Twilight the science pony! Ep 2: The science of magic

by The Psychopath

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Princess Celestia
Length: 1284

Twilight now teaches the wonders of magic with Celestia. FEEL THE SCIENCE!

After my GRRRRRRRRRRRREAT success with my previous episode, I, Twilight Sparkle, am now ready to teach you about magic and how it's actually science, SO SIT DOWN AND ENJOY THE MAGIC! Today...*twitches* WE'vE Got CeLEstia as a...a *twitch* gueST. You'LL sEE How thE ArcANE artS are StiLL ScIEnce dESpiTE whAt You AlL ThiNK! EHEEEHEEEHEEE. SCIENCE!

Korean translations by hanel2527:
blog.naver
gall.dcinside

Published 2014-01-12 01:10:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-12 01:10:04 UTC

The lack of gravity and oxygen is normal.

Author's Note

MAGIC!

The lack of gravity and oxygen is normal.

"Welcome back to my newly refurbished laboratory! This is Twilight Sparkle back on my show. I'm here to teach you about magic and how it's actually just SCIENCE!"

Twilight's voice reverberated so hard in her lab that some vials and erlenmeyers fell to the ground, releasing deadly gas that killed the wildlife outside after it was vented.

"Oh, hey! Is this a dragon?" a pony spoke outside.

"I think it's dead."

"Maybe poking with a stick shall allow us to properly understand this incredible situation."

Twilight walked towards the left of her counter and said:

"Darn. I lost some concentrated science. Well then. Today, I'm joined by Princess Celestia."

"Twilight, I'm here to talk to you about what happened last we--"

Celestia's sentence was finished by a sudden expelling of air as Twilight yanked her towards her counter. Celestia was clearly shocked, confused, and surprised.

"Thank you for joining me, Princess. I'm sure the great ruler of all of Equestria would be a great center of knowledge and explain the subject of today's experiments."

"Twilight, I'm not here to...Is that a camera."

"DON'TLOOKATIT!"

Celestia fell over by the pony's sudden screams. She had tripped over a rather large cable that she hadn't seen earlier. Checking this black boa slithering across the entirety of the room, the princess looked to Twilight, whose eyes were in two different directions whilst a wide smile adorned her face, and asked:

"What is this cable?"

"Oh. It's nothing."

Twilight threw her hoof forward playfully and gave a loving smile. The ground started to shake violently in brief periods.

"What is that shaking?" Celestia looked around cautiously once she got up.

"Oh. It's nothing."

Twilight repeated the same actions. An explosion was heard from outside, followed by screams.

"Twilight, I think we should--"

"Show comes first."

The unicorn grabbed a tile from underneath her and threw it through the roof. She then grabbed some dirt and slammed it on the counter, prompting Celestia to shield herself from the splatter.

"Naturally, this is dirt. Now, we believe that it is impossible to change an object's composition just willy nilly."

"Twilight, this is serio--"

"That's not true! with magic, I can turrrrrn it into clam chowder."

"I...clam chowder?"

"OBSERVE!"

The unicorn's horn shone brightly and imbued the dirt with its aura. The dirt turned into spaghetti instead.

"Hmmm. That's not what I wanted to do. Still, it shows that you can modify everything with magic. It's because I'm taking positrons, neutrons, and electrons from surrounding materials to modify the nucleonic structure of the atom."

The unicorn smiled evil and stared at Celestia who was taken aback by the sudden head twist.

"Well...it's true that you could do that by theory, but magic isn't--"

"Easy to understand. You're right. Let me just toss this outside."

The lavender unicorn levitated the spaghetti and tossed outside an open window. After awhile, more screams were heard. Celestia was quite worried.

"Twilight, why--"

"There are even ways to use magic to modify magic! That's science!"

"That doesn't even make any sense!"

"Yeah it does. Look."

Twilight took a book from under the counter and placed it on the table. She opened it too quickly for the sun princess to see the title, but once the unicorn did, ghostly specters rose and moaned from the pages.

