

Rarity sat up in bed, startled. It had all just been a dream. A terrible dream. Princess Luna wasn't really trying to kill her. Her boutique hadn't actually been destroyed. She was in her bed the whole time.

"Howdy sugar cube." Applejack said in bed beside her. "I think it's mighty forward of you to just show up in my bed at this hour, but I won't object." She said, wrapping her orange hoof around her, pulling her close to her back under the covers.

"Twilight!" Rarity cursed.

"Naw, it's me, Applejack. But you can call me whatever you like tonight!"
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________

"Twilight, I think we're going the wrong way!" Rainbow Dash said.

"No, we're not."

"But we're headed back toward Canterlot!"

"We have to get Spike! He's the only one who can help save us now!" Twilight said.

"What? We just barely escaped from Canterlot! And now you want to go back? Into the lion's den!?" Dash yelled. Twilight heard her perfectly well. But she just stared straight ahead. Canterlot Castle glittered in the distance. They had to get inside somehow. Spike would have the letter they needed to clear their name. She had thought it through so many times. She could think of no other way. It had to be this. She looked at Dash, flying beside her.

"Yes." She said, barely over the sound of the wind rushing past them. "Dash, I'll understand if you don't want any part of this. You can go and hide somewhere else If you want. I'll do this on my own if-"

"No way Twi!" Dash said immediately. "I'm going wherever you are. I'm not leaving your side." Twilight couldn't tell if it was just the cold on her cheeks, but she could have sworn she saw Dash blushing.

"Thank you Rainbow."
___________________

Under the cover of darkness, Twilight and Rainbow Dash slipped into the alleys of Canterlot streets. It was as close as they could get to the castle without risking unnecessary detection. Twilight lifted the cover to the sewer.

"Gah!" Dash backed away. The smell was terrible. She was silently grateful that she hadn't eaten anything since Twilight's mom's house. "What are we doing?"

"My brother and I used to go exploring through the old sewers and utility network under the city. And if I can remember correctly, we should be able to get inside the castle perimeter this way." She said before dropping down into hole. "Come on!" She yelled from below. "Into the sewer drain, Fly-girl!"

"Ugh. I've got a bad feeling about this." Dash said, as she climbed down and pulled the cover back over herself. Down in the sewer they were both up to their hocks in unspeakable. "HRGH" Dash gagged. Twilight called a light spell to her horn. Seeing what they were wading through just made it worse. "You and your brother used to do this? For FUN!?" Even Twilight was cringing.

"Well, it wasn't so bad where we were, and closer to the castle. We're a bit downhill from there, so it only stands to reason that-"

"That we get going to higher ground as soon as possible!" Dash huffed. The pair wasted no time, heading east through the waste system. Dash wanted so badly to fly above the horrible stew. But her wings were already covered in filth. The thought of flapping them in such close quarters terrified her. And there really was no room. Dash waded past a suspiciously cylindrical latex bag, giving it a wide berth.

Just as Twilight promised, the levels of sewage lowered as they headed uphill. "Okay! Here! Just up ahead!" Twilight said, excited. "I know where we are now." Dash followed closely behind her, happy to have her hooves on dry footing once again. They were at a major junction. Several smaller service pipes ran overhead. Twilight opened the valve to one of them. Clean water poured out, Twilight stepped underneath and washed her fur off. Dash watched as Twilight cleaned the filth from her mane. Finally clean, her wet mane and tail was slick against her head, neck and flank. It was a good look for her. Dash felt specks hit the back of her neck as her wings pomfed open.

"Dash, are you coming?" Twilight asked. Dash was shocked at first as she misunderstood the phrasing. "Come on, rinse off." She invited. Dash cleared the thought from her mind, and stepped in under the water with her. The cold water help her wings to relax. That is until Twilight started to clean her rainbow tail. Dash looked back to see Twilight scrubbing with her magic. She looked up at Rainbow looking at her. "Sorry, just trying to help speed things along." She blushed, realizing the intimacy of her intrusion.

"Um, no. It's okay. It feels nice." Dash admitted. "Um, I mean, you're doing a nice job." She focused on cleaning her mane and wings as Twilight worked out the last bits of mess from her colorful tail, giving it gentle tugs in just the right way... Twilight turned off the water. Far too soon, Dash felt. She was really doing a great job of making her feel good. Er, getting her clean, she meant.

