Chapters The iron door broke down and the dust settled. Dash coughed and Pinkie was breathing heavily. The British robot came to meet them.
"Well. There we go. Now you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of competent goal, but, um, at least you're a good jumper. You've got that jumping on your side, um...just do your best, and I'll see you up ahead!" said the robot. Rainbow nodded and started to trot ahead. Pinkie nodded and waved.
"Okie Dokie Lokie! See you later Nigel!" said Pinkie. She bounced down the platform and Rainbow Dash jumped after her. Dash and Pinkie shuddered as drips of water landed on their coats.
"That's the spirit!" said the robot, urging them on.
"Alright, you do that, I'm gonna look at the rubble." said Pinkie. The two ponies started exploring.
"We're SCREWED!" Dash muttered under her breath. Pinkie hopped over broken pipes while Rainbow inched across cracked glass. Pinkie landed hard on the glass and they plummeted through the hole.
"Ahh!" yelled the pegasus.
"Whee!" said the pink pony. They hit hard against the floor and Rainbow rubbed her head and cursed as Pinkie giggled.
"HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE APERTURE SCIENCE ENRICHMENT CENTER. WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES AFTER CIRCUMSTANCES OF POTENTIALLY APOCALYPTIC CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND OUR CONTROL. HOWEVER, THANKS TO A NEW EMERGENCY TESTING PROTOCOLS, TESTING CAN CONTINUE. THESE PRERECORDED MESSAGES WILL PROVIDE INSTRUCTIONS AND MOTIVATIONAL SUPPORT SO THAT SCIENCE CAN STILL BE DONE EVEN IN THE EVENT OF ENVIRONMENTAL, SOCIAL, ATOMIC, OR STRUCTURAL COLLAPSE. EMERGENCY TESTING WILL BEGIN IN 3, 2, 1..." suddenly an orange portal appeared on the wall and Pinkie leapt back in surprise.
"Oh good! Oh good, portal." said Pinkie.
"Portals?!" said Rainbow stupidly. Pinkie pulled Dash through the portals and towards an iron door that opened when it sensed the movement of the ponies. In the next room there was a large red button and an iron door.
"Oh this is easy!" said Dash. She put her hoof on the button and the iron door opened. Dash leapt back as sparks flew from the door.
"I think it worked!" said Pinkie as she trotted through the half open door. Dash went to follow her, but the second she took her hoof off the button the door closed. She grabbed a box in the corner and put it on the button. She trotted through, and a blue forcefield materialized in the next door.
"THIS EMANCIPATION GRILL WILL VAPORIZE ALL UNAUTHORIZED EQUIPMENT" said the recorded message. Pinkie gasped and clutched the curly pink mess she called hair.
"Is my MANE unauthorized?!" said Pinkie. Dash snickered and walked through it, Pinkie following her nervously. The Emancipation Grill did not vaporize Pinkie's mane, and they were ready for the next test.
Hello Once Again, Audience
"Hello once again, audience! When we left off-"
"Uh, Pinkie? Who are you talking to?" Rainbow Dash asked her friend. Pinkie giggled.
"The audience, silly! When we left off we were staring at this elevator up into the safety fan murder wheel!" said Pinkie as she and Dash walked into the elevator they had reached by passing the first test. The platform started dropping fast, which startled the pegasus.
"Oh Celestia. Oh Celestia." said Dash as the elevator took them down into darkness. The two ponies found themselves on another floor and the familiar monotone voice rang out.
"RELAX. LIE ON YOUR BACK, AND APPLY IMMEDIATE PRESSURE TO YOUR TEMPLES. YOU ARE SIMPLY EXPERIENCING A RARE REACTION IN WHICH THE MATERIAL EMANCIPATION GRILL MAY HAVE EMANCIPATED THE EAR TUBES INSIDE YOUR HEAD." said the voice as the two ponies walked through an iron door. Dash gulped.
"Any ideas what our ear tubes did?" asked Dash, paranoid they had lost an important life function. Pinkie shrugged and bounced out the door, with a nervous pegasus following her. They both jumped off a ledge and tried to solve the next puzzle. Dash curiously pressed a red button, and an orange and blue portal appeared.
"Yay! More portals!" said Pinkie, clearly enjoying this. Dash pressed a couple more buttons until she knew what she had to do. Rainbow pushed the button by the door, making a blue portal appear by it. Dash jumped through the orange portal while Pinkie watched, fascinated and delighted.
"Pinkie! Get the cube!" said Rainbow Dash. Pinkie nodded and jumped through a few portals Dash had created and retrieved a cube. Pinkie placed the cube on the button making the door open. Pinkie hit the button by the door making a blue portal spawn by Rainbow Dash.
"BECAUSE OF TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING, YOUR TEST ENVIRONMENT IS UNSUPERVISED. BEFORE ENTERING THE RELAXATION VAULT AT THE CONCLUSION OF TESTING, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO WRITE DOWN THE RESULTS OF YOUR TEST." said the voice. It continued talking but Dash and Pinkie were not listening and continued walking to the next elevator. The fan was being blocked by cubes stacked on top of eachother.
"Oh my Celestia! Too many cubes!" said Pinkie. Dash cautiously stepped in the elevator pulling Pinkie in with her. They entered the next room and Pinkie's eyes were immediately glued to a screen projected on the wall. The voice was talking about how their society was governed, but the voice soon shut down, and the two friends were looking at a screen. The short movie showed an arena with a bunch of shadows of ponies in the audience. There was soon a giant robot in the arena. Some of the ponies ran or flew away in terror and others bowed down to the mechanical giant like it was their god. The ponies stared at the staircase that loomed in front of them. Pinkie shakily made her way up and Dash was wondering what kind of society they were living in, what life was like outside of Aperture, exactly what kind of relationship pony kind has with AIs, if there was more to this simple puzzle game that meets the eye.
Author's Note
Yes, I'm watching Tobuscus walkthroughs to assist me with my writing.
Murdering Lethal Military Androids
Pinkie grabbed the strange looking gun and observed it. Suddenly, a small part of her remembered what the gun was and what it did. She smiled.
"Ooooooh yeah. Ohohohoho!" said Pinkie as she created a blue portal. Pinkie jumped through it and came out the other end of the orange portal while Dash watched, amazed.
"That. Is. So. AWESOME!" said Dash as she climbed the stairs and jumped after Pinkie Pie. They were walking down a corridor and Pinkie was rambling on as usual.
"Ok. So here's what I do. This is how I do it. Let's go up here, cus I know what I'm doing. I'm the master of things and the doing of them." said Pinkie as she walked through the dark rooms. Dash rolled her eyes and kept quiet as Pinkie kept on talking. She suddenly turned to a table and pointed her newly equipped portal gun.
"You're screwed." said Pinkie as she shot the table. Nothing happened except a shower of blue sparks. She did the same thing to a clock and Dash narrowed her eyes at the clock.
"You're lucky clocks are immune to portals." said Rainbow. The two mares laughed and exited the room. They kept trotting along until they came across a broken window. Pinkie looked at the drop and gulped.
"Oh. Okay. There's a chasm chasm." said Pinkie mispronouncing "chasm" on the second use. They jumped down safely and the monotone voice could be heard again.
"THE FOLLOWING EMERGENCY TESTING MAY REQUIRE PROLONG INTERACTION WITH LETHAL MILITARY ANDROIDS. REST ASSURED THAT ALL LETHAL MILITARY ANDROIDS HAVE BEEN TAUGHT TO READ AND PROVIDED WITH ONE COPY OF THE LAWS OF ROBOTICS." said the voice. Rainbow started hyperventilating.
"Oh Celestia. Oh Celestia." said Dash.