"Get back in there!"

The pony yelled as she started to smack the ghosts with a bat. A real bat. Not those weird objects. Wails of pain could be heard from the ghostly abominations as they were thrust back into the pages. The bat didn't look too well itself, what with its eyes spinning and its tongue sticking out. Twilight sighed in relief and threw the bat over her shoulder and into a wall, where it slowly and dramatically slid down.

"Here we go. 'How to modify the fire spell to use nuclear energy instead."

"Wait, what?"

The unicorns horn began to glow a bright green. So bright, in fact, that Celestia could see her own skeleton. Before the alicorn could do anything, Twilight's horn blasted a humongous lob of energy that went through the walls of her home and into whatever unfortunate place it was going to hit.

"That's the power of science! SCIENCE! NUCULAR POWER!"

The mare ran around hopping like a madpony and punched the wall with a karate yell and pose, then took out little balls from the wall. She smacked them against her still glowing horn, and smiled crazily as she tossed them to Celestia.

"Mini-nukes!"

"TWILIGHT STOP THIS!"

Celestia's voice was enough to destabilize the house. In fact, the walls all fell down like cardboard planks, revealing the destruction to the village being done by...a giant eggplant and a flying spaghetti monster.

"Twilight. What in Abyss..."

"We can change ponies' genders with magic science. I'LL USE CELESTIA AS A TEST SUBJECT BECAUSE I LOVE HER SO MUCH!"

"WAIT WHAT?!"

The crazy mare's mane started to twing and twang in every direction as she began to look more and more sinister. Celestia's face paled so much it became rainbow colored. She began to fly away, but Twilight had attached birds onto her back just for the occasion. She followed her teacher and began to try and change her as planned, even going so far as to approach the battling creatures. As they swung between them, Celestia performed a maneuver that the unicorn didn't expect. She slammed into the eggplant's crotch, then flew back away. the spaghetti just looked at her with confusion as she flied away, then looked to see the eggplant fall on its knees and vomit eggs onto the ground. The flying monster pat the vomiting one with a hope of consolation.

A few objects were hit by the beams, such as a pot and a tree. Nothing changed except for them turning pink. Rainbow Dash, though, was hit, but she didn't change.

"...Is this supposed to be implying something?" she asked to no pony.

As Twilight continued to fly, Celestia's rage boiled.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" she shouted.

An enormous explosion of SCIENCE blasted Twilight out of the air scientifically. Later in the day, she was being carted into a white wagon whilst in a straight jacket. The princess was talking with one of the doctors.

"So, how long do you think it will take to cure her?"

"She has an extreme case of 'Scientifis Obsessivum Not-Really-Latin-But-Ending-In-Us-And-Is-To-Sound-Like-It-Um'."

"Sounds awful."

"Her case seems acute."

"This sounds like SCIENCE!" the mare yelled from inside the cabin.

There was a poof sound, and the wagon was suddenly cover in green plants and colorful flowers. The other doctor started yelling in panic. He was covered with the same plants.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH! THE FLOWERS ARE DIGGINING INTO MY BRAIN!"

"SCIENTIFICALLY! WHICH MEANS BOTANICALLY! DO YOU EVEN SCIENCE?!" Twilight yelled in response.

The two observers just watched the amusing scene but carried on with their tasks, until Twilight:

"MAGIC! *snort snort*"

The world started to fumble and ilate. Many ponies were getting scared, but it went extremely far. Several parts were spinning and undulating whilst others changed color or become something reminiscent of extremely old comics. Trees were flying in their and birds were growing eggs as fruit while worms were their soil. Discord floated by as he read his newspaper, but he lowered in and looked around in surprise.

"Even I'm scared by what's going on, and that's saying something." he laughed.

The doctor took a wrench and bashed it over Twilight's head.

"That'll do, pony. That'll do."

After this ordeal, the doctors left to the asylum. Celestia felt relieved, then she heard:

"SCIENCE!"

*poof*

"DANGIT!"

"MAH BRAINZ!"