"Okay, we should be somewhere under the Canterlot dungeon." Twilight said.

"Whoa! Canterlot castle has a dungeon?" Dash asked.

"It has a dungeon. A torture chamber. Gallows. None have been in use for centuries. But with Celestia gone and Luna in charge now... well, she is a bit more... traditional. And what you and I don't know about Canterlot, I could just about squeeze into Ghastly Gorge." Twilight said. Dash gulped. "I think we're here. Spike should be in one of the cells above us. And since they probably didn't search him, he should have the letter in his pocket."

"Wait, Spike has pockets?"

"Shh!" Twilight hushed. "I think I hear someone!"

Above them, a small sad voice sang into the darkness.

Nopony knows the trouble I've seen
Nobody knows but Twilight
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Glory, Celestia...

"Spike!" Twilight called from under the tiny drain in the floor.

"Oh great, now I'm hearing voices." Spike groaned.

"Spike! Down here!" Twilight said. Spike ran over to the drain, looking down through the tiny slits.

"Twilight? Is that really you?"

"No, it's the ninja turtles!" Dash said.

"Who?" Spike asked.

"You're too young to remember." Twilight said. "Stand back, I'm gonna teleport us up there." In a flash, Twilight and Rainbow Dash appeared outside of Spike's cell. After a bit of magical manipulation, Twilight turned the tumbles of the lock, opening the door to his cell. "Spike, do you still have the letter that Princess Celestia sent me two days ago?"

"What? Oh yeah! I completely forgot that I had it!" He took the letter from his pocket and handed it to Twilight. She re-read it quickly.

"HA! This is perfect! This will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that we're innocent!" Twilight said. "Come on, let's get you out of here and get this evidence to the authorities."

Twilight walked to the dungeon's exit to push the door open. "Twilight wait!" Spike yelled. But it was too late. The magical ward on the door discharged, sending the hapless unicorn reeling across the room. It badly burned her hoof, and worse still, the letter that was in it. Rainbow Dash stood in terror over Twilight's unconscious body as the alarm rang out. She was still breathing, which was good. But a sizable contingent of royal guards came running down the stairs, which was bad. Rainbow Dash took a fighter's stance between Twilight and the coming guards. She wouldn't dare let them get to her. Even if she had to fight off all of Canterlot. Which, by the sound of it, was surely on its way...

"You won't touch her." She growled.
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________

Nopony knows
the trouble I've seen.
Nopony knows but-

"Twilight!"

Twilight opened her eyes slowly. She was on the floor. It was stone cold. Which made sense, since it was stone. As her vision came into focus, she could see she was back inside of a dungeon cell. Her hoof was badly burned, the fur singed black. Across the hall was Spike, back inside of his. This was easily remedied. She stood up and pried the bars open with her magic.

"OW!" Twilight yelled. Trying to use magic hurt something fierce.

"Twilight! Don't try to use magic! They put a ring on your horn." Spike said. Twilight's eyes crossed as she looked up at her own horn, suddenly becoming very aware of her own head. Indeed they had put a magic-restricting ring on her horn while she was unconscious. Further, it was attached to the equivalent of a strapped muzzle for her horn, ensuring she couldn't shake, or work it off with her hooves. They didn't take any chances with unicorn prisoners it seemed. Pegasi on the other hoof...

"Oh my gosh! Rainbow!" Twilight cried, looking through the bars at the cell adjacent to hers. Rainbow Dash laid in a heap in the corner of her cell. She looked dead if not for the gentle rise and fall of her chest. Her fur was stained brown with blotches of dried blood and one of her wings was bent in a very unnatural way. Her two front hooves were bumpy and likely very bruised beneath her fur. One of her eyes was swollen shut. Twilight openly sobbed as she reached through the bars, trying to touch her. But she was just barely out of reach. "Dashie! Please wake up!" She cried out.

"She put up a hell of a fight." Spike said, sitting across the hallway. "She took out at least a half dozen of 'em. But eventually they just overpowered her." He motioned to the blood spatters in the hallway.

"You should see the other guy." Dash coughed, spitting fresh red.