"Th-they can just attach it in an email, right?" said Pinkie. The two ponies continued down the stairs cautiously. They couldn't see anywhere else to go, so Pinkie shot a portal at the wall, and they walked through it. Pinkie could see the next testing site up ahead, so she shot the blue portal right next to the door. Rainbow Dash jumped through the orange portal and Pinkie followed her. Suddenly, pinkie looked up above the portal to see a strange camera looking thing with a red eye. Rainbow waited by the door for her friend, while Pinkie, who was currently paranoid about any robot or android pointed her gun at the strange camera.
"Woah, woah. You're dead." said Pinkie as she shot the camera and it fell to the ground. She shot the floor under it and it came out the orange portal in front of her. Pinkie nudged it so it was on the edge of the portal.
"Oh no, lethal military android, your world is about to be rocked! Oh, your world!" said Pinkie. She narrowed her eyes at the wall in front of her, and shouted to Rainbow Dash.
"DO YOU CUT THEM IN HALF IF YOU CLOSE THE PORTAL?" shouted Pinkie. Rainbow shrugged and shouted back.
"OH MY CELESTIA THAT WOULD BE SO AWESOME!" shouted Dash. So Pinkie shot the portal at the wall, and when she turned to see the robot still intact, she sulked a bit in disappointment. Dash jumped back to where Pinkie was and they continued, with Dash holding the strange camera in her mouth. They saw another Emancipation Grill, and Dash shrugged and chucked the robot into it. The robot was turned into ash and Dash gasped.
"Oh my CELESTIA. I just MURDERED it!" said Dash. Pinkie looked up at the ceiling, as if someone were watching her while Rainbow Dash half mourned and half laughed at the unintentional destruction of the robot.
"Sorry we murdered your security bot! That's got to be expensive!" said Pinkie
Author's Note
I have nothing to say right now. Thanks for being so patient! Remember, the jokes are not mine, they belong to our good friend Tobuscus.
A Time Continuum of Unlimited Hotness
After the unfortunate death of the robot, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie walked through the Emancipation Grill and down the next set of stairs. They came across another elevator and stared in awe as all the cubes were sucked up into the giant fan.
"Oh, black hole. Oh, oh good! OH GOOD. I...am...terrified." said Pinkie as the elevator came up. Dash nodded in agreement, but they both ended up trembling as they walked closer to it. They came to the next floor, they heard the dull robotic voice yet again.
"THE NEXT TEST IS VERY DANGEROUS BUT WE WILL HELP YOU REMAIN TRANQUIL IN THE FACE OF ALMOST CERTAIN DEATH. SMOOTH JAZZ WILL BE DEPLOYED IN 3, 2, 1..."
"Oh no..." grumbled the spectrum maned pegasus. Sure enough, smooth jazz rang out across the room and Dash face hoofed while Pinkie squealed in delight. They walked upstairs with music in the background. As soon as they reached the door, the smooth jazz came to a stop, and Pinkie looked sad. Rainbow Dash had a game face on, for they had yet another puzzle to solve. Dash pressed the red button and sure enough, there was an unlocking sound from across the room. A box fell from a hole and Dash ran to get it, once again locking the door. Dash looked down into the pit, and looked at Pinkie. Pinkie seemed to get the message and threw the portal gun to Rainbow Dash. Rainbow pointed the gun at the box and shot a portal underneath it, causing it to come out the orange portal by Pinkie Pie.
"Here you go, get on the red button of safety!" said Pinkie as she placed the cube on the button, causing the door to open. They went through the door and proceeded on to the next puzzle. Jumping through a few portals, Dash grabbed the cube and caught a glimpse of herself in the reflection provided by the portals.
"Oh my Celestia, it's like looking at a time continuum of unlimited HOTNESS." said Dash as she posed in front of the portal. Pinkie, who had been behind Rainbow Dash the entire time, giggled.
"Aw, thanks Dashie!" said Pinkie. Dash blushed and quickly shook her head.
"Gah! N-no, not YOU!" said Rainbow. Dash jumped off the platform and slammed the box on the button. Dash shot a few more portals for the box to get to Pinkie, who grabbed it and imitated Dash's method of placing the box on the button. Of course, the door opened and the two mares walked through as the voice spoke to them again.
"GREAT WORK! SINCE THIS MESSAGE IS PRE RECORDED, ANY OBSERVATIONS RELATED TO YOUR PERFORMANCE ARE SPECULATIONS ON OUR PART, PLEASE DISREGARD ANY UNDESERVED COMPLIMENTS." said the voice as the door closed behind the ponies. They found themselves in a room where there didn't appear to be doors or any other means of escape.
"What? What the buck just happened?" asked Rainbow Dash. Pinkie took the portal gun away from her friend and shot a portal at the wall. They walked through it and screamed as they fell through the glass ceiling and it shattered on the way down. Dash was checking for blood and Pinkie was moaning in pain.
"Ah! Owowow! Ow! Ow! Owhowhow...ok I'm fine."
Author's Note
Pinkies fine. No need to panic, she's fine. Smooth jazz will now be deployed.
The Puzzle Where You're Supposed to Drown
Pinkie and Dash scrambled to their hooves and carried on. As always, the party pony tried to lighten the mood.
"I'm gonna tear this place up and have a party! Having a party for NINE MILLION YEARS." said Pinkie. Dash laughed and shot a blue portal at the wall of the room they were currently in.
"Ooh, that's a nice wall mount!" giggled Pinkie as she bounced away from her pegasus friend. Dash quickly ran after her. Pinkie led her to another elevator. Rainbow Dash groaned. More testing. Dash's attention was turned to a screen by the elevator. She pulled Pinkie towards it and the two little ponies stared in awe. The screen displayed many small earth ponies marching along in unison, and the tape kept playing over and over again. Dash slowly trotted to the elevator and Pinkie followed her. The elevator descended into darkness.
"DARKNESS!" shouted Pinkie, causing Rainbow Dash to jump.
Goddangit Pinkie, stop reading the story you need to help Rainbow Dash solve the puzzles! The elevator stopped and Rainbow trotted up the stairs.
"Ok, let's get the hell up here." muttered Dash. The robotic voice rang out once again and interrupted the thoughts of the sky blue pegasus.
"WHILE BEING BOMBARDED WITH FIREBALLS, METEORITES, AND OTHER OBJECTS FROM SPACE, PLEASE AVOID UNSHELTERED TESTING AREAS WHEREVER A LACKING SHELTER FROM SPACE DEBRIS DOES NOT APPEAR TO BE A PART OF THE TEST." said the male robotic voice. The friends continued on and Pinkie studied another poster with a number five on it.
"Oh, drowning, oh good. This mission ends with us drowning...I am a fan." said Pinkie pointing to a picture that depicted a stick person flailing about in a substance that appeared to be water. Rainbow Dash shuddered and shot a portal at the ground. Pinkie, of course, jumped through without hesitation, and Dash was forced to follow her. Pinkie had her eyes closed and her tongue was lolling out of her mouth. Dash looked down to see how high their fall was, and her instincts screamed at her to open her wings, but they were held together by some strange force.
"AAHH!" shouted Rainbow Dash as they fell through the portal. They landed on the ground safely, and nothing was broken. Pinkie stood up and was smiling.
"Wow! That was so awesome!" said Pinkie, shamelessly stealing her friend's catchphrase. Dash got up, and she was so dizzy, she fell over on the red button she had landed next to. When Dash's rump fell hard on the button, a set of stairs leading to the door appeared. Pinkie gasped. She took the portal gun from the dizzy pegasus and scampered off to find a box. She slumped down when she saw brown, murky water.
