Razeluxe and the Doctor

by Crack Shot

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Alternate Universe, Adventure
Length: 3421

A grumpy student at an alchemy academy falls through a slash in the dimensions made by a previous student.

Razeluxe fell through a hole in the dimensions made by one of the academy's previous students. Now, in the weird world of Equis, in the country of equestria, he has to find a way home. Much to his surprise, the ponies there are kind regardless of his personality.

Doctor Whooves as Himself.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-08 07:40:05 UTC

Weird Beginnings

Raze woke up to an obnoxious knocking on his door. Probably his workshop needing him for some synthesis. "Who's there and what do you want?" He yelled towards the door. Nobody answered, so he yelled again. No response still. The knocking hasn't stopped either. The knocking at his door was starting to annoy him, so he quickly threw on his uniform and went to answer. Man... he thought, Who wants to see me this bad... When he opened the door, he saw the same hallway he usually sees. When he was going to turn around to go back to sleep, he saw a note on his door.

Needed you to get more tauns. Went to get them myself.

"Figures." He mumbled, aware that his workshop needed him. He didn't like having to collect a lot of ingredients, as it was boring and hard work. Guess sometimes things work out in the end. Right around that time he noticed his clock, which was striking 7:30AM.

"Better get to class, or teacher is gonna be mad."

On his way to class, he noticed a patch of blurry air in one of the hallways. He found that odd, as air that looks like that is normally associated with hot air or gas vapors. He walked over to the blurry air, and looked for a source of heat. After looking around, he found no source of heat nor a source of gas. He was confused, which rarely happens. Without warning, the air opened, not like a door, but like a tear, and he gazed inside. It was definably the source of the hot air. He gazed at the red inside, and wondered how it occurred. He thought he saw a young girl pass through and disappear for a second, but dismissed this thought. It's a vortex, not a daycare. He felt a small wind on his back, which he found odd because he was indoors, but soon the wind grew stronger. By the time he registered the wind as a threat, it was blowing him into the vortex.

"Help! Someone! Ulrika! Anybody!" He yelled, being sucked into the now closing vortex.

As he passed through, he saw images. One image depicted a small group fighting what looked to be a giant collection of red eyes held together by black skin and held up by clear limbs. Another depicted a blue box, something he thought didn't fit. Another odd image he saw was of a blue... horse being shot by a... rainbow? That image quickly disappeared, returning to the red vortex. He felt a large heat start to burn him, then he stopped.

Everything went black.

He woke up in a patch of grass in the middle of a really, REALLY dense forest. Raze thought he couldn't feel his arms, but he knew they were there. It was night now, which was odd. He passed it off as a coincidence, as he felt like he hit his head pretty hard. He stood up, to assess his surroundings. He saw no sign of civilization, and he suddenly felt as if he was unarmed. He was right, as his ornate dagger must've fallen out of it's sheath while he was in that... place. He still had his ring, where most of his power came from. It wasn't very effective without his dagger though, and that annoyed him. He looked for any kind of path through the forest, any sign of civilization, but came up empty handed. He heard growling and dismissed it, feeling as if whatever it was didn't want to mess with him.

He didn't know how wrong he was.

He bent down to look for any kind of footprint. Bingo! He saw a bunch of hoofprints, presumably made by a horse. The growling got louder, and started to tick him off. He turned around to see 3 wolves made of wood. How odd, but nothing he couldn't handle.

"Oh for the love of..."

Raze quickly grabbed the nearest possible weapon, that being a small stick, and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, the stick had a bright glow around it, and a magical blade had formed from it. He felt his ring start to warm up, a sign that it was him. Raze knew the blade wouldn't be very durable, as a stick was its base, but he figured he could take out a few wooden wolves. He attacked in his normal way, a heavy onslaught of slashes and stabs, cutting down the first two wolves. The third wolf was more clever however, taking the time to dodge his onslaught, and look for a weakness. He saw one, the back. By the time the wolf saw his target, Raze turned to him. Raze smacked the wolf with the blunt of the blade, smashing it into multiple pieces.