"Rainbow Dash!" Twilight called out, elated. "You're okay!"

"That might be a bit over-doing it there Twi." Dash groaned as she crawled across the floor on her elbows, leaning against the bars she shared with Twilight. Twilight reached through the bars, wrapping her hooves around Rainbow Dash, hugging her tight as she wept into her Rainbow mane.

"Easy Twi. I think one of 'em broke a couple of my ribs." Dash moaned. Twi tried not to squeeze so hard. Dash looked down at one of the hooves holding her. It was badly scorched. She took it in her own bruised hooves and kissed the boo boo, like she remembered her mother doing. "Are you okay Twilight? I saw you get zapped. It looked like it hurt."

"Speak for yourself." Twilight laughed briefly between sobs.

"Nah, I'll just walk it off." Dash chuckled, immediately regretting doing so, feeling the sharp pain of her ribs.

"Hey Rainbow, I found one of your teeth." Spike said, tossing the small bicuspid to the Pegasus. Dash picked it up and put it in her mouth, trying to work it back into place before spitting it back out.

"Meh, not mine." She sighed.

"Rainbow, do you think you can get this thing off my horn?" Twilight asked. Dash turned around and looked at the harness on Twilight's head. The straps looked simple enough.

"Sure thing Twi. Give it here." She said. Twilight put her head against the bars, sticking her horn through. Dash had used her teeth numerous times to get the caps off of cider bottles. This would be easy. She took her horn into her mouth and grabbed hold of the ring, giving it a good pull. But the straps held firm.Twilight squirmed underneath her.

Dash reached deeper, trying to chew through the straps themselves. Twilight began to sweat. Dash didn't understand. How could she? She wasn't a unicorn. But for unicorns, the horn was a very sensitive place. The degree the Rainbow Dash was stimulating hers was bordering on obscene. She couldn't see, but she hoped Spike wasn't watching. She shuddered as she felt Rainbow try to re-position the harness with her tongue.

"Ngh!" Twilight groaned. Dash suddenly felt her lips and tongue go numb. It felt like she had just licked a nine volt battery. Twilight collapsed as her knees gave out.

"Laow, leelee?" Dash tried to say with limited motor control of her mouth, realizing what it was she had just done. "I dunno Lielight, ith leelee stong. Ith lie Nythril uh sunthin."

Twilight could barely hear her though her euphoria. As she calmed down she returned to rational thought. Dash slowly regained feeling in her face. "Dash, I uh... That's never happened to me before. But, could you try again? I doubt it's actually Mythril. If we can get this off, we could make a run for it!"

Dash turned back around, slumping with her back against the bars again. "I dunno Twi." She groaned, looking at her likely-broken hooves. "I don't think I'm gonna be doing much running anytime soon." She tried to close her broken wing without success. "Or flying."

"I could teleport us out of here." Twilight hoped in vain.

"No. I think-" Dash yawned. "I think I'm just gonna close my eyes for a minute. But you go ahead and *yaaawn* teleportal er whatev." She closed her eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere without you." Twilight said, holding Dash through the bars again.

"Okay. Wake me up when we're not in Canterlot anymore." Dash whispered. Twilight held her close. She started to cry.

She felt Rainbow Dash stopped breathing in her hooves.

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

"RAINBOW!" Twilight screamed. Rainbow Dash coughed and gasped.

"GAH! What the hell!" Dash yelled back. "Right in my ear! Again!"

"Oh my gosh!" Twilight cried. "You're alive!"

"No kidding!" Dash said, rubbing her ear. "But now I have a wicked headache!"

"You stopped breathing!" Twilight said, tears still running down her cheeks.

"What?"

"You stopped breathing! I thought you died!" Twilight cried.

"What? No, I have sleep apnea. So, it happens sometimes." Dash explained. Twilight hugged her harder. "OW! Again, ribs!" Twilight didn't listen. It was already quite late. Spike was snoring in the cell across the hall. Twilight sat there, and felt Dash's mane through the bars against her face. She felt a little better. She looked at the tick marks scratched on the wall of her cell. It was a reminder that they would have plenty of time to figure something out later. They both relaxed, Dash drifting off to sleep again in her hooves. Twilight dozed off shortly after.
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________

The morning light streamed through the small, barred window. Dash awoke to the feeling of being strangled. A guard pony was putting a heavy collar on her, attached to a chain. Twilight was already being led out of the cell block by her own collar.