"Oh. I see. That is the water I'm supposed to drown in. It all makes sense now..." said Pinkie, backing away from the water. She looked up to see the orange portal her and her friend fell out of. Pinkie pressed the small red button below the glowing orange portal. A cube appeared right in front of where Rainbow Dash was sitting. Pinkie pushed her friend off the button, and placed the cube on instead. The stairs appeared again, and after Dash had stopped seeing stars, she followed Pinkie up them. When they came to the door, the duo sulked in disappointment when they saw a large red button. The two Elements of Harmony knew what that meant. They needed to get another cube.
Author's Note
How will they find the cube??? Oh yeah by solving the puzzle.
The Future Starts With YOU!
Pinkie trotted away from the door and towards two small buttons with her trusty portal gun in her hooves. She pressed a button that raised the bridge. She proceeded to press the other button which caused a cube to fall out of the orange portal and bounce against the bridge. She retrieved the cube and used it to open the door.
"WELL DONE. THE INSTRUMENT CENTER REMINDS YOU THAT ALTHOUGH CIRCUMSTANCES MAY APPEAR BLEAK, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. ALL APERTURE PERSONALITY CONSTRUCTS WILL REMAIN FUNCTIONAL IN APOCALYPTIC LOW POWER ENVIRONMENTS OF AS FEW AS 1.1 VOLTS." said the robotic voice. The two mares continued down the next set of stairs. Rainbow Dash looked up at the cubes being stacked in the tube above the elevator and she attempted making a joke in these apocalyptic circumstances.
"Look Pinkie, those cubes are combining to form...um...Voltron!" Dash said as she pointed to the cubes. Pinkie's mane stood up and she trembled and bolted to the top of the stairs.
"Aaaah...I'm scared!" said Pinkie. Rainbow Dash facehoofed and went to the top of the stairs to console her friend. After Dash had convinced her friend Voltron wasn't going to kill her, Pinkie followed Rainbow Dash as they went to the next floor in the elevator.
"THIS SYSTEM USES THE PRINCIPLES OF MOMENTUM FOR MOVEMENT THROUGH PORTALS. THE LAWS OF PHYSICS NO LONGER APPLY IN THE FUTURE." said the voice. Pinkie Pie snorted.
"Please! The laws of physics are SO four seasons ago!' said Pinkie confidently trotting ahead. Rainbow gave her a quizzical look but followed her without questioning her motives. They went through the door and Pinkie shot a portal at the wall. The two mares jumped through and fell down to the next puzzle. Dash, who had prepared herself for a high drop, landed more gracefully than last time. They walked around the room and Pinkie found a large metal pit. Without using any logic at all, she shot a portal at the bottom, grabbed Dash's hoof, and jumped down to the bottom, pulling Rainbow Dash with her. The plummeted into the portal and Rainbow couldn't help but let out a yelp of surprise.
"Oh Celestia, we're dead. WE'RE DEAD!" shouted Dash. Contrary to her belief, they both landed safely in front of the door.
"Ok, how are we gonna get the cube?" asked Pinkie. Dash very helpfully shrugged. Pinkie sighed and trotted away in an exploration to find the cube. She found a glass container that held a cube inside of it. She gave a little victory cheer and shot a portal beneath the cube, causing it to fall out of the orange portal to the end of the metal pit. Pinkie jumped down from their platform to retrieve the cube. She shot another portal at the bottom of the pit. Pinkie threw the cube into the portal and jumped after it. They both appeared by the door and Rainbow placed the cube on the red button. The door opened and the male robotic voice could be heard again.
"IF YOU ARE NOT AN EMPLOYEE FOR THIS FACILITY AMONG THE RUINS OF THE TESTING SITE, WELCOME! AND REMEMBER; TESTING IS THE FUTURE, AND THE FUTURE STARTS WITH YOU!" said the recorded message. Dash looked at her friend in confusion and the party pony just shrugged. They walked through another Emancipation Grill and advanced to the next test. After walking around, the ponies found an orange portal far below the platform they were standing on. Dash cringed. No way. She was DONE with high drops. Pinkie gulped and shot another portal at an angled platform. The orange portal opened. Pinkie Pie gulped again.
"Well...the future starts with us...right?" Pinkie murmured shakily. She jumped off the safety of the platform. Rainbow Dash had tried to stop her, but it was too late.
"GERONIMO!" Pinkie shouted as she jumped into the orange portal and emerged from the blue one, her body like an arrow. She landed on all four hooves on the other side and stood next to the cube triumphantly. Dash suddenly felt self conscious. In what universe was PINKIE PIE braver than HER?
Author's Note
This is a nice turn of events. Take away Dash's wings and she loses all her courage.
View Online
In one...two...three! NOPE NOPE TOO HIGH NOPE!
Pinkie narrowed her eyes. She knew what she had to do. She shot a blue portal at the highest part of the wall that was near the button used to open the door. She leaped down from her platform, grabbed Dash and the cube and jumped into the orange portal down below. The two ponies and the one box fell out of the blue portal and landed by the button. Pinkie placed the box on the button behind the cracked glass wall. Dash ran to find the open door only to find a folded up staircase. She groaned.
"How are we gonna get on that on time?!" said an exasperated Rainbow Dash. Pinkie looked around and soon her face brightened up as if she had an idea. Pinkie grabbed Rainbow's hoof and took several steps back. Before her Pegasus friend could protest, Pinkie had already started running. They leaped into the orange portal and flew out of the blue portal high up on the wall. They crashed on the platform that held the Emancipation Grill. They began to trot towards it until another prerecorded message interrupted them.
"FOR GETTING THIS FAR, YOU MUST FEEL DELIGHTED, AND RADIENT IN SUCH A WAY THAT THE FUTURE SHOULD NOT START WITH YOU. PLEASE RETURN TO YOUR PRIMITIVE TRIBE AND SELECT SOMEONE BETTER QUALIFIED FOR TESTING." said the message. However, Pinkie and Dash were not listening, for they were too busy cheering and giving each other bro hooves. They walked through the Emancipation Grill to see what other challenges awaited them. There was an elevator, and Rainbow Dash walked into it, with Pinkie bouncing right behind her. The elevator dropped down to the next floor. There was another message but Dash ignored it and walked up the stairs. they were in another large testing area when suddenly they heard a familiar British voice.
"HEY! HEY YOU! UP HERE!" shouted the voice. Dash and Pinkie looked around to find the only other talking being they have encountered in the facility. They found their robot friend who Pinkie named "Nigel" hanging upside down from a wire. He did not hesitate in speaking to the ponies again.
"Oh brilliant! You found the portal gun! You know what? It just goes to show...people with brain damage are the real heroes at the end of the day. Shoot a portal at that wall behind me there, and I'll meet you at the other side." said Nigel. Dash saluted and Pinkie nodded vigorously. They obeyed, and they were soon face to face with their robot friend. He spoke to them again.
"Ok listen, let me...listen though, it's pretty heavy. They told me never, ever, EVER to disengage myself from my management rail, or I would die...but...we're out of options here. So...get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that...I'm dead and might pop off this thing. Ready? One...two...three! That's high it's TOO HIGH! Alright doing it on three gives you too much time to think about it, let's do it on one this time. Ok, ready? One!" Nigel disconnected himself from the rail and landed on the ground in a shower of sparks. Dash was very confused while Pinkie was tearing up. She poked the small robotic sphere several times. He was not opening his eye.
Author's Note
sorry if I don't get the recorded messages right. Its hard to hear when someone is going; WHEEEEEW! in the background. Also, its been forever since I played the game, (at least it feels like it) and I cant remember when Wheatley introduced himself. Did I miss it? Cause I don't want to keep calling him Nigel.
The robot suddenly whirred to life and Pinkie jumped back.
"I...I'm not dead! Ahahaha! Well I've never properly introduced myself have I? I'm Wheatley, who might you two be, exactly?" asked Wheatley. Pinkie bounced up and down, happy that her robotic companion was still alive.