"So normal it's boring..." Raze said to himself, glad that he could take the wolves out without receiving injury. The timberwolf shards started vibrating slightly, but Raze paid them no attention. He was ready to get out of this forest. He heard a loud growl, more of a grunt, come from behind him. He turned around to see a large timberwolf, easily around three to four times bigger than a normal one. Raze felt like he couldn't take that on alone, but knew he had no choice.

Raze attacked first.

Raze slashed at its legs, trying to find a weakspot on his wooden adversary. He was met with a bite down on his weapon, shattering it but stunning the wolf. Raze ducked and rolled out of the way of another bite, but got kicked in the stomach by the timberwolf's oversized leg. He fell to the ground, no doubt a rib or two broken. He stood back up, albeit weakly...

Just to receive another kick to the face.

He saw splotches of white cloud his vision. He knew one of his arms were broken, and his jaw felt limp.

Hah Raze thought, feeling as if this is where his life ends. I guess I should have accepted that alchemy class after all...

As the timberwolf giant was about to bite down on Raze, Raze noticed something out of place. It looked like that blue horse from that image he saw earlier, except different. It looked different, younger and kinder. Not that it would matter, he was about to be eaten alive. He closed his eyes, preparing for his last moments, when something bright, blue, and powerful hit the giant beast, and it crumpled down into small wooden shards. He felt something pick him up, and everything went black, for the second time that day.

He woke up in a bed, which surprised him. He thought that whole thing was a dream, then he saw it was a hospital bed.

"Hello there."

The voice startled him, it was kind but sounded commanding.

"What are you and what are you doing in Equestria?"

That's odd, he didn't know of any place known as Equestria, and certainly didn't know why they would ask what he is. He figured whoever it was meant his job. He opened his eyes...

to see two large horses with horns, wings, and flowing manes in front of him.

"This is a prank isn't it? Is that you under there Ulrika? You know how pranks annoy me."

"Excuse me, but who is Ulrika? And we asked a question first." The blue one asked.

"Oh, so I'm still dreaming then?" Raze said, pinching himself. He felt pain, so he was definitely awake. "I guess not... and why should I answer your question?"

They both glanced at each other, then back to Raze.

"Because we are the royal sisters of Equestria." They both said in tandem.

"What is Equestria then?" Raze asked, truly wondering where he was.

"Equestria is a country, and please answer our question." The blue one responded.

"Why should I? It's not like a couple of horses could sto-" he stopped talking, realizing they took his ring. "Where is it?!"

"Where's what?"

"Where's my ring?! I'm not stupid, I know you took it!" He noticed the blue one was the one that saved him last night, and didn't care. He needed his weapon back.

"We took it to study, now what are you?!" The blue one asked yet again, after asking the other 'Princess' to leave.

"I'm human! Happy now? Your starting to piss me off. Now, answer this, what do you want? You saved me last night, there has to be a reason! Money? Power? What?!"

"We've never seen anything like you before."

Raze was shocked, he knew humanity had colonized a large portion of the known world. He came to a conclusion. "I shouldn't be here, if I am the only one here. Can I go home? Perhaps back to the Academy?"

"What Academy? And no you can't go out looking like you do."

"I have clothes... you just look them away. If I put them on surely I could go outside."

"No you can't. Everypony would panic and think they were under attack"

"I don't care, I need to go back to the academy."

"If you were a pony you could go out."

"What? What are you proposing."

"I could turn you into a pony. It's difficult magic, but you should be able to go outside to talk to ponies."

"I reject your offer. I don't need friends, much less a body that has no arms, legs, or thumbs."

"I can turn you into a unicorn so you can use magic if you prefer."

"I still wouldn't have any clothes to wear, I'm not going outside naked. Plus, I don't know where I am."

"We can turn your current garments so they would fit your new body, and your in a town called ponyville. I never caught your name, by the way."

"Whatever! Do what you like, your starting to piss me off! If you call me anything call me Raze or Razeluxe, calling me it is pissing me off even more."