"Get away from her!" Dash growled, glaring at him with her one good eye. Another guard leveled a spear at her throat.

"Dash, don't fight! Please?" Twilight begged. The point was moot. Dash was in no condition to fight, let alone walk properly. "It's gonna be okay." Twilight lied, as they were led out of the dungeon. They walked together up and out into the palace courtyard, where the guillotines had been erected.

"You were saying?" Dash said sarcasticly.
____________________________

The guards bound the hooves of the condemned, placing each of them in the guillotines. They were to be publicly executed simultaneously. Princess Luna made her entrance onto the gallows platform and walked before them, eyeing each of them with furious contempt. She began to address the assembled crowd.

"Fillies and gentlecolts, we are gathered today to bear witness to the execution of Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash, for the crime of regicide, for the murder of Princess Celestia, my sister!" She hissed. Twilight looked out in the crowd. Their friends from Ponyville were there. Rarity was wearing Applejack's hat for some reason. Her family was there. Luna kept talking as Twilight looked over at Rainbow Dash in the block next to her. She smiled.

"Why are you smiling?" Dash asked her, perplexed.

"I'm happy." Twilight said.

"Happy!? How can you be happy? We're about to be executed! Aren't you upset!? Aren't you angry!?" Dash said.

"I just realized how lucky I am to have met all of you, my friends. Especially you Dashie. I'm grateful for the time I had with you. For the way you've made me feel. And that even though we have to die, we'll be together. And because-" Twilight cried. "Anger is not the last thing I want to feel." Rainbow began to cry with her, but smiled as well. Twilight's tail swished over to Rainbow's, as they wrapped around each other's.

Luna finished her self-righteous speech, looking toward the hooded executioner. The executioner walked up to the platform. He was huge beneath the black shroud covering his entire body, hiding his identity. He positively towered over both of them, as they laid prone in their blocks. The blades shimmered above them. He looked down at them.

"Any last words." He said in a gravelly voice, clearly trying to disguise it. Twilight looked at Rainbow Dash. Dash looked back into her beautiful purple eyes.

"I love you." She said.

"I love you too." Dash whimpered.

The executioner pulled the rope. The blades fell. Twilight's world slowed to a halt. Out in the crowd, a unicorn's horn glowed beneath the stetson. The blades were halted in their fall, their blocks each opened, and Twilight's and Dash's bindings were removed. Including the ring on her horn. Twilight heard Rarity's voice in her head.

"Run!"

Before Rainbow Dash even had time to react, Twilight dove on her and they both vanished in a flash.

Do You Like Bananas?

Princess Celestia sat at the dining table in the basement of her captor. Opposite her, a familiar stallion delivered her breakfast. It had been two days of this, since she was captured. Bound as she was, with a magic inhibiting ring of her own, she relied on him to feed her. He levitated the fork over to mouth.

"I'm glad to see that your cooking hasn't suffered." Celestia said between bites. Her meal was an assortment of her favorite breakfast foods. He knew all of her favorite meals. Luna's too. "You know that I'm a benevolent ruler." Celestia continued, resuming her conversation from their previous meeting. "If you let me go now, I'll see to it that you are given leniency."

"I could always tell when you were lying Princess. Because you were never any good at it." He answered, bringing the fork to her lips again. It was a bizarrely intimate act, him feeding her like this. But neither enjoyed it particularly.

"Well I never acquired your comfort with it." She said. Her first night there, after he was able to capture her, she resisted any placation from him. But immortal as she was, her belly still pang for sustenance after time. 'Come Princess, eat. It's your favorite. I wouldn't want it to go to waste, nor you.' A question had been bothering her for some time now. "What exactly is your endgame with this plan of yours? Are we to just sit here every day staring at one another until one of us expires? Because I've become quite good at the game of outlasting." She asked.

"Oh I don't think so." He said smugly. "I've read far too many Daring Do books to know better than to reveal my plan. Even when victory is all but assured." He fed her another bite.