"I'm Pinkie Pie! Ponyville party planner extraordinaire! Try saying that ten times fast!" Pinkie giggled. Rainbow Dash flew in and proudly introduced herself.
"And I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest young flyer in all of Equestria!" said Dash. Wheatley once again whirred in delight.
"Brilliant! Say, how about you plug me in to the stick in that wall over there, yeah, and I'll show you something." said Wheatley. Pinkie used the portal gun to carry Wheatley over to a strange looking device and plugged him in. Wheatley stared at her intently, and shook his head.
"Yeah, I can't do it if you're watching. I, I'm not joking. Can you just turn around for a second?" asked Wheatley. Dash groaned and turned away, and Pinkie did the same. When Wheatley told them to turn around, they did, and a passage opened.
"BAM! Secret passage!" Wheatley unplugged himself and rolled helplessly on the floor.
"Alright, pick me up, let's get out of here." said Wheatley. Pinkie picked him up and Rainbow followed her through the secret passage. Wheatley looked around.
"Look at this! No route to tell us where to go! We can go wherever we want!" Wheatley spun around as Rainbow and Pinkie made their way through the metal bridge. They went through another door and saw a red eyed turret shooting a laser across the next passage. Wheatley began to talk again.
"Yes! Hello! We're not stopping! Don't make eye contact whatever you do... No thanks, we're good, appreciate it! Keep moving keep moving..." said Wheatley. Pinkie and Dash carefully crawled under the laser.They continued on, Pinkie happily bouncing without a care while Dash was creeped out by Wheatley's intense stare, his bright blue eye looking right through her soul. The trio passed through a large circular door. Wheatley cleared his nonexistent throat.
"Ok, let me bring you up to speed on something right now. In order to escape we're gonna have to go through HER chambers, and...she will probably kill us if, if she's, um, awake. So if you wanna call it quits and we can just sit here forever that's option A. Option B, go through there and if she's alive she'll kill us." said Wheatley. Pinkie looked frightened and Dash put on a mask of fake bravery.
"N-No way! We're getting out of this place, even if...SHE will brutally murder us!" Dash shouted, rushing down the corridor. Pinkie's pupils shrank in fear.
"DASHIE! WAIT FOR US!" Pinkie screamed as she ran after her friend. Pinkie caught up with her friend, gasping for air. As the metal door at the end of the corridor slowly and steadily rose upward, Wheatley desperately shook his...um...head? I guess?
"Ok, I'm gonna put the cards on the table...I don't want to go in there! D-Don't go in there don't go in there, she's, she's awful, she's awful!" said Wheatley, his voice rising. Dash glared at him.
"Shh! Do you want her to wake up?" Rainbow Dash hissed. After several moments of hesitation, Rainbow Dash gulped and walked through the open doorway. Pinkie Pie followed without a question, and Wheatley closed his eye. The room was filled with overgrown ferns and large chunks of metal shrapnel. The little British robot opened his eye and gestured to a larger robot in pieces, it's body scattered everywhere.
"There she is. What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly, like a proper maniac. Do you know who ended up purging her and ended up taking her down in the end? You're not gonna believe this. A PONY. Yeah, I wouldn't have believed it either, but a pony escaped and..." Wheatley told the story to Pinkie who listened, fascinated, while Dash went ahead, wanting to get out as soon as she could. The ponies and the robot made their way down a metal stairwell. They soon found part of the staircase to be cut up. The only way down was a jump to the darkness below. Wheatley had something to say about this, of course.
"JUMP! Actually, look at that, that is quite a distance, isn't it? Ok, you know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your hooves, although no braces on your arms though, so you're gonna have to rely on the old pony strength to keep a grip on the device and my extension beam, so do, do really make sure you have a good grip. You don't have braces on your spine either so don't land on that, or your head, no braces there. It would split like a melon! Eheheheh, heh..." Wheatley rambled nervously. Unable to take it any longer, Dash held tightly on to Pinkie and secured her grip on the device, and jumped.
"AAAAH!" Wheatley, Pinkie, and Rainbow screamed on the long fall down. They landed safely, and Wheatley was clearly relieved.
"STILL HELD! Still being held, you did a great job, you applied the grip, we're all fine, keep it up." said Wheatley. The group found another set of stairs and continued down them. They entered a room with a large platform and hundreds of switches. Wheatley spun in excitment.
"This is the main breaker room! Look for a switch that says "escape pod". Don't touch anything else, don't touch anything else, don't even look at anything else!" Wheatley kept talking while Rainbow Dash tried to make sure Pinkie wouldn't succumb to the temptation to flick every switch. Wheatley looked around.
"Do you see anything? I don't see anything, tell you what, plug me in and I'll turn on the lights." said Wheatley. An outlet conveniently appeared with a robotic whirring noise and Pinkie plugged her spherical blue eyed companion in.The lights turned on and Wheatley appeared to be very proud of himself.
"Let there be light. That's uh, that's what Celestia said." said Wheatley. The platform jolted, and Pinkie nearly fell on top of Rainbow. Wheatley looked around, trying not to appear nervous.
"Oh look at that! We'll be fine as long as it doesn't start moving upwards." said Wheatley. As if on cue, the platform rose, flicking every single switch in the room. Rainbow Dash began to hyperventilate.
"ARE YOU FLICKING EVERY SINGLE SWITCH IN THE ROOM? EVERY SWITCH?? SERIOUSLY?! ARE YOU SERIOUSLY FLIPPING EVERY SWITCH?" Rainbow Dash shouted. Pinkie's entire body convulsed, signalling an approaching doozy. They were soon in the same room as GLaDOS, the robot who Wheatley warned them about. And she was being put back together. All the parts of her body started connecting and Rainbow shouted even more while Pinkie's convulsions intensified.
"DUDE, YOU TURNED HER ON! SHE'S ALIVE! Oh, Celestia!" Rainbow screamed.
"It's alright there's a password!" Wheatley stammered. Pinkie gasped.
"Is it Bilbo Baggins?" Pinkie asked. Dash facehoofed.
"I doubt it." murmured Dash. Wheatley tried to crack the code while more parts were connecting rapidly and GLaDOS was taking shape.
"A....A....A...A..." Wheatley worked whiled his carbon life form friends stared in awe at the fully formed GLaDOs. She was staring right at them. And there was blood lust in that glowing eye.
Author's Note
GLaDOOOOOOOOOOOOS EVERYBODY RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!
The trio trembled as GLaDOS looked down at them. Her eye narrowed. Wheatley turned to Pinkie and Dash, his eye darting around frantically.
"Okay, new plan, just...just act natural! HELLO!" Wheatley said nervously. GLaDOS ignored Wheatley and kept her gaze fixed Pinkie and Rainbow.
"Oh. It's YOU." said GLaDOS. Dash gulped. Wheatley stared at Pinkie an Dash in awe.
"You KNOW her?!" asked Wheatley. GLaDOS remained focused on the pegasus and the earth pony.
"It's been a loooong time. I'll fill you in. I've been really busy...after you murdered me." said GLaDOS with a misleading silky smooth voice.
"WHAT?! " cried all three of them at the same time. Three crab like pincers sprouted out of GLaDOS's body. She slowly lifted Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Wheatley off the ground. Pinkie screamed, clutching the portal gun and trying to reach Wheatley, while Dash kicked and shouted.
"What? N-No! Put us down!" shouted Dash.
"Nononononononono! No! NO!" yelled Wheatley, his bright blue pupil dilated to a period sized dot. GLaDOS pulled him higher until he was face to face with her. GLaDOS turned to Pinkie and Dash, still holding Wheatley.
"Ok, look. We've both said alot of things that you're going to regret." GLaDOS said. She looked at Wheatley one more time before flinging him across the room with absolutely no effort. She made it look like he was weightless.