"My name is Princess Luna, and you might feel a small shock."

The shock was not small. It was some of the most excruciating pain of his entire life. He managed barely not passing out, and when the pain stopped, he felt weird. He felt a tail, two large ears, 4 legs, and a small horn. It felt different, but he soon figured out basic movement.

"Good to see you like your new body. I'll find you a place to live."

"Mind you that was the MOST PAINFUL THING I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION THIS DOESN'T FEEL NATURAL!" Raze yelled, very unhappy about the turn of events.

"You had better rest, you sound tired."

"I'm not tired! Hey, where are you going?!" Raze continued to yell as Luna left the room. He lied about the last part, he felt like he could fell asleep any second.

Then he fell asleep.

"Good Morning my little pony" called a soft voice. "Wake up... Wake up..." It pestered.

Raze woke up, seeing a white pony in front of him. He remembered her from yesterday. "Which one are you?" He asked, grumpy as ever.

"I am Princess Celestia, and I'm here to give you this." Celestia said, placing a key and a slip of paper on the table next to his bed.

"What's this?" Raze asked, looking at the paper.

"It's a key to your new home. Your address is on the card. I just came to give you that and teach you basic levitation."

"So I can move things without posable thumbs then? That would help." Raze said, thinking of how hard it would be to turn a lock and key with hooves.

"The trick is simple, just visualize what you want to move, then think about where you want it." Celestia showed, holding up a glass of water.

"Alright, this had better work." He visualized the key and paper going into his coat pocket, and it did just that.

"Very good my little pony. Your already a natural." Celestia commented, knowing how he needed to know this simple spell.

"Will you stop calling me that?!" Raze said, a little louder than normal. He hates nicknames, but that one in particular annoyed him a lot.

"You'd better be on your way now, and remember to make friends!"

Raze left his room, slowly till he got a hang of walking. He left the hospital, loving the smell of fresh air again. He asked some ponies on where that address was, and they gave him some pointers. He was shocked at the diverse colors and personalities of the ponies, and a lot of them annoyed him. He finally got to his address, and opened it with the key Celestia gave him. He realized he would need to furnish it, and he had no idea what the currency was. He had no idea how much cole was worth either. He explored, and in one hallway there was a large blue box. Police Public Call Box it said on the top. He turned around, thinking it was just modern art, until he heard the creaking of a wooden door and turned around.

"Hello, I'm the Doctor, and I'm your roommate."

Say What?

"There is no way you're my roommate." Raze stated, in a matter of fact tone. "The princess told me that I would be alone in this house. She said nothing about having a roommate. And even if you were, your ugly box is blocking off half the house."

"I am your roommate, it says so in the Princess's handwriting." The Doctor countered, showing Raze his psychic paper. "And the box isn't ugly. It's cool, and it's quite beautiful, if I do say so myself."

"Who the hay are you anyways?" Raze pondered over that sentence, Did I just say hay? This place is rubbing off on me. "After all, if I'm going to be stuck with you I might as well know your name."

"I'm the Doctor."

"Doctor who exactly?"

"Just the Doctor." He chuckled, he always loves it when people say that.

"Alright Doctor, have it your way. But you'll have to move your box. It's standing in my way, as I plan to know exactly what's on the other side. I know it's your half of the house, but I can't have this out-of-place lawn ornament in the middle of the hallway blocking my path."

"Fine fine I'll move her. Just... Cool down. It's not a very good way to start off with anypony if you act like this."

"Whatever. I didn't get a tour from the Princess, so I need to go explore the town. I don't wanna end up going to the market and ending up in an orchard, and vise-versa." Raze left the house without a word. He could've sworn he heard a weird sound coming from it, but he assumed it's just heating or air conditioning, if ponies have that.

Raze, now walking through town, and he was welcomed by EVERYPONY. Every single one of the residents greeted him and welcomed him on sight, as if they had nothing better to do. Its so annoying he thought, Why can't these ponies go on with their day? Is there a law or something saying they have to greet me?