"The entire kingdom will be searching for me. Luna will find me. And when she does, well, I can't ensure your safety at that point." She said.

"Luna is not even looking for you. As far as she knows, you're already dead."

"Then she is certainly looking for you!" Celestia barked.

"I do not think so. She thinks that Twilight is responsible." He said with a cruel grin.

"Twilight will find me!" Celestia cried. He chuckled, as his laugh bubbled into a full on bout of laughter.

"Oh, I am COUNTING ON IT!"
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FLASH

Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash appeared in air, falling a short distance before splashing down.

"OOF!" Twilight grunted as Rainbow landed on top of her. Both were soaked, landing in the warm water of the bathtub. The door opened as Zecora stepped into her bathroom.

"Quite a ways off the beaten path, to travel just to take a bath." The zebra said.

"Zecora! Sorry to keep dropping in like this. But we really need your help! Our plan last night didn't work. And now I have no idea what we're going to do!"

"Actually, Zee? Could you just, give us a minute?" Dash groaned. Zecora blushed and backed out of the room, closing the door.

"Dash, what's wrong? What did you need to-" Twilight was cut off as Rainbow kissed her. She had been afraid to before. But having both just narrowly avoided certain death just a moment earlier, she no longer cared what happened. She loved Twilight. And that was all that mattered now. Twilight, though surprised for her part, relaxed and kissed her back. Her kiss was heavenly. The warm water, divine. Each silently hoped for this moment to last forever. "Ow." Twilight moaned into Dash's mouth. Dash didn't relent. "Ow ow ow!" Twilight sat up suddenly, causing the water to splash a bit as it suddenly shifted. As soon as her back surfaced, Twilights wing's sprang free, spraying water.

"Really now?" Dash asked with a coy grin.

"It's your fault." Twilight blushed.

"Why don't you come over here so I can wash them." Dash said suggestively. Zecora knocked on the door after a minute.

"I don't want to come off sourly. But I don't rent my bathroom hourly." The subtle reminder halted Dash's roaming hooves. Twilight stepped out and dried off. She levitated a washcloth to Dash's stained fur, cleaning the cuts quickly.

"Come on." Twilight said, helping Dash out of the tub. She drained the water and refilled the bath with fresh, hot water for Zecora. Dash leaned on Twilight as she led her out to the living room. Dash rested on the carpet. "There now. Let's get a look at you." Rainbow looked up at her incredulously.

"Whoa? Really? I'm not sure if she's gonna be in the tub long enough for that." She said.

"I mean your injuries silly!" Twilight said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh. Right." She held her bad wing out. The one that was bent badly. Twilight carefully ran her hooves over it, trying no to hurt her.

"Actually I have good news." Twilight said after a minute. "It's not broken."

"Um, are you looking at the right wing? It looks pretty bad."

"Well, it is dislocated at the Margin Joint. But I should be able to set it."

"Um, how exactly?" Twilight placed her hooves on either side of the crooked point.

"Okay, brace yourself. I'm going to count to three." She said. Dash took a deep breath. "Okay. One-" *SNAP*

"OOWW!" Dash cried out. Fresh tears stained her cheeks. "I thought you were going to count to three!"

"I lied. Sorry. But try bending it now."

"Nghh" Dash groaned in pain, but she was finally able to close her wing properly. "It still hurts really bad."

"It will. It's still pretty swollen, but at least it's properly aligned." Twilight kissed her wing. "There. Better?"

"Not really."

"Fine. Let me check your hoof." Dash sat up and put her busted hoof into Twilight's. She looked at her wrist closely, bending it slowly, checking the metacarpals. Again, Dash tried her best to stifle her discomfort. "Your hoof should be okay. It's just a bad sprain."

"It feels broken."

"It's not broken. It's just a sprain."

"It feels broken."

"Oh, I'm sorry Dash. Did you ace three years of pony anatomy and kinesiology too? I didn't realize that you also had your doctorate." She said sarcastically. Dash rolled her eyes. "I know what a sprain looks like. It's a sprain."

"Egghead." Twilight gave Dash's hoof a subtle, directed bend. "AH ah AHH!" Dash's body contorted, following her hoof.

"You were saying?" Twilight said.