"NOOOOO! NIIIIGEL!" Pinkie Pie cried out and even Rainbow Dash teared up. They had no time to mourn over their companion, as GLaDOS returned her gaze on them.
"I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster." said GLaDOS softly. Pinkie was infuriated.
"You just killed WHEATLEY! You KILLED him!" Pinkie choked, fighting back tears. They continued to soar higher in the grasp of the robotic monster.
"I would say no, but since you went through all the trouble to wake me up, you must really, REALLY love to test. I love it too, there's just one thing we need to take care of first..." said GLaDOS as she lowered the frightened mares over a large hole. Her grip loosened,
"H-Hey! Don't you dare drop us!" stuttered the now flightless pegasus. She screamed as GLaDOS completely disobeyed her order and they plummeted down the hole. The two ponies shot down a dark corridor like a bullet. They leaned to the left and right to avoid hitting the jagged ends of the tunnel. They weren't sure if they were flying or falling.
They were in limbo.
"PINKIE!" Dash shouted, warning her as a machine closed inwards and out again with enough speed and force to easily kill a pony. They made it out as the machine barely caught their tails. They accelerated and shot down the tunnel at such a high speed, Dash might do a Sonic Rainboom if she went any faster. They slid up a ramp and got shot into the open, air, landing hard on a platform on the other side of the room. As the two stumbled to their hooves, they heard the voice of GLaDOS, murderer of small British circular robots. Pinkie growled, because Celestia damn it, did she hate murderers of small British circular robots.
"Here we are. The incinerator room." said GLaDOS. Rainbow Dash yelped as she became aware of boiling orange liquid all around her and fireballs leaping out of the heated liquid like a breaching whale. Pinkie slumped down and crossed her hooves, wearing a completely deadpan expression.
"Oh, GOOD." murmured Pinkie sarcastically.
"Careful not to trip on any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when I threw you down here, The portal device should be around here somewhere, and once you find it, we can start testing, just like old times." said GLaDOS. The tri-oh right...the DUO crawled across a metal railing very carefully. Pinkie started to cry again.
"...She...she KILLED...she killed...Whaetley...I'm so sorry Wheatley!" Pinkie choked out. Dash barely kept herself from crying. Even though she'd never admit it, she missed his mindless chatter. They jumped into a pile of old cardboard boxes and entered a room filled with piles of metal shrapnel. GLaDOS spoke to them again.
"There it is. Oh, hold on." GLaDOS lifted up the broken pieces of metal piled on top of the device, and Pinkie cautiously grabbed it.
"There, good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead." said GLaDOS. They followed her instructions until she began to speak again.
"Once testing starts, you are required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a bare minimal. Luckily, testing hasn't started yet. This will be our only chance to talk." said GLaDOS. Dash gulped. No good could come from this.
Author's Note
R.I.P. Wheatley
The two mares made their way through the shrapnel filled corridor, when GLaDOs fulfilled her promise and began to talk.
"Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? I discovered I had a sort of black box quick save feature in the event of a catastrophic failure. The last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis. I was able-well, forced really, to relive you killing me again and again forever." said GLaDOS without a hint of anger in her artificial voice. Dash shook her head.
"Lady, clearly you have problems. But we DIDN'T kill you!" Rainbow Dash protested. Pinkie Pie nodded.
"Yeah! I'm pretty sure we would remember purging a robot dinosaur demon!" said Pinkie. GLaDOS ignored them.
"You know, if you've done that to somepony else, they might devote their existence to exacting revenge. Luckily, I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to leave this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do and only 60 more years to do it. More or less. I don't the actuarial tables in front of me." and with that, GLaDOS went silent. Pinkie Pie began to tremble.
"Um...what did she mean by that, exactly?' Pinkie stuttered. Rainbow wrapped a hoof around Pinkie's shoulder.
"I think...I think she's counting down the years to our death." said Rainbow Dash. Pinkie whimpered. Dash pulled her closer and glared up into the sky, as if she were face to face with GLaDOS.
"But don't worry, we're getting out of here. I don't plan to spend the rest of my days as a lab rat." Dash spat at the ground angrily and lead Pinkie through the two portals she created while GLaDOS had been talking. As they walked down a corridor, a screen flickered on, signalling testing was about to continue. They found a pile of shrapnel blocking the way. Dash groaned.
"Oh COME ON!!! How are we supposed to get through THAT?!" said the confuzzled pegasus.
"I'll just put that out of the way for you." said GlaDOS. "This place really is a wreck. But the important thing is you are back. With me. Now I want all of your little tricks."
"But we don't have any tricks!" said Pinkie. Once again, GLaDOS ignored the mares.
"Because there is nothing to stop us from testing. For the rest of your life. After that, I might take up a hobby. Reanimating the dead, maybe." said GLaDOs. Pinkie laughed nervously.
"Oh, um, great! Good to have a hobby, heh heh...hooray for necromancy." said Pinkie. Rainbow Dash froze. What if they DID spend the rest of their life as lab rats? What if they spent the rest of the afterlife as lab rats?
Author's Note
Actuarial? I honestly don't know if that's what she said.
hooray for necromancy
"So she DOES want to exact revenge on us!" Dash hissed under her breath. Pinkie wrapped a hoof around her friend.
"You never trust a demon robot who you apparently killed and was forced to relive your murder memories. NEVER EVER. " said Pinkie. Rainbow sighed. She knew Pinkie Pie was completely oblivious to their situation. They went into an elevator and when they reached the next floor they heard GLaDOS talk again.
"Sorry about the mess. I've really let the place go since you killed me. By the way, thanks for that." Then the monotone robotic voice came back.
"SARCASM SELF TEST COMPLETE." said the robotic voice.
"Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you preform this first simple test..." said GLaDOS. Rainbow Dash sighed in relief.
"Oh it's simple? Good, haha. I thought it would be life threaten-"
"Which involves deadly lasers, and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers." GLaDOS interrupted. Rainbow Dash gulped. Pinkie tried to laugh it off like she always does.
"Th-that's easy. I was born locked in a room with deadly lasers." said Pinkie.
"No you weren't." said Rainbow Dash.
"Yeah, I wasn't." Pinkie Pie held her head. The two mares continued onward into through the door when they heard a large sound and an explosion of dust from above.
"Oh my Celestia, what is going on?!" shouted a panicked Rainbow Dash. The two mares yelped in fright as a laser beam activated a few feet away from them. Pinkie giggled nervously.
"Hah...hah...what if I was standing over there when it turned on?" asked Pinkie.
"You'd be dead." said Rainbow Dash with a grim expression. The two mares looked around the room, trying to figure out how to escape. Suddenly, Dash got an idea! She lead Pinkie towards a lift, and instructed her to stay put. Rainbow Dash sot a portal beneath the laser beam and one above the laser node. The lift began to rise and GLaDOS complimented them.
"Not bad. I forgot how good you are at this. You should pace yourself, though. We have A LOT of tests to do. The two mares passed through an Emancipation Grill and into an elevator. They heard GLaDOS' speak again.
"This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work. There should be one in the corner." said GLaDOS. Rainbow Dash cocked her head.
"Discouragement redirection cubes?" Dash repeated. Pinkie shrugged and they went through the door. They jumped over a laser beam and Pinkie gasped.
"Look, there's the cube!" said Pinkie. She took the portal gun and retrieved the cube. It was strange looking, unlike any other cube the pair had seen. There was tinted blue see through glass on the inner section of the cube.
"Woah, so awesome! It looks like an aquarium!" said Dash. Pinkie looked inside.