"Hello, you must be new in town!"

"Oh for the love of... I don't want to be greeted! I've been greeted by everypony here in this town!" Raze said towards the lavender mare that greeted him.

"Well, that's not very nice is it? I just wanted to warn you, if you meet a pink party pony, expect a party at your house. My names Twilight Sparkle by the way, what's yours?"

"Razeluxe, but why would I need to worry about a party? Much mess why would you care even? I don't know you, you know."

"It's just a warning, if you don't listen or if you do it's not my fault. But you're being really rude right now so I'm going back to the library." Twilight then trotted off towards a large carved-out oak tree. Good Riddance. Raze thought, as he turned towards the center of town. On his way, he saw a pink pony, with a balloon mark. What do those mean... I've seen everypony have one except foals. It must be involved like a right of passage. But if that's true, then that's the pony I need to stay away from. He began to wander around town at this point, taking note of important locations. Library... Check. Cafe... Check. Market... wait what? He saw it again, that same blue box.

"What is that doing here?" He muttered, trotting towards the object. As he got there, he saw that Doctor talking to a merchant, and a young grey mare with a blond mane next to him, looking cross. Raze decided to stay out of that fight, as he had no weapon. I really need to ask that princess for my ring back next I see her... Its unnerving when I'm unarmed.

Raze, having taken note of most of the important places in town, figured he would head home and ask the Doctor why he was in the market with his box.

Raze was nearing his house. It has been getting dark out, and now he could see a few lights on inside the house. He went to open the door...

To get yelled at.

"SURPRISE!" Yelled a lot of ponies in the room, now having thoroughly scared the daylights out of him. What were they doing in his house?

"Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, and I saw you were new in town! And I always throw parties for new ponies, because they have no friends yet! So I throw the party so they can make friends! Whats your name? Whats your Cutie Mark? Whats it represent? How old are you? How good at magic are you?" The excited pink mare rattled off, asking so many questions. It annoyed him, but he found no harm in answering.

"Well, Pinkie, My name is Raze. What is a Cutie Mark? I do not know what a Cutie Mark is. I'm 17 years old, and know only one spell. Now, my turn to ask you a few questions. What are you doing in my house, and why did you nearly give me a heart attack?" Raze said, a little bit of spite in his voice.

"How do you not know what a cutie mark is?" The pink mare asked, ignoring the latter question.

"Because I don't. Now please, tell me."

"A cutie mark is a mark that shows a pony's special talent. Mine is three balloons, because I throw the best parties in Ponyville!" Pinkie said, showing him her flank to emphasize her point.

"Well, mine just hasn't appeared yet." He said, truthfully. There was no mark on his flank.

"Oh. I thought you would have one, as most adult ponies do."

"Raze! How nice to see you!" Said a familiar accented tone.

"Oh, hi Doctor."

"Enjoy the party Raze!" Pinkie said, walking to the party games section.

"So Doctor, what was that at the market? You were rather cross at some merchant."

"Oh, that was nothing. Just a friendly chat on how he was treating Fluttershy. I moved the box so you know, its parked out back."

"Oh tha~ wait... parked?"

"Yes, its parked. Why, is it a bad location again?"

"No, just pondering over your choice of words. Oh, and who was that mare with you? The grey one? She your wife or something?"

"Not exactly. She travels with me."

"Oh, so this is just a vacation spot then?"

"No, this is where we live."

"Aaanyways, I had better go to bed. Its been a LONG day. Its not fun, not knowing much about this world and all."

"I know how you feel. Goodnight Raze."

What a weird stallion, wonder what he meant by 'I know what you feel.' I just hope the party doesn't keep me up. I need my sleep, should I need to look presentable for a job. Raze thought, climbing into his bed after shutting and locking the door with his magic. He liked it actually, the magic. The only magic he knew from his world was offensive, but never passive like levitation here. He tried his best to sleep, and eventually passed out from exhaustion when he was tired enough. The party was too loud.