"Gah! What about your hippopotamus oath?" Dash cried. "Okay I'm sorry!" Twilight let her go, opting to hug her instead. "Oof!" Dash grunted.

"Oh, yeah, but your ribs are broken. Sorry, I keep forgetting that." Twilight loosened her grip.

"Well, what kind of cast do I get for ribs?" Dash asked.

"There isn't one. It's one of those things that just take time."

"Aww. Can't you just, I dunno." Dash pointed at her horn. "Magic them better?"

"No. I haven't gotten to advanced healing magic. Manipulating living tissue is incredibly complex. Only the princesses and a hoof full of others have been able to do it."

"Yeah and you're a princess now. So don't you get a, like a power boost?"

"Well, yes, my magic has been getting stronger. But I still need to learn and practice the skill before applying it to a live subject."

"Subject?"

"You know what I mean. If I tried to grow your bones back together, I could grow it right into your lung or something."

"Eek."

"Yeah, so just try to take it easy for a while instead."

"Okay okay. Don't lose your head over it." Dash said.

"I won't. We still need to figure a way out of this. Our next step should be to-" Dash sat smirking "OH COME ON! A guillotine joke? Really? Too soon Dash." Dash stifled what would have been a painful laugh. "We need to figure out exactly what happened that night. If they follow proper investigation protocol, Celestia's room should be sealed off and untouched."

"And? So what if it is?"

"So... I could go there and gather some evidence to figure out what happened." Twilight said.

"Don't you think they'll have it alarmed like the library?" Dash said.

"Probably. But I know exactly what I'd be looking for. I'd be in and out before they'd even have time to react." She explained, grabbing a couple of jars from Zecora's shelf.

"I'm coming with you!" Dash demanded.

"No. I've put you in harm's way too much already. Besides, I'll be right back. I promise."

"Pinkie Promise?"

"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

FLASH
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Twilight reappeared in Celestia's private chamber. It was stuffy. The door and window's had been sealed. She felt a shiver run up her back as she tripped the signalling ward. She had only moments before the guards would be here. She worked quickly, gathering up the mess on the floor into a jar. The pastries from the plate into the other. She could hear hooves getting closer. Her work done, she vanished again, leaving not a trace of her intrusion.

-

The blue Alicorn stormed into the room a minute after the initial guards. "Anything?" She asked. They each shook their heads. Luna smelled the stale air. It had a subtle odor. The faint scent of o-zone, with just a hint of... lavender. She was here. The gears turned in Luna's mind. 'Why?' She wondered. 'Why return to the scene of the crime?' Her eyes narrowed. Nothing about this made any sense to her. She didn't like it.

"I want two guards posted outside this door, twenty four hours until this is resolved." She commanded. It was unlikely Twilight would return. But she had nothing else to go on.
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Rainbow Dash nearly gagged. "Is- is that- her?" She said, eyeing the jar.

Twilight held up the jar of liquefied... something. "I don't think so. Something else is going on here. And that's what we're going to find out." She said, placing both jars on the table between them. "Now let's go over exactly what happened that night."

"Okay." Dash said, recounting the events. "We got that letter from Princess Celestia, inviting us over for pastries and tea. We get there, and then she exploded."

"No. There was more to it then that. We have to examine every detail. Somepony else is behind this. They have to have planned for every detail."

"Well, we got there, and she offered us the... that." Dash said, looking at the other jar with what she presumed to be raspberry squares in it. "She ate one and just exploded!"

"But she offered it to me first!" Twilight corrected. "I know her. She always waits for her guests to eat before she does."

"So she was trying to kill you!?" Dash asked.

"No. That can't be it either." Twilight said, wracking her mind. "She offered me the plate first. But I always thought her little 'you first' rule was silly. So I fed her mine before I ate." Dash gave her a sideways glace. "I thought it would be endearing."

"Until she exploded." Dash said.

"She didn't explode."

"Twi, I was there. I saw it happen. You saw it happen."

"Yes, but I don't think it happened like it looked. I'm getting to that. The point is, if she was trying to kill me... or us, she wouldn't have allowed herself to eat it if it was fatal. She couldn't have known that would happen."

"So somepony else did it?"

"They must have. But who? And why?"

"I was thinking more about the how." Dash said, picking up the jar of... Celestia.