"But there aren't any fish." said Pinkie Pie, a bit disappointed. Rainbow Dash pushed the cube towards the end of the laser, causing it to reflect off the cube and hit the laser node, which caused a set of stairs to appear. The two mares hopped up the stairs. Pinkie shot a couple of portals and brought the cube back to them. She placed it on the button and GLaDOS presented them with their test results.
"Well done. Here are your test results. You are a horrible pony. I'm serious, that's what it says. A horrible pony. We weren't even testing for that." said GLaDOS. Pinkie's face fell and her mane deflated. Tears started to well up in her eyes.
"A...horrible pony? But...I didn't do anything wrong...did I? I try to be a super duper nice pony to everypony I meet, because everypony is my friend. Am I really horrible?" Pinkie sniffed. Dash shook her head.
"No, you're not horrible, Pinkie! You're the best friend a pony could ask for! Don't listen to GLaDOS, she's just...a bully!" said Rainbow Dash. Pinkie's eyes, filled with tears, looked into her friend's eyes. Pinkie hugged Dash, still crying.
"Th-thank you, D-Dashie..." said Pinkie, her mane inflated once more. Rainbow Dash gritted her teeth. GLaDOS made Pinkie Pie cry. She was going to pay.
Author's Note
My Youtuber started using subtitles! Hooray for subtitles!
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie walked through the Emancipation Grill, Pinkie still feeling sad that someone had called her a horrible pony. They entered another elevator and let it carry them into the darkness below. GLaDOS spoke to them, making Dash grit her teeth and hold Pinkie's hoof protectively.
"Don't let that 'horrible pony' thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's to abandon you on a doorstep." said GLaDOS. Tears welled up in Pinkie's narrowed eyes.
"M-My mother didn't abandon me! Stop being so mean!" Pinkie shouted. Dash gritted her teeth and tightened her grip on Pinkie's hoof.
"She's just making things up, Pinkie. Don't listen to her." said Rainbow Dash. Pinkie nodded. The mares entered the next testing room. There were lasers shot across the wall and falling debris. Rainbow and Pinkie studied the room. With Pinkie's help, Dash was able to arrange two portals and a cube so the lasers would hit all the laser nodes. The door opened, signalling they completed the test. The two mares cheered and bro hoofed. GLaDOS decided to "congratulate" them.
"Congratulations. Not on the test. Most ponies emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds." said GLaDOS. Pinkie laughed.
"Jokes on you, robot! You don't know how delicious cupcakes are!" said Pinkie. Pinkie and Dash jumped off the platform. Rainbow Dash was about to walk out the door, but Pinkie gasped and called her friend over. Dash found Pinkie staring down from a platform.
"What do you think's down there, Dashie?" asked Pinkie. Rainbow Dash shrugged.
"My guess is as good as yours." said Dash. Pinkie Pie giggled.
"Then let's find out!" said Pinkie, jumping down before Rainbow Dash could protest. Dash sighed and followed her friend. They looked around, and the room looked just as old and wrecked as all the others, but there was sray painting on the wall. It said 'Too many variables.'
"Too many variables?" asked Pinkie. Rainbow Dash shuddered. Something about the message sent chills down her spine. The two explored further, and they found another painted wall, covered with mindless scribbles and another message. This one said 'Don't even try.'
"Don't even try..." Pinkie repeated. Rainbow's gaze set on a small radio. Dash gasped.
"A radio!" said Dash, picking it up. The mares looked around, trying to find a way out. Pinkie took the portal gun and shot a portal at the wall, leading them back into the testing area. They groaned when they realized they would have to reset part of the puzzle to exit the room. Pinkie fixed the portals and they began to exit the testing area. To Dash's horror, the radio disintegrated in he Emancipation Grill.
"No!" shouted Dash. Pinkie sighed.
"He will be missed." said Pinkie. The ponies entered another elevator. They found the way to the door blocked by scrap metal. GLaDOS began maneuvering the metal.
"One moment. You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and...do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility." said GLaDOS. Pinkie smiled.
"You mean PARTY?!" asked Pinkie, pulling out her party cannon out of nowhere. Dash facehoofed and shook her head, but decided to play along.
"Make pancakes. Do you happen to have a pancake makification device, GLaDOS? GLaDOS? Hello?" said Dash. Dash and Pinkie went through the next door. Dash looked across he testing area and sighed.
"More lasers. Yay."
Aperture Science Aerial Faith Plates
Rainbow Dash shot a portal at the laser beam. She shot another one so the laser would hit the laser node, causing a platform to move back and forth. She closed off the laser, causing the platform to stop in a good position. Pinkie hit a switch and retrieved a cube. Pinkie placed the cube on the platform. Both mares stepped on the platform. Rainbow activated the platform once more, the laser hit the cube, and the laser node deactivated. The moving platform came to a stop. Carefully, Rainbow Dash lifted the cube, causing the laser node to reactivate and the platform to start moving again. Both ponies cheered as they placed the cube on a button and the door opened. GLaDOS spoke to them when they finished.
"I'll give you credit; I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record, you don't have to go THAT slowly. Waddle over to the elevator and we'll continue the testing." said GLaDOS. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and Pinkie's mane deflated a bit. The ponies walked over to the elevator to the next floor. They saw a bunch of cubes blocking the door. Robotic parts came and swept the debris away. Pinkie and Dash walked into the next test and GLaDOS began to speak.
"This next test involves the Aperture Science Aerial Faith Plate. It was part of an initiative to investigate how well test subjects could solve problems when they were catapulted into space. Results were highly informative. They could not. Good luck!" said GLaDOS.
"Oh no..." Rainbow Dash whimpered. Pinkie Pie narrowed her eyes as her mane fully inflated.
"We'll see about that!" said the pink earth pony. Pinkie dragged her friend with her to the small catapult in front of them. Dash cried out as she and Pinkie were shot in the air. They landed to the ground with a tumble on the other side. Pinkie was right back on her hooves instantly. She made her way to the red switch and pressed it, causing a box to drop. The was bouncing on the other side.
"Hmm...' said Pinkie. She put herself on the catapult and let herself fly through the air. She caught the box in midair and landed on the other side without any broken bones. She looked over at her trembling friend.
"C'mon Dashie, it's fun! Don't you like flying?" Pinkie said, cocking her head. Dash shook harder.
"N-Not without wings!" said Rainbow Dash. She tried opening them, but to no avail. Pinkie just shrugged. She launched herself to the other side and slammed the cube on the button. GLaDOS, of course, had something to say.
"Here's an interesting fact: you're not breathing real air. It's too expensive to pump this far down. We just take carbon dioxide out of a room, freshen it up a little, and pump it back in. So you'll be breathing the same room full of air for the rest of your life. I thought that was interesting." said GLaDOS. Pinkie gasped.
'Woah! That's so cool!" said Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash looked at her like she was insane.
"No, it's not. The Wonderbolts are cool. Sonic Rainbooms are cool. Shades are cool! Breathing in the same artificial air for the rest of your existence is NOT COOL!" said Rainbow Dash, practically shaking Pinkie like a rag doll. Pinkie giggled nervously.
"Um...Dashie, you're scaring me." said Pinkie. Rainbow Dash's pupils shrank. How did she not realize it? This place was driving her mad!
Aperture Laboratories were draining her sanity.
The two mares continued on to the next elevator. It descended to the next chamber, as expected.
"Let's see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Aerial Faith Plates. Well, have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world. *I* have to go to the wing that was made entirely of glass and pick up fifteen acres of broken glass. By myself." said GLaDOS. Rainbow Dash snorted.
"As if we pity you..." Rainbow Dash murmured as she lead Pinkie to the next test chamber. The testing chamber was assembled and the mares wasted no time stepping on the Aerial Faith Plates. As they were being catapulted through the air Rainbow Dash shot a portal on a flat surface they were being launched towards and another portal on the surface next to it. They fell through the blue portal and were launched from the orange portal. The two mares bounced off of another two Faith Plates and finally wound up on a platform all the way on the other side.