"I don't think she's dead. I know this isn't pony." She said, looking at the jar. "This isn't what exploded pony looks like." Dash gave her a shocked, implying look. "I know what exploded pony would look like if I saw it. Which isn't to say that I have. Okay?" Dash relaxed a bit.

"So what do you think happened?" Dash asked. Twilight looked at the pastries in the other jar, clearly more concerned with them.

"When I first held these, they were practically humming with magic. I just thought it was latent from Celestia making them, but now I realize that they're definitely enchanted." Twilight tried to piece the plan together. "Whoever made these, had to have known that she'd be having guests that night. And anypony close enough to her to know that would have known that she never eats first with guests. Which means..." Twilight gasped.

"Which means what?"

"Which means that they were after me!"
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Princess Celestia sat across from her royal cook. A pony she had trusted for over a decade. He brought down her lunch from upstairs. Once again, it was nothing less than the best for her.

"I really must apologize again for this imposition, outlandish as it is." He said. "I never meant for it to happen this way. But alas, I'm nothing if not pragmatic." He said flatly.

"Oh it's no imposition." Celestia said. If she was going to be trapped with this pony, they could at least be pleasant to eachother. She was confident that time was on her side. It always was. "But I do wonder how exactly it was meant to go. I'm sure you'll secure a tidy ransom for me." She said.

"Oh, no. This hasn't anything to do with money." He said.

"Oh. So it's personal then?" Celestia pried.

"Ah ah. Now we don't want to give away too much now do we?" He said as she finished the rest of her sandwich he was holding for her. "We wouldn't want to spoil the surprise for you." He said. He cleared the table, making sure the large, silver ring embossed in the stone floor behind him was immaculate as he passed by it, before heading back upstairs.
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Rainbow Dash looked at the jar of goo. "How is Celestia not dead?"

"She must have been taken somewhere, and replaced with a sort of... dummy that exploded. This isn't natural."

"Nothing about this is natural, Twi."

"Well I mean this specifically." Twilight said, swishing the jar. "This is closer to... ectoplasm than anything."

"Okay, I get the whole, magically foalnapping somepony. But why the need for the mess?"

"Because, Celestia," her cook said, "you can steal a princess's crown and disappear. But if you steal a princess, they will find you unless-"

"...unless they think I'm dead." Twilight concluded.

"But... why do it then?" Dash asked, trying to think like a criminal. "How do you get a reward or... ransom if they think she's dead?"

"I don't think this is about money, Dash. This is something more... sinister." She said. She took the raspberry squares from the jar, eyeing them cautiously.

"So what's the plan now?" Dash asked.

"Eating this would take me wherever Celestia went." Twilight said.

"And you're sure it won't kill you?" She asked. Twilight waited a long pause. She couldn't lie about this.

"No. But, unfortunately we're out of options here." She said. "Whoever made these, intended for me to eat them."

"So it's a trap."

"It's obviously a trap."

"So what's the plan?" Dash asked.

"...Spring the trap." Twilight said, bringing the square to her mouth.

"TWILIGHT! WAIT!" Dash cried.

"Oh, right." Twilight said. She headed outside. "If my duplicate explodes, I don't want to make a mess indoors here."

"No, that's not what I meant." Dash said, grabbing her, pulling her into a kiss. "You better come back to me." She breathed.

"I will." Twilight said before eating the square.

POW!

Dash wiped what she hoped was ectoplasm from her fur.
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Celestia looked up at the flash in the room. Twilight appeared, standing inside the silver ring on the floor.

"Princess!?" Twilight said, seeing her mentor tied and bound at the table in what looked to be a basement.

"TWILIGHT! DON'T MOVE!" Celestia cried.

"I'm not leaving without you!" Twilight tried to approach Celestia, but smacked face first into the invisible wall of magic around the ring. Celestia tried to warn her, but it was too late. The entrapment spell was triggered. Arcane manacles captured the purple mare, binding her hooves, wings and horn.

Footsteps creaked overhead as the door to the basement opened. A slow, sarcastic clap came from the unicorn at the top of the stairs.