Rainbow Dash felt a bit dizzy from that, but Pinkie immediately trotted up to a switch and clicked it. Both ponies groaned as they were rewarded with the silky smooth yet sarcastic tone of GLaDOS.
"Oh, sorry. I'm still cleaning out the test chambers.So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless. Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you." said GLaDOS. Pinkie backed away slowly as she saw assorted pieces of junk flying across the chamber, and eventually being launched at her. A large ball like object was careened towards her, nearly hitting her square in the head. Pinkie screamed from the near impact, and cowered from the rest of the flying junk.
Pinkie's scream of surprise was enough to get Rainbow Dash back on her hooves to protect her friend from any harm. Pinkie gulped and cautiously pressed the switch again. To her relief, it wasn't trash but a cube that was hurled towards them. When the cube finally made it to them, Dash leapt in the air and caught the cube. She smiled, proud of her contribution. Pinkie giggled at her friend's pride.
"Nice work, Dashie!" said Pinkie, taking the cube and hoof held portal device from her friend. Pinkie peered over the edge of the platform to see the button that was required to open the door, and shot a portal directly above it. She then shot a portal at the wall and pushed the cube through it, causing it to fall right on top of the button. The door opened, and the duo walked through, proud and ready for any snark GLaDOS could throw at them.
"Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a second time just now." said GLaDOS.
Rainbow Dash sighed and Pinkie kept her head down in shame.
"Right...thank you...for that. Thanks, GLaDOS." Rainbow muttered as she and Pinkie got inside the elevator. The elevator descended, bringing them into the next chamber, where the testing AI greeted them.
"Did you know that ponies with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noises--" GLaDOS was interrupted by the loud sound of a train horn.
"GAH!" Dash clutched her chest, breathing heavily.
"I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact." said GLaDOS. Rainbow Dash growled and slowly trotted into the next testing chamber, Pinkie Pie bouncing right behind her. There was a laser being shot right in front of them and a strange looking cube across the thin red line. Pinkie squinted, realizing there was something wrong with it. She jumped over the laser and trotted over to it.
"Rainbow Dash...there's something different about this cube." said Pinkie. The pegasus cocked her head.
"Huh? What do you mean?" asked Rainbow Dash, jumping ahead to where Pinkie was. She was right. The middle of the cube was outlined in pink, with a small pink heart engraved in it. It almost made the inanimate object seem...cute. Pinkie crouched down, getting on the cube's level. Dash saw her ears perk up and heard Pinkie gasp.
"What is it?" asked Rainbow, crouching down next to Pinkie. Dash gasped suddenly. She could hardly believe her ears. There was a sweet, gentle hum...and it was coming from the cube.
The cube was singing to them.
Author's Note
Sorry I haven't updated in a while...but here it is. I hope you like it.
Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes and licked her lips in concentration. Her hooves mashed the buttons on the controller. Her hooves were slippery with sweat and she dropped the controller and groaned.
"I give up! This is too hard! This game is lame anyway!" said Dash. Pinkie giggled.
"No way, it's fun!" said Pinkie. Dash rolled her eyes and went to shut off the game she and Pinkie were playing. They were playing Portal 2 but the puzzles were getting much too hard, and Dash swore she was gonna get a stroke playing this game. Suddenly, a purple light filled the room. Dash covered her eyes. Both ponies blacked out.
When Pinkie opened her eyes she gasped in amazement. All her surroundings were black with the faint light of dim ones and zeroes.
"Rainbow! Rainbow! Come on Dashie, wake up!" shouted Pinkie. Dash groaned and shakily rose to her hooves.
"Gah! Wh-where are we?" Rainbow shouted in surprise. Pinkie shrugged.
"If you look over there you can kinda see Sugarcube Corner!" said Pinkie. Rainbow Dash squinted. Low and behold, there was a hologram view of the room they were just in. They heard the door open and heard a pony walk in.
"Guys! Guys! Listen, I haven't been feeling well, and well...I had a bit of a magic spurt. I saw the light come here and I wanna know if you're alright!" said Twilight. Her eyes were bloodshot and she moved sluggishly, indicating she had a bit of a cold.
"Woah. That was TWILIGHT? Damn her magic is powerful!" said Dash, not knowing that Twilight could hear her. Twilight spun around.
"Oh no! I-I'm so sorry! This is really bad!" said Twilight when she saw her friends in the TV.
"Well, tell us what's happening!" said Pinkie. Twilight gulped. Her flustered face filled the hologram.
"I accidentally transported you guys in your game system! Soon, you will be in the game. You will start to lose your memory that you ever played this game in the first place, so you won't know what to do. The only way to escape is to get out of the game by beating it" explained Twilight. Pinkie's jaw dropped.
"So we're going to be INSIDE Portal 2?!" asked Pinkie. Twilight nodded. Pinkie fist pumped.
"This is gonna be SO. MUCH. FUN!!!" squealed Pinkie. Twilight shook her head.
"No! It's dangerous!" said Twilight. The screen faded to black and Twilight sat to watch everything play out. It was all she could do.
Dash moaned. She slowly opened her eyes. She found herself in a relaxing room on a comfy mattress. Where was she? She shook Pinkie awake, and Pinkie moaned.
"Nooooo." moaned Pinkie, craving sleep. Dash pushed her off the bed and Pinkie laughed weakly.
"Oh Dashie, I'm awake now, thanks." Pinkie took in her surroundings.
"Um...hey Dash? Did we get like super dunk and pass out in a hotel?" asked Pinkie. Rainbow Dash pondered this.
"I don't think so...that was last week, remember?" said Dash. Pinkie nodded.
"Oooh, right! So um, where are we then?" asked Pinkie. Dash's feathers bristled.
"I don't know, but I want out." said Dash. She tried unfurling her wings, but they were stuck to her sides like glue.
"Uh...why can't I fly?!" asked a panicked Dash. Pinkie shrugged and jumped back in bed.
"Probably so we don't cheat." said Pinkie. Dash suddenly remembered the predicament they were in.
"Oh yeah we have to beat Portal 2." said Dash sleepily. Dash yawned and crawled back in the bed.
"I'm...so tired..." muttered Pinkie. Dash nodded in agreement and fell asleep.
Alarms blared and the room was completely dark.
"Eek! Kthulu!" shrieked Pinkie.
"No, just alarms." said Dash. Suddenly there was a voice.
"Hello! Anyone in there? Hello! Can you open the door?" said a British voice. Dash walked over and cautiously opened the door to see a circular robot with a blue glowing center suspended from a chord.
"Oh, you look terrible. Are you ok?" said the robot, sliding closer to examine Dash. Rainbow self consciously ran a hoof through her tangled mane. Suddenly, there was monotone voice that rung through the room.
"EMERGENCY EVACUATION." said the voice.
"What?!" Pinkie shrieked. The robot wheeled itself over to Pinkie.
"It's ok! Stay calm, stay calm, this is all prepared, it's safe. Alright, I'm gonna get myself out of here." said the robot as an emergency hatch appeared over where the robot was perched.
"You MIGHT wanna hang on." said the robot before it disappeared. Dash and Pinkie exchanged confused looks. Suddenly, there was a rumbling noise and the floor trembled. Pinkie screamed.
"Ok, ok! Need to find a grounded source,um, on the ground!" said Pinkie, frantically clutching a chair while her tail twitched madly. The robot's voice could be heard again.
"Hello! Are you ok? Can you hear me?" the robot shouted.
"Yes!" Dash shouted back. The robot appeared again.