"Well, well, well. It looks like I owe you a cider Princess. Celestia, that is." He said walking down. "You were right. She did find you. But oh what of our dear Princess Twilight, hmm?" He gloated. "So smart, so talented. So foolish."

"I knew full well that it was a trap." Twilight said.

"Ah, apologies. Not foolish. Reckless then?" He said.

"Well I guess I've picked up some bad habits." Twilight said.

"Well my dear, a valiant effort I suppose." He said. "You have good timing actually. We were just about to have dinner."

"What's the point of all of this!?" Twilight demanded. "I know the trap was meant for me, but why?"

"Ugh," He groaned in frustration. "Again with the questions. You could learn a lot more from you mentor. At least she has the good manners to be a quiet guest."

"You won't get away with this." Celestia said.

"Well, mostly." He amended. "And to be quite clear, I already have gotten away with this. Had things gone properly, Celestia would have been the X factor in your capture Twilight. Just as you were for hers. But now here you both are. Safe in my keeping."

"But what do you want with me in the first place?" Twilight asked.

"Oh it's not you I want." He said, setting the table. "It's your brother."

"What? Shining Armor? But why?"

"Now that is a proper question that I'd be happy to indulge." He said, settling into his seat. "Perhaps because he married my marefriend."

"Cadence!?"

"Well, I can see that your mind just whizzing now, you scholar, you." He said. "But save us the noise emanating from you mouth for a bit." Celestia looked closer at him. All this time, and she never realized.

"Your mane-" Celestia said.

"Yes. Back when I courted Cadence it was, greener. But alas, I am now Emerald 'Greymane'. Early onset due to... traumatic loss."

"I didn't even know you two were-"

"Nopony knew!" He cut Celestia off. "Which is why it was easy for you to so handily set her up with her brother."

"I did not-"

"You knew exactly what you were doing!" He sneered. "Setting up your niece with the brother of your star pupil!? It was a strategic power move! You puppeteer everypony around you. All with that smile of yours. But now I'M in control." He opened the lids the dinner plates. "Tonight, soup. Gazpacho, to be exact. Served cold, like revenge. Which I will be serving your brother tomorrow." He up a bowl in front of Celestia. Another beside her. He moved to Twilight. He dispelled the force field around her, while maintaining a firm, magical grasp until he could get the proper horn ring on her.

FLASH

Rainbow Dash appeared in the middle of the ring. It served as little more than a floor decoration against a non-unicorn. Her vision narrowed at the pony holding her Twilight bound. With Emerald predisposed with Twilight, and caught unawares, what ensued was one of the most one-sided beatings that Celestia had ever witnessed. If Dash's hooves weren't broken before, they sure were now. But she just kept swinging, long after he went limp. She yelled and screamed through the pain, fuel by rage. It wasn't until the combined strength of Twilight, and a recently freed Celestia pulled her off could they tell if he was even still alive.

He was.

But he'd be eating the rest of his meals through a straw.

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Luna took time out of her pursuit to preside over her sister's funeral. Celestia's appearance at her own funeral made short work of clearing the names of Twilight and Rainbow Dash who were there with her.

"Dash, I almost didn't want Celestia to heal you right away." Twilight said to the newly restored Rainbow Dash.

"What? Why not?"

"Well, sometimes too much of your love can be a little... scary."

"Hey, nopony hurts my Twilight." Dash said, pulling her into another passionate kiss. Even Celestia was a bit surprised.

"Hey, I'm not your Twilight." She said defiantly. Rainbow Dash answered by licking her cheek. "Wha!? What was that for!"

"I licked you. So now you're mine." Dash explained.

"I'M NOT A COOKIE!"

Turning Emerald over to the authorities for trial landed him in the prison hospital. His assets were liquidated to repair Rarity's Carousel Boutique. His ability to wield magic was destroyed quite permanently when Dash broke his horn. Luckily for him he was already unconscious at the time.

The clock on the hospital wall said it was lunch time. Emerald waited, cuffed to the bed, for the nurse to come feed him. Imagine his surprise when none other than Princess Celestia herself showed up. In an act of turnabout, she pushed a cart inside with a meal tray on it. It was some kind of pudding. It was about all he could eat. She smelled it, and levitated a spoonful over to him.

"Emerald, let me ask you a question,

Do you like bananas?"