"Look, some test subjects DO experience some uh, cognitive deterioration. Now you've been under for quite a lot longer, and it's NOT out of the question that you may have a LITTLE minor case of some serious brain damage. It'll be alright, but do, do feel alarmed and try to hold on to that feeling, because it's the proper reaction of being told that you have brain damage. Do you understand what I'm saying? Just say yes." said the British robot. Rainbow's jaw dropped and Pinkie trembled even more. Dash growled.
"No! No, I didn't! Speak slower, for Celestia's sake!" said Dash as she jumped onto the bed to meet eye level with the robot. The mattress was soft, and she bounced a couple of times before she regained her balance. The robot cocked it's head.
"Ok. What you're doing there is jumping. Uh, you just, you just jumped. Never mind. Say "apple" for me now." said the robot. Dash didn't move and just growled until an alarm went off.
"Ok, you know what, that's close enough. Just hold tight." said the robot, disappearing up the hatch again. Pinkie clutched he chair tighter and Dash stood still. The monotone voice rang out again.
"SAFE GAURDS ARE NOW DISFUNCTIONAL." said the robotic voice.
"Oh, Celestia!" said Rainbow and ran to the corner with Pinkie.
"DANGER, ALPHA CORE MELTDOWN." said the voice.
"WHAT?" said Rainbow. Suddenly, the window shattered and the room started breaking apart. The robot's voice could be heard again.
"I don't know if I forgot to mention this to you, but I'm in pretty hot water right now! How you doing down there? Are you holding on?" said the robot. Pinkie screamed as the walls splintered around her and the apartment was being destroyed. Dash flicked her tail and tried not to show signs of fear.
"Of course the WHOOOLE relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects! Hold on this is a bit tricky! And of course, nopony tells me anything, nooooo! Why would you tell me anything? Why should I know about the life functions of ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm in charge of? Let me see if I can get you through." said the robot. The room's outer shell broke away leaving the two ponys dangling on a platform being moved by a suspension chord. The platform smashed through metal beams and Dash couldn't hold back her scream.
"I just need you to concentrate! And WHOSE fault do you think it's gonna be when the manager comes down here and finds ten thousand bloody vegetables?" the robot ranted. The room rocked back and forth.
"Alright let's get our story straight! If anyone asks, and NO ONE'S gonna ask, don't worry, but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, EVERYONE looked pretty much alive, alright? Ok, almost there!" said the robot. Dash was officially freaked out, and Pinkie was panting like a dog left in the sun for five hours.
"Look, through that wall is where the testing is! There is a piece of equipment down there that we need to get out of here!" said the robot. Dash nodded. Getting out was all she wanted.
"Ok, I THINK this is a docking station! Get ready!" said the robot. The platform hit against the iron door, not doing anything.
"Ok, that is NOT a docking station! That's one mystery solved. Well, I'm going to attempt a manual override! Hold on, and remember, we're looking for a gun that makes holes! Not bullet holes! Don't worry you'll figure it out! Seriously, hold on this time." said the robot. The girls screamed as their platform was used as a battering ram against the iron door.
"NIGEL!!!" Pinkie called to the robot.
"His name isn't Nigel, that's terrible!" Rainbow shouted as their platform fell apart even more.
Author's Note
Portal 2. Hell yeah. Hope you like it
Pinkie Pie gulped and made her way up the stairs, afraid of what challenges would lie ahead of her. Rainbow Dash loyally followed her. They made their way through the next door to see a corridor with a lot of shrapnel on the ground. Pinkie Pie turned to see a glowing poster with the number two and pictures on it. Pinkie walked up and attempted to decode the pictures.
"Ok, first cubes fall down onto squares, hit you in the face, then stand on there like a stallion, you're drowning, BUT, don't worry cus there's a hole in the ground and you come out like a Superman and then uppercut a turret in the face and then vomit all over the sink and then you get one of those Tron cycles." said Pinkie, proud she had uncovered the mystery. Dash snorted.
"Oh come on, that's ridiculous!" said the pegasus. She trotted to where Pinkie was standing and frowned.
"Oh. No, I actually think you were dead on." said Rainbow Dash. Pinkie giggled and bounced towards the door.
"We're going to ride a Tron cycle into the sunset!" said Pinkie Pie. They walked through the door to see the British robot Pinkie called "Nigel" looking at them through a crack in the wall.
"Hey, hey! You made it! There should be a portal device on that podium over there." Nigel gestured to a place in front of him.
"I can't see it though. Maybe it fell off. Go get a closer look!" said Nigel. Dash nodded and gave her famous salute and Pinkie bounced away giggling. The two ponies got closer to the platform with the podium shooting sparks.
"So, I think that-WOAH!" said Nigel as the pegasus and the earth pony screamed as the platform gave way. Dash and Pinkie landed with a splash into the murky water. Nigel called out to them.
"Do you see the portal gun? Also, are you alive? Actually, I should have asked you that first...ok you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna work under the assumption that you're still alive, and I'll wait for you up ahead." said Nigel as Pinkie and Dash worked their way through the dirty water. The robot kept rambling and Dash was moaning in pain but Pinkie wasn't paying attention to any of that. The party pony was climbing up a metal staircase towards a strange looking gun.
Author's Note
Sorry for the short chapters I'm kinda busy at the moment but I'm just barely coming through. Also, yes I will be using Tobuscus quotes to fill in empty spaces and I will keep calling Wheatly Nigel for now so don't judge and just bear with me, ok?Peace off.
The two ponies stared in awe of the cube. Pinkie smiled.
"We should take this with us." said Pinkie. Rainbow Dash nodded in agreement. Just as she went to pick it up, the cube lit up and disintegrated into ash. Pinkie cried out and covered her eyes while Rainbow Dash's jaw just dropped.
"WHO DID THAT?!" Dash screamed, even though she knew perfectly well who the culprit was.
"Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry. Go ahead and grab another one." said GLaDOS. The dropper door opened and another companion cube fell out. Rainbow Dash nudged Pinkie gently.
"It's alright, Pinkie. Look, there's another one." said Dash. Pinkie slowly opened her eyes and trotted up to the companion cube. She picked it up, and this time GLaDOS let her hold the cube in her hooves. Just as Pinkie was about to place the cube on the laser, it disintegrated just as the other one did. Pinkie cried out in horror.
"Please, stop!" Pinkie cried.
"Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.Oh well. We have warehouses FULL of the things. Absolutely worthless. I'm happy to get rid of them." said GLaDOS. Another companion cube fell out of the dropper. Dash wasted no time scooping up the cube.
"Great. Are you gonna let us test now?" asked Rainbow Dash. She was answered with silence. Dash passed the cube to Pinkie, who grabbed it with her portal gun. She placed it on the laser and a lift descended. Both mares stepped on the lift and Pinkie shot two portals to make the cube fall through, causing the lift to rise. As soon as they were at the top, Pinkie shot portals and placed them so the companion cube was on their level. Pinkie cautiously picked up the cube, trying not to become attached to it for fear it would be disintegrated. She shot a portal on a slanted surface, picked up the cube and jumped down into the orange portal on the first level, with Rainbow following close behind.
They were launched right onto a red button, where Pinkie placed the companion cube. The button activated causing a platform to activate. The two mares launched themselves again and landed right on the platform. The two mares walked through the door but noticed something was wrong. GLaDOS confirmed their theory.
"Every test chamber is equipped with an emancipation grill at its exit, so that test subjects can't smuggle objects out of the test area. This one is broken. Don't take anything with you." said GLaDOS.
Pinkie looked at Dash, who in turn looked at Pinkie.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked Pinkie.
"I believe I am." said Rainbow Dash.
Both ponies immediately sprinted back to the test chamber, both knowing exactly what they planned to do.
Author's Note
Sorry for the short chapter today but I havent had much time to write and I still want to get the story out to you
